Making Moves

Laura. 19. Aspiring Footballer. Recovering From Being a Mess.

[tryingtoturnitaround]

Day 2

So I already missed posting on Day 2 and 3 but that’s still not stopping me. Just because I missed a couple of days doesn’t mean this is a waste of time. I think it actually just further proves why I need to do this. I need something to at least try and keep myself accountable. 

So Day 2 I woke up and the weather was amazing, felt weirdly like a reward for the positivity and intent to change. Went to brunch with some friends and sat in the sun, much serotonin. It was really nice and it was one of those days where your public transport works out so you get there on time and you’re not stressed or anything, could definitely catch a vibe. Definitely felt like something I would keep on my list of healthy habits, making time for relaxing with my friends and enjoying myself. Then went to some bookshops and record stores with one of my friends and was instantly crushed under the weight of being perceived, even though I normally feel really comfortable around them. So we had a huge chat afterwards about being perceived and wanting to be healthier people and how we wanted to start cutting out our bad habits, mainly binge drinking and hating ourselves. It felt really good to have someone be on the same page about this and to share the feeling of not wanting to be stuck in all this toxic shit anymore. Like we agreed that we wanted to be doing more fun stuff with our friends, instead of just going out and getting drunk. Which I earlier had a breakdown about, like does anyone really enjoy that or are we all just sad?? I work at a bar atm, the kind that has people who drink there almost every day and let me tell you, that shit is depressing as hell fam. So I thought today I could make a list of fun things to maybe do with our friends that don’t have to involve drinking for the sake of it and could be some healthier alternatives; 

-Go out for meals                                -Go for a kick at the park

-Board game nights                            -Go for walks 

-Movie nights or the drive ins             -Concerts or gigs 

-Bike rides                                           -Sporting events 

[tryingtoturnitaround]

Day 1-10/9

Whattup, my name’s Laura, I’m 19 and I never learnt how to fucking read. Well, almost. I can read but after reading my first post, I definitely have to wonder about the whole writing thing. So we’re on Day 1 of 100 days of doing stuff that is better for me than the shit I do now. And for Day 1 I started this blog and I’m going to try and work out where to start with everything, maybe explore some of the areas I can use improvement in. So plan to change my life by changing my habits surrounding:

-Fitness 

-Sleep 

-Hydration 

-Nutrition 

-Study

-Self Care 

-Relationships 

I think I’ll start out by setting one goal for each area a week. Simple ones at first that I can build into my routine and then week by week I’ll add to the routine which are comprised of my daily and weekly habits. I also have other personal goals that will improve my quality of life and make things easier for me in terms of training and stuff but I’ll put those separately.

[tryingtoturnitaround]

Tired? Stressed? You’ll feel better if you sorted your damn self out!

But it’s not that easy right, I’ve picked up the project of self improvement a thousand times and put it down just as many. I get a 15 minute spurt of productivity and suddenly think I’m going to be able to change my life in a day. That all my bad habits and weaknesses will magically be fixed and I’ll wake up the version of myself that I’ve always wanted to be. As you can already tell by the existence of this blog, that hasn’t worked out so far. Writing yourself an overly complicated plan that you think you’ll stick to rigidly when you wrote it 6 months beforehand, makes no sense. Not having measurable goals and not celebrating milestones of even your small accomplishments, doesn’t keep you motivated. And most obviously giving up, doesn’t get you anywhere! So I thought I’d try a different approach this time. I’m going to take it one week, one day at a time and treat this like a journey. It’s not going to be about getting myself to a fixed point but instead it will be about establishing good habits, getting healthier and living a life that I can, by my own standards,be proud of. 

I don’t expect anyone to see this or care really but I just kind of liked the idea of documenting it this way, so I expect complete honesty from myself. I expect that when I fall short sometimes, I will admit so, because there is no shame in it, only learning and growth to be gained. I expect that I will post everyday, even if sometimes mean doing two in one day or writing them in my notes to be posted later but I will post everyday. My goal at first will be to post for 100 days straight and to steer my actions everyday towards my goals and making decisions that are what’s truly best for me. 

Speaking of,the main driving force behind this, besides the fact that I am a girl who is doing her best but is not living her best life, is my want to be a professional soccer player. I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember and it requires a level of commitment and persistence in training and preparation that I haven’t yet displayed throughout my life. This goal will require several lifestyle changes, the forming of new habits and an improvement of all facets of my health. But I am driven by the fear that if I don’t act now and give myself the best possible chance of achieving my goal, then I am doing myself a great disservice. I can live with the idea that I might not get there but not if I don’t give myself the best possible chance to get there. 

So I’m ready. I’m ready to stop making excuses and start making changes. Ready to let myself feel but to not let those feelings stop me from doing. Ready to be the person that I know I can be, even though that sounds like the cheesiest thing I have ever said. I’m ready to not quit on day four because I missed an entry or it got too hard. Day by day, entry by entry, I’m ready to try.