What things do you feel make you unready for a relationship at this time?
OK THIS WILL BE REALLY LONG BUT!!!Â
I’m not even sure to be honest haha, it’s a really nebulous and ineffable feeling. After the last few I’ve been in it seemed really foreign for some reason, like I don’t know why or how but the idea of dating again just felt... weird?
I think I have a lot of cognitive dissonance because right now I’m like maxed out on thirst hormones and want to mess around a lot, more than any one person should be burdened with having to keep up with haha. But also I tend to be a pretty monogamous person so trying to balance my sex drive with that kinda sketches me out. I’ve become a lot more open minded and I’m ok for the most part with the idea of open relationships as long as I know the other person INCREDIBLY well and know I can trust them (I have a lot of trust issues from previous relationships and fucked up roommates in the past doing some fucked up shit to me lol). Polyamorous stuff kinda escapes me though, I think it’s awesome for people it works with but it’s a wavelength I don’t think I operate on haha.
To be honest though I think the biggest thing is I’m just not ready to feel pressured by commitment and the aftermath of a breakup. I don’t believe most any relationship is 100% built to last and I enter any of them knowing it probably won’t, the idea of hurting someone at the end of a relationship makes me really uncomfortable so I think just the idea of trying to commit to someone and not being able to stick it through holds me back.
All that said, since it’s been ages since I last logged in here, around last september I started casually dating my friend Feros. We’ve kept it super low key and super casual, not labeling things, not trying to make some big exclusive deal about it, it’s felt incredibly refreshing. We’ve both rushed into relationships in the past to try to seal the deal and had it totally blow up in our face trying to move things too fast and we’ve both come out of relationships pretty roughed up because of it so taking the super slow and steady pace has been ridiculously nice. We feel like adding a label right now just adds tons of superficial and superfluous expectations to whatever we have and just being really chill and “hey I’m not gonna stop you from having fun if the opportunity arises” about it has been GREAT. I really don’t know what I want out of a relationship right now, what they even mean to me anymore and if I’m ready to be committed to one person or any of that right now so just feeling things out with a good friend is nice.