you’d met matt at a bar a couple months ago, he’d text you on and off but nothing was ever consistent with him. you know he was involved with other people but you didn’t question much with it. it been a while since he texted, you’d honestly forgot about him till he said “can i come over?” and who were you to say no.
he said he’d be over at 9:00 but it ended up closer to 10:30. “practice run late or something?” you say opening up the door for him to come in. he mutters something about one of his teammates stressing him out. “why did you want to come over, exactly?” he looks at you after taking off his shoes “i haven’t seen you in a while.” “it’s not like you usually text, i mean. i haven’t heard from you in months.” he sits down across from you in the living room. “been busy.” your brows furrow. “with what? nhl’s on break for the olympics.” “i still have to practice.” you look at him blankly. “i assume you had enough time to send a quick text.” and now i’m pathetic, wanting a bad thing.
after that night, it’s the same on and off game. you’d seen him with a girl in the media, was he talking to her like he was to you? did he fuck her the same as he did you? how often did he talk to her? you never confront him about it. you felt guilt as you sat in his lap letting him attack your neck. why were you doing this to yourself? you didn’t need his validation. but you felt yourself craving it. eventually he did open up about his girlfriend. he didn’t seem to like her very much. you didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just leave her, but you would never ask.
he got better at texting, but it was always about him. he’s always texting you about her and how annoying the thing that she’s doing that day is annoying. it felt like you were more of a couples counselor then a love interest, telling him things he can try to do to save them. just hoping he would come over again. i’m just here keeping you warm till she comes around.
and he started coming more frequently. it still just felt like he was toying with you though. he stays till he finishes then he leaves. you know this isn’t healthy. that he isn’t good for you. but you can’t stop.
finish the job do your worst. if you can just coerce me it’s what i deserve. and the texts stopped coming. he stopped coming. his close friends (that he left you on) seemed to be filled with pictures of her now. it’s probably for the best. probably what you deserved for getting involved with him.
an: HI THIS WAS FUN!! i haven’t enjoyed writing for a while but i did enjoy this and im proud of it
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