Hi!! Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to check your rules for requests? I’m sorry if you had already answered this question before, I just couldn’t find anything and I don’t want to send in a request without making sure I’m not crossing any boundaries
I hope you have an amazing day/evening!
Hi! I've never actually made a rules for request so it's no worry.
Really, I'm open to any request besides smut. I do try to keep track of all requests and do my best to fulfill them. If I don't see/respond please don't be worried or offended, sometimes I just keep them as a way to keep them in one spot.
I'll write for all the guys in the original GNR lineup (Axl, Izzy, Slash, Duff, Steven), Dave Mustaine , or Motley Crue (although this is basically a GNR blog lol). I can take a swing at James Hetfield.
Typically I also write female perspective or nonbinary. I'm not sure I could do justice with a male reader perspective.
A/N: haha I'm gonna need to write something angsty or like an enemies to lovers after this, it's so fluffy I'm so sorry (I think?) Thanks everyone for asking for a part 2! 🫶❤️✨
It was an understandable offense, not indicative of past behavior that had gone unchanged. Though, you really would have appreciated someone to talk to given this was your first time flying on a private luxury jet plane.
That was what Axl had insisted on. He didn’t want you to bring your son to him, he was adamant he meet him where he would be most comfortable. It was mind-boggling to watch how his life worked now; a quick phone call, some instructions to the driver, and you were both on your way to the nearest airstrip to head straight to Indiana, bags packed and magically waiting on a plane specially for him.
Axl had stopped speaking to you once you told him your son had already met Izzy. It hadn’t been a malicious act on your part as it hadn’t even occurred to you how Axl may feel about that, so it didn’t cross your mind to keep that tiny detail out. Almost at once a look of hurt and betrayal had crossed his face and the plane ride had been silent ever since, despite sitting across from each other. Axl’s driver/bodyguard eyed you curiously with a small, reassuring smile. He seemed nice. You were about to try and make friends if someone didn’t say something soon.
Suddenly, a personal flight attendant appeared with a tray of items and a bright smile…along with a tight skirt and bare midriff. You squirmed slightly in your seat and cleared your throat a little to hide your incredulous chuckle. If Axl wanted to be a dad, he would certainly need to make some changes in his personal life.
“Hi!” She greeted you warmly, pulling the lid off a dinner plate on the tray in front of you. You smiled appreciatively despite the meal in front of you, which you were almost certain was squid of some variety. A very elevated plate, especially considering you were in the air. You vaguely wondered in the back of your mind if this squid ever thought it would be so high in the sky one day and focused on the irony of this creature being so far from home and found camaraderie with it. How were you so far from home?
“Thanks,” you murmured, averting your gaze. Suddenly, the lid sealed your plate back up with an abrasive crash, making you jump back.
“She won’t eat that.” Axl told the attendant. “Do we have anything…” He sent a sideways glance in your direction. “...Simple?” You snorted and Axl sent you another glance, lips just slightly twitching. There was just the slightest glint within his eyes that told you he wasn’t so mad anymore. The attendant beamed at the request.
“We have potato chips, soup, macaroni, pizza, chicken tenders?” She listed off immediately. Your eyes stretched a little at the seemingly unlimited menu.
“Um. Maybe just a coke for now. And some Lays?”
“Certainly. I’ll be right back, miss.” She said pleasantly.
“She’s great help.” You commented. It was slightly childish and you felt a little guilty instantly.
“Very good.” Axl replied genuinely, like you weren’t being a brat. “She’s the only one that stayed when the rest of the staff quit.” You didn’t wanna know what had driven them to that point.
In an instant the attendant reappeared with your items.
“Is there anything else I can get you or your guest, Mr. Rose?" She asked. Suddenly, Axl’s hand was resting on your shoulder.
“This is the mother of my child.” He introduced to everyone in the vicinity. The attendant beamed at you while Axl’s bodyguard smiled, eyes lifting from the magazine he had.
There was a slight wavering of pride in his voice, a certain level of excitement as he looked around the room, as if searching for more people to tell, as if he expected them to fall over themselves at the announcement. He had always been that way, bursting at the seams whenever something brought him happiness, or excitement. His emotions always seemed to spill over. Back then, the only person he could share whatever good fortune he ran into was you.
“Congratulations, Mr. Rose! It’s so nice to meet you, miss.” The attendant continued enthusiastically. He gave her an appreciative nod, along with one to his bodyguard who extended a nod to the both of you knowingly.
You hated that you wished he would introduce you as something more.
“So, where does our son stay when you work? Where is he now?” Axl asked you casually, as though there hadn’t been a period of silent treatment. It must have been killing him to hold in all the questions he had for this long, even when fueled by spite. Axl had immediately barraged you with just about a million questions on the way to the private plane. They had only stopped when he found out your son had already met Izzy.
“Family. I haven’t found a daycare I trust enough.” You told him.
“That’s good.” He said, nodding as though he approved. “I’m sure there’s plenty around Malibu that are top notch. We can even find a good nanny, do a real good background check, references, personality test, the works. I can see if we can get some recommendations. There’s a lot of options in the house for his room.”
You allowed Axl to go on and on for the moment, hiding your weariness and fears. Axl had always been both Type A and Type B in one person, and this very much sounded like the man you knew, mapping out all these grand plans and talking through them as he did. It could drive a certain person insane, but it never quite bothered you. Until now.
“Do your folks still live in the same place?” He continued, eyebrows furrowing a little.
“Five minutes from the Waffle House,” you confirmed with a mutter, now staring out the window. You didn’t need to look to know Axl was grimacing. It wasn’t the worst side of town, but it left much to be desired. You knew that; of course you wanted your son to have a view of a beautiful green field with trees outside his window or an oceanfront property. A tire swing, a yard you didn’t have to fear he would find his way out of into a busy street, a yard that didn’t have patches of dead grass. Of course you wanted better, but you were far more concerned with his needs being met and giving him love.
“Well, we can fix that.” Axl said dismissively, tone lifting as though it were another thing he was adding to his list, like it was as easy as renovating a room in his house and painting it blue.
“Fix what?” You demanded through gritted teeth. He matched your energy immediately.
“Oh, don’t. Don’t you act like that, you really wanna act like he’s getting the best there is in bumfuck Indiana?”
“It’s all he’s known and he wouldn’t know any different, he’s happy. And I am too. I came to you because it’s your right to know, but you don’t have the right to come in now and dictate changes and what you see best. Like I’ve had him living in squalor. I’ve done everything on my own–”
“You didn’t have to do it on your own, I never knew otherwise!” Axl cut you off, voice raising, hands gripping the seat’s armrests.
“Well, I did! And in case you forgot, I’m from bumfuck Indiana, so what hope is there for his mom? If we both weren’t from bumfuck Indiana, we never would have met! I’m not ashamed of where I’m from!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Axl accused, his eyes narrowing.
“Isn’t it obvious? Look at all of this. Never in a million years did I ever think you would be living like this.”
“What, so it’s wrong to want to have nice things? To be successful, to make something of myself?” You let out an irritated sigh and shook your head at his words. “You wanted to leave too, if I recall. You just didn’t.”
“I couldn’t leave, I had a child to think about.” You snapped. Axl glared.
“Yeah, and that doesn’t mean all of a sudden it’s the best place to raise him. It’s still a shitty place.”
“Maybe it is, but I’d like to think I turned out alright. At least I’m not trying to pretend I’m someone I’m not living in a big mansion and propping myself up with supermodels and yes-men to try and trick people into thinking I’m really something.” It was a step too far and you knew it the moment it left your mouth. Axl’s face was growing red in anger, but it seemed–for once–he didn’t quite know what to say. Suddenly, the flight attendant reappeared, just as chipper as before.
“Would either you or your guest like a full body massage on your flight today, Mr. Rose?” You raised your eyebrow at Axl. Your point couldn’t have been made more succinctly. He sighed and seemed to deflate into his seat as the breath left him.
“...No, not today, Natalie. We won’t need anything else for the rest of the flight.”
“As you wish, let me know if that changes!” She said. You bit your lip and turned your head to stare out the window again.
“I’m sorry.” You murmured stiffly.
“No.” Axl said, making you turn and look at him. “Don’t tell me that. Not when you meant what you said, not when it’s true.” You stared at him silently and he sighed again, sinking down a little in his seat, clasping his fingers together and resting them on his lap. “I’ve forgotten what it’s like,” he admitted quietly. “Just bein’ normal. Goin’ somewhere and just existing there, not somewhere in my head. Not worried about what people are trying to get from me when I’m talking to them instead of just listening.”
“You know, I’m not entirely right. And you’re not entirely wrong.” You told him quietly. “It isn’t the best place to live. It could be worse, but I know it could be better. I do want the best for him, I know it could be better–”
“No, fuck no.” Axl interrupted you. “You’re a great mom. I can see that, clear as day. Look at his face in those pictures–he’s happy.” You smiled tentatively.
“...It scares me when you start talking about all these plans. It’s a lot for me to take in, I can’t imagine what it would be like for him. After-all, he’s meeting you for the first time as it is. I can’t tell him, ‘hey, we’re also going to move and you’re going to some place completely new and your room is different and so is your house.’” Axl was nodding as you spoke, sitting more upright in his seat.
“There’s gotta be a middle ground. An in-between.” He agreed. You nodded. Axl continued to nod, looking at the window and peering down towards the ground as though he were expecting to be over Indiana already. “It’s gotta be at his pace. Not mine or yours.” You nodded. “Does he have a bedtime?” He asked suddenly. You chuckled, smiling.
“He’s in bed by 7:30 every night. He likes to wake up early.” Axl grinned.
“Like his dad.” He said smugly. Every time he found some kind of commonality, even the slightest, his entire face would break into happiness, as though he had unlocked a new level of personal achievement. You secretly found it incredibly endearing, just watching as his face would light up.
You’d never admit it, but there were often nights you laid awake just wondering about Axl. Where he was, what the latest swanky 5-star hotel room looked like, if he had changed and how much had remained the same. Despite his behavior differing, he seemed to keep the little quirks about him from what you could tell. Now, he examined you further, as if he were speculating the same thing at that very moment.
“You still have a hard time waking up before 7?” You laughed a little.
“Do I ever…yes. Right after he was born was the worst, I’m not even going to lie. Even with help, with my mom and stuff, I was so exhausted. He had jaundice early on, so sometimes I would just be up all night with him.”
“Jaundice, what’s that?” Axl asked quickly, leaning forward in his seat.
“It’s okay, it’s normal. Common with babies, it went away on its own.” Axl visibly relaxed. “His liver just couldn’t keep up filtering the waste, basically. But it was so hard constantly thinking I was gonna do something to mess up. I feel like the first three years of his life I hardly slept…so, yeah. I feel like I’m still catching up on sleep. It’s hard getting out of bed in the morning.” You chuckled lightheartedly, expecting Axl to laugh too, but he only stared at you.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you. For the both of you.” He said, so quietly, so solemn, you almost didn’t hear. The weight of his words, the grief within them, the regret, it was so heavy it made your throat tight. You looked over his head when you felt your eyes watering.
“Maybe it had to happen this way.” You reasoned, only when you were sure your voice would hold. “I know you were put on this earth to make music, Axl. You had to find that out.” His face twisted into a grimace completely opposite of what you were expecting.
“What about being put here to be a father, to have a family? What if I want it to be that?” Without waiting for an answer, he unstrapped his seatbelt and left the area you were sitting in. You turned your head to follow, catching eyes with his bodyguard. It was just the two of you.
“Did I upset him?” You asked in a small voice.
“You didn’t do a thing wrong, miss. He just needs a minute. He’ll come back.” Just as you had guessed, this man had a very comforting presence and a kind smile.
Clearly, he had spent many years with Axl. True to his predication, Axl joined you again after a moment, carrying a nicely folded fuzzy blanket and a pillow. Without warning, he unfurled the blanket and wrapped it around you.
“These seats recline, but there’s a bed you can use to sleep if you want to. You should get some rest.” He told you, fluffing the pillow. It took you by surprise.
“...Thank you.” You told him earnestly, though you didn’t tell him you likely wouldn’t be able to sleep. He said nothing, just continued to make sure you were completely tucked into the seat with the softest blanket you ever felt. You did your best not to consider how it very likely cost more than your car. Axl’s touch grew gentler as he smoothed the blanket across your collarbone. His eyes met your eyes then and his mouth opened slightly as though he were about to speak. Instead, he pursed his lips together and avoided your gaze, opting for a chaste and gentle pat to your shoulder.
And you hungered for whatever it was he left unspoken.
It was late evening once you landed. The way the air felt on your skin was comforting after the rollercoaster you had been through.
Axl already had a hotel booked for himself, though he left his driver with you and laid out plans to arrive the next morning, bright and early, at 9 am. You were able to relieve your mom from her babysitting and at least end the night in your own bed. One day at a time.
Just like clockwork, your son woke with the sunrise. His steady joy kept your nerves stable, though your heart pounded as you combed his hair.
“So…today is actually a special day. Wanna know why?” You asked. Immediately, your son’s face lit up.
“Why!”
“Today, you’re gonna meet your daddy.” Your son blinked, his face seemingly processing your words.
“...Daddy?”
“Yes.”
“But he’s working.” You smiled, straightening his shirt as you looked at his reflection in the mirror.
“Yes, he works very hard and he’s been far away for work, but now he gets to take a break. I know he’s missed you every second he’s been away and he’s very excited to see you.” He almost looked uncertain as he looked quietly down to his fingers.
“Is he scared?” You blinked. You were never not amazed at how small children’s brains worked. You knelt down in front of him, turning him away from the mirror to face you.
“...I’m sure he is, honey. Everyone gets scared, even your daddy. Even me. Are you scared?” Another moment passed before he shrugged.
“Why is daddy scared?”
“Well…because sometimes people get nervous when you meet someone for the first time.”
“Oh.” He chirped. “But I’m not scary.”
“No. And daddy’s not scary either.” Maybe to some, actually. “You have nothing to be scared of, baby. Your daddy loves you very much, he’s so excited to see you.” His big eyes looked up at you carefully, fully trusting everything you were telling him.
“As much as you love me?” You smiled.
“Yes. We both love you more than you could ever know.”
“Do you love daddy too?” You swallowed, trying not to obviously trip over your words.
“I do love your daddy.” The sky didn’t fall when you admitted it out loud. You relaxed a little, taking his small hands into your own. He would never know how much comfort he brought you, sometimes you felt like a turtle without its shell if he wasn’t by your side. “We’re gonna spend the day together and eat pancakes and you’ll get to show him your room and all your toys. It’s gonna be lots of fun.” Again, he seemed to be processing and coming to his own conclusions.
“Okay.” He finally decided. You smiled despite yourself.
Your hands were shaking as you waited for the clock to strike 9, all the while you tried your best to ensure it wasn’t visible in any way to your son, who was watching cartoons. It was exactly 9 on the dot when the doorbell rang. You pictured Axl waiting patiently, a bundle of nerves, for the exact time to strike before he made his presence known.
“Is that him?” Your son asked, springing to his feet. You gave him a wobbly smile and nod as the two of you met and made your way towards the front door together. At this rate, you were probably more nervous than him.
“Are you ready?” You checked, combing your fingers through his unruly hair as he rested by your leg, fingers clamped tight around your jeans.
“Yes.” He affirmed.
Axl was standing behind the door, alone. He was hardly visible behind a huge stuffed floppy-eared dog that was bigger than both you or your son. Your son’s eyes stretched and you held your breath as your son peered upwards, slightly rising on his toes.
“Hey there,” Axl greeted, his eyes glued to your son. You could tell he was nervous by his voice, shaky and low.
“...Daddy?”
It was like something broke and mended together all at once in Axl. You heard the rush of breath he let out and immediately reached out to take the dog from his arms. Once you turned back, you watched from afar as Axl melted to his knees in front of your son, who was stepping closer with a tentative smile shielded by his knuckles.
“Yeah, it’s me.” Axl said softly, almost like he couldn’t believe it himself. Your son smiled freely now and immediately walked into Axl’s arms. “I’m here, I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long.”
Axl’s eyes were closed as he held the tiny boy encased in his arms, but you could see tears sliding down his cheeks. You felt your own tears welling up and wished more than anything you had a camera to document this moment for all time.
“Let me get a look at ya,” Axl said, leaning back and sniffling. He held your son at arm’s length, eyes sweeping over him, smiling and laughing as he ruffled his hair.
“Daddy, why are you crying?” Your son asked, frowning quizzically as he swiped his finger on Axl’s face.
“Because.” Axl chuckled. “I’m just happy to see ya. I’m so happy. Can I pick you up?” Your son had his arms loosely tangled around Axl’s neck and now nodded pleasantly, as if it wasn’t their first time meeting, as if things had always been like this. Axl was completely captivated, eyes still locked on your son’s face in wonder as he rested in his arms, as though he were trying to commit the details of his face to memory.
“I was just about to make some pancakes,” you broke the silence finally, making Axl turn towards you. It was enough to knock you breathless, the sight of him, your family finally together. Everything hit you all at once, a searing regret and anger at yourself for not doing this sooner, at Axl for leaving, for never calling. Longing to have it always. Utter elation, serenity, a fierce belief that it was always meant to be this way.
“You like pancakes, buddy?” Axl asked your son, who nodded eagerly. “And syrup? And lots of butter?” Axl continued to list off, a smile spreading across his face.
“Yeah!” Your son chirped.
“I do too. That sounds great, Y/N…do you need help?” He asked you. You smiled gently.
“No, but thank you. Actually, didn’t you want to show daddy some of your toys?” You asked, directing your question to your son, who nodded.
“Oh yeah? Let me see. What do you wanna show me?”
Your son pointed his finger towards one of the baskets you kept in the living room full of some of his favorite toys. You kept one eye on the progress you were making towards breakfast, doing your best not to burn anything, while also watching as your son introduced Axl to his collection of trucks and dinosaurs.
“You still have this thing?” You heard behind you and turned, spatula in hand, to see Axl holding up a very dusty very old keyboard. It was something he had kept at your place to freely practice and write away from the hell that was his own home. You felt your face warm. Axl smiled slowly.
“It’s like mine!” Your son chimed in excitedly, pointing to his own toy piano. Axl grinned.
“Yeah, just like it. You like to play?”
“Yes! But mommy can’t.” You guffawed, meeting Axl’s amused smile.
“Mommy has a real pretty voice, though.” Your cheeks warmed and you felt your stomach flutter as you flipped the pancake. “Can I play for you?”
“Yes!” Your son agreed as though it had been his idea, quickly running to sit on the couch. Axl positioned himself beside him.
“Okay…I’m gonna play you something I wrote. It took me a really long time to write it. I wrote it for your mommy.” You froze, not giving away that you were actively listening with your back to them, as Axl played the opening notes to “November Rain.”
You recognized it at once—how could you not? Despite your best efforts, you had heard the song. The very first time it made you cry. Because those notes on the piano? You had heard the inception of this song, its earliest iteration, long ago when Axl had first started working on it. It was one of the first things he ever wrote.
The first time you had heard it on the radio it was one of the saddest songs you had ever heard. One of heartbreak, longing, of a bittersweet breakup. You never wanted to hear it again, especially in public. But this time, now, within the four walls of your home right before you, it had a different tone.
Tenderness. Hopefulness.
“When I look into your eyes, I can see a love restrained. But darling when I hold you, don’t you know I feel the same?”
“Nothin’ lasts forever and we both know hearts can change.”
Your throat felt like it was closing up as your entire body focused on processing everything you had ever been through leading up to this moment. You knew, perhaps better than anyone, nothing lasted forever. You had believed your time with Axl had expired for good. But maybe it was the absence between you that had a time limit. Maybe your separation was coming to an end. Hearts could change, like minds, and lead you back home.
Had he always looked at you and only ever felt your love restrained instead of flowing freely, like blood in your veins?
“We’ve been through this such a long, long time just tryin’ to kill the pain. But lovers always come and lovers always go and no one’s really sure who’s lettin’ go today, walkin’ away. If we could take the time to lay it on the line I could rest my head just knowin’ that you were mine, all mine.”
“So if you wanna love me, then darling don’t refrain. Or I’ll just end up walking in the cold November rain...”
Your son watched Axl intently, eyes glued to his moving fingers. Axl had him absolutely captivated, completely enraptured with the music he was creating. It was a moment you wanted to remember forever, something you wanted to see so often you wouldn’t even bother giving it a second glance.
“I know it’s hard to keep an open heart, when even friends seem out to harm you. But if you can heal a broken heart, wouldn’t time be out to charm you?”
Axl launched into a piano solo. It was enchantingly beautiful, flowing from his very heart. Your son began to clap, letting out a thrilled noise as though he couldn’t contain himself, his joy. Axl grinned, taking a moment to glance in your direction only to take a second glance when he found you already staring. He smiled, inclining his head a little. You approached his side slowly.
“And when your fear subsides and shadows still remain, I know that you can love me when there’s no one left to blame. So nevermind the darkness, we still can find a way.”
No longer did the song sound heartbreaking or bleak. There was something within it, a question lingering and reverberating. As though Axl were extending a hand out for you to grab.
As Axl continued to play, your son tentatively tried placing a finger on the keyboard to join. Axl laughed a little.
“That’s good. You want me to show you?” Your son leaned over Axl to touch the exact note his finger was hovering over, placing his hand on Axl’s knee to steady himself. Axl lifted your son up to sit on his lap, reaching around him to show him where to place his fingers. You smiled, pressing your fingers to your eyes to quell the sizable emotion sweeping you to and fro.
“Good job! You’re very good.” Axl praised softly, tousling your son’s hair.
“Why don’t you go wash your hands, big boy. Let’s eat breakfast. Soap and water!” You encouraged. Your son scampered off towards the bathroom and Axl stood, turning to you.
“God, Y/N…sweetheart, he’s magic.” Axl breathed, his hand resting on your shoulder. “I can’t even believe…you’ve done so well with him. You did such a good job.”
You were speechless from the praise and could only shake your head, shrugging.
“He makes my job pretty easy.” You admitted. Axl began shaking his head and looked around the space.
“This is it. This is what I’ve been missing,” he said, looking at your chipped baseboards and scratched door as though he were standing in a palace. “This is it. I don’t care. I don’t care what I have to do, I don’t care how long it takes, I want this. I’ll give it all away, I’ll give it all up for this.” You stared at Axl in exasperation and he already began looking defensive, argumentative. “I don’t care,” he warned you, as though you had disagreed. “I want you back. I want both of you. This is my family. We’re family—fuck, we created him. He’s half of you and half of me. It’s like he’s…he’s got your beautiful soul, your love for life, all of you inside of him.” You felt yourself softening under his words.
For so long, all you ever heard, all you ever told yourself, was how much your little boy was so obviously just like his father. How that was always a barbed reminder that you had lost the love of your life, that he was missing. But he was here now, telling you what he saw. Only he would know.
“Your song…” you murmured, hesitating. Your heart pounded. Axl nodded but said nothing, almost as if bracing himself. “It’s…beautiful. But I think I’m the only person in the world who understands it. Who understands you.”
“I know.” Axl told you after a long moment. He took your hand. “I knew you would.”
You were about to say it. Apologize for holding back, for not always showing it, especially when it was a feeling you felt every day. But your son came bounding around the corner.
“I want to put the whipped cream!” He demanded, already reaching for Axl’s hand to lead him to the kitchen table. You met them there with plates, a towering stack of pancakes, a side plate with bacon, and maple syrup with whipped cream. It was something you always tried to do for your son once a week–a big breakfast where you could slow down and take stock. A conscious effort to be there in the moment and really enjoy your time with your son.
Axl sitting with you, occupying a third seat that usually remained empty or covered with a jacket or flannel, felt both out of place and a perfect fit. It both warmed and broke your heart to see how quick Axl was to try and fit in the role of a parent. Instead of eating, he immediately cut your son’s pancakes for him, ensuring he had enough napkins, ultimately ensuring his needs were all taken care of before thinking of himself. He was hands on, just as he was with everything, and it was already a relief. It was a relief to allow yourself to think of how different, how easy, your life would feel with him in it. Not so lonely, not all labor. The burden of love and caretaking shared, someone who knew exactly what you were talking about.
True to the nature of having a young child, it wasn’t just sunshine and roses. Before long, your son decided he actually didn’t want pancakes for breakfast and wanted sausage. Axl was silent as you tried to gently tell your son this was breakfast for today, only for him to launch into a full-blown crying tantrum.
“Okay,” you replied neutrally, standing and picking up your son from the table. “Why don’t we go play, huh? Breakfast is done.” You turned over your shoulder and gestured for Axl to follow, who was standing and seemingly waiting to be told what to do.
Your son’s crying had already stopped by the time you entered his bedroom and allowed him to go to his drawing table. Axl leaned against the doorframe, now looking uncertain.
“He gets that from me,” he mumbled to you quietly. You chuckled.
“You haven’t seen the half of it.” You agreed.
“This is so out of my depth, Y/N. I would’ve had someone go and pick up sausage.” You chuckled.
“They just do that. You don’t have to give him every whim–they get over it.” You nodded towards your son who was now content with his crayons. “You’re doing good.” You assured him.
“Can we turn on the radio?” Your son asked, completely oblivious.
Soon, the radio played softly into the room. Late afternoon sunlight filtered into the room, dappled by the shadows cast from the leaves on the tree outside. In some ways, this was deeply familiar, laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling with only the music playing, Axl by your side. Your son had fallen asleep for an afternoon nap nestled into his new stuffed animal that now took up more of his bed than him. You were certain Axl would get a crick in his neck from the way he positioned his head to stare towards him sleeping soundly.
“This feels like a dream,” he murmured, voice low and deep. You nodded silently in agreement.
“Axl…” you began, feeling your heart pound. He turned his head towards you, eyes earnest and willing to hear out whatever you were about to say. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel…that I didn’t love you with everything I had. I wish I showed you more, I wish you could have understood and known just how much…every moment with you meant. I should’ve done more.” He was shaking his head, but paused.
“Thank you,” he acknowledged. “But I shouldn’t have ran. I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve called, I should’ve come back. Believe me, I’ve ran through every scenario a million times.” You both stared at each other desperately. Axl’s hand grabbed yours and you turned to your side to face him fully, pulling his hand with yours to your chest.
“We were young and stupid.” You whispered, smoothing over both your mistakes. You didn’t want to feel them anymore. There were better things to feel. Axl smiled slowly.
“We still are,” he mused. “...But we can figure it out. Tell me you want it too.”
You wanted to ask, what about the band? What about the music, the model, the house? But you addressed his question first, your heart first.
“Yes.” You said. “But–”
“Then that’s it. I’ll take care of the rest. There’s only you and him. I’ll drop all the women, the groupies, the entourage, all the fucking sycophants–I don’t need it. Just you and him. Fuck everything else.” You smiled, chuckling fondly and shaking your head.
“Axl–”
“Hey. Don’t worry that pretty head of yours, baby. Let me handle some things now. We can have a house here and keep my house back in Malibu, go back and forth. Figure out where the best schools are. We can stay here if you want. I can give you both whatever you want, and I intend on it. Now, stop your worrying.” You laughed a little, allowing Axl to pull you closer to his chest, feeling his breath stir the hair on top of your head and his lips press against your skin. “I could get used to those pancakes, you know. They were really fucking good.” You laughed into his shirt.
“Axl, I love you.” He squeezed you tighter to him and you felt him seemingly decompress, softening against your embrace, letting out a soft breath.
“And I love you, darlin’.”
It didn’t matter if it wasn’t the comfiest position or that your shoulder was beginning to ache. There was nowhere in the world you would have rather been. “Your Song” by Elton John came over the radio suddenly.
Axl leaned forward to kiss your forehead. There was rustling behind Axl and your son was sitting upright, hair sticking in opposite directions, as if awoken by an alarm clock.
“Elton John is made for Sundays,” he yawned, as though he were making a casual statement about the weather. Axl looked at you quickly in wide-eyed wonder, like he had seen a ghost. You smiled knowingly as Axl rolled over to his shoulder.
“Who told you that?” He asked in amazement. Again your son yawned before he crawled off his bed and joined the both of you on the ground, crawling between the two of you.
“Mommy!” He exclaimed carefully.
“Your daddy used to tell me that,” you told him, patting your son’s soft leg and exchanging a smile with Axl.
You see I've forgotten, if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is, what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen
You felt yourself tuning out whatever conversation Axl and your son were having, watching instead as their faces mimicked their shared joy, admiring how there were now two people in your life, in the world, with the same beautiful eyes. It was so easy to imagine now what life had the potential to be–pancakes on the weekends, every corner of the house piled with children’s toys, a stable routine where you and Axl made sure you were available every evening to put your son to bed. That you were both there to wake up with him. Axl’s situation made it to where you both had the option, the privilege, to dictate your schedules and entire life around your growing family. You could have a growing family now, more children, if you wanted. None of it was only locked in your imagination anymore, now it was a possibility.
is it just a thing for GNR girls to eventually see the light that is Izzy Stradlin or…? I started as a Duff girl then I had a full blown Axl Awakening but now…………like help. This man is DOING something to me. Is it because I’m getting older??? Is it just me?
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