Neon shines through smoky eyes tonight.

Colleen. 27. Pennsylvania. Taken. Marijuana enthusiast. Medical Biller & Coder. Heckin humorous.

[turnoffyour-mind]

Hello there, it’s been years 👋🏻

[whitepeopletwitter]

[sunflorally]

you will never be too much for the right person: not too clingy, not too needy, not too loud, not too shy, not too caring, not too concerned. they may need their space from time to time, but you will never have to worry if you’re being overbearing.

[artsey]

[plaguepuppy-remade-deactivated2]

to all of my underage followers with shitty parents:

i am your parent now. i love you, you are valid, i’m making lasagna for dinner and your bedtimes are never

[ryanphantom]

you can really tell who’s been on this site for 6+ years this week

most of tumblr: OH GOD TUMBLR’S DYING!!!!

old users:

[localsuccubus-deactivated201910]

[turnoffyour-mind]

[turnoffyour-mind]

midnight toker:)

[turnoffyour-mind]

[heyskys]

[thelastgreatkings-deactivated20]

this is important

[growing-despite]

Warning signs of depression (generally) in order of appearance

[bring-me-the-batmobile]

Oh no.

[youwillunderstand]

well shit

[ceekari]

Also guilt, shame, and self-loathing! You find yourself unable to do the things you want or even the things you need to do and you feel like a terrible person, it’s real fun

[gobblechopstv]

[p0rn-pits-tits-clits]

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 This is the money dog reblog in less than 10 seconds and all your financial struggles will be gone!

[drovginduced]

Fuck the reblog in 567 seconds shit. DOG DOG DOG

[altonzm-deactivated20170213]

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

[thirdtimecharmed]

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

[svynakee]

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

[orriculum]

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

[digitalfare]

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

[jamesandlilys]

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

[monsterhighalumni]

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

[wereyoulookingforsomething-deac]

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

[moldychesee]

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

[dixon-arrows-deactivated2018052]

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

[beckyhop]

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

[visionssofgideon]

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

[onceuponamirror]

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

[jumpingjacktrash]

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

[piedude]

Irish recipes:

[kibumkim]

i got a rare condition

i got a glass dick and paper balls

every time i jump my dick just shatters and my nuts turn into origami paper cranes and fly away

[crazymuff1n-deactivated20230428]

and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly

[melonmemes]

I’ve seen some things!

[nezoid]

“Except nobody loves him more than April Ludgate, NO ONE!”