The United Self-States of an American Idiot

My system name is funny wordplay, not a political stance (I love Green Day). This is our system blog, used by everyone. 20s, DID with psychotic-like symptoms, plural, alterhuman, queer

[tussai]

When I say I am mixed-origin and not endogenic, I mean that. There is more than one cause of my plurality, but both are rooted in trauma.

Plural is a label I choose to opt into to describe my overall identity and experiences of being "more than one," though I prefer to describe my plurality as "not being alone within yourself." There are two things that contribute to that feeling for me: my DID and my psychotic-like symptoms. There is technically a third reason, but it dabbles into religious experiences that are very personal to me, so I won't go into detail about it.

DID is traumagenic, and I have reason to believe my psychotic-like symptoms are also traumagenic in origin. With DID comes alters, and with my psychotic-like symptoms comes hallucinations. Just as we are always in each other's presence as alters, our hallucinations are often a constant presence as well.

I do not experience myself as existing in complete psychological solitude. There are alters, voices, and presences that occupy my internal world alongside me, each in their own way. That does NOT mean I view my hallucinations and my alters as the same phenomenon. They are distinct experiences that I understand differently and have different mechanisms, but both contribute to the broader feeling that I am not alone within myself, which is the understanding of plurality that resonates most with me.

This framework has been immensely healing and very useful in therapy and in helping us function as a more cohesive unit. I am going to prioritize my healing journey and integration over appearing more palatable to any particular group. My identity as a mixed-origin plural, and my right to self-determination, are integral to that process.

It's also important to remember that "plural" is an identity label, not a diagnosis. I am diagnosed with DID and experience psychotic-like symptoms; I choose to identify as plural. You can disagree with my identity label, but it doesn't make me less disordered and traumagenic.

[tussai]

People keep looking for answers in the wrong field, and it annoys me.

If someone is asking whether a phenomenon is a recognized mental disorder, then clinical psychology and psychiatry are the appropriate places to look. If someone is asking about a social identity, a community, a cultural phenomenon, or how people describe and understand their own experiences, then sociology, anthropology, ethnography, and related social sciences are also relevant.

For example, most people understand that alterhuman communities aren't explained by clinical zoanthropy. They're different phenomena that happen to share some superficial similarities. In a similar vein, discussions about endogenic plurality as a social or identity phenomenon aren't fully answered by literature on dissociative disorders. You will have to look at other sciences.

What frustrates me the most is when people dismiss social science sources as "not real science" simply because they aren't clinical studies. Social sciences are still sciences, and they're often the most appropriate for studying communities, identities, and cultural/spiritual/religious phenomena... Like endogenic plurality.

But... I will admit... if you're looking for the field most directly concerned with explaining the underlying mechanisms of subjective experiences... I'd probably point to psychology and cognitive science. There's just... not much there yet. What we do have are reports, interpretations, community frameworks, maybe some relevant psychological theories, and a LOT of unanswered questions.

TL;DR Different fields answer different questions, and psychology is not the only one that has things to contribute. Social science is a real science. If you're asking whether something is a disorder, clinical psychology is the most relevant. If you're asking about identities, communities, and lived experiences, social sciences are also relevant. And when it comes to endogenic plurality specifically, there is currently no widely accepted psychological or cognitive-science explanation that fully answers the questions many people are asking.

[education-system]

Oh my fucking lord the piss on the poor in this community. People aren't comparing things in the way you think they are. Therians have nothing to do with CDDs inherently. But therians have a similar lack of research done on them as a non-disordered identity as endogenics have done on them as a non-disordered identity.

Being trans and being plural are not the same thing but it is common for people to try to force those who have absolutely no disorder in relationship to their trans identity into a disordered box just as people try to force people with a non-disordered experience of plurality into a disordered box.

Its never been about saying these two identities are the same. Its never been about saying this identity is the same as this completely unrelated disorder. That is a bad faith interpretation so you have something to hate a group for when they make it clear that is not what they are saying. The comparison has always been about how saneism presents similarly across different groups. I'm so flipping tired of seeing these bad faith interpretations of people simply trying to bring attention to the saneism that exists in this world.

Ok I'm done. I'll get off my soap box now.

[tussai]

Truth nuke

[onewiththerot]

Blocking people the moment I see them say "trauma is not a requirement for did/osdd" is self care.

[tussai]

I'm stealing "truth nuke" from all of you and incorporating it into my vocabulary now

[starstruck-sillies]

Where the fuck are all these "CDDs aren't actually trauma based" people coming from?? What hole did yall crawl out of and why are yall making it everyone's problem.

Can we please just validate non-CDD plurals without invalidating the trauma basis of CDDs. That literally does not help anyone at all. All this does is 1. Give people who are actively trying to debunk the very existence of CDDs (cough cough Grey Faction cough) more ammunition, and further add to the already heavy stigma around CDDs.

2. Encourages people to fakeclaim the very real trauma of pwCDDs. I assure you, if this narrative becomes popular, our system in particular, as well as any other CDD system who formed from similar trauma to ours, will be rampantly fakeclaimed by people who are convinced we're "not traumatized enough" because of the fact that our trauma is both seen as inherently lesser than others, and is normalized to the point a lot of people don't think it's traumatic at all. Do not give these fucks more ammo to hurt us and systems like us.

3. Will further push plural spaces closer and closer together, to the detriment of all in them. Need I remind yall of how heavily watered down the practice of tulpamancy has become in plural spaces? Or how many CDD systems feel uncomfortable, unheard, and ignored in plural spaces? Or how many plurals/multiples of all kinds feel like the community is too broad to mean anything or be much use anymore?

4. Will encourage people to both medicalize non-CDD plurality, and demedicalize CDD multiplicity. I mean, seriously, I thought the entire point that non-CDD plurals have been getting at for decades is that their experiences are not medical and that they explicitly do not want to be treated as such? Have we completely forgotten the harm that came from the empowered multiple movement's attempts to demedicalize DID?

I need yall to understand the harm behind this rhetoric. This is not only harmful to CDD systems, but non-CDD plurals as well. Are you willing to throw all of us under the bus for the sake of a very rare, hypothetical edgecase that no one aside from bait blogs and maybe 3 random blogs that promptly vanished have even claimed to be?

I reiterate; THIS DOES NOT HELP ANYONE. This neither lessens the stigma around CDDs, nor validates non-CDD plurals. This only makes things worse for both.

[tussai]

Truth Nuke

[inspectre-gadget]

Y'all understand that it is a patient's right to refuse treatment, yes? You understand that this extends to psychiatric treatment? That there is something deeply troubling about immediately dismissing a patient exercising their right to refusal as Symptoms™? It's very important to me that you understand this.

[ego-similis-testudines]

It's seriously fucked up that there's no way to speak frankly with a professional about suicidal thoughts without the looming threat of involuntary institutionalization and, by extension, psychiatric abuse. How, exactly, are suicidal people supposed to be aided in not feeling suicidal if they aren't allowed to safely express it through what are supposed to be the appropriate channels?

[alteredpanel]

[no-oxygen-in-my-bl00d]

I don't think Americans exist

[tussai]

[tussai]

I feel like some of you don't see people who ID as endogenic as actual human beings with thoughts and feelings and an equal right to love and happiness, and it makes me physically ill and scared to be around you. If something as small as an identity label makes you think and act this way, you are not safe to be around. Not when your respect and love for other human beings is conditional.

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[tussai]

I'm gonna start doing this. Both for shits and giggles, and because it apparently helps make some text more accessible. It weirdly helps me, at least.

[tussai]

I think it would be good for me to do the 30 days of DID thing, even though I'm so very late to the party.

[tussai]

I say as I don’t do the 30 days of DID thing

[tussai]

I notice some people have kinda started to wonder if I'm actually pro-recovery or not... and I get wary of saying yes because I'm also technically anti-psych and pro autonomy. If someone doesn't want to get better and wants to get worse, I don't think anyone should incarcerate or institutionalize them for that. Especially if it causes no harm and creates no danger for others, or otherwise infringes on other's autonomy. Does that make me anti-recovery? I don't think so. Because I also support people wanting to get better and tap into available resources.

Overall I think I just value autonomy over forcing people into being or doing something they don't want to do or engage in "for their own good." It's icky. But maybe I feel that way because I personally experience psychotic-like symptoms, and I don't really wish to stop or get rid of those symptoms because they are mostly non-distressing anyway and add color and meaning into my life. But I do want to learn how to better manage my trauma and my dissociative symptoms because those do *not* add meaning or color into my life, and are actively distressing.

But it also gets confusing because people have different opinions about what is and isn't anti-recovery. I've met people who considered me anti-recovery because I believed that final fusion wasn't required and that functional multiplicity is a perfectly normal and acceptable path towards healing.

This is why I hate labels.

[salviasprings]

i will say the idea that endos are 'stealing professional resources' is never something i could get behind on because 'professional resources' for CDD are almost never actually focused on systemhood. professional resources for CDDs includes trauma and dissociation treatment. if someone who says theyre endogenic is seeking out those resources and getting referred to them they obviously need them. what even is this argument.