But oh, to be free. Not to have to go, “Poof! What do you need, “Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need?”. To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.
poem
rated t for thanks to john wyndham for the quote and the inspiration.
word count: 1,023
01. tie
He hates them. Though his smile is as bright as the stars scattered on the nightsky and equally sincere and genuine and beautiful, which often leads to your heart fluttering and beating fiercely against your chest, he sucks at hiding his feelings when he’s down. Today he has to attend another interview, another day cramped with schedules and rehearsels and practice and and and, so it’s only absolutely out of question for him to be anything else than the usual ball of sunshine that the fans know and have come to love but there are days when even Hoseok finds it hard to be his usual cheery self.
That’s when he resorts to you, hiding himself in the embrace you so willingly offer, in the kisses he manages to steal or in the sweet, aromatic scent of your hair when he buries his face in your neck. He inhales you and you exhale him, it’s a circle that’s peaceful, quiet and full of unspoken words. If there is anyone who knows what it means to have someone by his side who can always put a smile on his face when he’s tired from working, exhausted from dancing or practicing all night long then it’s Jung Hoseok.
You are delicate when he isn’t but then again, he’s strong when you aren’t. You give him hope when he’s down even when he’s the one whose name includes said word. His world revolves around you because you are his sun, his center and he’s the one to absorb it, to grow and learn beneath your fingertips. What he doesn’t know is what he does for you when he kisses your temple and allows you to find relaxing happiness if just for a short moment, when he holds your hand and gives it a squeeze, when you are entangled in his embrace at night when he just stepped into your apartment and you’re there, half-awake with messy hair and no make-up on but you are there, and he’s glad and in between sobs, quiet whispers and exchanged kisses, all you can think about is him him him.
02. table
Hoseok manages to throw you off when you least expect it. There are times when he comes home from work and instantly wraps his arms around your waist as soon as he steps through the door right into your world, and then there are days where he’s quiet and timid. Though the latter often confuses you as he refuses to tell what is on his mind and just forces a gentle, albeit sad smile on his lips, by now you are accustomed to the way his environment influences him and how it takes its toll on him.
“We won today. Can you believe it? I never thought we’d make it this far - ”
You cut him off by pressing a kiss on his lips and despite being initially surprised, his hands find their way to cup your cheeks. Soon, you break away from him and nuzzle into his chest to try and remember what he smells like in this exact moment because he’s going away again soon and you just want to capture this moment somehow. And Hoseok smells of galaxies hidden in his ribcage, of promises stitched on skin and stars hovering over the ground. He smells of dreams, happiness but also strength and determination and you cannot help but feel yourself falling even harder. How does a person manage to be so wonderful while being nothing but a mere human? That you will never manage to grasp and maybe, just maybe it’s good that way. Maybe you don’t need to either.
Gentleness comes in many ways and because of him you have learned that acceptance is a form of it as well. Despite your heart still aching with unhappiness whenever you see him being particularly upset over something a fan said to him that day or a mistake he made during training, now you know how to deal with it. And Hoseok knows that you knows, he can tell from the way your hand finds his when you both are sitting at the table together and he’s writing another song because his mind is off somewhere so in order for him to release stress, he puts them into words and keeps them engraved on his heart right next to the spot you have occupied.
03. sunrise
Your back is against the wall, his hands on your thighs as he lifts you up off the ground. His breath is hitched as you kiss him, hungry and desperate enough to make him feel dizzy, broken occasionally by heavy pants and moans from both your throats. Every single movement is in synchronisation and there’s nothing but trust in each kiss he manages to steal, in every moan you force from his lips. But it’s okay, none of it really matters when the bed creaks and one silhouette finds itself hovering over another. The rest is a blur of love turned into reality, of love in form of hickeys, caresses, trust, moans and it’s hours before he is the first to wake up while you are still peacefully exploring the land of dreams in Hoseok’s arms.
And he smiles when you whisper his name in your slumber, smiles when the first sunbeams of the day fall upon yours and his figures, allowing your shadows to turn into one which he doesn’t see and neither do you but it doesn’t matter for his eyes are on you, only on you as they have been all this time and will continue to be. When you finally do open your eyes you are welcomed into this world with a gentle peck on the nose and a giggle before you can feel someone poking your side which immediately awakens you; that state of mind when you are nothing but a bouquet of clumsy words, of haziness, in the moment between sleep and awake where you’re still dreaming but it’s slowly slipping away. and so you wake up, on the brink of an unknown future, to an echo from a vanished past.
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