· ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations
pls reblog if you like any of my recs and don´t forget to support authors!❤️
[ here´s a bunch of throwback fics that i hold dearly in my heart ]
LEMME INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME 2023 ART PIECES BY ( @wildestdreamsblog ). If you´re into angsty, manipulative, possessive, obsessive, soft yan!bts as much as i was you´re gonna love these, trust. 1) finding out they cheated on you - hyung line ver. / maknae line ver. 2) trying to move on - maknae line ver. / hyung line ver.
bewitched - ( @borathae) smut, fluff, vamp!yoongi, witch!reader, you put a spell on him so he cant cum till you say so, ON MY SOUL I FELT THIS ALL THE WAY TO MY TOES, the smut is gewwwd and the fluff is amazing ughhh, loved it
i´ll float away - ( @ppersonna ) angst, hea. yoongi idol!au. LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW,, THIS IS THEE BEST YOONGI ANGST IN THIS WHOLE SITE, POINT BLANK PERIOD, TRUST. a wHOLE 2020 banger. It has STRONG topics so read the warnings
belly bulge -( @euphoricfilter ) bf!joon ,,,,,do you even have to ask what this is about?, ITS A LOT GOING ONNNNNN, talking about big beeffy thick wide strong bear built namjoon and his big ol dicc, who wouldnt like this??, he jerks himself off throught your stomach...
forg_tful - ( @joon4eva ) namjoon. established relationship, angstt, fluff, this one makes me cry every tIMEEEE, he forgets something important for the 2394823948th time so reader thinks he just doesn´t care, he doesn´t like being away from her :((((, but he owns it up bc he is a grown mature emotionally stable man, we love it
split - ( @sombreboy ) smut, snake hybrid!jimin, he has a fORKED tongue and TWO cocks!!!! :D NOW THIS, i remember reading it a long time ago and thinking it was the best hybrid!jimin fic out there, i´ve read about him being a cat, a dog, etc but a SNAKE??? now that´s new, loved it
love language - ( @rmnamjoons ) soulmate au, mute!reader, non idol!joon. THE FLUFF IS BEAUTIFULLLLLLL, i love joons pov before meeting her, and the day the meet???? i died, it was so cute
trust me - ( @bbangtan-ddaeng ) ANGSTTTT YESSS, and also? NO HEA. idol!namjoon . he thinks you cheated on him. ITSS GEWWWDD pls read pt. 2 as well. matter fact, just go ahead and read EEEEVERY piece of work of her´s, it´s an angst fest.
faded love - ( @jamaisjoons ) angst, fluff, cheating husband!jimin, ceo!jimin. "he doesn’t need to say it. because you can feel your husband, park jimin, falling out of love with you." ANGST FESSSTTTT, another one for my personal collection, i love this sm
let love be enough - ( @jingabitch ) ex-husband!tae, cheater!tae, divorce au, you meet again after 20 years on your daughter´s wedding. YUPPP this is an angst fest right here, probably my favorite tae angsty fic out there, i LOVE IT
the curse of a crush - ( @army-author ) fluff, supernatural au, down bad witch!taehyung, witch!reader, he´s so in love with you he thinks you´ve cursed him with a love potion, SO CUTEEE
night after night - ( @brown-bi-beautiful ) smut, angst, crack, fluff, semi-retired fuckboy jk, red flag jk, stalker jk, break up au, lovers to exes to lovers, he fucked around and found out so he is FREAKING ouT, also he is beggING okk.. we love that, he also has a Harley bc he is bad boy™, they make up anyways bc he is pussy whipped.. or in love, whatevs you wanna call it
you good?? - ( @mono-moonchilds ) drabble, smut, "what if you gave jungkook head?" is righT bc i´ve been thinking about it for a min!!! he is mean ok yall know he is a brat buT, the head is too good to do all that, the man was shaKINg for godssakeee, so good he had to answer with a thumbs up bc reader drained him fr, left him so brain dead he couldn´t even speak
crave you - ( @7deadlysinsfics ) idol!jk, crack, smut, fluff, hispanic choreographer reader, texting, taejikook, jk is HORNY but he´s a softie too, he´s got a big big fat crush, strenght kink bc we all know he can throw her around like a ragdoll
“Jungkook comes home from a mission only to find out that his father sent you on The Path – a test of strength which will kill omegas such as yourself without mercy. This is a story of loss, true mates always finding together and a son finally standing up against his cruel father.”
Pairing: Alpha!Jungkook x f. omega!Reader
Genre: Angst, Hurt & Comfort, Werewolf!AU, Found Family!AU, Romance, Smut
Warnings: 98% of this is in Jungkook's POV, so much plot, heavy themes of loss & grief, knowing that the grief will always be part of one, potential loss of her and it fucking breaks him, his dad is abusive and Kook finally had enough, he is indeed the True Alpha omfg, this story will have you weeping and sobbing but also smiling and panting, Jungkook is THE best character omfg i love him so much, having the “kids? yes or no?” conversation but pregnancy/parenthood etc. is not gonna happen, just the conversation yk, scenting for comfort, so many hugs and so much love <3, FOUND FAMILY, they’re so right for each other, they’re so gentle and loving with each other, you will get angst and pain and closure in the first part and then very horny smut and fluff in the second part fdsafj, the next warnings are for the smut: Dom in love!Kook, sub in love!Reader, lingerie kink, how is this so soft and yet so hot? because it’s sex with feelings <3, body worship, gentle marking, tears, so much kissing and touching and being tender <3, hand holding, lots of possessive talk, hair pulling (m.receicing), oral sex (f.receiving), rimjob & massage, pussy eating premium, vaginal fingering, nipple licking & sucking, she leaks omega juice ;), sexual scenting, cowgirl at first and then passionate missionary, she is not very good at being at top please her subby heart <3, he takes such great care of her :(, he hugs her as he is inside, he has a big dick, creampies, breeding for the sake of being each other’s one, this is the love makingstes love making these two did as of now, omfg they're so in love!, loving aftercare
Wordcount: 19.2k
a/n: to anyone who is just here for the smut, i don't apologise. you will get the angsty plot because it is needed. OMFG this genuinely made me ugly cry at some parts. omfg i forgot how heartbreakingly fun it is to write angst. this story really had everything i love as a writer. angst and pain and moments of victory and love and adoring smut and :( AH! i’m so in love with this universe and with this jungkook, i don’t think i’ll ever be normal again 🖤
Jungkook comes home to an empty house. He was gone for three days and four nights. Another one of his father’s missions. It left him feeling drained and the thought of coming home to you was the only thing keeping him going. He thought of your warmth, your scent, your embrace and soft skin during his lonely nights, wishing for nothing else but to be close to you.
And now he is home.
And you are gone.
You don’t answer the phone, you don’t read your texts, you don’t respond when he calls your name. You are nowhere to be found, scent faded from the air. It is as if you never even existed.
Jungkook feels sick in the stomach as he hurries to your parents’ house. He hopes that you are there. That maybe you just forgot to charge your phone as you left for a visit. Otherwise he would lose his mind.
Your mother opens the door.
“Oh”, she chokes out and falls around Jungkook’s neck, sobbing. The grief in her scent hits him punishingly.
“What happened?” Jungkook almost yells, trying to comfort your mother despite his body wanting to give up.
The rest of your family has gathered behind her by now. The scent of grief and fear soaks the entire house.
“Please, what happened?”
“He send her on the Path. My ___, my little girl, she isn’t going to survive this.”
“The Path? Don’t tell me this is real.”
Your mother sobs harder. Your little sister weeps as well. Your father manages to speak through his tears.
“They came for her two nights ago. He said that it was necessary for the Alpha’s mate to fulfil the rituals.” Your father snarls his next words. “She is going to die because she bonded with you.”
“No. No, this isn’t true. I will fix this.”
Jungkook wiggles out your mother’s embrace. His hands are shaking but he tries to hide it. His emotions are all over the place. Fear. Guilt. Worry. And anger. So much fucking anger.
“Please I beg you, Jungkook, save my little girl”, your mother begs, clutching his hands. Her hands are shaking more than Jungkook’s, her eyes plead with him for your life.
“I will save her. She’s everything to me. I have to go.”
“Where to?”
“To fix what wasn’t his’ to ruin.”
-------
The public gathering hall is busy today. A banquet. Most of the pack is present. Chattering quiets down as Jungkook storms past them. Your family follows him not far behind.
The door to his father’s throne room falls open loudly. The music and conversations instantly grow silent. Nervous murmurs go through the hall.
“Have you gone insane?!” Jungkook roars, filling the entire room with his presence.
“Jungkook. Son. You aren’t supposed to be back yet. Have you taken care of what I asked you to take care of?” his father greets him, voice contorted from wine. He seems jolly, having conversed with a few of his trusted people. As if he was celebrating a long awaited victory.
Within seconds after Jungkook’s arrival, his father is on the ground as Jungkook lands a punishing fist on his face. His father flies a good five meters before he bounces on the ground.
The room vibrates in screams of horror and shock. Then silence follows. His father is too flabbergasted to react.
“You sent ___ on the Path? Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Jungkook has never screamed as he screams right now.
His father gains his composure, crawling back to his throne with the help of a few pack members. He is embarrassed, but tries to mask it with anger. His face is still bleeding.
“It was about time that she went. She is your mate now.”
“She is supposed to be one of our nurturers! The Path is for future warriors! She doesn’t need to pass the fucking maturity ritual! She isn’t a fighter!”
“It doesn’t matter! We will see if she is meant to be a fighter or not.”
“It’s going to kill her!”
His father stays silent which angers Jungkook even more. He screams with his fangs bared.
“I love her! Isn’t this enough? To know that your son loves her?”
“You aren’t in love, son.”
“Don’t tell me what I feel! You have no idea what I feel. Or what love is! You give no shits about me. I’m your son but I’m a stranger to you and now you are going to take away the only happiness I have! Why do you hate me so much?”
“You do not talk to me like this”, his father tries to start his usual shit again, but Jungkook isn’t having it tonight.
“Shut the fuck up!” he roars, silencing the entire room with it. Even his father, who for the first time in Jungkook’s life actually listens. He listens. Like someone who is under the influence of his Alpha’s voice. Jungkook isn’t aware of what he did yet. Blinded by anger, hurt and worry he cannot see the change in the pack dynamics. And how everyone seems to hold their breath as they watch their supposed Alpha lose his voice under the influence of Jungkook. The wish for Jungkook to step up has been present in many, but to watch it truly happening so naturally is mind blowing.
“You are going to step down once I come back!” Jungkook yells at his father, pointing his finger at him, “you aren’t fit to be our Alpha anymore!”
His father panics.
“You do not know me! I am fit enough to rule!”
“You sent one of our nurtures to the maturity rituals! You sent her to certain death! She’s supposed to be under your protection! You’re her Alpha. Your job is to keep our nurturers safe!” Jungkook’s voice almost ruptures at this point. He never screamed as loud before.
His father is quiet.
“You went too far! I’m done playing nice and I’m done listening to your bullshit! You are unfit to lead the pack! You’ve been unfit for many years!”
His father tries to intervene, but Jungkook gives him no chance.
“You are going to give up the leadership once I’m back. Doesn’t matter how much you protest, I will make sure that you do. And if I find out that you hurt my pack in retaliation, I will kill you”, Jungkook spits with deathly seriousness and turns to leave.
His father shakes out of his shocked trance, clutching the throne in panic. The effects of Jungkook’s voice are still shaking him. He cannot take the reality of the situation, now lashing out in his last attempt to keep control.
“You do not get to walk away from this conversation, Jungkook!”
“You’re not my Alpha anymore”, Jungkook says without looking back and slams the door closed behind him.
“You should have died in your mother’s stead!”
-------
Two days. That’s how big your lead is. Two fucking days.
A path up a mountain may sound like something easy to do, but it is not. The paths of maturity are cruel. Leading up a mountain with no rest stops or offers for help, it really tests the will to survive of whoever walks them. It is steep at parts, steep enough that climbing knowledge was necessary. There are parts where one must cross a wild river on nothing but slippery stones. But the worst part comes two days into the trial. A sky bridge reaching between two mountains. Every second plank of the bridge was missing on purpose and the distance between each plank was wide enough that many fell to their deaths this way.
And if the climb itself isn’t bearing danger, it is the environment around it. The mountain is crawling with monsters and werewolf hunters. Going there without fighting experience means certain death. And you have been out there for two days.
Jungkook tries not to let the tears blur his visions as he runs along the path. He left his human form behind the moment he stepped out of the community hall, running his paws sore to catch up with you as quickly as possible.
The scents are overwhelming to him, but none of them is yours. He stops once he caught up with half a day. He left town an hour ago. He can barely breathe, even in wolf form he tastes blood, and yet he still manages to let out a howl. Loud and filled with pain, it echoes through the valley. The effects of it ripple through town even all the way down the foot of the mountain.
Jungkook receives pained howls in answer. They are distant, but not yours. Deeper into the forest. He needs to go deeper.
He runs in with monsters, switching between his wolf and human form smoothly as he rips through them. He feels nothing as he does. Just fear. Fear that he is already too late. If he runs in with enemies here, does this mean that they won against you? There are no signs of a fight anywhere. He can’t decide if this worries him more or if it comforts him. No traces of a fight but also no traces of your blood. Maybe they weren’t here when you came through. Jungkook climbs the first wall within minutes, stopping to howl once atop. The howls of his pack are little whispers in the wind by now, but no sound of you.
Jungkook curses, switching into his human form to scream your name on top of his lungs.
It’s been three hours since he left town and it is getting dark. He fears that you might not survive another night out here.
“Please mama!” Jungkook screams at the sky, face hot in tears, “please give me a sign that she’s alive! Please mama, please!”
The sky rumbles in thunder.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip, drip.
Drip, drip, drip.
Rain starts pouring down on him. Lightning strikes the very crown of the mountain just as Jungkook screams into the sky as his chest bursts in relief.
“You’re here right now, aren’t you? You’re looking out for her aren’t you, mama?”
The sky pours its heart out as Jungkook cries with it, body stretched as far as possible to reach what can never be reached.
“Help me, please! I can’t find her.” He hits his own chest, “I love her so much, mama. Please help me, mama. Please, I need you.”
The sky roars, sending blinding lightning east into the forest of him. Jungkook screams in emotion, feeling painfully overwhelmed by the situation. His mother is guiding him. At least this is what it feels like. His mama is with him. Jungkook could wail but he knows that this wasn’t the time. He has to go where the lightning hit the ground. The stench of burning wood guides him. He manoeuvres the dark forest skilfully, trying to call for you with howls which you don’t answer.
He can see the fire. One of the trees. The lightning split it in half. The rain actively kills the fire, preventing it from spreading.
Jungkook looks around panickedly, jumping and running around the area. You should be here. His mother guided him here. You should be here.
But you aren’t.
He was a fool. He trusted the ways of the environment to be something more. He trusted nature to be his mother. But his mother is dead. She has been dead for years. He was a fool for thinking that she was helping him.
Just as he was a fool for hoping that you were still alive. The mountain took you and now he is truly alone. You will never get a proper burial which means that you will never find your way into the hall of your ancestors. Even in death he won’t see you again. He is truly alone.
Jungkook howls louder than the roaring thunder, pouring his entire pain into it.
He is too far gone from the pack to hear their answers. Or for them to hear his lonely song.
He is truly alone. Just as you were when you died, scared, hungry and hurt.
The mountain shakes in heartbreak as Jungkook sings his song of grief. The sky cries harder for him, showing him its pity with lightning.
The mountain is bright for a good second, showing him everything.
He saw something.
Not far from where he stands. Jungkook runs to it, changing into his human form mid run which ends in him falling to his hands and knees those last few inches. He cuts his palms and bruises his knees, but doesn’t feel it.
He found your body. A huge branch covers your legs. It must have broken in the storm.
“___! No, ___! Please be alive!” He throws the branch off you and picks you up to flip you.
Your body flops lifelessly, your eyes are closed and your mouth agape.
“Please don’t do this to me. Please I can’t find your corpse. Please”, he begs you, wiping the dirt from your face to search for any signs of life. His hands are shaking.
“Please baby, please wake up. Please”, he begs, pulling your chest against his ear. His ears are ringing so loudly that he can’t hear your pulse.
He forces himself to calm down by taking deep breaths. Nothing. Just ringing. Jungkook breathes in. Breathes out. In. out.
“Please, be alive please.”
In. Out. In. Out.
“Please, I can’t lose you.”
In. Out. In.
Tudun. Tudun. Tudun.
Your pulse. He can finally hear it. It’s there. Your pulse is there.
Jungkook sobs and laughs at the same time, hugging you against him.
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” He doesn’t know who he is thanking but he knows that he never meant it more.
“She’s alive! Mama, she’s alive! I found her! Thank you, mama! Thank you!”
And he also knows that he needs to act fast. He can’t stay here. The storm is picking up. If he stays here, a fallen tree will take both of you out.
Jungkook knows this path and he has enough clarity left to know where it will be safe to hide from the storm. He carries you to safety, talking to you and hoping that it will soak into your subconscious.
“You’re safe. I’m here now. Everything’s over.”
There is a small cave not far from the path. It is sheltered from the rain and his equipment from his last climb is still there. Jungkook lies you down on the thin mattress and tugs you in.
“You’re safe now. I’m here. Please hold on. I’m here now, okay? I’m here.”
He forces his tears down. Not now.
“Please fight for me, please.”
He leans down and kisses your cold forehead, caressing the side of your head at the same time.
“Fuck, you’re freezing. Don’t worry, I’m going to warm you.”
He works quickly to get a fire set up and started. He works carefully to get you and him out of your wet clothes, checking for wounds as he undresses you. Except for a few scratches and broken nails, you seem okay. The branch didn’t damage you. Jungkook swears that he wants to cry again, but doesn’t because he can’t get emotional right now.
Not when you are still so cold. Hypothermia is lethal to a lot of mammals and werewolves are no exceptions. As a matter of fact, it might be even more lethal for them than for other species because werewolves have a naturally higher body temperature and having it drop rapidly is dangerous. And Jungkook has no idea how long you have been freezing already. What if he already comes too late?
He puts another blanket on top of you and makes sure that it covers all of you. You lie closer to the fire. He climbs under the covers with you, pulling you against his bared body. Your skin hurts as it melts with his’ because of how frozen you are.
“You’re so cold, holy fuck. Please don’t let it be too late, please”, he buries his face in the crook of your neck while he presses his body closer in hopes of transferring his heat to you. Your scent is barely present, a reminder that you were barely alive. “I can’t lose you like this. I didn’t even get to grow old with you. I wanna grow old with you, ___. Please let’s grow old together, please.”
It has been six hours since he left town. The aches of his insane run finally catch up with him. Everything hurts. He abused his paws enough that even his human palms ache and bleed. The soles of his feet feel on fire. Everything hurts, but nothing compares to the pain in his chest as he considers the possibility of losing you. He doesn’t want to think about it, but it still happens. He thinks of how it would be if you died in his arms. He imagines your funeral. How it would be to carry your dead body back to town. How it would be to hand you over to your family. How it would be to look into his father’s eyes and see the victory upon breaking him.
And then he thinks of how it was when he buried his mom. How it was to see her dead body. How it was to say goodbye eventhough he didn’t want to say goodbye.
How it was to sit by her grave each day and wish for her to suddenly appear behind him. How it was to lie awake in bed wishing for the reset button to be a real thing just so he can reset his life back to the moment she left so he could undo it.
And he imagines how it will be the same when you are gone. And the grief never hurt as much as it does right now. And Jungkook cries. He cries into the crook of your neck because he cannot hold it in anymore.
-------
It has been eight hours since Jungkook left town. Jungkook isn’t aware of this yet. Because he has been crying.
He still is.
Then there is a hand atop his hand, which wasn’t there before.
Jungkook lifts his head in a flinch. Your eyes are still closed, nothing seemed to have changed and yet everything did.
Your hand is atop his hand. You moved. Jungkook flips his hand to intertwine fingers. You don’t squeeze him back, but your fingers twitch as you hold his hand.
“___ my love, oh ___”, he croaks, feeling overwhelmed in relief. You are moving.
Jungkook cries. He cries as he hugs you closer. And he cries until sleep enslaves him.
-------
It has been sixteen hours since Jungkook left town. Stress and anxiety wakes him. The rain stopped. Sunshine enters the cave. The scent of wet soil fills the air.
It feels like a dream until reality sets in. This is a nightmare. He fell asleep. He shouldn’t have. Not when your life was on the line.
“No please”, he gasps and props himself up on his elbow.
You are facing him.
His heart stops.
Your eyes are open. You can barely keep them open, but they are open. Your eyes are open.
“___!” He sits up, pulling you with him by cradling your cheeks. Sudden awe overcomes him afterwards. He barely dares to hold you, caressing your cheeks as if you were made of glass.
“Is this real?” he whispers, eyes racing between yours.
“I don’t know. I hope it is. I can’t do this anymore, Koo.”
“___”, he presses out, resting his forehead against, “oh your voice”, he squeezes his eyes shut, “say something again.”
“Jungkook, I love you.”
He sobs softly.
“I love you too.”
He hugs you against him, holding you with such urgency that nothing could manage to claw you from him again.
Reality finally sinks in for you too. This isn’t the last dream you have before you finally die. This is real. He actually exists. He came to save you.
You sob and melt into him.
“You’re actually here.”
“I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
“You came to save me.”
“I did. You’re safe. And alive. You’re fucking alive.”
“Koo please don’t ever leave me for so long again.”
“I promise. My love, oh, my everything.”
You and he hug each other for a long time this morning. All while the sun slowly wakes up and kisses the remnants of rain goodbye. All while the light entering the cave dances on the ground. And all while the last glowing embers of a fire past fall asleep.
You clean up with what little Jungkook has in this cave while he hunts for food. You were so hungry. And he couldn’t watch you starve. So he left after making you promise him that you wouldn’t leave again.
-------
It has been eighteen hours since he left town when he comes back from his hunt. He enters the cave with a tight chest, imagining the worst. That he just hallucinated you. That you never existed. That you are gone. Or that you were real, but somehow died while he was gone.
He enters the cave feeling anxious, but instantly melts upon laying eyes on you. You are lying curled up on the blanket, looking exhausted but alive. Your ears twitch as they pick up his footsteps, eyes opening a second later.
“You’re back”, you say, getting to your feet.
Jungkook drops the deer and hurries to you, taking you into his arms like only a lover could.
“Hey ___, hey”, he says, burying his nose in the crook of your neck. Your scent surrounds him, so alive and strong.
“Hey”, you whisper, eyes closed and heart racing. He hugs you as if he missed you for decades. You need it this morning.
“You’re actually real, right?”
“Yeah, I’m real.”
He steps back, cradling your face so he can kiss it. It ends up making you giggle and hold his wrists. Your thumbs pick up his racing pulse.
“It tickles”, you giggle.
“Get used to it. I will be glued to you from now on.”
You snicker. Jungkook smiles and straightens up, gazing at you with adoring eyes.
“I got breakfast. I know it’s not what I normally get you but-”
“It’s perfect. Thank you so much.”
“Should we share it outside? Where the sunlight is warm?”
“Yes.”
And so you and Jungkook share breakfast in your wolf forms, digesting it by cuddling in front of the cave where the sunlight is warmest. Of course still in your wolf forms and it makes you realise just how safe you feel in his presence. Even as wolves, Jungkook is a lot bigger than you. It is an easy thing for him to completely shield you from the world as he keeps you safe and grooms you carefully. You groom him back, hoping that his sore paws find healing through your licks.
You were never like this with anyone before. Neither was Jungkook. Being wolves together is a very intimate state to share. Not many couples take this step because it is rare to reach this level of intimacy. You had good partners before Jungkook. You all loved them in their own ways and yet you could have never imagined being wolves together with any of them. It feels so goddamn right to do with Jungkook. And you realise that even when your bodies change, your hearts still remain the same.
-------
It has been twenty four hours since Jungkook left town when you decide that it is finally time to start your journey home. He finishes the last touches in his shelter to make sure that it was ready for when he needs it next. You are outside, looking up at the mountain.
“Are you ready to leave?” he asks.
“I want to finish the path”, you confess and shift your eyes to him.
“What? No. No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “No, I won’t allow it.”
“But I want to.”
“It doesn’t matter what you want. I’m not gonna let you go on a suicide mission.”
“I have to.”
“You don’t, ___.”
“Yes I do, Jungkook. I’m done feeling like I’m not right for you.”
Jungkook closes the distance, cupping your face and making you look at him this way. His eyes are widened in urgency.
“I hate when you talk like this. Do you understand? Don’t talk like this. Don’t. You’re right for me.”
“No, I’m not. You’re such a perfect werewolf and I’m…normal. I don’t have the pack piercings or the pack tattoos. I’m just there. I didn’t even finish the rituals.”
“You’re a nurturer. You are not supposed to walk the path. Nobody expects you to do what you aren’t meant to do.”
“But your father.”
“My father has no power anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“It means that I’m done watching him ruin My pack. I told him to step down once I’m back. He won’t be the True Alpha anymore when we return.”
“Holy fuck, you did?”
“I did and I regret nothing. My father’s not my family anymore. He went too far when he sent you on the path. I’m better off without him.”
“Jungkook, oh my god”, you cup his face, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. It was about time that I stepped up. He is unfit to be Alpha. I can’t let him hurt my pack any longer.”
“And you think that he will willingly step down?”
“If he has any sense of honour, he will. If not, I will make him.”
“But you could kill-”
“I know. I’m prepared to do whatever I need to do to keep the pack safe.”
“Oh my god, Koo. I’m so sorry, this is so awful”, you croak and pull him down for a hug. You nuzzle your nose against his scent spot to spread your comforting scent instinctively.
Jungkook closes his eyes, melting in relief. This is his home. This right here.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you. It’s not gonna be easy but I…honestly, I’m scared shitless. He’s still my dad. I don’t wanna fucking kill my own dad.”
“Of course you don’t and I hope that you won’t have to. You’re right, he isn’t fit to be Alpha anymore, but I also don’t want him to die for it.”
“Me neither. I just want him to step down and somehow become normal again in his retirement. Am I a hopeful idiot for wanting this?”
“No, you’re not. You’re a son who just wants a normal dad.”
“I do. I really do.” He holds you closer. “I mean my mum loved him and he loved me too. In the past, long ago... I just… I want him to see his faults and be normal.”
“You’re not alone in this, Koo. Many people feel like you feel and I’m here for you. You can rant and cry as much as you need, I’m here.”
“I know. I’m so glad that you are.”
He takes a step back, running his hands down your arms until he can intertwine fingers with you.
“I’m sorry for before”, he says.
“What do you mean?”
“I got a little controlling. I’m sorry that you had to see me this way. The thought of losing you to the path just-” He shakes his head. “I can’t even think about it.”
“God, Koo.”
“Last night was without a doubt the second worst night of my life. The night after I lost my mama comes first, but last night? I thought that I lost you too and I can’t go through this.”
“I hear you. I’m sorry for putting you through all of this. I thought that I had no choice but to go. I thought that I could handle it, but I couldn’t and I’m…”
“Hey, don’t cry”, he soothes you in a soft voice, wiping your tears, “you’re okay. You’re an omega and you said being a nurturer is in your blood. You’re not weak for struggling at something you’re not meant to do.”
You listen to him with great attention, looking into his eyes because his eyes really comfort you. There is always so much love in them.
“Please stop beating yourself up about it. I really ask you to stop seeing yourself so unworthy, please.”
“I’ll try.”
“Good. Because you’re perfect in my eyes. I wanna grow old with you. I wanna spend decades by your side, ___. I wanna laugh and cry and laugh some more with you. And if you ever feel ready, I wanna have pups with you and be a great father to them. I wanna be a grandfather with you and maybe even a great grandfather. I see my future with you, ___.”
“Oh”, you let out and fall around his neck.
Jungkook hugs you back tightly, engulfing you in his warm embrace fully.
“But it’s also totally okay if you don’t want pups of our own. We can be the cool aunt and uncle”, he adds just in case.
You laugh into his chest, pulling him closer. God, you were so stupid for ever going on this journey. His father made it seem as if this was the only way to prove your worth and yet all this time, Jungkook already saw you as perfect.
You raise your head, cradling his cheeks.
“I’m so in love with you, Jeon Jungkook.”
“Wow, you…I’m in love with you too, Jeon ___.”
You snicker, “I think this has such a nice ring to it.”
“It totally has.”
You and he meet eyes.
“So what now?” you ask.
“Now, I’m taking you back to town. It’s gonna take us a long time. Come on, let’s go.”
“Koo, wait.”
“Yes?”
“Is there really no way for me to finish the path?”
Jungkook says your name in disappointment, sagging his shoulders.
“I’m just asking. Can I seriously not do it? Even with you by my side?”
Jungkook first learned instinct is to explode in anger. That’s what his father always did. But he doesn’t, instead he takes a deep breath to regulate himself.
“Why do you want to finish it?” he asks in a calm voice.
“Because I could be the first nurturer to ever finish it”, you whisper shyly. You lower your eyes, “and I could tell others what the path looks like.”
“So you want to know how it looks?”
You nod your head.
“Alright, look”, he says and turns you gently. He back hugs you with one arm around your waist and rests his chin on your shoulder. He uses his other arm to point at the different parts of the mountain.
“Around one hour from here, there will be another steep climb, followed by a very tense forest. Huge crab spiders like to nest in it. Their sting is even fatal to a werewolf.” he kisses your neck gently, speaking in a soft voice, “and then you have to walk half a day along very steep serpentines until they end at a cliff.”
“A cliff?”
“Yes, a cliff. Between two mountains. A bridge connects them.”
“But a bridge doesn’t sound so scary.”
“Except each second blank is missing on purpose and the distances are far enough that even I could fall through it.”
“Why would anyone make this? That’s insane.”
“It is.” He kisses the other side of your neck right on your scent spot.
You instantly sigh and drop your head against his chest. This right here is what being loved feels like. This is home.
“I feel like you’re being unfair”, you get out, shivering.
“I’m just trying to take you on a tour of the path. If you manage to cross the bridge, you’ll have to climb one more high wall and then you will have reached the peak. Up there, the oxygen is so thin that you can barely stand. And you have to do all of this again when you climb down. Climb and jump and fight.”
“What’s up there? At the peak?” you crane your neck to look at him. “I always wondered.”
“Rocks and stone and a wooden cross. And the ritual tree you have to get a cone from.”
“Is it really leaking red resin? Like blood?”
“It is.”
“Wow. What else?”
“There’s bodies.”
“What?”
“Yeah, bodies of wolves which died of lack of oxygen or exhaustion or starvation or hypothermia. Because the air is thin and cold, it takes a lot longer for the rot to set in, so most of them are still perfectly intact even after years of being dead.”
“I didn’t know that. Oh my god”, you confess and turn in his arms to seek comfort in his chest, “I heard enough. I want to go home. It’s so scary and sad.”
“Okay”, he whispers and kisses the crown of your head, rubbing your back, “let’s get you home, babygirl. Yes?”
“Yes, please take me home.”
You hold his hand very tightly as you and he begin your descent.
“And you had to see this when you were only eighteen?” you ask him.
“Yeah, I did.”
“Koo, I’m so sorry. How are you handling it?”
“I guess. I never even asked myself this question. It’s sad. Those wolves could have lived a good life if our traditions weren’t so fucked. Maybe they wouldn’t have become warriors but there are so many other fields they could have flourished in. It’s sad.”
“It is. Oh Koo, I’m so sad for them. Can we get them somehow? Help them get proper burials?”
“We can’t. It would take too many people to get them and the risk of losing more people to the path is too high. They’re safer up there.”
“It’s so sad. Now I’m really sad.”
“I know, I’m sorry”, he says and pulls you close until he can drape his arm over your shoulder. “Let’s watch a funny movie when we’re home.”
“Yeah, I’d like that a lot. Koo, do want to be wolves for a while? It was so nice to be free with you.”
“I’d like this a lot. It’s easier as wolves anyway”, Jungkook says and so you and he turn back into wolves to run through the forest side by side.
-------
It has been fifty eight hours since Jungkook left the pack. They welcome you and him by the gate as if they waited for your safe return.
You greet each person with a smile and some sort of innocent touch, but you can’t really concentrate.
“Where’s my family? Where are they?” All you could imagine as you were cold and alone was the Alpha exiling your family or hurting them. You can’t feel at home until you know that they are safe.
“___! My baby, oh my little girl!” Your mother fights her way through the crowd, almost knocking you off your feet from how aggressively she hugs you.
“Mama”, you press out and instantly breaking into tears.
“Praise the moon, you are safe! My little girl is safe. I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, mama.”
“Princess. My little girl”, your father takes you and your mother into his arms, sobbing in relief. “I’m so glad. I’m so glad.”
“I love you, dad.”
“I love you too.”
Now you are home again, hugging your parents and later your siblings. You are home. Jungkook is nudged between your parents by now, consoling them as much as he bathes in praises.
“You brought our little girl home. More than once you brought her home. How can we ever repay you?”
“Just keep loving her and being good parents to her. It’s all I want. Knowing that whenever she visits you and she leaves her parents home, she does so with a warm feeling in her chest. Just love her right, it’s all I’m asking for.”
“We love her so much. Our little girl.”
“I love her too”, Jungkook says and pulls you into a group hug. Your siblings join as well. Now you are really home.
But Jungkook isn’t allowed to rest yet. Reality settles in not soon after. The memory of how he left town is still brand-new for everyone. They expect him to act, to say something, to keep his promises. He has a duty to fulfil. Talk to his father.
“Should I come with you?”
“No. Stay with your family. I’m gonna be okay.”
You take his hand in front of everyone and kiss his cheek.
“You’re part of my family too.”
He meets your eyes. They are filled with emotion.
“Should I come with you?” you try again, but Jungkook shakes his head.
“Please stay with your family. I have to do this alone.”
“You don’t have to, you know?”
“I know. I want to.”
“Okay, then…good luck and I love you no matter what happens.”
His eyes soften. He cups your face and kisses your forehead in front of everyone to see. He even stubs noses with you, which is a very loving gesture for wolves.
“I love you too. So goddamn much”, he whispers, voice slightly shaky in emotions, and steps back. He straightens his back and scans his eyes over the pack.
They expect him to act and speak like the leader he wants to be. And so Jungkook steps up. He acts a leader.
“I know what everyone is thinking. Here he is after causing a scene. I know that some of you are probably unhappy with how I handled the situation and I know that some are happy that I did what I did. The truth is however that things are going to change from now on. The pack matters to me, every single one of you matters to me and I refuse to let the greed of one man ruin it.”
There is a rock not far from where he stands on which he could easily stand and make himself taller than the rest. He could tower over the pack, but he doesn’t. He stays eye to eye with them.
“You all know how Alphas love to make promises only to break them, so I’m going to keep my own promises short. I promise to have an open ear for each of you. I promise to spend my energy on creating community not division. And goddamn, I promise to end these greedy, pointless fights with other packs. And if the fight comes to us? I’ll be the first on out there to keep you safe, to bloody fight for you. That’s what I promise you. Being heard, community and protection!”
He looks at each and every single part of the pack, giving a feeling that what he says is directed at the person and not the mop. And as he stands, surrounded by the people he will lead from now on, after finishing his speech, the pack is silent. Not in disgust, but in pure awe. It only lasts for a second but it feels like eternity to Jungkook. Is this it? Are they not going to accept him as his Alpha?
Taehyung, one of his best friends and a beta, steps forward and takes Jungkook’s hand by his wrist just to stretch it high into the air.
“To Jungkook!” he yells and howls.
The pack finally breaks from its awed trance, joining Taehyung’s howls loudly. You join as well, watching with tears in your eyes as Jungkook gets the appreciation he deserves. Look at him. Look at him, surrounded by his pack, eye to eye and yet shining so much brighter than the rest. His eyes are widened in disbelief and his lips are parted because he can’t believe that these loud howls are for him.
But why shouldn’t they be? He sacrificed so much for the pack. He sacrificed his childhood, his adolescence and his innocence. He gave up the knowledge of clean hands just so his father’s enemies wouldn’t rip the pack to shreds. He lost the sweet blissfulness about true pain as he took the punishing blows of his father and his enemies instead of the pack. Over and over again, he cleaned up the messes, kept the people safe and pushed his own happiness aside just to make sure others have it better than he ever did. Hell, he wasn’t even allowed to cry at his own mother’s funeral. And this right now is what he deserves.
He deserves the appreciation, he deserves the howls. He fucking deserves to know that his efforts are appreciated and that he will always be this pack’s true Alpha. That they have his back just as much as he has theirs.
The howls do not die down as he makes his way to his father’s halls, staying by his side during this difficult time.
-------
He is by your parent’s front door when it is already dark outside. Your little sister opens the door. She is around nine years old and looks at him as if he was the coolest adult she has ever met.
“Hey there”, he greets her.
“Hey”, she murmurs shyly, “___! Jungkook is here!” she yells and runs off giggling.
He chuckles. Children are so funny sometimes. He can see the hallways from where he stands. In the very back, you stick your head out of the kitchen.
“Hey”, you appear in the hallway, making your way to him. “Come in. We’re almost finished.”
“Finished with what?” Jungkook asks, locking the door and taking off his outside clothes.
“Dinner.”
“What?” he breathes out.
You hang his jacket for him and put his shoes next to yours.
“I hope you’re hungry. I told mum what you like and we are making it together.”
Jungkook follows you with his hand in yours, unable to say a single word because he is in shock. He is getting a home cooked meal?
“Everyone, Jungkook is here”, you say into the kitchen, holding his hand oh so tightly.
Your family gives Jungkook welcoming waves as they greet him.
“How did it go with your father? Are you the Alpha now?” your father asks.
“I am.”
“How did he take it? How are you doing, son?”
Jungkook squeezes your hand. You instantly know that this struck a nerve.
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it tonight”, you say.
Your parents understand, nodding their heads.
“Why don’t you show Jungkook your room? Dinner is going to take another fifteen minutes”, your mother says.
“Good idea. Do you want to see my room? The last time you were here, I still played with toys.”
“Yeah, show me”, Jungkook says, following after you as you lead him upstairs.
The paths are familiar to him, these halls have seen him so many times as a child.
Just as he remembers, your room is at the end of the hallway. Your door, once covered in colourful stickers, is slightly ajar. Jungkook tries to take in everything. The sights, the sensations, the scents. Nothing here smells threatening, instead a very deep scent of a safe home soaks the fibres of this house.
Just like he remembers. It was his escapism whenever his father screamed at home. He really would have needed it after his mother died, but father didn’t allow him.
“So here we are. This is my room.”
The last time he was here, your walls were bright pink and your floors were covered in dozens of toys. Your bed was children-sized and the rest of your furniture was castle themed because you were obsessed with playing princess and knight (you were the princess and he had to be the knight).
Nothing of that child-like wonder remained in this room. The walls are painted a soft yellow, the wooden floors are covered in green rugs and the furniture is made of wood and has a modern yet cozy touch to it. The bed also grew exponentially and on the window sill a series of orchids bloom. Remnants of teenage interests are displayed on a shelf, and the last memory of childhood sits on the bed in the form of a teddy bear. But at the core of it, this is an adult’s room.
“I bet it’s weird to be back here when everything is so different”, you say, studying his features. He is tired and exhausted, you can see it clearly.
“Maybe a little.”
You close the distance to him, drawing his eyes to you with a touch.
“Are you okay?” you ask.
“No.”
“Did you have to, you know?”
“No, he’s still alive but…” he shakes his head, “…I should be used to it, but his words still hurt.”
“Oh no, I’m sorry”, you hug him.
Jungkook sinks into your embrace, seeking your scent spot like it was instinct. He closes his eyes, melting close to you. As long as he can smell you, life is manageable.
“I’m here for you.”
“I know.”
“And whatever he called you, it’s not who you are. You are loved so much and you are not a bad person or mean or whatever he said.”
“Thank you”, he chokes out, holding you tighter. Maybe you’re right and his father was wrong. Maybe Jungkook isn’t a selfish son, maybe his mum wouldn’t have been disappointed to see him take the leadership in such ways, maybe he is not a disappointment. Maybe his father was simply his father again.
He exhales shakily, cradling your head.
“You smell so good”, he says against your neck.
“It’s probably because I took a shower. I felt really yucky.”
“No, it’s not that. You smell so good.” Jungkook breaks the hug and stares at you with such intensity that you get nervous. He furrows his brows. “I feel like a robot. I just exist tonight”, he confesses, voice heavy.
“I get it. Too much happened. Do you want to take a shower and then wear something cozy? This always helps me feel better.”
“I don’t want to be rude and use your hot water.”
“Why? This is your home too.”
“Oh.” He closes his eyes. “Maybe I’d like a shower then”, he whispers shakily.
“Of course. Follow me, I’ll show you how to use it. We renovated the bathroom since the last time you were here and we got a new shower. Actually, we also got a new sink and new floors and walls. Basically, everything is new.”
“Yeah? That’s cool. Remember when we had to share a tomato juice bath because we hunted a skunk?”
“And it sprayed us? Oh my god yes, I completely forgot about that. My mum was so mad at us. The house reeked of it for two weeks after.”
“Yeah and then she called my mum because you ran out of tomato juice.”
“Remember what they said at the end?”
“That we should never lose our curiosity. Because bad smells can be washed away, but knowledge will never be taken from us again.”
“Yeah. Ah good times.”
You and he share giggles as you reminisce in the memory. His bad day feels far away when he can be like this with you.
“So. Here is a towel and you can start the water there and with this one you can change the temperature. You can use my shower gel and my shampoo”, you explain.
“Okay. Do you have a bag where I can store my clothes?”
“Huh? Just throw them in the hamper. My dad will wash it with the next load.”
“But.”
“No buts, you’re family. It’s okay.” You peck his cheek. “Just feel at home here. Okay?”
He nods his head, chest threatening to burst in emotion.
“Good. I’ll bring you some clothes”, you say and leave the bathroom. Jungkook stands frozen for a while, hearing you scream outside. “Jungkook is showering so nobody enter the bathroom!” to which faints voices from downstairs answer you with “okay”s.
It was so easy for your family to accept him in your home. The very second he stepped foot into this house, he was already part of it. He left fifteen years ago and once he returned, it was as if he never even left. Yes, rooms might have been renovated and toys might have been stored away, but at the core of it nothing changed. The layout is still the same, the scents as well and most importantly, the feelings. It still feels safe to come here.
Jungkook undresses and throws his clothes into the hamper because it is okay for him to do.
Your father will wash them because he is part of the family.
Jungkook steps into the shower and turns the shower on, and he turns up the temperature as high as possible because it was okay for him to use the hot water. He is part of the family.
Jungkook uses your shower gel and your shampoo, and maybe he uses a little bit too much but he knows that it’s okay to do. Because he is part of the family.
Tears run down his cheeks and he lets them. Water washes them away. He thought that after today, he truly lost his family. That he will never know having a “parent house” again, that he won’t know “coming over because he wants to feel like a son again”, that having somewhere where he will always be pampered was erased for him. But it is not.
Jungkook set foot into your home and became part of it. He has somewhere he can feel like a son in, somewhere where he can simply come over to.
The door opens. It doesn’t startle him because he knows that it is you.
“Jungkook?”
“Yes?”
“Can I come in? I’m not looking.”
“Yeah.”
“’I’m putting your clothes here.”
“Yes, okay.”
“Take your time, okay? I’m in my room if you need something.”
“Okay, my love.”
You leave again, filling the bathroom with a lingering feeling that everything will be alright one day. He might hurt tonight, he might hurt tomorrow and the day after that, a week from now, a month, maybe even two, but it will be alright one day. Because he has a family that cares and that means he can heal from everything.
Jungkook cleans the shower after using it and dries himself with the soft towel you laid out. He puts on the clothes you brought him, they must be some of your fathers. They’re just a little too small for him, but he does not mind. He never had a father figure who did not mind sharing his clothes when he needed a new pair. He would accept any kind of rag because they came from a place of care.
Just as he remembers, Jungkook leaves the door open. He enters your bedroom. You are on your bed, but sit up when you see him.
“Oh you look so cute. The shirt is so small on you”, you say as you roll off bed.
“I think my body is starting to change now that I’m the Alpha”, he says, tugging on the shirt. “Do you think that your family minds that my stomach is kinda out?”
You inspect the small strip of exposed skin. He seems even more muscular than he did before. Maybe his body is really settling into his new role.
“No”, you rub his stomach innocently, grinning up at him, “you’re so cute like this.”
He smiles shyly.
“Sit by the bed, I’m drying your hair.”
Jungkook obeys gladly, closing his eyes when you begin to pat him dry. It is so nice to be groomed by you.
“Did you like the shower?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“That’s good. I really hoped that you would.” You nuzzle his scent spot affectionately, lighting up his heart. Afterwards you kiss the nape of his neck, reminding him that he is loved.
Every second with you is like a dream. Jungkook doesn’t want to wake up.
“And how are your hands? Are they still sore?” you ask, patting him behind his ears.
“No, they healed.”
“Good.” You dry the left side of his hair with the towel. “I was never in my wolf form with someone else before you.”
“Me neither.”
Your dry his right side, “it was really nice.”
“Yeah, it was.”
You dry the top of his head, sending shivers down his spine.
Grooming each other is something very loving to do between wolves. Getting pat dry is very healing to receive. Jungkook wants to burn every single second of this current moment into his memory. It will serve as a reminder that bad things aren’t meant to last forever, even if they make him feel like they will.
“Dinner is ready!” your little sister screams from downstairs, interrupting the gentle moment.
“I guess dinner is done. Are you ready?” you ask and climb off bed.
He nods his head, following you with giddy nervousness in his chest.
-------
Your family waits by the dining table, welcoming him with hugs and sweet words. And Jungkook takes the affection as much as he stares at the food in shock.
This looks exactly like the special dinner his mother always made when you came over for dinner. All these years and you remembered it?
“Is this…”
“Your mom’s special dinner? Yes. I know how much you loved it and we wanted to make it for you.”
“To thank you for bringing our ___ home and for giving her happiness”, your mother says.
“And as a cheer me up because what you did today wasn’t easy”, your father adds.
“We cut the vegetables.” “Yeah and stirred the pot.” Your siblings say proudly.
Jungkook is speechless. His chest feels so tight, but not in a bad way. He feels grateful and loved and deeply scared of taking the first bite. But he has to. Your mother is filling his plates and talking about hoping that he will love it.
He has to take that first bite. And so he does. He takes that first bite and suddenly he is nine years old again and his mother ruffles his hair, telling him to eat a lot so he can grow up big and strong. All of a sudden, he tells her about his day on the playground with you. All of a sudden, the smell of her perfume and the sound of her voice is so clear to him that it brings tears to his eyes.
“Sorry”, he presses out and hides his face behind his hand.
“Oh, sweetheart. What’s the matter?” your mother gasps and rubs his shoulders exactly how only a mother can do.
“It tastes like hers”, he whimpers his words, shoulders shaking in silent tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to cry, but this week’s brought up a lot.”
“Oh you, come here sweet boy”, your mother says and hugs him from behind.
Jungkook seeks the motherly comfort instantly, hugging her arm and letting his head sink into the warmth of her chest.
“I miss her so much.”
“Of course you do. She left too soon. It’s unfair what happened to Aera. No child should lose their mother the way you had to”, your mother comforts him with tight hugs and motherly kisses on his head. Just like she did whenever he came over after being yelled at by his father.
Jungkook doesn’t feel embarrassed to cry in front of your family. He was a boy in this house first before he returned as a man. These walls saw him snotty and sniffly after falling in your front yard. These ears heard him whiney and pouty during a childish innocent quarrel about toys. These eyes saw his cheeks wet in tears when his father was harsh and he fled to your house for refuge.
He was a snotty, teary boy in this house first and it is coming back to him now. All these days spent on this exact chair in this exact kitchen as you enjoyed dinner together. He returned. He was so lost for so many years and he finally returned.
“Thank you for being there for me. I felt so lonely ever since mum died”, he gets out.
“Oh, don’t thank us. That’s what family is for, son”, your father says.
“You will always have a mother in me, my boy”, your mother says and steps back to ruffle his hair.
Jungkook won’t ever be without family. He won’t ever be alone.
“I’m so glad that I do”, he gets out squeakily, wiping his eyes.
“Here is a tissue, Kookoo”, your little sister says and smiles shyly.
“Thanks, this is exactly what I needed.” He accepts it, blowing his nose.
Your little brother, he is only five, rubs his knee comfortingly.
“I would be really, really, sad too if my mama died.” He tugs on Jungkook’s pants until the latter lifts him up on his lap. He wipes the tears from his cheeks. “I’m sorry that you lost your mama, but we can share mine. She is the best mama ever.”
“She really is. I’m so grateful to have you all”, he says, taking your hand and letting your brother cuddle into his chest.
“We’re glad too”, you say, eyes filled with love.
Your parents exchange a knowing and giddy look. As if they carried the knowledge of the universe in their hearts.
“How lucky it is.”
“How lucky indeed.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your connection. How lucky it is to find your true mate in your best friend.”
You and Jungkook look at each other in shock, then back at your parents. They seem baffled and confused.
“What do you mean true mate?”
“Don’t tell me that you don’t know.”
“Know what?”
“That you two are true mates.”
“We are?”
“Of course you are.”
“Oh my god”, you gaze at him. He retorts it.
If you and he were alone, it would all be different.
You would be in his arms, getting hugged and kissed, but you aren’t alone and your love still feels so new in front of your parents. And so he leans over and kisses your cheek, giving you a fleeting side hug.
“I’ll hug you better once we’re alone. I feel like we need to be respectful right now”, he says, sending laughter through the room.
-------
Dinner finishes late. He ate a lot and he ate it gladly. Jungkook is in the hallway leading to the kitchen when you return from the toilet. He is looking at the family pictures on the wall, but shifts his eyes to you when you touch his arm.
He opens it and lets you melt into his side, kissing the crown of your head. The crickets sing outside. The overhead lights are turned off for the sake of some fake candles burning on the dresser. It is time to go home, but he does not want to leave yet.
“We should really retake our bonding picture. I look so tense”, you say, pointing at yourself.
“Mhm-hm yeah.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Just thinking about earlier. Sorry, it’s difficult not to.”
“Don’t apologise.” You hug him. “You can feel sad, you’re with family.”
He stares, eyes racing all over your face in disbelief. It doesn’t get easier to accept that he is. He fears to wake up any moment.
“Should we stay a while longer? We could ask if everyone wants to watch a funny movie. What do you think?” you suggest.
“Yes, please.”
Jungkook lets you take his hands and lets you lead him to the living room where the rest of your family is sharing time. Your parents cuddle on the couch and your siblings play on the floor.
The room smells of so much familial love and comfort.
Jungkook finds it so remarkable. After what your older brother did, your family could have crumbled apart. You could have taken his betrayal and the resulting runaway and let it destroy your bond, but you did the very opposite. You stuck together through it, growing even stronger.
“Should we watch a funny movie tonight?” you ask into the room.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” your siblings are instantly on board, jumping around happily.
“Were you not about to leave?” your father asks.
“We were, but our plans changed. Family night sounds nice. Right, Kook?”
He nods his head, squeezing your hand tighter. He hasn’t had family night since his mother died. He feels so much but your siblings rip him out of it as they both grab his clothes and tug.
“You can pick the movie, Jungkook.”
“You have to pick something cool. With dinosaurs.”
“No Dinosaurs, I want austronauts.”
“They’re called astronauts.”
“You’re annoying.”
“No, you’re annoying more.”
“Okay, okay no fighting you two. How about we pick something together and let Jungkook rest tonight? He did a lot of things today”, you step in.
“Yes, alright. But it has to be cool. Not boring like the movies daddy always watches.”
“You will appreciate a good documentary one day”, your dad says, picking up your little brother to attack his face with kisses. Your brother giggles and squeaks, entirely proud about teasing his father.
He settles on his lap afterwards, finding comfort against his father’s chest. No wonder you turned out so wonderful. Jungkook can feel, smell and see how much love your parents have for you and your siblings.
It is good. He is glad that you have a loving family.
You and Jungkook snuggle up on one end of the couch and your sister insists to rest her head against Jungkook’s arm. Obviously, because he is the coolest adult ever. Even cooler than a dinosaur. He doesn’t mind. It is nice to know that children feel safe in his presence. It is a different kind of calm to be such an adult in a children’s life. He stopped having that when his mother died.
It is far into the movie, both your siblings are asleep by now, that a sense of deep comfort finally settles in Jungkook’s chest, like he woke up from a long nightmare. He shifts his eyes from the movie. Your parents share one end of the couch, their young son spread out on their laps. You are snuggled into a blanket, laughing at the jokes and filling the air around you with a happy scent. Your sister is rolled into a small ball, slumbering on the pillow. This is a family so intimately at peace and Jungkook is part of it.
He has a family. He is part of family night. He might have lost his father tonight, but he did not lose family, maybe he even gained more than he lost. He tightens his arm around you, making you glance at him for a second. You seem worried at first until you see the adoration in his eyes, settling deeper into his embrace as a result.
You pull his hand to your lips, placing kisses on his knuckles. Jungkook kisses the crown of your head and rests his cheek against it afterwards, allowing himself to fully sink into the comfort. It is alright. He does not have to fight to stay afloat anymore.
-------
You leave your parents’ house when the clock almost shows midnight. Your mother insists that you take the leftovers.
“So Jungkook can have his mother with him a little longer.”
He carries the little basket of glass containers whilst holding your hand and wishing for those warm feelings in his chest to never fade.
“I’m so glad that we’re walking. I ate so many snacks”, you say, rubbing your happily stuffed tummy.
“Right. I’m glad too. The night’s so nice.”
“Yeah. Can I tell you something my mum said to me when you were upstairs putting my siblings to bed?”
“Yeah, tell me.”
“She said that she knows that we probably already noticed some stuff when we did couple things.”
“Couple things? What are couple things?”
“Like the knotting and the scenting and stuff.”
“Oh my god, you told your mum about my knot?”
“I didn’t and we didn’t even talk about it. She insinuated.”
“Urgh, this is embarrassing”, he whines, throwing his head back.
You snicker, “no it’s not. It’s romantic.”
“How is this romantic? Your mom knows I knotted you. That’s so embarrassing.”
“It’s romantic because she said that the stuff happening is because we’re true mates. Kook, our bodies always knew what we didn’t even notice.”
“Oh.”
He stops on the sidewalk and puts the basket on a strangers’ windowsill.
“What are you? Oh.”
He hugs you. Like he wanted to do when he first found out. Like he did when he found you in the forest. Like he will always do for as long as you let him.
He hugs you like you are his everything, as if he wanted to make sure that you can’t slip from his arms, as if it will always be you for him.
And you hug him back the very same way because it will always be him for you.
True mates. It explains so much and makes it so much sweeter. True mates. With such a title, nobody can ever question your relationship.
“I knew it”, he whispers.
“Knew what?” You whisper too.
“That my feelings for you were so much more than just normal love.” He nuzzles his nose against your neck. “When I thought that I lost you, it was like someone cut out my heart and made me watch. It was like I was suffocating. Now I know why and I’m so glad that it’s you.”
“I’m glad too. If it’s anyone, thank god it’s you. I don’t want anyone but you.”
You and he look at each other. He cups your face, closes the distance for a kiss only to stop.
“Don’t stop”, you whisper, fingers hooked behind the nape of his neck.
“If I kissed you right now, I wouldn’t stop.”
“Then don’t stop.”
“We’re almost home. Come, I wanna kiss you and hold you.”
You let him take your hand and then continue the way home. The basket is on his arm again and he seems just a little more determined to get home.
“By the way, my mum told me something else too.”
“What did she say? Please tell me you didn’t tell her about my rut.”
You laugh, “no, doofus. She said that we werewolves can only procreate when we’re in wolf form. Anything we do as humans is for fun and nothing else. So that means we can take our time and figure out what we want in the future without being scared of an accident.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Me neither. Can you make it a rule to give better sex education in schools? Now that you’re the Alpha and everything.”
He laughs, “this is a really good idea. I’ll put it on my list.”
He pulls you close, draping his arm over your shoulder.
“Figuring it out together sounds nice to me. We’ve still got so much time and if you’re ever ready to give me your answer, I’ll still love you afterwards”, he says.
“Even if?”
“Even if. I love you for you not for what you could potentially give me. Besides, I’m not ready either. I wanna have you all to myself for a while.”
You snuggle into him. “I like this.”
“Me too. Especially when it means that we can continue being horny without risks.”
You laugh, “this is indeed a very good point.”
“Is it bad that all I think about is being with you right now?”
“No, I’m thinking the same thing. I miss you like crazy.”
“Me too. I want to hold you as you fall asleep. I miss you so much.”
“If you keep talking like this, I might actually race you home.”
He grins, “fine, if you’re asking for it. Last to get home is a stinky loser”, he says and sets off, laughing.
“I wasn’t serious! Oh my god, wait for me!” you call after him and start running, cackling and squealing.
It is impossible to win against him. He welcomes you with open arms, lifting you off your feet and using the momentum to twirl with you. Your laughter and squeals fill the streets.
Jungkook laughs with you, setting you down afterwards to rub noses. He cradles your hands against his chest, swaying from side to side.
“I love you”, he whispers, gazing at you despite the close proximity.
“I love you too”, you breathe, heart racing like crazy.
“You’re home again, baby.”
“I am and I’m a stinky loser?”
He laughs, “yeah, you are.”
“Wow okay, I thought you would at least say that I’m not.”
“No, this is where the romance ends. You’re a stinky loser.”
“Shut up”, you whine, nudging his chest.
Jungkook snickers mischievously, sweeping you off your feet a second later.
“Hey! What are you doing?”
“Carrying you. If I don’t, I might try to reach for the stars.”
-------
Jungkook lets you change in the bathroom, while he uses the bedroom. Because it is already late, he decides to get comfortable under the covers. He feels so good, despite everything which happened today, the feeling deep inside his chest is happiness.
He is home and you are safe again. Nothing will ever separate you and him.
“You’re cozy already.”
He looks at you and his eyes soften, “yeah I am. I’m really tired.”
“I wanna join you.”
“Join me.”
You hurry to the bed and get under the covers, closing the distance to him so you can rest in his arms. You are facing each other, sharing intimacy with only a gaze. He cradles your face, caressing it softly.
“If I had to redo my life again in order to find you, I would. I’d walk through the fires of hell for you. If you were Eurydice and I Orpheus, I would carve out my own eyes so I couldn’t accidentally look at you”, he whispers.
“Oh.”
He drops his forehead against yours.
“Thank you”, he lets you taste his sweet words, “thank you for taking me in.”
You look up at his eyes. He loves you so much. It is so obvious.
“I will always take you in, Jungkook.” You cradle his cheek. “For as long as I breathe, you have me.”
He smiles softly. It is honest. You retort it.
“I’m happy despite everything.”
“I’m so glad that you are”, you say and close your eyes, “I’m really sleepy. The past few days have been a lot.”
“I know, they have.” He kisses your forehead. “Sleep. We’re home again.”
“Yeah, home. I’m so glad you’re part of it.”
Jungkook closes his eyes and hugs you against his chest. He will never find the words to tell you just how glad he is to be part of it.
-------
Empty arms wake him the next day. He shoots up in alarm, screaming your name.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” you ask, looking up at him from your side of the bed. The pounding of his head stops, peace returns.
“Oh my god, I thought that I dreamed it”, he gets out, burying you under him in a hug.
“Dreamed what?”
“That I found you. That you’re okay and alive and home.”
“No, I’m really here.”
He squeezes you gently, kissing your neck. You smell so insanely good to him.
“I was so scared for a moment”, he mumbles against your skin. “Why were you so far away?”
“I got ready earlier and then kind of watched you sleep.”
“Ready for what?”
“I, uhm, I wanted to do something, but now I feel stupid.”
“No, don’t. I won’t judge. What did you want to do?”
“I have to show it to you, but please don’t laugh.”
“Alright.” He scoots back, inspecting you. You wrapped yourself in your bathrobe, rolling out of bed. “Show me, my baby.”
“Please don’t laugh.”
He scoots to the edge of the bed, “I promise.”
“I uhm. I got it so I could surprise you once you got home, but then the thing happened and yeah. I guess it’s still our first morning together again so maybe it counts.”
“Okay. Show me, I’m so curious.”
You open the knot of your robe and slip it off your shoulders. It pools by your feet, lying forgotten.
“Woah.”
You are wearing a sheer negligee and matching panties, held in soft pastel pinks and with delicate lace elements. The hems are decorated with the smallest of frills and at the lowest point of your neckline, a soft pink satin rose only as big as a pebble sits. The negligee reaches you around the middle of your thighs and allows your chest to sit freely.
“Wow, this is…” Jungkook feels lost for words, rubbing his hand over his mouth in utter shock. “Damn.”
This is the first time you are showing yourself this way to him. As of now, you only wore normal PJs and your underwear was comfortable and most of the time mismatched. Which he loves and he wouldn’t want it any other way.
It still would be a lie if he said that this right now didn’t affect him. Because it does. He feels in awe, completely enchanted and entirely in love with you.
“This is the first time I’m doing something like this, please say something.”
“I don’t know what to say, I’m in shock. You’re so beautiful.”
“I’m not wearing anything underneath.”
“I can very clearly see that”, he says in a breathy laugh and reaches out to pull you close by your waist. His eyes take you in hungrily, his breathing is just a little sped up.
“What are you thinking?”
“That I’m the luckiest man and that you’re the sexiest woman ever. Holy fuck, your body. Baby. Wow. Wow.”
You straddle his lap, chasing his touch.
“You drive me insane and get me fucking giddy at the same time.” He smiles at you, hands tracing the shapes of your hips. “My heart’s racing like crazy.”
“Mine too.” You scrunch your nose cutely. “I never did that before. It’s like in the movies when the woman surprises the man. I hope I got the vibe right.”
“You got it more than right. I’m in shock at how beautiful and sexy you are.” He looks at your body again, eyes burning in desire. “I can’t take my eyes off you. Please stand up one more time, I want to see you.”
It is easy for you to fulfill his wish.
He laughs in disbelief, running his fingers through his hair in a mindless habit.
“This is insane. This is literally insane. Holy fuck. Babygirl, oh my god.”
His positive and excited reactions are so encouraging, heating up your cheeks.
“Now turn around for me.”
Again, it is easy to fulfill his wish.
“Nope, I’m out. This is too much. Look at you. What the actual fuck”, he says and collapses on the bed dramatically.
You snicker, looking over your shoulder.
Jungkook meets your eyes and drops his head again, squeezing his eyes shut to play dead. He peeks after a few seconds, making you giggle.
He chuckles, straightening back up. He pats his lap.
“Come here.”
You obey his wish gladly, climbing his lap. He tugs you atop his cock, growling softly. His eyes practically fuck you, his lips are curled into a playful smirk and his strong hands cradle your buttocks. No one’s touch feels like his’ does.
“What am I gonna do with you, mhm?”
“Maybe be with me because we, you know, we haven’t been together for so long”, you started off strong but end up whispering the last words. Jungkook still gets you so shy and giddy. It’s just that you like him so much and you can’t believe that he likes you back.
“I can do that with you.” He squeezes your buttocks. “Nothing sounds better to me.”
“Then uhm, you…”, you snuggle your face into his neck, “…you have to tell me what to do. I can’t think right now.”
Jungkook swears that no one makes him feel like you do. He feels so protective over you, and cuteness aggression. So much cuteness aggression. He lets it out by lifting you up just so he can throw you onto the mattress and bury you under him. He attacks your face and neck with kisses, making you laugh and squeal.
“I’m gonna eat you. Get in my mouth, I’m gonna eat you.”
“This tickles. Eek! Please this really tickles!”
“You’re so consumable, and cute and cute. God, you’re so cute.”
“Please Kookie, I’m gonna choke.”
He purrs and kisses your cheek, lifting his head afterwards. As expected, his cock is already hard and you are already soaked. It should be studied how easy it is for you and him to get horny for each other. Neither of you address it right now, gazing at each other. Jungkook traces your features, you stare in awe.
“I wanna go gentle about it. Just take time to really savour the pleasure. Is this alright with you?” he speaks softly, like a purr.
“It’s really alright with me”, you say, nodding your head vigorously.
“This makes me so happy.” His features darken, brows furrowing. “You make me so happy”, he adds in a shaky whisper and drops his forehead on yours, lacing his left hand with you.
“Jungkook…”
“Promise me to never leave again.”
“I promise.”
“Holy fuck”, he whimpers, biting his lip so it wouldn’t tremble, “this feels so good to hear.”
“Koo, are you sure that you want to have sex? If you want to scent instead, we can just do that.”
“I want this. Just…be gentle with me today. I feel soft.”
“Yeah, okay. I like soft you.”
He smiles, kissing your cheek. He doesn’t stop afterwards, instead he kisses your jawline, your ear, down along your neck. He is so turned on, but he wants to go slow. Savour each second because it can be taken away so easily. He will never take you for granted again. He never did, but from now on he won’t even consider it.
A wave of emotion forces him to put his arms behind your back so he can lift you up into a hug.
His face is buried in your chest, his eyes closed.
“Mine.” He sets you down again, kissing your face with his elbows on each side of your head. “Mine in the gentlest of ways.”
“Yours with my body and soul”, you promise, heart beating in your chest.
He writes his promise onto your body with kisses to your collarbones and shoulders, hands guiding his lips and fingers so eager to explore. He leaves no marks, because your connection does not need physical evidence to be real.
True mates. That’s what you and he are. Fated lovers, destined partners, forever friends. It is real. It has always been about you and him. No marks are needed because it has always been written in the stars.
Jungkook leaves out your breasts purposefully. He knows that it would drive him too mad if he adored you there. Your sweet scent plagues him lovingly even from a distance.
So he ghosts his touch along the shapes of them, focusing his kisses on your upper stomach instead. You sigh so much in reaction, filling the air around him with your mellifluous scent and confirming for him that he would not have stayed normal if he had buried himself in your breasts.
“Can’t wait to be alive in there”, he says, quoting back to your first fateful night together. You described the feeling of his orgasm inside you as being alive. Jungkook was so moved by these words that it stuck. “Can’t wait. My beautiful, loved babygirl.”
You can’t wait either, but you cannot tell him that right now. He has you sighing so much. Ten days without him are too long, but you will never have to worry about this again. Jungkook is the Alpha now and that means he doesn’t have to leave for dangerous missions anymore.
“What are you thinking?” his raspy voice tickles your inner thigh.
“Just, I’m happy.”
“Mhm, I can smell that. Is it me?”
“Yeah, you”, you sigh and part your legs.
“I fucking love you.”
Jungkook kisses your inner thigh. First the left, then the right. Happiness, safety, love, desire. The scents are making his eyes water. It is truly difficult to exist so close to your spots when he feels so much for you. He thought that he will never be able to smell you again, but here he is. Back where he belongs with his true mate and best friend. The love of his life. His sweet, darling omega.
Salivating, he lifts his face, looking up at you.
“Can I eat you out?”
“Yeah”, your voice is shaky, your panties soaked.
With your consent, he hooks his fingers in them and pulls them down. You help him as best as possible, having to take a look when you hear two dull sounds of impact. He fell to his knees in front of the bed, gesturing you to put your legs over his shoulders.
“Let me take care of you, babygirl. There we go. Are you comfortable like this?”
Your legs are over his shoulders, skin getting caressed by his hands and muscles so relaxed.
“I’m so comfy”, you assure him, nodding your head. You love when he feels soft because he is even more attentive and loving with you than he already is.
“That’s good to hear. Your comfort matters. Ah, fuck I feel so soft today”, he chokes out and buries himself in your thigh to adore it closer and closer to your pussy.
Again, you love when he feels soft. He cherishes each moment, adores your every inch and makes you feel like a treasure in the process.
A very, very, wet treasure if one might add. You can feel it run down your butt, soaking the sheets in the process.
Drawn in by the smell of you, Jungkook changes his kisses to your buttocks, lifting your hips to gain better access. You are not in heat right now, but you are still so wet.
“You’re soaked, baby.”
“Mh-hm, yeah”, your voice is higher and softer than usual, and your hips twitch a little as if to confirm how soaked you are.
He feels so lucky. He has the most perfect mate.
He might just have to take a taste. Gently. Right where you feel so vulnerable. You gasp in reaction, tender rim tensing under his tongue as he licks you tentatively.
This is new territory he is treading on. Of course he snuck glances at it whenever you were bent over, and of course he wondered how it would be to exist in there, but as of now he has never taken a step into this direction.
He circles his tongue, listening to your rippling gasps. You don’t seem keen on pushing him away, on the contrary you shift closer to him eager for pleasure on this new, unexplored spot. Jungkook gains confidence, sliding his thumbs to your pussy to frame her. He massages you right beside where you need it most, while his tongue presses itself flat against your hole.
His nose comes into contact with your pussy, picking up your arousing scent. You are practically begging him to fuck you. His rimjob does this. It makes you needy.
It makes Jungkook needy too, but he holds himself back. He won’t rush today, not after everything, cherishing every grind of his tongue as if he was the one getting them. It is so wonderful how much you twitch, body warming up more and more.
So much more.
Dangerously more. Your hole is starting to leak as well, self-lubricating itself just as nature intended for an omega. It mixes with the sweetness of your pussy. Rich and flavourful, like aged honey. His fingers tighten on you, he grunts as if punched in the mouth. His breathing becomes rapid, heavy. His thoughts threatening him.
Fuck her ass until she is raw, push it in there without warning she’ll get used to it, take your omega, take her now. Those stupid instinctive voices tell him. He doesn’t want to listen to them. Why would he ever do something like this to you? You trust him, you rely on him to keep you safe.
He breaks away for a moment, kissing your inner thigh as he is calming himself. This was intense, holy fuck. He almost lost himself in the exploration.
“Good puppy, good girl”, he murmurs, more for himself than you to remind himself that he can be gentle. That he is still soft. That he is better than his instincts.
“Koo, more”, you beg, unknowing to his thoughts and therefore incredibly needy. You forgot how much you like it when your ass gets attention. And especially from Jungkook, whose spit has an almost aphrodisiac effect on you. You need more of him, tensing your thighs in hopes of pulling him closer.
Jungkook releases the skin he sucked tender, swirling his tongue down you thigh until it sits on your pussy. He stays by your entrance to lap up your nectar. Your shaky hands bundle his hair, your legs twitch on his shoulders. This is familiar but still just as exciting. Paths walked before have their own charm. Expect the expected, find safety in knowledge. Your taste soaks his tongue and coats this throat, and its familiarity forces tears to his eyes.
In return, his tongue so deep inside your pussy is something you know well, which makes you fall deep into a relaxing state of pleasure. You cannot deny, however, that your hole still tingles because of his previous attention.
“More please”, you beg, bucking your hips in hopes of feeling his nose against your clit.
“Anything, baby. Anything”, he purrs, replacing his tongue with one of his thumbs. He fills you just as he begins to lick your clit, your warm walls fluttering around him as they are trying to suck him inside. His cock twitches painfully, forcing him to fumble with his briefs one-handed and clumsily. It’s a distraction, his clothes, he cannot concentrate on what matters.
“Fuck.”
He slips away just long enough that you lift your head. Jungkook works as quickly as possible, setting your legs down and taking off his clothes. His muscles are bulging, dark nipples swollen hard and thick cock dripping heavy globs of slick.
“Are you going to fuck me now?” you ask with a hint of a beg in your voice.
“No, just the clothes rubbed on my nips and cock. It was distracting”, he says and falls back to his knees, lifting your legs back over his shoulders and burying himself in your pussy. His thumb returns to your walls, his nose finds its place back in your thick bush and his mouth locks around your clit.
She is so swollen that you practically throb into his mouth, sitting between his lips hot and sensitive. The burning pleasure returns instantly.
“Kook…” you grip his hair, clenching around his thumb. He never did that before: get naked because of desire only to withstand his instincts and lick you again. Mentally, as well as physically, you were ready to get fucked hard. It is difficult to accept your current situation, because of how needy his undressing made you.
“Koo…Koo”, you squeak each time you breathe out, fingers shaking in his thick hair and clit pulsing in his mouth.
He hums, sucking on your clit once, twice, three times and a fourth before he outlines her in slow circles with his tongue. A path walked before meant each step can be calculated, and Jungkook knows exactly how to work you up to an orgasm gradually.
No rushing it, not today. This isn’t just sex, this is your reconnection and your first morning as true mates. Your orgasm should hit you not like a violent punch to the gut, but like gentle waves during a warm evening.
He pumps his thumb in and out of you as he circles your clit, and because you leak so much, he lets his other thumb disappear to your hole.
He picks up some of the lubey, honey pleasure and spreads it on your hole.
Sharp pain flinches through his scalp, your legs lock behind his head. You pulled his hair, very unlikely for you, but the new kinds of sensations are doing it. Jungkook takes a mental note of it, remembering in this moment that female omegas are just as sensitive in their holes as they are in their pussies. How could he forget that? Fuck, he feels like a selfish prick. He should have adored you sooner, pushed forth into the last unexplored place of you.
He really wants to, you are self-lubricating enough and you are terribly relaxed. He really, really wants to push his thumb inside, but he doesn’t.
He teases, massages and circles your leaking rim while his tongue works up your clit. Not today. Especially because those mean voices tell him to. He doesn’t want to listen to them, he wants to listen to your blissed-out sounds.
His nickname sighed, mere syllables of his name squeaked, incoherent noises moaned and urgent gasps followed by silence as you hold your breath.
Your ass can wait, there is no rush. He will have so many more intimate hours with you. His heart flutters at the thought, tongue taking on a new pattern. He switches out the circles for upwards strokes like he would lick an ice cream.
“Oh god”, you get out, muffling his ears with your thighs. The new stimulation affects your body like electricity. The muscles in your pelvic floor tighten, your stomach tenses.
“Can you please stay there? Please.”
“Mh-hm.”
He could never say no to you. Whatever you want, he does it. Whatever you need, he gives it. People might think that the True Alpha rules over his omega naturally, but it isn’t so. Jungkook would wag his tail if you asked him, he would bark in command and do a little trick if it made you happy. Your wish is his command and he wouldn’t want it any other way.
He keeps the pattern going, gazing up at you while his thumbs work your other pleasure spots.
The fabric of the negligee sticks to your breasts and swollen nipples, glistening wetly wherever he kissed you. He is so into the view. Being seductively hidden fits you so well. God, he just wants to fucking push himself inside you and feel your cute walls struggle around his thick cock. The voices begin again, urging him to push his thumb into your ass, urging him to slip another finger or two into your cunt, urging him to abandon his quest for your orgasm and take what’s rightfully his’. He is the True Alpha for fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t have to kneel for an omega, he should breed her till she is bloated from it.
Jungkook closes his eyes and buries his nose deeper in your soft bush, focusing on your scent instead of the voices. They don’t know him. They’re just a by-product of nature, not his real feelings for you. He made a plan, a good plan. Your ass can wait and your pussy isn’t yet to be stretched too far. He wants to make you orgasm, this is what he wants.
“You’re gonna make me cum”, you whimper, following it with pathetic whines every time he flicks his tongue. You are shaking so much, motivating him to keep going. He loves when you shake.
“Kook, please can I cum?”
Of course you can, you don’t have to ask for permission. Not after everything that happened lately. You will never ever have to ask for permission again. His princess, his darling omega, his babygirl.
“Please? I-I really have to.”
Jungkook nods his head vigorously, flattening his tongue so he would stimulate every single micrometre of your swollen clit. Because you deserve it, because you are worth everything.
“Koo”, you let out and grow silent, back getting stuck in an arch and thighs almost painfully squeezing his head.
Your walls pulsate around his thumb, your hole flutters desperately and your clit throbs under his tongue. You are having an orgasm, pleasure so intense he has you stuck in a frozen, painfully tense state. He licks you through it, eyes burning in desire as he looks up at you. That’s his fucking wife. So fucking beautiful. He counts ten seconds before life returns to your body. You drop your back, hips instantly beginning to writhe and thighs falling from his ears to wiggle instead.
“Koo, Kook, Koo, ah Koo”, you squeak between gasps, lips looking so desperate for a kiss. He knows it’s not over yet. Your body has just about accepted that you are having an orgasm and begins riding on it. You can cum for such a long time when he licks you. It’s fucking impressive and quite frankly, he is a little jealous of this ability. It must feel so fucking good to climax for so many seconds, to think that it’s over only to be surprised by another wave. He feels it every time a new wave hits you, they are timed with the convulsing of your pelvic floor and run through you aggressively. He can count another fifteen seconds. Then your body begins to slow down and your pleasured squeaks become overstimulated. Five more seconds of it, even if you flinch and grasp his hair. Now he is happy. Thirty seconds. That’s a good number. Half a minute of bliss for you. That’s what he wanted. Jungkook lifts his messy lips from your pussy, connecting them with your inner thigh. His eyes are closed, his hands map out the kisses. He knows one is never enough for you, so he isn’t worried about whether or not you want more. He knows that you do. You are his omega, he knows you. Nobody can take this from him. The knowledge, the facts and titbits, the familiarity. You are his into the deepest parts of him.
Guided by his gentle hands, he kisses your stomach and waist, bunching up the negligee as he goes. You twitch a lot more than before, skin sensitive from the orgasm and his gentle treatment of it. He reaches the chest seam, redirecting his touch to your breasts. The thin fabric is wet and sticky where your nipples leaked. He licks it, purring deeply because of the taste. So sweet.
Feeling Jungkook’s tongue through the fabric is even more intense than you could have imagined. Your nipples swelled up so much because of him. They are so big that Jungkook can comfortably suck them through the fabric. If this keeps going, you will beg him to breed you. You are so ready to be his’. You leak because of him, suffocating him in your scent.
Jungkook is right where he wants to be. Suffocated by your scent and with your hard nipples leaking on his tongue. He swears that the fabric only adds to it. It is thin enough that he can feel your warmth, but the idea of mystery is still present. Like he is unwrapping a present. If that present was sweet, scent-heavy nectar.
He messies the sheets, cock throbbing angrily. This is too sweet, you smell so intensely. You do not need words to communicate with him, your scent tells him everything he needs to know.
That you are happy, that you feel safe, that you feel entirely submissive and that you want to be bred. The last nuance of your scent goes straight to his cock, his instincts threaten to kick in again.
Fuck her into a stupid mess, they tell him. Use her like a ragdoll, they threaten him.
“Argh shit”, he shoots up in an attempt to control himself, but your taste left him so dizzy that he drops on the pillow next to you.
“Jungkook! What’s wrong?!”
“I feel like I’m on drugs.” He reaches for you, tugging you close. “Kiss me, come babygirl be close to me.”
You climb his lap and fall to your elbows. Jungkook pulls your face down and kisses you. The negligee tickles his skin where it touches him, your soaked cunt is sticky on his thighs. It gets so difficult to hold back. Perhaps even impossible. You suck his tongue and lick his lips like you were starving for the taste of your own orgasm. Your hand ruffles his hair so well, scalp tingling from the touches. Your tits are so soft against his chest and your nipples keep leaking on his skin. Jungkook does what any needy alpha would do and runs his hands down to your hips. He guides them, mewling into your mouth in hopes that you understand. There is resistance at first where you are trying to figure out what he wants from you, until it finally clicks and he has an easy time shifting you to where he needs you.
Sinking into you is like heaven on earth. Your pussy squelches, squeezing out thick globs of slick to make space for his big cock. Your lips tremble, a small “oh god” tickles his skin. He can feel your walls struggle to adapt at first, clenching and throbbing around him like they were trying to get rid of an intruder. He sinks you down further until he bottoms out and another small “oh god” tickles his lips. Your hand leaves his hair. He opens his eyes and follows it to your tummy where you press down. He feels it in his cock: the pressure and growing warmth. It is enough to tell him that you are sensing his cock inside yourself.
He engulfs your hand under his’.
“Am I hurting you?”
Your eyes shift to meet his gaze. It is the first time he is underneath you like this, the unfamiliarity makes you nervous.
“Does it hurt?” he repeats his question, eyes racing between yours.
“No, but you’re bigger than usual.”
Your eyes flit to his chest, then his arms.
“Everything about you is.”
You slip your hand from your tummy and grasp his chest. Jungkook grunts from the sudden stimulation to his nipples, muscles tensing.
“You grew over night. Ah, you’re so big inside me.”
“I told you, it’s because I’m the true Alpha. My body is adapting.”
“Jungkook”, you drop your head.
“Yes?”
“You’re so big”, you whimper and lift your hips. Your knees, still shaky from your previous orgasm, protest and force you to fall back onto his thighs. His cock buries itself in your insides against your will, reshaping you because you are too weak to escape.
“Big.”
“Adjust for me, babygirl. I know you can do it.” He talks softly, rubbing your full tummy. “Mhm? Can you do it for me, babygirl?”
“Yeah, do it for you”, you lull, lifting yourself only to drop again. He makes you feel so dumb and weak and wobbly. You love cock so much and he presses to your favourite spots. Those are your weaknesses.
“Good girl, stretch yourself open on me. That’s my girl”, Jungkook’s voice is raspier than usual, brows tight. His cock hits his own hand every time you drop. Tummy full of him. His omega stuffed with nothing but him. It makes the animal in him so fucking happy. Jungkook squeezes down on your stomach, making you tense and gasp.
“Big…”
“Mhhm filling up your tummy”, he purrs, rubbing it gently.
“Yeah”, you whimper, furrowing your brows, “full of you.”
“I’m so proud of you, you’re doing so well.”
Your knees shake uncontrollably, barely holding up your weight. You feel so vulnerable on top and weak. You’re so weak. No matter how much you try to move, your legs don’t want to work with you because every time he bottoms out a little piece of yourself gets lost in a soup of dizziness.
You know that Jungkook expects more of you. His possessive hand on your stomach is sign enough. He wants you to work harder. But how can you work harder when you can’t even properly lift yourself. You don’t even know what you want. Or how you want to move. Jungkook normally does that. He moves. He takes the lead.
“Come baby, speed up a little. Do it for me.”
You want to obey him. That’s your alpha and he wants something from you. But you are so weak. Your legs tremble as you lift yourself, the climb up his cock is exhausting, the fall down way too short. The increased speed means you have less time to recover from the climb. It makes it so difficult.
Your hips begin to wobble and writhe. This is so difficult. All you want is his cock but you aren’t doing it right.
Jungkook sits up, stilling your hips with a gentle but firm touch. You meet his eyes.
“I think we both know that this isn’t working”, he whispers, wiping your frustrated tears.
“I’m sorry. I-I tried but it’s so overwhelming.”
“That’s alright, baby. You’re alright, I’ve got you.” He lifts you, holding you against him as he gets to his knees. He slips out this way, but it doesn’t matter because it isn’t for long. “I’m sorry for putting you on top.”
“It’s okay, I’m sorry I couldn’t do it right.” you sob. “I wanted to be your good girl.”
“You are my good girl, baby. Don’t worry, you’re so alright”, he whispers to you, kissing you gently as he lies you down on your back, crawling between your open legs and pushing back inside.
The familiarity of your position makes your entire body tremble. You clamp down around him, leaking heavily. Jungkook is covering you from the world completely, he is so big and strong and protective. And you completely at his mercy. This is where you feel most comfortable, this is your safe space. Underneath him as he makes the sweetest, most pleasurable love to you.
You reach up with tears in your eyes, cradling his face.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I want to cry.”
Jungkook lowers himself to his elbows, caressing the crown of your head.
“Don’t cry right now. I’ve got you”, he whispers, rolling his hips into you to remind you of his promised presence.
He drags out each thrust, savouring how he sinks into you inch by inch over and over again. You are so much tighter now that you are in your happy place. Jungkook swears he might tear up too.
“But you feel so good and I missed you so much.”
“Baby, oh god, my baby”, Jungkook presses out, pushing his nose against your scent spot. He hugs your head this way, rubbing his face into your neck just so he can inhale every single molecule of your scent. His hips barely move, buried deep inside you and swirling with minimal effort.
You do not even mind that short break, melting into a puddle as Jungkook’s scent engulfs you.
He is so happy. It is soaking his skin.
You hug him, burying your hands in his hair.
“I’m happy.”
“Me too, baby. Fuck, you feel so good. Ah”, Jungkook talked normally at first until the feeling of your pussy creeped up on him and turned his voice into a moan.
You can feel the exact moment the realisation hits him because his hips pick up speed and his cock depth, forcing a trembling flinch through your body. You could have never created this kind of pleasure. No matter how hard you had tried.
“Holy fuck baby, holy fuck. I wanna live inside you, holy fuck your pussy. Ah, your pussy.”
Jungkook is getting greedy, thrusts gaining in strength. It was only a matter of time that he would. It is in your nature. There are no wolves who fuck gently, who drag it out and slow it down. It is just not instinctual.
“I fucking love your pussy. Fucking love her.”
He is so rough. Oh god. You grasp his hips and wail. The sound is like an alarm to him, forcing him to still instantly and lift his head.
“What’s wrong?”
“So big.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Everything is so big. I-I didn’t feel this way before. Koo, what if I can’t take you anymore? What if I’m not your good girl?”
“What?” His eyes darken. “You’re my true mate, there’s no one else for me you stupid fucking girl”, he spits and kisses you with tongue. It is a harsh kiss, dominant, angry and possessive. He loves you and he needs you to understand that. No time for air, or to find a rhythm. Jungkook decides the rhythm for you and it is intense. His arm snakes itself under your head and takes it in while he uses his other hand to pinch your nipple.
You squeal, squirting nectar all over his chest despite the fabric barrier. Again. Pressure and a tug. Like he is milking you. Or perhaps punishing you for your words. His aggressive kiss would suggest so.
Oh god you have to breathe otherwise you will pass out. Wiggling is fruitless, fleeing him as well. Air. Please air. You claw at his neck.
Jungkook breaks the kiss, giving you a chance to breathe but not really. Because while he breaks the kiss and air is yours again, he also pulls out of you only to thrust into you and begin his punishing rhythm.
You gasp, eyes going cross and toes curling.
“Silly girl. Not mine? You wanna say it again. Not my good girl? I’m gonna show you how fucking dumb this is.”
He takes you into a headlock and presses his lips against your cheek, letting you feel his fangs.
“You’re my fucking everything, babygirl. Don’t ever lessen your status again.”
Your pussy weeps just as much as you do. He is definitely making sure that you remember. Holy fuck, you have never been stretched as much before and that means a lot because you are used to his cock.
“Don’t do it. Don’t ever fucking do it. You’re mine.”
His heavy musk surrounds you, lulling you into a state of intoxication. His muscles are so big and his skin so soft in contrast. Oh god his cock. You love his cock and his scent and his skin. You love being fucked.
“Never let you go. Mine. All mine. Mine forever. Mine, mine, mine, mine.”
You definitely are. And it is getting easier to take him. You don’t want anyone else, sobbing loudly as you try to hug him closer to you.
“Tell me. Tell me you’re mine.”
“Yours.”
“Louder.”
“Yours”, you mewl, grasping is tightening arm. “Koo, I can’t breathe.”
He relaxes, calming himself by licking your neck. He growls and huffs air, feral like a feeding wolf. He must be trying to get used to his changed body as well. Perhaps a true alpha is a lot less human in the way he fucks. Perhaps his voices are loud today.
You know about them because Jungkook told you once. It was late at night after especially intense, but satisfying, sex. He told you what they urge him to do, how violent they can get and how much he hates them because he would never want to hurt you.
Maybe the voices of a true alpha are even more violent, maybe he is figuring out how to be himself again one heavy thrust at a time. Weak, but determined, you tilt your head.
“Kiss me, I love you, please kiss me.”
His hips stutter, a particle of normalcy returns.
“Love. Yes, I love you. Oh baby, I love you. Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“Mine.”
“Yours.”
Jungkook moans, kissing you. He slips his hand from your aching nipple to massage the other instead. He is softer with it, urging it to leak with patience not possessiveness. His kiss is less scrambled as well. Still passionate and messy, just less violent. Oh his hips move as if they were trying to make the sweetest love to you. He feels so good.
You melt under him, spilling tears as much as you spill new slick. Just a few more thrusts and you will finally have adapted. Truth be told, you were really doubting your own bodily limits at first. He grew a lot now that he is the true alpha. His cock is heavy, thick with throbbing veins and massive breeder balls which constantly press against your ass. His knot is still a mystery to you, but you can only imagine the absolute bliss it will bring in its enlarged state.
You truly feared that your body wouldn’t ever adapt, but of course it did. Because Jungkook is right, you and he are true mates. There is no one else for him, and no one else for you. You will fit together no matter what.
Jungkook breaks the kiss, panting against your lips. His face is flushed, his lips swollen and pink.
“Your pussy’s so soft”, he sighs, mewling softly as he drops his forehead against yours.
“I adjusted, Koo. Yours, yours, yours, yours.”
“Baby. Mine. Mine, mine, mine. Fucking mine. All mine.” He cups your cheek, hips speeding up again. “I love you so much. My babygirl.”
“I love you so much. My Jungkook.” He hits your sensitive cervix with his next thrust, raising your voice. “Ah! Yours!”
Cervix stimulation is like ecstasy for omegas, every thrust fills your veins with masses of it. Electric and fiery. Never-ending because Jungkook fucks relentlessly.
“Mine. Tell me again, baby, tell me.”
“Yours. Y-yours. Yours.”
“Yes baby, again. Mine. Tell me.”
“Yours! Ah, yours!”
It is like a prayer you are both trapped in. A blissful prayer of pleasure and possession. Nothing feels better than to be owned and to own in return. Nothing feels better than to be each other’s, connected by your sticky middles.
“Sorry I doubted myself, sorry I said it.”
“It’s okay, babygirl. You’re okay, my good girl. Yeah?”
“Yeah, good girl. Kiss me please.”
Jungkook moans, fulfilling your wish gladly. He kisses you slowly at first, feeling soft again because you pulled him back to humanity. But your pussy is a powerful weapon and he is so weak to you. As his thrusts drag out and your tongues dance slowly, some of the roughness returns again. A desire for more, an itch he cannot scratch. The kiss turns sloppy, your hands fall to his hips and squeeze.
“Right…there…”
“Good girl, take me. You’re doing so well.”
“Jungkook…right there, please right there.”
“I know babygirl, I can fucking feel it. I’m made to be inside you, baby, you’re such a perfect fucking fit. Good girl, so good.”
His praise is everything you need, your legs lift only to lock behind his butt. It tightens you around him, forcing him deeper into you.
Jungkook shudders, buries his face in the crook of your neck and moans loudly. He hugs you to his chest, rubbing his scent all over your skin. Everywhere. Your neck, your chest, your inner thighs and inside your pussy. It just happens, spilling out of him because he simply loves you so much.
Perhaps he has to let go soon, head pounding aggressively and parted fangs dripping saliva. It’s because you are hugging him. His heart might very well explode right with his cock.
“Your pussy’s so soft, so soft, soft”, a new chant begins to spill out of him, soaked in pleasure and dripping in desperation.
“Koo, you’re gonna make me cum soon.”
“Yeah? Good, cause I’m”, he laughs breathily, “fuck, I’m really fucking close too.”
“Please don’t change anything.”
“I won’t, baby. Just let me get you there, let me take care of you.”
He makes you feel so fucking protected, pampered and loved. His name leaves you in a shaky whimper, followed by a moan. You have to grab more of him, making him yours just as you are his’. Any thrust could do it at this point. Any movement could be the one. You are balancing on knife’s edge, tensing every time he pushes in and shuddering every time it isn’t happening. The build-up is making you want to fucking scream. Almost. Just a few more.
You moan loudly, arching your back and toes curling. You throb around him, riding on the kind of intense high only he can give you.
“Oh fuck. Yes babygirl, yes. Cum on my cock, fuck this is so fucking good.”
“Jungkook please give me your cum”, you beg.
“Really? I’m gonna breed you so much.”
“Please.”
“Oh god, baby. Yes baby, yes. Yeah, ah fuck now.” He whimpers loudly, slacking on top of you as his high knocks him down. It doesn’t matter to you, you pull him deeper into you, hugging him with your arms and legs and sobbing in gratefulness because nothing will ever feel as good as Jungkook does.
“Thank you! Ah!”
“Baby.. girl..”
He doesn’t knot you this morning, neither do you get trapped in an endless loop of orgasms. It is okay, the sex still leaves you just as breathless and fuzzy. Maybe even fuzzier because it was filled with so much mutual love this morning. You don’t really know how much time passes between the end of your shared orgasm and the first time one of you speaks. It was all very fuzzy and blurry. You feel so out of it in the best way possible.
“Fuck”, Jungkook sighs into the silence, head heavy.
“Yeah, right. Did you like the lingerie on me?”
“I fucking love it so much. It’s so hot. I think I blacked out in the middle of it.”
You snicker, “yeah, you got a little rough.”
“Yeah”, he chuckles breathlessly, “fuck, I’m sorry if I hurt you. I swear you are affecting me too much.”
“You didn’t hurt me, I loved it so much.” You stub his neck with your nose. “I hope that you and I never ever stop being together.”
“Yeah, I hope so too.” Jungkook gets to his elbows, smoothing his fingers over your forehead and temples gently. Pearls of sweat have gathered on it. Jungkook feels sweaty too.
You smile at him, scratching his back.
“You know that I love you like crazy, right?” he says.
“I love you too.”
He finally smiles, eyes softening. You snicker because of it, cradling his face so you can squish his cheeks. Jungkook lets it happen, having to snicker right with you. Nothing feels as electric as being with you.
“So I guess we are kinda running the pack now, aren’t we?” you say.
“I guess we are.”
“What’s first on our agenda?”
“Mhm.” He thinks for a moment, tingling with every touch you place on his skin. “Mhm, probably cooking a massive breakfast and then devouring it in ten minutes.”
You laugh, “yeah okay, deal.”
“Deal. I’m so hungry.” He slips out and sits up. You follow suit, spilling him all over the sheets.
“Maybe I have to clean up first”, you say, shifting uncomfortably.
“Mhm?” He studies your messy thighs and messier pussy. “Fuck, yeah maybe you should. Wanna share a shower? True mates style.”
“True mates style? What’s that?”
“It means that I’m gonna look at you a lot and tell you how much I need you in my life”, he says, making you giggle.
jungkook is freshly single after a long term relationship. oc has never really committed to anyone. in between their understanding of casual—two lines appear on a stick—and suddenly leaving, staying, and loving are something else entirely
kimi's note ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა // m.list
nsfw is applied in all my content + fluff , angst , and crack .
you've been best friends with nba star jeon jungkook since he was a skinny point guard for your high school team in the middle of nowhere. over ten years later, you remain the one calm constant amidst his hectic life of chasing greatness on the court. you've seen jungkook through all - his struggles, his successes, and especially his god-awful love life. when his recent engagement goes awry, he decides he's had enough following heartbreak after heartbreak. meanwhile, you've grown numb to the mere idea of love in favour of building your career. pent up frustrations come to a head and caution is thrown to the wind, as you and jungkook promise it's just one time.
a drunken night between two friends and two lines on a pregnancy test later, your lives change. unsurprisingly, jungkook promises to stick by you no matter what. marrying your best friend shouldn't be a bad idea, especially when he's the father of your child. when the two of you continue to cross unexplored territory, you don't know if you have the guts to admit that you want more.
ᯓ★ˎˊ˗ pairing: famous athlete!jungkook x reader
ᯓ★ˎˊ˗ content/warnings: childhood friends to lovers, friends with benefits, unplanned pregnancy, whirlwind (platonic) engagement (of convenience), power dynamics (jk is rich and reader isn't lol), alcohol and recreational drug use, both characters have abandonment issues whoops, also they're in heavy denial, smut (unprotected sex obviously, oral sex (f. receving) soft dom jk, fingering, breast play, dirty talk, big dick jk, consensual drunk sex, multiple orgasms), fluff, light angst, no use of y/n
ᯓ★ˎˊ˗ notes: so excited to finally drop this i kinda love that jk is mostly the opposite of what a basketball player is stereotypically (i.e. liars and cheaters and weirdos trust me i would know) like he's just so sweet and earnest lol anyways i chose new york for the setting and for the fictional nba team solely because i guess i had to name a city for them to be based in (i usually don't like outright naming settings) and i'm not american but nyc is the closest thing to the city where i'm from lmao anyways this will be a three parter!! hope you guys enjoy and i love any and all feedback and comments i'm just happy to be here and write lol
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JUNE
june is often the only guaranteed time of the year when you could see your best friend, at least recently. his team consistently made deep playoff runs that extended his nba season farther than the average player and then usually vacationed somewhere tropical right before training camp with whatever pretty model he’s dating at the time. before that, though, jungkook held all of your seasons and time and had done so for the better part of over ten years.
the two of you went from eating lunch by yourselves on the bleachers of your high school football field to sleeping at each other's college dorms and finally, landing jobs in the same city as adults. as most friendships post grad do, your friendship with jungkook sometimes morphs into sparse meetups and birthdays only. it doesn’t help that he was out of the state fifty percent of the week. of course, being his best friend, you both try to put in the effort - thriving in text conversations - but it’s natural that your schedules constantly conflicted. that is precisely why you loved the month of june, when basketball is on a break.
"are you going to bali with her this time? or, is it gonna be somewhere in the pacific?"
jungkook found this nasty dive bar the year that he got drafted to new york - the kind of bar where smoke from the nineties still stuck on the walls. you were both brand new to the city, as you just coincidentally transferred to nyu, and this place was tucked in between other equally gross drinking holes. back in the day, this bar happened to be the one of the only ones that took jungkook’s fake drivers' license and since then, has become your go-to spot.
the man in question winces at your inquiry and instead of answering, calls for the bartender. "hey, frank. can we get two tequila shots over here?"
granted, back then, no one recognized jungkook. when the two of you meet up today, he wears a fairly ordinary outfit of a form-fitting white t-shirt and jeans. a baseball cap nestles the top of his head and he has black tom ford sunglasses to hide his face - you had quipped that the designer shades in the middle of this disgusting bar gave him away immediately. the two of you remain unbothered since sitting down at the end of the bar, but you could feel the double takes and stares every once in a while.
frank, who has been bartending at the bar since you and jungkook first became regulars, nods and grabs a bottle of the brand he already knows that the two of you prefer. every time you come around, he also makes sure that no one even thinks of coming over and intruding, scaring anyone off with a glare before they can even ask jungkook for a picture.
"straight to the tequila?" your eyebrows shoot up. you can tell that jungkook has something to say and truth be told, you may already know what it is. you read him like the back of your hand at this point.
frank slides over two shot glasses filled to the brim with the amber liquid. the two of you thank him and throw the liquor back in one go. when you look back at jungkook, he still remains silent at your question. he just kinda shrugs at you, as he sucks on his lime. some juice drips down his chin and you throw a napkin his way with an eye roll.
a grin spreads on his lips and he mutters a thank you. you still stare at him, waiting.
jungkook clears his throat a little once the initial burn passed. "you see," he says. "mariana and i broke up. two weeks ago, actually."
"jeon jungkook!" you gasped, hand covering your mouth.
you saw it coming, but you still can’t believe it.
truthfully, you’re taken aback at the sudden news, but you’re also not totally surprised. jungkook is a complete lover boy and always has been, unlike some of the dirtbags on his team that had a woman or two for in every city they played in. when he proposed to the girl he'd been seeing for just a little over a year, you were a bit skeptical. mariana seemed like a sweet girl, but certainly enjoyed a lavish lifestyle - at least according to her instagram. you couldn't judge too hard, as you’d only met her a few times, since she lived all the way in los angeles and he would often be the one coming to see her. you just didn't want jungkook to get hurt, but you couldn’t always trust his judgement. you’ve been patting his back and telling him "you’ll get em next time” for years when girls broke his heart time and time again.
evidently, nothing has changed since high school.
he sighs, taking a sip of his water. "it wasn't gonna work out. she and i were just. . .too different." his words were careful, like he was tasting each one on by one.
"koo, you can be honest with me," you respond slowly. "this isn't a press conference."
it’s like he tastes the bitterness of the words on his tongue before he speaks, with the way his facial expression contours.
“well. . .”
you look at him, expectantly.
"she was a gold digger," jungkook lamely admits. "i overheard her on the phone with her friend talking about me and, well, it became this huge thing. then, she wouldn't sign the prenup."
you rub his arm comfortingly. "i'm so sorry, jungook."
even trying to imagine the details hurt. you don’t wanna know the full length because it would just make you upset. you also knew that the last thing jungkook wanted is someone to feel sorry for him.
"this shit always happens to me," he mutters and waves frank over for another drink.
all your life, you've watched girls take advantage of jungkook. you just hoped mariana was the last one. still, this has been happening since the girl who tried baby trapping him right before freshman year. there was even the string of influencers before mariana that just wanted either his clout or his money.
you also order a drink, as you never let your best friend drink alone.
"why didn't you tell me sooner?" you ask.
jungkook runs a hand through his hair. "i was only sure it was over last night." of course he fought for the relationship. he always does. "when she, uh, gave me the ring back."
a dull clank and the ridiculously huge rock drops to the counter in front of you unceremoniously. it’s probably the biggest diamond you'd ever seen in real life. you remember the first time you saw it on jungkook’s then-fiancee's hand and wondered if it was heavy enough to break mariana’s annoying habit of flipping her hair after every sentence.
"fuck her, you deserve better."
and you mean every damn word. you always do. jungkook is a genuinely kind and caring person. he’s loyal, attentive, and frankly, was rich and handsome. you weren't stupid or blind, just uninterested.
"you also deserve better," jungkook grunts, waving over a second round of shots. you don’t try to intervene - you knew he was having a rough night and certainly needed it.
still, you don’t the hide the grimace forming on your face. "gee, thanks."
“what?”
you snort. “this was about you. why the fuck do i have to catch a stray?”
this at least makes jungkook chuckle a little and you’re fine with that, even if it’s at your expense.
"no, seriously. i know i'm making it all about me right now, but i'm sorry you got stood up."
you made a noise of protest, half burying your face in your hand. you were hoping to avoid even talking about it. it’s already more than a little embarrassing to show up to the hangout with what was supposed to be the ‘seduce-the-date’ outfit and you didn’t miss jungkook’s raised eyebrows when he noticed the low cut of your shirt and the way your skirt barely hid your ass.
when jungkook asked you to grab a drink with him over text yesterday, you indicated that it would have to be later in the night because you had a date and deflected the teasing by clarifying that it was a random tinder match. nothing serious - jungkook knows you don’t do that stuff.
of course, when your date never came and you asked jungkook to meet up several hours early, he figured it out instantly.
you shake your head. "it's fine. i'm happy to even make it onto jeon jungkook’s crazy schedule," you reply wryly. "or, i guess i'll be seeing you more if you won't be on your usual romantic beach side getaway this summer."
jungkook flips you off, but can't hide another laugh escaping his lips. you always lighten the mood like that and he never fails to appreciate it after all these years. for whatever reason, he still thinks you’re the funniest person alive.
"see? this is why i keep you around," he teases, dodging a halfhearted smack that you send his way.
in a way, you knew it was true. "everyone else would pity you. you need someone to tell you that it's time to grow some balls," you fire back. "seriously, koo. fuck her. you never needed her."
you don’t dare give jungkook some sort of baby treatment. he’s a grown ass man and he knows that. you never pull punches with him, not back in high school when he didn't get scouted by his first pick school or even two years ago, when you told him off for not calling his mom enough. it’s anything from the little things to the bigger problems, but you are always there to just be real with him in a way no one else would.
jungkook sighs again and lifts his next shot glass to his lips. "i know," he says dumbly. "just thought it'd be different this time. got down on a knee and everything."
he really did care, though. the two of them hadn't been engaged long and jungkook’s last year had been far too busy to host the wedding, but he'd been so eager to talk about it whenever you were able to catch him for a chat. he wanted to have it in the hometown that you both grew up in and bounced off venue ideas as recently as a month ago.
"the right woman will come at the right time," you assure and mirror his movements, knocking back your second shot of tequila. this one goes down smoother than the first and you’re glad it does because you know this wouldn't be the last of the night, with the way jungkook is pacing himself.
it's been a long week for jungkook, you can tell. getting eliminated in the league eastern conference finals last month is one thing, but to have his engagement fall apart not long after is the cherry on top. you’re more than happy to listen to him drone about his sorrows.
“i think i’m over it. for real, this time.”
you pause your movements, lime in your mouth when you do so and it prevents you from blurting anything inappropriate aloud. you try to be supportive with jungkook when it comes to his love life, but he tends to be a little dramatic.
“how so?” you decide to bite, setting the wedge back into your now empty shot glass.
jungkook sighs. “i’m done. done with dating and love.”
this makes you chuckle and you can’t help it. of course, you think jungkook is joking, but you look up and catch the solemn look in his eye.
“you just need a break from it,” you say. “just take a step back and enjoy your life for what it’s worth. you have your dream job and more money than you’ll ever need - lots to be distracted by.”
he says your name. “i’m serious. i think i’m done,” jungkook repeats.
“i'm sure.”
“well, you definitely don’t have a hard time with it. you don’t date.”
you make an unconvinced noise. it’s different for you. you’re just two years out of school, having spent a lifetime working towards your current job as a chiropractor. it’s not like you’ve had the time to even consider anything serious with anyone since midway through your undergraduate degree. you don’t even know if you wanted to do the whole get married and have kids thing. you wanted to run your own clinic, that’s what you know.
“because i have a boring life with boring goals that don’t have room for getting to know a man,” you finally reply, arms folded across your chest.
jungkook rolls his eyes. “doesn’t matter. you still make it work, why can’t i?”
“we’re different people,” you say.
a third round of shots slides your way from frank, along with your cocktails. you didn’t even realize how fast the two of you have been drinking for your cocktails to only come now. jungkook grabs his long island iced tea and you take the first sip of your mango daiquiri.
sugary. strong. tastes like a hangover.
not like it matters. you don’t get opportunities to go out and drink like this often - plus, jungkook obviously needed it. tomorrow is saturday and you get to stay home all day long, beating the heat wave projected to hit new york city tomorrow. it’s one of the reasons why he suggested enjoying tonight as much as possible, when the next day looks to be one where no one should even bother stepping outside.
june always guaranteed those two things: jungkook and the relentless sun.
in a way, it feels like you’ve been trailing after jungkook your entire life. the two of you met in chemistry class in high school and became lab partners. since then, you haven’t left each other’s sides. you both even ended up at duke university after graduating, where jungkook led the basketball team to a national title as a freshman. he became a guaranteed top three pick in the nba draft and went to the new york titans. somehow, someway, you also ended up in new york city after transferring to your dream school - nyu.
it’s an evergreen orbit that you and jungkook exist in, circling in the same atmosphere according to destiny. there should have been many instances where the two of you get torn apart, but have yet to pull away from each other. jungkook hasn’t been traded since joining the titans. you found a job in new york after you passed your chiropractor board exams.
you’ve never considered the idea that jungkook may be trailing after you.
he’s never let go of you. you’re the last person that knew him from the before, even before he knew he wanted to play basketball for the rest of his life. he hasn’t let go and doesn’t know if he can - both figuratively and in this particular moment, physically.
jungkook wakes up to the warm glow of sunlight through his balcony door. it’s not often he doesn’t wake up to a blaring alarm. his life is a comfortable fixed schedule of things that requires him to be up at early hours. gym, practice, games, meetings, interviews, and flights.
it’s also not often that he wakes up with a throbbing headache.
he shifts to rub his temples until he realizes that there’s something on top of him.
jungkook recognizes your scent immediately. vanilla, jasmine and something sharp. it pierces his mind so suddenly that all the memories of last night hit his consciousness immediately.
your legs tightly wrapped around his waist. the taste of you on his tongue. the melodic noises from your lips, filling his room until jungkook couldn’t hear anything else.
he even remembers the promise shared between the two of you, before lines were crossed. the only thing he doesn’t recognize is the ache in his chest, unsure of what it is.
now, he doesn’t need to open his eyes to know that it’s your warm body attached to his - so close that it’s impossible to tell where you begin and he ends.
while he’s not shocked, jungkook doesn’t move either. he’s frozen in place and doesn’t dare open his eyes because when he does, that makes everything real. too real.
questions can come later. jungkook instead buries his face into your hair and secures his grip. you don’t pull away in your sleep, only stirring slightly. the weight of your body calmly melts into his, like it’s normal.
because for a minute, he just wants to exist in the orbit with you.
frank doesn’t say anything when the two of you bid him goodbye and he notices jungkook's hand on your hip. it’s subtle, but the man has watched you both for years and has never seen such a thing. his lips curve into an easy smile as jungkook leads you out the door of the bar, like this is something that he’s been waiting on since the two of you first walked into his bar.
there’s a buzz in the air throughout the short uber ride back to jungkook’s condo. the chatter of conversation fills the air, as you and jungkook debate about video games and existentialism. separately, of course. you’re both drunk enough, but jungkook has invited you back to his for even more drinks and you don’t say no.
between a fit of laughter over jungkook’s animated rant on the nintendo switch, you catch his eyes drifting a little too down south. you think you’re mistaken, but his look lingers and you can’t believe it.
“jungkook, are you staring at my tits?”
considering that you first expected your night to begin with a tinder date, you chose your outfit carefully. the top you threw on is a leopard print halter top with an open front and a gold clasp in the middle - not exactly leaving much to the imagination. even the tiny denim skirt isn’t exactly what jungkook is used to seeing you it, at least when you hang out with him.
jungkook’s movements are slower with the liquor in his body, so he doesn’t even bother denying it. “yeah,” he says simply.
you smack his arm without hesitation. “god, all you men are the same.”
“ow - what? it’s not like you’re an ugly hag or something,” jungkook retorts and the statement doesn’t fly past your head.
he’s not wrong and you know that. still, you’ve always assumed that it’s the same case for jungkook as it is for you. not stupid nor blind, but simply uninterested. this shared mindset is what makes your friendship work as an attractive man and an attractive woman. everyone around the two of you has questioned it at least once - if you and jungkook ever saw each other in that way.
the answer has always remained the same. the two of you are friends and anything else has never been on the table simply because it’s never come to mind.
so, you brush off his staring.
soon, you’re standing in front of jungkook’s front door, watching in silent amusement as he fumbles to open the door.
“you do know that you live here, right?” you quip dryly and it earns you a glare from your best friend.
it seems like forever ago when you made your first visit here. you were the very first person that saw jungkook’s new condo, purchased once he signed his rookie contract with the titans. the building itself left you breathless and that was before you even stepped foot inside. it’s a five bedroom behemoth of all marble with a wrap around balcony and high ceilings, easily worth a number that you probably couldn’t even dream of. after all these years, it’s still strange to see jungkook, the annoying boy you ate lunch with everyday in high school, with this much wealth. there were well off people where you came from and then there’s people like him, who have a boundless amount of money. it never changed jungkook, he’s never been that kind of person, but you often forget how different your lives are now.
there are a lot of memories in this place. you can remember every lavish party that jungkook has thrown over the years, where dozens of guests filled the surroundings to the brim. you also remember the quiet nights where it’s just you two, watching movies and eating dinner. quiet nights, like tonight.
you kick off your heels once he gets the door open, as does jungkook before he makes a beeline for his mini bar.
“if you wanna smoke, there’s some prerolls in my room,” he calls out, amidst the clinking of bottles and glasses.
knowing jungkook, that isn’t a suggestion - especially with the way the night has gone. poor guy probably needs it. you’re not necessarily opposed to the idea anyways, so you make your way into his bedroom, squinting because he keeps his condo so damn dark. the walls are dark and his lights are dim, as if he lives in some sort of dungeon.
you flick his lights on and as usual, his bedroom is a mess. jungkook has a habit of just throwing things everywhere and has always been this way since you guys were teenagers.
muttering to yourself, you shake your head. “at least he keeps the rest of his apartment clean.”
it doesn’t take you long to find the pack, sitting on top of his bedside table. by the time you do so, jungkook’s footsteps approach and he appears at the door with two glasses with ice and a whole unopened bottle of whiskey. normally, you would object to mixing liquors and claim that you’re too damn old for that shit, but tonight could be an exception. jungkook is mostly cheered up compared to when you first sat down with him at the beginning of the night, but a little more fun couldn’t hurt.
surely not.
“balcony?” you both say at the same time and both let out a tipsy giggle.
you have to lead the way because jungkook’s hands are full, but not before popping into his walk-in closet and snatching the first hoodie that you see. it may be june, but it’s still nearly one in the morning.
“don’t spill your drink on that sweater, that’s one of my favourites,” jungkook warns and follows you to the sliding door connected to the balcony from his bedroom.
as a new york city transplant, you’re still in awe of the skyline every time you see it - especially from as high up as where jungkook lives. the lights spread out across you endlessly, rolling out before you in dots and streaks and flashes for what seems like a thousand miles. you didn’t think it was possible for the sky to be so bright in the middle of the night until you moved to the city. you and jungkook used to count stars on his mom’s roof and that used to be the brightest sky you’ve ever seen.
even at this hour, the city is alive with noise. from the floor you’re situated on, you can only make out faint noises of cars of the street, but there’s still a hum in the air that never quite goes away.
“careful,” you remind jungkook, opening the door for him to step through.
he thanks you with a lazy grin. “i really doubt you’re gonna get cold, but there’s a blanket on the smoking couch if you need it.”
the smoking couch is a self-explanatory piece of furniture that jungkook actually got from you. even at his big age and salary, he asked for your couch a few years ago when you mentioned offhand that you were getting rid of it for a new one. jungkook complained it would be a waste of a perfectly good couch, but you had a feeling that he was too attached to the memories of it and how he would nap on it every time he visited your shoebox apartment.
its patchwork green and brown fabric doesn’t match any of jungkook’s other furniture, all of which are on the more modern and minimalistic side and worth several times the price, considering you found it for fifty bucks on facebook marketplace a few years ago. he has it out on his balcony with some plants and a little table for an ashtray. you plop right on the couch, tucking your feet underneath your knees and you do grab the blanket, but only to cover your lap and the tiny ass skirt you had on.
jungkook sits next to you and pours your drinks. “at least now that mariana’s gone, i don’t have to throw away this couch,” he muses, still trying to deflect the pain away. “she always said it was ugly.”
you laugh. “that’s becuase it is ugly.”
he flips you off and the two of you fall into conversation again, while sipping on your whiskey on the rocks. it’s easier to rant than earlier and the alcohol goes down smoother, too. jungkook continues talking about mariana and the faults in their relationship, while you patiently listen and give your two cents only when asked.
“then go find a pretty girl to sleep with,” you scoff when jungkook starts complaining about being lonely already. “you say you don’t wanna date, fine. i’m sure you’ll find a willing and able body to spend a night with you. you nba players have a reputation for a reason.”
jungkook rolls his eyes, pinching your leg at the comment. you squeal and slap his hand away. at this point in the night, it ends up being him who gets cold and demands for you to share the blanket with him. the summer heat has certainly died down in the night time and although it isn’t chilly, there is a slight wind. you begrudgingly scoot closer and do so instead of handing it to him because there’s no way you could take it off your lap.
“pft, you make it sound so easy,” he remarks.
you give him a look. “you’re jeon jungkook,” you deadpan, wondering if he has lost his mind. “i haven’t gotten laid in literal months, but if i was a rich and famous basketball player -”
“woah,” jungkook begins to laugh and holds his hand up. “months? you’re joking, right?”
“i’m glad my suffering is giving you a good laugh tonight,” you shoot back.
you find the forgotten prerolls and take one out, placing it in between in your lips to search for a lighter in between the couch cushions. jungkook digs into his pockets and pulls out one for you, clicking it and bringing it to your lips. he leans in when he does so and you can smell his woodsy cologne, mixed with the liquor on his breath.
“just surprised, that’s all.”
the tip burns amber and you inhale deeply, letting the weed travel into your head space. you open your eyes and clouds curl around your heads, as you pass the joint over to jungkook. as courtesy, you unzip the sweater you stole from him and fling it to the side, so it doesn’t end up smelling dank. the sharp air hits your chest and you’re feeling a little exposed, but you just let it be. you open your eyes and clouds curl around your heads, as you pass the joint over to jungkook.
you snort. “can’t imagine what it’s like?”
“no,” jungkook admits with a laugh, bringing the joint to lips. “don’t you, you know. . .get frustrated?”
too much information doesn’t really exist with jungkook to a certain extent. you don’t talk about things insanely detailed, but you’re adults about topics like sex. it’s not in your nature to give information to jungkook about anything beyond what you wouldn’t tell a female friend anyways.
you just sigh dramatically, tilting your head back to look at the sky. “yeah. why do you think i was disappointed after my date cancelled?” you snap. you normally wouldn't have gone for a dating app to fulfill your needs, but the drought was getting desperate.
“damn,” jungkook whistles and shakes his head in the same disbelief.
“tell me about it.”
“well, what do you wanna do about it?”
it’s an innocent question at first. but, the air feels strange around you. the liquor burns hot underneath your skin and smoke warms your cheeks, the silver of it dancing around you in a haze. you feel light from everything swirling in your body, but the atmosphere is heavy. jungkook’s heavy lidded glance is casual at first, but it's like there's something’s he’s holding back.
you know where you are before you open your eyes. metal tickles your belly and it's jungkook’s rings, as one hand splays across your torso and the other arm tightly wrapped around your waist. you can hear a low hum coming from the living room, likely his housekeeper vacuuming. his balcony door is left slightly ajar and the morning traffic fills your ears.
his balcony. last night. you left it open, last night.
the realization is slow and ludicrous, as if you're in a cartoon. you even comically open a single eye to confirm your suspicions and that you aren't imagining things.
you’re in jungkook’s bed.
he’s pressed up behind you and when you finally make a movement, you notice that you’re naked under his sheets.
the third realization is actually the realization of everything that occurred last night. most of it comes back to you, at least the important parts. some of the fragmented moments are lost with whatever liquor you downed. but, his words echo in your head - the promise made between the two of you. it plays back in your head on repeat like a sick jokes and the wicked headache throbbing in your ears doesn’t help. you knew you’d be hungover today, but this isn’t how you expected to wake up.
you shift slightly and your heart drops when you feel the rumble of jungkook’s chest, as he groans when you move.
by this point, you’re pretty much in shock. you’ve accepted the fact that you are definitely naked in your best friend’s bed and that there’s a certain ache in parts of your body that you can’t ignore. not like you could deny anything because, unlike the movies, you remember how this came to be. you just don’t know what to think.
“don’t run.” jungkook’s muffled voice mutters lowly, his face pressed into your hair.
jungkook thinks for you with these words and he’s right. you wanted to run. this insane and that’s the only option here. in that very moment, you’re sure that over a decade of friendship just went down the drain because neither of your desperate asses could keep their hands to yourselves. still, he doesn’t let you go and even pulls you closer against his back.
“jungkook -”
“ - it’s fine.” he yawns lazily. “we’re cool. chill out and stop moving.”
you still. your mouth opens, trying to find the words to reply, but you then hear a low snore. bastard. it seems like jungkook wasn’t even looking for a reply. he just wanted to go back to sleep.
when you experimentally try to peel his arm off, he bristles in his sleep and tightens his grip again.
there’s no escaping. you let out a huff. maybe he has a point. even if you try to leave, it doesn’t change anything. he said you guys are cool. you figure that means he isn’t making big deal out of things and you shouldn’t either.
jungkook said the exact same thing last night. all of the lingering questions in your mind deplete at that and you have no choice but to sink into his embrace, at least for the time being. your head pounds, but the lull of sleep begins to circle you again. his arms are too comfortable and the scent of his fresh sheets calm you down.
a part of you wouldn’t admit it, but you’re okay with that. for now. if what you agreed on last night remains true, then this is. . . okay. there shouldn’t be any questions that follow. you ignore the unknown sinking feeling in your stomach and close your eyes.
jungkook nudges for you to turn around and you do, without even thinking twice. he pulls your into his chest and your head rests in the crook just underneath his chin. you breathe in deeply and you let sleep take over again.
the blanket leaves your lap when you crawl on top of jungkook, straddling him. it comes without thinking twice after the two of you looked at each other dead in the eye, saying this should be fine. you place your hands on his chest to steady yourself against the buzz of liquor in your muscles.
he chuckles at your clumsiness, but he grips your hips to keep you in place.
“it’s just one time, right? everything goes back to normal after?” you repeat for maybe the third time, needing the assurance in this unbelievable situation. you didn’t even consider this as an option and yet, you’re sitting on jungkook’s lap.
you think it’s the alcohol, but you’re not nervous. he isn’t either. for you, you still don’t think that this is real. but, when you look up at jungkook, he’s calm and moving easily. he has an air of confidence that you’ve never seen up close, only from the wall during college frat parties when a classmate would pull him to the side to flirt with him. you’ve also seen it during interviews, when he plays up his personality for the fans. it’s attractive and it’s not a debate.
jungkook nods, eyes drifting to the way your legs are parted above him. “everything goes back to normal. one time.” his hands slowly graze lower, to the hem of your denim skirt. “nothing serious. just stress.”
that’s what this is. you’re both stressed out and this is an outlet for you let it all out. there’s no other reason for the uncomfortable wetness in between your legs. your breath hitches when his fingers trail further down, until he palms the flesh just underneath your ass.
“okay.”
“you sure this is okay?” he has to ask again, too, just like you. his eyes burn into yours, searching for any doubt.
you don’t verbally answer. something comes over you and instead, you experimentally lower yourself into his lap - enough for you to finally feel the hardness bulging out of his jeans. with a roll of your hips, jungkook hisses and your mouth hangs open. the message is clear and both of you are too deep in to take any steps back.
jungkook brings his lips to yours and kisses you slowly, like he’s savouring the taste of you on his mouth.
he’s a good kisser. a great one even.
he sucks on your tongue and you feel your heart stutter. you make him hear it, too, when you whine at his boldness. your grab his chest more firmly now, feeling the hard planes of muscle underneath his shirt.
you kiss him back with vigour and he also responds with a tighter grip of his hands, now on the curve of your ass. he squeezes a generous handful, earning another rock of your hips. you move without even thinking, grinding down into his clothed erection.
jungkook pulls back, only to reattach his mouth to the column of your throat. you think you’re floating.
“fuck -” you sigh, feeling your skin tingle with each nip and kiss jungkook brings to your skin. it’s intoxicating, the way he feels.
he moves like he knows what he wants. now that he has your permission, he can do it. you bite your lip when you see jungkook undoing the clasp at the front of your shirt. when your tits come free from your top, he pauses for just half a second and hopes that the groan he involuntarily makes isn’t as desperate as he thinks it sounds. you don’t even know that you’re aching for it until he wraps his lips around one of your nipples, flicking his tongue skillfully against the bud.
you tangle your fingers in his hair as he draws circles against your nipple, grinding up to meet the rhythm of your rolling hips. jungkook decides he’s had enough and releases your tits with an obscene popping sound to suddenly stand up with you in his arms.
jungkook doesn’t struggle a single bit to carry you back into his bedroom, abandoning everything on his balcony. he hungrily captures your lips again when he does so, effortlessly leading the way without letting go. he kicks the sliding door open back into his room and steps carefully back inside.
a gasp leaves your mouth when he practically throws you onto his bed.
your eyes are smoldering, watching jungkook yank his shirt off. you’ve seen him shirtless many times throughout the years, but it feels different tonight. your gaze trails down and memorizes every curve and vein and muscle lined with ink. you also fully take your top off, chucking it to his floor, and he climbs onto the bed - looking like a predator stalking his prey.
he finds your lips again as he shoves his hand up your skirt, making a strangled noise when he finds your panties completely soaked. it’s almost embarrassing how wet you are for jungkook. you whine and he moves the lace to the side, slowly dragging a single finger along the outside of your folds - just enough for you feel, but not enough to be where you really want him. your hips jerk slightly and you pull away from the kiss to fumble with the zipper of his jeans.
“off,” you pant, feeling dizzy as though your breath has been physically knocked out of you.
jungkook only stops teasing you to kick off his jeans and when he turns back to you, your mouth goes dry at the sight of how big the bulge in his boxers is. you don’t have a moment to react further because jungkook pushes your legs further apart and presses soft kisses up your thigh. he sees the arousal in between your thighs and he knows what he wants. what he needs.
he looks up at you with darkened lips, wet with saliva. “gonna eat you out now,” jungkook rasps and his directness alone almost draws a moan out of you. “tell me if i do anything you don’t like.”
you nod rapidly. his mouth finally approaches your core and you can feel your knees buckling from just the ghost of his breath. jungkook licks a languid stripe up your pussy and through the lace fabric of your panties, burying his nose into it. you cry out, fisting a handful of his hair again and he enjoys it, groaning your name when you do so.
he finally hooks his thumbs underneath and drags your panties down your legs. you begin to reach for the zipper of your skirt when his hand shoots out.
“no. keep the skirt on, it’s hot.”
you bite your lip, clenching around nothing from his words alone.
jungkook’s mouth connects with your body again, noisily letting you know how much he’s enjoying it. your back arches off the mattress with each lick and suck, as he focuses on your puffy clit and the sinful noises that it draws out of you.
a single digit eases its way past your walls and you’re so wet that there’s little resistance. he curls the fingers once and you whimper, desperately needing more.
“please,” is all you can babble, mouth hung open.
he listens well, slipping a second finger inside and moans when he does, like he can’t get enough of you. the two fingers plunge deep and his thumb circles your clit with precision, palm slapping wet against your cunt.
he growls against your thighs , mostly to himself. “fucking hell, this pussy is so noisy for me -” and returns his mouth back to your clit, wrapping his lips around it.
jungkook adds a third finger and the sweet stretch is all you need to finally see stars. it comes all at once, dizzying and hot, taking over your vision and all you can do is pull jungkook closer by the hair. you cum on his mouth, swearing incoherently, and he doesn’t let up - pumping his fingers into your greedy hole and swirling his tongue around your clit until you’re too sensitive to take more.
you’re given a moment to catch your breath, chest heaving because you don’t remember the last time you came so hard. jungkook is caught off guard when you yank him in for another kiss, palming his clothed cock when you do so. you taste yourself on his tongue and he moans into your mouth, the vibration deep, not letting up when you finally slip your hand under the waistband of his boxers.
jungkook is big. you could already tell by the imprint of his erection, but feeling him is another story. he makes quick work of the remaining clothing on his body, as do you - clothes haphazardly thrown across his bedroom.
you try to sit up onto your knees, stroking his thick cock, when he stops you.
“no, no,” he chuckles darkly, pinning you back down by the hips. you give him a look and jungkook shakes his head. “i won’t last if you do anything.”
he spreads your legs and you almost miss it, but he pauses for half a second to admire how pretty you look. jungkook brings two fingers to your lips and you open them without having being told to so do. you wrap your lips around the fingers, sucking gently, and it elicits a deep exhale from jungkook.
his fingers ease into your pussy again, sinking into the wet heat and your thighs tremble. you sigh, as you anticipate jungkook’s next move. you’re visibly a bit nervous - it’s been a while since you’ve been with anybody and he’s impressive. you could tell that it’s going to be a slow adjustment.
jungkook notices and kisses your forehead, as if to reassure you. it’s sweet - a little too sweet for the moment and the circumstances - but, it still relaxes you.
“i need you inside me. now.”
he groans at your words and doesn’t hold back any more. lining himself up with your entrance, your eyes nearly roll back to the back of your head from just the tip dragging inside your walls. he’s teasing you purpose, barely getting the tip wet and so, you dig your nails into his back.
“fuck, okay,” jungkook chuckles darkly and pushes in, the stretch more than what you’re used to. “you still whining?”
you don’t have it in you to curse at him because of the way his thick length is burying inside your pussy. your clenching walls have dissolved whatever teasing jungkook has left in him because he’s now a moaning mess.
“god, you feel so good,” he breathes, trying to will himself to still and prevent himself from losing control.
“more,” you choked with big eyes, as you adjust to his length.
he can’t deny you for long. jungkook finally bottoms out and your back arches off the mattress at the feeling of being so full.
he fucks into you, abs contracting with each rough thrust, and you love every second it. you make it known that you don’t want him to hold back, whispering dirty pleads into his ear.
the pace he sets is brutal - like he’s starving. his hips snap ruthlessly, as he watches the way your tits bounce with every thrust. the way he’s completely and utterly pussy drunk is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen in your life, watching the way his face morphs into complete bliss at the way your slick covers his length every time it disappears into your cunt. he brings a thumb to your clit and you mewl desperately, feeling a knot build in your stomach.
jungkook leans down, dipping his tongue to your collarbone and up to your ear. “you’re taking me so well,” he grunts and the praise goes right to your head.
“fuck - i’m gonna -” you cry out, as the pressure builds and you know you’re close.
you’re taken aback when jungkook grabs your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes.
“don’t close them. i wanna watch you while you cum on my cock.”
nearly screaming, you reach your second climax with jungkook gripping your face. his eyebrows furrow and his jaw clenches as he chases his own release, his eyes never leaving yours. your vision is white hot and you see double for a few moments, arching off the bed again. the way your walls flutter around his cock sends him over the edge.
his mouth falls open and with a shudder of your name, coats your insides with his release. you wrap your legs around him when he does, feeling every twitch and pulse of his heavy cock, completely filling you up.
“shit,” jungkook pants into your neck, still buried deep inside you.
you whimpers when finally pulls out slightly a few moments later, when you both catch your breath. jungkook looks down and hisses at not just near the loss of contact, but the way his sticky seeds spills out of your entrance before he’s fully out.
the noise that comes out of your mouth seems to be one of protest. he isn’t far off either, as he grows half hard again inside you at the sight of the mess he’s made in your pussy.
neither of you have to say anything. instead, jungkook flips you over so that you’re now on top.
“think you have the energy to go again?” you tease, hands steadying yourself by placing your palms flat on his muscular chest.
you don’t know what comes over you. you’re needy, hot, and you know you could go for hours. the smirk on jungkook’s face mirrors yours and you can tell he’s thinking the same thing. he doesn’t answer, only lands a harsh smack to your ass. it elicits a moan out of you and unconsciously, you sink all the way down on his cock again.
you and jungkook don’t break promises. vows are sacred in your friendship and always have been. he remained your prom date even after several girls chased a 'yes’ out of him during your senior year of high school. you never missed any of his games in college, even the exhibition bouts and away face offs miles away from campus. the two of you never lied to each other nor missed any milestones. you remember when he rushed back to new york after a six game road trip in the west coast, exhausted and sleep deprived, just to make your graduation ceremony.
we’re cool.
that’s how you end up eating scrambled eggs at jungkook’s island counter, while he sips on coffee and finishes cooking the last of his gross sausage-slash-cottage cheese situation. you wear one of his oversized t-shirts and shorts that go up to below your knees, half paying attention to the show playing on your phone.
it isn’t awkward, but the air feels slightly charged. maybe it’s just in your imagination because he whistles happily as he moves his breakfast around in the frying pan. he doesn’t usually make his breakfast, preferring meal prep, but today is an exception to a lot of things . . .like sleeping with his best friend.
still, the promise from last night remains and the two of you carry on as best as you can without making things weird. you try to push any thoughts away to uphold his promise alone, pretending like it’s any other morning. you’ve even fallen asleep in his bed with him a few times before in the past - long ago, before mariana, at least - so, you try and make it seem like one of those nights.
it’s a slow paced morning since peeling away from jungkook’s body when you woke up - until he gets a call.
“what’s up, garbanzo?”
garbanzo is the ridiculous nickname that jungkook’s agent goes by and to this day, you seriously can’t recall that man’s government name. jungkook answers the call on speaker since he’s cooking and you tune out most of the conversation, until you pick up some discussion about the olympics.
that’s why you love the month of june. you get jungkook all to yourself no matter what and even though he may not have a tropical getaway in sight with his now ex-fiancee, he still has an obligatory trip to paris to make. team usa needs him badly and he’s been itching for a gold medal since the start of his career. he really only has these few weeks to relax until he has to step up.
garbanzo runs jungkook through his schedule prior to the start of the olympics and it sounds jam-packed.
“we’ll need you in vegas for the 29th to check in before training camp,” he says and you notice jungkook sigh. “then, we only got a few days of practice before the exhibition showcase stretch and the last of prep - get you used to fiba rules and letting coach run through all the lineups and systems. the team is expected in paris on the 24th. any questions?”
jungkook stops cooking at some point to search for a pen and paper. you’ve already walked over from the living room and you slide his notebook over. his scatter brain never remembers anything unless writing it down. he gives a lopsided grin when you do so and mouths a ‘thank you’ while holding the phone in between his cheek and shoulder.
that’s his life for you. it’s like he’s a machine and he still somehow has time to pour into his personal relationships, like trying to figure out his love life and making time to see you, his best friend.
when jungkook hangs up, much of the earlier tension lingering from what you and he did last night has dissipated. he’s too visibly stressed out to even be thinking about that stuff and so, you also push it away.
“you’re leaving soon,” you say, sipping of the glass of orange juice that he poured for you earlier.
“i am,” jungkook replies, shoulders sagging. “not like i wasn’t expecting it - i signed up for the damn thing. it just feels like i’ve barely gotten any time off.”
the emergence of small talk is enough to let any of your nagging thoughts about last night vanish.
you nod in understanding. you know that he still needs to go home and visit his parents before training camp. a part of you wanted to come with, at least to see your own family, but you just have too much going on at the clinic with one of your coworkers away on vacation.
"bring me a nice souvenir back from france, okay?”
“what, like a chanel bag? their paris boutiques are the best.”
rolling your eyes, you reply, “i was thinking of something more like an eiffel tower figurine.” your tone is dry and unamused. the difference in wealth between you and jungkook has always taken a backseat to your friendship, but it’s moments like this when you remember. it’s not strange at this point in your life, but you still get taken aback by how casual jungkook can be about it. you don’t blame him, though, as you’re sure that he’s just used to spoiling his parents and his little girlfriends in the past.
he just chuckles a bit. “okay, okay, fine. wish you would be able to make a game, though.”
to this day, you really do try to make all of jungkook’s games. he’s gifted you season tickets at madison square garden and when you can, you travel for many of his playoff games. whenever his parents are able to make it to an important away game, it’s likely that you’re seated right next to them. you’ve confused broadcasters and have been called his relative a few times due to the frequency of your appearances, despite the fact that you and jungkook look absolutely nothing alike. going to paris, though? not only out of budget - you refuse his offers to fly you out to a totally different continent, which is much different than him getting you a hotel room out of state - but, again. work. it’s taken over your life.
“i’ll be cheering you on from my shoebox,” you say, shaking your head.
jungkook doesn’t know it now, but this is the last time he can catch you before he heads off to training camp. he promises to you that everything is fine and normal that morning, but nothing is fine and normal in his head after. the memories of the night you shared swarms his head, stuck there like a square peg in a round hole. the next month and a half are agonizing and it has nothing to do with his trip to the olympics.
he doesn’t understand why. he’s slept with women casually on countless of one night stand occasions in the past and forgets their names right after. he’s made promises with you since the beginning of your friendship that he’s never broken.
yet, jungkook can’t forget you and struggles to keep the promise he made to you. that everything will go back to normal afterwards.
you seem to fare well enough. you continue to call and text him throughout his stay in vegas and his journey to paris for the games, no matter how overworked you are with everything else going on in your life. you keep the promise well enough, at least in jungkook’s eyes.
when he finally comes to a realization, the texts and calls from you stop.
you go almost radio silent by the first week of august and jungkook nearly misses it because of the hectic schedule of the olympic games. jungkook’s mind is set on the tournament and pushes the conversation he wants to have with you to when he returns to new york. team usa fights through the quarterfinals and semifinals in the span of two days and the only contact he receives from you is a bland congratulation after each bout. no calls, no memes, no everyday small talk.
he only recognizes the drop in communication from you after team usa captures the gold medal. you send him another congratulations text and when he reads through your text thread, jungkook notices that you have said nothing else but that and immediately sees that something is wrong.
then, his fears kick in again. he just can’t lose you, too. jungkook pushes away the nagging realization to the bottom of his heart and tracks you down because you’re his best friend. nothing else.
JULY
it’s hard to avoid jungkook when you live in the same city, even if it’s as big and bustling as new york. you’ve never had to avoid jungkook in the past, so you grow nervous when the olympic games come to a close and athletes return back to their home countries. you don’t know how much longer you can dodge his increasing calls and texts, which start off casual. jungkook double, triple texts you on multiple occasions. he asks how you’ve been, if everything is alright, and repeatedly tries to make plans with you. there’s about a month or so until nba training camp starts and the titans need jungkook back in their facilities, so he’s trying his best to catch you before then.
still, you try your absolute best to ghost him - at least until you can figure your shit out.
once jungkook left in june, you did your best to maintain your usual friendship, even after what happened. it’s easy to not think too much about it when the man in question was missing for the majority of the summer and you figure that, by the time he comes back from paris, it’ll all just be a faint memory.
your plan goes swimmingly well, until you find yourself heaving in front of a toilet every morning come late july.
“are you. . .seeing anyone?”
around this time, your older sister, layla, comes to new york for a visit. she lives and works upstate, so she tries her best to see you as often as possible. it doesn’t take long for you to make a run for your bathroom after letting her in through your door.
it’s impossible to hide, especially in your little studio apartment - you’ve refused to even think about having another sloppy roommate since getting your job, so you settle for the tiny unit. you make her some coffee, as you go over your plans to grab food with her, until you feel a familiar queasiness in your stomach. it’s the fourth day in a row where you’ve vomited violently into your toilet, but you couldn’t cancel your sister date because of some stupid stomach bug.
“what?” you ask hazily, hunched over on your bathroom floor. you’ve been so fatigued lately and any sudden movements, like running to make it to the toilet, leave you feeling lightheaded.
she follows you into your bathroom, privacy be damned when you run off in the middle of a conversation and the sounds of your vomiting become too loud to ignore.
layla raises an eyebrow at you. “you heard me.”
it’s another hot summer day and the denim of your jean shorts dig into your waist, making you even more uncomfortable. you adjust your tank top over your stomach.
“no. i’m not,” you reply, still confused at the question, and change the topic. “can you please grab me some pepto bismol? it’s in my medicine cabinet -”
“pepto bismol?” layla interrupts with a laugh. “why would you need that?”
“for my stomach bug?” you say, feeling irritated at the way she’s laughing at you.
layla is older than you by eight years and has lived by the whole older-sister-knows-best mantra since you were babies. the age gap was a pain growing up because she never hesitated to boss you around, but as you’ve grown older, it’s evolved into more worldly advice and looking out for you. she’s the glamorous first born daughter, who’s put together and has worn the same shade of red lipstick since she was a teenager. you’ve always silently understood that she does, in fact, know best - at least until now.
she crouches down next to you, smoothing out your hair and tying it back with the extra scrunchie that she always keeps on her wrist. “babe, you do not have a stomach bug,” layla urges.
“what?”
“how long have you been throwing up in the morning?” she asks.
in that moment, you realize what layla is alluding to. it hits you like a truck, but you still try your best to stave it away with the best of your defenses.
you falter slightly. “a few days.”
layla helps you to your feet, hooking her arms under yours and bringing you up with brute force. she puts the toilet seat down for you to sit on, as she leans against your bathroom sink. the room feels cold, in spite of the blazing heat spreading throughout new york city. your fluorescent lights seem to sting your eyes all of a sudden.
“when was your last period?” the question comes hesitantly when she sees the expression tugging at your face, looking scared and unsure.
in the span of five seconds, you go through all the possibilities of anything but this one. you also quickly figure out that you’ve missed your period for this cycle. it’s an internal bargaining with yourself, convincing yourself that it could be anything but this. you have to be sick. it’s what you’ve been telling yourself for days - have you known for that long? the idea never even crossed your mind because it was so preposterous.
layla can see it in your eyes and a thin smile spreads on her lips, the kind that is knowing and pitying.
you finally speak. “layla, there’s no way. absolutely none.” your voice is slightly shaky and you want to believe that it’s from vomiting your breakfast into the toilet a few minutes ago.
“do you want to go pick up a test?” she asks, so gently.
there aren’t anymore questions that follow, at least in the next little while when you and your sister go to the pharmacy across the street for a pregnancy test. the trip is almost silent because you don’t know what to say. layla isn’t expecting some sort of loaded explanation, but you debate on telling her about what happened in june with jungkook. you don’t, not until you’re sure.
it’s a cruel thing - you’ve spent all month trying to forget about that night because it was supposed to just be one time and that’s it. you’ve pushed it away with every text and call to jungkook in paris, who’s at the tail end of the games and needs focus now more than ever.
the heat of new york city sinks into your skin with each footstep outside and a certain daze floats in your head, dizzying you with fear and disbelief.
you take a test and you take another. three, even, just to be sure. layla doesn’t need to be there at all, but you ask her to sit on the floor instead of wait outside the door. you force yourself to not even think about jungkook during the process, completely in denial.
so, you pee in a cup, while your sister tries to distract you with hometown gossip. she tells you about the neighbours getting divorced and about the girl in your graduating year that had a baby before high school ended. you try your best to listen and give your two cents, but at some point, the waiting has to come to a stop.
six lines in total. two of them for each test.
“are you sure that’s two lines?”
you stare back at each test, hoping that at least one of them says otherwise, just enough to fuel the certainty in your mind that screams that this isn’t really happening.
layla grimaces and looks over your shoulder. she places a hand there, calmly. you try to ground yourself in it, but the tears have already started to fall.
she shakes her head. “you’re pregnant,” she says, getting straight to the point. there’s no use in beating around the bush, especially when the evidence is crystal clear in front of you both.
all your life, you weren’t sure what your future would look like when it came to family and love. your parents divorced when you were so young that you didn’t know what a healthy marriage would look like. you’ve dated casually, but it’s never gotten far and you only have yourself to blame. you’ve only ever wanted to be successful in your career and make money. you never wanted to get married and thinking about kids wasn’t even on the table, especially when the topic never even came up with your exes.
now, you’re pregnant.
you’re also still crying, burying your face into your hands as you sit on the toilet. it crashes upon you when layla utters those words because it’s suddenly become reality. you don’t even know what you’re crying over, whether it’s the dumb decision you made to sleep with your best friend or the embarrassing scene you’re making in front of your sister.
you cry everyday until your doctor’s appointment. like everything else in your life, you’re on top of it. you schedule it the same day that layla comes to visit and you take the tests. you needed answers as soon as possible, while all these thoughts float over your head.
how do i tell him? do i tell him? do i keep the baby?
as this happens, you watch jungkook on your laptop, streaming his games every single time. you text him each congratulations, short and almost empty. you don’t say anything else because you can’t bring yourself to lie to him in any capacity, so you create distance. that’s the easiest thing to do in your mind and always has been. when trouble comes, you run. you could only hope that jungkook doesn’t notice, even though you know damn well that he knows this about you better than anyone.
when layla comes back to the city on the date of your appointment to accompany you, it’s obvious to her that you’ve come to a decision.
she sits across from you at the coffee shop next to the doctor’s office. the two of you walked here in silence after your appointment, where the doctor explained how far along you are and the options that you have. it’s now the beginning of august and jungkook has won his first ever gold medal, expected to come back to new york sometime in the next few days.
"i think i want to keep the baby,” you finally utter, hands in your lap and your eyes fixed on your latte. you can’t say it to layla with a straight face, so you look away.
it’s a strange, sudden attachment you feel to the life growing inside of you. the indecision over your pregnancy has bent and willed you to tossing and turning every single night until your appointment, when you finally felt this unknown calm. you looked at the ultrasound and saw the indication of this baby and it melted every wall you shot up since taking the pregnancy tests.
layla doesn’t hesitate. “i know,” she whispers. “i saw the look on your face earlier.”
unlike the past few days, you don’t cry. you’ve wondered if you’ve been crying from confusion or anxiety, but the answer is clear today. the tears are indeed from the fear of the unknown, until you finally came to an answer.
“this wasn’t part of the plan,” you say with a shaky voice.
the plan.
you’ve always been the kind of person who has always known what she wants and you’ve been willing to do whatever it takes to get there. you made it to your dream school after trials and tribulations, got a job, and the next step was supposed to be opening your own private clinic. you don’t do well with uncertainties - as if anyone does, especially with a surprise like this - but it’s different for you. you can barely operate when you don’t know something.
yet, you don’t know at all what’s supposed to come next after this. for some reason, this uncertainty doesn’t thud in your chest or stutter your brain. even though you could easily not go through with the pregnancy, it’s like the option was never even there. the feelings you hold for this unborn child are finite and you can’t even begin to think otherwise.
layla places a hand over yours. “and that’s okay,” she says.
you can tell that she wants to ask so bad. she’s avoided questioning you about the paternity of your child since finding out about your pregnancy, waiting for you to come at your own pace. you’re not the type to randomly sleep around and she figures that there’s a story to be told, when you’re ready.
it’s now or never.
you lean back in your seat, contemplating and tangling the words from your mouth. once you tell layla, it doesn’t just become real, but it effectively breaks the promise you and jungkook made on that june night. everything was supposed to go back to normal after that night, after the one time that you two cross a line. it nearly breaks your heart because this has never happened before.
today marks the first time that you’ve ever abandoned a promise between you and your best friend.
it shatters so loudly in your ears and it’s like everything plays back before you in a film reel. in that moment, you recall the moment that you and jungkook became lab partners in high school. he was so shy and awkward back then, having yet grown into his charms and frame. you became quick friends after bonding over rock bands and video games. you remember him leading the varsity team to a national championship and then again, when he went to duke. over the years, you recall every time he’s defended you and stood up for you for various reasons - like when people question the sincerity of your friendship. it’s happened a lot with girls who wanted to get close with him or people who wanted to be friends with jungkook because of his fame.
you think of other promises, the ones that live in the a.m. and whispered conversations in the dark. he’s promised to never leave your side. you’ve promised to never change, no matter what. the loyalty etched between the two of you runs deep and until now, you were certain that there’s nothing in the world that could shake it off.
when you avoid jungkook for the first week of his arrival back to new york, it’s because you realize that you’re not only breaking that promise from june, but so many more from the years past. you can’t bear to face him afterwards, even though you know you have to talk to him at some point about this.
you’ve ran away from a lot in your life. you’ve ran away from relationships that scared you because of the commitment it involved. you’ve ran from your hometown, where all your trauma and hurt lives in your childhood home, where the walls are stained from the arguments of your parents. you’ve even ran from yourself over the years, throwing yourself into your work because you can’t stand to face your flaws and anxieties about anything outside of it. you tried running from jungkook that morning in june.
this time, you need to stop running. you have no choice.
AUGUST
jungkook notices quickly that you’ve created distance between the two of you. it’s not the kind where you need a few days of space, but he can instantly tell that it’s different this time. he isn’t the type to do so, but he blows up your phone by day three of your avoidance from him. he expected to hang out with you as soon as he landed from his trip to paris, but you didn’t even call once.
he shows up at the clinic where you work and when he does, you’re not even surprised. you’ve been drowning in your agony over the situation, while still coming to terms of the new life that you’re about to enter. this isn’t a light decision that you’ve made, but you still make it and you need to accept it. so, it’s almost as if you’re waiting for jungkook to come to you because everything else is just so damn loud and you can’t do it alone.
a baseball cap covers his eyes, the usual accesstory that jungkook leans towards when he doesn’t want to be recognized in public. he dons a black graphic t-shirt that exposes his tattooed sleeves and baggy denim that falls just underneath his knees. his signature shoe line is what you notice first, the sneakers a bright orange on his feet.
jungkook calls your name from where he sits in the waiting room of your clinic.
you’re still in your scrubs, as you walk out with your bag. the only other people still around at this hour are one of the massage therapists and the receptionist. the latter eyes you, having informed you a few minutes beforehand that jungkook is here, waiting for you.
“hi,” you breathe heavily. even though you were warned that he’s here, the actual sight of him is like you’re being thrown in a loop - disoriented and shocked.
“sorry to show up suddenly,” he says, standing up warily. he’s still not sure why you’ve been avoiding him and you can tell from the softness in his eyes that he’s hurt. your heart aches at that. “i texted you that i’d be coming, but i don’t know if you saw . . .”
you’ve been leaving all of his messages on delivered since he won his gold medal. this is in spite of the fact that you’ve read every single text. everything ranging from updates on his travel to him trying to make plans and finally, jungkook questioning if you’re alright and if something is going on.
it was easy to ignore it all, until he’s standing in front of you like a puppy with wide eyes and slumped shoulders.
you lie by shaking your head, but you gesture for him to follow you outside, so that the others can lock up the clinic. “how are you?” you say, trying to fill this silence.
he doesn’t answer until the two of you are in the underground parking lot of the building. you take the subway to work, but you already know that jungkook has driven here and you wordlessly walk over to where his bmw m8 is parked.
the two of you stop and jungkook leans against the side of his car, eyes fixed on you.
“what’s going on?”
you look at your feet, suddenly at a lost for words. you’ve practiced this in your head so many times, the way this conversation would go. it’s what comes after the conversation that you’re afraid of. you know exactly how jungkook would react. at least you think you do. he would offer child support and your friendship would never be the same because a promise - several of your promises, actually - has been broken. he would be present, but things will change forever.
the answer you give is not the one that jungkook wants. “can we go for a drive?” you answer his question with a question of your own, still not ready to let it all out.
an hour or so later, you and jungkook sit on the hood of his car on the old storm king highway, just outside of new york city. it’s a beautiful three mile segment of a winding, curvy road that’s always been your escape from the craziness of your lives within the city limits. the views of the hudson river at this pullout are breathtaking and for just a moment, you forget about everything.
jungkook fiddles with his hands and doesn’t look at you. he thinks that he’s done something wrong, you can tell, and it spreads a dull ache across your chest. you’ve upset him. it takes everything in you to not wrap your arms around him.
instead, you place a hand over his and he stops fidgeting. he finally looks up at you, eyes still sad.
“i’m sorry for avoiding you,” you finally whisper, trying your best to not cry.
jungkook notices and his expression morphs from despondence to concern. “what?” he murmurs back. then, his fears finally fall out. “if it’s because of what we did, why did you keep acting like everything was fine in july?”
you shook your head rapidly. “it’s not because of that,” you say, even though it’s a half truth. you did want to keep trekking on after the night that the two of you slept together, but then this whole mess happened.
a wash of relief visibly moves over jungkook and he’s comfortable enough to scoot over closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“please, just tell me what’s going on,” he pleads and this time, you reach your limit of running away.
instead of verbally answering - because you’re scared of choking on your words and becoming a crying mess - you reach into your purse and hand him the ultrasound scan from your appointment. a picture tells a thousand words and you can’t imagine what words go through jungkook’s mind when he takes it and everything finally clicks into place.
he stills. he goes silent. he doesn’t react at first at all and this frightens you. you almost want to snatch the scan back and laugh about a good-natured prank. but, the two of you are grown up now. you’re adults with real world problems and decisions to make, long past the days when you were teenagers with nothing to lose.
this is the first moment in your life when such a reality hits you - that nobody is here to hold your hand or tell you that everything will be okay. not even jungkook.
after what feels like forever, he finally speaks.
“why didn’t you say anything?”
“because i promised you.”
you don’t specify what promise you’re referring to because at this point, you’ve broken so many. the promise back in june, the promise to never lie to one another, all of it. you can’t look at him, so you look out to the river below. a part of you wishes to live in that water, where the stream gently rocks in waves endlessly and nothing truly matters.
jungkook turns to you and reaches out to gently turn your chin towards him. his touch is soft, you let a tear trail down your cheek and it stings so bad. you brace yourself for the worst, but it never comes.
“you want to have this baby, don’t you?” he whispers and it takes you aback.
you thought that jungkook knew you so well that he’d be surprised that you’re willing to go through with the pregnancy. he’s supposed to assume that you don’t want the baby and is supposed to be angry with you for wanting otherwise. you’re the career woman with no time for anyone or anything. yet, he shocks you by immediately reading you and realizing that you, in fact, want this child.
your lips part and you need a second to find your words, even though your answer is crystal clear.
“y-yeah. i do,” you admit, still searching for any sign of anger in jungkook’s expression.
instead, he nods and you see the tears welling up in his own eyes. he leans in and kisses you right in between your eyebrows, lips so careful and light.
“i’m with you. every step of the way.”
there isn’t a universe where jungkook doesn’t say this, not with the way he cares so deeply about you, but hearing the words aloud finally tears down your inhibitions, freeing them to the wind swirling around the two of you. the lookout seems so much warmer now and everything in the world is muted to the sounds of jungkook’s assurances. he means the words, too. he cups your face and makes sure that you know that he means it, with the way he looks at you.
you whisper, “i don’t mean to drag you into this -”
“- drag me?” jungkook laughs a little, shaking his head like he can’t believe his words. “it’s not like this was a one woman job,” he says wryly.
“this is a huge thing, koo,” you reply, shoulders sagging. “our lives will change forever after this.”
his next move surprises you.
jungkook suddenly hops off the hood of the car. you’re about to ask him where he’s going when he also tugs you off the hood, only to drop down to the ground. on one knee. in front of you.
you nearly jerk back in shock, eyes wide at the sight. before you can say anything, jungkook grabs your hand and interrupts you with your name - breathy and sharp at the same time.
“marry me. please.”
the world stops spinning on its axis when jungkook says these words without hesitation. the summer air smells like greenery and a mixture of salt and fresh water from the hudson river below, but you can only smell the fear underneath your skin. you hear cars passing by, but it somehow feels so far away. it’s like a bubble has formed, trapping you and jungkook in a imaginary place where only you and he exist and nothing else matters.
the bubble pops fast. this is jeon jungkook, your best friend since you were sixteen, on one knee in front of you and asking you to marry him. the ultrasound scan is still tucked underneath his arm. and you? you’re unsure of what’s even real.
“what?” you say, jaw hung wide open. if he wasn’t there, in front of you on the ground, you would have sworn you heard his question wrong.
jungkook doesn’t falter. “i want you to marry me.”
all your life, you’ve been making promises to jungkook. somehow, in the span of less than two months, it feels like you’ve failed to uphold every single one. even looking into his big, brown eyes that hold nothing but hope and courage, you don’t know if you even have the guts to make a new one.
warnings: public sex, oral(m! receiving), nipple play, nipple sucking, fingering, oc rides him, buffed namjoon who breaks oc underwear oops
wc: ~ 3.6k
The elevator doors slide open, revealing the quiet luxury of the penthouse. You step inside, kicking off your heels. The relief is instant as your bare feet hit the cool floor.
You and Namjoon bought this place a year ago. It was expensive, sure, but it was worth it. It’s your own little piece of heaven on earth, high above the noise of Seoul where you can just be together.
The best part is the spare room he converted into a studio. It means he doesn't have to spend late nights at HYBE anymore, so you actually get to see him before midnight. It makes the idol life feel a little more like a normal life.
It’s been a long day. You left when the sun was coming up, and now it is long gone. Your muscles ache, and all you want is to curl up against your boyfriend. “Namjoon?” you call out, dropping your bag on the bench. “Baby?”
Silence.
Walking further into the apartment, you pass the empty living room and enter the kitchen. Sitting in the center of the marble island, you spot a piece of paper torn from a notebook.
Writing. You know where to find me.
You smile, shaking your head as you set the paper back down. You know the drill. When he wants to lock in, he puts his noise-canceling headphones on and disappears from the world. If you call his name, he won’t hear you. If you stand in front of him, he might look right through you. Early in the relationship, you used to take it personally. Now, seven years in, you know it’s just how his brain works. You know how to bring him back.
Knowing exactly where he is, you glance toward the doors at the far end of the hallway. The terrace is his sanctuary when he wants the creative juices flowing.
You want to go check on him immediately, but you pause. It’s mid-May, and you’ve been running errands all day. The humidity outside has left you feeling sticky, sweat clinging to your skin, and you don’t want to wrap your arms around him like this.
A shower sounds perfect right now. You can wash off the day, slip into something more comfortable, and then go find him.
Heading to the master bedroom, you peel off your clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Once inside the en-suite, you step into the large glass shower and turn the handle. Hot water runs down your back, instantly helping your tight shoulders relax. Tilting your head back, you let the spray soak your hair as you sigh in relief.
Reaching for the bottle on the shelf, you wash up quickly. The smell of honey and vanilla body wash fills the steam. It’s his favorite scent on you. He always buries his nose in your neck after a shower, inhaling deep like it resets him. You scrub your skin until you feel human again, watching the soap swirl down the drain. After turning the water off, you step out onto the soft mat, reaching for a towel to dry off your damp skin.
Fresh from the shower, you slip into your favorite nightgown. It’s black silk trimmed with intricate lace that dips low in the front and stops high on your mid-thigh. You skip the bra but slide on a matching pair of lace panties, loving how the cool fabric feels against your clean skin.
Retracing your steps through the quiet apartment, you slide the glass door open and step out onto the terrace. Since you own the entire top floor, the space feels secluded. The city lights of Seoul glitter below like a sea of stars. Up here, you are hidden from the world.
Well, mostly.
If the neighbors in the high-rises across the way had a really good pair of binoculars, they might catch a glimpse, but what is life without a bit of risk?
Namjoon is sitting on the outdoor couch with his back to you, hunched over his notebook, clearly in the middle of a battle with his own lyrics.
You walk across the decking barefoot. He doesn't hear you approach.
Watching him for a moment, you see his pen moving frantically across the page before stopping abruptly. He scratches something out with aggressive strokes, running a hand through his hair in frustration. The deadline for the new songs is in a few weeks, and he needs to have the lyrics ready so the rest of the group can start recording. The pressure is clearly getting to him. You hate seeing his shoulders tensed up like that. You just want to smooth every worry line from his forehead.
Stepping up behind the couch you reach down, gently sliding one of the ear cups off his ear.
“Hey,” you whisper.
He jumps slightly, his head snapping around. “Hey,” he breathes, twisting his body to look at you properly. He takes his headphones off completely, setting them on the cushion beside him. “When did you get home?”
“About thirty minutes ago,” you say, leaning over the back of the sofa and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Saw your note.”
He lets out a heavy, defeated sigh that seems to deflate his whole frame. You reach out, caressing his cheek with your thumb. “What’s happening, Joon?” you ask softly.
He drops the pen on the table, rubbing his face with both hands as a groan escapes his lips. “I’m stuck, baby. Completely stuck,” he admits, letting his head fall back against the cushion.
You hate seeing him like this, even though you know it’s just part of the job. The creative process always drains him before it gives him anything back. Moving around the furniture, you step between his spread legs to offer comfort the best way you know how, climbing into his lap and straddling his thighs. The silk of your nightgown rides up high on your hips, exposing your legs to the cool air as you wrap your arms around his neck.
“Tell me about it,” you murmur.
“I’ve been out here all evening,” he complains, his large hands settling on your waist to grip you firmly. “I can’t finish one damn song. I have bits, phrases written down, but nothing makes sense together.”
He keeps talking, explaining the technicalities of the beat and the lyrics. It’s a cycle you know well. He needs to get the frustration out of his system before he can find the flow again. Listening quietly, you nod against his neck while pressing soft kisses to his jawline and cheek, letting him spill his thoughts. You know he doesn't need a solution. He just needs an anchor. He needs to remember he exists outside of the music.
Even though he’s frustrated with the song, his body reacts to you instantly. As he rambles, you start to move, rolling your hips slowly to grind your center against the growing hardness in his jeans.
He stops mid-sentence, his grip on your waist tightening as your movement distracts him from his spiraling thoughts. You pull back to capture his lips in a tender kiss, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck to hold him close. Breaking the kiss, you look him in the eye, smiling softly while your hips keep rocking against his erection.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” you ask, grinding down harder on his lap. “Maybe I can take your mind off it? Give you something else to focus on?”
Namjoon lets go of your hip, his index finger tracing a slow line from the sensitive skin of your neck down to your cleavage. “Mmm. I think that might work.” He drags his finger over the black lace covering your breast, circling your nipple through the fabric as he murmurs, “I think,” his eyes tracking the movement of his own hand, “we should start by getting you out of this.”
You laugh softly as he hooks his fingers under the straps of your nightgown and pushes them down your shoulders. The silk pools at your waist, leaving your tits completely bare.
“Beautiful,” he breathes, looking at you with hungry, needy eyes that make you feel like the only thing in the world for him right now. You love him when he gets like this, so focused and needy. As he grabs both tits, tweaking your nipples between his thumb and forefinger, you moan.
Lowering his head, he captures one nipple in his mouth, sucking while his arm wraps around your waist to hug you close. He pulls back for a second, lips wet and swollen. “Fuck, you taste sweet,” he whispers against your skin before diving right back in. “You smell amazing too.”
“That feels so good, Joon,” you whisper, your fingers tangling in the soft hair at the nape of his neck. “Mmm, so good.”
Releasing your nipple from his mouth, his hands move up to cup your face, thumbs brushing your cheekbones as he kisses you deeply. You pull back to reach for the hem of his t-shirt. He helps you by lifting his arms, letting you pull the fabric over his head and toss it aside.
You take a second to admire him. You catch the sparkle in his beautiful eyes and the hint of his dimples as he smiles at your inspection. You know this body better than your own. You know every scar, every mole, every dimple, every spot that makes him twitch. You love how big he’s been getting lately, the broad expanse of his shoulders and the thick muscles of his arms making you feel small and safe.
Grinding against him one last time, you stand up, letting the silk nightgown slide down your legs to pool at your feet. You step out of it, leaving you in nothing but a delicate lace thong.
“Are we really doing this right here?” Namjoon asks, a smirk tugging at his lips as he eyes your nearly naked body.
“What? Afraid someone will see the famous Namjoon of BTS getting his dick sucked by his secret girlfriend?” you tease, reaching for his belt buckle. “Do you want me to stop?”
It’s an old joke between you two. You’ve been together for seven years now and everyone at the company was fine with you going public, but you’ve always preferred to keep things low profile. You don't mind who he is to the world, but moments like this, out in the open air of Seoul, feel reckless in a way you usually avoid. But right now, you don't care about the world. You just want him to look at you.
He laughs, shaking his head. “Not a chance. Keep going.”
Dropping to your knees between his legs, you undo the buckle. Namjoon lifts his hips to help you shove his jeans and boxer briefs down to his ankles. He kicks them away and leans back against the cushions, spreading his legs wide to display his thick, heavy cock for you.
“Fuck,” he exhales, watching you wrap both hands around him.
You start pumping him slowly. “Tell me if that feels good,” you whisper, feeling how hard he is in your grip.
“You have no idea.”
Leaning forward, you swirl your tongue around the sensitive tip before sliding down. Even though you try to take as much as you can, your lips stretch tight around his girth, forcing you to pump the rest of the length with your hand.
Namjoon groans, his hands finding your hair. He gathers the strands gently, holding them back in a makeshift ponytail so he can see your face.
“That’s it, baby,” he praises. “You’re doing so good.”
You work him eagerly, bobbing your head while saliva coats his length to make it slicker. You know exactly how he likes it. You know the exact pressure to apply to the head, the exact speed that makes his toes curl. It’s muscle memory by now.
“You look so pretty with my cock in your mouth,” he murmurs, his thumbs brushing your cheekbones as you slide down. “God, I love you so fucking much.”
Hollowing your cheeks to suck him harder, you slide your free hand down to cup his balls, massaging them gently in your palm.
You pull off, your hand taking over to pump him. “What would everyone say if they caught us like this?” you tease, swirling your thumb over his wet tip.
He groans, his hips bucking into your hand. “Bet they’d say I’m a lucky bastard to have such a hot girl sucking my dick.” he grunts, his eyes filled with lust.
You hum, satisfied with the answer, and dive back down to take him deep into your throat again.
He hisses through his teeth as you take him deeper than before, your nose brushing against his pubic hair. You tighten your lips around the base, humming against the skin as you drag your mouth back up.
You love having this power over him. The genius leader, the man who speaks at the UN, reduced to a panting mess just because you’re using your tongue right. It makes your chest swell with pride. He is yours.
“Fuck, baby,” Namjoon breathes, his hands tightening in your hair to guide your pace. “Just like that.”
You don’t answer, too busy swirling your tongue around the head of his cock. You look up at him through your lashes, letting him see how much you love this. How much you love serving him.
“That’s right,” he growls, watching his cock disappear and reappear past your lips. “Taking my cock so well. So good.”
You make a wet, sloppy sound as you suck harder, one hand still working his balls. Namjoon’s hips snap up, fucking into your mouth.
“I’m gonna blow if you keep doing that,” he gasps, his hand tightening in your hair as your suction increases. “Stop. Baby, stop.”
You release him, sliding your mouth off with a wet suction sound.
“Just wanted to make sure you were ready,” you hum against his wet glans, pumping him a few times to spread the slickness. “You know how much I love sucking your dick.”
“Yeah, I know,” he breathes, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “And you’re too fucking good at it.”
Your knees protest at the hard decking as you try to stand. Seeing you struggle, Namjoon reaches out, his large hands gripping your waist to hoist you up effortlessly until you are standing between his spread thighs.
Namjoon sits up, pulling you closer until your inner thighs press against the sides of his face while you remain standing between his legs. He presses hot, open-mouthed kisses to your stomach, his hands wandering down to your waist as you run your fingers through his hair, scratching your nails lightly against his scalp.
“I want you to ride me,” he murmurs against your skin as his lips brush your belly button. “But I need to get this out of the way first.”
His hands slide down to your hips, hooking his fingers into the thin straps of your lace thong. Instead of sliding them down, he yanks them sideways, making the delicate fabric snap with a sharp sound.
You gasp, grabbing his shoulders for balance as the ruined lace falls to the floor. “Joon! That was expensive. I bought those in Paris!”
He looks up at you, grinning as his hands slide up your bare thighs to squeeze your ass. “I’ll buy you a new one. Hell, I’ll buy you a thousand more just so I can rip every single one of them off you.”
He starts teasing your clit with his fingers, rubbing the swollen nub until your knees shake.
“You’re so wet,” he whispers, sliding one finger inside you. “So ready for me.”
He pumps his finger in and out while pressing his face against your abdomen, kissing your belly button with hot breath on your skin. “I love you,” he mumbles against your skin.
“I love you too,” you breathe, running your fingers through his hair. He says it like a prayer, and you feel it in your bones. After all this time, he still touches you like it's the first time.
“You feel so tight,” he groans, adding a second finger to stretch you wider.
He pumps two fingers deep inside you, making you gasp as you rock your hips to meet his hand. The pleasure is becoming too much, making it difficult to stay on your feet as your knees buckle. He slides a third finger in as he works you open.
“I need to open you up,” he growls. “Get you nice and loose so you can take my cock deep. You know that, love. I don't want to hurt you.”
Your legs feel like jelly, barely holding you up. “I’m close, Joon...”
“That’s it, baby,” he murmurs, speeding up his hand. “Come on my fingers. Soak my hand.”
You shake and scream, climaxing on his hand as your orgasm hits. He slides his wet fingers out, leaving your thighs coated in your own juices. “Come here,” he says gently, guiding you back down.
You move to straddle his lap again, your knees sinking into the cushion on either side of his hips. Reaching down between your bodies, you wrap your fingers around his thick cock to line him up with your aching entrance. You sink down slowly, gasping as he stretches you open. He is huge, filling every empty space inside you. His large hands grip your waist, thumbs digging into your skin to help pull you down until you are seated firmly in his lap.
“Fuck, this pussy drives me nuts,” Namjoon groans, his head falling back as he adjusts his grip on your hips to settle you deeper. “So tight. Taking me so perfectly.”
Once you are fully bottomed out, you rest your forehead against his for a second to catch your breath, savoring the feeling of being stuffed full. He reclines back against the sofa cushions, spreading his arms to give you full control.
“Ride me,” he says, reaching up to cup your tits, weighing them in his palms. “Show me what you can do.”
You start to move, lifting your hips and dropping back down slowly. Your breasts jiggle with the motion, drawing his eyes immediately. He squeezes the soft flesh, molding you as you pick up the pace.
“I could write a whole song about this,” he says, his gaze locked on your chest. “About how good you look riding my cock. About how pretty your tits look bouncing for me. You ride me so fucking good, baby.”
You grin, moving faster to snap your hips against his. “We could make a music video too.”
“Yeah, and it would be a fucking award-winning performance,” he laughs, slapping your thigh. “Harder. Make those tits bounce more. Give me a good view.”
He lifts his arms, interlacing his fingers behind his head as he leans back against the cushions, biceps flexing as he watches you work.
Your moans get louder as the intensity becomes too much to handle. Your movements turn erratic, desperate and Namjoon notices immediately. He knows exactly what you need to tip over the edge. He always does. He reads your body better than he reads any book.
Sitting up slightly, he grabs your tits firmly in his large hands. He knows how sensitive you are there.
Tugging at your nipples, pinching and rolling them between his fingers. “I know you like that,” he growls, twisting his fingers to pull at the peaks. “You love me playing with your tits while you use my cock. Does it make you wet, baby? Having my hands all over them?”
“Yes! Namjoon!”
He gets rougher, pulling at your nipples while whispering in your ear.
“You feel so good,” he murmurs against your skin. “So wet and tight. Come on. Let me see you cum for me. Squeeze me dry.”
The combination of his thick cock hitting deep and the sharp stinging on your chest pushes you over the edge. You scream his name, climaxing hard. Your walls clamp down on him, milking him with every spasm.
“That’s it,” he praises, kissing your sweat-dampened temple. “Let go.”
Your internal muscles squeezing him are the final straw. Namjoon starts thrusting upwards, his hips snapping off the cushion to meet your downward slam. The friction burns in the best way.
You come back to your senses enough to match his energy. You bounce harder on his dick, grinding down to take him as deep as possible. His hands tighten on your waist, fingers digging into your skin to hold you in place as he picks up the pace.
“Fuck,” he gasps, throwing his head back against the sofa cushion as he drives up into you. “I’m gonna– I’m gonna fill you.”
The words send a thrill straight to your core. You know it’s just talk, just a fantasy you both love, but hearing him say it with such raw need drives you wild.
“Do it,” you encourage him, breathless. “Cum for me. Fill me up.”
“I'm going to flood you,” he snarls, snapping his hips harder so his balls slap against your ass cheeks. He roars, slamming into you one last time. He buries himself to the base, pressing his pelvis tight against yours. You feel him spill into you, flooding your insides with thick spurts.
“Namjoon...” you whine, overwhelmed by the heat spreading through your belly.
He groans against your neck, his whole body trembling as he empties himself completely. He holds you tight, refusing to let you move, making sure you take everything he has to give.
You collapse against his chest, exhausted and blissed out. His heart thuds rapidly under your ear. He wraps his arms around you, one hand stroking your hair while he stays buried inside you, still twitching occasionally.
“You’re my muse,” he whispers, kissing the top of your sweaty head. “I think I just got the perfect idea for the lyrics.”
You smile, pressing a kiss to his chest. “You’ll owe me song credits for this.”
tropes: hockeyplayer!jungkook, richgirlie!oc, college!au, fwb, brother's best friend
rating: 18+
warnings: alcohol consumption, lots of teasing, jk hooking up with someone else 🤢, oc goes a bit insane <3, smoking (ew), angry koo 😠, messy blow job, spit, cum on boobies, gagging, multiple orgasms, cum play, dick slaps on face n pussy, doggy, overstimulation, dirty talk, eating out, hair pulling, mirror sex, doggy, a few spanks, sum butt stuff, oc is addicted to shopping 🫂 (we both need help), pretends to help with uni stuff just to get dick, naughty thoughts abt jk at dinner with friends??, vulnerable oc <3, proud jk <3
summary: pov: you’ve spent so long pushing jungkook away, but now you’re the one trying to pull him back in.
a/n: i hope this feeds ur tummies well ! 😋
masterlist
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“What is wrong with you?”
These being the first words Taehyung directs at you when you enter the kitchen at 9 in the morning makes you want to claw his eyes out and head back to bed again.
“I’d fight you if I wasn’t sleepy right now,” you mutter as you shove past him to get to the coffee machine.
“No, I’m being for real,” Taehyung says, inspecting you through critical eyes.
“I’m not wearing make-up. Get over it.”
“It’s not that,” he presses. “You’ve been acting strange the past few days.”
He catches you off-guard with that. You can’t think of a lie fast enough to cover up the fact that you’ve been kinda dumped by his best friend and are no longer fuck buddies, hard times, so you blink a few times to keep your composure.
Your brain, struggling to function at this hour, lands on the most groundbreaking response: “Huh?”
“You didn’t want chicken when I asked if I should bring you some yesterday.” Taehyung crosses his arms, leaning against the counter.
“I already ate when you called,” you quickly – maybe too quickly? You don’t know – defend yourself as you watch the coffee stream into your mug.
“Right. Tell me one time – just one – where you’ve turned down chicken.” He raises an eyebrow. “By the way, I still got you some. It’s in the fridge. But I knew something was up, because you never-”
“Wait, really?” you cut him off, perking up. “You got me chicken?”
You rush to the fridge, flinging the door open. There isn’t much in there to begin with, so it’s easy to spot your beloved meal. You grab it and get it ready for the microwave.
Taehyung completely ignores your excitement over the food and continues his questioning.
“You didn’t react when I switched one of your reality tv shows for something else the other day.”
Did he? You don’t even remember that happening.
“You came home after a long day. I was just being a sweet sister,” you deflect, waving him off.
“Point is – I can tell when my baby sister is sad. And I don’t need you to feign indifference for me, because it’s okay not to be okay,” he says, gentle. “And I wish you’d come to me about whatever this is to make you feel better, because, I don’t know, I thought that’s what we’ve been doing as siblings.”
Your heart squeezes.
He just wants to comfort you. Be there for you. And it clearly pains him that you’ve been keeping this from him.
“No, yeah, I know, it’s just.” God, you hate this. Having to lie to him. “It’s honestly not that serious, Tae. I’m just being dramatic about it, you know how I am.” You try to laugh it off, but he doesn’t let it deceive him.
“It’s about a boy, isn’t it?”
You need to tweak your acting skills. And your reactions too, because why did you look away after he asked you that?
“A boy?” You stretch the word out in an exaggerated drag to make his inquisition sound ridiculous. “There’s no boy in my life.”
“If I find out Eunwoo is causing trouble, I’ll-”
“God, no.” You shake your head vehemently. “He’s fine. He’s not doing anything.”
You retrieve the chicken from the microwave and set it next to your coffee. A questionable breakfast choice, but right now, comfort food is comfort food.
“Want some?” you offer, grabbing your chopsticks.
Taehyung sighs deeply, shaking his head. His lips press into a thin line, but there’s no anger – just concern softening his features. “Wanna talk about it?” He pauses, voice dropping lower. “Who do I have to fight?”
Your stupid best friend, who walked out on me because, apparently, he doesn’t like it when I’m with other boys and was so dramatic about it, but I lowkey do understand him because I don’t like seeing him with other girls too but I can’t tell him because I don’t want him to know that I care and maybe everything is my fault but I am sad and upset and I can’t tell you anything about it because you’d hate me for it.
You keep these thoughts to yourself though and bite into a piece of chicken instead.
“Tae, no.”
“To both of my questions?”
“Mhm-hmm,” you answer with your mouth full.
His shoulders slump in defeat.
Placing your chopsticks down, you step forward and wrap your arms around him.
“You’re an amazing brother, Tae,” you mumble against his chest. “And I promise that I’m doing fine. You’d know if I wasn’t. I think I’m just getting my period soon, honestly. I’ve been hating everything and everyone lately.” You squeeze him tight. “But I love you.”
“I love you,” he replies, resting his chin on your head. “You’d come to me if you needed me, right?”
“Of course. I love to annoy you about my problems.”
You feel his chuckle rumble through his chest.
“You’re coming to dinner with us after the game, right?”
You draw you head back slightly, peering up at him.
“Define us.”
Taehyung’s brows knit together.
“Like, everyone.”
You so don’t want to see Jungkook. It’s been a week since he left you confused in your room.
Detangling yourself from Taehyung, you shoot him an unimpressed pout. “I don’t know if I’m in the mood for that many people.”
“I’m not gonna let you lock yourself up in your room, ___,” he says, a slight edge creeping into his voice. “You can bedrot another day.”
He’s right – you probably should socialise a little more. And with so many people around, you might not even notice Jungkook’s presence.
“I’ll come,” you relent defeatedly, picking up your tray with breakfast. “Good luck with the game.” You reach up on your tippy toes to ruffle his hair with your free hand, earning an exasperated groan from him.
~
So, when you thought you could just ignore Jungkook at dinner, you failed to consider one crucial detail – the universe lives to humble you. Because, of course, out of all the empty seats, he had to take the one right next to you. Rookie mistake. Amateur behaviour. A tragic miscalculation on your part.
Now, you’re stuck playing the world’s most intense game of Pretending He Doesn’t Exist, which, unfortunately, is pretty difficult when he’s breathing in your general direction.
“Can you guys believe that I got a C for my essay?” Seokjin announces after chomping down a big piece of meat.
“Was it the one with the ducks?” Jungkook questions.
“Yeah, I was so excited to hand it in ‘cause I had so much fun writing, and then I get a C.” Seokjin tilts his head in remorse. “I was at a Lotte World parking lot when I got the notification, and it felt like someone stole my firstborn. I hope that never happens to me, I don’t think I could go through the emotions a second time. Honestly, not even the bumper cars could distract me after that.”
“Sure you don’t wanna sign up for drama class?” Taehyung teases. “You’d be such an asset to it.”
“I’m so close to doing it.”
“Wait, you wrote an essay about ducks?” you ask.
“Not just about ducks, silly,” Seokjin explains. “I wrote an essay on whether someone would rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck. You know, deep stuff like answering questions if it is morally better to fight one large opponent or many small ones.”
“What would the world do without you, Jin,” Yoongi chimes in.
“I’d choose one horse-sized duck, I think,” Eunji says, who thankfully sits next to you, so you’re not completely surrounded by people who you dislike (yes, you might’ve forced her to come with you – she wanted to study in the library, but you dragged her here with the promise of showering her with your never-ending love).
“But a duck so big is scary, no?” you ponder, tapping your chopsticks against your mouth as you think.
Listening in on your conversation, Jungkook says, “The horse-sized duck would be easier.”
You frown, turning to him. “That thing would be massive, and it’s a duck. Ducks are unpredictable.”
“Okay, but 100 duck-sized horses would overwhelm you,” he argues. “You’re assuming they’re just gonna stand there like cute little ponies. What if they’re really aggressive? They’d be all over you, biting, kicking. That’s chaotic.”
“How would you manage fighting a huge duck, though? I don’t see that happening,” you scoff.
“I’m not saying it wouldn’t be hard, but at least it’s just one thing to focus on. It’s straightforward.” Jungkook leans back, dragging his gaze over your face before he says, “But of course you’d prefer the more chaotic solution.”
You raise your eyebrows. “What are you on about?”
You’re talking about ducks and horses. Or so you thought.
Jungkook shrugs. “Nothing. I just think your decision is stupid.”
His eyes don’t waver, and you don’t back down either, because what the hell? Jungkook’s picking a fight over nonsense and has the audacity to glare at you like you personally offended him. His brows are drawn tight, frustration evident in the sharpness of his expression.
As you glare back, you can’t stop your brain from taking an unexpected detour to memories in which Jungkook wore a similar expression. On top of you, a little sweaty, cheeks flushed and – oh my god, you feel the heat rush to your cheeks and swiftly turn away.
“You’re annoying,” you mumble under your breath, picking up your chopsticks again.
Where did these thoughts come from? Do you miss him? It’s been one week. You need a distraction.
"See how riveting my essay topic is?” Seokjin chimes in, pointing his chopsticks at the two of you. “A C is criminally underappreciated.”
“I don’t think anyone can get under ___ skin like Jungkook,” Taehyung chuckles, placing more meat onto your plate.
“Oh no, don’t worry, you still take the first place,” you quip.
“Don’t say that too loud. Jungkook’s too competitive.”
“He’s a mini version of you.” You turn to Jungkook when you say it, scrunching your nose to display your dismay.
“There’s nothing mini about Jungkook,” Yoongi interjects.
The boys laugh while Eunji and you choke on your food.
“Okay, gross?” Eunji coughs.
“What? Have you not seen his muscles? He’s a big guy,” Seokjin defends, eyes wide as he studies Jungkook’s physique. “That’s no secret.”
“That’s why Sooyoung wants him again,” Jimin teases with a wicked grin stretching across his face.
“Oh, fuck off.” Jungkook kicks him under the table. “I said we’re not talking about this.”
At the mention of a name that rings a bell but you can't quite place it yet – one Jungkook clearly doesn’t want brought up – you perk up. “Not talking about what?”
It’s silent next to you.
Jungkook tenses, his posture stiff, the only giveaway a rough, forced clearing of his throat.
One game. You miss one game, and apparently, all the drama unfolds without you.
“You should’ve been there, ___,” Jimin drawls, eyes twinkling with mischief. “His ex was practically his personal cheerleader.”
Your brows lift as you turn to Jungkook. “Sooyoung, huh?”
You never got the chance to meet Jungkook’s ex. He was dating her during your senior year of high school, and they broke up while you were still in school.
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t look at you. Instead, he focuses way too hard on his plate, shoving a piece of meat into his mouth like it’s the most interesting thing in the world and then finishing his beer in a few, big sips.
Jimin, on the other hand, is thriving on the attention. “Oh, yeah,” he hums. “Front-row seat. Didn’t take her eyes off him.”
At that, Jungkook kicks him again, harder this time. “Can you not?”
“Oh, come on, man. It was cute.”
You tilt your head, watching Jungkook’s reaction. “And you didn’t like that?”
His eyes finally flick to yours, the slight curve of his mouth betraying him. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it, I just don’t want to talk about it.”
“She waited outside the locker room for him,” Jimin continues.
You hold back a roll of your eyes. You don’t care. You don’t care at all.
“Did she?” Eunji fuels the fire with her excited question.
“She said hi. That’s it,” Jungkook mutters.
Jimin snorts at Jungkook’s reply. “Man, that’s not what I saw.”
“And you,” Jungkook directs at Jimin. “You were eye fucking her friend the entire time, so don’t act all high and mighty when you could barely keep your hands to yourself.”
“Sue me!” Jimin exclaims. “Yeah, I do think her friend’s hot, lock me up for it. I need her ig handle or something. I wanna see her again.”
“You’re both hopeless,” you comment, nails tapping against your glass.
“Hey, if she’s hot, she’s hot.” Jimin shrugs, grinning from ear to ear. “You can’t blame me for appreciating the view.”
Yoongi gives him a pointed look. “I’m pretty sure you’ve been ‘appreciating’ the view from every girl in the restaurant for the last hour.”
Jimin laughs loudly, clearly unbothered. “Guilty as charged.”
“What else is new?” Eunji asks. “Besides Seokjin thinking being unhinged will get him an A in his philosophy class, Jungkook having an over-attached ex, and Jimin being a total playboy? Anything else exciting happened this week?”
“I bought a blind box today,” you announce. “And got upset because I didn’t get the one I wanted.”
“The sonny angel figures?” Jungkook asks casually – way too casually.
His tone is so easy, so natural, that for a split second, you forget, just like he forgot. You almost answer just as effortlessly, almost fall into the usual rhythm of conversation with him. But then it hits you—the sharp, perfectly timed reminder that you’re pissed at him.
So instead, you hesitate, fingers tightening around your glass. “Yeah,” you say, a little clipped “Those.”
“I say you stop spending so much money for dust-collecting shit,” Tae comments, and you don’t even have the chance to defend yourself, because Seokjin calls him out for his own questionable spending habits.
While they bicker, you giggle at their antics, distracted for a moment. You reach to dip your dumpling into the sauce, but just as your fingers hover above the dish, you brush hands with Jungkook, who was doing the same.
You kick his hand with yours, expecting him to pull back, but he doesn’t budge.
“Do you ever stop being annoying?” you ask.
“Not when the person I’m annoying is you.”
“You gonna be like this all night?” Your hand sinks, touching the table. “I thought you were mad and would want to ignore me,” you say, much quieter now, even though everyone else is too caught up arguing whether Taehyung’s fifa pack spendings are justified.
“Weren’t you trying to do the same?”
Well, yeah. You were trying to ignore him – that was the sole reason why you even came – but you somewhere along the way, you veered off that plan, and now here you are.
“I guess you’re just too pretty for me to ignore.”
Jungkook freezes at that. You use the opportunity to nudge his hand aside and dip your food into the sauce.
“Funny, didn’t seem to be a problem when you were texting that dude next to me the other day.”
Your chewing slows. The words hit exactly where he intended, sharp and precise, a reminder of exactly why he’s pissed in the first place.
The conversation around you carries on, oblivious, but between you and Jungkook, the tension is suffocating.
You pull away completely, shifting in your seat so your legs are angled away from him and into Eunji’s direction.
Ignoring him is easier, less of a headache – and less of a heartache – than acknowledging his existence.
~
Later that night, you drown yourself in reality tv, letting the mindless drama fill the living room and keep your thoughts from wandering to the interactions you had with Jungkook tonight, because you really need a break from that boy.
You and Eunji had left the restaurant before the boys, her excuse being that she wanted to study, and yours being that you’d had done enough socialising for the day and it was time to go back home. Yeah, you do realise that you have a self-destructive tendency to isolate when things get difficult.
So, here you are, curled up on the couch, journaling about feelings and situations and –
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
You freeze, pen hovering above the paper as the sound of the front door code being punched in echoes from outside. The lock clicks, and the door swings open.
A familiar head of dark hair peeks inside first, followed by annoyingly familiar second one.
“You’re still up?” Taehyung asks, shrugging off his jacket and toes off his shoes.
“Tae,” you say slowly, looking at Jungkook. “Why is he here?”
“Figured we’d hang for a bit more. Play some fifa together.”
“You figured?” You turn to Tae with a deadpan expression.
Taehyung shrugs. “He looked sad.”
“I didn’t look sad,” Jungkook mutters, finally stepping inside and shutting the door behind him.
“You looked all emo when everyone got up to leave,” Taehyung says.
“Whatever.” Jungkook rolls his eyes and heads towards the kitchen, like this is his house now.
You exhale through your nose, pressing your fingers to your temple. “Do we look like a halfway house for emotionally constipated men?”
Jungkook’s voice calls out from the kitchen. “I can hear you.”
“Good.”
“Please try and act civil while I go change,” Taehyung pleads, already disappearing down the hallway.
Jungkook emerges a second later, settling onto the couch, a glass of water in his hand. His tatted fingers wrap around it, long and steady, as he takes a sip. You watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs, the way his throat moves, how the tiniest droplet of water escapes before his tongue swipes it away – completely unbothered. Casual. Like he isn’t taking up too much space in your head already.
“Headache from all that beer?” you ask, trying – hoping – that you sound unaffected by whatever it is about him that’s making your stomach flip.
He exhales, tipping his head back against the couch, stretching his neck just enough to make it unfair. The angle sharpens his jaw line.
His gaze flickers to you. “Something like that.”
Jungkook looks at you. Really looks at you.
His eyes drag over your bare legs, stretched out in tiny shorts that are basically just suggestions of clothing. They hesitate on the curve of your thighs, the hem barely covering anything, before sliding up to the delicate strap of your camisole, the curve of your shoulder. His fingers tighten around the glass just enough for you to notice.
You meet his gaze, unblinking.
Jungkook’s fingers twitch.
You smirk, stretching deliberately, arching your back slightly as you reposition yourself.
And then – his eyes flick downward, landing on the open journal beside you.
You don’t think anything of it at first – until his brows furrow slightly, head tilting as he squints.
“Wait,” he mutters, leaning forward. “Did I just see my name in there?”
Your stomach drops.
Panic sets in at lightning speed.
You slam the journal shut so fast it’s borderline violent.
“Mind your business.”
Jungkook blinks, then grins, slow and smug. Oh, you hate him.
“There is literally nothing for you to see.”
“Oh, but there was something,” he muses, stretching an arm along the back of the couch like he isn’t about to drive you insane. “You wrote about me?”
You cross your arms. “What if I did?”
“Depends,” he says, just momentarily allowing his gaze to drop to your chest. “What exactly are you writing about me?”
Jungkook’s smirk deepens, eyes flicking between you and the journal.
“You’re acting awfully guilty right now,” he taunts, shifting slightly, his thigh pressing against yours.
“Because you’re being nosey.”
“No, because you’re hiding something.”
You roll your eyes, gripping the journal tighter. “You’re not that interesting.”
He hums, tilting his head. “Then lemme see.”
“Absolutely not.”
It happens so fast you barely have time to react. One second, Jungkook is sitting there, all relaxed and smug. The next, he’s lunging forward, reaching for the journal with one hand, the other bracing against the couch to trap you in place.
“Jungkook—stop!” you shriek, twisting away, holding the journal out of his reach.
But he’s relentless.
He shifts closer, practically caging you in, his body warm and solid against yours. His arm brushes your bare thigh as he reaches again, fingers grazing the cover. You twist further, laughing, but the movement only makes things worse—your back presses into the cushions, and suddenly, he’s right there, hovering over you, weight balanced between his knees and one hand pressed into the couch beside your head.
The laughter dies in your throat.
Because now it’s just you and him, tangled up, breathing the same air. His face is inches from yours, the heat of his body seeping into your skin, the scent of his cologne mixed with something distinctly him. His gaze flickers downward – just for a second – but it’s enough. Enough for you to feel the shift. Enough for the teasing to suddenly feel like something else entirely.
Jungkook swallows.
Your heart is in your throat.
His gaze drops to your lips.
You freeze.
His fingers tighten slightly where they rest near your hip. The journal is still caught between you, forgotten, and for the first time, neither of you moves to break the moment.
Until –
A door creaks open down the hallway.
You both jerk back at the same time.
Jungkook moves first, clearing his throat as he drops back onto the couch, running a hand through his hair like that’ll somehow erase the past ten seconds. You sit up just as Taehyung strolls back in, glancing between the two of you with mild suspicion.
“Did you guys kill each other yet?”
“Nearly,” you retort, fixing your hair.
Tae grabs two controllers and plops onto the couch next to Jungkook. “Why’d you scream?”
“Your idiot of a best friend is obsessed with me and tried to sneak a peek into my journal,” you huff, dramatically clutching said journal to your chest.
“Oh, boy,” Tae clicks his tongue. “She’s serious about this thing, Jk. Wouldn’t advise you to –” he waves a hand vaguely, “–poke the bear.”
Jungkook looks like he is actually considering telling Tae what he saw in your beloved journal. His lips party slightly, brows furrowing, before he shakes the thought off. Good for him. You wouldn’t even know where to begin explaining why Jungkook’s name is written in there.
Taehyung hands one of the controllers to Jungkook.
“Is this my cue to turn off my show?” you ask, lips forming a natural pout of disappointment.
“Sorry, spontaneous boys' night,” Tae says with a shrug.
“Please never say that again.”
Jungkook snorts, finally looking at you.
You raise a brow. Challenge him silently.
He just grins, popping his dimples, rolling his shoulders back like he has the upper hand.
God, you hate him.
You stay in the living room while they game – despite considering retreating to your room multiple times when Jungkook and Tae started yelling at each like an old married couple.
But you quickly realise how fun it is to mess with Jungkook, especially when he gets roasted for his lack of skills by an oblivious Taehyung. Which, judging by the way Jungkook’s jaw keeps ticking and his grip on the controller tightens, is absolutely getting to him.
“Want more snacks?” you ask sweetly as you rise to your feet, collecting the empty bowls. One slips from your grasp, landing on the carpet. You bend over to grab it, in front of Jungkook, and maybe, just maybe, you move slower than necessary. Maybe shifting your hips a little too much. Maybe giving him a view he definitely does not deserve.
Tae, completely unbothered, waves you off like a fly buzzing around his screen. “___, get out of the way,” he complains impatiently, fingers rapidly clicking on his controller. “But I’ll have some more chips, thanks.”
Jungkook, however, isn’t saying shit.
You glance over your shoulder, just in time to catch the flicker of his eyes meeting yours before he collects himself and redirects his attention back to the game.
“You good, Jungkook?” you ask innocently.
His nostrils flare. Through gritted teeth, he mutters, “Just move.”
So you do, slow and smug, your shorts sliding back over your thighs as you pad toward the kitchen.
Right as you’re reaching for the drawer, you hear Taehyung ask, “What are you gonna do about that Sooyoung girl?” Your movements slow. “You interested?”
The nosiness and urge to gossip definitely runs through your genes.
“Nah, I don’t want her back.”
When you glance back, Jungkook’s still focused on the game, but there’s something absent in the way he’s holding the controller – like he’s playing on autopilot.
“That bad, huh?”
“Just wasn’t that deep.”
You busy yourself with the drawer, fingertips grazing over the handle as you bite back the urge to comment. Just listen.
“You never really said why you two broke up.”
“No, I did tell you,” Jungkook says, easy but firm. “You just never believed me.”
“That’s because it always felt like there was more.”
“There wasn’t. We just didn’t fit.”
Didn’t fit how?
You open the drawer and grab more snacks.
“Yeah...I don’t know. You never seemed truly happy with her.”
Jungkook exhales sharply through his nose. "I wasn’t miserable," he finally says.
“You weren’t happy either.”
“I don’t know. Maybe I stayed with Sooyoung because it was easy. No drama. No real emotions involved.”
With the snacks in tow, you walk back to the living room. “That sounds really sad, Jaykay,” you say, not trying to hide that you’ve been listening to them.
He shrugs. “Maybe. But at least it didn’t mess with my head.” His gaze lingers on you. “Didn’t make me feel like I was losing my mind.”
“Fuck, no, if someone makes you feel that way – leave, immediately,” Taehyung says.
You grab a bag of chips, tearing it open as you lean against the side of the couch. “You guys done being dramatic yet?”
Taehyung glances over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes. “You’re still here?”
“I live here.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Unfortunately?” you repat. “You were the one who happily agreed when mum and dad suggested that I move in with you. I wanted my own place!”
“Oh no, the princess didn’t get what she wanted. How dare they?” Jungkook mocks you.
You faintly remember the discussion of moving into an even bigger place, where all three of you would live together, but Jungkook denied that idea back then, saying the dorm that his athletic scholarship is providing him is good enough for him.
You scoff, shoving his shoulder as you pop another chip into your mouth. “Okay, first of all, you don’t get a say in this. Second of all, I’m not a princess.”
Jungkook tilts his head, a smirk playing on his lips. “Sure you aren’t.”
Taehyung snorts, eyes still glued to the screen. “You literally whined for two weeks straight about not having enough closet space.”
“That was a valid complaint,” you argue. “You take up, like, half of it with your stupid jerseys.”
“They’re collectibles.”
“They’re ugly.”
Jungkook laughs, finally leaning back into the couch, looking far too amused. “I see living together is going great for you two.”
“Oh, it’s fantastic,” Taehyung deadpans. “Every day is a blessing.”
“You’re so dramatic,” you mutter, but you can’t help the way your lips twitch. “I liked this conversation more when you gossiped about Jungkook’s life.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, then jerks his chin toward Jungkook. “Dude, hurry up and lose so we can switch games.”
Jungkook, who has barely been playing at all, huffs. “I’m not gonna lose on purpose.”
“You’re already playing like shit,” Taehyung points out. “What’s up with you? Did Sooyoung get into your head or what?”
Why would he be thinking about her when – okay, you need to calm down. It’s not that serious.
You just need to call it a night, crawl into bed, and sleep it off.
“Heading to bed,” you announce, grabbing your journal from the coffee table.
“Alright, sleep tight,” Taehyung replies.
“Night, princess.” You flick the back of Jungkook’s head for that.
~
“Okay, very out of character for me, but we need to stop drinking for a sec and you need to tell me why the hell you keep looking back at Jungkook?” Eunji asks you all of a sudden, voice barely carrying over the muffled bass shaking the walls of the packed frat house.
The kitchen is one of the only semi-breathable spaces in the frat house, though the counters are a war zone of spilled liquor, sticky cups, and questionably abandoned drinks. The air reeks of cheap booze and sweat, but none of that is stopping Eunji from interrogating you.
You blink perplexed. “Out of character for you?” you ask back, eyeing the way she pulls back the cup you were just mixing a drink in. “I think that is very true to your character – very you. I’d be out of character for me to stop us from drinking.” You snatch back your cup.
“Did I say that?” She’s lost in her mind for a moment. “I don’t even remember. Am I that drunk already? I don’t wanna wake up hungover tomorrow.” She laments. “I still got this assignment due, and I wanted to get most of it done tomorrow, but – oh my god. Do not distract me from the question I just asked you.” She stares at you with sharp eyes. “Why do you keep looking back at Jungkook?”
“Am I?”
She huffs. “You don’t get to play this game with me, ___.” She pokes your tummy. “Answer me.”
You fully turn to her, abandoning the cup with the godawful alcohol mix – yes, it’s your creation, no, you’ve never had any talent for mixing drinks.
“I might have to tell you something.”
Her eyes widen. Immediately. Mouth opening in an unbelievable expression of pure, unfiltered drama. One that belongs in a reality show confession booth.
“Shut up. You did not – did you? Oh my god, shut up!”
“We might have hooked up for, like, a good few months.”
Her palm flies to cover her mouth. “Behind Taehyung’s back?” she whisper shouts.
“Well, obviously.” You point to yourself. “You think I’d be alive if he knew? You think he’d be alive if Tae knew?”
“You whore!”
“For Jungkook? Kinda,” you admit defeatedly.
You take a glimpse into his direction. Eunji shoves you on the shoulder for that.
“Don’t make it obvious!” she exclaims. “But you need to tell me everything. Right now.”
You sigh, leaning against the counter.
“The first time we hooked up was before I enrolled in uni. It was the summer before when Tae and Jungkook spontaneously visited and-“
“Okay, I need you to stop,” Eunji interrupts, fingers massaging her temples. “The summer before uni?” she repeats, exasperated. “You’ve been keeping it a secret since summer? I need more booze before you continue.”
“I’m sorry for not telling you, but we didn’t want anyone to know. He’d be pissed if he knew I told you.”
“No, don’t be sorry. I get it, I really do. I just didn’t expect this at all.” After pouring something inside her cup, she takes big gulps from it.
“I mean, what was I supposed to do? He’s hot, he’s pretty, and I’ve had a crush on him since, like, forever. I had to give in when he showed interest. What’s a girl gonna do?”
“How have you been able to keep it from Taehyung? They’re with each other 24/7.”
“He comes over when I know Tae’s gonna be out for a while. Or the other way around,” you reply, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “You can make anything work if you really want to, and I really wanted Jungkook.”
Still do, if you’re being honest.
You pause, then wave it off dramatically. “But that’s ancient history. We’re totally over that weird situationship.”
“What?!” Another shocked gasp escapes her. “Why?!”
“I don’t even know, to be honest. He just – we fucked, and then he...I dunno.” You grab your cup and down the rest of your drink, grimacing at the taste of whatever you concocted. “He got mad at me for texting Eunwoo after we had sex. I didn't even think he’d be all sensitive about it, especially since, you know, he’s with other girls too. But he got so pissed and we argued. And guess what?!” You throw your arms out, face dramatically incredulous. “He just leaves me in bed! Like, straight up walks out, saying stupid shit like I sleep around and only text him when I’m bored. Acting like we’re some exclusive thing, which we’re not! How dare he get so upset?” you argue theatrically, voice rising in pitch. “I’ve got better shit to do than this,” you mimic in Jungkook’s deep voice, eyes rolling for extra effect. “He’s so annoying.”
Eunji scrutinizes you for a brief moment before coming to her conclusion.
“Oh, he wants you bad.”
“Huh?” Your brows furrow. “He left me.”
“Because he wants you two to be exclusive and you don't. Why should he stay?”
Why should he stay?
You stare at Eunji, her words settling over you like an unwanted truth.
“He did ask me to be exclusive before,” you admit, twirling the empty cup in your hands. “But I always thought it would be a bad idea. Because being exclusive is so much more serious, and I want to be anything but serious with him. We don’t work that way. I can’t have that happening and risking Tae finding out. It would ruin everything.”
Eunji gives you a long, unimpressed look. “But being exclusive friends with benefits doesn’t have to mean more. It could just stay that way. Why do you always make things complicated?”
You huff, frustration bubbling up. “I don’t know.” You drop your forehead against her shoulder.
She pats your back like you’re a lost puppy.
“You’re and idiot, babe.”
“I know.”
“You also like him.”
You groan into her shoulder. “Shut up.”
“Just saying,” she singsongs.
It’s only now that you realise just how much you needed this – to talk to someone. To get all these tangled thoughts out of your head instead of letting them fester in silence. You’ve spent so much time convincing yourself that none of it mattered, brushing it off like it was nothing, but saying it out loud makes it real. And weirdly, that feels... good. Cathartic, even. Like exhaling after holding your breath for too long.
“Do you think I should-“ You start to lift your head, but Eunji pushes you back down with a firm hand.
“Everything will be fine, ___,” she babbles, patting your head a little too aggressively. “Just, you know, don’t be too sad.”
“What are you on about?”
“Just stay here for a sec.”
“Eunji.” You force yourself out of her grasp.
She’s looking somewhere past you, eyes flickering toward the living room, but when she realizes you’ve caught on, she quickly averts her gaze. Too quickly. Suspiciously.
You turn around, scanning the area to find what she doesn’t want you to see.
Your tummy churns in an instant when you see it.
Jungkook.
Heading up the stairs.
With Nayeon.
Even in the hazy lighting of the party, he stands out – broad shoulders wrapped in a dark, well-fitted tee, his silver chain glinting against his collarbone. He moves effortlessly, the easy confidence in his stride something you know all too well. His hand rests low on Nayeon’s back, fingertips grazing the thin fabric of her dress as she leans into him, whispering something into his ear.
The words leave your mouth before you can even think. You grab Eunji’s cup and down the last of her drink, but the alcohol does nothing to wash away the bitter taste in your mouth.
Your eyes scan the room frantically. “Wasn’t Eunwoo somewhere here too?” You rise onto your toes, searching the sea of bodies. “I think I just need to get my mind off things.”
“Oh, no, no, no, no,” Eunji immediately cuts in, grabbing your wrist before you can make any rash decisions. “We are not doing this.”
“Doing what?”
She levels you with a look. “You are not about to make a dumbass decision just to get back at Jungkook. Not on my watch.”
“I really, really hate him right now.”
“I know,” she soothes. “But no petty comebacks for situations where we absolutely do not need to make fools of ourselves, yeah?”
Your brain is screaming at you to make Jungkook feel just as shitty as you do, to do something reckless and distracting, but deep down, you know Eunji’s right.
You steal another glance at the staircase. They’re gone.
The realization sinks in, and suddenly, the air in the frat house feels suffocating. The bass of the music thrums in your chest, the chatter around you blurring into an overwhelming hum.
“I need air,” you mutter, pushing past Eunji before she can stop you.
She sighs but doesn’t follow. She knows you need a moment alone.
You slip through the crowd, weaving your way toward the back door. The night air hits you instantly, cool against your heated skin, but it does little to settle the storm raging in your chest.
Leaning against the railing of the porch, you inhale deeply, forcing your nerves to settle.
This is fine.
~
“Can you promise you won’t puke on me?”
“I mean, I can, but I don’t know if I can keep the promise.”
You spotted Chanyeol with another guy—Jackson, you think—smoking and went over to chat with them. It wasn’t until they finished their joint that curiosity got the best of you. One thing led to another, and Jackson went inside to roll you one. Now, all three of you are standing outside, two pairs of curious eyes fixed on you.
“She’ll be fine,” Jackson says as he exhales a slow stream of smoke, watching it curl into the night air.
Chanyeol eyes you warily as he sparks up your joint. “I don’t know how much you drank tonight, but please tell me if you feel sick.” He holds it out for you.
You hesitate for half a second before taking it between your fingers. It feels weird, unnatural. “So I just…?”
“Inhale, but not too hard. Hold it for a second, then let it out,” Chanyeol instructs.
You follow his guidance, pulling in a slow drag. The taste is harsher than you expected, earthy and a little burnt, making you cough almost instantly.
“Classic first hit,” Jackson says, but it’s not as reassuring as he thinks. “Give it a sec.”
“How do you feel?” Chanyeol asks, watching you closely.
“Feels very icky,” you tell him, nose scrunched up. “But I’m feeling okay.”
“Yo, Jackson!” some dude yells from the back. Jackson disappears, leaving Chanyeol and you alone.
“You sure you’re fine?”
The night air feels heavier now, the music from inside muffled like you’re hearing it through a wall. Your fingers tingle slightly, warmth spreading through your limbs. You shift on your feet, suddenly hyper-aware of the way your body moves.
You blink at him. “I think my brain is moving slower than my body.”
He laughs. “Yeah, that happens. Just ride it out.”
You exhale, watching the smoke swirl in front of you.
“The fuck?”
Your head snaps toward the voice.
Jungkook stands a few feet away, brows furrowed, looking like he just walked into some kind of crime scene. His eyes flick between you and the joint in your fingers, then to Chanyeol, before settling back on you.
For some reason, your eyes wander to his hands. He’s probably touched so many things tonight, so many body parts. Did he wash them?
“The hell you’re doing?” Jungkook asks, walking towards you.
“Uhm, having fun?” you try, watching his frown deepen.
“This is not something you do, ___.” Jungkook directs his glare at Chanyeol. “Why the fuck would you give this to her?”
“Fuck, Jungkook, if you wanna be angry be angry elsewhere,” Chanyeol says, rolling his eyes.
“You fuck off,” Jungkook counters.
“As if you have never smoked.” Chanyeol raises his brows.
“I don’t smoke.”
“Trying to maintain a squeaky-clean image for those scouts who might be watching?”
“Mind your fucking business.”
“Jungkook, you’re being rude.” You turn to him, pointing a finger at his broad chest. “You’ve been going around, having fun yourself but can’t let other people have fun. That’s not nice of you.”
You stare up at him, a sullen pout on your mouth before pulling another slow drag and trying hard to not cough, but a small cough slips out anyway.
“Get that shit away, ___,” Jungkook demands, unimpressed by the smoke surrounding his face.
“Why do you care? Lemme have fun.”
“This shit fucks with your head.”
My brain’s already fucked, you think. Thanks a lot.
“It’s just weed?”
“Taehyung will lose his mind.”
“Is Tae with us now?”
Jungkook arches his brow.
“Oh, you wouldn’t.”
“Stop right now or I’ll call him.”
You hold his gaze, daring him. “You’re bluffing.”
Jungkook pulls his phone out of his pocket without hesitation, thumb hovering over the screen. “Try me.”
You wait, staring at Jungkook’s screen until he actually calls Taehyung.
Before the call can connect, you groan and shove the joint into Chanyeol’s hand. “God, fine, I’m done.”
He hangs up before Taehyung can answer.
You glare at him, but he only tilts his head toward the house. “Let’s get you some water.”
He guides you towards the house with his hand splayed across your side. At first, you shy away from his touch, mind racing with thoughts you’d rather not acknowledge. But as the night air presses cool against your skin, you let yourself relax, leaning into him slightly as you walk up the stairs.
“You’re so mean, you know that?” you huff.
“I’m just looking out for you,” he replies, in a softer tone than before.
“You didn’t have to be mean with Chanyeol. It wasn’t his weed. Chanyeol was actually very kind, made sure I was feeling okay-“
Jungkook stops at the threshold of the house.
“I’m gonna have a little chat with Jackson.”
“How do you know-“
His hand slips from your waist. He turns, leaving you standing on the porch, and disappears in the crowd.
Because that’s just easy for him – leaving you.
Why should he stay?
You don’t care.
You don’t care.
And if you keep telling yourself that, maybe – just maybe – you’ll start to believe it.
~
Flash forward a week, and you can now say –proudly, with your full chest – that you do care.
You’ve never not cared. Pretended? Yes. But gotten over it? Not even close.
Which is why it’s not surprising that you find yourself at yet another party, drink in hand, scanning the room without meaning to. Or maybe you do mean to. Maybe you want to see him. Maybe you want him to see you. Maybe you want him to know that he didn’t get to you. Even though he did.
You’re sunk into the couch, surrounded by your friend group, half-listening as they go on about today’s hockey practice – boy gossip, oh how you love it.
“Coach told him he’s probably getting benched next game,” Jimin says, shaking his head as he leans back against the couch. “Too many penalties last match. Dumbass just keeps throwing hits for no reason.”
“That’s what happens when you let your ego get ahead of you,” Jin chimes in, stretching his legs out. “Coach is tired of his shit. And honestly? Fair.”
“I heard he almost fought Yoongi in the locker room,” Taehyung adds, arching a brow as he takes a sip of his drink. “Over something stupid too, like warm-up drills.”
“Swear to God, that guy needs to chill,” Jimin scoffs. “He’s got all the talent, but he plays like he’s trying to prove something every damn game.”
When Taehyung gets up to grab himself another drink, you catch him by the sleeve.
“Can you get me one too, please?” You hand him your empty cup.
Taehyung eyes the cup. “You’ve been drinking a bit more lately.”
“It’s just my second drink?”
His sharp eyes linger on you for a moment before he reluctantly takes your cup and walks off. He hasn’t missed the shift in your behaviour these past few weeks. You try to hide it, but there’s only so much you can do.
“Could say the same thing about Jungkook, though,” Jin says.
Jin’s words linger in the air, but you don’t dare react.
“Jungkook’s always been like that,” Jimin says, tipping his drink back. “Plays like he’s got something to prove, but I guess he kinda does. He wants to go pro, so it’s not like he can afford to slack off.”
It’s stupid, silly even, how easily his name can unravel you. How even when he’s not here, he’s everywhere.
“Isn’t your dad gonna come to the next game?” Jimin directs at you.
You shrug. “Maybe? I dunno.”
Given that your dad is an NHL executive, former team owner, he tries to find time in his busy schedule to attend the hockey games. The boys probably see him more than you do.
“Where is Jungkook anyway?” Hobi asks. “Is he gonna come over at all?”
Dear god, you hope, pray, he won’t.
You can’t live through seeing him disappear with another girl upstairs. You don’t have Eunji with you today to keep you from doing reckless decisions.
“He’d be all over Nayeon anyway. Doubt he’d even remember we exist,” Jin chuckles, unknowingly ruining the rest of your night.
The sound of their laughter grates against your nerves. The more you sit here, the more unbearable it becomes. The thought of him, of her, of what they could be doing, poisons your mind until you can’t take it anymore.
Taehyung returns, pressing a fresh drink into your hand. He barely gets a word in before his gaze sharpens. “You okay?”
You nod stiffly. “Yeah.”
“Liar.”
His voice is quiet enough that no one else hears, but it makes your stomach flip. He knows you too well. And if you sit here any longer, he’s going to drag the truth out of you, whether you like it or not.
So you stand abruptly, mumbling something about fresh air before slipping through the crowd, out into the cool night. The moment you’re alone, you let out a breath, pressing your fingers to your temples. It doesn’t help. Nothing does.
Before you can talk yourself out of it, you pull out your phone, scroll down to the name you should ignore, and press call.
Jungkook answers on the second ring.
“Did you call me on accident?”
You ignore his question, your fingers tightening around your phone as you shift your weight from one foot to the other. Instead, you ask, “Are you gonna come to the party?”
“No, I have some assignments to do,” he answers, hesitantly. “Why’d you ask?”
“Are you sure?” Your eyes close, waiting for the confirmation that you won’t have to see things (Jungkook and a girl that isn’t you) that you don’t want to see (him hooking up with someone that isn’t you).
“Yeah, positive.” There’s a pause, and then he adds, “Is there something you don’t want me to see? Or—wait, are you just making sure I won’t be around to ruin your night?” Jungkook laughs and you realise how you’ve missed that sound. “It’s your lucky day. You won’t see my face poking around in the crowd. You can have fun.”
You frown at the nonsense he’s saying. He couldn’t be more off.
“No, you don’t get it.”
“What am I not getting?”
You stare into the night sky, the stars blurred by the city lights. You consider hanging up, letting the moment pass, but then you remember what Eunji told you. Talk to him. Get the discomfort out of the way.
“You know I’m not an insecure person.” You cross one arm over your body, rubbing your bare skin against the rising cold. “Like, I’m confident in who I am. I don’t compare myself to others because, y’know, I don’t care enough about stuff like that.”
“Yeah, of course I know that. You’re a confident girl. Have always been.”
“But you know what makes me go crazy?”
“What?”
“Seeing you with someone else.” The words slip out before you can catch them, but now that they’re out in the open, you can’t take them back. You don’t want to. Or – I dunno if it’s just that. I want you to want me. And you don’t. Which I get, I’ve been a bit shitty, so you deserve to want someone that isn’t like me, but – it just makes me go a bit insane, because I thought you did want me again the other night. At my place.” Your voice drops on the last sentence, barely above a whisper. “But then I see you with Nayeon and you just don’t care.”
You take a break, trying to organise your thoughts, but it’s fruitless because it’s just a tangled mess up there.
“Eunji said to talk with you but still give us a bit time, but oh my god I just want it to be okay between us again. I’m feeling so confused, and I don’t even really know what’s going on, but all I know is that I want things to be like before. When you still wanted me, and I wanted you and everything was good, easy,” you say, exhaling a helpless breath. “Do you think that’s possible?”
It’s silent for a beat. You don’t blame him – you couldn’t recite half the stuff that just poured out of your mouth.
“Fuck, ___.” He sounds a bit helpless himself.
Jungkook sighs on the other end, and you hear the faint rustle of fabric, like he’s shifting, maybe running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to say to that,” he finally admits.
“Say anything,” you murmur.
“What do you want me to do, ___?” His voice is quieter now, more controlled, but there’s something simmering beneath the surface. “Stop seeing other people? Pretend like none of this ever happened? Or do you just want me to tell you that, yeah, I still want you?”
Your breath hitches. “Do you?”
“I thought I made that obvious,” he mutters. “But every time I think we’re on the same page, you pull away and act difficult. So, forgive me if I stopped trying to figure you out.”
“I don’t mean to act difficult.”
“Then why do you?”
You don’t have an answer. Or maybe you do, but you’re scared to say it.
Jungkook waits, but when you don’t respond, he lets out a dry laugh. “You know what’s funny? I wasn’t even gonna go to the party tonight. But now I kinda want to.”
“Why?”
“Maybe I wanna see what happens when you have to look me in the eyes.” His voice is lower now, rougher. “Because talking like this? It’s too easy for you.”
“No, don’t come.” You think of the worst-case scenario – arguing with Jungkook, him getting frustrated, turning to Nayeon because she’s easier, likes her more than you. And you couldn’t stand seeing that.
“Or maybe do, if you want,” you add, voice quieter. “I think I’m gonna leave anyway. Wanna go home.” Avoiding situations – your strong suit.
“How much have you had to drink?”
You stare at the untouched drink in your hand before lifting it to your lips. The sweetness hits first, masking the barely-there burn of alcohol (thanks, Tae). “Starting my third drink now.”
“I can walk you home,” he offers.
“It’s not a long walk to my place. You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” A rustle of movement on the other end before he adds, “On my way right now.”
“I’ll wait at the front for you.”
You weave your way back inside the house to find Taehyung, who’s still in the living room chatting with one of his teammates.
“Gonna go home, Tae,” you say, your voice cutting through their conversation. He glances up, distracted for a moment, before raising an eyebrow. “Also, here–” You hand him the drink he made for you. “This is not fun to drink at all.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes at your sassy comment but takes the cup from your hand. “Learn how to enjoy a party without getting drunk.”
“You tell me to get out of my room more, and when I do, this is what you say? Pick a side,” you grumble.
“Why do you wanna go home?” His fingers adjust the top of your strapless dress absentmindedly as he asks. “You okay?”
“Eh, just a bit bored.”
“We’re gonna play truth or dare in a bit,” Taehyung’s friend pipes up, raising his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner. “Maybe you should stick around.”
“I think I’ll skip,” you say. “But please do me a favour and fill me in on all the drama I’ll be missing out on.”
He winks at you. “Will do.”
“I’ll walk you home,” Taehyung says, stepping towards you.
You know he won’t allow you to go home by yourself, so you opt for telling him the truth. “Jungkook’s coming to take me home.”
“Jungkook?” he asks, surprised. “Did you call him?”
“Yeah, I asked him. Didn’t wanna annoy you. Go have fun doing...” You glance over at Jimin and Hobi, who are holding an impromptu drinking competition. Hobi’s attempting to chug straight from a bottle of something clearly too strong for him, while Jimin’s pretending to be the host of a weird, offbeat game show. “...whatever that is,” you finish, trying to hold back a laugh.
“You really can’t leave those two alone for a second, can you?” Taehyung lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Tell Jungkook to swing by here once he drops you off.”
“He didn’t sound like he was in the mood to stop by, but I'll tell him.”
“Text me when you get home, yeah?” he says over his shoulder, already walking back toward Jimin and a very much unconscious Hobi, who’s sprawled out on the couch looking like he’s had one too many rounds.
~
Jungkook finds you almost immediately. You barely have time to register his presence before he’s already slipping his zip hoodie over your shoulders, his hands smoothing over the fabric like he’s tucking you in for the night.
“You should’ve waited inside,” he mutters, fingers lingering at the collar like he’s seriously considering zipping it up for you too.
You swat his hands away, glancing around quickly. “Jungkook, don’t – everyone’s watching.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Who’s watching?”
You look over your shoulder. “I dunno. People.”
Jungkook huffs a laugh, stepping closer. “Right. Because me making sure you don’t freeze to death is so scandalous,” he jokes. “But smoking weed the other day was okay to do outside? With all the people there?”
“As a friend you’re supposed to forget my mess-ups, not remind me of them.” You huff, faintly remembering when you tried weed for the first time. You did puke that night. Luckily not on Chanyeol. “You didn’t have to come,” you grumble, even as you tug the hoodie tighter around yourself, his warmth and the faint scent of his detergent wrapping around you like a second skin.
“I know,” he says, tilting his head. “But I wanted to.”
And then, because he’s annoying, he reaches up and tugs the hood over your head, effectively swallowing half your face in fabric.
You let out a muffled noise of protest, pushing it back down immediately. “Stop that.”
Jungkook just grins, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he starts walking. “You look cute like that, though.”
You glare at him but fall into step beside him anyway, the hoodie still draped around you like it belongs there. The night air nips at your skin, but his warmth lingers, and you swear he notices the way you pull the sleeves over your hands like it’s yours.
“So…” His voice is quieter now. “What you said on the phone earlier.”
Your stomach twists. “What about it?”
“I just—” He starts, then pauses. “I don’t know what you want from me, ___. One second, you’re pushing me away, and the next, you’re telling me you can’t stand seeing me with someone else. You –” He falters, his voice catching slightly. “Do you even know what you want?”
“I know that you ruined me for other boys, for one,” you say, sighing deeply before you continue. “I want things to be like before,” you reply. “When everything wasn’t so…” You gesture vaguely. “Complicated. I don’t like this. And I don’t like how I feel when I see you with –” You cut yourself off before the name can leave your lips. He knows anyway.
Jungkook watches you carefully, hands still stuffed into his pockets, shoulders slightly hunched. “I wasn’t trying to rub anything in your face,” he says after a pause. “I didn’t think it’d… affect you.”
“Well, it did,” you say, a little too fast, a little too defensive. “And I hate that it did, because it’s not like I have a right to be mad about it.”
Jungkook tilts his head. “Don’t you?”
That stops you in your tracks.
Because – do you? You don’t know what this is, don’t know what you want from him except for more. More of his attention, more of his time, more of him. But not all of him, right? Because that would mean–
“God,” you mumble, rubbing your hands down your face. “Why are you making me say things?”
Jungkook chuckles, nudging your side. “You called me, remember?”
You groan. “Worst decision I’ve ever made.”
“Harsh.”
“Accurate.”
Jungkook lets out a short laugh, but then he’s quiet for a beat before he says, “Look, I don’t wanna play games. If you want me, then say it.”
You swallow. “I do.”
“But we don’t want each other like that,” he adds.
“Yeah, no.” You chew on your lip, pulling his hoodie tighter around yourself. “I just… don’t want to see you with other people. And I don’t want to pretend that it doesn’t bother me.”
“I don’t wanna see you with anyone else either.” Jungkook exhales, running a hand through his hair. “You want to keep fucking but be exclusive.”
You wince. “Could you not say it like that?”
“What, say it like the truth?”
You purse your lips, staring at him. “Is it a no?”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a second. Then, he sighs. “It’s not a no. I’ve been asking you for this, and you always pushed me away.”
“You know am not good with serious conversations. I like it when things are easy.” You cross your arms, trying to shield yourself, but your eyes can’t help but flicker towards him. “I don’t mean to push you away,” you admit. “I just– I get scared.”
His lips part slightly, like he wasn’t expecting that. And then – without a word – he reaches out, pulling the hoodie up so the zipper meets your chin, like he’s tucking you in.
Your heart trips over itself. “What are you doing?”
He grins, hands still lingering near your collar. “Making sure you don’t run away before you finish talking.”
“I wouldn’t run,” you protest.
Jungkook raises a brow.
“…Okay, maybe I would,” you mutter.
His grin softens into something fonder. “Well, you didn’t,” he says simply. “You’re talking to me now.” His thumb brushes over the fabric near your shoulder. “And I know that’s not easy for you.”
Your face grows hot. You roll your eyes, looking away. “Okay, don’t be nice about it.”
Jungkook laughs, bumping your forehead lightly with his. “Sorry, can’t help it. I’m proud of you.”
Your stomach flips. You shove at his chest. “Ugh. Shut up.”
He just laughs harder, catching your wrist before you can push him again. “Too late.”
You elbow him, but he catches your arm, smirking as he tugs you closer. “So that’s it?” His voice drops slightly. “You’re mine, and I’m yours, but we don’t call it anything?”
The words send a shiver down your spine. Mine.
“…Yeah,” you say. “Something like that.”
Jungkook hums, his grip on your wrist loosening but not quite letting go. His fingers brush against yours for a second before he shoves his hands back into his pockets.
“Just stay with me.” You glance at him. “Don’t leave.”
“I’ll stay. Don’t worry.”
You continue walking, the quiet hum of the streetlights and distant city noise filling the silence.
“Taehyung said he wants you to stop by at the party once you drop me off,” you tell Jungkook, letting the information hang in the air before you ask, “But hang out with me instead?”
“You know, I was doing very important things before you called.”
“You never do uni stuff and this is the day you’re deciding to do a personality rebrand?”
“What do you mean? I’m on top of my grades...Kinda.”
You huff at his response. “Then, I dunno. Wanna be nerdy together? I can help you with your assignment.”
You’re pretty sure your marketing major and fashion design minor won’t do much to help him with stats, but you’re definitely down to stick around just to be close to him.
“I don’t think you can, but being nerdy together sounds extremely intriguing, so come on.” He holds his hand out for you and drags you the other way around to his dorm.
It’s not far, just a few blocks over, but the way his fingers loosely wrap around yours makes the walk feel shorter.
~
Here’s how the rest of the night goes: Jungkook, the ever exemplary student, continues working on his assignment, while you – an accomplished liar who successfully deceived Jungkook into believing you would help him – pretend to help for all of five minutes before succumbing to the far more important task of online shopping for cute clothes.
It’s being nerdy together (your version).
Every so often, he glances at you, probably wondering if you’ll suddenly become useful. You do not. Instead, you kick your feet up on his bed, adding yet another item to your cart that you definitely don’t need.
Your thumb hovers over the screen, eyes locked on the top that has no business being so cute. A strapless, velvety pink crop top. The entire front is held together by a line of sparkling, rhinestone heart clasps, leaving slivers of skin exposed.
“Do you think this is cute?” You turn your phone toward Jungkook.
“Very pretty.” Jungkook nods in approval, until his eyes flick down to the price. “What the fuck, ___.”
“What?” Add to cart. “It’s cute, no?”
“You’re a terrible study partner,” he mutters, typing on his laptop.
“I never claimed to be one,” you say, scrolling past a top that you absolutely do need. “Isn't being in my presence motivating enough?”
Jungkook snorts. “Right. I’m so motivated by your commitment to retail therapy.”
“Good,” you say, adding another item to your cart. “Then I’m doing my job.”
You watch him work on his assignment, your gaze drifting to his hands resting on the keyboard. His fingers are long and lean, the veins running along his wrists just noticeable under his skin. It's like every little movement is getting your attention, and suddenly, all you can think about is how good those hands would feel on you.
“What about this,” you say, a ghost of a smirk dancing at the corner of your lips. “When you finish your task, we can look through some lingerie. You can help me pick out a few things.”
The back of Jungkook’s head hits the wall. His eyes wander to the mirror on the opposite side of the room. You catch him staring – specifically at your propped-up legs, his gaze lingering a little too close to where your dress has ridden up, just enough to reveal a peek of lace.
“Hey, no peeking,” you scold, snapping your legs shut and stretching them out flat on his bed again, smoothing your dress down for good measure. “That’s also for later, when you finish your assignment.”
Smirking, you shift on the bed, just to test him.
“Must be so hard,” you muse, pretending to stretch as your dress slides just a little higher on your thighs. “Having a mirror right there, nowhere else to look.”
He scoffs. “If I wanted to see, I wouldn’t need a mirror.”
Jungkook doesn’t break eye contact, like he’s daring you to react. And maybe you should. Maybe you should roll your eyes, call him cocky, say you wish – but your brain isn’t working fast enough to form words.
“Remember how I fucked you against it?”
In his jersey. How could you forget?
And the way Jungkook’s lips twitch, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you, makes your face heat up instantly.
“When has it become so easy to make you shy?”
“I’m not.” You glare at him, but it only seems to amuse him more. His lips quirk higher, that same infuriating twitch like he’s enjoying this way too much.
You sit up straighter, leaning forward just enough so your dress pulls a little higher on your thighs, the movement slow and deliberate.
Jungkook’s eyes move to your legs, and you see that flicker of desire flash across his face. His fingers twitch, like he wants to do something – anything – but he stays still.
“Wanna have a little taste to get some motivation to finish your work?” you tease, the giddy rush that heated your body fading as you flash him a mischievous smile.
“Anything to distract me from this shit,” he replies, already pushing the laptop off his lap, the screen still filled with charts and statistics problems. Ugh.
You shift to your knees and grab the back of his neck, crashing your mouth against his. He deepens the kiss a little, his lips soft against yours, the taste of him sweet and familiar. His breath mingles with yours, warm and steady. His hand lands on your waist, fingers lightly tracing the curve of your body.
You pull back just a little, eyes fluttering open to meet his, and for a second, you both just smile at each other, breathless and giddy.
“Should’ve been doing this instead of staring at those charts,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
You laugh softly, heart fluttering, before kissing him again – this time with more confidence, more warmth. His arms wrap around you, pulling you closer as if he can’t get enough. His touch is gentle, but you can feel the quiet desperation behind it.
His rosy lips are swollen after a few more minutes of kissing and touching and grinding.
You slide off the bed and drop down to the floor, your hands running over his thighs, silently urging him to move closer. He shifts toward you, letting out a sharp breath when your palm him through his grey sweatpants.
You want to start of slow, want to take your time, but you’re also so needy and greedy for him, that you can’t help but tug his sweatpants down his legs, along with his briefs.
You take his semi hard dick in your hands and begin to stroke him. You let a drop of spit fall onto his cock for lubrication.
Jungkook puffs out a deep breath. You want to hear more of that.
“What happened to a little taste?” he asks, barely able to contain the moans that leave his mouth.
“Can’t help it,” you shrug, watching him grow bigger and harder in your hand.
His hand reaches for the hoodie he gave you earlier, which was carelessly thrown on his bed. He places it gently on the floor in front of you.
“Sit here,” he says, smoothing out the fabric. “Don’t want your knees to hurt.”
You shuffle your knees onto his hoodie, adjusting yourself, and continue stroking him up and down. At some point, you use both of your hands. You missed feeling his heavy cock in your hands, sitting beneath him and just playing with him.
“Spit on it, baby,” he says, voice low as he grabs his cock by the base and holds it for you to spit on. “Good girl.” He watches you with hooded eyes rub your spit all over him, mixing it with the precum leaking from his tip.
His cock is shiny, glistening with veins adoring his length. You stick out your tongue, gently swiping it over his head. Jungkook hisses when you swirl your tongue around his tip, teasing him with slow moves. He strokes himself while you play with his tip.
“Missed this view.” He pulls away his cock and starts slapping it against your tongue, the heavy feeling and wet noises immediately making you press your thighs together. “Look so pretty on your knees. Such a pretty girl.” Jungkook slides his head into your mouth. “Suck, baby.”
You close your mouth around his cock while you lock eyes with him. Slowly taking him deeper until you can’t take more. Your eyes are already watery and you didn’t even get most of him inside your mouth. You bob your head up and down in a slow, leisure pace.
“Fuck, that’s it,” he praises, threading his fingers through your hair to push it away from your face. “Relax your throat for me, yeah?”
When you do, he presses his hand on the back of your head, pushing your down on his cock and forcing you to swallow nearly half of him. Jungkook lets out a pretty moan when he feels the tightness of your throat around his cock, closing his eyes for a moment. Tears sting your eyes when he pulls you back, your hands gripping his thighs for leverage.
He lets you catch your breath before pushing you down again, moving your head in a tempo to his liking. When he shoves his cock particularly deep into you, you gag, tears rolling down your cheeks. You’re an absolute mess when he pulls out.
“What a good girl you are,” Jungkook says, his voice hoarse and low. “You just love sucking cock, don’t you?” He rubs his sticky cock against your mouth before slapping his head against it. He moves to your right cheek, smearing the mess over your skin and lightly tapping his cock. “Hm, princess?” he asks softer, almost with fake sympathy. He raises his brows in question, looking down at you like there’s just you and no one else.
“Love it so much,” you agree, moving your head along to the mess he’s making on your face.
Putting his cock back into your mouth, Jungkook leans back, watching you with pleasure etched into his expression as you move your head swiftly, twisting your hand around the part you can’t reach.
“So good,” he mutters, his tatted hand against your cheek just to feel you.
You tug your dress down and bring his cock down to your tits. You spit between the valley of your tits, using his tip to catch it and spread it across your boobs. You moan when his head brushes over your perky nipples. You circle his cock around them in small movements, breathy puffs escaping your mouth with how sensitive you are.
“You’re so fucking hot.” Jungkook fondles one breast with his hand, kneading it with his long fingers. He lets a little drop of spit fall onto your chest too, hungrily watching as you rub it against your soft skin with his cock. “Just want a mess everywhere, right?”
You nod, dragging his cock back into your mouth because you just need to taste him.
Jungkook curses under his breath when you start playing with his balls with your other hand. “Fuck, baby. Gonna cum if you keep going.”
Music to your ears.
You continue, swirling your tongue around his cock as you move up and down, trying to go as deep as you can. You can tell he doesn’t want to cum yet, but he doesn’t drag you off his cock, he’s too needy and horny.
“Cum on my tits.” You shift, jerking his cock in front of your chest.
“You want me to?”
“Please,” you beg, pushing your tits together with your arm, looking up at him with big eyes.
He moans at that sight, spurts of cum shooting across your chest. He paints your tits white with a big load. Your mouth hangs open slightly at the cum dripping from his cock. You lick his cock clean before looking down at your tits.
“You came so much.” You hold your tits in your hands. You flick your finger through some of the cum, putting it in your cum afterwards.
“Fuck, ___, please.”
You giggle at his reaction. You rub the cum into your skin with his still hard cock before it can drip down and create and even bigger mess. Your tits are all shiny from his cum when you’re done.
A shaky breath bubbles from Jungkook’s mouth when you stroke him once more, for good measure. “Pretty sure you got every drop.” He taps your elbow, motioning for you to get up. “Come here.” He pats the bed. “Get on all fours for me.”
While you get comfy on your knees on his bed, he takes off his clothes. Jungkook pushes your dress up your ass, the fabric bunched around your waist.
Jungkook slides one finger between your legs, slowly tracing your pussy through your panties.
“My dick in your mouth got you so wet, huh?” He pushes your panties aside, uttering a soft groan at the sight of your slick pussy. “So needy for me.” He bends down and you can feel his breath on your folds.
“Jungkook, please,” you whine.
“Please?” he repeats. “Such a well-mannered girl.” His tongue darts out, licking a stripe across your pussy.
You’re so incredibly sensitive, been yearning for this for so long, that you back arches immediately, thighs starting to quiver at Jungkook’s mild torture with his tongue.
Jungkook moves to your clit. He switches from little flicks to your nub and sucking on it, creating wet and filthy noises. He’s skilled with his mouth – perhaps a bit too skilled for your liking. But right now, you don’t have the energy to think too deeply about it, you’re just focused on the tingling pleasure that shoots through your tummy.
“Right there, Kook. Don’t stop.”
You watch him through the mirror – the way he is keeping your cheeks apart with his hands, face buried between your thighs, fluffy hair bouncing along with his movements. So handsome, so pretty, so yours.
“Pussy tastes so fucking good,” He mumbles, his fingers sinking deeper into your skin.
“So close. Wanna cum, Jungkook.”
Jungkook hums against you, the vibration making your breath hitch. It’s just his mouth on your pussy, but he knows his way around, knows how to make you squirm.
The pressure builds, winding tight in your core, seconds from snapping. “Jungkook,” you gasp, voice wrecked. “I’m–”
He groans into you, gripping harder, and that’s it—that’s all it takes. The tension in your body breaks all at once, pleasure hitting so hard your vision goes hazy. A choked sound spills from your lips, legs trying to squeeze shut, but he doesn’t let you. Just stays there, working you through it, dragging it out until you’re nothing but shivers and gasps, completely undone beneath him.
Only then does he pull back, breathing heavy, lips slick and swollen. He looks up at you through the mirror, something dark, almost possessive in his gaze, and swipes his thumb over his mouth like he’s savouring the taste.
You look back at him, smiling at his shiny face. His lips are covered along with his chin and his nose and a bit of his cheeks.
“This is, like, one of your best looks.”
“What, fresh out the pussy?”
You giggle. “Yeah,” you mutter, swiping your finger over the tip of his nose to clean him.
“I could have my face buried down there forever. I don’t think you realise how good you taste.” You feel his finger spreading your folds. “But I know my girl is very needy, so she wants cock, hm?”
You sigh, melting into his touch when you feel him slap his dick against your pussy instead. “You know me so well.”
The dick slaps are so wet, and your haze-filled mind craves nothing more than for him to shove his cock inside you, raw and deep, filling you the way you need – no barriers, no hesitation.
But Jungkook is actually able to still form sensible thoughts through the horny haze and grabs a condom from his nightstand.
He doesn’t tease you much before he enters you, just slowly, inch by inch, sliding his cock inside you.
“You good, baby?”
“Uh-huh, you can move.”
You gasp, the feeling almost overwhelming but exactly what you wanted. His hands grip your hips, pulling you back toward him as he starts a steady pace from behind, each thrust making your head spin.
“Missed this pussy,” Jungkook rasps, sneaking one hand down to your ass to spank it, eliciting a surprised moan from you. “So tight, so perfect.” He grabs a handful of your ass. “So mine.”
He fucks you rough, doesn’t give you any chance to think of anything but him. Your hands are clutching at his covers, holding the fabric tightly in your palms.
You feel him spit down on your ass. He rubs his finger over your puckered hole, making you whine and bite your lip at the feeling.
“Oh, Jungkook.” He slides his thumb inside, just the tip of his finger, and yet it feels like so much more, the pleasure intensifying.
“You’re such a slut for me, aren’t you?” he asks, not stopping his relentless pace. “Love getting all your holes filled. So, so dirty.” Contempt is dripping from his voice, and you can’t help but have your pussy throbbing at that.
“Just for you,” you breathe. “Just you, Jungkook.”
“That’s, right.” He pushes his thumb a bit deeper, making your fingers tighten around Jungkook’s sheets. “You’re my girl.”
Your heart is racing, pulse pounding in your ears, and all you can do is nod, your body responding to him without thought, your need for him overwhelming.
With his other hand he tugs at your hair, wrapping it around his hand and creating a makeshift ponytail.
“Look at how pretty you look.”
You turn your head to the mirror. Your back is fully arched, and Jungkook’s all over your, his muscled and tatted body towering over you with his cock deeply buried inside your pussy.
He withdraws his thumb from your hole, delivering another spank to your ass.
“Make me go fucking crazy,” he mumbles, wrapping his hand around your tummy and pulling you up against his chest.
“Kook,” you mumble, resting your head in the crook of his neck. You don’t know what you want, only that you’re feeling this irresistible pull to him, like you want to be even closer to him.
He lets your hair go, moving his hand to your tits and squeezing them.
“Cum with me,” he whispers into your ear, immediately sending shivers down your spine. “Look at yourself when you cum, baby. Want you to see how pretty you are.”
When he sneaks his hand that was wrapped around your tummy down between your legs and starts flicking his fingers over your clit, it’s officially over for you.
You still try to keep your eyes open like Jungkook told you so as you teeter off the edge, your climax consuming you. You watch him come undone too, his brows knitted together, and bottom lip caught between his teeth.
You’re weak on your knees, but Jungkook keeps you firm to his chest, not letting fall as he thrusts into you in a slower, sloppier pace. He peppers your neck and shoulders with little kisses, and you giggle a little, delirious on your high. Your hand reaches for his bicep and you squeeze it.
His skin is hot under your touch, muscles flexing as he holds you up, keeping you steady against him. The slow drag of his movements sends waves of overstimulation through your body, but you don’t pull away.
“I know, baby.” Jungkook hums against your shoulder, his lips still ghosting over your skin, pressing lazy kisses between heavy breaths. “Still with me?” he murmurs, voice low, teasing, as his fingers brush down your sides.
You nod, melting further into him, body pliant against his.
Jungkook pulls out. You whine at the loss. He tosses the condom on the floor – you're too spent to tell him how gross that is – and shifts on the bed, lying down together with you.
His arm drapes over your waist, pulling you close, your body naturally moulding into his like it’s second nature. His skin is still warm, his breaths deep and steady as he settles beside you.
You glance down on yourself – you’re a mess. Panties still on, just pulled to the side like he liked, dress bunched around your waist, evidence of him all over you.
“Can I take a shower before I leave?”
“Sure.”
You wait.
You look up at Jungkook. “You’re not gonna ask if you can join me?”
“I thought that was clear?”
You smile. “Good.”
“Hey – will you now tell me what you wrote in your journal about me?”
“I know we’re back to being friends with benefits, but please know your place.”
→ SUMMARY : You were a journalist at Yonsei University when you started noticing the strange coincidences between your favorite bumbling freshman and Seoul's newest superhero. The way Spider-Man's voice cracks on 'noona' exactly like Jungkook's does. The way they both bring you the same snacks, have the same nervous energy, the same tendency to ramble when flustered. You tell yourself it's just a coincidence, because the alternative means admitting something you're absolutely not ready to deal with.
→ TAGS : second person perspective used, female pronouns used, college au, spider-man au, noona kink, slight age gap (he’s 21, she’s 24ish), dry humping, virgin jungkook, first time, inexperienced jk, creaming his pants, sexual content, explicit content, library smut, clothed getting off, breast play, grinding, praise kink, crying during sex, crying after sex, embarrassment kink, humiliation kink, slight dom reader x sub jungkook, size difference, pining, jungkook has a big fat crush on you, secret identity, touch starved, protective jungkook, closet sexual activities, desperate jungkook, gentle domming, aftercare, emotional intimacy, fluff and smut, Korean setting, university setting.
→ PLAYLIST: set the vibes.
→ MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 11.8k
→ A/N: Hi everyone! Welcome to my first attempt at a Spidey!JK AU, where he somehow manages to be an even bigger mess than Peter Parker 😭. This story is very close to my heart because it dives into the dynamic between a confident noona and her adorably flustered freshman—who just so happens to be Seoul’s clumsy new superhero. To be honest, this Spiderkook oneshot was heavily inspired by Tangie, aka @rpwprpwprpwprw (love you bb!!!). I’d been lowkey daydreaming about Spiderkook for ages but thought, “Nah, that’s too silly.” Then I discovered there’s an entire community sharing the same brain cell as me??? Like, you’re welcome for my service, I guess?? Originally, this was supposed to be a short, smutty 5k romp. But do you think I can write smut without plot? I CAN’T. IT’S A MEDICAL CONDITION. Now it’s a 12k beast with feelings, webs, and chaos. Sorry (but not really). If you enjoy this, I might turn it into a mini-series because, let’s be honest, spider powers in… certain scenarios… sound very intriguing. Hihihi. Hope you enjoy this mess I’ve unleashed on the world! 🕸️
Edit: also, yeah. Tae is older than Jimin and Jungkook here because my sleep deprived brain slapped a ‘hyung’ on Jimin’s mouth and I’m not editing again. (≖͞_≖̥)
The thing about Spider-Man is that he reminds you too much of a certain freshman.
A freshman named Jeon Jungkook who keeps hovering around the journalism building with his messy hair and his wide eyes and his endless supply of convenience store snacks.
You've been telling yourself it's just a coincidence. The way Spider-Man's voice cracks on 'noona' exactly like Jungkook's does. The way they both bring you the same snacks, have the same nervous energy, the same tendency to ramble when they're flustered. It's just a coincidence, because the alternative means admitting something you're absolutely not ready to deal with.
Maybe that's why you're hiding in August Coffee, your usual spot tucked away in one of Sinchon's winding side streets.
The late autumn breeze carries the scent of roasted coffee beans through the open window, and your laptop screen glows with half-finished articles and interview transcripts. Your notebook lies open beside a rapidly cooling americano while the café's jazz playlist provides a gentle backdrop to your furious typing. You're on a deadline for tomorrow's paper, and the last thing you need is—
A flash of red and blue swings past the window.
You pretend not to notice. Maybe if you focus hard enough on your screen, he'll take the hint and—
"Noona!"
—of course he doesn't.
There he is, hanging upside down outside the second-floor window, the eyes of his mask wide and eager. A plastic convenience store bag dangles from his hand, swaying in the autumn wind. Several patrons are already pulling out their phones, and you can feel your carefully cultivated productivity slipping away.
"No," you say firmly, not looking up from your laptop.
"But noona—" His voice cracks on the honorific, and you absolutely refuse to find it endearing. "I haven't even said anything yet!"
"I'm working." You take a pointed sip of your americano, grimacing when you realize it's gone cold. Perfect. "Some of us have actual responsibilities, Spider-Boy."
"I brought you snacks!" He awkwardly maneuvers through the window—you're not sure if the owner keeps it open for him specifically or if he's just that persistent. "You know, the ones you like with the matcha filling? The new ones from that fancy Japanese brand?"
You pause, fingers hovering over your keyboard. "How do you know I like the ones with matcha filling?"
"Uh—" Even through the mask, you can tell he's flustered. His hands fidget with the plastic bag. "Lucky guess? Not that I know you, noona. Uh, I mean, you look like a noona. Not that I know for a fact you're a noona—"
"Stop talking." You pinch the bridge of your nose, painfully aware of the phones still recording this interaction. This will definitely end up on some university Instagram page later. Again. "You're making it worse."
He deflates slightly, shoulders hunching in that familiar way that reminds you too much of a certain someone who keeps "accidentally" running into you at the journalism building. The same one who somehow always knows your coffee order and brings you snacks you oh so casually mention fancying—
No. You're not going there. You're not connecting those dots, because connecting those dots leads to complications you absolutely don't need in your final year.
"I can leave if you want," he offers, but he's already approaching, placing the snacks on your table with careful precision. "But you've been here for four hours, and you always forget to eat when you're working on a big story."
You stare at him. "How do you know how long I've been here?"
"I, uh—" His mask's eyes widen comically. "Spider-sense?"
"That's not how spider-sense works."
"You don't know how my spider-sense works! Maybe it's... hungry-noona-sense?"
A laugh escapes before you can stop it, and you quickly cover it with a cough. "That's the worst excuse you've come up with yet."
"Yet!" He perks up. "So you're keeping track?"
"Go away." You open the snack bag anyway, pretending not to notice how he straightens up eagerly when you do. "Don't you have a city to protect or something?"
"Seoul can handle itself for ten minutes while I make sure my favorite n—while I make sure hardworking journalists eat properly."
You raise an eyebrow at the slip, and he fidgets under your gaze. "Your favorite what?"
"Nothing! No one! Just, you know, doing my friendly neighborhood Spider-Man duties. Very friendly. Very neighborly. Nothing specific or personal about it at all."
You bite into one of the matcha-filled snacks—they're fresh, which means he must have bought them recently. Specifically for you. Just like how a certain freshman keeps bringing you fresh triangle kimbap from the convenience store near your morning lecture hall...
No. Stop it. You're not doing this.
"Sit down," you sigh, pushing the chair across from you out with your foot. "And stay quiet, or I’ll kick you out."
He practically collapses into the chair, bag already placed on the table. You notice his hands shaking slightly, and something in your chest tightens.
You shouldn't find it endearing. You really, really shouldn't.
But then again, you probably shouldn't find anything about this situation endearing — a masked vigilante bringing you sweets in the middle of your favorite cafe, stammering through excuses that sound exactly like the ones Jungkook uses when you catch him "accidentally" walking the same way as you after class.
You really need to stop noticing these things.
You try to refocus on your notes after that, but it's hard—mostly because Spider-Man is still sitting there. Quietly. Staring.
And not in a "just glancing around the cafe" kind of way, either. No, he's full-on watching you, eyes darting between the scribbles in your notebook, the crumbs on your plate, and, worst of all, your face. Like you're the most fascinating thing in the world. Like he's never seen someone drink a mediocre americano and type furiously into Google Docs before.
It goes on for five minutes. Five full, agonizing minutes of silence, punctuated only by the occasional click of your keyboard and the muted sounds of espresso machines in the background.
Finally, you sigh, your fingers pausing mid-typing. "Don't you have better stuff to do?"
"No." The response is immediate. Too immediate. His tone is absurdly casual, like the very idea that Spider-Man—the literal defender of Seoul—could have anything more important than sitting in August Coffee and bothering you is completely ridiculous.
You raise a brow, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. "No supervillains to fight? No cats stuck in trees? Nothing?"
"Nope," he says, popping the 'p' for emphasis. "Pretty quiet day."
You shake your head and turn your attention back to your laptop. "Must be nice."
There's a pause. You can feel him shifting in his seat, the chair creaking slightly under his weight, and when he speaks again, his voice is just shy of hesitant.
"How are the pastries? Do you like them?"
Your fingers freeze over your keyboard. Slowly, you turn to face him again, narrowing your eyes.
"You didn't spit in them, did you?"
"Wha—no!" he sputters, his whole posture stiffening in obvious horror. "Why—why would I—noona, I would never spit in your pastries!"
You let him sweat for a second longer, just to amuse yourself, before breaking into a small, satisfied smirk.
"Relax, Spider-Boy. I'm kidding." You reach for the bag of snacks he brought. "Yeah, they're good. Wanna try?"
His eyes widen a little—well, as much as they can through that mask—and he seems to hesitate, like he's not sure if you're serious or trying to bait him again. You wave one of the pastries in his direction. He glances at it, then back at you, before finally nodding.
"Okay. Yeah, sure."
You watch as he carefully rolls his mask up just to his nose, revealing his mouth for the first time. You don't know what you expected, but… it's a good mouth. Maybe annoyingly good, given how little you want to admit that very obvious fact to yourself. Full lips, slightly pink, with just the faintest hint of nervousness as he bites at his bottom lip before leaning forward.
He takes a bite of the pastry you're holding out to him, and the pleased groan he lets out immediately makes you regret offering him anything at all.
"God, that's delicious," he mumbles around his mouthful, crumbs falling onto his suit. He barely finishes chewing before continuing. "Now I know why you like them so much. I mean—why people say they're so good. Not you specifically. Just, you know, people."
You snort, shaking your head as you turn back to your laptop. "You're a terrible liar."
"And you're a terrible bossy noona," he mutters, mostly to himself, stuffing the rest of the pastry into his mouth before leaning back in his chair.
You're about to toss another sarcastic remark his way when something catches your eye. Or, more specifically, half of something. A small smudge of green—matcha filling, you realize—lingering on the corner of his mouth.
It's instinctive, the way your hand moves—completely unthinking, like muscle memory kicking in before your brain has a chance to catch up. One moment, you're perfectly stationary in your seat; the next, your thumb is brushing against his lip, swiping the smudge away with a gentle, practiced motion.
He startles at the touch, his whole body jerking slightly as his eyes snap to yours. And then, just like that, reality crashes back in.
Your hand freezes midair.
His mouth parts for half a second, like he's about to say something, but then his tongue darts out—slow, deliberate—to lick the exact spot your thumb had just brushed.
You snatch your hand back like you've been burned, your face heating despite yourself.
The silence that follows is awful. Deafening. Inescapable.
He shifts in his chair, his eyes flickering to the table, then back to you, then down again. He clears his throat—once, then twice—before adjusting the edge of his suit with what you can only describe as frantic energy.
"So… uh…" His voice is tight. Way tighter than usual, cracking slightly on the first syllable. "Thanks for that. The, uh. The whole… lip thing. That was. Uh. Cool."
You blink at him, deadpan. "Cool?"
"Yeah. Cool. Totally normal and cool. Happens all the time. Super casual."
If you weren't so flustered yourself, you'd have laughed at the way he's fidgeting in his seat, his hands gripping his thighs under the table like he's trying not to explode.
"Right," you say slowly, leaning back in your chair. "Casual."
"Exactly."
He nods a little too enthusiastically, and you notice his knees bumping against each other under the table before he quickly crosses his legs. His hands drop to his lap almost immediately after, like he's trying to adjust the spandex near his thighs.
Your gaze is momentarily drawn there before—
"Anyway!" The word comes out nearly an octave higher than it should. He's already standing—or, more accurately, bolting to his feet—his hands still awkwardly hovering in front of him. "I should, uh, get going! Supervillains don't wait, you know? Gotta, uh… save the people of Seoul. Yeah. Big hero stuff."
You stare at him, unblinking, as he starts inching toward the door. "Uh-huh."
"Thanks for the pastries, noona! Great talk, as always!" He clears his throat again, audibly struggling to keep his voice steady. "Okay! Bye!"
And then he's gone, practically sprinting out of the cafe before he can embarrass himself any further.
You sit there for a long moment, still frozen, your brain catching up to what just happened. Then, slowly, you reach for another pastry.
Whatever just happened? Definitely not your problem.
"I'm such a fucking idiot."
Jungkook's voice is muffled by his hands, currently covering his face in what can only be described as unrelenting shame. He's lying on Jimin's couch, legs splayed out haphazardly, the picture of a man defeated by his own existence.
Across the room, Jimin raises an eyebrow, lazily popping another chip into his mouth. The bag crinkles loudly, much to Jungkook's dismay. "It's not that bad, Kooks. She probably didn't even notice."
Jungkook groans, dragging his hands down his face until his eyes peek out dramatically between his fingers. "She 100% noticed. It was—like—a five-minute interaction. FIVE minutes, and I made it weird. Now she's gonna think I'm a fucking weirdo and a creep."
Jimin doesn't even try to hide the snort that escapes him, his expression somewhere between entertained and unimpressed. "Yeah, because stalking her as Spider-Man didn't have her thinking that already."
Jungkook bolts upright on the couch, eyes wide with panic. "She told you that?!"
Jimin chokes on his chip, wheezing as he waves his hand for Jungkook to calm down. "No! Shit, man, calm down. I'm just saying. Like, I guess? I mean, you do kind of… hover. A lot."
"I don't hover," Jungkook protests, indignant. But even as the words leave his mouth, he hesitates. "Do I hover?"
Jimin gives him a look.
Jungkook groans again, flopping back onto the couch like his limbs have given up on life. "Oh my god, you're right. I hover. I'm that guy. And now it's worse because who the fuck pops a boner from someone—" He pauses, embarrassingly aware of the words about to leave his mouth. "—touching their lip? What is wrong with me? I must be insane. She must think I'm insane."
Jimin, now thoroughly entertained, leans back in his chair with his bag of chips, one leg crossed over the other. "I mean... it's not great," he says unhelpfully, though there's a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Jungkook lets out a strangled noise, somewhere between a groan and a whimper, and buries his face back into his hands. "She's never gonna look at me the same. I probably freaked her out. GOD, she's gonna think I'm some kind of pervert. Or—worse—she's gonna avoid me completely now. And then I'll never see her again. And then—"
"Okay, okay," Jimin interrupts, holding up a hand to stop whatever spiral Jungkook's about to drag them into. "First of all, she offered to share her snack with you, so I don't think she's avoiding you anytime soon."
"But that was BEFORE—"
"Second of all," Jimin continues loudly, ignoring Jungkook's interjection, "maybe just... stop calling her 'noona' every chance you get? It's not helping your case."
Jungkook frowns, peeking out from behind his fingers again. "What's wrong with calling her noona? That's respectful!"
"Yeah, but it's also kinda... you know," Jimin winces, waving a hand vaguely. "Weird, coming from you. Like, you're already bumbling around her like a lost golden retriever. Adding 'noona' into the mix just makes you look—what's the word?"
"Adorable?" Jungkook tries hopefully.
"Pathetic," Jimin finishes, deadpan.
Jungkook groans for what feels like the millionth time, throwing his head against the couch cushion. "Why do I even talk to you? You're supposed to make me feel better, hyung. Not worse."
"Hey, I'm here for the truth," Jimin says, pointing at him with a chip in hand. "You want a cheerleader, go call Taehyung."
"Taehyung's just gonna laugh at me," Jungkook mutters into the cushion.
"And yet, you're shocked I'm doing it too."
Jungkook mumbles something unintelligible, his face half-smashed into the cushion now as he replays every excruciating detail of his interaction with you earlier. The way your thumb had brushed his lip. The way he'd immediately been unable to control the—well, reaction. The way he'd panicked like an idiot, stammered something incomprehensible, and practically bolted out of the cafe without even finishing his sentence.
"Kill me," he says dramatically, still face-down in the cushion. "Just end me. I can't show my face again."
Jimin laughs, leaning forward to pat Jungkook's shoulder in a way that's more mocking than comforting. "Relax, man. You'll survive. Just... maybe keep your hormones in check next time, yeah?"
Jungkook flips him off blindly, his hand waving somewhere above his head.
"Love you too, Spider-Menace," Jimin quips, taking another chip like this is the best entertainment he's had all week.
The crunching sound of Jimin biting into another chip is loud enough to make Jungkook groan into the couch again. "Do you ever stop eating?" Jungkook mutters, his voice muffled by the cushion.
Jimin raises an eyebrow, unbothered, and is about to throw a smartass reply back when his phone buzzes on the coffee table. He glances at the screen, sees Taehyung's name, and shrugs, casually placing the phone between his shoulder and ear as he picks up without pausing his snacking.
"What's up?" Jimin hums lazily, chips still in hand, completely ignoring Jungkook's existential crisis unfolding just feet away from him.
Jungkook's ears perk up despite himself—because why else would Taehyung be calling Jimin right now? He lifts his head just enough to peek over the cushion, his hair mussed and sticking up in odd directions.
Jimin's expression doesn't change at first, eyes still fixated on the bag of chips in his lap as he listens. "Yeah, he's with me," he says vaguely, gesturing aimlessly toward Jungkook, who frowns at being referred to like some stray dog Jimin found.
But then Jimin freezes. His chewing slows. His eyebrows shoot up toward his hairline as Taehyung says something that causes him to do a violent double take at Jungkook.
"What?" Jimin coughs, choking on the chip he was mid-swallow. He pounds his chest a little before leaning forward sharply. "He—what? What, what, what—? Tae, calm down—!"
"What's going on?" Jungkook asks, sitting up now, his stomach twisting uncomfortably at Jimin's sudden change in tone.
Jimin waves him off with a quick flick of his hand, signaling for him to shut up. "No, yeah. Yeah, no, I know," Jimin mumbles into the phone, his tone getting increasingly more exasperated as he listens. "Tae—okay? Can you just—okay?"
"What's wrong??" Jungkook asks again, panic creeping into his voice. He hates not knowing what's going on, especially when Jimin looks... concerned? Flustered? Whatever it is, it's not good.
Jimin twists his head toward Jungkook, eyes narrowing as he motions aggressively with his entire head for Jungkook to shut the hell up.
"Okay, let me— what? You wanna talk to him?" Jimin repeats, his voice pitching higher in disbelief. "Oh, now you wanna talk to him? Fine! Okay, okay, okay, here."
Before Jungkook can process what's happening, Jimin is all but shoving his phone into Jungkook's hands, plunking the bag of chips onto the bed with a dramatic sigh.
"Take it," Jimin mutters, irritation bleeding into his tone.
"Wait, why do I have to—"
"Take it," Jimin repeats, louder this time, his hand already retreating as he grabs another chip to munch on, clearly done with whatever chaos Taehyung just unloaded on him.
Jungkook swallows nervously, holding the phone to his ear as Taehyung's voice immediately fills it in a panicked rush.
"Jungkook! Oh my god, dude, you're not gonna believe this—" Taehyung starts, and Jungkook feels his entire stomach plummet before Taehyung can even finish his sentence.
"Believe what?" Jungkook half-yells into the phone, his voice cracking just slightly at the end, betraying the anxiety bubbling under his skin.
"Don't freak out," Taehyung begins, which, of course, makes Jungkook's blood pressure shoot straight through the roof. His knuckles grip Jimin's phone tightly, and he shares a panicked look with Jimin, who's now leaning against the coffee table with a chip halfway to his mouth, watching the scene unfold like it's prime-time drama.
"I'm already freaking out, hyung! Just tell me!" Jungkook demands, pacing the room like a caged animal.
"Okay, so," Taehyung starts again, and Jungkook can hear the smirk in his voice, which immediately makes him want to fling the phone out the window. "You know Y/N, yeah?"
"Do I—what do you mean, 'do I know Y/N'?! Of course I know—just get to the point!" Jungkook's frustration is mounting by the second. He's wound so tight he feels like a single flick might send him spiraling.
"Okay, Mr. Touchy," Taehyung says innocently, and Jungkook can practically see him holding back a laugh wherever he is. "So, uh… apparently, she's been asking questions."
Jungkook stops dead in his tracks. His heart lurches in a way that makes his hands clammy against the phone. "Questions?" he repeats, voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah," Taehyung continues, tone far too blasé for Jungkook's liking. "You know, like... about Spider-Man."
Jungkook swears his brain short-circuits. For a second, all he hears is static, like every neuron in his head has collectively stopped firing.
"...What kind of questions?" he asks quietly, his voice taking on an edge that immediately grabs Jimin's attention.
"Oh, you know." Taehyung's voice is light, purposefully teasing. "Like, how he seems to always show up when she's around, or how he just happens to bring her favorite snacks, or—oh, this one's my favorite—how his voice cracks exactly like a certain freshman she knows at Yonsei."
Jungkook's knees buckle, and he collapses back onto the couch like his strings have been cut. Jimin is now openly laughing, clutching his stomach with one hand while pointing at Jungkook with the other.
"She—oh my god," Jungkook mutters into the phone, his free hand running through his hair in frantic tugs. "She knows. She knows, doesn't she? I'm so fucked."
"Hey, hey, calm down!" Taehyung says hurriedly, though his voice is still laced with amusement. "She doesn't know know. I mean, I don't think so. She's not like, accusing you or anything. Just... putting pieces together. Y'know, connecting dots."
"Connecting dots?!" Jungkook hisses, his chest tightening as his worst nightmare begins to unfold in real time. "Do you have any idea how many dots there ARE, hyung?! I'm like a walking... dot-factory!"
Jimin absolutely loses it, doubling over in laughter as crumbs from his chips scatter across the floor.
"Okay, Kook, you need to calm down," Taehyung says, though his tone suggests he's also suppressing a laugh. "She's just curious, that's all. You know how Y/N is. She's a journalist. She's always sniffing around for a good story, right?"
"She doesn't need THIS story!" Jungkook yells, his hand clenching into a fist against his thigh. "Oh my god, what if she writes about it? What if she—what if it ENDS UP IN THE SCHOOL PAPER?!"
"Relax, relax, relax," Taehyung says in quick succession, his voice almost soothing now. "She's not gonna write about it. I don't think she'd do that to you... unless, you know, you give her a reason to."
Jungkook groans, leaning forward to bury his face in his hands again. "I'm so dead. She's gonna out me. My life is over. My life is literally over."
"Hyung," Jimin finally pipes up, gasping for air as he wipes away a tear from laughing too hard. "Tell him to just confess already. At this rate, she'll figure it out before he ever grows the balls to tell her himself."
"Confess?" Jungkook sputters, jerking his head up to glare at Jimin. "Are you insane?! You want me to walk up to her and go, 'Hey, Y/N, funny thing—remember how you thought I was stalking you? Well, surprise! I was, but it's okay because I'm Spider-Man!' That's your plan?!"
Jimin shrugs, smirking as he tosses a chip into his mouth. "Worked for Andrew Garfield."
"THIS IS NOT A MOVIE!"
Taehyung's laugh echoes through the phone, loud and clear. "Oh man, I wish I was there to see this meltdown in person. Seriously, Kook, stop freaking out. Just... play it cool, okay? She doesn't know anything for sure. Yet."
"Yet?!" Jungkook exclaims, horror-struck.
"Gotta go!" Taehyung says way too quickly, the call disconnecting before Jungkook can yell at him further.
Jungkook stares at the phone in disbelief, his chest heaving as Jimin's smug laughter reverberates in the background.
"Cool," Jimin repeats mockingly, curving his lips. "Yeah, Kook, just play it cool. You're so good at that."
Jungkook groans, tossing the phone onto the couch and collapsing after it. "I need new friends."
"You love us," Jimin chirps, reaching for another chip.
Jungkook screams into the pillow.
You were expecting something, anything, really. A subtle slip-up. A sheepish confession. Hell, maybe even some stammering and nervous sweating.
But the moment you confronted Taehyung—cornered him, really, by the vending machine in the student lounge—and the words "Do you know if Jungkook's Spider-Man?" left your mouth, all he did was cackle. Loudly. Mockingly. Like a full-on villain in a Saturday morning cartoon.
"Spider-Man?" he wheezed, doubling over and clutching his stomach like you'd just told him the funniest joke in existence. "Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook? Noona, you're joking, right?"
You blinked, momentarily thrown off by how visceral his reaction was. "No. I'm not joking," you said stiffly, crossing your arms. "What's so funny about it?"
Taehyung straightened up, wiping a fake tear from the corner of his eye as he glanced at you with barely contained amusement. "Do you know Jungkook? Like, know him? Because that kid has two left feet. I've literally seen him trip over air. How would he even swing that gracefully?"
For a brief, fleeting moment, you felt the smallest hitch in your resolve. Because, well, the evidence did kind of contradict itself, didn't it? Jungkook is clumsy sometimes. That much is true. You've seen him knock over a whole stack of textbooks just trying to nod hello at you in the hallway. He once walked into a doorframe because he was too busy staring at his phone.
Spider-Man, by comparison, is supposed to be graceful. Quick. Precise. Not... whatever it is Jungkook embodies most of the time.
But then you think about the stupid coffee shop incident. The way Spider-Man stammered and fidgeted and tripped over his words like a nervous wreck. The way he dropped his entire cool superhero persona when he handed you those damn matcha pastries. He wasn't exactly graceful then, was he?
And okay, let's talk about those pastries for a second. Because the more you think about them, the more your brain starts spinning. You distinctly remember mentioning them once—to Eunjae, over lunch in the cafeteria, weeks ago. How the hell would Spider-Man know about them if he wasn't there to overhear?
You frown, chewing on the inside of your cheek as the pieces start stacking themselves again in your head. Jungkook might be clumsy, sure. But Spider-Man was clumsy too. At least, that day he was. And the matcha pastries aren't just a coincidence. They can't be.
Your inner spiral is abruptly interrupted by a bright, familiar voice calling out behind you.
"Noona!"
You whirl around at the sound like a guilty kid caught stealing candy, heart practically leaping into your throat because you know that voice anywhere. And there he is, the devil himself—Jeon Jungkook, all floppy hair and dumbly wide grin, bounding toward you like an overexcited golden retriever.
He sidesteps a couple of students in his path, his long legs moving with just a little too much energy. Honestly, it's a miracle he doesn't trip.
"I brought you these!" he announces, holding up a plastic bag like it's some kind of trophy. His grin stretches so wide it practically touches his ears, and you hate that your first thought is how stupidly adorable he looks.
Stupid, you think, swiping the bag from his hand. Not adorable. Definitely not adorable. You're sure of it.
Peeking inside, your brows furrow. "Hotteok?"
Jungkook presses his lips together, humming as he nods eagerly. "Yeah! You—" His smile falters just a touch. "You don't like it?"
The way his face drops shouldn't make you feel so guilty, but it does, and it's annoying. "No, uh, I mean…" You struggle for the right words, because… hotteok? Really? You'd been expecting the matcha pastries again. This feels almost purposeful—like he's playing dumb. Is he? Or is this proof that you've been completely off base this whole time?
You're overthinking again. Shaking your head, you wave off the thought entirely. "Yeah, thank you, Jungkook-ah," you mutter, tone softer than you mean it to be.
The banmal slips out without much thought, but the effect it has is immediate. His eyes go wide, and then his whole face lights up in the kind of beam that makes you want to smack yourself for fueling his enthusiasm.
"This is the first time you dropped honorifics with me," he says, looking downright gleeful.
You clench the bag a little tighter and wish you could hate him. Why is he so excited over something so small? Why does it make your chest feel weirdly tight? And why is it so hard to stay annoyed at him when he looks at you like that?
God, this kid.
"Don't get used to it," you mutter gruffly, turning away before the growing warmth in your cheeks betrays you completely.
"So," he begins, falling into step beside you as you start walking toward the journalism building. "What are your plans for today?"
You don't respond. Not out of spite or anything—you're just not in the mood to entertain whatever puppy-dog energy he's radiating right now.
"Writing notes?" he prompts, glancing sideways at you, his tone just a little too hopeful for your liking.
Still, you say nothing.
"Coffee?"
Nope.
"Gonna catch leads for Spider-Man's identity?"
That one makes you stop dead in your tracks. You whirl around so fast he nearly collides with you, blinking like a deer caught in headlights. "Huh?"
His eyes widen marginally, mouth opening and closing like he's trying to come up with a quick excuse. "Taehyung told me!" he blurts, the words tumbling out in a rush.
For a second, you just stare at him, blinking once, then twice. "Huh," you reply, eyebrows quirking upward.
"Yeah!" he adds, voice pitching slightly higher, probably in an effort to sound casual. "He said you were, uh, investigating? Like, Spider-Man and all that? You know, trying to figure out who he is?"
Your head tilts as you study him, arms crossing instinctively. "Did he now?"
"Uh-huh," he nods enthusiastically, though the way his hand rubs at the back of his neck gives him away almost immediately. "I mean, not that I think that's, like, bad or anything? It's cool! Totally cool! I mean, you're a journalist, so, like, it's your job, right? Investigating stuff and—"
"Jungkook."
He freezes, looking way too much like a kid caught sneaking cookies before dinner.
"Why," you ask, narrowing your eyes just slightly, "do you sound like you're trying to convince me not to?"
"I-I'm not! I'm not," he stammers, waving his hands frantically. "I was just, you know, saying! Like, uh, if anyone were trying to find his identity, it'd definitely be you because, uh… you're smart? And observant? And not at all easy to fool?"
Your brow arches higher, his stream of nervous compliments only fueling the suspicion building in your chest.
"Right," you say slowly, dragging out the word as you step closer, watching the way his Adam's apple bobs nervously when your gaze meets his. "So hypothetically…"
"H-Hypothetically," he squeaks, leaning back like he's mentally bracing himself for whatever's coming next.
"If I was trying to find out who Spider-Man is," you continue, voice calm and steady, "you wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that, now would you?"
The way he freezes, body rigid and eyes darting everywhere but at you, would be funny if it weren't so telling. The sheer panic written all over his face is practically criminal.
"I—uh—no? N-No. Definitely not," he stammers, the pitch of his voice betraying him entirely. "W-Why would I have anything to do with that? I'm just a freshman! I don't even know Spider-Man! I mean, who even is Spider-Man? Could be anyone, right? Crazy world we live in, haha…"
You take a moment to just stare at him, fighting the urge to roll your eyes so hard they might actually get stuck. "Right," you deadpan, turning on your heel to start walking again.
Jungkook exhales audibly behind you, feet scrambling to catch up. "Y-Yeah, right! That's what I thought too!" he says quickly, clearly desperate to steer the conversation in another direction. "Anyway, uh, where were we? Oh! Notes! Are you writing notes today, noona?"
You don't respond. Again. Mostly because you're too busy replaying his very suspicious reaction over and over in your head like a mental highlight reel.
Yeah… no way this kid isn't up to something.
You keep walking, your steps steady, purposeful. Jungkook, as always, trots along beside you like he's afraid you might disappear if he doesn't keep up. And unlike you, who values peace and quiet, Jungkook doesn't seem to understand the concept of shutting up.
"So, like, I was thinking," he starts, voice bright and eager. "If Spider-Man's around all the time, do you think he lives nearby? Like, maybe he's a uni student? Or—or maybe he's secretly a professor? Oh my god, imagine Professor Kim as Spider-Man—he'd probably web someone for being late to class, right? Oh, oh, or he'd use his powers to booby-trap the lecture hall if we don't submit our midterms on time! Haha—what do you think, noona?"
You don't answer.
"And have you noticed he wears, like, the same colors as Yonsei's? Like, blue and red? Do you think that's on purpose? Maybe he's trying to rep the school spirit! Or maybe he's trying to throw us off! Who knows, right? I mean, what's your theory? You must have a theory—you're always so smart about these things—"
"Jungkook," you interject, your voice flat as you stop abruptly in your tracks. He almost trips trying to halt beside you, blinking wide-eyed like he didn't expect you to actually respond.
"Yeah?"
"Don't you have class?" You ask, turning your head just enough for him to see the pointed look you're giving him.
He licks his lips, and you know he's about to lie before the words even leave his mouth. "No?"
"Liar," you deadpan, already turning back to face forward.
"You know my schedule?" he shoots back, voice teasing as he trails after you again.
You roll your eyes but don't give him the satisfaction of a retort. If you respond, he'll just milk it—probably tease you further, or worse, distract you with another string of nonsense questions about Spider-Man. No, you're better off ignoring him.
So, you keep walking. He keeps rambling.
And then—
The sound of a bus engine roaring down the street takes you off guard. You don't even register the rush of movement until it's too late.
Suddenly, there's a firm pressure against your shoulders, and you're stumbling—but not forward, no—backward. Stumbling directly into Jungkook's chest, his arms bracketing your body like they're the only thing stopping you from tumbling straight into the pavement.
Your breath catches, your heart pounding against your ribs. You freeze, blinking up at him in shock. "What the—"
He's close. Too close. His face hovers just inches from yours, his expression wide-eyed and… strained.
"Are you okay?" he blurts, his voice laced with breathless concern like he's just sprinted a marathon.
You don't answer. You can't answer. Because all you can think about is how the hell he even managed to grab you like that.
He was five meters away. Five meters away, Jungkook. There's no way he could've—
"What the fuck," you murmur under your breath, your mind racing a mile a minute as you shove yourself upright, still staring at him like he's grown a second head. "How—when—how the fuck did you just—"
"It was nothing!" he rushes out, cutting you off before you can finish your sentence. His voice cracks, and he's already letting go of you, stepping back like he's afraid of the scrutiny in your eyes. "I-I mean, reflexes? Adrenaline? Fight or flight? Haha…"
You narrow your eyes, suspicious once again. "…Right."
Jungkook scratches the back of his neck, the tips of his ears turning red. "Yeah, uh… it's all good. You're fine, right? Totally fine! So, uh… should we—keep walking? Yep, let's keep walking!"
He starts to turn away again, clearly desperate to move on, but you don't budge. You're too busy trying to piece together what just happened, trying to figure out how Jungkook keeps doing things that defy all logic and common sense.
And that's when it hits you.
Spider-Man. Fast reflexes. The ability to move like that without warning. You glance down at his feet, planted firmly on the ground, and then back up at his sheepish grin.
No fucking way.
"I'm leaving."
"No—come on, Tae, you promised!" Jungkook whines, clutching at Taehyung's shoulder like a child trying to stop his older sibling from walking out the door.
Taehyung stops mid-stride, turning to glare at him with an expression that's this close to murderous. "I promised you I'd study with you at the library," he hisses. "Not that we'd come here so you can sit there and drool all over her."
Jungkook freezes, eyes wide. "I—what?!"
"You heard me," Taehyung deadpans, shoving Jungkook's hand off his shoulder.
"I have no clue what you're talking about," Jungkook mumbles, feigning innocence as he suddenly averts his gaze.
Taehyung rolls his eyes so hard it's a miracle they don't get stuck. "Kook, you've been staring at her table since we walked in. Don't even try to deny it."
"I—have not!" Jungkook protests, voice pitching just slightly higher than normal. His head jerks around, and of course his eyes instinctively flicker to your table. The one three meters to the left. The one where you're currently sitting, completely engrossed in your notes, pencil moving methodically across the page like it's the only thing that matters in the world.
You're breathtaking. Ethereal. Like a beam of light in the dull, dusty gloom of the library.
And honestly, Jungkook's not even sure why he's into you. Okay, maybe he's a little sure. Or a lot. But that's not the point—the point is—he is definitely not staring. Not staring, not drooling. Definitely.
"You're doing it right now, man," Taehyung mutters, arms crossed.
"I'm not!"
"You are."
"I'm not! It's just—" Jungkook swallows, gesturing vaguely in your direction. "I was just… checking out the table. It's a nice table! Good wood quality, sturdy legs. The craftsmanship is—"
"Good wood quality?" Taehyung repeats, staring at him like he's lost his mind.
Jungkook groans, throwing his hands up in defeat. "Fine! Okay! Maybe I glanced at her for a second. It's not a crime, hyung!"
Taehyung lets out a long-suffering sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose like he's already regretting his life choices. "I am so done with you," he mutters. But even as the words leave his mouth, he walks toward one of the tables anyway and plops his bag down into one of the vacant chairs.
"Sit," he grumbles, motioning vaguely to the chair across from him. "And don't make me regret this."
Jungkook doesn't need to be told twice. He practically trips over himself as he sits, trying to act cool and not-at-all-focused on the fact that you're sitting so close. So close that he can see the faint furrow in your brow as you concentrate, or the way you absentmindedly tap the end of your pencil against your notebook.
He's not staring. Definitely not staring. Probably.
"You're staring again," Taehyung says flatly, not even bothering to look up from his own notes.
"No, I'm not!" Jungkook hisses, slouching lower in his chair.
Taehyung snorts. "Okay, Mr. 'Good Wood Quality.' Sure."
Jungkook tries. He really does. He's here to study—or at least, he's here to pretend to study—and he's determined to do something productive. Something library-like. Something that doesn't involve spending the entire time sneaking glances at you like some lovesick idiot.
So, step one: grab a book. Easy. People in libraries read books, right? He can do that. Simple.
He meanders through the shelves, grabbing the first book that catches his eye. He doesn't even check the title. Doesn't matter. A book's a book.
Step two: sit down. Done. Chair, occupied. Book, open.
Step three: look at the book like he's actually reading it.
He squints at the text, hoping his brain will absorb something through sheer willpower because god knows his mind sure as hell isn't cooperating right now. Every five seconds, it drifts back to the table three meters away, where you're still sitting, still taking notes, still looking unfairly... breathtaking.
"Jungkook," Taehyung mutters, his voice barely above a grumble as he glances up from his own book. "Why the fuck are you reading that?"
"What?" Jungkook blinks, startled, then looks down at the book in his hands for the first time.
Advanced Theoretical Physics.
Oh.
"You don't even study physics," Taehyung points out flatly, his tone dripping with judgment.
Jungkook flushes, slamming the book shut and fumbling to shove it under the table. "I—uh—thought it looked interesting."
Taehyung stares at him. "Sure you did."
Before Jungkook can come up with anything to salvage what's left of his dignity, you—of all people—decide to stand up, and all the air in Jungkook's lungs promptly decides to leave with you.
Oh, god. You're moving. Why are you moving? Where are you going? Should he say something? Should he act casual? Should he—
You shift slightly, gathering your things, and suddenly Jungkook's heart is doing this weird thing where it's racing and stuttering and flipping over itself, and now his body is moving before his brain can even think to stop it.
"Gotta go," he blurts, practically tripping over his chair as he bolts to his feet. "To the bathroom. I have to—pee. Yeah, really super really need to pee right now. See you in a bit!"
Taehyung looks up, stunned, as Jungkook all but sprints toward the library exit. "What the—wait—"
But Jungkook's already halfway across the library, muttering curses under his breath as he tries not to make it obvious that he's absolutely not going to the bathroom.
Taehyung sighs deeply, dragging a hand down his face before muttering to himself, "He's gonna get us banned from this place, isn't he?"
Jungkook's halfway to the library exit, heart pounding, when he realizes something odd.
You're not heading to the exit.
You're not even walking toward the bathroom.
He skids to a stop, trying very hard to play it cool, to act like he's not absolutely clocking your every move. His hands find their way into his hoodie pocket as he leans against the nearest bookshelf, pretending to scan the titles like he's not also sneaking glances at you over his shoulder.
Okay, so you're not leaving. That's fine. Totally normal. You're just… heading deeper into the library. Toward some distant corner, weaving past tables and shelves like you've got some secret mission.
And Jungkook? Jungkook is absolutely not a stalker. He's not. He's just curious. That's it. Normal behavior. Normal library behavior for a normal freshman.
Totally not unhinged.
But then you disappear behind a bookshelf, and his feet are moving before his brain can step on the brakes.
He follows, not too fast—just casual-like. Normal person stuff. Nothing suspicious. His eyes dart between shelves as he tries to spot where you went, his stomach doing this weird twisty thing that's part nerves, part excitement, part oh-god-why-am-I-like-this anxiety.
And just when he thinks he's catching up, just when he rounds the corner of yet another shelf and is about to spot you—
Yank.
Jungkook barely has time to register what's happening before soft hands grab him by the hoodie and pull him into a small, cramped room. His back bumps into something solid—he thinks it's the door—and suddenly you're standing right there, close enough that he can see every detail of your face, from the faint line of concentration on your forehead to the subtle curl of your lips as you exhale sharply.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.
"You," you exhale, your voice sharp but quiet. "Have some explaining to do, young mister."
Jungkook's mouth opens, but nothing comes out. His brain is short-circuiting, sparking like a broken circuit board, because—how? Why? When? What?
"I—uh—I—what?" he stammers, blinking rapidly as his eyes dart around the tiny supply closet you've dragged him into. It's all brooms and cleaning supplies and the faint smell of lemon disinfectant, and holy fuck, it is too small in here. You're too close.
"Don't play dumb," you mutter, arms crossing as you lean back just slightly—not enough to give him actual breathing room, but enough to make him feel like he's being scrutinized under a microscope. "You've been acting… weird."
"Weird?" He squeaks, his voice cracking embarrassingly. "Me? Weird? No, I'm not weird! I'm—uh—normal! Super normal! The most normal person ever!"
Your brow arches, the skepticism written all over your face making his knees weak. "Normal people don't act like they've got something to hide," you reply evenly.
"I don't have anything to hide!" he says way too quickly, voice pitching high again.
You don't look convinced. Not one bit.
Jungkook swallows hard, his throat suddenly dry as he tries to come up with an excuse, a cover, a way to escape both this tiny-ass room and the weight of your accusing gaze.
But all he can think about is how close you are. How your voice sounds louder in this little space. How your shampoo smells faintly like citrus. How utterly and completely trapped he feels—not just against the door, but under the intensity of your stare.
And he's so screwed. So screwed.
"The bus thing," you say, and Jungkook feels his entire soul leave his body for approximately three seconds before crash-landing right back into his chest with a painful thud.
"What bus thing?" he asks, trying for innocent confusion, but his voice comes out more like a strangled whisper. "There are lots of bus things. Buses are everywhere. Seoul's public transport system is very efficient and—"
"Three days ago," you cut him off, eyes narrowing. "When I almost got hit."
Oh.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
The memory hits him like a freight train. Three days ago. That stupid bus driver who didn't see you crossing. The way his heart had stopped dead in his chest when he realized you were about to—and he'd just—without thinking—
He'd used his webs.
On you.
In broad daylight.
As Jungkook.
Not Spider-Man.
Just... regular freshman Jeon Jungkook, who definitely shouldn't have access to web-shooters or superhuman reflexes or the ability to yank someone out of harm's way from five meters away.
"I don't—" he starts, but his mouth is dry, his tongue feeling too big for his mouth. "That was just—"
"Just what?" you press, leaning closer. "Just adrenaline? Just reflexes? Just another totally normal thing that totally normal freshmen do?"
"Yes?" he squeaks, pressing himself further against the shelf on his back like he might somehow phase through it if he tries hard enough.
Your eyes narrow further. "Really."
"Really!" He nods frantically. "I mean, haven't you heard those stories? About moms lifting cars off their kids? Same thing! Totally the same thing. Chemistry major stuff. Very scientific. Fight or flight response. Cortisol. Adrenaline. Biology... things."
"You're not a chemistry major."
"I could be!"
"You're in communications."
"...Minor in chemistry?"
You stare at him for a long moment, and Jungkook swears he can feel sweat beginning to bead at the back of his neck. This closet is too small. The air is too thick. You're too close, and your eyes are too sharp, and oh god, he's really messed up this time hasn't he?
"Jungkook," you say, voice low and steady. "How exactly did you pull me away from that bus?"
"I... ran really fast?"
"You were five meters away."
"I'm... very athletic?"
"Five meters, Jungkook."
He swallows hard, adam's apple bobbing nervously. "Would you believe me if I said I've been working out?"
The look you give him could probably melt steel. "Try again."
"Yoga?"
"Jungkook."
"Pilates?"
You lean even closer, if that's possible, and Jungkook's pretty sure his heart is about to explode right out of his chest. "One more chance," you murmur. "Tell me the truth."
And god, he wants to. He really, really wants to. Because you're right there, looking at him with those eyes that see right through him, and he's tired of lying, tired of pretending, tired of—
"I just..." he starts, voice barely above a whisper. "I couldn't let you get hurt."
Your expression softens, just slightly, but your gaze remains unwavering. "How did you do it?"
"I—"
Just as Jungkook's about to bolt, there's a distinct click that makes both of you freeze.
"What the—?" You whirl around, pushing past him to grab the handle. It doesn't budge. You try again, yanking harder this time. Nothing.
"You must be fucking kidding me," you mutter under your breath, jiggling the handle with increasing frustration.
And that's when Jungkook realizes several things at once:
1. Someone's locked you two in.
2. The closet is tiny.
3. You're pressed up against him trying to open the door.
4. Your ass is—
Oh god.
Oh god.
This cannot be happening. Not again. Not after the coffee shop incident. Not after he literally had to swing away to deal with his... situation.
"Fuck," he breathes, trying to press himself further into the piece of furniture behind him, but there's nowhere to go. The shelves dig into his back as he attempts to create even an inch of space between your bodies.
His hands hover awkwardly at his sides, not daring to touch you, not daring to move. His breath catches in his throat as you shift again, still wrestling with the door handle, completely oblivious to the way each movement sends sparks of electricity through his entire body.
"Hey!" you call out, banging on the door. "This isn't funny!"
Focus on something else, Jungkook tells himself desperately. Anything else. Math. Chemistry. Professor Kim's boring lectures. That time Jimin ate an entire jar of kimchi and—
You shift again, and Jungkook has to bite his lip to suppress a strangled noise.
"Seriously," you growl, hitting the door again. "Whoever's out there better unlock this right now or I swear to god—"
Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. Dead puppies. Tax forms. Spidey suit chafing. Anything but how soft you feel against—
"Jungkook?" Your voice cuts through his desperate mental gymnastics. "You okay? You're breathing kind of weird."
"Fine!" he squeaks, voice way too high to be convincing. "Totally fine! Just, uh... claustrophobic! Very claustrophobic. Super claustrophobic. Did I mention I'm claustrophobic?"
You turn your head slightly, and even in the dim light, he can see your brow furrow. "Since when?"
"Since... right now?"
Another shift of your hips as you try the handle again, and Jungkook has to close his eyes, silently praying to whatever deity might be listening to either kill him now or get him out of this situation before he combusts from sheer embarrassment.
Because if you notice... if you realize... oh god, he'll never live it down. He'll have to transfer schools. Change his name. Move to a different country. Become a hermit in the mountains where no one will ever find him—
"Can you try pushing while I pull?" you ask, completely unaware of his internal crisis.
Jungkook makes a sound that might be agreement, might be distress, might be his soul leaving his body. He's not really sure anymore.
All he knows is that he's trapped in a closet with you, with your body pressed against his, and his spidey-sense is absolutely no help because apparently it doesn't warn him about situations that might kill him from pure mortification.
"Jungkook?" you prompt again, and he realizes he hasn't moved to help with the door.
"Right!" he says quickly, voice cracking. "Sorry! Just... give me a second to... uh... mentally prepare."
You snort. "For pushing a door?"
"Yes," he says weakly, because what else can he say? 'Sorry, I need a minute because you feel too good pressed against me and I'm trying very hard not to embarrass myself'?
Yeah, no. He'd rather die.
Jungkook does what you say. He really does. He plants his palms flat against the door, muscles tensing as he tries to push in time with your pulls. But it's too much. Too much to focus on, too close, too you.
His very healthy, very 21-year-old brain is absolutely screaming some unfortunate, very, very filthy thoughts right now, and no amount of silently yelling at himself to stop it, stop it, STOP IT seems to be working.
Push and pull. Yeah, he's thinking of that in an entirely different context, and honestly, sue him. He's a guy. A guy experiencing literal hell because your ass keeps brushing against him every time you shift, and it's doing things to him.
You move again, and Jungkook swears he's going to lose it. Like, right here. On the spot. His knees are weak, his palms are sweating, and his brain is running on some kind of autopilot loop of, "Abort mission! Shut it down! This is a disaster!"
Fuck him. Fuck his life. Just take him now, death. Send the reaper. Hell, send Taehyung to throw him into the Han River. Anything but this.
But then—just as his brain reaches critical overload—you stiffen.
Oh no.
You turn your head slightly, glancing at him over your shoulder, and the look in your eyes is... not great. In fact, it's terrifying.
"Jungkook," you say, his name an ominous warning.
His whole body seizes, every alarm in his mind blaring at full volume as sweat beads at the back of his neck. "Yeah?" he squeaks, his voice cracking so hard he wants to dig his own grave and lie in it.
"Are you hard?"
Oh, fuck.
Oh FUCK.
His brain short-circuits. His entire being freezes. His soul? Gone. It has left the building. His vision blurs at the edges as the words echo around the tiny closet, bouncing off every surface and hitting him square in the chest over and over again.
"I—uh—what?" he stammers, his voice so high-pitched it might as well be a dog whistle.
You straighten, still half-facing him, and your brow furrows with that look of realization that makes him want to throw himself into the sun.
"You are," you say, your tone shifting between disbelief and a growing edge of... amusement?
"I—I—no—what? No, I'm not! That's—no, that's ridiculous!" He tries to back away automatically, but there's nowhere to go, and his shoulders slam against the wood behind him.
You fully turn at this point, arms crossing as you raise a suspicious eyebrow. "Really, Jungkook?" Your eyes drift ever so slightly downward, and oh no oh no oh no don't look down don't look down don't look down.
He flails. Not physically, thankfully, but mentally? He's losing it. He's scrambling for something, anything, to salvage even a shred of dignity.
"It's—it's not what you think!" he blurts out, his hands flying up defensively. "It's—it's the—the door! Yeah! This stupid closet! I told you I was claustrophobic, right? That's gotta... do something... biologically... right?"
You stare at him, unimpressed. Completely, utterly unimpressed.
"It's not me," he continues, voice cracking again because his body is betraying him. "It's—it's like—science! Random reaction!"
"...Random reaction." Your expression is unreadable now, which somehow makes this worse.
"Totally random," he insists, nodding way too quickly. "You know, like... blood flow! Hormones! Human anatomy! It's a thing! You can look it up!"
"Oh, I'll look it up," you mutter, the corner of your mouth twitching like you're trying very hard not to laugh.
"Please don't," Jungkook whispers, his face burning so hot he's genuinely worried the fire alarm's going to go off.
And honestly? He doesn't even care if the fire alarm goes off at this point. He'd happily burn in this library right now if it meant escaping the absolute mortification of this moment.
Jungkook is fairly certain he's about to pass out, maybe die, and definitely disintegrate into dust when it happens. You turn around, shift again, just slightly, your body brushing against him in a way that feels… deliberate?
Or is his brain just playing tricks on him now?
Oh god. Oh fuck. Is this some cruel, sick hallucination brought on by his overactive imagination? Is his mind punishing him for thinking all those filthy, traitorous thoughts earlier? Why can't he have some kind of superpower to read minds right now? Be Professor X or some shit, because at this point, anything would be better than not knowing what the hell is going through your head right now.
Do you think he's a creep? A weirdo? A perverted little freshman who can't keep it together for five fucking minutes?
Or—
The thought makes his stomach flip violently, a spark of something hot—and definitely dangerous—shooting down his spine as you shift again.
Or do you find this… fun?
Amusing?
Arousing?
Because there's something about the way you're not stepping back, the way you're not recoiling in disgust, the way your breaths are just slightly heavier than before, that's making Jungkook's head spin.
And then you chuckle—low, quiet, but unmistakable.
"This is the first time this has ever happened to me," you mutter, the sound light but laced with something he can't quite name.
But he doesn't care what it's laced with. He doesn't even care what it means.
Because oh god, that chuckle—he'd bottle it if he could. He'd trap it in a jar and keep it with him forever, listen to it on repeat like a favorite playlist, let it echo in his head until he went insane from the sound of it alone.
His mouth opens, but no words come out. His body is frozen, his brain completely fried, every single one of his senses hyper-focused on the fact that you're still right there, pressed against him, closer than you've ever been before.
Say something, dumbass, his brain screams at him. Anything. Literally anything.
"I—it's not my fault?" he manages weakly, his voice cracking so pathetically he wants to punch himself.
You laugh again, and this time there's no mistaking it—there's something mischievous in it, like you're enjoying watching him squirm. And oh no, oh god, you're enjoying this.
"I didn't say it was," you reply, your voice smooth, calm, fucking deadly.
Jungkook swallows hard. His legs feel like they're about to give out any second now. His palms are clammy. His heart is doing that thing where it feels like it's both racing and stopping entirely at the same time.
"I—uh—should we try the door again?" he stammers, trying desperately to redirect the situation before his entire body spontaneously combusts from the sheer tension in the air.
You hum softly, not answering right away, and Jungkook feels every muscle in his body tense in response.
You keep moving, but now it's with purpose—up and down motions that are too deliberate to be anything but intentional. Like you're actually trying to... to get him off. Right here. In this tiny closet. In the fucking library.
Jungkook's mind is gone. Absolutely fucking gone. His consciousness has left his body, floating somewhere near the ceiling as he tries to process what's happening. He's honestly shocked he hasn't passed out yet, given how fast his blood is rushing south.
His hands hover awkwardly over your hips, trembling with the effort not to touch. His teeth dig into his bottom lip, desperate to hold back the embarrassing sounds threatening to escape. Because he refuses to pant like some desperate animal, even though that's exactly what you're reducing him to.
But then—oh fuck—you reach back, grabbing his hands. And before his brain can catch up, you're placing them firmly on your hips.
"It's okay," you murmur, your voice low and honey-sweet. "You can touch me."
The permission makes him shudder, a full-body tremor that he couldn't suppress if he tried. Your hand slides over his, guiding it upward, and his breath catches in his throat as you move it higher, and higher, and—
Oh god.
You press his palm against your breast, and Jungkook's brain completely flatlines.
A pathetic whimper escapes him before he can stop it. His fingers twitch against the soft swell under your shirt, and he's pretty sure he's died. This is death. This is heaven. This is some kind of fever dream his horny brain has cooked up.
"Is this really happening?" he whispers, his voice raw and desperate. "Like, actually happening? Not just another dream or—"
He cuts himself off, realizing what he just admitted, but it's too late. The words are already out there, hanging in the heated air between you.
"Another dream?" you repeat, and he can hear the smirk in your voice. "You dream about this often, Jungkook-ah?"
Fuck.
"Way too often," he confesses, the words spilling from his mouth before his brain can catch up. And yeah, that's definitely because his mind has completely checked out. Because normal Jungkook? Coherent Jungkook? Would rather die than admit something like that.
But normal Jungkook isn't here right now. Normal Jungkook left the building the moment you pressed his hand to your breast. Now there's just... this Jungkook. The one who can't think straight because you're letting him squeeze and touch and feel, and your ass is doing absolutely criminal things against his cock.
His forehead drops to your neck, breath coming in heavy pants that he can't control anymore. Fuck trying to be quiet. Fuck trying to be composed. His hips move on their own, grinding forward to match your rhythm.
Because you gave him permission, right? You said he could touch. You guided his hands. So this is okay. This is allowed. This isn't just another fevered fantasy his desperate brain cooked up at 3 AM.
"Noona," he breathes against your skin, the honorific slipping out again because his filter is completely gone. His fingers flex against your breast, testing, exploring, learning what makes your breath hitch. "Fuck."
You guide his movements with a confidence that makes his head spin, showing him exactly how to touch you. His fingers find your nipple through the fabric, and the way it peaks under his touch makes him dizzy with want. Your hand stays over his, encouraging him to squeeze, to explore, to learn.
And Jungkook? He's never been this hard in his entire fucking life.
He's pathetic, really. Getting this worked up from some dry humping and breast play like he's fifteen instead of twenty-one. Sure, they're absolutely amazing tits—perfect, actually, fitting in his palm like they were made for his touch—but still. He's broadcasting his virginity like a fucking neon sign, getting this desperate this fast.
But he can't help it. Can't stop the way his hips keep rolling against you, seeking more friction, more pressure, more. He knows he's close—can feel it building in his abdomen, that telltale tingling that makes his toes curl in his stupid mismatched socks.
"Noona," he whimpers against your shoulder, the sound muffled by your shirt. "Noona, I'm—fuck—"
His breath comes in sharp, desperate pants. He's making these absolutely embarrassing sounds—little whimpers and moans he has to muffle against your skin because if anyone heard him like this, he'd actually die on the spot.
The pressure builds, and builds, and builds, until he's grinding back helplessly, practically sobbing because it feels so good he can't stand it. His free hand grips your hip like a lifeline, probably too hard, definitely leaving marks, but he can't help it.
"Please," he chokes out, though he's not sure what he's begging for. "Please, I'm—I can't—"
He's going to come in his pants like a fucking teenager, and the worst part? He doesn't even care anymore.
"It's okay, Jungkook-ah," you murmur, voice honey-sweet and deadly. "Let go for noona."
And that's—that should be illegal. The way those words hit him is criminal, making his whole body seize up like he's been electrocuted. His hips stutter, losing rhythm as everything goes white-hot. He groans against your shoulder, embarrassingly loud even muffled against the fabric, as his orgasm hits him like a fucking freight train.
He came. He just—he actually just—came in his pants. Like some inexperienced kid who's never been touched before.
Mortifying. Absolutely fucking mortifying.
A hiccup escapes him, something between a sob and a whimper, and he wants to disappear. To evaporate. To cease existing entirely.
"Hey," you whisper, so soft it makes his chest ache. Your hand reaches back, fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck, and his skin erupts in goosebumps immediately at the gentle touch.
He wants to cry. Wants to apologize. Wants to explain that he's not usually this pathetic (lie), that he can last longer than three minutes (another lie), that he's not always this embarrassingly eager (the biggest lie of all).
But the words stick in his throat like clay, thick and suffocating. Because what can he possibly say? 'Sorry I just creamed my pants from some dry humping and titty grabbing?'
"It's okay," you murmur, and another hiccup escapes him.
No. No, don't do that. Don't pity him. Don't say those words like anything about this situation is remotely okay. Because it's not. It's the furthest thing from okay. He just—he literally just—
"I really liked that," you add, voice soft but sure.
Jungkook's head snaps up so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash. "What?"
You… liked it? How could you possibly have liked that? He barely lasted three minutes. He came in his pants like a middle schooler. He probably squeezed your tit too hard and left bruises on your hip and made the most embarrassing sounds and—
"How?" he croaks out, voice raw and disbelieving. "How could you—that was so—I'm so—"
Pathetic. Desperate. Inexperienced. Embarrassing.
His brain supplies about fifty different self-deprecating adjectives, but none of them make it past his lips because he's still trying to process the fact that you said you liked it.
The dam breaks.
Jungkook is crying. Tears spill over his flushed cheeks, unbidden and hot with shame, and oh god, he's really lost it now. He's crying, actually fucking crying, because apparently, being mortified isn't enough. No, his body has to betray him in every possible way all at once.
His blurred vision catches you turning around to face him, and then your hands—soft, warm—reach up to gently brush the tears away from his eyelids. The gesture makes him hiccup, and he immediately wants to crawl under the floorboards and die.
"It was cute," you murmur, and your tone is soft but steady, like you actually mean it.
"Don't say that," he mumbles, voice cracking as he ducks his head, his tears threatening to spill faster. He can't handle this. He really, really can't.
You smile—a smile so kind it feels like a dagger to his chest. "Why? I'm not lying."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"It was so embarrassing!" he bursts out, the words tumbling from his mouth in one long, panicked string. "I made such embarrassing sounds and—and I—I came in my pants and—"
"It's what I wanted," you interrupt, your words cutting through his spiraling like a blade.
He freezes, the tears still clinging to his lashes. His breath catches, the air suddenly clammy.
"...What?" he croaks, the word so small and broken it barely makes it past his lips. His mind blanks, unable to process what he just heard. Surely he misheard you, right? Surely this is some kind of cruel, shame-induced hallucination because there's no way.
"It's what I wanted," you repeat, your voice unwavering as you look him straight in the eye, your gaze too steady, too certain.
His breathing stutters. His tears momentarily forgotten, he stares at you, wide-eyed and silent, like you've just flipped his entire world upside down.
Your hand is still on his cheek, thumb brushing away the lingering wetness under his eye, and Jungkook can't look away from your face. Can't process the way you're looking at him—soft but certain, like you actually meant what you just said.
"But—" he starts, voice wavering. "But why would you—I mean, I—" He swallows hard, his face burning. "I barely even touched you. I just... got off on you like some desperate—"
"Because," you cut him off, your other hand coming up to frame his face, holding him still when he tries to look away. "I liked making you fall apart like that. Liked knowing I could affect you that much."
His breath catches. "But—"
"And," you continue, your thumb trailing down to brush over his bottom lip, making him shiver. "I liked how honest you were. How you couldn't hide how much you wanted it."
Jungkook's brain short-circuits again. Because what the fuck? What the actual fuck? You liked that he was desperate? That he was pathetic and needy and—
"The sounds you made," you murmur, leaning closer, close enough that he can feel your breath against his lips. "Were fucking hot."
He makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, caught somewhere between a whimper and a groan. Because this can't be real. This has to be some kind of fever dream. Some kind of post-orgasm hallucination.
"Noona," he breathes, his hands twitching at his sides, unsure if he's allowed to touch you again. "I—"
And then the door clicks.
Both of you freeze, heads snapping toward the sound. Light floods the closet as the door swings open, and there stands Taehyung, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
"Time's up, lovebirds!" he announces cheerfully. "Did you two work out your... tension?"
Jungkook is going to kill him. He's actually going to murder his best friend. Right after he dies of embarrassment. Again.
"Hyung," he croaks out, face burning hotter than the sun. "Did you—was this—did you plan this?!"
Taehyung just grins, wiggling his eyebrows. "You're welcome!"
I have to admit, this one took me a little longer (aside from my week of exams) because I wanted to look for Jimin stories, read them all the way through, and recommend them wholeheartedly. I don't usually read many stories about members other than Yoongi and Taehyung, but I like keeping these lists at around nine fics, and, if possible, including some older ones to, you know, switch things up a bit, and also bring old gems back to life because there are so many truly amazing fics out there, and this list? It was made with exactly that intention. Most of these fics are at least three years old (there's a 2017 gem in here, dude), but honestly, there's a little bit of everything! So, without further ado, I hope you enjoy your reading, my dearest readers!
One-shots:
HIDE AND SEEK by @inthelow
-> Summary: Jimin didn’t like you. He didn’t like your quick remarks, your witty humor, the way you talked, the way you walk, the way your boyfriend— his best friend— was always bringing you to the hangouts. The way you talked to him… Jimin just didn’t like you. So he didn’t know why he was about to fuck you in a dark closet while all your friends were looking for you two.
-> Review: Oh, you guys have no idea how long I've been wanting to recommend Nina because she's literally the love of my life, and this fic? It was the very first thing that came to mind when I started putting this list together. First of all, the smut is exquisite. Jimin? Ughh, I wanted to devour him. And even though the story doesn't have as much plot as some of the others on this list, it's still such an enjoyable read, especially if you're looking for something fun and easy to get through. (And it's inspired by blonde Jimin, which is reason enough.)
NEFARIOUS by @yoonia
-> Summary: Welcome to Club La Rouge, where your sexual fantasies come to life. Accepting his offer might cause inconveniences for both of you, but do you really have it in you to say no?
-> Review: When I say I was literally counting down the days until this fic was published, I mean it. This series is genuinely one of my favorites, and Jimin's plot? 100/10. When I found out it was finally being posted, I almost screamed from excitement because seriously, if you haven't read this series yet, you absolutely should. A private sex club with personalized, consensual services and Moulin Rouge aesthetics? The perfect read for a lonely night when you're in the mood to have some fun.
NEON SEOUL by @readyplayerhobi
-> Summary: It the city of New Seoul, another homicide isn’t newsworthy but instead just a statistic. But when the son of the mayor is murdered in an alley in a shady part of the city? Then it’s important.
You and your partner, Detective Park Jimin, are given the honour of investigating the crime. Will you find out who killed him? Or will you fail?
-> Review: Okay, so, this one is actually one of my favorites, if not my number one. The story? Incredible. The characters? Endearing. The mystery? Absolutely gripping. And don't even get me started on that damn plot twist because I would never stop talking about it. I think if you've seen my other lists, you already know my tastes are a little... peculiar, and when I stumbled upon this futuristic detective story filled with neon lights, mystery, and murder? I knew it was meant for me. The writing is incredibly descriptive and immersive, the plot is ridiculously engaging, and the smut is so on point. You should absolutely give it a read, especially with a little city pop playing in the background, I enjoyed it so much that way.
JUST DANCE IT OFF by @shadowkoo
-> Summary: You're over the moon when you land the female lead in the end-of-semester show. It feels like your hard work has finally paid off, everything is going great. Well, until you learn who your partner is…
-> Review: To be honest, I'm not usually a huge fan of enemies to lovers... but I genuinely loved it here. I initially started this story because the ballet au caught my attention, but I ended up staying for the relationship between the characters. Usually, unlikeable characters aren't really that, well, unbearable, but this Jimin? I had to physically restrain myself from wanting to punch his beautiful face at the beginning of the fic lol. It's not as long as some of the others on this list, nor is it particularly deep, but it's definitely a fun read that you should give a try if enemies to lovers with a little spice and a whole lot of built-up tension is your thing!
HEARTBREAK INSURANCE by @jimlingss
-> Summary: With affordable and comprehensible solutions, we are committed to meet your needs today! We cover and care for you in your most vulnerable times, offering paid time off, therapy sessions and care packages. Because heartbreak is pain too.
-> Review: Out of all the ones on this list, this was the sweetest one for me. It had no smut —like, zero— but I promise it’s absolutely worth it. Jimin is such a sweetheart, a truly endearing character who has you smiling at your screen the whole time. And the oc? So real. Like, honestly, I would also commit fraud and do everything she did just to get a break from my job lol. It’s a very unique au that’s part of a series (I think all seven members are included), and I promise you won’t regret reading it! It has such a soft, comforting ending. Definitely added to my comfort fic list.
BLOOMING by @yoongiofmine
-> Summary: When staying at your cousin’s home for a couple of days, all you expected was to attend the wedding of an old friend and catch up with family. But then she’s dragging you to her boyfriend’s concert and you just can’t help but fall into the charms of the band’s guitar player.
-> Review: Band aus are some of my absolute favorites, and when I found this one while going through the profiles of the people I follow, I almost screamed from excitement because ughhh, it looked so good. And trust me, it is. It’s short and doesn’t really have much of a plot in the traditional sense; everything happens in a single night, but it’s the night. Having a “little adventure” in an arcade with your cousin’s boyfriend’s bandmate, where the tension is at an all-time high every second, with laughter, subtle touches, and looks that say more than a thousand words, is honestly everything you need for a lazy Saturday afternoon when you don’t know what to do with your life. The ending is open, but it ends well, I promise.
Series:
THE DEMON IS IN THE DETAILS by @colormepurplex2
-> Summary: It was a terrible idea—letting your friend bury that box at the crossroads. She claimed it was just for fun, but in the end, you were the one faced with paying the ultimate price. The devil—or in this case, demon—is in the details, so be sure to read between the lines, or you just might lose your soul.
-> Review: A short three-part series that has everything you need in a fic for a great night: amazing writing, an interesting plot, and incredibly satisfying smut. You can find all of that in this fic!! To be honest, I would've loved to learn more about Jimin's world and the concept of hell in this au, but that wasn't really the main focus of the story, and honestly, you don't need it to understand what's going on. You should definitely give it a chance if you're looking for a good spicy Jimin fic with a little bit of plot mixed in!
RAISE THE BARRE by @kpopfanfictrash
-> Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.
-> Review: I know, I know, two Jimin ballet fics with the enemies-to-lovers trope? Seriously, Massi? Okay, I know it might seem a little repetitive... but honestly, I just love this au with Jimin. Seeing him in a universe where he became a contemporary or ballet dancer is, I don't know, my comfort zone. It's a bit on the longer side, but it's totally worth it. I absolutely loved the tension between the characters and the way everything slowly unfolded between them!
NOVOCAINE by @kinktae
-> Summary: Going home was hard – painful even. But falling back in love with Jimin, the boy you left behind? Downright gut-wrenching.
-> Review: I'd been waiting to read this series for such a long time —like, years— and I finally got the chance to do it, and I don't regret it one bit. The Rewind Series has a concept that I absolutely love, and Jimin's part in particular had me so excited because I ADORE the exes-to-lovers trope. To be honest, it's a little angsty (please read the warnings!), but if you're anything like me and enjoy a good story with angst in the background, then this is definitely your kind of fic, especially if you want to see a young punk Jimin in the '90s.
