TV Grimoire

Spells, curses, and enchantments from television and film formatted for use

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Phoebe’s spell to know your hearts desire: Charmed S4E14

Ever worry that you’re boyfriend is secretly the source of all evil? (My advice is to dump him and kick his ass out the door with some powdered Cayenne in his shoes- but that’s just me) Maybe your question is a little less dramatic. Give this a go and see your answer!

Modified for those of us without the ability to corporeally summon our past and future selves

This is also potentially a good way to test out and practice your scrying skills!

TIMING SUGGESTION: New or Full Moon (new if you’re starting out on something, Full if you need a power boost), Friday for questions of love, Sunday for questions about work/vocation, Wednesday for questions about money

YOU NEED:

Fire proof cast iron skillet

Water

Herbs associated with your question (roses and jasmine for sex and love, mint for money)

Candle corresponding to your questions (there a billion and one color correspondence guides on this website)

Paper and marker

DO THIS : Set up your chair so you can comfortably sit for a long period of time. You’ll also want to make sure you’re in a place that you won’t be disturbed for a long time, at least 30 min but really an hour. 

Set up the candle so it stands behind the water filled cast iron skillet. The candle’s flame should reflect upon the water. 

Write your yes or no question on a piece of paper. “Should I marry Cole?” “Should I become mistress of all evil?” “Should I go on the snag the hottest dude in the whole show?” 

Darken the room that you’re working in. Like you want it to be daaaark and light the candle so it’s the only source of light in the room. 

Pick up the herbs and meditate on the question. When the question is loudest in your mind gently scatter the herbs over the water. 

Now roll up the paper with the question written on it and say: 

My love is strong, my spirit weak

It is an answer that I seek

A question burns within this fire

So I may hear my hearts desire

(For questions about work substitute ‘love’ for ‘mind’  or ‘will’)

Let the fire burn for a few moments and then drop it into the water filled cast iron skillet.

Sit and gaze into the water. Relax your eyes and focus on the flicker of the flame in the reflection, let your eyelids fall to half close and allow your consciousness to drift into a trance state. To reach this, I like to focus on the darkness and light and let it fill my mind and rock slightly back and forth. Eventually images will form in your mind or on the water. Don’t be judgmental or try to interpret them, hold gently and let them come and go, like you’re holding a live bird. This can take some time, sometimes up to a full hour. It’s also a skill, you’ll get better the more that you practice. 

When done, turn on the lights, blow out the candle, dump the water and oil your cast iron so it doesn’t rust! Write down everything you saw, heard, smelled, tasted, or felt without judgement, THEN INTERPRET! 

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Sabrina’s Spider Curse E1S1

Here’s a curse for those “desperate times.” There’s a running list of people in my back pocket I wouldn’t mind trying this little number on... just kidding! **Nervous Laughter** This spell relies on some really old school techniques- using the image of your enemy, calling on animal familiars, using witchcraft to enact spectral terrors- while still being pretty simple! As always, practice safe hex! Suggested timings: Dark moon, Saturday, Moon in Scorpio  What you’ll need: A photo of your enemy (I suggest adding in their hair or an object they own) A container A ton of spiders  (or maybe try the plastic ones they sell during Halloween) Place your spiders in the seal-able container (if for some reason you have access to live spiders make sure it’s a breathable one) and add your photo and other items connected to your target. Visualize your spiders crawling all over your target. Their face, their body EVERYWHERE. This is a curse, so make it as graphic as your little black heart desires. When the image is strong in your mind say: Spider oh spider, why do you spin 

your pretty white web so fine and so thin?

To catch fat flies and make them into pies.

Spider oh spider, pray do you not see,

here comes a big buzzing blundering bee.

He’ll spoil your white net as you fume and you fret

But no mercy you grant and no mercy you’ll get. Keep the image in you mind as long as you can hold it and repeat the incantation until you feel satisfied. If you want an extra vavoom try burying the container at a crossroads at midnight, AS LONG AS YOU ARE USING FAKE SPIDERS. If you are using real spiders, go to a mirror, look into your own eyes and ask why do you have so many spiders in your life?! 

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AHS Veritas Spell S3E4

Ah Myrtle, serving truth and looks. She’s not a supreme but we can learn a thing or two from this red headed witch.

If you want to serve the spirit of truth or maybe you just need to get the facts straight here’s a spell to enchant someone’s tongue to only tell the truth.

Word to the wise- it only works as long as they have a tongue to speak with.

Notes- I fill in a couple gaps and there is a symbol in the book Myrtle is using I don’t recognize, and I don’t use magic if I don’t know what it is.

You’ll need:

5 while candles

Deers tongue

Cup of water

Picture of target that must tell the truth

Light 5 white candles around the cup of water. Encircle the cup of water with deers tongue herb. **do not consume the herb, it’s not safe for consumption and should be in a circle outside the cup.** place the photo of the person on top of the cup.

Say:

Veritas, Honurum, Justitia, Sapientia, Scientia.

I conjure and command thee, dark lord to Vernacular, summon truth from lying tongues.

Fie upon the wicked who love to throw sand in our eyes. With force I command thee, let truth be spoken!

When summoning spirits practice safe hex and always wear protective magic and don’t call anything up you can’t put back down.

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Vanessa Ives Protection Glyf S2E

Sometimes you just need to mark your territory. Also, who knows whose going to be knocking down your door? Nightwalkers, Satan, your Ex, your Ex who is also Satan?

Anyways- practice safer hex- blood magic carries specific risks.

Blood is also a pain in the ass to get up so if you rent that might be a problem.

You need-

An image of a protective animal spirit- her’s is a scorpion

A safe lancet or diabetic pricker

Go to the edge of your property where you want to set up a spiritual boundary.

Prick your finger and use your blood to create a glyf of a protecting animal spirit.

I suggest designing it with ink before hand.

Safer options-

Add a drop of your blood to ink and use a QTip to draw the design.

Omit blood entirely and add other more accessible bodily fluids to red ink.

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Get rid of your BF (Charmed e1s1)

Whatever do you do when you find out your lover is an evil warlock bent on destroying your kind? Ummm explode him into thorns- of course!

Who hasn’t dated someone only to find out later they are NOT who you signed up for. So sweet and thoughtful at first but then they turn into a monster- the Charmed Ones got your back! The show didn’t specify for parts so I filled in some herbs and oils.

The Goods:

9 White candles

1 Red Rose with Thorns

Poppet made of soft clay

Garlic clove

Black pepper

Flying devil oil

The Spell:

Anoint the candles with the flying devil oil (I’d use a q-tip cause it makes me itch) and put the black pepper and garlic on the tops of the candles.  Arrange them in a circle around where you will be working. Light the candles.

Form a poppet out of the soft clay (I’d include something from the person you’re breaking up with) form a clear picture in your head of them as you form the poppet.

Say:

Your love will wither and depart from my life and my heart. Let me be Jeremy* and go away forever.

Press the rose into the poppet and lay it down in your work space.

I’m not looking to break up so I don’t need this spell but I’d love to hear how this work for someone.

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Going to the Sabbat (Salem E1 S1)

Who wants to hang out with your witchy pals in a pool of black hell fire? Um EVERYONE that’s who!

Salem is a delightful violent paranormal romp through psudohistorical Massachusetts Colony with diabolical witches and very unlikable heroes. Honestly I’ve never rooted for apocalyptic catastrophe before this show. The witches meet up for complete a ritual in the woods in the first episode and this is how they get there.

Word of caution- Flying Ointments are no joke. Read the ingredients of the one you buy and don’t be afraid to only experiment with the non-toxic ones. I’m sure the man in black will be glad to have you all the same. I’m going to deviate from the show because I don’t think it’s a good idea to use the flying ointment in the same way they do.

Just because people in history or TV history do something doesn’t make it a good idea. They also believed bathing was unhealthy and that Shane West was more attractive then Iddo Goldberg, a truly unforgivable heresy.

You need:

Flying ointment

Something to excite your lust (maybe a vibrator or dildo-whatever floats your boat)

A good friend to get you off and say the spell

Consider setting up some protective wards since you’ll be leaving your body vacant for a bit

Lie down comfortably on your back and rub a pea sized amount of the flying ointment over the bottoms of your feet and the curve of your back.

Close your eyes and start to get yourself off and try and find yourself in a trance state.

Have your partner say:

One, Two, Three, and Four

Raise the Devil to our door

Call the pig, the wolf, the ram

Come to the circle all who can

Make him walk on floor to roof

Drink to him with horn and hoof

One, Two, Three, and Four

The Devil is here

Now sleep no more

And all the world shall be yours in return

Then enjoy your trip to the Sabbat!

If anyone gives this a whorl let me know how it went!

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Spirited Revenge Spell (Supernatural S2 E18)

Feel a little too exhausted to exact bloody revenge yourself? Maybe the day just has you wiped or you’re afraid the coppers will trace the crime back to you. Whatever your reason, sometimes it’s just good to have a ghost to do your bloody dirty work for you.

This is my favorite episode of Supernatural. No really. It is so self referential and funny. As a horror movie nerd in LA this episode speaks to me on a spiritual level (pun intended).

Now I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to transcribe the Latin from the show then spell checking to see if it was close… it wasn’t. Luckily the wonderful people down at tvtropes.org already did the heavy lifting.

They translated the summoning to “I invoke this nearby spirit to do my will” but I prefer “I call upon the dead to do my will.” Theirs is more accurate but I think mine is better.

You need:

A talisman consisting of an iron ring hung from a braided hemp cord, within the ring fasten human finger bones with twine so they form an X. (My best guess is this is a spirit trap, although it is not explicitly stated neither are the materials)

To be in proximity to your victim 

Personal wards against spirits, harm, and danger

What to do:

Cast a circle or set up protective magics, or both. Always practice safer hex.

Hold the talisman in you hand and call the spirits by saying: 

“Contra omnipotentem obsecro hos manes ut iuxtam accedent et fiant voluntas meam vi Enoch ego. Contra omnipotentum obsecro cum spiritum iuxta accedent et fatum meum….” hi spiritus, ut desiderium meum, coge *

Once you are in proximity to your victim say:

“Contra obsecro hunc spiritum iuxta ad facientum voluntatem meum”**

The spirits will enact your bloody revenge but take heed from those wily Winchester boys, don’t let anything happen to that talisman or else the spirits will enact revenge of their own.

** Both translations are from http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Recap/SupernaturalS02E18HollywoodBabylon

*I used google translate to come up with the bit after the ellipses but if you are that classics nerd I’ve been looking for feel free to send me a better translation of just my addition or the whole thing!

[thatemeraldkid-deactivated20180]

Witch of the Waste's Spell to Make a Curse Undetectable

The best part of that spell is you can’t tell anyone about it.

They won’t be able to know if they’re cursed, and neither will anyone else. Decreases odds of a curse being reversed or removed.

Items Needed:

1 black, square piece of paper

1 black or dark colored candle

1 white crayon (ayyy you actually get to use that thing)

One or more of the following: String, hot glue or regular glue, stuff for a wax seal, tape

Step 1: Light the candle. Take the piece of paper and, with the white crayon, write the target’s name in the middle. Then, turn the paper so that it looks to you like the name is written vertically (don’t worry, pictures will be included). In a straight line, write the intent of the curse you cast on the target. Make sure it intersects the name. Like this:

Then, turn it a bit more so it looks more like an upright ‘x’ from your perspective instead of a ’t’. (X’s just look more witchy.)

Step 2: Take the candle and drip wax onto what you’ve just written (be careful!). Do this until you can’t see the writing anymore. As you do this, say the following as many times as you wish:

This curse is not one that anyone will find. Though the effects will stay strong, the idea of a curse will not come to their mind. Hide this curse and hide it well. Let it not be discovered by divination, wit, or spell. If they try to investigate, let their results be but a question mark. Until I end this curse myself, they will stay in the dark.

Step 3: Fold the paper in half. Do one or more of the following (depending on the supplies you chose to gather): tie it up with string or seal it with tape/staples/hot glue/regular glue.

Step 4: Put the paper in a dark space that won’t be very hard to get to. Leave it there. If you ever want to undo this, just find the paper, unseal it, say “This spell I break. If they search for my curse, it will have a fair chance of being found.” Then, throw the paper away.

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Summon forest spirits (Camelot s1e2)

What to do when no one gives your your due respect as the only one of legitimate royal blood? Murder your father, banish your step mother, take up with your fathers enemy, and plot against your half brother, duh.

Scheming and plotting is hard though, so do like Morrigan and ask eldritch pagan wood spirits for some advice.

You need: A walnut branch (show doesn’t specify but walnut trees as associated with witchcraft) A knife (or be sensible and bring a sanitized lancet too)

What to do: Go to the woods at night when the moon is full and you will not be disturbed.

Drop to your knees and draw a circle around yourself into the mud. Dig a shallow hole in the east.

Cut a lock of your hair and put it in the hole. Next drawl blood from your hand and let it drip into the hole. Finally spit into the hole then fill it.

The wind will shake the trees and the spirits will speak to you.