The Shit-Posting Central Office @twatsonreborn - Tumblr Blog

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

doublism

i don't really think it's like that at all

theonion

Saying they saw no reason to limit any potential agricultural use of the flammable combination of gelling agents and gasoline, officials at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency approved napalm as a pesticide Friday. “Following a thorough review, the EPA has found that napalm, with its ability to burn at temperatures exceeding 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit, is highly effective for both weed management and pest control,” said Administrator Lee Zeldin, who sought to assure the public that the highly incendiary liquid, which removes unwanted insects, fungus, rodents, raccoons, and deer with the press of a flamethrower trigger, posed no threat to human health whatsoever.

Full Story

theehorsepusssy

theonion

The Most Unbreakable Records In Sports History

Despite advances in technology, training, and performance optimization, some achievements in sports have stood the test of time. The following athletic records remain unbroken.

closet-keys

Israel systematically targets the health of pregnant mothers and infants in Gaza. This is a reality every parent in Gaza knows. It has also been confirmed repeatedly by others. Pediatric healthcare professionals in Gaza have been bravely speaking out about how Israel is currently using restrictions of formula into Gaza to torture and kill Palestinian babies.

closet-keys

My friend Nader recently became an uncle to his newborn baby niece, Masa. Due to the traumatic stress and malnutrition experienced under genocidal conditions, many mothers cannot produce breast-milk. Masa, like tens of thousands of other babies in Gaza, relies on formula to survive. Today, Nader told me that this little girl is in the hospital now due to a severe chest infection. She is only 8 days old. Please help her.

abdalsalam-2000

I woke up today to the tears of my brother's wife, the mother of little Masa, who is suffering from a severe chest infection and is currently in the hospital under medical care. We implore you, friends, to help us get out of this situation and donate to buy milk and other necessary baby supplies for this child so we can leave Gaza. Please don't hesitate to donate.

closet-keys

Nader's fundraising is vetted (gazavetters #4) and supports his large family of nine people, including small children of which little Masa is the youngest. Israel's systematic targeting of children means that the price of formula, diapers, medicine, and other basic supplies are extremely expensive. Please help him raise the funds needed to help innocent Masa survive genocidal conditions.

abdalsalam-2000

The little girl is still in the hospital under observation and receiving intravenous injections to reduce the inflammation in her chest. It's making it difficult for her to breathe and prevent her from drinking milk. Please help us and donate to save this child. Please don't leave us alone. Please, please donate now. Every donation can save a life. Please donate now.

ot3

please help nader provide medical care for his infant niece and the rest of his family

abdalsalam-2000

I can't believe this is happening in an hour. This post has almost 500 shares and no one has donated. Please, I beg you, donate now. I can't imagine losing my newborn niece. Your donation makes a difference. Please donate now.

abdalsalam-2000

Please share this post and do whatever you can.

@punkitt-is-here @pcktknife @tamamita @papasmoke @innerchildabortionclinic @infectiouspiss

swollennugs

beatcroc

god im going to be fucking hallucinating this video for months ok there’s just so much to this to break down

the initial fact they’re talking through a hand puppet with the oobi eyes

the horrible, horrible desynch between their words and the movements of the hand

lack of any clear place the hand is looking

“dwells in the depths”. just the whole sentence itself and the weird inflection on it.

the fact that the dude clearly already discovered this thing and was so moved by it they went to record it

“wuoah”, and the split second of open-palmed hand that no longer resembles a puppet

the weird fade in on the music and the fact it sounds a little distorted at first

the very specific but undefinable emotion conveyed by the music

the inconsistent zoom

saint-soap

fantastic analysis but you forgot the banana in the chair which is integral to my enjoyment of this video

Yippie

democrats had the students at these protests expelled, arrested, deported, etc. they had the teachers fired they had peoples degrees revoked and now they wonder where all the protesters are like the fucking Eric Andre meme

genderoutlaws

An abandoned theater in Rochester, New York. Formerly a pornographic theater, then just a facade after the Walgreens next door gutted it to use as a warehouse. The Walgreens with it's shampoo and baby formula and half of the store locked in cages; the contradictions stare into you. You go because it is the nearest pharmacy, close in walking distance for you and your disabled loved ones.

The Walgreens shuts down and it too, is now just a vacant facade, next to a vacant facade. You stare into the large windows meant to advertise it's contents, now only showcasing absence. A wide open space with torn up floors. You think about how perfect the location could be for low income housing, for squatting, for anything other than standing as a constant reminder of the city's failures to her people. The parking lot is empty, save for the occasional cop car, to ensure no one uses the lot or the building for anything at all. The cop ensures the space will stay as useless as himself.

They add letters to the theater's marquee; a reminder and encouragement of surveillance. "If you see something, say something. In progress call 911, over and done call 311." They board up the doors, ensuring that the space will stay in it's intended form: empty, useless, an eyesore that reminds everyone of their place. The freshly boarded up door has been emblazoned with a message from those who lack.

"A man would shelter, if he could / in the nook behind this new plywood / the building, abandoned / the man is too / how I wish you'd imagine / that it were you."

numberonevirginiansimp

Pictured above is Rain, an artwork by Thurlow Small Architecture, hung from the M Street NE underpass in the NoMa neighborhood of Washington, DC. It’s one of three artworks in a series commissioned by the neighborhood to beautify the area.

And by beautify, I mean drive out the unsightly homeless.

Local law states that the homeless cannot encamp on, in, or under public art, so the NoMa Parks Foundation identified three underpasses uniquely situated out of the elements and targeted them for their installations. Now of course, it doesn’t completely deter souls seeking shelter, but it does empower law enforcement to harass them and drive them into more hidden, less comfortable crevices of the city. Out of sight and out of mind.

There is a cold, cruel beauty in the piece. It’s almost self-conscious in a way. Art weaponized against the viewer, designed to resemble the very element they are trying to escape. Rain.

suppermariobroth

Extremely rare Donkey Kong 64 render of Diddy Kong from behind. This was only ever used once, in the German official guide for the game, and never appeared in any other material, including guides from other regions.

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Small Findings | Source