Look at me, doing the big girl thing and writing my blog instead of just reblogging twilight things. whoops. Tonight (on my new computer thank God) we’re going on a magical journey, to Port Angeles.Bella calls it a beautiful tourist trap. I’ve never been so, we’ll take her word for it.
The ride there apparently goes super fast because Jessica drives super fast (not as fast as Edward, we’ll discover.) On the ride they discuss....boys. Jessica is super into Mike and Bella is glad she played match maker. Angela is not into Eric and doesn’t wanna discuss her type. (I know she isn’t, but Imma pretend she’s cagey cause she’s into a girl...makes things more interesting.)
Bella confesses that she’s never had a boyfriend or anything even close to one, and the other girls are shocked considering how popular she is at Fork’s High. We’re then told that Tyler has told EVERYONE he’s taking Bella to prom. Wow, just wow. Can we just take moment to WISH we had that level of confidence and yet...be glad we don not have Tyler’s stupidity.
Besides this though, I think they fact Bella has never had any real relationship is just...so important to this book, and the series as a whole. There is nothing like first love, when we have that moment where we first picture having a life with someone. We fall hard and fast, and it normally burns out just as quickly. As much as many of Bella’s obsessive moments annoy me, I have to remember the raging emotions of being a teenager and first love/lust.
I have to remind myself of this because in like a chapter or two she’s “I’M IN LOVE” and it will make me cringe.
The girls find their dresses super quick (thank god, because if I had to read too much of that....) and while Angela is picking out shoes, Bella ask if it’s normal for the Cullens to vanish all the time, and she brings up how they all go backpacking and junk. WHY COULDN”T I HAVE WENT TO THIS SCHOOL. Shit, I worried about missing too many days because i was sick and the Cullens skip out always. I think Carlise is paying them off, just saying.
Since dress shopping went fast, the other girls wanna walk by the bay, but Bella prefers to go to the bookstore, alone because she spends too much time in there. GIRL SAME. I could live in a large enough bookstore. But here’s the thing, Bella doesn’t know where the bookstore is, doesn’t ask anyone, just...wonders around this town alone that she HS NO CLUE HOW TO GET AROUND. What the actual fuck? I’d barely wonder my hometown alone after dark, much less a place I didn’t know. And this is a time when cellphones weren’t as prevalent....
plus, Bella, you are danger prone as shit. Maybe invest in pepper spray? A taser? Pocket Knife?
So she finds this book store , but decides it’s not what she needs because it’s full of crystals and New Agey things, complete with an aging hippie working the counter. I’m sorry, if I was convinced there was a vampire in my midst, a store with new age themes with a witchy older woman working there is EXACTLY where i would go. Who else is even going to ENTERTAIN the idea that this could be real? Ugh, this is one bit of writing that doesn’t make sense. Maybe Stephanie was afraid it would be too interesting?
So Bella wonders around and gets creeped out by a few guys catcalling her. Of course, in typical Bella form, she makes a wrong turn and ends up in the “bad side” of town. She runs, realizes these guys are following-and eventually herding her...she does mention Pepper spray, that she left home, gdi Bella. Basically, she’s in every girl’s worst nightmare, until , what should appear to save her, but a shiny silver volvo?
Bella gets in the car with Deux ex Edward who is...not a happy camper. In fact he orders her to talk about something unimportant while he calms down. She talks about how she wants to hit Tyler so he will stop trying to take her out. Edward is not any calmer. He drives her to the restaurant where she is supposed to meet Jessica and Angela, and then ask if he can join them. And Angela reveals that she’s already ate.
Can i just say, WHAT THE FUCK? You all act like you were worried about your friend and yet...you had dinner. Your friend.....was alone....at night...in an unfamiliar town...and you ate dinner. Yea, fuck you both. -End rant-
Edwards offers to drive Bella home to ensure she eats first, and she is ALL for the idea, naturally. Bella is a bit jealous of a pretty Hostess, and Edward.....fucking slips the Hostess a tip to move them to a booth. Ok, ok, look, this is a restaurant high schools could afford to eat at. Not some fucking exclusive ass place. Hell, that didn’t even need reservations , and Bella mentions that the booths are empty. I worked in a place like this, all ya gotta do is ask to move tables and they’ll do it. Bella thinks the hostess is “dazzled” by Edward but, honey, no, she is dazzled by this fool giving her money for a free service.
They order food and drinks and Bella tells Edward she won’t go into shock because she’s “Always been very good at repressing unpleasant things.” Real talk? I’m kinda worried about her here. Like...she was nearly a victim of gang rape and she’s.... just like “Yea I can repress unpleasant things.” Like...like she’s talking about having a bad hair day. Hell, she was more upset about the snow the other day than this. I....hmmm, yea we’re never given any hints Bella has went through trauma, and different people handle situations differently but the way she just brushed it off ...it’s something.
She is very thirsty and cold, so he gives her his jacket and for a moment the shivering and stuff feels like a normal reaction but then.... she just begins to talk about ho she feels safe with him, makes comments about his eyes color and mood, etc.
Now, here’s the thing, I too am a repressor, but I’ve pretty much trained myself to be that way because I have a mood disorder and for a long time was completely ruled by a mercurial temperament. So when I’m in a situation where I’m very worked up, I tend to latch on to any and everything to distract my self. Sometimes, i wondered if Bella was doing this to, but...we’re in her head, and it seems like she really is more interested in solving the mystery that is Edward than about her own self preservation....
She agrees that she will tell him her theory on what he is...if he answers a few questions. He agrees, Bella comes up with a ridiculous “Hypothetical situation” of a man who can read minds with few exceptions , to which Edward corrects it to “one person”
She tells him she can be trusted with his secrets and he says he’s not sure if he even has a choice anymore. Then, he says he was wrong, that she wasn’t just a magnet for accidents , but for trouble. He then admits he was following her and that was why he was in Port Angeles. he says he’s never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and Bella ask if he thought her number was up with the van and he was just interfering with fate by keeping her alive. Edward tells her her number was up when they first met, and she realizes he really wanted to kill her when they met.
Now, we the reader know that Bella’s figured out he was a vampire. But, Edward doesn’t know this yet. So here he is , all but telling this girl (who by all accounts should still think he is somewhat human) and letting her know he thought about killing her. Wow Eddie, real smart plan.
But, i wanna go beyond that. See, with Bella, we’re given a girl who is fairly ordinary by all accounts, yet a vampire who can read all minds, can’t get a thing out of her’s. She’s also been marked for death since basically day one . He wanted to kill her, van accident, attempted gang rape, later James wants her dead..... like it’s some serious Final Destination vibes -and if you haven’t seen those films, at least watch the first one.In fact, she’s so danger prone that Edward is literally stalking her to keep her alive. So Bella seems extraordinary in this way (it’s even more interesting later when Midnight Sun gives the tidbit that her father’s brain is also a bit...different) But yet, we’re never given any pay off on this. (and don’t say her Breaking Dawn shield power is a payoff because it doesn’t explain why she is like this as a human-I have a similar complaint about Alice’s power later)
But no, we get the love story, that Bella is more of a passive participant in. Twilight- and the rest of the series- is supposed to be Bella’s story and yet, much of it isn’t really about her. Things more happen *to* her , something that other’s have commented on. A really interesting take on her passivity is explained really well in a vid I’ll ling below.
Edward goes on to say that, because he couldn’t read Bella’s mind, he was keeping tabs on her through Jessica’s and when she left them, he panicked and basically scanned the minds of everyone around the area to keep up with her. Then he read the minds of the skeevy creeps and...that’s that. This time he flat out says that it was hard to leave the men alive, and he stayed with her because he knew if she was with Angela and Jessica it would be very hard for him to not go back and finish the men off. Again, Edward, Baby, not something most people just...say to people they barely know but...ok.
And that’s pretty much the end of that, they leave the restaurant, they get in the car, Bella continues to ...smell his jacket and in the car Edward is like “K, time of theories”
Shit is getting real now folks, Eddie’s being more honest, him and Bella are getting closer. Soon we’ll get to meet the other family members and I’ll get to complain about the villians being introduced oh so late in the game, when we have all the markings of a great story here with Bella’s unique mind blocking gift, how she seems to be all but marked for death.... the Native Legends of the vampires and wolves.... it all seems like that was leading somewhere but then it gets dragged out in some....not always great ways.
but more on that later.
For now, Stay safe ( AND STAY IN IF YOUR IN A QUARANTINE AREA)
For those interested, this vid does a pretty interesting defense of how passive Bella often is, it’s a good watch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eOr58c9rRg
