My Journey to Motherhood

Pregnant during this whole Covid-19 Crisis!!!

[twinmoms]

Every time I write about parenting or my kids, a small part of me hesitates, knowing it might come across as too idealistic or self-righteous. But I don’t write to influence—I write to record my experiences. If it resonates with you, great. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Take what speaks to you, or simply read it as a glimpse into someone else’s journey.

———

I have never been so angry as I am now. I’m enraged. We came back to this new playground today because they had so much fun the last time they were here, but today’s experience was completely different.

There’s this (Caucasian) kid who was being mean to the boys. Less than five minutes after going in, Lucas came back to me, tears falling down his face, unable to tell me what happened. This has never happened before. When he calmed down, he said a kid (about their age) had “fought” him—pulled his shirt because they wouldn’t let him climb into “their house,” a small area they claimed as theirs in the playground because they got there first.

I decided to go inside and watch them. Then it happened again—they wouldn’t let the boys go in “their house,” which was basically a small area with a trampoline. Lucas was going to come to me again, but I stood up and told him to go back. I went with them because Louis was scared and asked me to. I asked the bully and his buddy (some other kid) if the boys could play there. The buddy said yes; the bully said no. When I asked him why, he just looked at me, unable to say anything. I told them that everyone can play there, that it was for sharing. The buddy agreed, while the bully just kept quiet. And just like that, everyone dissipated, and the bully never claimed the house as theirs again.

Then I wondered if it was the right thing to intervene or if I should have just sat back and let them handle that. I wondered if I should’ve continued reading my book as I planned.

But as a parent, I decided that it was right to intervene with Lucas’ bully because it was physical. He touched my kid. And maybe today won’t be the day Lucas learns to stand up for himself, but it will be a day I can talk to them about the real world—how there will be people who don’t share, who pick on you or hit you for no other reason than because that’s how life is treating them. And sometimes, there won’t be consequences for them. It’s a hard lesson, but an important one.

Today is also the day they learn that Momom will always be their safe place, and as long as they need me, I am ready to fight for them.

Part of the reason I got so triggered is because I recently watched Adolescence, and I truly believe all parents should watch it, reflect on it, and start making changes. I haven’t had the time to fully process it until this seemingly “small” incident. It made me realize how early these behaviors start, how unchecked cruelty can shape a child’s understanding of power, and how vital it is for parents to be present—not just physically, but emotionally aware and engaged, especially since kids are growing up with social media. Maybe it's not enough to assume kids will “figure it out” on their own; they learn from what they see, what we allow, from what we ignore, and from what we actively correct. I just want my kids to grow up knowing they are loved, that their feelings matter, and that they are never alone in facing life’s challenges.

I can hear it already, some people will probably say, they’re just kids being kids, yes but there’s a line between playing and imposing power over someone else. There’s a difference between being rowdy and being intentionally cruel. Kids are just kids—but that’s exactly why they need guidance. It doesn’t seem right to let them think it’s okay to exclude, to push, to control others just because they can.

Today wasn’t just about a playground scuffle. It was about setting the foundation for how they see themselves in the world and how they respond to both kindness and cruelty.

Every time I write about parenting or my kids, a small part of me hesitates, knowing it might come across as too idealistic or self-righteous. But I don’t write to influence—I write to record my experiences. If it resonates with you, great. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Take what speaks to you, or simply read it as a glimpse into someone else’s journey. Something happened last week that prompted me to write about it on the spot.

————

I have never been so angry as I am now. I’m enraged. We came back to this new playground today because they had so much fun the last time they were here, but today’s experience was completely different.

There’s this (Caucasian) kid who was being mean to the boys. Less than five minutes after going in, Lucas came back to me, tears falling down his face, unable to tell me what happened. This has never happened before. When he calmed down, he said a kid (about their age) had “fought” him—pulled his shirt because they wouldn’t let him climb into “their house,” a small area they claimed as theirs in the playground because they got there first.

I decided to go inside and watch them just in case something happens again. Then it happened again—they wouldn’t let the boys go in “their house,” which was basically a small area with a trampoline. Lucas was going to come to me again, but I stood up and told him to go back. I went with them because Louis was scared and asked me to. I asked the bully and his buddy (some other kid) if the boys could play there. The buddy said yes; the bully said no. When I asked him why, he just looked at me, unable to say anything. I told them that everyone can play there, that it was a space for sharing. The buddy agreed, while the bully just kept quiet. I thanked the buddy for being nice. And just like that, everyone dissipated as if nothing happened, and there was never a mention of ‘the house’ again.

Then I wondered if it was the right thing to intervene or if I should have just sat back. I wondered if I should’ve continued reading my book as I planned.

But as a parent, I decided that I made the right decision to intervene with Lucas’ bully because it was physical. He touched my kid. And maybe today won’t be the day the boys learn to stand up for themselves, but it will be a day I can talk to them about the real world—how there will be people who don’t share, who pick on you or hit you for no other reason than because that’s how life is treating them. And sometimes, there won’t be consequences. It’s a hard lesson, but an important one. Today is the day they learn that Momom will always be their safe place, and as long as they need me, I am ready to fight for them.

Part of the reason I got so triggered is because I recently watched Adolescence, and I truly believe all parents with young children should watch it, reflect on it, and start making changes. I haven’t had the time to fully process it until this seemingly “small” incident. It made me realize how early these behaviors start, how unchecked cruelty can shape a child’s understanding of power, and how vital it is for parents to be present—not just physically, but emotionally aware and engaged, especially since kids now are growing up with social media — something we had but was totally harmless back then. Maybe it's not enough to assume kids will “figure it out” on their own; they learn from what they see, what we allow, from what we ignore, and from what we actively correct.

I can hear it already, some people will probably say, they’re just kids being kids, yes but there’s a line between playing and imposing power over someone else. There’s a difference between being rowdy and being intentionally cruel. Kids are just kids—but that’s exactly why they need guidance. It doesn’t seem okay to let them think it’s okay to exclude, to push, to control others just because they can. Because look at the movie that was actually inspired by real life events? It was inspired by teen boys stabbing teen girls to death. Is that not scary?

Today wasn’t just about a playground scuffle. It was about setting the foundation for how they see themselves in the world and how they respond to both kindness and cruelty.

Every time I write about parenting or my kids, a small part of me hesitates, knowing it might come across as too idealistic or self-righteous. But I don’t write to influence—I write to record my experiences. If it resonates with you, great. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Take what speaks to you, or simply read it as a glimpse into someone else’s journey. Something happened last week that prompted me to write about it on the spot, thus the beginning line.

————

I have never been so angry as I am now. I’m enraged. We came back to this new playground today because they had so much fun the last time they were here, but today’s experience was completely different.

There’s this (Caucasian) kid who was being mean to the boys. Less than five minutes after going in, Lucas came back to me, tears falling down his face, unable to tell me what happened. This has never happened before. When he calmed down, he said a kid (about their age) had “fought” him—pulled his shirt because they wouldn’t let him climb into “their house,” a small area they claimed as theirs in the playground because they got there first.

I decided to go inside and watch them just in case something happens again. Then it happened again—they wouldn’t let the boys go in “their house,” which was basically a small area with a trampoline. Lucas was going to come to me again, but I stood up and told him to go back. I went with them because Louis was scared and asked me to. I asked the bully and his buddy (some other kid) if the boys could play there. The buddy said yes; the bully said no. When I asked him why, he just looked at me, unable to say anything. I told them that everyone can play there, that it was a space for sharing. The buddy agreed, while the bully just kept quiet. I thanked the buddy for being nice. And just like that, everyone dissipated as if nothing happened, and there was never a mention of ‘the house’ again.

Then I wondered if it was the right thing to intervene or if I should have just sat back. I wondered if I should’ve continued reading my book as I planned.

But as a parent, I decided that I made the right decision to intervene with Lucas’ bully because it was physical. He touched my kid. And maybe today won’t be the day the boys learn to stand up for themselves, but it will be a day I can talk to them about the real world—how there will be people who don’t share, who pick on you or hit you for no other reason than because that’s how life is treating them. And sometimes, there won’t be consequences. It’s a hard lesson, but an important one. Today is the day they learn that Momom will always be their safe place, and as long as they need me, I am ready to fight for them.

————

Part of the reason I got so triggered is because I recently watched Adolescence, and I truly believe all parents with young children should watch it, reflect on it. I haven’t had the time to fully process it until this seemingly “small” incident. Because it confirmed it and made me realize how early these behaviors start, how unchecked cruelty can shape a child’s understanding of power, and how vital it is for parents to be present—not just physically, but emotionally aware and engaged, especially since kids now are growing up with social media — something we had but was totally harmless back then. Maybe it's not enough to assume kids will “figure it out” on their own; they learn from what they see, what we allow, from what we ignore, and from what we actively correct.

I can hear it already, some people will probably say, they’re just kids being kids, yes but there’s a line between playing and imposing power over someone else. There’s a difference between being rowdy and being intentionally cruel. Kids are just kids—but that’s exactly why they need guidance. It doesn’t seem okay to let them think it’s okay to exclude, to push, to control others just because they can. Because look at the movie that was actually inspired by real life events? It was inspired by teen boys stabbing teen girls to death. Is that not scary?

Today wasn’t just about a playground scuffle. It was about setting the foundation for how they see themselves in the world and how they respond to both kindness and cruelty.

I know it might sound self-righteous, but the truth is, this parenting thing didn’t come with a manual, and just like every other parent out there, I’m not perfect, and I don’t have all the answers. I’m no parenting expert—in fact, my boys throw tantrums, roll on the floor in public (as you can see in my posts sometimes haha), and test my patience like normal kids do. A friend once mentioned (out of good intention?) that one of my boys (the clumsier one) might develop self-doubt because I’m quick to correct them when they accidentally hurt others. I understand that kids can get rough while playing, and I’ve no problem with accidents like that but I wouldn’t want them to brush it off like it’s no big deal. Intentional or not, someone still got hurt—and I want to teach them that accountability and mindfulness matter. I don’t want them growing up thinking that if it wasn’t on purpose, it doesn’t count. That kind of thinking can become a free pass to hurt others, and that’s not something I wanna risk, and it’s not something I’m okay with.

I don’t judge how others raise their kids because we’re all doing our best. Parenting is tough, and I hope others can extend the same understanding. This is simply what matters to me more and what I wish to focus on. That doesn’t mean my kids will be perfect. They might be far from it, depending on what metrics you use. They’ll make mistakes for sure, be selfish, and have moments of weakness like anyone else. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, but at the end of the day, I just want to raise good, strong, kind kids who know they are loved that they know all feelings are valid, but not all behaviors are.

Right now, my small victories are when they don’t forget to say “please,” “thank you,” and “I’m sorry”. When they hand something over properly. And their cute little awards from school—“Enthusiastic Friend” and “Kind Heart”—tell me that I may have worries sometimes, but moments like these remind me that maybe, just maybe, it’s working.

Right now, my small victories are when they remember to say “please,” “thank you,” and “I’m sorry” without being told. When they hand something over properly. And their cute little awards from school—“Enthusiastic Friend” and “Kind Heart”—tell me they’re on the right path. I may have worries sometimes, but moments like these remind me that maybe, just maybe, it’s working.

[twinmoms]

The Strength in Staying Still

It dawned on me today—Are you stuck if you do not want 'more' at this point? Because we’re not interested in the ‘what’s next’—at least for now?

We spend our whole lives answering that question. What’s next? Life feels like a relentless series of events, each milestone an answer to that question society has drilled into us like some cosmic to-do list. But what if what I have now is enough? What if I just want to focus on what matters to me right now? Every time we hit a milestone, we’re almost immediately pushed to ask again: What’s next? Can’t we just sit with it and enjoy it for a minute?

From the moment we’re born, we’re strapped onto this conveyor belt of life. A baby (expected to hit all milestones) will grow up, go to school (hopefully get good grades), graduate, get a job, find a partner, get married, have kids (and pressured to have more if there's only one), have grandkids, retire peacefully—and even then, you’re expected to “stay active,” pick up hobbies, and fill your days. Nothing wrong with that, but still. There’s always that pressure to keep moving, keep achieving, because the idea of being comfortable and content seems… suspicious. Does that mean you’ve stopped growing? Stopped dreaming? And so what if you have? What’s so wrong with not being obsessed with the future for once?

When I was younger, I questioned this all the time. Whenever I come across old journal entries, I cringe—I was writing about the same things over and over, just this ungrateful kid, angry at the world. Honestly, I think that’s part of why I was so unhappy. I measured my life against society’s timeline—certain ages meant certain milestones. That sh*t certainly doesn’t stop with childhood development; it follows you into adulthood. And if you were off track? Well, good luck explaining that to anyone nosy enough to ask!

After years of feeling stuck, hating everything, and drifting without purpose, I came across two books that had a huge impact on me. That’s when I learned the most important way I want to live: live in the present. Now, I focus on what’s happening around me, not what everyone else is doing. I’m happy for other people’s successes, but I’ve learned to focus on my own path. We’re not all running the same race.

I’ve never been the kind of person who knows where they’ll be in five or ten years. Some people are wired for strategic five-year plans with color-coded spreadsheets—I admire them but I’m not one of them and that is okay. That doesn’t make me lazy or lost. It’s the balance between striving and savoring that keeps the world grounded. I’m not aiming to make a global impact. My goal is to make an impact on the people around me—and maybe a stray dog or two. Speaking of dogs, I used to feel so helpless about not being able to do much for them. I’m not a big organization with resources and funding. But I’ve learned that small acts matter just as much. If I can feed one stray dog or cat or give them a drink of water, that’s enough. If I’ve done what I can in that moment, that’s enough. Not every victory needs to be headline-worthy. I just do more whenever I can.

Maybe this shift in thinking comes from losing friends and classmates too young, from the devastating loss of my dad. It made it easier to walk the talk—unlike when I was younger, trying to live by that mantra but not fully able to practice it.. That truth hit hard. It taught me to heighten my awareness, love in the moment and find gratitude in even the smallest things. And a heart full of gratitude leaves no room for complaints (or at least keeps them to a minimum). Now, I protect my mental health at all costs because I never want to go back to that dark place where I constantly questioned my worth. When I catch myself complaining, I allow it—but I always end by finding the positive side. I’m now quick to spot toxicity, and I don’t let it hang around for long.

I may sound righteous but I’ll admit it’s not as easy as I make it sound, especially with so much negativity these days. Choosing to live like this requires a conscious decision. I definitely still have my bad days, but I'll never take it out on anyone. So if you ask me what’s next? I’ll proudly say: Right now. Because I’m living at my own pace, focusing on people who matter to me, working hard, raising my kids and showing up for them, grateful I have that option.

P.S.

I hope you never let anyone tell you how to live your life.

[twinmoms]

[twinmoms]

The Day!!!

(Writing from memory)

I barely slept the night before.  Not like I could if I wanted to anyway since more nurses were coming in for more tests and preparation for my operation at 7am.  I remember I have never been more excited.  I must be the only patient who’s more excited than scared to undergo the CS operation. Little did I know I was literally putting one foot in my grave. Dr. Manalo arrived on time (one thing she always is, I noticed). 

Everything happened so quickly. When I got wheeled into the Operating Room, there were already a bunch of people. I was getting nervous at this point. First,  a nurse shaved off where the incision site would be. Then the anesthesiologist was going to inject into my spine, they made me curl into a ball, and being so pregnant it was just so difficult. I struggled then I felt the needle go in (ouch), I felt the pain as she pushed it in. I remember shivering (not sure if it was the metal bed or if it was the anesthesia).  The anesthesiologist pinched me and asked if I felt it, after awhile she pinched me again and announced to the team that I was good to go. I heard her tell Dr. Manalo that she may go ahead and begin.  From that point on, I couldn’t feel anything. Just like what I read, I could only feel the tugging.  I kept looking around during the operation because I was falling asleep. I saw the two isolettes with labels A & B, each baby would have a team of nurses upon pull out since they were premature and needed to be taken to NICU immediately after birth. No dramatic skin to skin moments.  I saw a glimpse, but only heard their cries.

It happened fairly quickly, after a few minutes it was over and I got wheeled out to the recovery room where they monitored my blood pressure, heart rate, etc. I drifted to sleep during this time.

[twinmoms]

A Day of Pain

June 24, 2020

(Writing from my memory)

I was given Tocolysis treatment again since I got in the night before.  And since last night nurses have been coming and going, they performed bedside 2D echo, blood extractions, chest X-ray, put on the catheter. The Isoxsuprine was not working in stopping the contractions, so I was heavily sedated to relax my muscles, in the hopes that my uterus would stop contracting, but to no avail.  I was still having contractions and it was getting more and more intense and painful.  I cried this night because I was in so much pain, and because Dr. Manalo said the contractions were no longer manageable, she scheduled me for CS Operation the following day at 7am. I remember feeling relieved, I was happy because I will finally not suffer anymore.  My pregnancy got so difficult towards the end.  

[twinmoms]

Third & Final Admission

June 23, 2020

I was being closely monitored by my doctor so we went back for my check up again this day.  The contractions were stronger and more frequent, I could also feel it.  This time our check up was at St. Luke’s and I got sent to their HRPU (High Risk Pregnancy Unit) for monitoring (again).  My room for monitoring was a lot better than at Asian Hospital because it was a big room, had its own bathroom (though it’s useless because I was on bed rest), had its own TV (useless as well as I was not in the mood due to the pain). But at least it wasn’t that depressing and lonely, because just outside the sliding door was the nurse’s station, so I could see people, hear them talk. Actually at Asian I can also hear the nurses laugh but I was confined to the bed with plastic divider.

Unfortunately Johnnie was not allowed to get inside as well. 

[twinmoms]

Going Home

June 20, 2020

I got discharged.  I was happy to go home, albeit with bruised arms and hands. I was diagnosed with Gestational Thrombocytopenia. Thrombocytopenia is defined as the drop in platelet count from the normal range of 150,000 –400,000 / μL to a count lower than 150,000 / μL.  My lowest was 90,000, and one can’t undergo surgery with that platelet count.

I was still on Duvadilan, and another blood pressure medication to control my contractions.  Just one more month,  I thought.  I just have to endure one more month as they were due on July 18th. 

[twinmoms]

Second Admission

June  16, 2020

Went for our check up again, and got sent to Genesis Center again. I hated being sent there, but at the same time I was scared to refuse it because I was having contractions. This was the time I truly felt even more depressed, but it was better in the sense that Johnnie and I were prepared to be separated this time, it wasn’t like somebody had snatched us away from each other like the first time.  My time at the monitoring room was depressing, it’s redundant but I don’t know what other word to use. I felt lonely, helpless, in pain (due to the contractions).  I was strapped to the bed, hooked to machines, and was put on full bed rest. Nurses went in only to administer medications, change IV line, give me food, clean me up after I pee. Different doctors went in to ask about my history, something which I would later have to repeat a thousand times.   

My platelet went down and kept dropping, at least according to them.  I was also given Tocolysis treatment. Several specialists were called in to co-manage. This was the time my arms got bruised due to the countless blood extractions,  My arms were literally full of bruises.  Johnnie was the only reason I was able to smile. I was also missing Toby so much, because I know he didn’t understand why we didn’t go home all of a sudden. 

[twinmoms]

First Admission (In My Life)

May 25, 2020

This day was our check up again with Dr. Manalo at Asian Hospital, she said I was having contractions and sent me to Genesis Birthing Center to be monitored. I was hooked to machines for tocolysis.  This was the day I first got admitted in my life, I’ve never had IV line and this was the first time I experienced it. 

It was depressing because this was the first time Johnnie and I got separated without warning. I was immediately brought to the isolation ward, and got swabbed for Covid, had chest X-ray.  When I got transferred to the Genesis Center, no companion was allowed due to the Covid thing, so I was all alone in the room. Johnnie also had to stay in the Covid building all alone, because she was also considered PUI.  We cried while on the phone that night because we weren’t prepared to be separated and it was just so depressing to be alone, it was difficult for both of us. 

I got discharged the following day. I remember thinking I will not complain anymore at home. Because it was during this time when I was secretly complaining that it’s so boring at home, with the lockdown and all, days were long and I felt my mental health suffering. But that one night alone at the hospital changed my perspective. I went home feeling more grateful. 

[twinmoms]

Went to see Dr. Manalo today, everything is going well.  They are very active babies, I can feel them kicking.  Selji washed the babies’ clothes, they’re so tiny, I still can’t imagine there will be tiny human beings soon.

We tried doing the Dalgona coffee manually today, I guess it was a fail, haha. But it tasted good.

[twinmoms]

Congenital Anomaly Scan

We finally found a laboratory that performs Congenital Anomaly Scan (CAS), we went all the way to Cavite for it. It’s also a relief because we found out they’re both healthy.  We spent the night hanging out at the balcony to celebrate.

[twinmoms]

April 16, 2020

So I’ve been reading about other pregnant women’s fears during this pandemic and it’s very real. Every mom-to-be is more anxious and scared instead of being filled with excitement during this time.  I can already feel the anxiety about so many things as early as now, and there are so many things I want to ask my OB but feel embarrassed to. I know I shouldn’t, but we haven’t really established a good or deep patient-doctor relationship as I’m practically still a stranger to her so I feel embarrassed disturbing her with every little thing when she probably has more important things to worry about during this time? It doesn’t help that it’s my first pregnancy so a lot of the changes in my body are new to me. Though she is always responsive and nice, I still hold back sometimes.

Anyway, I’m going to be 24 weeks pregnant this Saturday.  I have a check up next Monday that I hope won’t get cancelled because I would like to know how the Placenta Previa issue is going, hoping it has improved by now. I feel very lucky that Baba takes really good care of me in ways I can’t imagine possible.  I can literally stay in bed all day but I refuse to because it doesn’t feel nice. But basically I just sit and stay in bed all day, not too much walking except for bathroom privileges.  I don’t want to complain, but my back literally hurts so much these days and I can imagine it’s only going to get worse. It’s my levoscoliosis plus the lordosis brought about by the pregnancy that’s causing this pain. No position is comfortable for me anymore whether sitting or lying down - though it’s just a little better when I’m lying down. I’m using the maternity belly support almost 24/7, though I had previously read one should only wear it 2-3 hours at a time but now I just don’t care anymore, I need to have it on to help ease the pain. The past 3 days I also noticed my finger joints are starting to hurt, then last night, the back pain and finger joint pain plus my lower leg were hurting so bad that I cried before going to bed.  I feel bad because I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining... But it got really bad last night. Now I just have to take it one day at a time, grateful for each day that goes by peacefully for me and the babies. 

[twinmoms]

March 30, 2020 Check Up

I finally saw my doctor last Thursday, the good news is my cervix is closed and no more funneling.  Thank God!! But the bad news is I have Placenta Previa, a condition in which the placenta covers the cervix and this might cause bleeding which is dangerous. After reading about it online, 90% of this resolves itself as the pregnancy progresses, but my doctor doesn’t want me walking so I’m still on bed rest and  I’m guessing I’ll pretty much will stay this way all through out my pregnancy.  So now I’ll just be very careful. 

[twinmoms]

March 29, 2020

The last two days my stomach has been very hard.  It’s not painful or anything but it just feels very crowded and stretched in there? If I’m to describe it it’s like my lungs have been pushed down by something heavy making it difficult for me to take deep breaths. I finally told my doctor about it this morning and she asked to see me tomorrow and told me to stay in bed the whole day today. I’m a little scared, but I will pray and have faith. I hope the babies are okay.

[twinmoms]

Being Pregnant Amidst Covid-19

Being pregnant is a scary thing itself, there’s a lot of anxiety and worry that comes along with it. Even more so with this Corona virus going around.  A few months ago, we had plans in place on how to go about this. Yet everything flipped 2 weeks ago when the country started being plagued with the virus. It really shows that we can plan all we want but ultimately, God is in charge.  So we adjusted and fast forward to today, we are under ‘enhanced community quarantine’.

Yesterday was the 20th week into my pregnancy, and now it feels like I have all the time in the world for an update (something I have been putting off for too long). I need to do it so I have something to look back to before I forget the details of my pregnancy.

The first trimester:

I honestly didn’t feel any of the symptoms like nausea and morning sickness at the beginning, which made me feel like I was probably one of the lucky ones who didn’t experience those symptoms. I had regular migraines though which got really bad on some days.  But to my surprise, it was towards the end of the first trimester when I started throwing up certain food (anything oily was disgusting to me), felt the morning sickness. I didn’t have any particular food craving, except for the crunchy green mangoes from Mactan. But I only requested for those on Sundays (less traffic -because poor Johnnie was the one always driving).  My check ups during this time were always good, the babies were within normal sizes each time and there were no complications. Caffeine was restricted because it might interfere with the blood flow to the babies, and I was put on low sugar diet and thank God I’m not really into sweets so this wasn’t a torture. I do like fruit juices but I tried to keep everything natural as much as possible.  I still had those bottled juices once in a while.

The second trimester:

I’m still on my second trimester as I write, but as I entered my second trimester, that was when I got really stressed physically and emotionally due to having to move in to a new place and we had to do a lot of shopping (thus, walking), and it doesn’t help that Manila is such a large city that even malls were large-scale compared to Cebu. On top of it all, I also got scared of the Manila traffic so I wasn’t as hydrated as I should have been. Because hello, bathroom trips triple during this time. So my first check up with my new OB in Manila, Dr. Eileen Manalo, was when I was 18 weeks pregnant (just after that very stressful week of buying all the stuff).  To our surprise, she ordered a lot of tests (mostly for infectious diseases to be safe, I guess) and she ordered the 75g OGTT (Oral Glucose Tolerance Test) since diabetes runs in the family and multiple pregnancies are more prone to gestational diabetes. She also did a physical examination, and checked the cervical length, as well. This was the part where the bad news came in, she saw that my cervix was short  (which is too soon) so she said she doesn’t want me moving, she put me on bed rest, progesterone therapy and a medicine that prevents uterine contractions. She said she didn’t want to but if she has to, she would have to perform a Cervical Cerclage or cervical stitch  in which the cervix is stitched close in order to prevent a miscarriage or premature birth.  Did too much walking cause this? Yes, probably.  We’re really praying we wouldn’t have to undergo the procedure, but of course if the doctor says it’s the best decision for us I will do it, for the babies.  It was during this time when  I actually felt them move inside my tummy, it’s true what they say, it feels like fluttering. It’s amazing, and Johnnie is crazy about them.  Due to the virus, my doctor is only seeing a few patients once or twice a week, and she has asked to see me this week. I think mine is considered a high risk pregnancy, because I’m having twins plus the short cervix issue.

From that first visit, I felt that Dr. Manalo is very thorough. She’s famous for a good reason, and I’m glad that we ended up going to her because we were initially scared of the waiting time based on what we read online before coming here.  We feel very lucky to be under Dr. Manalo’s care, because from the reviews online, we read that she is one of the highly sought after Infertility Specialists in the country, and the waiting time to see her takes so many hours due to the number of patients.  But she is the one my OB in Cebu, Dr. Marivic Tan referred, so of course we trust her judgment.  The first time we went to her clinic, we didn’t wait for too long because the other 9 patients who logged their names weren’t there waiting. So I got called 2nd or 3rd, and after examining me, she told us to tell the secretary next time not to make me wait for too long (that’s a good thing but not a good sign). Her nurse told us right after to request for wheelchair. I am to see her later this week for a follow up check up, will need all the prayers.  

[twinmoms]

December 28, 2019

Today I went to work. Supposedly I had 4 clients but only 3 showed up and thank God because I was so tired and my back hurt so much after the last one. Yesterday was my 8th week, and I notice that I get so tired easily and I want to stay home all day unlike before where staying home was never an option.  I am so tired as I write, even. Last night, something that hasn’t happened before happened, I had an acute migraine attack and had nausea so severe that I threw up my dinner.  I went to bed with a head I felt was going to explode anytime, and I was so scared because I might have an aneurysm.  It was truly scary.

[twinmoms]

December 26

Today, I feel okay. Not too sick. I ate tomatoes and egg, egg and toast, and an apple.