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Not today Justin
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@twistingthroughtexaslikeatornado
Sunset on the Sierra
Big Bend National Park, Texas
The escarpment of the Sierra de Carmen rises majestically over the Chihuahuan Desert landscape, shot at sunset from the Rio Grande Village Nature Trail in Big Bend National Park.
Another sight I need to see
Yes, I can cook
Marriage explained by an 80+ yo grandma
Tonight, I was volunteering at a charity event, cooking and serving food in a stand for a no-profit organization.
In a slow moment, an old couple of customers came to the stand and asked us if we can slightly overcook their food to make it easier to digest. They were very chatty and while the husband seemed more interested in chatting up the two young ladies that was working with me the old lady kept talking to me. I overheard her husband say they have been married for over 50 years, so I asked the lady: “Madam, what’s the secret to make a marriage work for 50 years?”
She grabbed my forearm and said “You see, marriage is like picking a flower on a steep cliff every day. Every day it takes courage to do it. Every day you must be willing to do it!”
Texas, It’s like a whole other country… Photo by Iszac W. @gastationburritos at the Blue Lagoon in Huntsville, Texas. Yes, Huntsville!! Travel Tip: Pack up the kiddos and head to Huntsville see the Sam Houston National Forest, the largest statue of an American Hero, and tons of Texana history at the SH museum complex & 15-acre family farm. Huntsville is roughly: 1 hr from College Station, Houston 1.5 hrs from Nacogdoches, 2 hrs from Waco, Beaumont, Tyler 2.5 hrs from Dallas, Round Rock
This goes straight to my “places to visit” list
Relationship goals.
Stupid Policies
For all you Trump supporters that think he's doing a job with his policies concerning immigration I only have one thing to say: I'd love you to experience it on your skin for one day! After that I doubt your opinion would be the same.
The international driving permit is a universally accepted piece of paper that validates your driving license all over the world. In several countries, and I'm not talking 3rd world countries here, you don't even need one to drive on their roads. And just to be clear americans needs one as well when they travel (whether car rent services asks for one when you rent it's a whole different story, but you may end up in hot water if you commit infractions and don't have one).
Just about over a month ago you dear pop-star president decided to sign the request for "further checks to help increase the safety of americans on their home streets". You probably didn't even notice that, or applauded that. Or even worse drank the Kool-aid and thought it was really for your safety.
So let me explain to you exactly what these checks are so you can form an opinion about how much more safety they add on your streets:
- a 15 euro tax fee (not a dime ends up in the American pockets, in my case they goes to Italy and the EU)
- a 20 years background check for PARKING tickets (I didn’t even have a license 20 years ago!)
- must be authenticated by regional law enforcements (it's State office, and it is painfully slow)
That's it. I'm not making it up, that's it. There is no way your driving permit can get denied.
So, exactly, how safer do you feel now?
I'm 5 weeks in, and I've yet to get a timetable for my permit. Mind you, I have one issued february 2nd that's valid all over the world, but your country, even tho I have a valid visa and plenty of driving miles on American soil without committing infractions.
I usually steer away from politic talks. I will respect any political view no matter how distant it may be from mine. But I have no respect if you blindly support stupidity and bullshit, and this case clearly falls under that umbrella.
No full-body pictures = bad news
When you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see your self-esteem drastically decrease. Ok, I got it.
The lower your self-esteem is the more concerned you are about receiving negative comments over your appearance. Ok, I get it.
So when you get on a dating site and your self-esteem is really low you try to pretend you are something you're not. Which is a bad idea for your self-esteem. Terrible idea. Because if you pretend to be something you are not (or someone else entirely) it will backfire on you and you're gonna get hurt.
Why am I saying this?
Because I fell like an idiot for one of the most stupid tricks in the online dating world: let's call the "no body shot" picture trick.
A trick that got me more than once actually.
I usually see a profile, look at the pictures, read the description, read the basic information and then, if the whole picture match well with my needs/standards I close the app and take a few minutes to think clearly if it can be a match or not. I may re-read the profile a few times to make sure there's no possible red flag I'm overlooking. Then if I decide to send a message it means I'm really interested in meeting you. No, wait, I'm really interested in meeting the girl in your profile.
In all your pictures all I can see is your face and sometimes a bit of cleavage. Those pictures tells me (usually) you have gorgeous eyes, you look like a doll and have a nice rack. Contrary to most men I'm not a breast fan so eyes and face for me are way more important.
Your pictures clearly tells me you have some meat on your bones, and that's perfectly fine. Like in food I have no clear preference for thin or juicy: if it's good it's good! But I definitely don't like too skinny, aka flavorless, and too fat, aka unhealthy.
When we meet I have a clear picture in mind created by the way you crafted your profile.
If I expect to find a doll-faced sexy woman with a nice hour-glass figure and instead I find a doll-faced girl that's built like an offensive lineman both of us will be extremely disappointed by the outcome of our date. You are also putting your date in a very uncomfortable position. I'm very aware of hurting other people's feelings, even more when it comes to appearance. There's a billion reasons why you may be fat and overweight and in most cases the journey to slim down and shed that weight is not easy at all. You don't know the journey those people went through in life. Most often than not they have been bullied, mocked and harassed for their appearance. They endured a ton of psychological discomfort. And they are on a date, a date they eagerly awaited the same way you anticipated it. The last thing they want in that moment is to hear negative comments about their appearance. Sadly, they also put you in the position to say nothing but negative comments about their appearance.
I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, it's the way I am. But my eyes don't lie. And we all know that very early into a date the infamous "So do you like what you see?" question pops-up.
So what's a poor, simple guy supposed to do? Or say?
No matter how hard I may try to hide my feeling in those moments there's a few things that should totally guve away how I feel:
1. the very impersonal, kinda awkward first hug
2. no compliment about your appearance within the first 5 minutes
3. the sad puppy look in my eyes (I've been told a million times that my eyes are an open book)
4. the fact I sit in my chair like I was in a business meeting
5. no flirting
6. no talk about sex, sexual innuendos, etc.
7. no enquiries about your personal life
When the date is about over asking me for a second one is not a good idea. You are putting me in the uncomfortable situation again.
So when I politely decline over being busy saying I'm doing so because you're fat and overweight is not a good idea. Unless you want your feelings to get hurt, in that case it's a great idea.
That's the point where I have to explain you mislead with your pictures. That's the point where I have to explain "a few more pounds" is very subjective, but when you list it as your body type and you are twice as big as the average girl your height your concept of a few more pounds is different from the rest of humanity. (to my credit I don't normally say it in these terms LOL )
That's the point where I have to explain if you don't like yourself it will be hard for somebody else to like you for who you are. That's the point I must explain if you don't like what you see in the mirror do something to change it! You will never have the model-type body that is in your head but that's not a good reason to not try. Change your habits, change your diet a bit, work out, do fricking something! If you start, lose a bit of weight, and get to buy clothes a size lower than usual that will be a huge confidence booster. It may be the catalyst to bigger changes. It may be what you need to like yourself. And others will take notice!
1st message fail - Episode 1
Browsing dating sites trying to identify someone that appeals to you mentally as well as phisically is a longand stressful process. Of course if I was one of those men that goeson the prowl on anything that move and breath it would be different. But I'm not. I don't randomly shoot in the dark, I carefully pick my shots. Yesterday, while browsing I spot this cute brunette. Her pictures shows she has values and the way she dress is very tasteful. She uses only 5 adjectives to describe herself but 4 of them are a must in a woman for me. Interesting. She's a little older than my ideal but that's not a problem. She's also a bit less attractive than I desire but the vibe her pics and description gives still make her appealing to me She has a long list of checks for what she's looking for in a man: - white - check - no shirtless bathroom selfies - check - not married,separated or stuck up with the ex - check - college degree and a good job - check and check - read books - check - non smoker - check - not a heavy drinker - check - taller than her- check - no fatties - check - be honest and blunt even if it may hurt - check - not a cheater - check (I never cheated on a partner) - not scared of kids (she has 2) - check I passed all the checks, good so let's contact her. NO, WAIT, there's more! The infamous "Don't come to me just with a Hi or Hey or I will block you!" and "Show me there's still some decent men left!" In hindsight the way her profile was structured should have been a red flag, but I didn't picked it right away. So I went for it. I wrote a well thought message complimenting her for her style and for some of the activities showed in the pictures and asked what she likes to do on her free time (she didn't list any activity on her profile). About 5 minutes later my app alerts me she visited my profile. I think it's a good sign and go on about my business and then head to bed. This morning I check my phone and I have a couple of message notifications from the dating app so I go check. One message is from a fake profile advertising adult material and one from another girl initiating conversation. Hhm, weird. I check the "sent" folder and the message I sent her is not there. Hhm, weird. I took my time to write a well thought message... did I really forget to press "send" after tying it? Hhm, weird. But possible. So I open her profile to make sure and send it again and BOOM - She has F'N BLOCKED me!! WOW! Didn't see it coming and can't understand why. I may not be your type, fine you aren't the first and won't be the last to not be attracted by me. But why not say it? why block someone right off the bat? Why am I even asking myself a question like this, it's woman thinking and a simple man will never be able to understand it! lol
