No full-body pictures = bad news
When you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see your self-esteem drastically decrease. Ok, I got it.
The lower your self-esteem is the more concerned you are about receiving negative comments over your appearance. Ok, I get it.
So when you get on a dating site and your self-esteem is really low you try to pretend you are something you're not. Which is a bad idea for your self-esteem. Terrible idea. Because if you pretend to be something you are not (or someone else entirely) it will backfire on you and you're gonna get hurt.
Because I fell like an idiot for one of the most stupid tricks in the online dating world: let's call the "no body shot" picture trick.
A trick that got me more than once actually.
I usually see a profile, look at the pictures, read the description, read the basic information and then, if the whole picture match well with my needs/standards I close the app and take a few minutes to think clearly if it can be a match or not. I may re-read the profile a few times to make sure there's no possible red flag I'm overlooking. Then if I decide to send a message it means I'm really interested in meeting you. No, wait, I'm really interested in meeting the girl in your profile.
In all your pictures all I can see is your face and sometimes a bit of cleavage. Those pictures tells me (usually) you have gorgeous eyes, you look like a doll and have a nice rack. Contrary to most men I'm not a breast fan so eyes and face for me are way more important.
Your pictures clearly tells me you have some meat on your bones, and that's perfectly fine. Like in food I have no clear preference for thin or juicy: if it's good it's good! But I definitely don't like too skinny, aka flavorless, and too fat, aka unhealthy.
When we meet I have a clear picture in mind created by the way you crafted your profile.
If I expect to find a doll-faced sexy woman with a nice hour-glass figure and instead I find a doll-faced girl that's built like an offensive lineman both of us will be extremely disappointed by the outcome of our date. You are also putting your date in a very uncomfortable position. I'm very aware of hurting other people's feelings, even more when it comes to appearance. There's a billion reasons why you may be fat and overweight and in most cases the journey to slim down and shed that weight is not easy at all. You don't know the journey those people went through in life. Most often than not they have been bullied, mocked and harassed for their appearance. They endured a ton of psychological discomfort. And they are on a date, a date they eagerly awaited the same way you anticipated it. The last thing they want in that moment is to hear negative comments about their appearance. Sadly, they also put you in the position to say nothing but negative comments about their appearance.
I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, it's the way I am. But my eyes don't lie. And we all know that very early into a date the infamous "So do you like what you see?" question pops-up.
So what's a poor, simple guy supposed to do? Or say?
No matter how hard I may try to hide my feeling in those moments there's a few things that should totally guve away how I feel:
1. the very impersonal, kinda awkward first hug
2. no compliment about your appearance within the first 5 minutes
3. the sad puppy look in my eyes (I've been told a million times that my eyes are an open book)
4. the fact I sit in my chair like I was in a business meeting
6. no talk about sex, sexual innuendos, etc.
7. no enquiries about your personal life
When the date is about over asking me for a second one is not a good idea. You are putting me in the uncomfortable situation again.
So when I politely decline over being busy saying I'm doing so because you're fat and overweight is not a good idea. Unless you want your feelings to get hurt, in that case it's a great idea.
That's the point where I have to explain you mislead with your pictures. That's the point where I have to explain "a few more pounds" is very subjective, but when you list it as your body type and you are twice as big as the average girl your height your concept of a few more pounds is different from the rest of humanity. (to my credit I don't normally say it in these terms LOL )
That's the point where I have to explain if you don't like yourself it will be hard for somebody else to like you for who you are. That's the point I must explain if you don't like what you see in the mirror do something to change it! You will never have the model-type body that is in your head but that's not a good reason to not try. Change your habits, change your diet a bit, work out, do fricking something! If you start, lose a bit of weight, and get to buy clothes a size lower than usual that will be a huge confidence booster. It may be the catalyst to bigger changes. It may be what you need to like yourself. And others will take notice!