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turnaroundandie-deactivated2023

pawn stars

some guy: my daughters going through college so i thought id bring in these old stone tablets i had laying around with some etchings in them n shit idk what they are i want $15 thousand for them

rick: idk anything about shit but i wouldnt give you dick for these rocks

expert: you're in luck these are actually the 10 commandments written by moses himself and signed delicately by jesus christ and they are worth the entirety of north america probably if not more

some guy: wow

rick: ill give you fifteen bucks

animedads-deactivated20210108

urgent message to Donkey Kong: just eat the bananas instead of putting them in a cave you enormous bitch idiot

mobile: cool i posted your post

me: so where is it

mobile: where's what

earthdad

girl sending me titty pic: what do ya think?(;

me: oh haha they’re nice

girl: what’s wrong? do you not like them?

me: they’re fine just they’re nothing like the boob mod in Minecraft :/

markv5

Едем, едем в соседнее село…на дискотеку……

nutsacktorturer

roxilalonde-deactivated20251105

hey hey hey you remember ratatouille? that movie was fuckin wild. in the first 20m a woman points a shotgun at the protagonist and tries to shoot him multiple times, brings down the roof of her own house, and subsequently gasses it. then the rat goes to paris and meets the bastard son of a dead chef and almost dies. again. several times. many times! almost gets locked in an oven. and then drowned. then some shit happens and he controls the bastard son by pulling on his hair. also the bastard chef gets drunk at least once. it’s explicit too like the scheming sous chef brings this 18 y/o or whatever into his office and gets him drunk because he wants the kid to admit that he’s a successful chef because of a tiny hair-pulling rat puppeteer who lives in his hat. and all throughout it the rat is grappling with the ethical conflict of whether stealing is right, and how to reconcile the wasted excesses of capitalism with his belief in private property and self-earned worth, especially when he comes from an impoverished background where stealing was necessary. and the underlying motif is how art isn’t an exclusive club, and how making art accessible to everyone is critical to the expansion and success of art itself, and the importance of honesty in relationships. also the human protagonist’s name is linguini