it's only when i lose myself

oh... we're fucked

[gahore-dm]

Sundays shining

Silver linings

Weightless hours

All my flowers

[gahore-dm]

Pain and misery

Always hit the spot

Knowing you can’t lose

What you haven’t got

[zoopop80]

[zoopop80]

[ultragahan]

sometimes life can feel sureal

i finally graduated community college with my associates and also ended my fast food job of three years... and am starting my new job next week and university in the fall and i am also married now

at the end of 22' i "took a break" from college but in reality had zero direction and never thought i was going back. i ended up finding a simple fast food job and stayed there for a long time because i felt i couldn't do anything else (even if the job itself wasn't that bad)

i only returned to school last fall and within two semesters found my footing and passion in environmental science

but perhaps the strangest thing to me is that some aspects of my life are completely different while other aspects remain the same

some of the most identifiable characteristics of the "old me" are becoming a thing of the past. in the middle of high school i began smoking weed and started using it almost everyday once the covid shutdown started. my depression quickly took over and i did lose a lot of motivation to do something with my life. while i still struggle with mental health, much of that feels like a thing of the past...

i don't smoke anymore and after a year-and-a-half of hard work, i finally seem to have more control over my mental health. i want to be clear, i am not against weed and have not turned into a conservative prude, but making the realization that it wasn't for me a huge step in my life and one of the most difficult decisions i have ever made

sometimes it seems my most "important" qualities from my high school and early college days were actually holding me back... why am i tearing up right now when i write this?

embracing my true interests, woman i love, and passion for the world has guided me places that lonesome stoner never did... even if it still hurts to admit

but maybe smoking alone in my room wasn't who i am and maybe the aspects that haven't changed is who i have been all along... such as returning to this depeche mode themed blog after years and years of life events... maybe things aren't all that different after all

[ultragahan]

No hidden catch... no strings attached...

[infinity-on-high-07]

Andy Fletcher - 1985

[mijamija1234]

“A ballerina in a haunted music box.”

[annabelle4]

Sometimes, when I look at pictures of Dave and Martin hugging, I think of a an artwork that I absolutely love--Luna Lu's Anatomy of a Hug:

[mijamija1234]

i feel it all

[ultragahan]

Live Spirits is probably the worst mixed live album of theirs and was not recorded on one of their tightest days... but I loved the Global Spirit Tour and this song sounds better live than on the album!

[mijamija1234]

energy he can't contain

[infinity-on-high-07]

Dave & Martin during It's No Good (Memento Mori: Mexico City)

[hummusenthusiast]

[infinity-on-high-07]

Dave & Martin during Wagging Tongue (Memento Mori: Mexico City)

[ultragahan]

What an amazing performance

[my-favourite-stranger]

[ultragahan]

Sister of Night is a contender for best Depeche Mode song in my opinion. For one, it is a personal favorite that means a lot to me. It was a song I turned to during some rough times and have many memories with. But even for Dave it is a very important song, it was the last song he recorded before he left for Los Angeles, overdosed and temporarily died on the table. After that, his journey towards sobriety would begin to take form and he began working with a vocal coach because was struggling to even record a single song.

Ridiculously great song, incredible performance and the first tour where Dave Gahan has ever sang this track live, and maybe since when they recorded it in the mid-1990s.

[blacknwhitemood]

[gahore-dm]

[ultragahan]

Ahhhhh, The Singles Tour!