unaware

As dusk passes, time turns it into dawn and in the moment when the light surfaces, I see your face and I feel home.

[philosophyquotes]

The world is a mess and I want to laugh because all I can think is how horrible and beautiful it is.

Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me (via philosophyquotes)

[un-aw-are]

Dating

I don’t date. I opened my heart up to the wrong person and was ready to give them everything. I was ready to give the my mind, my heart, my body, my soul, my entire being. I fell more in love than I ever imagined possible. I still am in love and would give anything to hear them tell me they love me too. I want to stop loving them, I really do but I will not date anyone else. My heart still belongs to them, I’m sorry. 

[un-aw-are]

Vices

And we all use things in order to cope, a vice, if you will. We use alcohol, drugs, other people, self-harm, we become addicted to these things. These things start with the intention of reaching an end point but right now, there is no end point in sight. So you continue to drink, smoke, snort, inject, fuck, cut, swallow, and depend on something in order to make the pain go away. In order to forget their name, in order to lessen the blow. We all do it, we’re all guilty of using a vice because in the end, we’d rather hurt our bodies or someone else instead of facing the reality of our lives and the deep pain we live with. 

[philosophyquotes]

Silence is also conversation.

Ramana Maharshi (via philosophyquotes)

[un-aw-are]

I miss you and I thought it would go away and the feeling would fade but it didn’t and it won’t. It is love, real love, like I have never felt before. I love you and I miss you.

[coral]

I’m here waiting for you, waiting you to come back. I still love you more than anything else.

I wish I could do more, believe me. (via flame)

[un-aw-are]

Sometimes, we need to learn when to let go and when to hold on. When it becomes toxic, obsessive, irrational, painful, intolerable for your closest people, and tiresome - we must let go. Knowing the signs of letting go can be hard and get mistaken with love but sometimes, we must do what is right, even if it causes more pain in short term. But if we do what it right, it will always bring more joy in the long run - remember that, always.

[un-aw-are]

One time, someone asked me what falling in love was like…this is what I told them.

 Falling in love hits you hard. When you realize what’s happening, it’s sometimes too late but when you fall in love, you fall for the purest things about a person: their heartbeat, their laugh – oh god that laugh that makes the stars shine brighter, the way your hand fits in theirs, the sound of their voice, the way they hold you, the way they look at you, their eyes – the eyes that sparkle and stare into the depths of your soul, the fact that they know how you like your coffee, their smell, the way they kiss you, their respect for you, the effort they make to spend time with you, the way their eyes flutter when they look at you, the way they say your name, the way they make sure you get home safe, they way they put you before themselves, the way they know you’re feeling just by looking at you, the way they wrap their arms around you, the fact that they do little things that drive you crazy and want to kill them…but you can’t

because you love them.

[un-aw-are]

And some days it hurts more than others - losing you. But it’s not only losing you as a person, but losing all possibilities of what we could have been. We could have been so good, so strong, so in love, so real. We lost all chances and now you want it back but it’s too late. I won’t let you in again, although it pains me to do. I want to let you back, I do, but I want to live my life more.

[un-aw-are]

For you, my love, a thousand times over.

[un-aw-are]

I’m thinking about how right now, we can’t even make eye contact without dropping a gaze and it shatters my heart. We avoid each other and try not to catch a glimpse of one another because it would hurt more if we actually saw each other – if we actually looked each other in the eyes and talked and cried and let it all out.

[un-aw-are]

Being the strong one is hard, everyone assumes you’re fine. You have to take care of everyone regardless of your feelings because once again, you’re always okay. You’re always strong, you have it all togeher. But in reality, you don’t. You have no idea what you’re doing and you feel more anyone than anyone because while you’re there for everyone, who’s there for you?