Uncanny Fig

Fig • she/they • writer • artist current interests are primarily vsmp and hermitcraft (specifically decked out 3 and whatever insanity mumbo is working on)

[uncannyfig]

Hey y'all! You can call me Fig (she/they, but if you do throw a he in there for spice I won't mind), and I'm slowly getting back into writing fanfic for the first time in nearly 2 decades. I also dabble in art, which may or may not make an appearance on this blog.

I'll add more links and important tags to this post as they become relevant. I blame Vampires SMP for reigniting my desire to write fanfic and participate in fandom again.

ao3 link

Slay the Vampire

In which Legundo and Owen are trapped in a Slay the Princess style time loop in limbo.

(in the works)

To Sever a Bond

In which sire/fledgling bonds exist. What happens to the vampires connected to the canonical deaths (plus one) in the series?

(completed)

[praguegirl]

they just don’t do any classic homophobic children moments like this anymore 

[coughloop]

There was really no winning that one

[uncannyfig]

@vampostingtime BEHOLD! TWO GIFTS! (fun fact: the word "gift" means "poison" in German - I'm sure there's something there someone can have fun with)

"'I had hoped it would be simpler given the centuries of mastery over vampiric gifts, but it turns out the afterlife — or wherever this is — requires a bit more finesse to change than most humans and fledglings do.'"

and a little bit later:

"The action is so infuriatingly Owen that Legundo considers trying to will a table into existence so he can throw it [redacted for now]"

[uncannyfig]

My son is going to need to go to the vet again, heaven help me, my lizard requires more upkeep than the dog

[uncannyfig]

Long and frankly rough work day, but at least I got to finish it with a delightful middle-aged butch and her middle aged partner

[beguilingcorpse]

obviously other things are also happening but it is a very funny tonal jump to go from annihilation’s “you are becoming a part of this hostile landscape. you are participating in a transformation to which you cannot consent. the biological processes you’ve devoted your life to studying are going to consume you. when you signed up for this suicide mission you must have known you were never going to leave this place the same way you entered it. how much of you is still human? how much of you ever was?” to authority’s “guy with mommy issues engages in passive aggressive corporate power play”

[cityofangeisislying]

Something I want to play around with in my current fic is the fact that Avid is an alchemist. And clearly, since he worked on a cure for rabies, he's a damn good one too.

Which means that Avid knows how to make bombs. And poison. Heck, he could have probably poisoned the vampires animals and killed them if he got close enough.

Like all I can imagine is Avid going Bagshot because he's pissed off for some reason and just taking out a bomb, throwing it at the castle and running away.

[cityofangeisislying]

OMFG AND LEGS.

LEGS IS A POISONER.

DO YOU THINK EITHER OF THEM EVER SAID SOMETHING AND THEY JUST STARE AT EACH OTHER BECAUSE THE KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE OTHER ONE IS TALKING ABOUT. DO YOU THINK LEGS FELT SLIGHTLY SICK. DO YOU THINK LEGS ALWAYS CHECKED HIS FOOD AFTER THAT.

OH. AND THEY BOTH PROBABLY KNOW THE TASTE OF POISON TOO.

GOD.

[assiraphales]

its always the tiny gay cowboy and his tiny gay roman boyfriend, never the bi cowboy and his bi cowboy/martial artist boyfriend. owen wilson didn’t play a fruity western boy TWICE to be disrespected like that 

[assiraphales]

no bc I’m being serious! we’ve been way too quiet about them for way too long!!!!!!

[assiraphales]

pls watch these (shanghai noon and shanghai knights) and give these romantic besties ur love! it’s literally a western romcom

[assiraphales]

valid valid valid valid

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[vampostingtime]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Want to Stay - Chapter 3

Despite everything, Apo and Legundo make it out of Oakhurst alive.

Aimless, a cured Legundo accompanies a lost Apo home. They do their best to keep living.

---

Legundo recovers and gets accustomed to the area.

(guess who managed to figure out posting on his phone through the power of a keyboard)

[hochiminhts-deactivated20190916]

[futchcassidyandthecumdancekid]

​still genuinely might be the best own ive ever seen in my fucking life

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[sanjipussyindulgence]

[calciumcryptid]

I feel like a lot of people get "All Art is Political" confused with "All Art is made with Political Intentions" which is not the same.

[appystruda]

Quick art of a fic called Incandescense of a Dying Light by @quaranmine

[jackdaw-sprite]

send me a 🎁 and I’ll write five sentences of what I’m working on and share one

You can send multiple presents in an ask but I will only pay attention to the first three unless you give me a sufficient bribe.

Making a different one because I maaaaaaaaaaay have been a menace and kicked some hornet's nests a couple of weeks ago and. certain individuals might drop one hundred of these into my inbox if I don't put limits. In revenge.

[uncannyfig]

A migraine is trying to kill me, but I will be doing these all week long when i'm not working~

[tony-the-tigers-juicy-armpit]