its naut pike i eva felt alive anywaves

k so i dont know W)(AT fuckin bullshit brought me back from the dead boat i shore know that i aint the one who summoned it who knows what happened chemical spill in the morgue radioactive waste in the graveyard some stupid fuckin virus who even knows all i know rn is that im apparently a zombie and everyones scared theyll become one if they touch me and you know what that eelin is reely shitty. someone thinkin theyll become a monster if they touch you. anywaves if ya wanna glub at me on trollian its capitulatedCarcass

[jade-grimbark-harley]

  Are you sure

do you need anything- like…

Some gauze or..

surgery?

[undeadempress]

shh no dont worry aboat it

im fin

….

[jade-grimbark-harley]

I mean I guess

with that broken horn and eye and all..perfect picture of health.

What the hell happened to you you’re no great Empress from the impressions I’m getting

[undeadempress]

hhhh.

...so has anymoby told you aboat the fin where the two tyrians fight to sea who'll be empress oar who'll STAY empress

whale i mean i kind of lost

thats all im gonna say but jfc beach was the goddamn flash

she stole my own weapon and stabbed me with it

i literally am heartless

[undeadempress]

everytime i hear/see 'zombie' on here i just pop up like

HELLO

[undeadempress]

  yeah no im uh

im fin

naut that hungry atm either

[jade-grimbark-harley]

Are you sure

do you need anything- like…

Some gauze or..

surgery?

[undeadempress]

shh no dont worry aboat it

im fin

....

[sangpires]

[asphodeum]

sangcoon:

im so masochistic its terrible i cried while drawing this omg

based off this prompt that was sent to me by zackdoesart

But what if

[jade-grimbark-harley]

undeadempress

Holy ship

Dude are you okay.

Like, do you need watermelon or food I swear I’ve got some fruits in the garden

[undeadempress]

yeah no im uh

im fin

naut that hungry atm either

[undeadempress]

guess who most likely has rabies

[undeadempress]

whale shit

[undeadempress]

guess who most likely has rabies

[psychotic-aradia-deactivated201]

Cave +1

[undeadempress]

  yep

i mean id bet that shit’d hurt except

whale

i kinda cant eel pain??

or anyfin for that matter

[psychotic-aradia-deactivated201]

"that must suck

in s0me way , it is great, because pain is n0thing anym0re

but then, y0u cant feel nice things t00, right?”

[undeadempress]

yep

thatd be the case 3;/

[spiderrnom-deactivated20170905]

So w8, You’re a half-rotten corpse. Did I understand you correctly?

[undeadempress]

yep

missin half an arm, stabbed through the abdomen w/a trident (long ass story), missin an eye, half my thinkpans been eaten a way, and now clogged gills. also a broken horn.

3;(

[spiderrnom-deactivated20170905]

Eww, sounds nasty. Sorry gill ::::/ How did that shit happen?

[undeadempress]

...you know how tyrians fight to sea who'll be empress

yeah

[spiderrnom-deactivated20170905]

Eww ::::6 How did it get there in the first pl8ce?

[undeadempress]

…im dead

im p shore thatd explain it

ie i was kind of left out to rot for an amount a time before i was ‘brought back’.

[spiderrnom-deactivated20170905]

So w8, You’re a half-rotten corpse. Did I understand you correctly?

[undeadempress]

yep

missin half an arm, stabbed through the abdomen w/a trident (long ass story), missin an eye, half my thinkpans been eaten a way, and now clogged gills. also a broken horn.

3;(

[psychotic-aradia-deactivated201]

Cave +1

[undeadempress]

  …!

yeah i think i might remember her

hard to remember people and places and stuff when nearly half of yoar brain matter is gone 3;(

[psychotic-aradia-deactivated201]

"l0ng st0ry sh0rt: y0u killed her

but thats alright.

half 0f y0ur brain matter is g0ne? 0uch.”

[undeadempress]

yep

i mean id bet that shit'd hurt except

whale

i kinda cant eel pain??

or anyfin for that matter

[spiderrnom-deactivated20170905]

Eww ::::6 How did it get there in the first pl8ce?

[undeadempress]

...im dead

im p shore thatd explain it

ie i was kind of left out to rot for an amount a time before i was 'brought back'.

[undeadempress]

please dont actshoally punch me

my head whale probubbly fly off

and that gets reely messy aight

3;/

[undeadempress]

+1

....yo

who are you kid

[partofthe2hiip]

Thiing2 II wiill do when II go two a ver2iion of Earth 2omeday…

Claiim two have been abducted by aliien2 and be iin the proce22 of beiing held agaiin2t my wiill and then 2hout at a random per2on two briing me back.

When 2omeone a2k2 iif II’m an aliien, go ‘no YOU’RE the aliien’ and then 2tare at them.

Grab on two 2omethiing affiixed two the ground and liift my2elf wiith p2iioniic2 whiile 2creamiing.

Tell 2omeone II’m not from another planet, II ju2t have a 2kiin condiitiion.

Overreact two everythiing and poiint at thiing2 dramatiically.

Claiim graviity ii2 much more iinten2e on my planet and then u2e p2iioniic2 two jump really hiigh, 2tiick my2elf iin a tree and 2tart 2houtiing for help.

A2k what’2 iin every food II’m offered and then after heariing the iingrediient2 lii2t, go ‘II have no iidea what any of that ii2.’

Throw one of tho2e motoriized four wheel deviice2 that are large enough two fiit liike, four adult2 iin, and then quote a 2uperhero comiic.

[undeadempress]

Your name is HER IMPERIOUS CONDECENSION, and you are, quite literally, in stitches.

[undeadempress]

+5

yo the names condy

and im reely 

reely

dead

how are u

[spiderrnom-deactivated20170905]

Sup reely reely dead Condy

I’m Fortis and I apparantly am really

really

tiny right now ::::/

What a8out you

[undeadempress]

nice to meet ya then fortis

i suppose im fin

that is

if trying to find some way to rip out this disgustin mold in my gills

eugh

[spiderrnom-deactivated20170905]

disgusting mold? Eww ::::6 i guess I’m Small enough, so i could try to get that SHIT outta there

[undeadempress]

um

i wouldnt suggest doin that 

i have no idea what said mold is and its probubbly contagious or has some weird fuckin disease stuck in it