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@underlieunend
fuck you, you needy little freak. fuck you for thinking you’re deserving of even common decency. you’re only so useful as what you can give others, and if you aren’t giving them anything then you’re just wasting their time. this life you’re stealing is wasted on you.
sleeping pills and the lake has always been the way to go
fuck you, you needy little freak. fuck you for thinking you’re deserving of even common decency. you’re only so useful as what you can give others, and if you aren’t giving them anything then you’re just wasting their time. this life you’re stealing is wasted on you.
sure. dont trust what you think about yourself after 10 pm. what if its all you ever think about yourself? what if its inescapable? what if you have to wake up every day and recognize that you’re a leech whose only redeeming quality is being able to listen to other people talk and stroke their ego?
its not unique to be unneeded, but it hurts all the same
ill wake up and ill struggle and ill love everyone in my life so dearly and try to give them everything i wish they would give me
or ill die and fade away and it wont matter
ill wake up and ill struggle and ill love everyone in my life so dearly and try to give them everything i wish they would give me
i dont want to be selfless. i want to be selfish and self-invested and cared for and cared about i want to be the one who gets to be loved i want it so bad and ive spent my whole life wanting it so bad without having to be the one to reach out and grab it. whats wrong with me that im not worth that
hello old suicide blog. im back and once again nothing has changed
i hate to be like this but i dont know how or what else to be
im always writing the same story. its the story where the protagonist asks a side character ‘when is it your turn. when does it get to be about you. when do you get to be the focus, the center, the point of attention and love, without having to ask, or plead, or scrape, or prostate yourself before everyone else. when is it about you’ because they are never, ever, ever, ever asked that themself
because it doesnt matter. because im not important enough to worry about, or care about, or even ask the most minute and simplest of questions. by the people who are meant to care about me the most. at best, im a sounding board for larger personalities. people who have more drive and personality and focus and creativity and life in them than i will ever have
hello old suicide blog. im back and once again nothing has changed
i hate to be like this but i dont know how or what else to be
im always writing the same story. its the story where the protagonist asks a side character ‘when is it your turn. when does it get to be about you. when do you get to be the focus, the center, the point of attention and love, without having to ask, or plead, or scrape, or prostate yourself before everyone else. when is it about you’ because they are never, ever, ever, ever asked that themself
hello old suicide blog. im back and once again nothing has changed
i hate to be like this but i dont know how or what else to be
hello old suicide blog. im back and once again nothing has changed
my dad got home at six in the morning and promptly went upstairs and locked himself in his room, my mom didnt come home with him and isnt answering her phone and im one second away from a panic attack
im fucking sick of myself and my inability to not destroy good things for myself
why cant i just be enough
i didnt want to inherit anything from my dad i wanted to be kinder and more understanding and more patient i wanted to be someone that people could feel like understood them and that they didnt feel like was constantly angry at them but
a few days ago my mom told me that after a while he starts to do this self sabotaging thing where he starts cutting off people who are close to him. its like once hes in their good graces theyre suddenly worthless to him. i dont want to be like that
why cant i just be enough
i want to die lol
self harm warno
some days i can cope with having stubble and other days i have to fucking slice my entire face off with my razor to try desperately to eliminate the fucking 5 o clock shadow that i cant do fucking anything about and then just melt into a puddle when it both doesnt work and just shows how fucking terrible i look anyway