UNDER MY SKIN

This blog contains mature content.

[undermyslkin]

BASICS

FULL NAME: KANG IN-SOO [  강 인수  ] » MEANING: Kang [ 강* [姜] Chinese origin meaning "peaceful, happy, healthy." ]; In-soo [인수, Hangul; from Sino-Korean 仁 (in) meaning "humanity, virtue, benevolence, charity, man, kernel" combined with 秀 (soo) meaning "excellent, outstanding."]

VERSES: Excess Baggage, Heartbeat, Fame.

NICKNAME(S): Kai, K, “The Nation’s Vocalist.” Only very close friends and family call him by his given name, In-soo.

AGE: 26-years old.

DATE OF BIRTH: 14th February 1993, Sunday morning.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Ilsan, South Korea.

OCCUPATION: Musician, composer. He also owns a dance studio in Seoul.

PERSONALITY

STRENGTHS: Independent, Creative, Energetic, Loyal, Open-minded

WEAKNESSES: Workaholic, Aloof, Quiet, Shy, Awkward [at times]

APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Lee Tae-min

HEIGHT: 5′9 ft. [175 cm.]

WEIGHT: 126 lbs. [57 kg.]

BUILD: Lean, athletic.

GAIT: TBA.

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown.

EYE COLOR: Dark Brown.

BIRTHMARK: A small brown spot on his right buttcheek.

OVERVIEW: » SCARS: TBA. » TATTOOS: TBA.

BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Incheon, South Korea.

RESIDENCE: Seoul, South Korea.

NATIONALITY: South Korean.

ETHNICITY: Asian.

FINANCIAL STATUS: Upper class.

EDUCATION LEVEL: University graduate.

DEGREES: Arts.

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: Hangul is Insoo’s first language. He can converse comfortably in English but he’s not that fluent yet. He continues to study the language. He is very good in speaking Japanese, Mandarin, and Cantonese. He studies a bit of French.

RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS: TBA.

SIBLINGS: A younger sister named Yi-soo.

CHILDREN: None. 

PETS: A corgi, Dai, which Yisoo takes care of because he travels all the time.

SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIPS: » Insoo is very close to his sister and his manager [to be named.]

FAMILY HISTORY: Insoo always wanted to write music since he was little. He is very artistic. He didn’t want to be a musician but was encouraged to audition and train when agents saw him. He is naturally talented singing and dancing. At first he didn’t enjoy it but his parents seemed to be so proud of his small achievements that he decided to stick to working in the music industry. He respects his parents and provides for them but he feels there are many things he can’t share with them. They are working class family from a small area in Incheon. Insoo knew how hard his parents worked to take care of him and his sister so he made sure that he made them proud.

ROMANTIC HISTORY: Insoo has been very secretive of his relationships. He never really had any romantic relationships but in a few flings. There were a lot of rumors involving him and some female musicians, some idols, but none of them are true - He’s very good friends with an idol his age from a big agency but people insisted they were dating. 

PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS: Insoo has a very tight relationship with his manager.

THOUGHTS ON LOVE: It’s elusive.

HEALTH

PHOBIA(S): None.

HANDICAP(S): None.

MENTAL DISEASE(S): Depression.

PHYSICAL DISEASE(S): None.

PREDISPOSITION(S): Depression.

[undermyslkin]

[undermyslkin]

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[dvvality]

undermyslkin​:

JEJU

Insoo saw the wide grin even before the mask was pulled down. A few time alone with the man and he’d gotten used to his eyes disappearing when smiling so widely. He cleared his throat and nodded his head, turning to look at his luggage. “Okay,” he mumbled and reached for his bag with essentials sitting on the coffee table.

Park manager-nim who called the driver, instructed the other man to grab the luggage to take to the car, including Duri’s.

“Thanks for coming on time, Duri,” the manager acknowledged Duri. “You guys have to leave now to catch the flight. It’ll be a small private plane.” Park manager-nim continued to explain what’s happening next and did not stop talking until the door to the van that will take them to the airport closed.

Sitting in the back with Duri, Insoo felt awkward but spoke anyway. “He’s going to be so worried while he’s not with me… First time I’m taking a trip without him…” He explained, adjusting the dark shades he was wearing to cover his eyes even thought it was quite dark outside already.

Things didn’t entirely make sense to Duri. It was one thing to act as a companion behind closed doors for an evening. That had been an adjustment from what he was used to. Normally, most of his clients anticipated specific behaviors from Duri in their time together. Those things had never been a topic of discussion with Insoo. At most they’d innocently teased one another, nothing that amounted beyond friendship. There was a slight moment of innuendo during a drunken night but Duri had blamed Insoo’s behavior that evening on alcohol. Now with the soft pull of the van as it moved across the drive towards the main road, duri was unsure of what to expect. 

Companionship was one offer. He was sure life was lonely for Insoo. He’d seen as much in their time together. His Manager amounted to a paid best friend and father figure. Then there was him. He hadn’t been introduced to friends or family and he was sure there was a reason for that, perhaps all tied to the fact that he was playing the role of escort and companion but something told him it wouldn’t be different, even if he’d met Insoo more naturally. 

Shifting in his seat, he turned to study Insoo’s profile.Soft features partially hidden by the dark glasses. He was still horrible at small talk, even after weeks, almost months in their time together. “Do you have specific plans for us on this trip?”

It wasn’t exactly a simple question or one that he expected Insoo to answer easily. Duri immediately rattled off another, “Your manager really thought it was a good idea sending me with you?” It was more disbelief than displeasure. Laughing softly and mumbling, “Maybe I am finally doing something right.”

[undermyslkin]

Insoo felt Duri's eyes on him as the van began it's journey towards the airport where they will be taking a private plan to get to the island. He avoided eye contact even with his glasses on and just let his head swim in the thought of Park-nim worrying about him being alone in Jeju for a few days... Well, he wasn't really alone.

"Ahm, I - don't really have any plans. I just want to go to the beach. Eat some food..." He responded to the question, slightly turning his head to look at Duri.

"I guess - he trusts you," his voice was quiet wording his thoughts which, he knew was mostly true. Otherwise, Park-nim wouldn't hire Duri to travel with him. Why not send a staff or the driver?

He remained quiet for the remainder of the ride to the airport and once at their destination, they were quickly moved to through and boarded their plan to Jeju.

It was a private plan and there were plenty of room for him and Duri but once settled on his seat, he quietly spoke to the flight attendant to call Duri to sit next to him...

"I'm not too fond of small planes. Do you mind sitting next to me?" He asked, already buckled, hands gripping the armrests.

[undermyslkin]

Drink up, baby

"No repeating this - okay - Ah, I've never really had a blow job before... Is that - that's not normal, right? Oh, god, nothing about me is normal. Maybe I'll turn into an alcoholic or something, at least that can be considered somewhat something. I'm having bad ideas in my head."

[undermyslkin]

TRIAL RUN

[dvvality]

undermyslkin‌:

Insoo couldn’t really block himself from listening to the escort, wincing as the man talked about pleasure and - 

“Please,” he then said after taking a deep breath. “Don’t - just…” He sighed, maybe a little too loud but he displayed no sign of annoyance. Just - frustration. “This is not easy for me either… I don’t… I don’t have to explain myself to you but if you want this job… If you want to try… Just - Don’t…” He paused, unsure how to word his thoughts so he didn’t sound crazy or nonsensical. “This isn’t going to work for me if you you keep talking the way you do now… I just - Can you just sit down? Watch a movie with me. Don’t treat it like it’s job. Like I’m job - I know I am but…” 

His thoughts drifted to his old companion; was it odd to feel nostalgic? Miss the days he spent with the other escort who’s now is in a relationship? Juwoon never treated him like a client… Even though they were aware of their situation, Juwoon made it feel like they were ‘real.’

Shaking the thought of his former companion, he brought his attention back to the fresh face staring back at him. “I have no problem enjoying myself…” He frowned, “Would you be able to pretend you enjoy me?” Did he really ask that? Insoo struggled for a minute but he was able to wiggle away from Duri, re-positioning himself on the other side of the couch. He tried his best to calm himself, pulling his legs close to his body and without speaking, he handed the tall man the remote to the tv…

As much as he said he wouldn’t and formulated in his mind that it shouldn’t be his initial approach, Duri had treated this situation with Insoo as a transaction. Yes it worked for the clients he’d been with in the past but this one was different. He wasn’t sure if it was regret he was feeling. Not about his choice to take this job but how he’d fumbled building a connection with the other. He’d bit his tongue at the sound of the please but when the sigh followed, Duri lost every word that was in his mind he intended to force from his lips. There was less than a foot of space but it grew. He was out of his element and he didn’t like the feeling. 

Sitting there he found himself grasping for proverbial straws. Looking for a different angle he could take to gain control of the situation. There was only one and that made his heart beat a little faster than normal. What Insoo was asking for wasn’t ridiculous. He was right it was the only way it would work. In order for that to happen, Duri would need to be himself. Men didn’t pay him to be himself. They paid for a fantasy. Maybe there was a compromise in that. 

Shifting, Duri did as asked. Shifting in his seat from one spot to another.  Nodding his head, “I can do that.”

Duri didn’t add anything to the acknowledgment. He let the words settle in his mind. Sliding and continuing to shift. He was conscious of the space between them and even what Insoo did to self soothe. He found himself turning to face the other. his eyes on the hands wrapped around knees and pulling them towards Insoo’s chest. “I apologize for my impatience…” He paused, “My rudeness.” 

His fingers gripped at the seat beneath him. Unsure of how far to go and just what to say. He went with the words he didn’t contemplate the longest. He said what seemed right and natural. “I wouldn’t have to pretend to enjoy you.” It wasn’t charm or words to be laid on thick in an attempt at gaining an edge. “I want to get to know you and learn more about you and I know I didn’t exactly show that the right way.”

Accepting the remote, Duri didn’t immediately flip the channels or make a selection. When he did, he placed the remote on his other side and moved closer to Insoo. Gently nudging at the man’s legs, Duri leaned in and whispered, “Next time just tell me to shut up and get over myself.”

[undermyslkin]

[ discontinued ]

[dvvality]

undisclosed

“I’m glad you have your job and it’s steady,” Insoo offered a genuine comment. “A lot of people lost their job…” He frowned, thinking of some staff they had to temporarily lay off due to the pandemic. “It hasn’t been easy for a lot of people,” he was staring at the piece of popcorn he was about to put in his mouth but he didn’t, instead, he continued talking. “I wish I could do something for them…” To some degree, he did. He put up some funds with some artists in their label to help put staff that weren’t coming to the office for the time being. More should be done, he thought to himself but he wasn’t sure what else…

Insoo snapped out of his thoughts, placing the popcorn in his mouth and gave out a small smile that almost instantly faded away. “Yes, of course. Being on stage is just - it’s a high. Like a drug. Can’t get enough of it even when your body wants to quit,” another pause but he wasn’t in deep thought this time. “Anyway, it’s not all fun and happy. Especially when you have netizens always criticizing your look,” he then made a face, filling his cheeks with air, face turned towards his guest. “Last year I took a week off - much needed break and I just - did what I wanted. Ate what I wanted. I probably ate too much coz when I got back, the internet trended I got fat and I was forced to go on a diet,” with that, he took a handful of popcorn and quickly ate it before grabbing Duri’s left over food. It wasn’t unusual to share food in their culture but there was a pausing thought - what would Duri think of it? 

Too late to back down now when he had chopsticks in his hand and shoving noodles into his mouth. It took a moment before he could reply to the question about the movie.

“Wreck-It-Ralph? Or Notting Hill?” The cartoon was on but the latter was still on when the man arrived. “Wreck-It-Ralph is just very entertaining. Funny. Two oddballs finding each other and becoming friends?” By the this time, he almost finished the noodle dish and he was really full but still wanted to eat. 

Duri knew that he had many things to be thankful for. His job was only one. His health had also been spared and so had his family. Still there was a part of him lacking. Perhaps it was the lack of normalcy or even the attention and adoration he found from client relationships he’d maintained prior to the pandemic. He was forced to look at life, particularly his life differently. It was time to decide who and what he wanted to be when he grew up, if he ever committed to growing up. “It’s true. I’m thankful that work has been steady, even if slightly frustrating on some days. I would rather have the frustration and steady income than none at all.” His primary employer had also been cautious, taking extreme precautions with staff and those deemed long term guests. Duri had to obtain special permission to visit Insoo today. 

Curious about what the other had said about wanting to do more, Duri pressed the issue. “What would you like to do that you haven’t already.” It wasn’t an argument he was after but he definitely wanted Insoo to look at it from all angles. “You know it’s possible to put your thoughts and actions in box. Restrict what you can and cannot do. If you have the resources, both financial, well mostly financial. Think through what you’d like to accomplish for those who lost their job.” More interested in the conversation than the food at this point, Duri continued, “Both your heart and mind are in the right place. Just be strategic and don’t limit yourself. Use your influence for something that will help those who don’t have the resources you do.”

Duri had never considered that the thoughts or opinions of others would bother Insoo. He’d been proven wrong. Each time he was in the artist’s presences, he was learning more and more to separate Insoo from his stage persona. The real man, was vulnerable, almost fragile in a way. There were times when he offered Duri a glimpse and quickly returned to the visage of unbothered, indifferent social companion but he could see it. “You do know the netizens make their money with idle gossip and lies that aren’t true. Their entire existence is built on drama and not the good ones that premier new episodes once a week.” He was careful with his words but he wanted Insoo to understand how he saw the situation. “They’re trying to create this false image of who you are, so people like me, will feel better about our boring existence. When people like me just need to realize you’re human and deserve at least some part of the day when you don’t have to be perfect.” Motioning towards the food and everything around them, “Relax and forget the image you’re always expected to portray.”

Glancing towards the screen, Duri considered an answer to the man’s question. It wasn’t that he was against animation, he was however curious about the other option. “We can save Wreck It Ralph for next time. Let’s try Notting Hill today.” Narrowing his eyes in thought, “That’s a place right, Notting Hill. Don’t tell me about the movie. I want to be surprised. So don’t spoil me.” 

[undermyslkin]

[ discontinued: i will reply to the jeju one they have. ]

[undermyslkin]

[undermyslkin]

[undermyslkin]

👀

[ 👀 for a dirty thought and/or fantasy my muse has had about yours ]

"Hmmm.... Being hugged - cuddled by him. Like, hmmm... We're together and he actually cares about me. That's all."

[ this one's very simple. sigh. ]

[undermyslkin]

[dvvality]

"be honest..."

would you go all the way with your client if you get paid the right amount?

"Without the money, I'd still go all the way."

[undermyslkin]

[undermyslkin]

Spit or swallow? For you and for your partner.

"whyy are you asking me this??? is this really important??"

"i've - never had anyone swallow mine..... that's - i guess it's understandable, right? i've done it once. i was wasted... but i think i wanted to do it."

[dvvality]

“This could be arranged if you’re interested in having someone try yours.”

[undermyslkin]

[ he’s pretending he didn’t see the comment.. ]

[undermyslkin]

SEXCANON

[ he looooves being cuddled... more than actual sex. foreplay is his thing and the biggest turn-on is him being nuzzled and kissed on the neck... he likes being in his robe, sitting on a partner's lap... well, at least that's what he likes to do with his 'companions.' slow, lazy kisses is his thing, too, and being told how good he smelled... fingers through his hair... soft massages... all those things are his favorites... ]

[dvvality]

Someone is taking notes and making plans...maybe...definitely

[undermyslkin]

[undermyslkin]

Duri - ⇕, ☠

回

[ insoo wants to know if he can just copy his answers from others? no? okeee....... ]

⇕ - [ Duri ] And a name to ask if they would sleep with them.

[ no. kidding. oh, no, insoo's hand accidently swayed in front of duri's crotch, opps, somehow he ends up jerking duri off. i'm just gonna write him drunk one day and let him have fun. my poor son all frustrated and lonely and horny. ]

☠ - [ Duri ] And a name/ topic to hear what they hate the most about it/them.

[ insoo doesn't hate or dislike anything about duri... just that, why does he have to be so good looking?? also, why so confident?? also. maybe he can take his shirt off more often when he's around insoo. that's insoo's request he'll never make out loud. he feels like one of those old queer men who's wrinkly and ugly and he feels like men like duri wouldn't want to touch him. like, of course, that's a dumb thought but with all the 'hiring duri as companion' thing, it certainly feels that way to him. ]

回 - For a phobia they have.

[ no, good thing he doesn't really have phobias. but he has anxiety and, yeah, it can be bad sometimes. ]

[dvvality]

Insoo would probably be surprised by this fact, Duri has several moments of insecurity throughout the day. He hides it well and he sometimes just plays the role that people or clients want him to be.