I just read a comment under one of your previous posts that says, "Yearning in silence for years is something John Lennon would NOT do." I agree. But if he didn't yearn in silence and in some way he did let Paul know of his attraction/love to him, what do you think happened behind the scenes? And I know John was impulsive but what if John never made any moves fearing Paul didn't feel the same?
Great questions. I ponder on them a lot. This is why the classic "John finally made a move in India and Paul rejected him" line of thought has always baffled me. Because yes, the list of men John made moves on or openly kissed just seems to keep growing, lol. He was definitely not shy about it, and as I've said before, he was doing this since at least the early 60s, when he kissed Icke Braun on the mouth (while Paul was in the same room). Icke even said that John was considered a closet case by homosexuals at the time, and Stu's sister said something similar, though she claimed John had even been open about himself to others within the Beatles circle, but that most of them chose not to publicly acknowledge it. But anyway, as for the idea that John feared Paul didn't feel the same and therefore never tried anything, I can see why people might think that, but I don't think that was the case. John was very perceptive of Paul's emotions and perfectly knew when Paul was jealous of Yoko (he explicitly said that he understood this because Paul was the one who had all his "love and attention" before Yoko). And I'm pretty sure the bad blood between Stu and Paul was even more obvious. Multiple people from those early years talked about it. They could all sense it (even Cynthia), and I doubt John was the exception. So if John was attracted to Paul from the start (which seems to have been the case), but also noticed Paul's possessiveness of him, his intense jealousy over Stu, and may-or-may-not have suspected that some of that jealousy stemmed from Paul's suspicions about the nature of his relationship with Stu (as Pauline believes), then I don't think it's very likely at all that John would simply think, "Yeah, I like Paul, but I doubt he feels the same, so I will hide my feelings." Given that he kissed Icke, Fred Seaman, and tried to kiss a guy at a bar in the 70s (and god knows who else) despite there being absolutely no signs of reciprocation from any of them, I think he likely would have tested the waters with Paul anyway. And I do believe that John was aware, at least to some extent, in the early days that Paul felt something more than ordinary friendship for him, something that only became more visible once Stu came into the picture. I can easily imagine John enjoying the spectacle of two guys fighting over him, lol. So I don't really see him thinking, "Nah, this guy will never like me that way." John knew he held a unique, all-consuming space in Paulās life, so I doubt he would have assumed that making a move was a completely hopeless cause.
So, to answer your question about what would likely have happened behind the scenes if John made a move, (which I think did happen, and much earlier than 1967, given his impulsiveness, lack of boundaries, and likely perception that Paul felt something too), let's look at least at four possible scenarios:
Something like a drunken pass, a flirtatious comment, an attempt at a kiss, or a suggestive joke that wasn't entirely a joke. Paul rejects it or ignores it. John (and/or Paul) laughs it off and they never discuss it again.
John tested the waters more carefully and indirectly. Rather than making an overt move, he flirted ambiguously or made comments that could be interpreted in more than one way. Paul understood but chose not to engage. John either kept doing this for a while and got the same response, or never attempted it again.
Something did happen one or a few times. For example, a drunken, mutual kiss or some form of physical affection that crossed a line. Both later treated it as a joke or something not worth discussing (Or maybe Paul did feel the same but didn't want to act on it).
John made a move (or several). Paul reciprocated, at least to some extent. Both engaged in things regularly or on and off, enough that John felt somewhat satisfied for quite a few years. It didn't make things awkward between them, and their relationship continued growing increasingly close until 1967.
The main problem I have with the first two scenarios is that if John made a move, either direct or more ambiguous, and Paul either rejected it, ignored it, or laughed it off, I think John would have been extremely hurt, given how much we know he loved Paulāa love that, in my opinion, existed right up until his death. If John felt his feelings were completely neglected, rejected, or maybe appreciated but not reciprocated by the person he cared about most, I can't shake the feeling that their relationship would have changed drastically or even collapsed much earlier than 1968. And if Paul didn't feel the same, I think it would have made things awkward for him too, knowing that John liked him that way. And John, let's be honest, was not exactly hiding the way he felt about Paul, lol. Just look at the way he looked at him. That look never really changed throughout the 60s. Paul would have to be blind not to notice it. And Paul did the same. They both did, often and openly. If Paul knew John was attracted to him and was genuinely uncomfortable with it, then their behavior throughout most of the 60s becomes much harder to explain.
Because what we actually see is:
spending huge amounts of time alone together,
John spending more time at Paul's house than any of the other Beatles did, often staying overnight,
sharing hotel rooms during tours even when they didn't have to,
sharing rooms or bungalows on vacations together,
comfortably skinny-dipping,
maintaining their closeness even after girlfriends entered the picture,
and often prioritizing each other over those girlfriends (that's what Jane seems to have felt, and it's something a lot of insiders noticed too)
Their dynamic was so intense that people around them started coming up with nicknames mocking the relationship. Yoko, Francie, and even Maggie all noticed the intensity between them and, to varying degrees, expressed the belief that something was going on. Many of their male friends said some version of the same thing: they were closer than any two men they had ever seen. A journalist in 1965 said that she wanted to talk to Paul alone, but found it impossible to seperate him from John (and she spent DAYS with the Beatles, btw). If you know your best friend is in love with you or finds you attractive, do you usually become increasingly close to them? Or do you feel awkward, create distance, and set boundaries? Whatever happened between John and Paul, the evidence doesn't seem to point toward the latter. So if Paul noticed John's attraction, the possibilities that seem most consistent with their behavior are:
He didn't interpret it as threatening because it was expressed in such a joking or ambiguous way that he saw it as harmless.
He simply accepted it as part of who John was and didn't have a problem with it.
Or he felt the same, and showed varying degrees of reciprocation to the point John didn't really feel ignored (which, as you all know, is what I personally believe).
What seems much less likely, given what we know, is a scenario in which Johnāwhether once or repeatedlyāmade unwanted advances and Paul repeatedly rejected or ignored them. If John felt completely rejected by the person he cared about most, then I would expect some lasting effect on the relationship. Not necessarily a complete breakup, but something. Because I don't see John as the type of person who would quietly accept emotional rejection and carry on exactly as before, yearning and suffering in silence. But we don't really have evidence that their relationship greatly suffered or became awkward because John made an unwanted move that left Paul feeling uncomfortable. Remember: their relationship was so strong that Paul himself said that John becoming so close to Yoko left him feeling left out, which partly pushed him toward Linda. It was so strong that whenever John talked about how much he loved Yoko, Paul appeared disturbed and jealous. It was so strong that Jane said she was jealous of Paul's relationship with John. It was so strong that George Martin described them as "intensely" close, said Paul would do almost anything for John, and claimed that before Yoko and Linda, John and Paul were each other's most important person, even above Jane and Cynthia. It was so strong that Yoko felt John's anger toward Paul was disproportionate and this left her wondering what was it really about (and pretty much said she suspected John was in love with Paul). Their bond was so strong that they essentially spurred each other into marriage once new partners entered the picture. It was so strong that Paul said his relationship with John couldn't continue as it was without Yoko feeling insecure and that John had to put him away if he wanted to start a new relationship (!!!). And it was so strong that he wrote an often-overlooked verse in Too Many People about now having someone new (Linda) waiting for him. And that's before we even get into the other songs they wrote about each other.
I just don't think it's very likely there was a scenario where one of them was hopelessly yearning for the other in secret because he felt that the other didn't feel the same, and yet both remained so happy (mostly) and intensely connected for most of the 60s. We see them being mostly content together throughout that decade (though, like every intense relationship, they certainly had problems and it was rather volatile). Their relationship reached its peak around 1967 before beginning to collapse the following year. If John made a move, I think it happened quite early, given his impulsiveness. And if that happened, I don't think what he received in return was total rejection. I can imagine Paul being more hesitant and guarded in the beginning, even if he felt something similar. But between roughly 1961 and 1967, with some exceptions, their relationship only seemed to grow in intensity rather than becoming awkward or uncomfortable. The observable level of closeness between them was extraordinary, even by the standards of best friends. The relationship seems too comfortable, too voluntary, and too mutually invested for such a straightforward one-sided rejection story. So if one starts from the premise that John had romantic feelings and communicated them to Paul in some way, directly or indirectly, I think a scenario involving some level of reciprocity or encouragement from Paul fits the observed closeness better than a scenario of long-term, clearly understood rejection. The leap from there to exactly what that reciprocity looked like is where the evidence runs out and speculation begins. But the idea that Paul gave John something meaningful in returnāwhether emotional, affectionate, romantic, or some combination of those thingsāstrikes me as far more consistent with their continued closeness than a picture of John repeatedly hitting a wall for over two decades. And whatever happened between them behind the scenes in the 60s was whatever John had in mind when he later said, "How come nobody never asked, 'What's going on backstage? What is this Paul and John business? How can they be together for so long?'" š¶
