shadows call.

grand duchess anastasia nikolaevna of russia historical & musical based as penned by cossette established july 2016 please read rules before following!

[cherishedvisit]

temporary semi-hiatus status because i really need to adult & work on lit review during the next two weeks eep / will be on dis.cord #kuhset3280 + iMessage + checking personal/twitter/etc sporadically if anyone needs me x 

[unfailedheart]

DIMA:

he blinks at her, not bothering to cover any surprise she may find there. he wasn’t expecting a thanks, wasn’t looking for her gratitude. if she hadn’t stopped him on this bridge, he’d have spent his time wandering aimlessly around europe, looking for something that could fill the holes paris would’ve made in his chest– but with her beside him, as eager to see more of the world ( more than just cold, unforgiving russia ) as he was, it was nothing short of incredible. who needed stable and practical, anyways? that was too boring, there was no risk in any of it. you’d think after living years full of it, dmitry would be ready for something boring and safe, but there’s a thrill in taking risks that he’s become addicted to. it’s partly to blame for the whole grand duchess scheme that started all this; it had been the biggest plot he’d formulated, and had the biggest foreseeable consequences he’d ever faced.

but it had paid off and here he was, facing another risk.

because even though he’d been granted her grandmother’s permission ( it had only been the right and proper thing to do, to ask for her hand through what family she had left ), this still felt like he was treading on thin ice and would be until he got an answer. it wasn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility for anya to refuse him. to ask for more time, to agonize over it as he had, and to let him down as gently as she knew how. she made him feel special, like he was worth all the trouble he caused and headaches he spurned, like he was better than any prince that could be ushered in to take her hand and waltz her away from him forever. but just because what they had felt like it could last, felt like it could be forever, because he wouldn’t have agreed to staying ( more specifically, staying around her ) if it hadn’t, royal blood was royal blood and she could still be holding out for a real prince.

“of course,” he finally murmurs, after realizing he’d gone too long without talking, and cracks a smile, “i’d follow you across oceans, if europe wasn’t enough. don’t think i’ll ever see enough new parts of the world, i missed out on too much stuck in the streets of petersburg.”

how would their lives have turned out, if she hadn’t stopped him on that day on this very same bridge they were currently on? the same bridge that she kept going back to ;  over and over again. maybe, it was simply knowing that it was a named after her grandfather ( that he was looking out for her, in some way ).  her life would’ve been  so unmistakably different, if she hadn’t encountered dmitry ; if she hadn’t gone along with what she had initially thought was the charade of pretending to be A N A S T A S I A , if they had been caught on the train, or if her nona hadn’t given her a chance, if gleb hadn’t let her go --- if she hadn’t gone running after dmitry. it always came back down to two things ; dmitry & the bridge. surely, she would still be in russia - trying to find her way to paris. maybe, she would’ve even swam across the canal ( just as dmitry had once told her to ) as an act of desperation - but with no guide, & no money, how was she supposed to have found her family?

she wasn’t. she would be nowhere without dmitry. sure, she had survived on her own for so long, but it hadn’t been easy. life had been so much easier with him in it ; she couldn’t imagine being on her own again. sneaks a glance at him ; admiring not just him ( her prince, as her nona had called him ) but her life as it was. regardless of her title, or the royal blood flowing through her veins, he had found a way to make her remember who she was, had awaken the ghost that was her past life ; had a way of making her feel like royalty - that she could CONQUER the world at any given moment, could soften even the hardest of hearts, could do anything she set her mind to. she had once denied that dmitry was her prince, her young man - never again. 

❛ you would ? ❜

she has no doubt that he would do anything for her - he’d refused the reward, had claimed that her being ANASTASIA had been enough of a reward for him - followed her from country to country - and yet, wanted to hear it one more time. wanted ( NEEDED ) the reassurance that he was here to stay ; a constant in her life, despite all the changes. everything had moved so fast, making up for lost time, while at the same time, not fast enough.

❛ i love you. ❜

wants to really convey how much this has meant to her - how much he means to her. doesn’t ever want to let him go - their relationship shouldn’t be a GIVE OR TAKE , it should be compromise ; not one person sacrificing everything for the other. not like what he’s done for her.  if at any moment, he felt trapped, wanted out - whatever it was that he wanted, as long as it made him happy, she would do it.  a n y t h i n g - even if it meant letting him go. 

[unfailedheart]

russiaraised:

@unfailedheart

the last time his hands were sweating this much, he was pacing inside a theater grander than anywhere he’d even been in his life, hoping that anya could convince the dowager empress that she was indeed her granddaughter, nerves frayed despite knowing she was who was being searched for. of course, that was followed by her shoving his chest and yelling at him for his dishonesty and then disrespecting her grandmother immediately after. dmitry was hoping tonight would go a little smoother than that. 

so he distracts himself from the burning sensation that radiated from the small box in his pocket by admiring anya as they strolled leisurely down her grandfather’s bridge, arm in arm. she looked radiant as always, eyes alight with wonder and hair carefully pulled from her face, oblivious to his lovesick gaze. 

they had traveled away from paris for a time, traveled and saw more of the world and what it had to offer, but had come back after a year’s time as promised to her nona ( as well as vlad and lily ). each had been overjoyed to see them, and dmitry had to admit he’d missed vlad greatly in their time apart. but now they had a quiet moment to themselves in the cooling parisian evening, the lights along the bridge being lit as stone passed under their feet, and he was soaking it in. the warm welcome they had received hadn’t thrown him, but the formality it was held with did. because while the couple had been in their own little bubble as they traveled, they were back where they started and he was reminded of her roots all over again. the feeling of inadequacy had captured his stomach and knotted it, and the thought of losing her to someone of a higher standing ( she could only go up from here, he reasons ) is almost too much to bear. so after days agonizing over it, and rambling to an amused vlad, he’d gone ahead and purchased a ring ( with lily’s help ), and planned to pop the question when he felt the time was right that night. it just– hadn’t been the right time yet.

but he wasn’t supposed to force it,right?

“can you believe it’s been over a year since we left?” he muses, eyes still glued to her as the setting sun illuminated her face, bathing it in auroral light. 

 ❛ it seems like it was just yesterday that we had left. ❜ and it was ; it felt like just yesterday that she had not only been reunited with her family, but her identity as well. and while she had wanted to stay in paris && make up for lost time, she had felt the need to leave greater. to discover who she truly was. figuring out her name && reuniting with her family was the first piece of the puzzle. her existence had been tied to russia ; the place that raised both of them - had taught them everything they knew. 

they’d moved onto france ; starting with the city of love. a city that had not only brought her love in her life through dmitry, but through her family as well. explored the beautiful countryside of it, and had fallen in love with the country. it wasn’t  home just yet, not in the way that russia was, but with dmitry by her side - and her family, she had no doubt that france would unlock the key to her heart in no time. with rome, came whirlwind adventures & wishes, coins in the trevi fountain. and in germany, admiration of the arts - cultivating hobbies and interests that surely, she would’ve been interested in had her childhood still been intact. 

❛ while at the same time, it seems like we’ve experienced so much that it’s felt like a lifetime. ❜ 

they’ve both had a lifetime of memories ; gone through things no one should’ve in any lifetime - had experiences that shouldn’t. she’d do anything to have her family back - but the roads had led her to dmitry, and for that, she was grateful. she’s aware that he didn’t need to go with her ; that he could’ve stayed behind, made a new life for himself - something stable and practical. but instead, he had followed her, accompanying her on her quest to not only know herself a little better, but to see more of the world. she’s filled with so much love for this boy ; so much gratitude & appreciation. 

❛ thank you - for accompanying me. ❜ 

[cherishedvisit]

——- WHERE IN THE WORLD IS COSSETTE TODAY 

► princess ann / anya smith ( roman holiday )  

↳  main blog / active

► anastasia romanov / anya ( anastasia ) 

↳  secondary blog / in the process of revamping

► other 

↳  personal / disc.ord - kuhset3280, insta.gram,  study.gram, twi.tter, tum.blr 

↳  dying at work or working on my lit review 

[unfailedheart]

whines why is it so difficult 2 figure out a modern au for anya !!!

[historyindies-blog]

Hey there! The history rpc is tiny as it is, and finding each other can be a pain. Kindly like/reblog this post if you roleplay a historical based character (whether they be an OC, a personification, a historical figure, or a canon), and you will be added to this masterlist. 

for hrpc friendly characters. 

[unfailedheart]

okay / things to do in the upcoming days*:

figure out why the theme isn’t aligned on other browsers but is on anya / figure out what’s going on w. chrome anya user tbh and why it’s showing something different in response to - others

cap 

make icons

redo tags 

* lbr tonight post gym bc im v. excited  

[anastasiamasterlist]

do you have a Anastasia based character, oc, or verse ? If so, please reblog this post and tag it with your character(s) name and whether they are musical, historical, or movie based. If you have an OC, only have a verse, or play a character based on a Romanov relative (Olga, Tatiana, etc.), please specify that as well.  

please only reblog once per blog and tag appropriately to be added to the MASTERLIST.

[unfailedheart]

                            how do you become the person you forgot you were? 

                                                     INDEPENDENT ANASTASIA ROMANOV                                                            MOVIE, MUSICAL && HISTORICAL BASED                                                                       AS PENNED BY COSSETTE                                                            EST. JULY 2016 | REVAMPED AUGUST 2017

[unfailedheart]

icb amanda and i facetimed today and decided within 20 minutes that we were bringing back like half our ships

[unfailedheart]

&. dmitry; 

the sensible part of his brain is raging– clawing at his thoughts and trying to take the reins so it could steer him away from anastasia and her pleading eyes and radiance. he believed that leaving after she’d been reunited with her family and her true identity had been what was best for everyone, that he simply didn’t belong there in paris with anastasia or even vlad ( who had settled back into paris life with lily quite nicely it appeared ). even now, with eyes and murmurs drawn to him, he felt as though he were a fish not only out of water, but fifty miles away from any source of water.

he didn’t know if he could stay. while his brain raged, his heart begged. it begged to remain with anastasia, and to follow fate’s red thread to it’s intended stopping point beside her. over and over, they were pulled together in this life, and there had to be a reason for it. as unsuitable and messy as dmitry was, it didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest. all that seemed to matter to her was that he stayed with her in paris. and while this is what he had been secretly longing for all this time– that she’d return his feelings and that he could love someone he could have for the rest of his life, doubts refused to clear his head. what if she changed her mind? what if he was sudden shoved into the public eye right alongside her and was despised? what if he simply couldn’t conform to the refined expectations he’d be held to? he couldn’t let go a second time, even a heart as hardened as his couldn’t withstand that.

but between her nana’s knowing expression and anastasia’s words floating round and round in his head, dmitry can’t find it in himself to pull away a second time. his heart’s calling was strong than any logic he could conjure to reassure himself. she was too special, too uniquely incredible to give up. they had been through too much together to ever find anyone else in this world who could understand it all.

“i…i want to,” he breathed, brow creasing in conflict, ( he’s not used to admitting wanting anything after living solely on needs for so long ), “but i don’t belong here. i’m not exactly royal material here.”

“neither am i.” she reminds him, nudging him softly. just because she had the blood of royalty coursing through her veins didn’t mean she was any more DESERVING to be here than he was —- it wasn’t as if she had remembered the years of training she must’ve gone through, or had any education that she surely would have received if she hadn’t lost her family. just because she was able to pass nana’s test on proving that she was the REAL anastasia didn’t do anything to justify her presence. it didn’t stop her from still feeling like she was a fraud, a pretender —- she couldn’t help but wonder if that feeling would ever change.

and what if she had never heard of dmitry’s name? what if she had never been able to learn the words, the facts, necessary for proving herself? where would she be now? would she still be on the streets of russia, trying to make her way to paris? without dmitry, without vlad and his tickets, their lessons and knowledge, their connections, their gifts ( the MUSIC BOX, the dress ) she never would’ve stood a chance. nana would still be looking, day after day — or maybe, she would’ve given up by now, hurt by all the imposters; both of them, never knowing who or where the other was. she owed everything to dmitry ( and vlad ). in truth, she wasn’t sure if she could do it all without him —- everything she was, everything she was now was thanks to him && all the chances scared her.

“i can’t do this without you.” it isn’t just being well, the grand duchess, that scares her — or getting to know nana && her relatives && all the media again — what really scares her is the future. living a life that dmitry is not a part of, one where she doesn’t know of his whereabouts and is once again, left to her imagination to decipher and fantasize about where the boy she once loved was is what terrifies her more than anything now. she’s already lost the family she once knew, and the city that raised her — she can’t lose him too.

the words ‘what do you have waiting for you’ are left unsaid, left as a last resort —- she doesn’t need to remind him that he has nothing back home. their home is gone; destroyed. by refusing nana’s reward, he doesn’t have much left either. all their funds were spent on the journey here. she has no doubt that he’d be able to make it on his own, but with vlad staying - and her - he’d truly be all alone in a new city.

“stay?” 

[unfailedheart]

&. dmitry ; 

a pause falls over his body, unanticipated question reaching his ears. he really wasn’t sure what he’d been imagining paris to be like. vlad spoke of it often, and his rambling had hardly ceased since dmitry had shared his grand scheme with the older gentleman. the stories vlad spun about paris made it sound almost magical with his descriptions of fancy shops with fine things lining the windows, clean streets that happy people strode down together, chatting away, and rumors of a giant tower that had been erected recently in the middle of it all. it sounded glorious compared to the cold, unfriendly streets of st. petersburg. but dmitry would have to judge that for himself when he saw it with his own two eyes.

“i don’t know. but hopefully it’s warmer than russia. vlad seems to think it’s much fancier than russia.”

“wonder why.”

she can’t imagine paris —- it’s strange; there’s so much that she’s DREAMED of, dreamed of this chance to finally reunite ‘ together in paris ‘, to find her family - but visualizing it all is rather difficult. maybe, it’s the fact that she can’t visualize the reunion ( what would that look like? would she be greeted with open arms? would she even be

able to remember their happiest memories; all the times they’ve spent together? ) or she’s just far too nervous ;; what if she’s merely an imposter? that all her dreams, the little wisps of memories that come back, are simply a figment of her imagination? a result of what dmitry and vlad had told her, coupled with her own longing to find her family again.

“do you really think —“ the words are hanging on the tip of her tongue, and yet she can’t bring herself to ask the question. not that he’ll tell her the truth anyways; he’ll probably tell her whatever lie he thinks she needs to hear in order to be his puppet — to act like the real anastasia romanov, whether she is her or not.

“— paris could be that lovely?” she loves russia; it’s her home - the streets of russia had raised her, just like they had with him. instead of growing up with a stable family, she had barely managed to survive on her own, && well, russia had taught her everything she knew. it was home. to think of anywhere else being even more magical and lovely was just hard to imagine.  

[unfailedheart]

russiaraised:

“well, anya,” he puts emphasis on her name, though it sounds far too simple to truly belong to someone of class, “i’ve heard there’s a swimming pool somewhere on this ship. wouldn’t mind takin’ a look at that.”

he’s pushing his luck right off the bat. but really, what could they do should they catch him ( he was hard to catch, and on a boat this big, he could hide forever and never be found ), throw him overboard? surely they were more civilized than that. the worst they could do was drop him off at the next place they stopped, and he didn’t mind that one bit, having boarded for the sole reason of getting away from russia. anywhere they could discard him would be better than there, he’d still have accomplished what he illegally boarded for.

besides, he’s never seen a swimming pool before with his own eyes. why not see one belonging to the elite?

the exaggerated emphasis on her alias is an all a too telling indicator that she should’ve gone with something else ; maybe, something like ann — similar enough to her name that she’d respond, yet something that suits her just a little bit better ( but would something as ‘ english ‘ as ann really be the best name for someone like her? ) besides, she had picked her pseudonym, she’d just have to stick with it now.

the swimming pool, however, is a welcome change in the subject — she’d heard about it earlier ( although mostly, as something to keep alexei away from, fearing for the worst — and not so much about where it was located on the ship ) and it had piqued her interest. there was the slightest hint of nervousness —- what if she was recognized? the chances were slim, but still something she didn’t particularly enjoy risking. the prospect of adventure, of exploring the ship & of getting to know this stranger was ultimately more enthralling than hiding in her room with her dear sisters.

he was everything that she’d never seen before; never really gotten a chance to know — her childhood had consisted of governesses, of playing with her sisters, talks with alexei, and her nana; there hadn’t been much time for playmates ( in fair, she had been perfectly content with having olga, tatiana and maria as playmates ), not to mention, boys — boys that had very clearly been brought up differently than she had.

“lead the way?”

[unfailedheart]

     ❝ how do you become                                                the person you forget you were?❞

                                                   independent anastasia romanov                                                        historical && musical based                                                          as penned by cossette                                                est. july 2016 | revamped april 2017

[unfailedheart]

                                                funny the one small part i never knew                                                            with everything to win                                                           the only thing I lose is…

                                                   independent anastasia & dmitry                                                  as penned by cossette & amanda

[followedstories]

      ❝ THE ONLY THING                                                  i’m following is a story.❞

                                independent katherine plumber from newsies                                                          as penned by cos.                                           est. aug 2016 | revamped feb 2017 

[unfailedheart]

russiaraised:

there she was, standing before him and spouting words that took him a long moment to digest. that, of course, was partially due to the overwhelming volume of the crowd as it exploded around him, but also because of the WALLS he’d been building for so long. it took so few words to break it all down– took minimal syllables to tear apart all the defenses he’d put up after nursing his broken heart for a year ( vlad had been right all along ).

as arms reached out to the long lost grand duchess, desperate for a brush against royalty, dmitry could see the young boy he used to be in them. the urgency in their eyes brought him back to the first time he had met anastasia, in hauntingly similar circumstances. but this time she’d known him. she’d stopped and reached for him in the way she looked at him. lowering his hands dmitry realized, albeit slowly, that this was what he’d WANTED to happen. deep down, he’d been holding onto the hope that he’d SEE her and she’d want him to stay. he just hadn’t expected it to become a reality– he hadn’t prepared for it. the crowd of thousands felt suddenly suffocating now that he’d found the courage to fully look her in the eye without a hint of shame tainting his gaze. eyeing the guards posted nearby who were watching him warily, dmitry gripped the fence between himself and anastasia and effortlessly launched himself over it.

standing beside her, nothing between him, made him feel significantly SMALLER. radiant and poised, she truly was magnificent. the biggest thing in the world at the moment, he was sure. and who was he? a street rat from russia who just HAPPENED to begrudgingly take a chance on her. he had no place in her new world of fine things and class. but was he really going to condemn himself to this life of poverty and painful loneliness forever? maybe, just maybe, he could allow himself some selfishness. hesitantly, he reached out and took one of her hands, swallowing thickly.

“what happens if i do?”

she’s been plagued with questions — with the what if’s and the WHAT COULD’VE BEEN’s and she doesn’t want to live her entire life wondering another ‘what if’ ever again. she’s spent the last few years pondering about her family, about her future, about who was waiting in france for her and if she’d ever be able to reunite and find her true self. and now, realizing just who she was, wondering what her life could’ve been, if she hadn’t escaped, or if her entire family escaped too, or if she had just the slightest recollection of who she was. one thing was for certain; she never would’ve met dmitry if nothing had happened.

her heart ached for her family, of the family that she was still struggling to remember, and all of whom had met a horrible fate ( one that could’ve happened to her too, had she not been so lucky ) and yet, for some reason, she didn’t regret anything. fate worked in an interesting way; if it wasn’t for her family, she never would’ve met dmitry ( the first time, or the second time ). it was almost like the strings of fate just kept pulling them together, telling her not to let this magnificent man slip out of her grasp, not to test fate once again.

“stay with me?”

it was fate that had lead them to meet once again, after that serendipitous encounter when they were young. and maybe, part of it was her not wanting to test fate, but another part ( a greater part ) was her being selfish. she had lived without love in her life for so long; without any clue of who she was and where she belonged — and now, she knew. she knew who she was, she had a family again, and well, it didn’t seem right to do all of this without dmitry.