If you have followed my page or myself as an artist for any given time, you have most likely noticed how simple my designs are, how they focus on geometric shapes, simple designs and lines, or are nature based where clean lines aren't a necessity. There's a reason behind my design choices. I have TD (Tardiv Dyskinesia) which basically means I have uncontrollable muscle spasms, for me they are mostly centralized to my legs and especially my hands. As an artist, especially a digital artist where it is the screen/pencil is very sensitive, the shakiness in my hands makes doing clean line work very challenging. I see all these amazing artists here on Instagram, on TikTok, and on Facebook, who have beautiful line work, who create these masterpieces. I find myself often comparing myself to them, which yes I know is counter productive, it is something I am working on. I find myself feeling discouraged because my line work is far from clean. I find myself getting frustrated at my hands, at myself, questioning whether or not I can even call myself an artist. I feel a lot of shame around the fact that my hands shake so much and it is very difficult to hide that in my art. So I choose designs, with straight lines, with shapes, or based in nature so I can use the tools in Procreate to keep them crisp and clean. I cannot tell you the number of pieces, I have started, only to get frustrated with how shaky and messy the line work is, and wind up deleting the entire thing. I cannot tell you the number of times I have been almost driven to tears with discouragement and disappointment, with frustration. That may seem dramatic to most, but when you're trying to build a career and business as an artist, it can feel impossible when your work doesn't look how you envision it. I see artists, who are far more talented than I receive comments telling them "their work sucks, that a child could draw better, a monkey could draw better, etc" and if they're willing to say that to them, what would they say to me??? I also understand art is subjective and not everyone will like my art, which is fine. (Cont. In Comments) (at Manatee, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CEZO7xWli-G/?igshid=1lb3c8rsbg1to
