Crook-ed

[unovanprotectionunit27]

A greeting I suppose

You all can call me Sagan. I'm an agent for a counterterrorist organization working in different parts of Unova to keep things in order. Most things that are related to my job are not permitted to be shared, so I would ask that there are no prying questions about it in my inbox. That being said, this is not a direct contact to my agency, but a personal blog I made for myself.

I have a mabosstiff named Roger that I take everywhere, but other than that don't have a set team. Questions are open, though I can't promise that I'll answer them quickly, so keep that in mind. Feel free to interact as you please.

((Ooc under cut))

((Hey guys!!! I'm back with another one! I've been cooking this guy up for a little so let me know what you guys think!! My other pokemon IRL blog is @arisagainsttheworld

Any advice would be gladly taken at @beanscreams !!

A big thanks to @kaijucat01 for the banner art and for joining me on this blog! It's going to be amazing!))

[gothams-fav-problem-children]

”Can someone hit me with a pan real quick? I got a headache.”

[unovanprotectionunit27]

I do not think that will help.

[gothams-fav-problem-children]

”Worth a shot.”

[unovanprotectionunit27]

Absolutely not. Try other alternatives before resulting to something so reckless.

[gothams-fav-problem-children]

”But that’s not silly or whimsy enough.”

[unovanprotectionunit27]

That has nothing to do with this.

[gothams-fav-problem-children]

”Can someone hit me with a pan real quick? I got a headache.”

[unovanprotectionunit27]

I do not think that will help.

[gothams-fav-problem-children]

”Worth a shot.”

[unovanprotectionunit27]

Absolutely not. Try other alternatives before resulting to something so reckless.

[gothams-fav-problem-children]

”Can someone hit me with a pan real quick? I got a headache.”

[unovanprotectionunit27]

I do not think that will help.

[cherrytree-irl]

who (-1 HP) else (-1 HP) up (-1HP) taking (-1 HP) poison (-1 HP) damage (-1 HP)

[unovanprotectionunit27]

I (-1 HP) wish (-1 HP) I (-1 HP) could (-1 HP) say (-1 HP) I (-1 HP) wasn't. (-1 HP) (-1 HP) (-1 HP)

[unovanprotectionunit27]

"Just go on another mission, it'll make you feel better"

I do not feel better. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end well and it's going to be all my fault because I couldn't protect her.

[unovanprotectionunit27]

I can't believe they brought a kid into this. Arc save my soul.

[unovanprotectionunit27]

Disregard that last attachment.

[unovanprotectionunit27]

God damn it, I can't have anything to myself, can I?

[unovanprotectionunit27]

Disregard that last attachment.

[unovanprotectionunit27]

Redacted

[A file is attached that leads to an audio recording. Open?]

Shifting covers most of the reciever for the first few seconds, but after it settles, voices can be made out.

"I thought you already made the situation clear." It's the voice of a more gruff individual, closer to the microphone than the others.

"Well, as it seems, our agreement has changed since our last meeting." A higher voice, laced with a prominent mocking lit to it.

"You can't keep doing—" The line cuts out as movement can be heard. There's something scraping in the background.

"—make— harder, we have a job to do— going to help us."

A new voice cuts in, significantly louder than the other voices. "If he's not going to cooperate, we can always call—"

"Wait, why do you have your phone out, huh?"

More commotion covering up any distict talking. The audio cuts abruptly.

[unovanprotectionunit27]

Wha happened? :(

I'm not allowed to distribute that information. It regards my work.

[unovancutpurse]

they hate me for my dashing good looks (and several crimes)

[unovanprotectionunit27]

It's just the dozens and dozens of crimes.

[unovanprotectionunit27]

Why is it always the weekend that something crazy happens? Seriously, I didn't want to have to deal with this today.

[water-pokemon-appreciator]

[Picture of an alpha eevee staring at the camera]

[Picture of the aforementioned alpha eevee, but now a sylveon is present along with a regularly sized eevee. bless.]

Unauthorized fucking things

[unovanprotectionunit27]

The day I never work weekends is the day the world is ending.

Something always happens.

[384k-km-above-the-earth]

UHHHHH YEAH WE’RE DEFINITELY GOING TO NEED TO CHANGE THINGS WITH ✨THE MACHINE✨! WATCHED SOMEONE GET NEARLY INSTANTLY VAPORIZED WHEN THEY TESTED IT 😂 WE 😂 BETTER 😂 NOT 😂 PUT 😂 ME 😂 ON 😂 THAT 😭😭😭😭😭

LIKE. A LOT!!!

I think I need to bye myself a smoothie and stare off into the distance for a bit or something? 🤔😔

[unovanprotectionunit27]

That doesn't sound very legal.

[384k-km-above-the-earth]

Workplace accidents aren’t unheard of! It’s not like someone did it to them! But! Think on the bright side! We… Discovered this defect now so… More issues won’t occur down the line! I’m… Sure my boss will compensate their family? If they have one? Maybe?

[unovanprotectionunit27]

This is not the type of situation to ignore the facts in favor of the bright side. Please make sure that these accidents don't become a frequent reoccurrence.

[384k-km-above-the-earth]

UHHHHH YEAH WE’RE DEFINITELY GOING TO NEED TO CHANGE THINGS WITH ✨THE MACHINE✨! WATCHED SOMEONE GET NEARLY INSTANTLY VAPORIZED WHEN THEY TESTED IT 😂 WE 😂 BETTER 😂 NOT 😂 PUT 😂 ME 😂 ON 😂 THAT 😭😭😭😭😭

LIKE. A LOT!!!

I think I need to bye myself a smoothie and stare off into the distance for a bit or something? 🤔😔

[unovanprotectionunit27]

That doesn't sound very legal.