it's either sadness or euphoria

Ré | 22 | She/Her | University Student ao3 handle - UnlicensedDetective So much passion, so little time

[unqualifieddetective]

writing aijad on my phone means I occasionally open the emoji panel, so I come across gems like “He feels gross 🤣” and I find it VERY funny

[kevindayswife]

[unqualifieddetective]

I loved chapter 32 so much. Stebbins is going in my pocket- I think my favorite scenes were when he told Gary about his mom being sick and when he let himself cry. Those vulnerable scenes were rewarding to read especially after chapter 29.

On a completely different note Rank is becoming one of my favorite AIJAD characters- he’s fucking hilarious

Chapter 32 has SO MUCH pay off because of chapter 29. You just know how much Billy needed at that point, and what really breaks my heart is WHAT makes him break. Gary acknowledging how he was never really ever okay just because he functioned, the way the mechanical rabbit’s only purpose is to function. Someone sedate me.

HAHA I love how everyone loves Rank. Greatest decision ever was just making Rank my oc. He and Hank just have the funniest conversations, you know it. I’m so excited for a funny gag in chapter 34 I’ve been slowly setting up. I think you guys will grip your hair in disbelief and laugh.

[idongnknow]

(wip) cooking something... 🌻

hint: earrings - malcolm todd :)

lazerbeam mice admin Today

[idongnknow]

Nasty and feral little grin

Fic by unlicenseddetective on ao3.. Rwad it:) 🐁

[loganloverline]

OMG HAI! so this is fanart for chapter 32 of @unqualifieddetective peak Starkovitch fic. Chapter 32 was my favorite chapter. Thank you for being such an inspiration for us all in the TLW fandom and for helping me getting back into drawing after art block all July!

Canvas Time: 1:51hrs (Speedpaint Attached)

Program: Procreate and drawing with my finger

[unqualifieddetective]

Okay wait hi im back again with another ask. Hypotheticallyyyy if someone opened a shared blog for aijad posting (fanart and rambles and the sort) would it be okay with you

welcome back! That would be totally okay with me! I’m honestly so honoured there’s a big enough interest in aijad to want to do that! I give the full stamp of approval 👍

[unqualifieddetective]

Oh My GOD I absolutely loved 32. It was so spectacular that it is probably now my second favorite chapter (behind Screech Thunk Badum) My favorite line (conversation?) has to be the one where Billy is looking at Gary and Gary’s like “what are you looking at” and Billy goes “ you. It’s just you” I TWEAKED when that happened

I am SO excited for the next chapter and the wait was so worth this chapter

PS the hug scene was on of my favorites in the whole book!

Ahh!!! I’m so glad you liked it! I’m also so relieved it’s in people’s top chapters. Literally a weight off my chest lmaooo. And yeahhh I anticipated that part making people feral 🙂‍↕️

Also, I love that you called aijad a book lmaooo. Like, it’s certainly the length of one! But book is funny to me

[unqualifieddetective]

i feel like aijad gary with how nauseous i am right now

[unqualifieddetective]

Hello its my first time ever here!!!!!!! My partner and i recently got into aijad and were wondering what the groups lunch table layout is... (specifically the shape) Do you have a solid idea of it? 👀

Hello!! Welcome, welcome! I actually have drawings saved on my computer about the layout so I wouldn’t forget/knew how to describe things.

The lunch table is a big circular table that seats 8. I’ll use clock times to describe where people sit!

In semester 1, Hank sits at 12, Art at 1/2, Pete at 3, Ray at 4/5, Gary at 6, Billy at 7/8, Collie at 9, Richard at 10/11.

In semester 2, it’s almost the same, except that the order goes Hank, Art, Pete, Ray, Rank, Billy, Gary, Collie, Richard. So a little bit snugger since they have to pull up a chair, and Billy purposefully moved where Gary sat so he wouldn’t be next to Rank since he was high key freaking out over Rank being there.

[unqualifieddetective]

Instructions unclear: you said to write a long comment reacting to all the lines we like? 👀

OH GOD PLEASE SAVE YOUR HANDS, THINK OF THE ARTHRITIS

[unqualifieddetective]

And then they confess there eternal love for eachother and skip off into the sunset

I’m sorry but my greed when it comes to aijad SICKENS me, because I read that entire chapter and thought “holy shit, I need more”

And while we are talking about chapter 32, am I saying I WANT Billy to be sick..?? Nooo, but I’m so so so so so so so so so appreciative thats he’s less able to hide his emotions or filter his words because its giving us a glimpse of how down bad he is even when sick as hell

HA I’m afraid that confession will take a little while longer 🤷‍♀️

It’s okay, I also am very greedy about aijad. If I could go back to my pace writing chapters 10-15, I would. I was SPEEDY!

No genuinely, Billy needed to be sick to lose his filter and also to let Gary in, and understand it’s fine if he lets Gary see him as his worst. It’s been in my ideas doc for MONTHS, and I’m so glad I finally wrote it!

[unqualifieddetective]

Y’ello !!!! I’m like. . .very very new annnddd I was wondering how often you update aijad ? Is it random or do u have some kinda schedule?

Hello hello! Welcome to the aijad fandom lol. I used to upload weekly (imagine I’m looking wistfully in the distance as I say that) but without a structured schedule, it’s hard to say. Especially when I write 30k chapters accidentally 🙃 I’m going to try and get back into the weekly schedule (excluding for chapter 33 because I have a concert and then a wedding to attend) but I can’t say for certain. I do give updates and sneak peeks on my tumblr though so I’m pretty open about what progress is being made

[unqualifieddetective]

This chapter had me kicking my feet crying before bed. Screaming silently. OMG IT WAS SO GOOD. JUST JSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJ

The movie lines snuck in and the OMG THEY FINALLY- screaming crying clawing at the bars of my cage

:((((((((((

Wait I need to turn the frown upside down bc I have been smiling for the past 20 minutes because of this fic

:))))))))

You write so BEAUTIFULLY. Have an amazing day :))))

HAHA I’m so glad you enjoyed chapter 32! Glad I can make people feel feral over them, it’s genuinely the highest compliment. I had so much fun writing it, even if it was beating me bloody lol

[unqualifieddetective]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 32/45 Fandom: The Long Walk (Movie 2025) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Gary Barkovitch/Stebbins, Gary Barkovitch & Ray Garraty, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Ray Garraty/Peter McVries, Clementine Olson | Cathy Scramm/Hank Olson, Art Baker & Gary Barkovitch & Ray Garraty & Harkness & Peter McVries & Hank Olson & Collie Parker & Stebbins Characters: Gary Barkovitch, Ray Garraty, Peter McVries, Stebbins (The Long Walk), Collie Parker, Harkness (The Long Walk), Hank Olson, Art Baker, Original Characters, Rank (The Long Walk) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Growth, Personal Growth, Eventual Romance, Fist Fights, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, Found Family, Getting Together, Character Study, regular updates, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not Beta Read, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Sickness, Slow Burn, Vomiting, gary throws up too many times for me to not tag this at this point lol Series: Part 1 of aijad-verse Summary:

He repeats it a few times, scratches his neck, slaps himself again, and then falls into his bed. He groans at the way it bothers his bruised ribs, but he lays there in the pain, letting it cleanse him from his thoughts earlier.

Here, in the haze of his pain, he is whole, normal, pure. He is repenting, paying his dues, accepting his punishment. He doesn’t need his pa for that, he can do it himself, make sure he’s not some dirty gay.

Gary hasn’t believed in God in a very long time; in fact, he’s certain there isn’t one. But there has to be some truths in the world, and this has to be one of them.

Gary Barkovitch is normal. And if he isn’t, he’ll break himself until his bones set right. ——————— OR - All Gary Barkovitch's life, he has been the starving mutt wandering the edge of the street light, baring his teeth at any approaching person. Maybe, now in Maine, he can learn to lower his hackles and let people in.

[unqualifieddetective]

bruh

[unqualifieddetective]

Pressed the wrong reblog option whoops. Anyway, it was a bug. I was like "I have seen oneshots with more words than this, what is going on???" So, update coming at you

[unqualifieddetective]

bruh