"but at my back I always hear time's wingèd chariot hurrying near; and yonder all before us lie deserts of vast eternity." â To His Coy Mistress, Andrew Marvell Patty | 1 9 9 0 Writer in search of her muse, will fangirl for now.
A month since Typhoon Odette (Rai) hit the city, a week since we finally got power back, and I feel like I still haven't completely processed what happened.
That was one of the most traumatic experiences ever, not knowing if my home would still be standing, not knowing if everyone I knew would make it through the night.
But once the winds died down and daylight broke, the survival mode kicked in and fueled all of us to go hunt for resources like a damn post-apocalyptic video game. The entire city had no power, very limited water, weak communication signals, and people were panicking for food, water, fuel, and cashâall while dealing with massive damages to their homes and businesses, and also being unable to work. It was Christmas season too, supposedly the most wonderful time of the year, but it was a dark oneâliterally and figuratively.
I was luckier than most: Our house was intact, though a little worse for wear with minimal damages. We had enough food to last for a week before having to brave the lines. There was a deep well nearby we could source non-potable water from, and some industrious neighbors offered to get us drinking water. There was one spot in the house we could catch signal so we can update family and loved ones from all over the world.
Still, it was still so hard to get through the last few weeks. I feel like I'm dealing with the exhaustion from it all.
Gina Carano was finally dropped by Disney/Lucas Film and her agency, UTA, just dropped her.
Honestly, Iâm shocked it took so long let alone even happen at all. Iâm not going to dive into details as to why it finally happened (holocaust denier, trump supporter, transphobic, the list goes on and on) because the Star Wars fandom is full of racists asshats who will defend her because they have absolutely no morale and common sense whatsoever. So letâs move past this for now.
Now, I do really like the character, Cara Dune, and if you look at the concept art, itâs pretty obvious who shouldâve been casted instead of Carano.
Katy OâBrian.
I mean fuck me running. Just wow.
Iâve heard many other great suggestions but none of them really fit the vibe and energy quite like OâBrian.
Been in and out of Tumblr because of real life, but itâs so nice to come back to fun stuff like tags and works being recommended. Super delayed, but thank you for tagging me @aleksandrachaev, @nazezdha321, and @mylifeeinfandomsâ!
Rules: Tag ten people you want to get to know!
Relationship Status: I have a dog.
Favorite Color: It changes a lot, but right now Iâm drawn to serenity and emerald green.
Lipstick or Chapstick: Ideally Chapstick, but Iâm a lipstick kinda gal. Except these days because #WearAMask, people.
Favorite Food: A lot, but Iâll say ramen for now because Iâm craving it so bad.
Last Song I Listened To: Still by Ramin Kaminloo from the Anastasia original cast Broadway recording
Last Movie I Watched: Enola Holmes
Top Three Favorite Shows: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. forever, Queer Eye for easy watching and fluff, The OC if weâre counting old shows.
Top Three Favorite Bands:Â Panic! at the Disco, Stars, The Neighbourhood
Books I Am Reading: Dune by Frank Herbert
I Am Tagging: I forfeit my rights for tagging people specifically because I think this has made the rounds already in the time I was gone haha. But if you havenât and want to take this, please go ahead!
Coogler says Boseman 'shielded his collaborators from his suffering' amid his cancer battle.
Before sharing my thoughts on the passing of the great Chadwick Boseman, I first offer my condolences to his family who meant so very much to him. To his wife, Simone, especially.Â
I inherited Marvel and the Russo Brothersâ casting choice of TâChalla. It is something that I will forever be grateful for. The first time I saw Chadâs performance as TâChalla, it was in an unfinished cut of Captain America: Civil War. I was deciding whether or not directing Black Panther was the right choice for me. Iâll never forget, sitting in an editorial suite on the Disney Lot and watching his scenes. His first with Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, then, with the South African cinema titan, John Kani as TâChallaâs father, King TâChaka. It was at that moment I knew I wanted to make this movie. After Scarlettâs character leaves them, Chad and John began conversing in a language I had never heard before. It sounded familiar, full of the same clicks and smacks that young black children would make in the States. The same clicks that we would often be chided for being disrespectful or improper. But, it had a musicality to it that felt ancient, powerful, and African.Â
In my meeting after watching the film, I asked Nate Moore, one of the producers of the film, about the language. âDid you guys make it up?â Nate replied, âthatâs Xhosa, John Kaniâs native language. He and Chad decided to do the scene like that on set, and we rolled with it.â I thought to myself. âHe just learned lines in another language, that day?â I couldnât conceive how difficult that must have been, and even though I hadnât met Chad, I was already in awe of his capacity as actor.Â
I learned later that there was much conversation over how TâChalla would sound in the film. The decision to have Xhosa be the official language of Wakanda was solidified by Chad, a native of South Carolina, because he was able to learn his lines in Xhosa, there on the spot. He also advocated for his character to speak with an African accent, so that he could present TâChalla to audiences as an African king, whose dialect had not been conquered by the West.Â
I finally met Chad in person in early 2016, once I signed onto the film. He snuck past journalists that were congregated for a press junket I was doing for Creed, and met with me in the green room. We talked about our lives, my time playing football in college, and his time at Howard studying to be a director, about our collective vision for TâChalla and Wakanda. We spoke about the irony of how his former Howard classmate Ta-Nehisi Coates was writing TâChallaâs current arc with Marvel Comics. And how Chad knew Howard student Prince Jones, whoâs murder by a police officer inspired Coatesâ memoir Between The World and Me.Â
I noticed then that Chad was an anomaly. He was calm. Assured. Constantly studying. But also kind, comforting, had the warmest laugh in the world, and eyes that seen much beyond his years, but could still sparkle like a child seeing something for the first time. Â Â
That was the first of many conversations. He was a special person. We would often speak about heritage and what it means to be African. When preparing for the film, he would ponder every decision, every choice, not just for how it would reflect on himself, but how those choices could reverberate. âThey not ready for this, what we are doingâŚâ âThis is Star Wars, this is Lord of the Rings, but for us⌠and bigger!â He would say this to me while we were struggling to finish a dramatic scene, stretching into double overtime. Or while he was covered in body paint, doing his own stunts. Or crashing into frigid water, and foam landing pads. I would nod and smile, but I didnât believe him. I had no idea if the film would work. I wasnât sure I knew what I was doing. But I look back and realize that Chad knew something we all didnât. He was playing the long game.  All while putting in the work. And work he did.Â
He would come to auditions for supporting roles, which is not common for lead actors in big budget movies. He was there for several MâBaku auditions. In Winston Dukeâs, he turned a chemistry read into a wrestling match. Winston broke his bracelet. In Letitia Wrightâs audition for Shuri, she pierced his royal poise with her signature humor, and would bring about a smile to TâChallaâs face that was 100% Chad.Â
While filming the movie, we would meet at the office or at my rental home in Atlanta, to discuss lines and different ways to add depth to each scene. We talked costumes, military practices. He said to me âWakandans have to dance during the coronations. If they just stand there with spears, what separates them from Romans?â In early drafts of the script. Eric Killmongerâs character would ask TâChalla to be buried in Wakanda. Chad challenged that and asked, what if Killmonger asked to be buried somewhere else?Â
Chad deeply valued his privacy, and I wasnât privy to the details of his illness. After his family released their statement, I realized that he was living with his illness the entire time I knew him. Because he was a caretaker, a leader, and a man of faith, dignity and pride, he shielded his collaborators from his suffering. He lived a beautiful life. And he made great art. Day after day, year after year. That was who he was. He was an epic firework display. I will tell stories about being there for some of the brilliant sparks till the end of my days. What an incredible mark heâs left for us.Â
I havenât grieved a loss this acute before. I spent the last year preparing, imagining and writing words for him to say, that we werenât destined to see. It leaves me broken knowing that I wonât be able to watch another close-up of him in the monitor again or walk up to him and ask for another take.Â
It hurts more to know that we canât have another conversation, or facetime, or text message exchange. He would send vegetarian recipes and eating regimens for my family and me to follow during the pandemic. Â He would check in on me and my loved ones, even as he dealt with the scourge of cancer. Â
In African cultures we often refer to loved ones that have passed on as ancestors. Sometimes you are genetically related. Sometimes you are not. I had the privilege of directing scenes of Chadâs character, TâChalla, communicating with the ancestors of Wakanda. We were in Atlanta, in an abandoned warehouse, with bluescreens, and massive movie lights, but Chadâs performance made it feel real. I think it was because from the time that I met him, the ancestors spoke through him. Itâs no secret to me now how he was able to skillfully portray some of our most notable ones. I had no doubt that he would live on and continue to bless us with more. But it is with a heavy heart and a sense of deep gratitude to have ever been in his presence, that I have to reckon with the fact that Chad is an ancestor now. And I know that he will watch over us, until we meet again.
Itâs pretty close to being me! Except my hair is only this pretty like 2 days each year. Itâs usually extremely frizzy in this Mississippi humidity. đ
Tagging @agentmmayy @clementinewhy @lemon-boie only if yâall want to do this of course. No pressure! :)
Me as close as I could get it ;) Irl longer hair tho and more *half*-Asian than this appears. @justanalto @daisylincs @nazezdha321 @here-for-huntingbird if anyone of you want to try! <3
Because boba is life, I just proved I can still do my eye makeup like this, and MAC Powder Kiss in A Little Tamed is my favorite lipstick ever.
Tagging: @queen-of-love-and-beauty @loved-the-stars-too-fondly @nazezdha321 and anyone else who wants to hop aboard! (insert Mushu gif: I LIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!)
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