Consent means having the right to say YES or NO, and the responsibility to ASK FIRST.
CONSENT: To make a mutual, voluntary, informed decision between clear minded, of age participants before ANY and EVERY sexual act. Sounds simple enough right? Consent is a mutual decison, a question- do you want to do this with me? Its Not what you're wearing. Its Not "oh well they wanted to because why else would they get so drunk". Its Not "well they've been with so many other people they obviously wanted to". I don't know about you, but i was never taught about consent in school. The way i learned about how important it is to ask first is through reading articles about assault victims voicing their pain. Reading about how someone's dignity and bodily autonomy was taken from them because they were "drunk anyway" or were known for having several sexual partners so "she would have said yes anyway" or simply because their choice of clothing was "provocative" so they were "asking for it". In school we were never taught to be comfortable with our bodies or taught to respect one another regardless of the way we dress or who we've been with. As a teenage girl, the message I received from society, school, and my peers was that being comfortable with your body= being promiscuous. And being promiscuous meant that you had "no self respect" so people will treat you as such- in other words if people think you're "a sure thing", your lack of consent wouldn't really count because if you don't respect your body, why should other people have to ask first? Can you see how messed up that is? That society teaches you to be ashamed of sex. That if you aren't ashamed your right to bodily autonomy doesn't have to be respected because you're "asking for it". But Now i know. I know that being ashamed doesn't mean i have self-respect. I know that being ashamed to even talk or think about sex is ridiculous because if we pretend it doesn't exist or put it on some high moral pedestal it makes it so much easier for rapists to get away with with their crimes. The shame we've been taught is what causes us to just accept half baked excuses like "she was wearing such skimpy clothing- she was asking for it" How about instead of assuming someone is asking for it, you just ASK FIRST? We need to teach ourselves, and generations to come that no matter what you want to do with someone, YOU ASK FIRST. It doesn't help we teach girls to cover up- YOUR CLOTHING IS NOT CONSENT. It doesn't help we teach girls that being open with your sexuality is morally wrong and that being "promiscuous" means that you'll be less respected as a human beinG- just because you are sexually active or have had several partners doesn't mean you're a "sure thing". CONSENT CANNOT BE ASSUMED. We need to be telling young people that its their body, and therefore their choice! At the end of the day no matter who they've been with or what they wear; they have the power to say yes or no. And in return they have the responsibility to ASK FIRST.
- @ColsButler.
