I always feel so thrilled when new fans join the fandom.
Let me start off by telling you that when you enter this fandom, be prepared because well
I’M JUST KIDDING NOT REALLY PLS DON’T RUN AWAY
And no! Of course it’s not stupid. Ain’t nothing stupid about wanting to know the names of five fine-ass gentlemen who go by the names of sex Gods of the East
SO. Let’s begin with the one on the far left, shall we?
Kim Junsu. His stage name is Xiah (or Xia) Junsu. Most precious little ball of talent you’ll ever come across. Voted as best idol singer by professional vocal trainers, he loves sports. Oh and cats. He is the biggest walking paradox you’ll ever come to know, because his personality is just so incredibly cute, bubbly, bright and he’s a hyper little dolphin-duck hybrid (he’s earned the nickname of dolphin bcos when he yells or screams just. dolphin. and duck for reasons that will be explained later on), yet when he sets foot on stage, he goes 180 degree and becomes the coolest, most raunchy performer you’ll ever see. His hips are sinful and it would seem like he has control over each and every fibers of his body.
Here is a Junsu in its natural state
and here is a Junsu on stage
His ass is one of the most glorious asses in the Kpop industry, and he has earned the nickname of ‘duckbutt’ by his fans because he puts all ducks’ butts to shame.
I present to you Korea’s national treasure.
his ass will change your life
NEXT UP IS THE GORGEOUS MAN NEXT TO HIM.
PARK YOOCHUN.
His stage name is Micky Yoochun, and he be the pimp of the group. He be pimpin’ with his OSM Engrish and gull you’ll never get to know a dude as carefree and chill as him. He’s a crazily talented composer and piano player, and his voice. is. so. deep. and. damn. sexy. UNF
IDOL TURNED PARTLY ACTOR. WINNING ALL THE DAMN AWARDS BECAUSE HE IS AMAZING AND BTW IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED ROOFTOP PRINCE YET (KDRAMA) IDK WHAT YOU’RE DOING STILL READING THIS
Undoubtedly, as you watch videos and see pictures of him, you will come across the Chunface. also known as, his derp.
rule number 1 of being a cassie: worship the chunface. He be teasing and bullying the daylights out of duckbutt up there (he is also known as trollchun), but we all know that they are the best of friends and he couldn’t live without his little ray of sunshine that is Junsu.
GREASE IS HIS SPECIALTY. A man as greasy and cheesy as him will have you punch walls and flip tables because really.
SECOND PERSON ON THE RIGHT.
SHIM MODEL CHANGMIN
Maknae, aka youngest of the group. He may be the youngest, but don’t be fooled; this asshole dominates the other members with his supernatural strength and 6 foot 2 tower-like body.
DEM LEGS. They’re so long that he actually trips over them just imagine the child of bambi on ice and a giraffe and weLL
He is the high tenor of the group; he owns them high notes like the talented motherfucker he is.
He is actually a little shit. That mouth is so snarky you’re going to want to curse his intelligence and wit. Another nickname of his is Voldemin, because he is the evilest maknae out there. He has an obsession over food and porn, and he is already engaged.
Cassiopeia, including his members, as well as many other idols, are mere peasants next to his Highness. Bow down to the lord
NEXTTT. the gorgeous fucker in the middle.
The Queen
Kim Jaejoong.
He is an angel sent on earth to please us mere mortals (actual definition). Such a sweetheart. You will find no flaw in his stupid face and person and his voice makes the most beautiful sounds I’ve heard in my entire life. His beauty will leave you actually agape and dumbstruck and he just exudes sexiness.
FIERCE ROCKSTAR
Also known as the ‘mother’ of DBSK. He cooks like a fucking chef and takes care and worries about his members all the time. oh and did I mention how pretty he is
LOOK AT HIM. DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON CAUSE I DON’T
OH I ALMOST FORGOT. HE’S A HOE
AND LASTLY BUT NOT LEAST.
ON THE FAR RIGHT.
JUNG YUNHO.
LEADER OF DBSK. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS
WHETHER IT’S 2PM
BLOCK B TIME
OR ANY OTHER FUCKING TIME OF THE DAY
WHEN HE SAYS U-KNOW TIME
IT’S U-KNOW TIME.
FEEL HIS MANLINESS FROM ACROSS THE GLOBE BECAUSE REALLY. ONE LOOK IN YOUR DIRECTION AND THE GUY WILL HAVE ALL YOUR OVARIES GONE IN A BLINK OF AN EYE. I MEAN
HAVE YOU SEEN THAT SMILE
HAVE YOU
HIS PEARLY WHITES ARE PERFECT. SO ARE HIS SCARS ON THE SIDE AND UNDER HIS LEFT EYE.
CHILDREN-LOVER. LIKE, EXCESSIVE LOVE FOR CHILDREN. HIS GRABBY HANDS COME OUT EVERY TIME THERE IS A CHILD WITHIN A 50-METER RADIUS OF HIM. THAT SOUNDED SO WRONG BUT IT’S ACTUALLY REALLY INNOCENT HE IS ADORABLE WITH CHILDREN. YOU JUST NEED TO HAVE HIM AS YOUR HUSBAND.
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HE’S ALSO A SAINT. LIKE, PERFECT THOUGHTS LINGER AROUND IN HIS HEAD 24/7, I FEEL LIKE HE DRINKS AND SHOWERS IN HOLY WATER IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
MOTHERFUCKER’S GOT SOME MAD BREAKDANCING SKILLS. SO BADASS HE EVEN DOES HANDSTANDS AND WINDMILLS ON ICE.
ALL THE AWARDS FOR THICKNESS OF BODY. HYPOTHETICALLY KNOWN TO HAVE THE BIGGEST, MOST GLORIOUS FAMILY JEWELS OF ALL KPOP, AKA THE GODCOCK.
HIS HIPS ARE MAGICAL AND REALLY WHO WOULDN’T BEG TO HAVE HIM IN THEIR BED
CHRISTINE YOUR BIAS IS SHOWING
SO IN ALL
THESE FIVE GODS PUT TOGETHER RESULT IN THIS
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
THIS
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