gud bespare danmark

The smallest country with the biggest superiority complex I'm the Admiral and my personal blog is @ace-the-history-fangirl Also run by mod Bang and mod Tycho (Tycho is Faroese, not Danish fyi)

[fridayagaingarfiebaby]

Friday Again Garfie Baby

[dagenssvenska]

Fredag Igen Gustaf Älskling

[useless-denmarkfacts]

I kalder fandeme da vel ikke Garfield for Gustaf derovre i fjendelandet?? Hvad i alverden er det for noget???

[fridayagaingarfiebaby]

Friday Again Garfie Baby

[dagenssvenska]

Fredag Igen Gustaf Älskling

[useless-denmarkfacts]

I kalder fandeme da vel ikke Garfield for Gustaf derovre i fjendelandet?? Hvad i alverden er det for noget???

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Den Chaddeste Danske Zoo:

Først pensionerede cirkuselefanter, og nu befriede galdebjørne? U go Grev Knuth

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Hip Hurra Matroser!

Lad os alle ønske stort tillykke til bloggens helt egen maskot, admiralens hund Buller, der fylder 13 år i dag!

Her fotograferet med sin nye hotdog bamse, en hotdog til en hot dog! Work it, Buller!

[useless-denmarkfacts]

As a European with English as my second language, hearing Americans go:

"A thing of X"

- is so weird! Like the other day I watched a US immigrant to an EU country talk about how much cheaper food is, and she was listing her shopping as "two things of mayonnaise, a thing of peanut butter" like girl! There are words for this! How about tub? Jar? Box? Container? Do you guys Not Know the words of your own language?

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Husk hvederne i aften, folkens!

[useless-denmarkfacts]

To all you Americans who were *gisp* SCANDALISED when Aalborg Zoo asked for animals to be donated for predator food last year, may I introduce their legendary orangutan, Charlie:

Charlie lived from ca. 1958-2002, was wild caught in Borneo, and was famous for *checks notes* ah yes

Chainsmoking cigarettes, drinking draft beer by the pint, and enjoying entire big macs in one big gulp. He also tried to kill his keepers. Twice. Once by strangulation.

Look, I'm not saying Edgar Allan Poe was right, but he was on to something here. Except Charlie did it very deliberately.

And if you like him, wait until I tell you about the two major runaway cases from the same zoo, one involving a whole entire PANTHER.

Pour one out for Charlie!

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Admiralen Anmelder:

Påskesnøffel, Hvad Vil Du Her?

Admiralen og Admiralens Mor (Generalen) var en tur forbi Brugsen i dag, og blev stoppet af et chokerende syn:

Det er en syg høne, det der, blev vi enige om, så naturligvis skulle den snøffelskidende høne med hjem. Her begyndte nedturen til gengæld...

Duft: 5/10, det dufter af kemisk snøffel. Lidt syrlig på en suspekt måde. Ikke lovende.

Udseende:

2/10, Generalen udtalte følgende meget Østjyske dom: "Den er de ikke kommet særlig godt afsted med". Pluspoint for en nuance af gul der er næsten blændende.

Smag: -10/10. Der er havregryn i den. Der skal ikke være havregryn i snøfler. Beskrivelsen "kage med romsmag" er også misvisende, for den der romsmag gemmer sig virkelig godt i påskesnøflerne. Og så er der kommet frugtkoncentrat og æblepuré i? Hallå?? Frugt i min snøffel? I think not. Generalen spiste nummer to med ordene "Bortset fra at de ikke smager særlig godt, er det sukker." Hun mente også, at den er for syrlig til at være en rigtig snøffel. Pinnochio-snøffel.

13 forskellige E-numre, og havregryn. No thank you.

Dom: -3 point for den skriggule påskesnøffel, der (åbenbart) er skidt ud af en syg høne, og som bare gerne vil være en rigtig dreng.

[useless-denmarkfacts]

On behalf of the people of Denmark, I would like to make everyone aware of the words

"Fedtfinnefisk"

and

"Fiskefrikadellefars"

Thank you, that is all.

[useless-denmarkfacts]

I denne Vinter-OL tid har Admiralen en helt speciel udfordring...

Det forholder sig sådan, at admiralens mor er helt besat af vintersport, mens jeg selv er lidt mere... neutral, når det kommer til alt andet end kunstskøjteløb. Derfor har jeg en tendens til at glemme hvad disciplinerne hedder, og give dem nye navne når jeg skal nævne dem. Her kommer udfordringen så:

Kan du gætte, hvilke discipliner, der gemmer sig bag disse admiralske sprogblomster?

1. Skyskidning

2. Bumleski

3. Pukjagt

4. Højdeskræk

5. Xbox spil

Den første til at gætte alle 5 vil få tilsendt en officiel Admiralen-autograf med DAO, som led i en Admiralen Anmelder: DAO edition!

[useless-denmarkfacts]

That non-anglophone country experience when you replay a game from 20 years ago as a now English-speaking adult and suddenly realise "Oh, THAT'S what I was supposed to do 😬"

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Addendum: when I shared this insight with my dad, he answered with the following nugget of wisdom

"Oh, so it turns out there was a whole game inside the game?"

[useless-denmarkfacts]

That non-anglophone country experience when you replay a game from 20 years ago as a now English-speaking adult and suddenly realise "Oh, THAT'S what I was supposed to do 😬"

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Det er gået op for admiralen, at jeg ikke har postet om Buller i 2025, hvilket jo er eminent dårlig public service, så!

Tillad mig at kompensere for denne kortsynethed:

Han har det godt!

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Today In Denmark:

A frozen bake-easy poppyseed pastry has been recalled due to *checks notes* ah yes

"Too high levels of opioids in the poppy seeds"

Where did they buy their seeds? Christiania???

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Useless Denmark Fact

In Danish, a pumpkin is called a 'grass tub'!

Pictured: a very Danish pumpkin

[taggsvansen]

🐐THE GOAT HAS FALLEN 🐐

[dontlistentothemmoose]

[disasterhimbo]

[ID: a meme where the image is originally a whole frozen turkey or chicken being put into the fridge to thaw.

In this version, there’s the Gävle Goat pasted over top of the frozen bird. The Gävle Goat is a giant Swedish Yule goat, made of hay and ribbons, and displayed for Christmas every year.

The text on the meme says (in all-caps impact font), “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s almost time to burn the Gävle Goat 🔥🔥🔥.” End ID.]