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@user-110112
yk some people truly truly think all rexies only care about the skinniness. im sure thats true for some but personally for me, i just want some control over my life. i want some dignity and command because my family has stripped it all away from me.
i really want to buy that protein ice cream, yk the one thats like 370kcal for the whole tub??? ouuu shiii
and i wanna lock in on the fibre90 snacks aswell cus those r YUMMM
guys so i locked in today instead - 1k calories i calculated but i fhink its prolly more. whatever, all i care about is getting back into the mode and atleast getting to 50kg before september when school starts.
monday im gonna LOCK TF IN!!!!!! ik ive gained lots of weight these last few like 4 days but im gonna lock in and hopefully on saturday ill still be st around 56kg cus ik ive gained.
have a feeling the next time i weigh myself im gonna be royally disappointed.
guys tomororw im baking for my brothers birthday and im making these high calorie cookies. i know im going to have one so i can atleast try it out so do i make my day tmrw a cheat day??? help pls
the best wl motivation for me right now is my man. he goes to the gym and stuff so he is really fit and it truly just makes me not gonna look like a whale next to him, or for people to think like “whys he with her when shes not even skinny?”. he was saying that he loves my thick thighs though but he literally doesnt understand the things i would do for like the cute little petite thighs that other girls have.
its 2am. just already fucked up my day today. i made my brother nachos and i was telling myself im not gonna have any but i did and it was like according to my yazio ai it was 450 kcal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and tomorrow i have to go ikea with my mum and i know she will make me eat there. i have already tracked what im gonna eat but god im so scared . i dont wanna keep fucking up today tho so im gonna try my best to stay under my limit, if a bit over its ok. i just want <1.5k kcal.
new fear food : NACHOS!!!
seriously, my favourite breakfast rn is toast with butter & sugar. just 117kcal white bread, thin layer of butter and a tablespoon of Demerara sugar on top. its so nice and crunchy, its also sweet so i wont binge later in the day when i crave something sweet, cus i just wont!! its really good, if u guys havent tried it and are being forced to eat or its too risky not too, try it!
i hate boys
i want to BINGE OH MY GODDDD
cravings are KILLING ME. i want some loaded fries so bad rn…
my dad is bringing chinese takeout tonight. my kcals today are gonna be like 2000. im gonna kms.
i’ve been loosing weight tho- im at 55kg!! i cant wait to get out of the 50s jail and enter 40s heaven
also i havent ran in ages … i need to go soon again
my man said he can imagine me with a 6 pack… WTF?!???!!
im meant to be dainty and skinny and like a little bunny you can scoop up!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatever, in the end when my therapist diagnoses me with anorexia ill show him and he will never say anything about my body ever again
my cravings are INSANE RN!! i have ice cream in the freezer & my favourite crisps… but i dont wanna have to post on here about how uncomfortably full i am because i couldn’t control myself.
my kind-of-boyfriend and i are going to his best friends house to makeout on saturday. hes shorter than me eww but hes super muscular so yk what, thats chill. he is really into thick thighs tho and i just dont know how??? like theres no way its that good. he said mine are ‘one in a million’ but i think he is just fetishising my fatass whos unable to loose weight and my scars aswell. boys suck!!!
what is wrong with fathers!!!!
i woke up late and my dad immediately told me to eat breakfast. i told him ill just have lunch instead later. just now, i went to the kitchen to make myself tea and he was there and then he told me to airfry some food. i told no and that i’ll do it later. this BITCH comes to me and touches my stomach/ribs and yk when parents give you that look where they widen their eyes at you when they are disappointed? he did that and told me to eat. i just like stormed out.
the thing is im not even that skinny. ik how that sounds but listen, bc im younger its just like its normal. my ribs are barely even visible. idk how my parents immediately know as soon as i start starving again. fuckkk why did 11 year old me tell my school counsellor… now my parents will never leave me alone!!
i love how the 4n4 community is the sweetest collection of people out there. more sane ppl would definitely think we’re all evil to each other but it’s all internalized 💗
luv yall frrrr
for anyone thinking i am some running god… lemme prove u wrong hehehe
also guys!!! 56.2kg!!!!!!!!!!! im so so happy
idk if running will help me build muscle to maintain my weight when i reach my goal but hopefully it will….
