i can't handle change

i am releasing everything that is best for me to let go of now

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new beginning!

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welcome 2026 lol i can’t wait to leave this freaking household <3

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happy new year mo mamamo

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who tf cares?

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just freaking get me outta here at this point

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i hate it here

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bro... this crazy ass feeling once again 🤓🤏🏼 like told myself somehow that i will stop simping over putas i shouldn't be simping in the first place like it's kind of getting worse what am i supposed to do girl i have no idea T-T lately tho i feel like i am kind of obliged to yk my grandma in the fadersu side's ancestors or smth if that make sense cause this attachment man not a single cell could ever comprehend #this aka what i'm feeling hays might fa and rewatch when marnie was there (2014) who's with me? wala???? i know naman.

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three years and i still cry, sometimes.

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erm. does this thing works? so yeah hi ^_^ can i vent out some loathe here? yes? sure <3

lately (moments ago) i am feeling so repressed by my emotions again, not in a positive way. i could tell that my environment defines my mental state, like when you use a bread knife to cut a butter typa way except it doesn't make sense, or does it? the multiple parallel mark leaving on its surface is exactly how i feel whenever someone in my household pisses me off. i hate this feeling honestly, but i don't have an authority over it since i am built that way. the only thing to escape this puta is to entirely leave these fuckers... i need to start a garden... by means of it tho it's like a new identity summoning unto me like snake skin shedding into an untouched scales.

anyways! might gather my shit together since i have no one but my self these days (jk since the day you were born fool!) right hehe bye am gonna study bom.

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i feel so feelingless these days please just look me in my face tell me everything's okay i made a mistake i never be like you stop it good lawd these puta areeee consumingggg meee BIG TIME ... hays i miss you pls idk how to compose a perfect symphony of words to express what i actually feel it's like a mosaic of lonely slash longing slash regret fawk miss na kita teh and i don't know what to do about it like kapag sa iba ano... sobrang dali ko sabihin na madali lang ulit mag reach out like “it's never that serious” but for me like ano sa situation itself couldn't like why would i #pridemonth

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longing is a denial in egypt

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i wanna fawking reach out to you i wanna send you some comfort to whatever burden you are feeling right now i wanna reconnect i wanna forget i wanna kill myself in front of you if that'll be the only thing to define what i am feeling right now... i'm sorry (⁠^⁠.⁠_⁠.⁠^⁠)⁠ﾉ

how i wish i could rewind what has happened three years ago but i fear it'll change nothing cause of her

anyways happy birthday! how do i fix it? can we talk? can we communicate? do i wanna fix it? i'm afraid of you, is it my fault? do you miss me? 🤡 peri@ THE PLATYPUS... remember? i regret, but i remember... we were something don't you think so???? tf i would know??? i have questions for you. lmao ka girl why are you haunting me baddd is it relevant for #our future if magkakaroon pa? pls give me a sign i swear

do you ever think of me? the past 365 days thrice? i was fooled by you... are you aware of it? we were too young but who knows? what if we would pull a past lives (2023) sooner???? PLS I NEED YOU TO DREAM OF ME AND REACH OUT. hello? senti muna ako bye.

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taeng emotional support milf to oh i was literally like literallyyy stalking her til past 3 kaninang madaling araw and you're telling me that i'm about to wake up sa message niya?! omagah what if she's lurking tew and saw my rants and putas and decided to message me NAURRR bye anyways bigla ako ginanahan sa lahat cause darating na yung families from fadersu so imma start cleaning da house CAUSE I LOVE T.A.

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hiii ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

lmao so yeah idk why i had to feel melancholia to curate the perfect word of what i actually feel after getting home from a christmas vacation in bicol but anyways here i am… i made it! therefore i write and feel shits cause i am longing for someone… i once mentioned her here and ffs everytime i am meeting her, the saying goodbye and shits hits different for no reason at all (or was there?) aight yeah i am like sooo attached to “t.a.” emotionallyyy i can't explain now i am stalking her social/s and woah how i wish i was her husband aka my tito ijbol but whatever i fear i won't ever stop simping over her til the day i die uh yeahhh why am i sooo attracted to women especially to those who have an intimidating eye features like sawry it's not my fault right???? i wish i could kiss her to be honest but that'll never happen cause like yeah

STORYTIME: i remember one time when i was in my 7th grade, the first time i felt #something between my arms and hers… i remember it was december of 2016, right after we went in laguna to celebrate ofc christmas (we joined the trend mannequin challenge as i remember) but yeahhh the HUG! we hugged on the garage in tita baby's house and i swear i felt a thing that i wasn't supposed to feel cause wtf we're like connected by blood indirectly but likeee yeah i felt like i only feel that cause i was having the fattest crush on my english teacher that time and like idk imagined her as mcpe?! probably but yeah after that, we like gathered once again on my lola's 60th but it's like 4 months after that already (may 2017) and yeah we travelled to manila (vikings, star city, hot springs) anddd like okay i remember the time on star city, i literally gone distant from her like she intimidates me in ways i can't explain 😭 (ps. she resembles jessica henwick btw or at least gives off the same aura) but anyways yeah i am so down bad for herrr i wish she was real hays… anyways that's when shit hit the fan and i've been the same around her since but like it went worse when i met her again for the first time last december 2021 like if you ask me where am i the day they're about to leave our house???? i rot on my parent's bed all dayyy cause like this detachment puta isn't helping me am crying but like yeah I WISH I COULD JUST LIKE MARRY HER and yeah again that will never happen unfortzzz huhu

okay so recently i fear she felt the same and istg this ain't delusions like she be reacting messages about me on our family gc and woah don't get me started when she added 143 on her birthday message to me???? she never does that to anyone plsss she wants me so baddd so back at it… our gathering begins last week (december 23) but like first, they went on our hotel and damn she deadass pointed out my face first like “gumaganda ka” typa compliment orrr wait i forgot but something like that T-T blooming? idkkk for youuu <3 HAH huhu numabayan kasi but anyways i wish i could kiss her like kiss-kiss herrr but anyways! naalala ko bigla yung sinabi ko sa acceptance letter ko huhu like it made me discover my identity? gawin ko lang ba sila na inspiration or like moodboard kumbaga 😭 i have no idea still but anyways ayun nga i regret how i kind of wasted the moment we supposed to have a face to face talk (about mission cause we both share the same root aka visitor's center) but yeah my gay panic enjoyer ass always wins and i hate it i should've act normally around her like a niece or something but instead i maladaptive daydream about the possibility of US that will never happen hays i should've seized the moment cause that'll be the last time i could ever spend my time with her as a milf dependent young adult huhu but anyways she had a pretty memorable conversation with my papa and i overheard her on the kitchen saying “gusto niya yung may iyak” and i am sooo sure na they're talking about my call reading cause what else huhu even me myself haven't seen it yet but whatever i had a glimpse of it (papa's phone on her hands) with tito milo watching and yeah it's canon buttt whatever right? atleast she gaf about me haha tae uhaw sa attention okay yeah this is lagging kinda but would it stop me from typing thots? who knows ^_^

later tonight i swear i am going to back read our family gc cause why didn't i appreciate her back thennn (2018-2020) like damn she literally had to give me a ride from manila to our house just for my research on ninth grade? i love and appreciate her i wish she has an idea… yeah i still long for her presence but it'll pass (tho deep inside i'm like still hoping for another reunion before i leave this march or like they go with my fam in airport to witness me leave for my mission) haysss i love you forever t.a. ♡

[user811411259]

title? 🤨

right hehe nasa tumblr for chrome lang ako or kung ano man tawag dito cause i just realized na yung un ko dito is the same as my users sa iba kong account now what if they saw these? like all my blogs here????? so ni-review ko isa isa haha btw ayon atm thots ulet kasi wala na akong ibang magawa aside sa paghuhugas ng pinggan after kumain ni haui ng pancit canton mamaya... right i am currently thinking about my hyperfixations lately, should i cut them off already kasi magmi-mission na ako? huhu frrr like i am attached to niamh mccormack today or these days likeee huhu eh 3 months nalang yung remaining ko to be chronically online to literally brag about her name to my oomfs like would i ever survive it?... also i've also thought about the future at kung kanino pa ako #simp like i genuinely would never believe the current me and her having an emotional attachment to an actress like i thot wala na over na sa phase ko na ganon etc etccc like sino paaa i wonder huhu (shems what if ma-refresh to tas nawala lang ulit yung pinagsusulat ko stfu omg) yes kinakabahan na ako cause nagla-lag na siya uh imma post it now bye T-T

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this is me trying not to shed a single tear cause these putas never learn like seriously the tradition kept on going kung ganyan kayo haha like stfu kung iisipin niyo lagi na yung mas bata yung mag-humble sainyo like seriously that receptive behavior is disgusting af y'all never even acknowledged my side and simply called it “topak” ???? fuck off pero i guess that would never happen haha anyways someday, i'm going to swear in my life that i'll be releasing all these shits... SOMEDAY 🖕🏼 (if i'm still alive tho) anyways ito ulet sila back to reality ako yung problema ako yung mali ako yung may defect ako yung privileged spoiled rat eldest daughter like yeah sorry i apologize wala kayo pagkululang hindi kayo insensitive perfect kayo <333

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oh fuck off honestly XD