Mason Mount x Reader
Fluff
Word Count: 5.3K
Italics: flashbacks
SURPRISE I’m back :)
After I made you suffer a little too much with my lates fics, this is my way of apologising for the emotional rollercoasters.
@mountttmase thank you for your help with the header, my love xx
As always, feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy <3
Mason was perched on the edge of the bed, dressed in joggers and a matching hoodie, when you entered the uninviting hospital room and the first thing you noticed was his messy hair. Some strands sticking up, some other flat to his head. He looked adorable. His slightly tired eyes lit up when you came into sight, the bright smile washing over his face making your heart trip.
“y/n!”, he exclaimed happily, reaching his arms out for you and although it hadn’t been long, you’d missed him like crazy. “Hi Mase.” You walked up to him and let him wrap you into a warm hug, careful not to disturb his healing body. “You’re okay, love?”
When you cupped his cheek, Mason nuzzled into your palm, looking for the comfort only you could provide him with. “Still tired.”, he admitted, and you could tell by the dark shadows under his eyes. You gently ran your thumb over the soft skin as you watched his eyes fall shut momentarily. Knowing him, he’d probably not slept much last night. He never did when he was somewhere other than your shared house. Just like you. “Let’s get you home then.”
Under his half-hearted protest, you grabbed his overnight bag and swung it over your shoulder. “Yeah, no. There’s no way I’m letting you carry this after you’ve just had surgery, Mase. You have to take it slow.”
Mason huffed quietly, already annoyed at having to be treated like a raw egg for the next couple of days, but he knew that if he wanted to be back on the pitch soon, he’d have to be careful. “You’re right. Thank you for picking me up.”
summary: you’re obsessed with how phil’s touches make you feel.
warnings: not much dialogue.
Phil could never be damned; not with the infectious smile that he couldn’t resist pulling when you were near, pearly whites that proved angels walked among us—him being one of them. You felt bound to him, completely, as if you’d been bewitched and filled with nothing but overt adoration for him. He didn’t have to say a word, just look at you and touch you with such a softness that would linger hours after, and you’d fall even deeper.
“You look beautiful,” Phil murmured in your ear as his arms wrapped around your waist. His hands laid on the small of your back, fingertips rubbing against the thin material of your shirt. Shivers sent down your spine, only pushing you closer into the comfort of his chest as a result, and you had almost purred at the satisfying sensation of goosebumps rising onto your skin.
Your chin laid on his chest as you looked up at him, electrified by his gaze. The warmth that not only spread along the apples of your cheeks but your entirely body was nothing new and yet still, that fuzzy feeling never left. His hands went underneath your shirt, brushing long strokes against your back and he smirked gently at your coy expression.
Phil knew that you loved to be touched and doted on, as if it were a good scratch that itched, and it was fitting for him because he never wanted to take his hands off of you either. It was completely unanimous that his hands were just made for you: made to touch you and love you, to feel you—and it helped that his hands fit so perfectly in yours.
His rosy lips peppered kisses alongside your cheek, nuzzling his nose against your face as he pecked you lovingly until he reached your nose and did the same. He loved your hums of content, the vibrations of it imitating how the two of you felt inside: a buzzing obsession you felt for him, pulling him closer to your face one more as you pressed a kiss against his lips this time.
I missed you guysssss..... finally logged back into my account after 2 months and began typing & I'm so happy!!!! I am sorry for the absent, uni and my personal life has been a living hell but I am back for now to speak and write to all you lovely lot... which I've just now discovered I now have 2,000 followers! Thank you soooooooo much I really can't believe it
This one isn't the best as I'm a little rusty but I think it's a good opener for a new series I am going to write! Currently it's called 'enough for you' however this might change the more I write of it! The next part will be uploaded tomorrow but for now feel free to fill my inbox with 'hello's' and questions as I missed you all sooooooooo much! Enjoy 💕
Summary- After your dad, frank lampard, gets assigned to manage his old team again and wants you to join him as the head counsellor, your mind fills with dread and flashbacks of a possible reunion with your ex...
“Theres no way…” You whispered, staring at your father in disbelief as he spoke the words that you thought you’d never hear again “Your managing Chelsea… again”.
“Only for the rest of the season, it’s nothing permanent yet” You could hear his own surprise in his voice, as if he too couldn’t believe what he was saying. “But it went awful last time” You gasped “Why would they want you back?”
“Cheers kiddo, I needed that confidence boost…” rolling his eyes he came closer to you, ruffling your hair slightly before walking pass you towards the kitchen.
“I didn’t mean it like that dad” You sighed, following him “They just treated you so badly last time… is it worth it?” It’s not that you didn’t want your dad to go back into managing his old team, of course you wanted him too! Goosebumps rose on your own arms just thinking about Frank Lampard’s, your dads, big return to Stamford bridge. But the excitement fades away quickly once you the memories of last time flood in your mind.
The headline that he left…
The face he made when he got the call…
The hours and hours he spent preparing to head HR to fight a losing battle…
Seeing the nervousness in your eyes, he wrapped his arms around you “Theres no need to panic, eh? It’s a couple of weeks that’s all… they need me”.
Sighing, you knew that he was right. You didn’t have to live under a rock to know how poor Chelsea was at the minute. “I suppose you couldn’t make them any worst than they are…” You giggled, a smirk on your face as you pulled away from the hug, his laugh echoing across the marble walls of the kitchen “That’s the spirit! Now let’s get a glass of wine to celebrate our return!”
Just as you were about to grab the glasses, you froze “Our return…”
“Yeah, that’s the thing…” Your dad spoke hesitantly “The board had asked if you’d also come back as the head of the wellbeing team. All the players and staff have been going through a rough time and really need a team on site to help… that’s why they need you!”
Working for Chelsea was the first job you had ever gotten when you graduated from university with a counselling degree. It obviously helped that your dad was the manager of the team, however every loved having you around and you loved being there. But when your dad got fired from the team in such a cruel way and the management of the team collapsing, there was no way that you were going to stay… so you left with him… despite everything you were leaving behind… despite leaving him!
“No way dad!” You quickly rejected, placing the glasses back down as you headed back into the living room “I am happy for you, I really am! But I’m not going back!”
“Why not?”
“I have a job!”
“You can leave it” He pushed, causing your eyes to widen “I can’t just leave my job dad! What am I supposed to say, ‘sorry guys I’m going to work with my dad for a few weeks and then I’ll return when they throw us away again’”.
“They never asked you to go” Your dad interjected. It was true, if anything the team wanted you to stay more than Frank!
“They wanted you to leave… so I did too! End of!”
“(y/n) …” Frank spoke hesitantly “This isn’t about Mason, is it?”
You didn’t realise your body could go more into shock than before until he spoke his name. The name that at one point caused your heart to burst into a thousand butterflies, but now makes it shatter into a million shards of glass that was impossible to piece together again…
“No” You spoke just above a whisper, trying to convince not only your dad but yourself. It wasn’t a secret that you were once in love with Chelsea’s number 19… to the public it might have been but to everyone in your life it was clear to see the effect that his presence had on you, and even now almost 2 years later remains on you! You were perfect together, the mix of your existences together had meaning, a love so strong that it could be seen a mile away… that was until he broke your heart.
“Don’t lie to me (y/n)” Frank sighed “Why else wouldn’t you come back?”
“Why do you even care about that?” You exploded, anger tracing in your veins “You hated us together… it was one of the reasons he broke up with me!”
Flashback
“What do you mean you can’t do this anymore?” You breathed out, looking over to him as he placed his hands over his face in anger, sitting on the edge of the sofa. What was supposed to be a night enjoying watching your boyfriend play in one of the toughest tournaments in football, turned into a surprisingly sour one. The second you returned home from the win, Mason turned bitter, his face scrunched together in thought as he refused to acknowledge your presence. “You won Mase… I don’t what is wro-“
“We’re wrong!” he screamed back, standing up from the sofa as he turned to face you “It’s not about the game… It’s about us!”
“Mason I don’t know what you mean?!?” you shouted back, confusion etched in your voice as he huffed “Us, (y/n) … it shouldn’t be happening it can’t happen!”
“We’ve been together for months Mason! Why now?”
“People are going to find out about us and then what? I’m just the player who got in the team cause he’s shagging his managers daughter!”
“Who cares what they say?!” You pushed “Who gives a fuck? I’m happy, your happy… my dad’s okay with it!”
“Oh please!” He laughed sarcastically as you raised your eyebrows in confusion “Your dad hates us together and you know it!”
“He did at first but not anymore” You tried to convince him, knowing that it did indeed take your dad awhile to warm to the idea “He accepts us Mason… so what’s this really about because I know what you are saying is full of shit!”
Mason turned back around, not wanting you to see any more of the cracks showing “I’m telling the truth (y/n)!”
“No. Your. Not.” You said, voice getting angrier and angrier “You wouldn’t do this now, you wouldn’t end us over something so simple… so easy to fix! So what is it?”
“I CHEATED OKAY!” he shouted back, causing your heart to stop. “Your lying…” You mumbled, shaking your head as you refused to let the tears go “Your lying… you’d ne-never do th-that to me… with who?”
“Does it matter?” He sighed, pulling his hair as he glanced over to what once was your happy figure, but is now destroyed. “Yes it does…” You whispered, a tear ruining down your cheek against your will “of course it does, so with who?”
“Just a girl at the club” he spoke with no emotion “I got drunk, she was there, it happened”
“Why?”
“Why what?” He tutted “Why did I fuck her? Like I just said, we got drunk she was there, you wasn’t it’s that easy-“
“No… not that” You stopped him, not wanting to hear anymore “Why wasn’t I good enough for you?”
Your words caused him to freeze as he stopped his pacing, and for a moment you could of sworn you seen the cracks to yet another lie but of course it was hidden quicker than it was seen “You know what they say… the game is the game, and sometimes your just not good enough to play!”
His words caused your body to tense up like you just got a million paper cuts, you wanted to push him… to fight him… to prove that the crack you seen was a lie, a doubt… but why would you, when the man you loved, the man you thought was your haven, just told you that you weren’t good enough.
Without another word, you nodded, walking past him to collect your belongings. Only once you were past him did you let the tears run…
“Mason?” You whispered, needing to say one more thing to him before you left
“Yes…” You didn’t look at him when he replied but you knew he was crying… but why?
“Thank you for letting me play the game with you…” and with that you left… one of you hoping to see the other one again while the other one prayed.
End of flashback
A shiver ran down your back as you remembered the horrid memory, but it was brushed off as your dad began to speak again “I didn’t hate you together!” He protested, sitting beside you on the couch “Did I hate the idea of my oldest child falling in love? Yes. Did I hate the idea that one of my best players was seeing my daughter behind my back? Of course.”
“dad…” You tried to stop him, but he obviously ignored you.
“But did I hate seeing my daughter so happy? No.” tears streamed down your face as he spoke the truthful words “I know it hurt you. The hiding… the breakup… the secrecy. But that’s what love is, and deep down I know he really did love you.”
“Then why did break up with me then?” you sniffled “If he really loved me that much then why?”
“That’s something we’ll never know unless you speak to him.”
Of course you didn’t tell your dad he cheated on you, although after the reveal you couldn’t stand to even look at him, your love overpowered the hatred of ruining his relationship with your dad and his chances of remaining in the first team.
“I’m not seeing him dad… no matter what I’m not facing him again” Your body went into reject mode at the idea of just seeing him, nevermind having a vulnerable conversation with him. “I’m not asking you too honey, he can be booked in with someone else and you’ll have your own office… but please come back with me? I need you”.
‘I need you’
The three words that held so much but little meaning. The three words that you held onto so tightly for so many years. The three words that you can never refuse.
“Fine…” You sighed, as your dads’ arms wrapped around you once more in celebration. “Thank you… thank you… thank you! The teams going to be so happy…”
“You don’t have to thank me, I’d do anything for you and you know that” You chuckled, getting off the couch to collect the glasses you put down a lifetime ago “but dad?”
“Yes?”
“You make sure Mason Mount stays the hell away from me!”
JOHN STONES and EDERSON celebrate their teams first goal during the UEFA Champions League quarterfinal second leg match between FC Bayern München and Manchester City at Allianz Arena on April 19, 2023 in Munich, Germany. (Photos by Roland Krivec)
The soft cries of your youngest son suffused the house as you turned over, coming face to face with a smiling Jude.
“It’s your turn.” Jude immediately spoke, earning a groan from you as you slowly got up, hearing his small laughs behind you instantly stop the moment you sent a glare his way.
Soon stepping into your son's room, you saw him standing up in his cot, a cute smile growing on his face as you came into sight. You swiftly walk over to him, wrap him into your arms bringing him over to the chair in the corner of the room.
You gently sat down, your son already half asleep in your arms as you began to rock backwards and forwards, slowly starting to doze off yourself.
The sudden creek of the door caused you to stur as you turned to see Jude at the door.
He smiled lightly at you, to which you returned, before a sudden small head popped out, a smile beaming on the young girls face.
“She wanted to come see you.” Jude whispered as you nodded before patting the empty space next to you, inviting the two over.
They both walked up quickly, almost as if they were fighting each other off for the seat, before Jude immediately landed on the seat next to you, your daughter quickly climbing on top of him as you gently patted her head.
“Did you sleep well?” You asked the young girl as she quickly nodded her head, a smile soon growing on your face before leaning your head on Jude’s shoulder.
“And how about my husband?”
“You were warm last night.” Jude mumbled before leaning his head onto yours, causing a small chuckle to leave your mouth, reminiscing the cuddle session you had, before light snores began to fill the room, leaving only you to be awake.
You sigh softly, thinking happily about what you have achieved in life so far, a great job, a lovely husband, and 2 beautiful children, you just couldn’t wait to see what the future would hold.
You woke up lying on your back, an arm draped over your stomach protectively holding you close. Turning your head you see your deep asleep shirtless boyfriend resting next to you on his stomach facing you. You smile admiring Judes face, his beautiful eyelashes cute nose and full lips, also his sharp jawline. his eyes closed and his mouth slightly opened breathing. God how cute did he look sleeping. Tearing your eyes away from him you turned your head glancing at the clock on your bedside table.
5am it read. Fuck. Realising how late at night it was and the cause of you waking up was your grumbling stomach. You huffed out an annoyed breath. Pulling Jude’s muscular arm off of your body and walking into your kitchen searching for something to eat. You found the leftover Pizza that you had ordered in tonight as you put it in the microwave warming it up.
You were waiting for the microwave to be finished when you felt two strong arms slithering around your waist as a face nuzzled in to the crook of your neck.
„Why’d you leave me“ you heard the deep and raspy voice of Jude, that send shivers down your spine
„I‘m sorry love I was just hungry“ you mumbled rubbing his arms, that were slung around you gently, slightly comforting him.
„Mhmm“ he hummed nesting his head further in your neck. The heat of Judes shirtless chest radiating on your back making you lean into his touch. He left a trail of kisses on your neck making the butterflies go crazy in your stomach.
„I missed you next to me“ he whispered into your ear. You smiled thinking about your clingy boyfriend. Standing there for a while in Judes comfort until the microwave was done. You ate the pizza also in the same position. The moment you were done Jude dragged you by your arm back in your bedroom, leading you under the covers as he pulled you close to him snuggling his head into your chest. Your body was pressed against his tightly, all cuddled up you fell asleep in his arms, full comfortable and happy.
summary: after breaking up years ago to move abroad for university, you find yourself reuniting with marcus at your twin brother's wedding week. after your constant move from country to country and his flourishing football career, is there still something between you two or are those days now of the past?
a/n: this story features a nameless desi OC and everything desi that comes with the wedding season. also my first-ever banner :D i think it looks not too bad. ill get better at it don't you worry. i hope you all like this. if you would like to be tagged, please let me know. you may reply to this post, send me an ask or a dm, however comfortable. we are upping the production value from here on out🥳
chapter 1 | 2nd April 2023 (subject to change because i suck🤍)
can u please write something abt stealing jude’s hoodies or just wearing his clothes in general 🫠
this has been in my inbox since DECEMBER and i was clearing it out so i just thought i’d post a little something since i’ve had a lot of people ask
this is kinda short and shit but anyway <3
it had become a somewhat subconscious habit at this point. reaching into jude's wardrobe, fingers automatically finding a piece of clothing that was definitely his, whether it be a shirt, a hoodie, sometimes even a pair of his joggers, and slipping it on without even a seconds thought. you'd stopped asking forever ago, had simply adopted the attitude that his clothes were yours so much so that now you sometimes did forget which things didn't belong to you.
not that jude minded, there was nothing he adored more than seeing you kitted out in his things. his tummy turned to mush and the smile on his face almost hurt whenever he spotted you in one of his hoodies, finger tips just peaking out from the sleeves. he liked it even more when you worked the hoodie he was already wearing, off him, fingers tugging at the hem, pulling and giggling until he was slipping it over his head. before he even had the chance to get excited you were undressing him for other reasons, you were pulling it on yourself, head popping out from the hole with that devious grin, chin tipping down so you could tuck your nose away in the collar and breathe him in.
"how do you keep them so soft?" jude would roll his eyes, arms wrapping around you to pull you into his chest, defeated to the fact he'd most likely lose the hoodie for a while. he'd get it back eventually, when it had lost his scent and it's softness, when you found something else of his you liked more and then the cycle would continue.
your tendency to never wear your own things meant jude wasn't at all surprised when you met him at the airport after his flight back to dortmund, your entire outfit one he was certain he'd wore only days before leaving you. he knew for sure the blue hoodie was his, it was relatively new and he distinctly remembered your chastising tone over how much it had cost. the joggers too he was certain belonged in his drawer, grey and a little washed out, rolled a few times at your ankles to make them fit. despite the distance still between you he had a sneaky feeling that the blue socks on your feet were his too, his head shaking as his lips tilted into a smile.
it was almost 3am and he could tell you were tired, face soft and a little clouded with sleep as though you'd not long since woke up, your body bouncing lazily on the balls of your feet. you hadn't spotted him yet, too busy watching a family reunite with their dad, a hand written card most definitely done by the two little boys being waved in the air.
"you've never shown up with one of those for me." his voice startled you, your look of shock turning quickly to a grin, eyes lighting up as the sleepy expression cleared instantly. you practically launched yourself at him, arms around his neck, face tucked away against his throat and his soft "umph" of surprise vibrated through you. a giggled apology was pressed into his skin, lips warm and comforting. "missed me?"
"maybe just a little." jude dropped his bag to the floor beside you so he could wind his arms around your waist, his head turning so he could press a kiss to the side of yours. he grinned into your hair.
"only a little?"
"mhm."
"you sure? because i'm kind of thinking you've tried to clone me." you untucked your face from the crook of his neck, head tilted back to meet his gaze, brows drawn together in confusion. one of his hands came up and tugged at the drawstring of the hoodie you were wearing, his smirk growing. "i'm sure this belongs to me."
you glanced down, brows smoothing over, lips parting and jude was certain you hadn't even realised what exactly you were wearing. he brushed his fingertips beneath the waistband of the joggers, blew out a breathy laugh when your eyes snapped back to his. "these as well are from my drawer and i'm sure those are a pair of socks your nan got me for christmas." you shuffled your feet and sent him a sheepish smile.
"they're the first things i grabbed."
"yeah?"
"i didn't even realise."
"i think you just missed me too much."
"they were at the top of the laundry pile."
"you can admit it, don't go all shy on me, baby." jude watched your eye roll and grinned, dipped his head to kiss you for the first time, soft and sweet before nudging your nose. his smile only grew wider when you tried to chase his mouth for more, lips turning pouty when he dodged your attempted kisses. "i bet you've raided my entire wardrobe haven't you?"
“have not.”
“what’re you wearing under these?” again the very tips on his fingers dipped into the back of your joggers and he watched your nose scrunch adorably, gaze shifting away from his. you dropped your arms from around his neck and instead pushed them around his waist, pressing into him until your chin was pressed into the front of his shirt. jude grinned and switched positions with you, his arms resting loose over your shoulders.
“your clothes are so much comfier than mine.”
“you’re lucky you’re pretty.” he cupped your jaw, ducked down and tilted your mouth up to slot softly over his. he kissed you slow, languid drags of his lips against yours until the both of you were breathless. he kissed the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, the tip of your nose, forehead last before grinning. he pulled the hood up over your head and twisted the drawstrings around fingers, pulled tight until your face was hidden behind the material.
you groaned loudly, swatted at his chest when he again kissed your nose through the little gap.
“you’re also lucky i think it’s cute when you wear my clothes otherwise you’d owe me thousands for theft.”
love, devotion and everything in between - a blue drink oneshot
Jude Bellingham x Reader (Uni AU)
summary: 3 simple words that carry the weight of the world that you almost say to him countless times and then the one time you do.
word count: 4.2k
warnings: slight language but thats it. this is just fluff.
a/n: ughh i love writing for these two so much. I'm really out here missing them too shoot. blue drink couple, you will always be my favs. one last time for them♡
The hazy look that was occupying Jude’s eyes had not gone amiss, gaze fixed on your lips as he gently swayed back and forth, nodding along to your words, adding in hums of agreement to seem as though he was actively listening. And it’s not like you were recounting a boring story, no. You were telling him a funny story involving your friend Emma, a pizza box, a stray cat and a can of bug spray. Thankfully he had not noticed the slight stumble in your voice, his stare clearly distracting you, heating your cheeks.
But you managed to carry on somehow like the brave soldier you were, shifting your eyes repeatedly towards the green grass with the light sheen bouncing off the sunlight. It was a bit early in the day, you had to admit, too early for a Saturday anyways. But Jude had asked you to accompany him to the training ground, spend some time with him before practice after not really having seen each other that week.
You had let out a loud laugh when Jude had guided you towards the same bleachers where the infamous incident that had brought you two together had taken place, a cheeky grin plastered on his face. He had taken the water bottle from your hand that you were carrying and kept it well far from you, citing how there was no need for a repeat of events now that you already had him. Gotta make sure no one’s making any moves around my girl, he had said prompting you to slap his shoulder.
You were sure now that Jude was no longer listening to you, having abandoned his very weak attempts of convincing you that he was, instead lost in his very easy to read thoughts. “Jude? Are you listening?” You poked his cheek.
“Hmm!?” Jude snapped his eyes up to yours, making eye contact with you after what seemed like ages. “What going on?”
“Did you hear what I said?” You asked, amusement evident on your face.
“Uh,” Jude hesitated, face scrunching up in thought, “Something about a professor extending the deadline?”
You snorted. He wasn’t wrong, you had said that but it was well over ten minutes ago that you had told him that piece of information. You saw him lean forward, eyes back on your lips trying to capture them with his as you ducked your head with a sigh missing the look of disappointment that had flashed across Jude’s face. Fighting the smile on your face, you peaked up to see Jude scratching his chin.
“Okay no hang on.” He poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “Was it something about…your brother?”
You pursed your lips, giving him the are-you-serious-right-now look. “Just say you weren’t listening!”
“Alright fine!” Jude gave up, once again leaning forward to try again, “I was not listening.”
“Wow,” You dragged out, tilting your head backward, getting further from his reach with a twinkle in your eyes. “And here I thought you wanted to spend some time with me.”
“What are you doing?” Jude abruptly asked, slight annoyance in his tone as he took in the distance between him and you.
“What?” You feigned innocence, batting your eyelashes.
Jude slipped his hand to the back of your neck, thumb gentle against your cheek as he pulled you in, finally connecting his lips with yours. Smiling into the kiss, you grabbed the collar of his jacket to steady yourself, feeling a swarm of butterflies burst in your chest as you melted against his soft hold. Breaking apart, Jude nuzzled the side of your face, leaving small pecks on the corner of your lips as you let out a soft sigh.
“God you are so annoying,” Jude mumbled against your skin.
“Well you weren’t listening to my story,” You whispered back, trying and failing to maintain a hint of annoyance.
“You can’t blame me.” Jude grazed his lips against yours. “You drive me insane.”
Feeling your cheeks light up, you swallowed back your words as Jude closed the distance once again. The two of you almost lulled back into your own word before the sharp blow of a whistle caused the two of you to jump apart, Jude looking indignantly at the source of the noise as you buried your face into his neck in embarrassment.
“Training’s starting! Stop snogging your girl!” You heard someone yell.
Jude rubbed your shoulders, lifting your face from his neck as he began to get up, slight guilt etched on his face, “Sorry, love. I promise I’ll make it up to you and listen properly after training!”
“Don’t worry about it, go.”
Jude gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before he bounded away towards the field, turning around as he cupped his hand around his mouth, “I’ll see you after, yeah?”
Giving him a thumbs up, you nodded. “Yep! Be safe, I lo-” You bit your tongue just in time as you registered what you were about to say, feeling your brain come to a skidding halt. “I- I’ll see you!”
You hoped he couldn’t hear the pounding of your heart from all the way down there, as he gave you a smile, spun around and began to jog away. Clearing your throat, you looked around in panic, terrified as though the wind had heard what you said and would carry your words to Jude. You chewed on your bottom lip as you bent down to grab your water bottle, heart still racing in your chest. What the hell was that?
---
It seemed the world had an agenda. And that was to throw any and all inconvenience your way.
It had begun last night, the light scratch in your throat indicative that your health was acting up, a sign that you chose to ignore as you drank some water and went to bed hoping that it would be cleared up by morning. Come morning, it was anything but.
The first thing you felt was how much worse your throat had gotten, feeling drier than the Sahara Desert, every swallow of your spit serving as a reminder of your condition. Then came your nose, one side blocked and dry whilst the other was flowing like fresh spring in the mountains as your forehead felt like the surface of the sun. It was a nice collection of topographical features that you had managed to accumulate on your face.
Mia had checked up on you, telling you firmly that no way in hell were you in any condition to be going out to attend classes. She had filled your water bottle, made you a light breakfast that she watched you eat all of it before pressing two tablets of aspirin in your palm as she left to attend her classes. Your fever had improved enough for you to trudge to the humble living room, crashing on the couch with the television playing some random show you had no idea about, providing some background noise in the quite dorm.
The thought of texting Jude and letting him know had crossed your mind. But you decided not to, too worried about him seeing you in this condition. The idea of it felt a bit embarrassing. What if he decided he no longer liked you seeing you with one foot in the grave and besides it was too early in the relationship for this type of stuff. If he asked to meet up, you would simply tell him that you were busy.
The grogginess came back as the last few bits of energy from your breakfast vanished, head beginning to ache as you tried to haul yourself up from the couch, blanket draped across your shoulders, to see if there was anything to eat, wishing for nothing more than a hot bowl of soup right now.
Halfway through to the kitchen, you heard a soft rap against the main door making you stop in your tracks. Confusion blossomed on your face as you stood there in your spot, eyeing the door suspiciously, failing to recognize the pattern of the knock. You don’t know how long you stood there before a second knock snapped you out of your daze, jolting you towards it. Displacing the lock from its place, you opened the door, squinting as the light poured in.
No sooner had you opened the door, you felt an arm go around your shoulder, gently pulling you against a strong chest as you recognized the familiar scent of fabric softener. You felt yourself relax against him, the headache ebbing away, nose not bothering you as much as it was before, throat feeling better as Jude gently walked you back in your dorm, softly shutting the door behind him with his foot. It took a few seconds but then it clicked. Jude was here. In your dorm room. With various tissues strewn around the place. With you looking like ten monster trucks had run over you.
You pulled away, taking a few steps back, wrapping the blanket around you tighter. “Jude!” You gasped, “What are you doing here?”
Jude stood still, blinking, with one arm still in the air, the other clutching a plastic bag. “Wow. No ‘Hi baby!’ ‘What a wonderful surprise!’ ‘I’m so happy to see you!’ but straight to ‘what are you doing here?”
You were not sure if it was the fever or his words which were warming up your cheeks. “No- sorry. I am glad to see you. I’m just-” You tried to fix your state a bit “-really surprised to see you.”
Putting his arm down, Jude eyed the state of the place, noticing the condition of the room but choosing not to say a word. He turned towards you, looking you up and down as he held up the plastic bag. “Mia told me you weren’t feeling good. I would have come sooner but I went to get you your favourite soup.”
You felt your heart melt a little. The place was over twenty minutes away from campus. “I am soooo happy to see you.”
Laughing at your comment, Jude shook his head as he placed the plastic bag on the little table. “Oh now you’re happy to see me. Here come and sit, I’ll get you a spoon.”
Still holding on to your blanket, you plopped down on the seat as Jude lifted the lid off the container containing the one and only thing you were craving. The scent of the various herbs and spices was enough to floor you, feeling better and better even though it was more superficial than physiological wellness. Jude reappeared with a spoon in his hand which he handed to you before taking a seat next to you.
You did not waste time setting to eat the soup with Jude slowly inching his hand towards your unoccupied one, intertwining his fingers with yours, rubbing circles in the back of your hand. His gaze was heavy, lips set in a way that seemed words had lined up against them, hesitant to leave. “I’m a little hurt.”
You stilled your hand, the sudden movement causing the soup to dribble from your spoon and onto the table. Glancing up at him, you saw him with a small smile, more sad than happy. Setting down your spoon, you took in a breath, sniffling. “Why?”
“I wish that you had told me instead of Mia telling me.”
“Maybe I was eventually going to.”
“Well were you?”
You bit your lip. “No.”
“Why not?” Jude sighed, pushing his chair closer to yours.
“I just didn’t want you seeing me like this,” You said in a small voice.
“Well if you’re worried about me not finding you cute just because of one stuffy nose then you have another thing coming,” Jude said, shaking your joined hand a little to make you look at him. “I want you to tell me things, remember? I meant when I said that.”
Nodding, you shifted your eyes from him, feeling too vulnerable all of a sudden, “Okay.”
He pressed his lips against your temple as he got up from his chair. “Okay! You eat, I’ll clean up around here.”
“What no!” You said, gesturing him to sit down with your spoon. “Just sit, Judie. You don’t have to.”
“True,” He agreed, rolling up his sleeves, “But I want to. Eat your soup please, my love. I want you well as soon as possible.”
Deciding against arguing with him that you know he’ll win, you decided to let up. You looked down at the steaming liquid, almost tearing up at the sight, your stomach twisting in knots as the fact that Jude had made the effort of travelling out of campus to get it for you. You had mentioned your love for this specific dish only once and that too so casually, still in disbelief that he remembered something so obscure about you. Sighing at the soup warming you up, you hummed, feeling in a trance-like state. “I love you.”
“Hmm?” Jude asked in a distracted voice, lifting his head up from behind the sofa. “You said something?”
“Uh,” You froze, feeling panic rise in the back of your throat like bile as you struggled to get your thoughts together, spitting out whatever words came into your mouth, “I said I can’t stand you!”
Jude smirked. “Oh really?” He got up, trashing the bag filled with your used tissues as he sauntered over to where you were sat, placing one hand on the back of your chair as he leaned in close to your face, hot breath tickling your eyelashes. “That’s not what you said two nights ago.”
You reeled your head back in, opening and closing your mouth with no words coming out, feeling abashed as Jude held eye contact with you, not backing down. He chuckled seeing your flustered form, inching closer to you, his words ghosting your lips. “Hmm, all that sharp tongue falls flat a little too consistently when I have you like this huh?”
“Okay lover boy,” You laughed nervously, pushing his face away with the palm of your hand. “Let me enjoy my soup in peace.”
Kissing the palm of your hand, Jude shrugged his shoulders, plopping down on the seat next to you. “Okay, I’ll let you win this time cause you are sick. Not gonna be letting you off the hook so easily next time.”
---
“Love why don’t you come and sit down next to me?” Jude pleaded with you, watching as you paced in front of him with your bottom lip stuck between your teeth.
You weren’t sure how long you had been here in the infirmary, swallowing away any and all fear when you had sat in the waiting room, leg jiggling up and down in anxiety. Mere moments ago you had been in the stadium, occupying your usual spot with your friends, cheering on your university team, Jude’s jersey settled well on your shoulders, his number proudly displayed on your back.
Your team was leading by quite a margin, 3-0, causing a lot of heated disputes between the two teams including some rough tackles. It seemed like everyone was joining in on the festivities with the amount of yellow cards being distributed.
You had watched in horror when the ball had landed at Jude’s feet and he had taken off with it in the direction of the goal. It had not been long when a defender dove at him feet first at an alarming pace, taking Jude out as he rolled on the ground, clutching at his ankle with his face contorted in pain. You felt as though someone had ripped the ground from under your feet as you held your breath, watching as the medical staff ran onto the field.
You held back a sob as you saw the stretcher being brought in, putting a painful Jude on it and whisking him away. Not being able to hear or see anything else, you had almost ran down the steps towards the exit to reach the infirmary where you had sat for god knows how long, praying and hoping that Jude would be okay.
You had been let in the room where Jude was being kept in. You walked in gingerly, sniffling your nose at the sight of your boyfriend lying down on the bed, a cast over his injured ankle. Relief washed over Jude’s face upon seeing you enter, worry taking its place when your eyes began to water as you paced in front of him.
“Love?” He tried again, snapping you out of your state, making you look at him instead of his ankle. “Please?”
Wiping away your tears, you came to stand by his side gripping his hand tight, as you raked your eyes over his face, looking for any more injuries. You picked at his face, wiping away the blades of grass that were stuck underneath his eye. “Are you okay?”
He shook his head, “No. Hurts a lot. Probably looked worse though.”
“Yeah, it looked horrible,” You blubbered, doing your best to not let your emotions get the best of you. “Can I do something to help?”
“Lie down with me for a while?” He croaked out. Jude noticed your hesitation, your eyes glancing at his ankle again as he squeezed your hand. “You won’t hurt me any more than I already am.”
Hesitantly, you sat on the edge of the bed, slowly inching your entire form on the bed. Careful not to touch his ankle, you settled in his side, wincing slightly as Jude let out low groans in pain as Jude brought his arms around holding you close to him. You placed your head on his chest, hand held over his steady heart, finding some comfort in its steady rhythm.
Having him underneath you, smelling of sweat and grass, body heat radiating onto you, steadily calming down your anxiety. You were not an idiot, knowing fully well that Jude would be unable to walk properly without support for quite a few weeks. You took some solace in the fact that it was nothing too serious, letting your tears stain Jude’s shirt as you stopped holding back your bottled emotions. And it almost slipped from your lips again, the words you were consciously making an effort to hold back, scaring you more than anything else today.
Jude noticed your shuddering breaths as he began to tenderly run his fingers up and down your arm. “I’ll be okay, yeah? I’ve suffered worse.”
You nodded, swiping at your nose. “I know; I just hate seeing you like this.”
“Sorry for making you worry baby,” He mumbled.
“Don’t you be sorry,” You scolded. “If anything I have half a mind to go back to the field and tackle that asshole of a defender. The fuck was he defending huh? Your ankles are more precious than a single inch on his body.”
You felt him vibrate with laughter under you as he held you even closer to him. “I forgot how cute you get when you’re all riled up.”
“What? I’m serious! He better hope I don’t see him walking around.”
“Okay love,” Jude said softly, “I believe you.”
Silence befell between the two of you as you lay there in his arms, the words repeating in your head, still unable to bring them to your lips.
---
The night was cool with the stars littering the sky as yours and Jude’s laughter echoed across the wind. Hand held strongly in his as the two of you walked into the night after dinner and hours of enjoyable company. This was Jude’s least favourite part of the day; walking you home, always trying to find a way to delay it. Whether it was to take you across campus to show you something obscure or insisting on taking the long way.
“Okay this is me,” You said, turning back to face him as you checked for the keys in your pocket.
“You sure?” Jude asked, looking over his shoulder, “It’s not a thirty-minute walk in the other direction?”
You let out a low chuckle, dawdling on your feet as you stepped closer and further from him, “I’m sure.”
Humming in agreement, Jude pulled you in close, tipping your head up, pressing warm lips to the corner of your mouth. “See you tomorrow?”
“Yes,” You whispered, caressing his face with your hand, guiding his head to finally connect your lips with his, kissing him lazily as if time had stopped just for the two of you. He held you by the waist, fingertips slipping under your shirt as you felt warmth reach up to you from your toes. He pulled back, resting his forehead against yours, fondly taking in your flush face.
You turned around, almost jogging towards the dorm, afraid that if you spent any more time with him today, you would just not want to leave. Jiggling out your keys, you inserted them in the lock, glancing over your shoulder to where Jude was standing, patiently waiting for you to go inside and safely lock the door behind you, as you had done many times before.
But then you felt it. Again. The urge. The uncontrollable want and warmth in your chest that made you so dizzy, convinced that if you would not say it this time, you would burst. Taking the keys out, you turned on your feet and stood there, drinking every single detail about him and this night, etching it onto your memory so that you would never forget it. When you would later recall this moment, you would remember the soft breeze carrying the scent of a dozen flowers, the leaves rustling with the orchestra of crickets in the background. The slow thrum of your heartbeat as you watched Jude stand there, hands in the pockets of his giant coat, smiling widely with his eyes turned into little crescents, crinkling around the edges as he basked in the moonlight putting the moon to shame.
You took in a deep breath, feeling calmer than you had ever felt in your whole life. Jude raised one of his eyebrow, lifting his chin up in question looking a bit confused as to why you still had not gone in. You began to walk to him, closing the distance quick. He was waiting for you, immediately holding you close to him as your hands wound tight around his neck, his eyes brimming with concern.
“You say that you want me to tell you things, right?” You breathed out.
“Always.”
“Okay,” You gulped. “I love you.”
And you had said it. It was out there now for him to know. Jude had frozen up, eyes still intently looking into yours, not believing what his ears had heard. You felt his grip around you get tighter. “What?”
“I love you. I love you so much it was killing me not saying it to you. So yeah, that’s it. I love you.” You repeated.
The concern was wiped out from his eyes, replaced with a look you had never seen before, almost making you fold. Jude cupped your face, slamming his lips down on yours so hard that it nearly knocked the breath from your lungs. One hand still on the back of his neck, you held his cheek with the other, holding him still as you leaned on him heavily on your tip toes. You’ve always read about the phrase ‘being knocked off your feet’ never really understanding what it meant until today. There was so much happening in this kiss. Passion, lust, adoration, comfort, safety and above all else love.
You broke the kiss breathing each other in, sharing the same air as Jude’s eyes flickered between your lips and eyes, grinning wide, “I love you.”
You felt your heart skip a beat, overwhelmed with giddiness. “Really?”
“Really.” He pressed his lips to your cheek. “Truly.” Another kiss on your eyelid. “Deeply.”
Laughing in relief, you held his arm for support, “God I was so scared to tell you.”
“Is this why you would zone out whenever you’d be around me for the past few days?” Jude asked.
“It was noticeable!?”
Jude tilted his head, a goofy smile on his face, “You can’t hide from me, love.”
Burying your face in his chest, you breathed him in as he snuggled close to you, feeling a level of peace that you thought was unattainable.
“So,” Jude began, drumming his fingers on your back softly, “You sure your dorm isn’t thirty minutes in the opposite direction?”
You looked up at his face, weighing options as he looked at you intently. “You know what? You’re absolutely right. I don’t know what we’re doing here.” You began to walk away, tugging Jude behind you as he laughed, gripping your hand tight, having no intention of letting you go anytime soon.
summary: you thought university was going well until a certain football player decided to throw blue liquid all over your life. you've decided that you hate him but now all he does is test your resolve.
word count: 6.7k
warnings: language. anger ig and almost physically fighting someone, mia is tired with her friends bs. a kiss happens. slight mention of stalker behaviour.
a/n: after going through ten different wars, the final chapter is at long last out!! once again ily all for loving the story and ur interactions with it have been so so lovely. this is the most words I've written for a singular chapter which is insane because i do get impatient with my stories. anyways i hope you guys like it and that it was worth the wait. i also do not have the heart to edit this now, so if you see any inconsistencies, no you don't.
You would have been grateful if the burden of the four blankets and one weighted blanket you had laden on yourself with were enough to crush you underneath. Unfortunately for you, the suffocating darkness of your room together with the mountain of blankets were nowhere near the same amount of burden that Jude’s face engraved in your mind had proven to be. The pained expression in his eyes, downturn of his lips, the crease in his forehead that had deepened with every hit of your presumptuous words.
Sighing underneath the covers, you reached out for your phone again, the brightness making you squint in discomfort as you unlocked it for the thousandth time, the picture of Jude unveiling itself. You felt like you had memorized it by now. His eyes filled with glee, upturn of his lips revealing his gleaming teeth, no sign of any worry creases. You had hoped to transfix this image of him instead of the one that was currently doing circles in your head. It seemed not a single picture from his Instagram was up for the challenge, regardless of how many times you had scrolled through it.
But you kept coming back to this one particular post, memorizing it like a devotee with the scripture. You kept coming back to it because you realized that he had looked at you like this, something that you did not notice then. And now that it was missing from your life, you felt as though you had been abandoned in the depths of a dark pit without a ladder.
Groaning at the heavy sensation festering in your chest, you threw your phone away, burying yourself further underneath the covers. You did not know why you had said the things you did knowing well enough that he had done nothing to deserve the words that had left your mouth that day. That had been a manifestation of your own issues and insecurities; you owed him at least one chance to explain himself.
It was clear that Jude wanted to but you certainly not helped. And now would he want to see you? Hear from you? Talk to you? Or was it fully over, a pursuit that ended before it had even begun?
A knock came on your door, opening slightly as a worried Mia peered in, finally letting in some light. “Sweetie? Are you okay? You haven’t come out of the room since yesterday.”
Hearing no response from you, Mia walked into the room to where you lay under the covers, grabbing a fistful of fabric and pulling it back to reveal your form, curled up in a fetal position, eyes fully shut. “Okay what is going on with you?”
You opened your tired eyes to see a concerned Mia crouching down at your level. “What day is it?”
Mia sighed. “It’s Saturday.”
You hummed in response, having shut yourself in your shared dorm with your best friend since yesterday, knowing fully well you had no courage to face the world.
Mia fixed her palm to your forehead, checking to see if the delirium of your state had been caused by a fever, relieved to find nothing but still confused as to why you were behaving the way you were. Maybe the pressure of academics had finally cracked your mental state but she knew you, knew you well enough to know that this had nothing to do with your studies. No this was definitely something else.
“Did something happen? Or did you do something?” Mia tried again, eyebrows raised in question.
You waited a few seconds before responding, voice coming out barely above a whisper. “I said all those things to him Mia.”
“What things? Him who?”
“I don’t even know why I said what I did, he didn’t deserve that.” You bit your lip, the words that had left your mouth the other day echoing in your ears.
“What are you saying? I’m gonna need more context- oh for heaven’s sake! What is it now?” Mia said in an annoyed voice, unhappy at the loud banging noise that was pouring in from the main door.
You watched as your friend got up and made her way outside, yelling at whoever was at the other side of the door to calm down before they broke it as the loud, impatient banging continued. You heard the lock fall away, the twist of the doorknob and the squeak of the hinges that always occurs when the door opens or closes.
“Oh Liv hey-” You heard Mia speak.
“Where is she!? Is she in her room?” Olivia’s annoyed voice echoed in the whole dorm.
“Yeah, she’s in there. Hey woah! Where are you going!? What is happening?”
The door that had been left open slightly ajar burst fully open to reveal Olivia, her jaw clenched with a small cushion held tight in her grip. “You!” She yelled, nose flared as she launched the cushion towards your face.
Having zero time to react, the soft square connected right on your face as you let out yelp in surprise, more astonished at the sudden action than the non-existent pain. Throwing away the sheets, you sat up on your bed, irritation flooding your system.
“What the hell Olivia?! What are you doing?” You scowled.
“What am I doing!?” She snarled, “What are you doing?”
You got up from your bed, walking up to Olivia who was still staring daggers at you as Mia slid in your room, groaning at the sight of the two of you ready to wrestle out whatever the hell was going on. Mia was not sure what this whole thing was about, she needed to figure it out fast but before that she needed to make sure that her two friends did not end up knocking each other’s head off.
She clambered over as quick as she could, wedging herself between her two hot headed friends, as she pushed you back with the palm of her hands back to your bed.
“Let me go Mia!” You protested, trying your best to fight against her strong grip.
“Absolutely the hell not!” Mia grunted as she struggled with your fighting form. “I’m not having this place turn into a hell house!”
Pushing you down on the bed, Mia whirled around to face Olivia who gave her an incredulous look.
“What?” Olivia shot at her.
“You can’t just burst into someone’s room and start beating them up!” Mia sighed in exasperation. “Now, I need the two of you to remain calm and talk to each other like the adults that you are.” You caught the look Mia threw you, getting offended.
“ME!?” You scoffed in disbelief. “I’m not the one who burst in here like a crazy person!”
“Well I wouldn’t have had to burst in here if you weren’t such an idiot!” Olivia pipped up from behind Mia.
“I’m not the idiot here-!”
Groaning at the sight of her bickering friends, Mia looked around the room finding your open water bottle. She grabbed it, gathering some water in her palm before launching some at both you and Olivia. The bickering stopped as you both let out a gasp of surprise, turning to Mia with a betrayed expression on your faces.
“Now,” Mia said calmly, gripping the bottle in her hand, “Either the two of you calm the fuck down or I will not hesitate to empty this entire thing on both of your heads.”
Eyeing the bottle in her hand and then Olivia, wordlessly coming to an agreement knowing fully well that Mia was not messing around, a series of ‘okay’ and ‘fine’ were grumbled out. Relaxing her shoulders, Mia turned towards her intruding friend first.
“Okay Liv, can you please tell us what’s the reason for-” Mia gestured vaguely with her bottle “-whatever the hell this is.”
“Well,” Olivia began calmly, turning towards you, “I was just dropping by because I ran into someone and found out about what you did.”
You felt your throat dry up. “He told you?”
Olivia sighed, leaning against the little desk that was behind her. “No. Emma told me and then I ended up running into him a little while ago.”
You felt yourself sit up a little straighter, breaths coming out shallow now. “How is he?”
“On top of the world,” Olivia said, rolling her eyes, “What do you think? He’s going around looking like a kicked puppy.”
“UM hello?!” Mia waved her hands about, “Him who? Emma told you what? What is going on?”
Olivia looked at you, eyes wide in question as you nodded your head in confirmation, feeling a bit dizzy.
“You remember last week when she was really excited to go watch Jude play? Even called me asking for help to pick her outfit?” Olivia began.
“Yeah,” Mia nodded, confusion etched on her face.
“Well she ended up sleeping through the whole match, went to see Jude after the game, ended up seeing him with some other girl and then left.”
“Oh no, that’s horrible,” Mia said in a sympathetic tone, “I didn’t know he was dating someone. Who the hell was that?”
“Yeah,” Olivia wondered in mocking tone, “I also wondered the same thing.”
Darting your eyes up, you pursed your lips, getting uneasy at the growing silence as you noticed both of them turned to you awaiting an answer. “I don’t know.”
Mia knit her eyebrows at you. “You didn’t talk to him about it?”
“No,” You gulped.
Olivia sighed, throwing her hands up in frustration as she threw a see-why-I-got-mad look to Mia.
“Okay well cut her some slack,” Mia defended you, “He could have made an effort to come talk to her too. And it’s not like he approached you or something right?”
You felt your cheeks blaze up, twisting your fingers with more force in nervousness, unable to look up as you fixed your gaze on a stray sock that lay on the floor. You heard Mia call out your name, trying to grab your attention.
“He came to talk to me about it.”
Olivia perked up immediately, eyebrows shooting up with interest as her mouth fell open slightly at the new piece of information. “Okay and?”
“I…” Your voice faltered, trying best to not let the words get stuck in your throat. “Jude came to talk to me in the library after I avoided running into him on campus for days, even ignoring his text messages. When he did talk to me about it, I instead of talking about it with him, ended up yelling up at him.” You gulped, wincing at the memory. “I accused him of playing and wasting time with me. And then I called him a fuckboy by the end of it.”
The next few minutes were silent, the only noise in the room being that of the ticking minute hand of your clock. You finally looked up to your friends, wondering if they were still in the room with you. You were met with stunned expressions on their faces, mouth slightly ajar in shock as they digested the words that you had just said.
Olivia blinked a few times, getting up on her feet, scratching the back of her neck letting out a playful laugh before throwing her arms up in exasperation, voice decibels higher than you had ever heard from her. “Are you completely insane!? What in the whole fuck ass trash made you even say those things!?”
Cowering at her words, you had never wanted to run away from a room so quick as now. Saying out loud what you had done made it all very real as the guilt that was bubbling in your stomach grew tenfold. Olivia had never exercised as much self-control as she was doing now, wanting to do nothing more than throttle her friend.
You shifted your eyes towards Mia who was standing still, stunned as she tried to make a head and tail of the situation. You hoped and begged that she would say something, something that would help you, something that would ease the burden of your heart.
“I…just,” Mia hesitated to say, “I don’t know what to say.” She looked at you with disappointment in her eyes. “I never expected you to do something like that.”
Hearing that felt like a stab in your heart as your eyes began to water, cradling your head in your hands as the tears fell quietly. “God I really fucked up, didn’t I?” Wiping away the tears you looked at them, pleading with your eyes. “What do I do? How do I fix this?”
“Do what you should have done in the first place,” Olivia sighed. “Go and talk to him.”
Mia nodded, placing the water bottle down, no longer having any need of it. “Today.”
“Today!?” You panicked.
“Honey, you’ve already waited long enough.” Mia sighed, pulling out her phone and looking up something. “There’s a game tonight. Go to it and then talk to him after?”
You felt your heart skip a beat, palm growing sweaty. “Not right now?”
“You wanna throw off his whole game, make us lose and piss off the entire campus?” Olivia asked, quirking her eyebrow.
You stilled, biting the inside of your cheek. “Good point.”
Mia threw you an indignant look, “And for the love of god, do not yell at him. Just talk to him.”
Nodding, you threw yourself back on the mattress, pinching the bridge of your nose. You mentally prepared yourself for the long awaited conversation, repeating the phrase ‘no yelling’ over and over in your head.
---
It was loud.
More loud than you had ever expected it be.
You had almost wanted to clamp your hands over your ears when you had first arrived, ears slowly adjusting to the boisterous volume. The ground thundered underneath your feet as the sea of supporters that were surrounding you stomped their legs in rhythm, the claps of their hands striking as lightning. You looked on with awe as the sky became decorated with banners and flags adorning the university colours.
Looking around you noticed that the team spirit went beyond shirts and flags; body painted with streaks of yellow and black, the self-made costumes and dances throwing you in a loop of disbelief. You clutched at Liam’s arm, pulling it to grab his attention as you pointed towards the dancing group. Laughing at your surprise, Liam reassured you over the noise that this was normal, helping to boost the morale of the players.
Gawking around at the atmosphere, you refocused your attention back on the pitch as the players began to pour in, eyes only searching for one. You found him quick. There he was; standing tall and strong, head held high as he drank in the view in front of him, shoulders straightening as every wave of chants washed over him, fixing the white armband that was a stark contrast against the bright yellow of his jersey. You swallowed hard, completely entranced by Jude. It was almost as though you could not recognize him. So used to seeing him fidgety, shy and slightly stumble in his gait around you. He suddenly commanded this air of confidence around him, a slight smugness in his walk as he went over to his position, awaiting kickoff.
You did not know much about football, just that there was a ball that was kicked around for ninety minutes by two teams of eleven players and whoever had the most goals by the end of it, declared the winner. Your father would put it on television at home and you would simply groan, walking away to find some other way to occupy your time. Honestly, you did not care about the game; you cared about him.
You swear that your eyes did not leave his form for a second. Trailing him as he ran about the field, dancing circles around the opponent player’s with the ball at his feet as they scrambled to keep up. You felt a giggle escape your lips involuntarily as you watched Jude fake a shot, twisting away from a defender with the ball causing him to slip as Jude dribbled away passing up towards the field to one of the forward players, who shot the ball with all his might, missing the target by a tiny margin.
Groaning filled the stadium as you felt a slight ache of disappointment, watching intently as the play restarted as the opponent goalie launched the ball back. You saw Jude run towards it, aiming to head it away before a rush from behind came, knocking him down on the ground as the sound of a sharp blast of a whistle filled the air. You jumped up, a string of curse words leaving your mouth as you joined in with the rest of the crowd cursing out the away team as a tussle nearly started on field. A few more sharp burst of whistles, words of warning from the referee and the game began again.
All you saw was him, his poise, watching him buck up his teammates, pats on their backs and reading his lips as Jude offered them words of encouragement. You felt your soul almost ascend to the seventh heaven as you saw him pull his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face, trying your best to ignore the smug look Emma was giving you from the corner of your eyes. Fanning your face, you tried to calm down, zoning out of all the conversation around you.
The game started again, your interest piquing up instantly, as you began to track Jude again around the field. You stared as Jude got hold of the ball and began to run towards the opponent goalie, adrenaline pumping in your system in anticipation, as he passed to one of the players ahead of him who once again took the shot, this time a successful attempt.
The entire stands burst into cheer, yelling in excitement as the players ran towards where their supporters were sat, celebrating with great gusto. You felt like you were yelling your head off, shaking Emma by her shoulders like a mad person, Jude’s wide grin intoxicating you. You shared a look of disbelief with Liam, as the ball came back into play. Your eyes stuck to the ball as it got kicked around, Jude swiping at it at the opponent’s feet, winning it back as he made the run again. Noticing the defense closing in on him fast, he looked up and took the shot from outside the square.
It was almost the whole stadium held its breath, watching the ball soar in the sky, over the goalie as it met with nothing but net. If it was deafening before, the noise was now supersonic as everyone jumped up, hugging everyone with happiness. You stood there, mouth hanging open in awe as you tried to regain your senses, looking at Jude celebrate his heart out.
There was not any time left now, as another burst of whistle signaled the end of the game. Clapping ensued with more chants as the team began to leave waving in thanks to everyone that had come. Everyone around you began to clamber out of their seats towards the exit, the reality of the situation hitting you hard now. You turned to Liam and Emma, squeezing their arms as you shot them a knowing look before spinning away towards the direction of the changing room, weaving in and out of the crowd as you came to halt in front of your destination.
The gravel crackled and popped underneath your shifting weight as you began to step back away from the crowd, clearing the path for the sea of supporters leaving the field, feeling awkwardness dawn upon you as you stood in the middle of the walkway right across the building where the changing rooms were situated. You backed up until you felt the coolness of the wall seep in through your shirt, letting the shadows engulf your form with your eyes fixated on the bright red doors.
You chewed the inside of your cheek, trying your best to collect your racing thoughts in hopes of having them structured when Jude would stand before you. If he even wanted to see you that is. Trying your best to swallow the heaviness forming in your throat, you turned your attention away from the still doors. Wringing the yellow flag in your hands, you hoped Jude would not be taken aback by your appearance, the yellow and black adorning you a little too much. From the clothes to the armbands to the face paint to the small flag that you were holding.
You did not want him to think that this was a manifestation of your guilt, even though a tiny motivational factor had been that. You hoped that he would see it as a white flag and an exhibit of your support for him. If he even wants to see me, you reminded yourself. Letting out a shaky breath, you placed a hand over your chest, attention returning to the doors that still had not moved. Heads bobbed in and out of your vision, eyes restless as they did not find the one person they were so desperately seeking.
The doors began to quiver, opening up slowly as you felt a weight drop in your stomach, back straightening in anticipation or was it dread? You could no longer differentiate between the two. But it wasn’t him. They were his teammates leaping away with giddiness into the arms of their friends or partners, happy to begin the celebrations soon. And that’s how it was for the next few minutes, the doors opening revealing nothing but disappointment as the other players and staffs made their way out.
Feeling your resolve chip away, you pressed up harder against the wall, praying for it to swallow you up as you shut your eyes. The wind began to pick up, tugging at the yellow flag intertwined between your fingers. You heard the door open again, the momentary flicker of the bright light flooding through before it disappeared as the air filled with the sound of a familiar laugh. Eyes snapping open, you let go of the flag instinctively as it fluttered away from you across the walkway.
And then you felt time slow down.
You saw him before he saw you.
Arm slung around Trent’s shoulder, his head was bowed down, a lopsided grin adorning his features as the pair strolled out, the aura of victory radiating around him. You felt your heart quicken, breath hitching in your throat, feeling the world fall away as all you saw was him. Jude seemed light on his feet, eyes scrunched up in delight, his free hand coming up to tug at his friend’s arm, his full lips forming words that caused them to dissolve in an another round of laughs. Heart swelling double its size at the sight, you felt stuck in your spot, enamored and numb. Stopping in their tracks, Trent clapped his arm on Jude’s shoulder, freeing himself from his grip before bounding away, leaving Jude standing alone.
The flag was still airborne; dodging and weaving its way through people, no one paying much attention to it. It fluttered away with urgency as if it had a mission, some place very important to be. Jude sighed, swinging his arm around, the slight ghost of a smile still etched on his face as he felt something get stuck on his shoe. Confusion filling him up, Jude bent down to pick up the triangular yellow and black cloth, looking around to see where it had flown in from.
Eyes scanning for anyone looking around for a missing flag, Jude felt his heart skip a beat. There you stood, basking in the warm light, hands clasped together in front of you, thumbs fiddling with each other as he saw you clad in the colours of his kit. Jude felt the world melt away as his eyes found yours, spilling with words that would not come to your lips. The distance between you two seemed to stretch on forever as Jude wanted nothing more than to close it. But he did not. Instead he waited; waited for you to cross over to him.
You held your breath, feeling like a statue under his gaze, the tenderness in his eyes nearly setting you aflame as you grappled with how could he muster to look at you like that despite all you had said to him. The itch to run away was back like a long cast shadow under the sun, setting off a few alarms in your brain. But this time, you did not listen to them. Releasing the breath that you had been holding, you began to walk towards him. Jude straightened up seeing you approach, heart pounding faster with each step, eyes never leaving yours.
You felt breathless as you halted in your steps in front of him, fingers wrung together in nervousness as though you had just run a marathon. You took him in, the familiar scents warming your soul as you noticed his hair was still a bit damp, eyes filled with anticipation as he fiddled with the flag that was still in his hand.
“Hi,” You whispered.
“Hi,” Jude whispered back. He held out the flag for you. “I see you finally came to my game.”
Your fingers lightly brushed against him, lingering for a moment before pulling them back. “I did.”
“Wow,” Jude pocketed his hands, head tilting to the side, “If I knew all it was gonna take for you to come was yell at me, I would have pissed you off sooner.”
You felt your cheeks heat up, eyes filling with panic, his cheeky expression causing you to fumble over your words. “I- that’s not why… I’m really…”
You stopped talking when you noticed Jude was looking over your head, expression souring a little. You heard a stream of giggles come from behind you, glancing over your shoulder to see a group of girls standing a distance away, fluttering their eyelashes at Jude and sparing some poisonous looks for you. You turned back around to see Jude standing quite still, jaw clenched as the worry lines appeared on his forehead once again. You resisted the urge to reach out and smooth them down your fingers but decided to be a little brave anyway.
Gently grabbing him by the arms, you turned him so that Jude now had the girls on his back, taking them away from his line of sight as his eyes refocused on you, his gaze immediately softening. And then you began to walk backwards, stepping slowly guiding him with you away from all the prying towards the side of the building as the voices of all the laughter and footsteps faded away.
You released him from your grip as the pair of you reached underneath the lonesome lamp, moths flying about the illumination as it became just you and him. Jude instinctively leaned a little towards you, missing your touch already as you backed away from him, just a tiny bit, the scent of his cologne intoxicating your thoughts.
“Great game by the way,” You squeaked out, biting the inside of your cheek. “Although I can’t believe you fought with the ref so much.”
“Hey,” Jude exclaimed, “Ref needs to make fair calls and I was just helping him know the facts, is all.”
Silence fell between you two, tension evident in the air, as Jude’s eyes raked over your form before settling on your eyes. He was intentionally choosing not to start the conversation, proving to be a task as he wanted to ask you a million things. How were you? Were you eating well? Were you sleeping well? Did you check out the new coffee shop that’s opened up two minutes from campus? But he just looked at you, drinking in your features, not knowing how long he has to revel in your presence.
Feeling yourself cower under his gaze, you shifted yours towards the ground, eyeing his feet as the image of his tackle sprang into your mind. “How’s your ankle?”
“Better now that you’re here,” Jude hummed.
“Jude I-”
“Why are you here?” Jude inquired, quirking his eyebrow.
You felt your lips go dry, fingers scratching the back of your neck. “I wanted to see you.”
“Just see me? Not anything else?”
“And…” You faltered, mustering all the courage you had in you, “talk to you as well.”
The wind picked up again, a strong gust this time as if it were almost pushing you towards him. Still unable to look him in the eyes, you took in a deep breath, steadying your fluttering heart. “I wanted to apologize for what I said the other day. It was really fucked up that I made a lot of assumptions about you and that was really unfair of me since you’ve done nothing to make me think like that. Whatever the case ”
You felt your eyes begin to glisten as you hesitantly looked up at him, his face full of concern as he waited for you to finish talking. “But Jude you have to know that I was so hurt by what you did, and I’m not trying to excuse my behaviour. I just couldn’t control all the emotions that were brewing in me and then I avoided seeing you because I knew that they would come out in the worst way possible and then I did see you. But I ended up hurting you either way and that was just a big mistake. I should have just come and talked to you like a normal person.” You let out a sharp laugh. “I was just lost in the frenzy that you actually might like me and I don’t know maybe I misread all the signals and went ten steps ahead than I should have.”
“What makes you think that I might not like you?” Jude asked bluntly.
You opened your mouth, no noise coming out as you gestured vaguely with your hands. Feeling a shiver run through your spine, you looked to the side, eyeing the wall where the paint had begun to chip off. “I don’t know.”
Jude leaned his head back, the ever so slight smile apparent on his face as he exercised self-control to not immediately wrap you in his arms and tell you the affect you had on him. No, that would take all night. It would have to wait. Right now there was something more important that needed to be addressed. “Is this about last week when you came to see me after the game?”
Your head snapped back to him. “So you knew?”
Jude simply shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah of course I knew. Trent told me.”
“Then why didn’t you just say that?”
“Because I want you to be able to tell me things. Without any reservations. Like how you don’t hesitate to call me an asshole or yell at me or make fun of me. So please, just tell me so that I can help you.”
“I…” You began, swallowing the frog that had taken up space in your throat, “I overslept during the match and I felt bad. But I decided to come anyway to apologize and tell you that I would definitely come to the next one. And then I was going to offer to make it up to you by asking if you wanted to get something to eat.”
You twisted your fingers together, Jude’s eyes encouraging you to go on.
“When I came, I couldn’t find you anywhere. I saw Trent and he told me that you went towards the bleachers. I followed and then…I saw you…with some girl practically glued on to your chest. And then I just left.”
“And you left immediately after that?” Jude implored, his voice gentle.
“Well I wasn’t exactly going to stick around to watch you make out with a random girl now was I?” You let out, heavy with sarcasm.
Jude pursed his lips, fighting back the smile that was threatening to erupt on his face. Hesitantly, he reached out with his hand, softly grazing your fingers, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin, before gripping them gingerly as he pulled you towards him. You let him, feet dragging against the grass underneath as he tugged, stopping with barely distance left between him and you.
“Well if you had stuck around,” He mumbled, “You would have found out that I immediately got her off of me. I had no idea who she was. I turned my attention elsewhere for two seconds and suddenly there was a random girl standing there and then she just suddenly threw herself onto me.”
You felt the ringing in your ear get louder. “So you don’t know her?”
“Not even in the slightest. I think I’ve seen her around with a hoard of other girls who follow me and the lads too much around campus a bit too much. Always showing up where ever we are.”
“So you definitely don’t have a girlfriend?”
“Last I checked, no.”
“Side chick?”
“What? No!”
“A long lost lover that came back from the dead?”
Jude let out a little laugh in disbelief, “This is real life, love, not a cheesy soap opera.”
You felt your cheeks get warm at the nickname, liking the sound of it from his lips. “Right, sorry just checking.”
Jude played with the material of your shirt, rolling the fabric between his fingers, trying not to let your whole fit distract him. “I got worried about you when I didn’t see you in the stands before the match began. So after the ninety minutes were over, I thought about coming to check in on you with your tendency to forget to take care of yourself. I went towards those bleachers because there’s a vending machine behind in the building which has blue Gatorade.”
You felt your heart leap up, the tug of his fingers against your shirt making it a task to concentrate on his words. “I bet you do that for all the girls,” You joked, keeping the cadence of your tone light.
His hand stilled at your shirt, travelling towards your back, fanning out his fingers against your waist, the look he was giving you enough to set a forest ablaze as you felt your knees falter slightly, hands going against his chest to steady yourself, feeling the heart beat underneath your palm.
“There’s only one girl I care about doing it for,” Jude confessed, hot breath tickling your lips, “And she’s a little mean, tongue sharp as a tack, calls me out any chance she gets with looks enough to bring me to my knees.”
You watched as his adam’s apple bobbed up and down, “You’ve plagued my thoughts ever since you yelled at me that day I ruined your assignment. You are never going to hear me apologize for that because I would do it again in a heartbeat.”
“But you’ve already apologized to me about it.” Your eyes flickered to his lips.
“Yeah well,” He chuckled, “I didn’t mean that. It was just an excuse to talk to you.”
You heavily rolled your eyes, fingers digging into his chest, “Oh god Jude, I can’t believe that you did such a-”
Laughing at your expression, Jude slipped his hand underneath your chin, propping it up and pressing his lips onto yours causing you to swallow your words. You felt your entire body and soul light up like the Eiffel Tower. You felt stunned, having anticipated kissing him but not this soon. Jude pulled away, eyes apologetic as he noticed you paralyzed under him. Getting irritated at the loss of contact, you traced your hands towards the back of his neck, grabbing it fiercely as you brought his head back down again, this time ready to meet his lips.
You felt all your nervous energy dissipate, giddiness taking its place instead. A part of you was still unconvinced that you were kissing him. But scratching the hair on his neck, his nose pressed against your cheek, warm hands pressing you closer to him, his scent overwhelming your senses helped in grounding you as you grew giddy, growing abashed. Who would have thought you would be kissing a boy, a footballer nonetheless, after a game basking in the light of a solitary lamp? A smile growing on your lips and air maxed out of your lungs, you inched back from him a bit, heart leaping in your chest as Jude began to frown, chasing your lips.
“I know we have a lot to talk about,” You whispered through your labored breaths, feeling flames wherever he was touching you, finding it difficult to think straight, “And I don’t want you to think that I’m not serious-”
Jude silenced your rambling with a swipe of his thumb against your bottom lip, eyes still fixated on their beautiful curvature, “We have a lot of time to talk. Just let me kiss you right now.”
Smiling, you closed your eyes, letting him bring you close once again, as he savoured you, softly caressing your cheek before trailing his lips up to your forehead, peppering kisses as he made sure to leave no space unmarked. Letting out a sigh of contentment, he brought his hands around your shoulders, hugging you. Placing your head over his chest, you silently stood in his embrace, listening to the rhythm of his heart.
“Have you eaten yet?” Jude asked in a hushed voice.
“No.”
“Want to get dinner?”
“Hmm,” You pretended to think, “I don’t know, it’s getting really late and I have an early morning tomorrow so I don’t think it’s the best idea for me to be going out.”
Jude let out a disgruntled noise, pushing you off him as he made to walk away, “Go away, I don’t know why I deal with your antics.”
Laughing at his pouty expression, you grabbed him by the hand pulling him back, getting up on your tip toes to kiss him, a sense of satisfaction taking over you as you watched his annoyed expression vanish, jutting out his lips to meet yours properly, wanting to deepen it. But before he could, you leaned away, intertwining your fingers with his, “C’mon, let’s go get something to eat.”
Unable to fight the smirk, Jude let out a deep sigh, unsure whether to thank or curse his lucky stars. Jude wriggled his fingers out of your grip, he instead grabbed you by the shoulders and tucked you into his side, nuzzling your head. “Okay.”
summary: you thought university was going well until a certain football player decided to throw blue liquid all over your life. you've decided that you hate him but now all he does is test your resolve.
word count: 3.2k
warnings: language maybe idk.
a/n: okay i have nothing to say (a rarity). pls enjoy and happy reading!!
a/n 2.0: i was editing this and ended up accidentally posting. i really do hate it out here, but too late to take it back now
“Oh god that was loooong,” Emma groaned as she stretched her arms over her head, “I know the lectures are always about an hour long but I swear to god I felt every single second of it today.”
Lightly laughing at your friend’s exaggeration, you stood up from your seat, putting your things away in your bag. “Well that is what happens when instead of sleeping early the night before, you instead decide to go out, stay out till very late, forget your keys, have your phone dead so that you can’t even call Liv to let you in and by the time you sleep its basically five am.”
Emma gave you a sheepish grin, grabbing her backpack as she fell in step with you to leave the lecture hall. “Yeah not my finest moments. But I had fun though!”
You hummed in acknowledgment, holding the door open for the two of you to pass through to the great outdoors alongside the sea of students that were also done with their classes.
“So how have you been spending your time? Anything special?” Emma asked with a little hint in her voice.
“No not much,” You shrugged, eyes darting over the crowd in front of you, making sure the coast was clear, “Just stayed in mostly, watched a couple of movies, tried making this stew, it tasted great, then got some work done and yeah that’s about it. You know me! Never up to anything much.”
You turned your head to look at your friend with a half-smile, seeing a gleeful expression adorning her face as her rounded eyes looked at yours with anticipation. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh come on!” Emma grasped at your arm, squeezing it lightly. “I’m obviously asking about Jude! He’s taken quite a keen interest in you and I don’t know, I thought you guys were having a great time at the bar. So I just assumed that he asked you out or something.”
“What?” You chuckled nervously, eyes darting from Emma back to the path the two of you were taking to your usual seat at the café. “I really don’t think any of that is true.”
“Listen, from what you’ve told us, he clearly likes you. Liam has a few classes with Jude and he’s mentioned that he asks about you from time to time, see if you’re okay, if you’re busy or something.”
You felt your mind go blank, taking off the heavy backpack and setting it on the table as you played with one of its zips. “How long has he been doing that?”
“Uh,” Emma pulled her face in deep thought, sitting down. “It’s been a few days. I think Jude started to after the party.”
“Wow,” You mumbled. “I had no idea.”
“Didn’t you mention that you were going to see his game on Sunday?”
The mention of the game filled your mouth with a bad taste immediately. Quite a few days had gone by since Sunday and although you had successfully managed to evade the topic around your friends, it seemed your streak of luck had come to an end. Not only were you avoiding talking about that day but you were also doing your level best to avoid running into Jude which was proving to be quite a task since recently he seemed to be always around.
If you would see him before he would see you, you would duck out of the path and take a completely different route regardless of the fact that it would always cost you an extra fifteen minutes of walking time. But you justified it with getting some cardio in as a dull ache would begin to settle in your thighs. If he saw you first, then you would offer him an awkward wave and walk away from him in logic defying speeds. Jude had texted you as well, all of them sitting unread in your inbox, having muted his chat after getting the first one from him.
“Uh,” You drawled, trying to think of a quick excuse. “No I didn’t end up going.”
“What why?” Emma’s face fell. “You were so excited to go! You even facetimed Liv to help you pick out the outfits in the morning. There’s no way you didn’t go.”
You scratched the back of your neck, avoiding Emma’s inquiring gaze. “Okay yeah, I did and I ended up accidentally sleeping in and just missed the whole thing.”
“Well you could have gone to see him after the match, I’m sure he would have been happy to see you.” Emma did not miss the panicked look that flashed on your face. “Oh God. You went to see him? Did something happen?”
“Well,” You squeaked, “I may have gone to see him after the match and I may have seen him with some girl practically lathered on his chest.”
“Oh wow,” Emma blinked, shock apparent on her face. “That’s…something. Was she like his girlfriend? Side chick?”
You simply shrugged, trying your best to appear unbothered. “I have no idea, I just left pretty fast after that.”
Emma knitted her eyebrows together in thought, “No but that’s so weird. I’m pretty sure he’s single.”
“And how would you possibly know that?”
“Let’s be realistic here, whenever a guy like him gets taken off the market the news spreads pretty fast. And Liam has known the guy for quite a while and he’s been single ever since he’s known him, that’s why he was okay with wingman-ing for you. And he wouldn’t be pursuing you the way that he is, like I know the reputation these kind of lads have but-” Emma stopped her rambling, narrowing her eyes at you. “Wait. Didn’t you talk to him about this? Why are we talking in hypotheticals here?”
“That’s because I’ve been avoiding him for the past week.” You felt a hard smack come against your shoulder, causing you to wobble in your seat as you protested in pain. “What the hell Emma!?”
“What the hell me!? What the hell you!?” Emma glared, nostrils flaring. “So you just decided to jump ten steps ahead and naturally assume that he’s what, cheating on you, even though that two of you aren’t together?”
You rubbed your shoulder in pain, growing irritated. “And what exactly would you have done huh?”
“Well for one, I would have gone up and yelled at him! Maybe that would have led to talking to him and finding out what the hell is going on instead of ignoring his existence for days!” Emma rubbed her temples. “Sweetie I don’t want you to think that I’m taking his side but you cannot let your past experiences dictate your new experiences.”
“Sure sounds like you’re taking his side,” You muttered under your breath.
“Look, Eric was an asshole. That’s something we all can agree on. But Jude is, for sure, not him. Don’t let Eric control the decisions that you make today.” Emma gave you a sympathetic look. “At least give him space to explain himself, if you don’t like what Jude has to offer then you let me know and I’ll get Liv to kick his ass.”
Anxiety bubbled inside you at the mention of Eric’s name, bringing up a plethora of unpleasant memories, as you offered Emma a weak smile. Maybe you were assuming too many things about Jude, not communicating with him almost driving you a little over the edge as you felt a pang in your chest. You did miss having him around and being around him was nothing like being with Eric had been. But you could not let it go, relentlessly holding on to your ways that had brought you peace ever since your break up with him. Or maybe was it time to let go?
The swirling thoughts in your brain made your head ache as you quickly pushed away both the men from your mind, gripping on to the menu lying on the table for dear life, resentment slowly creeping up completely unbeknownst to you.
-----
There was no reason for you to be in the library today, having finished all your current assignments. But still you found yourself in your usual spot, staring blankly at the laptop screen tapping your pen against your notebook in anxiety. Emma’s comment was still swimming in your mind, consuming all of your thoughts as you felt yourself suffocate in your dorm room. Not knowing what else to do with yourself and not wanting to see your friends, you had found yourself dancing in front of the only place that could shut out the world for you. And also the one place you would least expect to run into him.
The place was more or less empty, leaving you in a frustrated state as nothing offered to be a good distraction. You had avoided seeing Jude around campus, feeling like an undercover spy as you constantly looked over your shoulder and checked every corner on your way. Jude’s face flashed in front of your eyes again like a broken reel as you buried your face in your arms, lying against the table. Everything that you were doing was to protect yourself from going through what you had with Eric all over again. So you were right. Right?
You felt a slight vibration ring through the table, the sound of wood scraping against the floor filling your ears as the quiet resumed once again. And it was back. The scent of the soap that you had gotten so used to. You thought your mind had finally cracked, reaching to the point of it making things up. Letting out a long sigh, you shut your eyes tighter, hoping that it would go away soon. But instead you heard the low and familiar sound of someone clearing their throat. Your entire body froze at the sound, nails digging in harshly in your shoulders.
You slowly raised your head, eyes peeking out to see the one person you had put a lot of energy in avoiding. Jude had an unimpressed look on his face, hands neatly clasped on the table in front of him, as he tilted his head. “Hi,” He whispered.
You internally cursed at yourself, pulling yourself back into an upright position, “Uh, yeah hey.”
“Why are you in the library today? I thought you didn’t have any work this week,” Jude inquired, voice still not above a whisper, respecting the decorum.
Your mind blanked, wondering how Jude had access to this information. “There’s no rule that I can’t be here if I don’t have work.”
“Hmm yeah, that’s a fair point,” He agreed. “But one might falsely assume that you’re trying to avoid someone.”
“What?” You let out a dry chuckle, fumbling with the pen gripped in your hand. “As if that’s something I would ever do.”
“Oh really?” Jude raised his eyebrows in question. “Then why did I just see you walking through campus like someone was following you?”
You felt spit catch in your throat, looking away from him to the blank word document on your laptop. “I always walk like that.”
“Okay good, because my silly brain had gone and thought that you’ve been avoiding me for the past few days.” Jude whispered, trying to sound as casual as he could.
The silence that encased the two of you was deadly as you drew in your bottom lip, chewing it in nervousness, your eyes darting between Jude’s, a look of realization dawning on his face causing him to slump his shoulders in disappointment. “Wow, you really have been avoiding me. Why haven’t you been replying to my texts?”
Your heart skipped a beat. “I lost my phone.”
Jude raised his eyebrow at you, looking down at the table to where your phone was lying peacefully, the screensaver of a cute cat almost mocking you.
“Okay fine I didn’t lose my phone and I haven’t been avoiding you,” You gulped, “I’ve just…not run into you.”
“Not even at my football match?” Jude eyed you, waiting to see your reaction.
With the mention of the football match, the image of him with another girl leapt out from the tiny box that you had tried so hard to shut it in, your chest squeezing with anger, voice raising a little higher. “Seriously? You wanna do this here? Of all places?”
“Well there’s no other place to do it since you keep avoiding me,” Jude shot back matching your tone.
The loud voices did not go unnoticed as a few heads that were submerged in their books and devices had now raised to glare at the pair of you. Feeling very exposed under their glares, you stood abruptly from your chair and began to march towards the back section of shelves where there was no seating with Jude hot on your heels. After feeling you had walked a good distance from everyone, you halted and turned around, grateful that Jude had stopped quite a lot of steps away from you.
“Why are you avoiding me?” He started before you could have a chance to say anything.
“I’m really not avoiding you,” You sighed, sweeping fingers across your sweaty palm.
“C’mon, don’t take me for a fool.” Jude looked, eyes sweeping your frame once up and down. “I was waiting for you at the game. Why didn’t you come?”
You shrugged your shoulders, clasping your hands in front of you. “I don’t know; I guess I forgot.”
“You forgot to come? Or you forgot to tell me that you came?”
Growing irritated at his questioning, you gave him a bewildered look. “You think this is some form of interrogation going on? Why don’t you just say what you want to if you already know!”
Jude sighed, “Stop making everything so difficult yourself and why can’t you just see that not everyone is out to get you?”
“You don’t know me so don’t make assumptions about me,” You clicked your tongue, feeling every word of his hit you dead centre in the chest.
Jude stared at you, feeling every inch of the space between you and him. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” You spat, arms crossing over your chest tightly.
“Always feel so far away even though you’re right here in front of me.” Jude sighed, turning his head to the side, no longer being able to look at you directly. “Whenever I feel like I’m making some progress, you end up pulling the rug out from me.”
“Oh wow,” Your voice dipped heavy in sarcasm. “You’re one to talk.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh like you don’t know.” You kicked at the carpet angrily, feeling the slight irritation at the back of your throat, the sudden reflex of pushing back overriding your systems.
“No I don’t,” Jude said in an exasperated tone. “How am I supposed to know if you won’t tell me?”
You locked eyes with his, finding nothing but an earnest expression on his face, hands slightly stretched out towards you almost as though he was reaching out. You felt your heart clench as you felt paralyzed under his gaze, hands immediately feeling cold and clammy as a fresh stream of tears flooded your eyes. This was too much too suddenly and you could not handle it.
“You know what?” You managed to croak out, making to walk past him. “Forget it, it’s nothing.”
But he did not let you go this time, planting himself firmly in your way. “No.”
“Jude, let me go please, it’s nothing okay.” You tried to plead with him.
“Did you come to see me after the game?” Jude pressed on, ignoring your request.
“Why does that matter-?”
“Yes?” He interrupted you. “Or no?”
You stayed silent, looking firmly at his shoes instead of him as he towered over you, the all too familiar and comforting scent of his soap making you want to do nothing more than press your forehead against his chest. The feathery touch of his fingers rounding up against your hand, clasping your fingers made you shiver as he squeezed it gently, encouraging you to look up at him. And so you did. The tears sliding in your eyes made them glisten brightly against the overhead lighting.
“Why are you asking me when you already know the answer?” You said, voice barely above a whisper.
“Because,” Jude’s jaw ticked, “I want you to tell me.”
“Yes, I came to see you.”
“So then why didn’t I see you?”
And then you remembered, the image of him with someone else pressed up against him flashing across your eyes, venom washing up at the back of your throat as you realized he was holding you in a similar position that he was holding her.
“Because I…” Your voice faltered as you took in a deep breath. “Because I’m not interested in becoming just another girl that you can string along until you’re done having fun.”
Jude let go of your hand, the icy blast of the air conditioner replacing the warmth that had just been there, as he retreated a few steps, mouth slightly hanging open in shock. “That’s what you think of me? That I’m doing all of this for a cheap shot of fun?”
“Well there’s no reason for me to think in any other way,” You said coldly, trying your best to absorb the tears back.
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” Jude threw his hands up in the air, “You really think I’ve been wasting all this time on you? And for what? A quick hit and run?”
“Well I don’t really know how you guys operate.” You felt your cheeks heating up, blood rushing in your ears as the words began to tumble from your mouth. “I’m sure they explain it all in your weekly fuck boy meetings and if you miss one of those, you can catch up with all their helpful tips and tricks in their brochures.”
“Okay you know what,” Jude let out a bitter laugh, hands against his hips as he shook his head in disbelief, “Believe what you want to. I really don’t have to stand here and take all of this. I was hoping that you and I could talk, in a level headed manner but seeing as that’s not gonna happen, I’m done.” He turned on his feet, hurt flooding his eyes. “See you around.”
And you watched him walk away as he hurried out, not sparing a backward glance. You felt guilt consume you, one part of your brain chastising about the things you had just said to him, the other stuck in its stubborn ways, telling you that you did the right thing. You almost called out to him, ran to him to stop him from walking away from you, apologize and explain that sometimes you would say things without thinking them through.
But you did no such things, staying rooted in your spot as you heard Jude’s footsteps fade away.
crashing the car door into her date's nose shouldn't do any good, except when abigail finds herself taking care of mason in her bathroom.
mason mount x fem!oc word count: 1.4k
SO FAR, their first date had gone very well. so well that it was almost suspicious. of course, mason and abigail knew each other from before, from mutual friends, and from a few parties where the feeling had gone well between them, leading them to see each other again afterwards. but knowing her clumsiness, abigail couldn't help but find it strange.
and she had surely been right to do so. especially when, as mason had just dropped her off at her place, she opened the car door without paying attention to her surroundings, not even to the imposing figure of the footballer. she paid so little attention that the car door she opened at the same moment mason was about to do it for her, landed right in his face.
abigail let out a hiccup of astonishment before she rushed out of the car towards the young man who was holding his nose with difficulty, definitely in pain. there was a short pause where the two adults realised the situation before the young woman started to apologise, even if it was not going to help the situation.
in a fit of panic, she waved her arms in all directions, asked him if he was all right, put her hand on his shoulder to bend over and inspect his bloody nose more closely, held her head, totally embarrassed by her actions. mason, on the other hand, faced with the young woman's reaction let out a small chuckle despite the pain. a small chuckle that froze abigail in place, not expecting him to take it lightly.
awkwardly, she stood with her hands clasped together, pressed against her stomach and her lips pursed as he raised his laughing eyes to her, "i didn't think there was that much strength in such a small body."
she opened her mouth before closing it quickly without a sound escaping, then her cheeks turned a pretty pinkish hue, "i'm so sorry," she grimaced before biting her lip, still as embarrassed as ever, "i'm not used to having the door opened for me."
he offered her a small smile accompanied by a light laugh that relaxed abigail a little, seeing that his wound wasn't as bad as that. "i noticed i think."
it was her turn to have her lips stretch into a thin smile, but when she saw the young man's bright white shirt covered with drops of blood, she thought that maybe she should do something about it.
"um...," she pointed to her front door, making mason turn back to it, "maybe we should go inside, so i can clean this up," he only nodded as he continued to hold his nose in the vain hope of stopping the bleeding.
this is how the young man found himself sitting on the edge of her bathroom tub as he patiently watched abigail search for the right products in her cupboards. when he saw her take out a basin and fill it with water, he looked at her with confusion, "what are you doing?"
"it's for your shirt, maybe i can try to get the stains out," she only replied.
"you don't really need to, it's just a shirt, i've got plenty more at home," he brushed aside the young woman's words with a wave of his hand.
"no, no, really. it'll be quick, don't worry. just need to let it soak."
"alright then, thanks."
abigail was now standing by the tap, where the basin filled with water and soap was placed, waiting for mason to take off his shirt so that she could soak it, but the young man was only watching his feet, "uh mason?"
he looked up at her, "yes?"
"your shirt then?" she asked hesitantly.
a wave of realisation came over the young man's face before he nodded vigorously, "yeah yeah, sorry sorry."
"only if you're comfortable otherwise it's okay i-," she raised her hands to the sky to signal that she didn't care.
"no, no, i'm good thanks," he offered her a small smile which she returned before he took off his jacket and started to unbutton the buttons of his shirt one by one.
in spite of herself, her gaze remained fixed on the young man's hands, which, with dexterity, revealed a little more skin as he opened his shirt. she gave herself a mental slap before looking away, still glancing at him from time to time. her back leaning against the sink, it was finally mason's voice that called out to her as he handed her his shirt. she took it, thanking him as she did her best not to pay attention to his musculature that was now exposed, then turned around before dipping it in the basin.
when she turned towards him again, he was putting his jacket back on and she thanked god for this gesture. she would not have been able to look at him in the eye otherwise. nevertheless, once she was seated on a small stool as she faced him, his torso was still visible and she thought that it would surely have been wiser to ask him to take off his shirt after having treated his nose, rather than before. too late anyway, she was already pouring the liquid onto cotton wool to remove the blood that had dried around his nose which had stopped bleeding, "tell me if i'm hurting you," she said before starting to pat his nose.
mason winced a little but told her that she could continue, especially since having her face so close to his was a godsend. his eyes roamed over the whole of her, but especially over her lips. they were beautiful, and they made you want them. very much so. abigail could feel his gaze on her as her breath became a little more ragged. she pretended that nothing was wrong and continued to remove the blood, praying that he would stop looking at her in that way.
"is it still alright?" she asked with all the delicacy she always showed - except a few minutes ago.
"can i kiss you?"
abigail stopped all her movements: the cotton wool remained suspended over the young man's nose as well as her mouth which remained half-open without any word coming out. she remained speechless for a few seconds. to tell the truth, it was quite unexpected.
"you almost lost your nose because of me, but you want to kiss me?" she asked, confused and lost, looking into mason's eyes and he simply nodded.
abigail almost wanted to pinch herself, the situation was so unreal. mason looked at her with the same insistence, still waiting for an answer, which she soon gave him, "i-yes, but won't your nose hurt?"
"don't worry," he laughed, seeing how nervous the girl was.
she couldn't answer him as he was already placing his lips on hers in a soft, warm kiss. she dropped the cotton she was holding between her fingers to the floor before running her hands over the back of his neck to deepen it even more. she felt him smile against her lips and she couldn't help but imitate him. they finally parted as they missed air before smiling at each other like two idiots.
she looked into his eyes for a few seconds before she cleared her throat and told him, "i should probably finish," she took another cotton ball before showing it to him to illustrate her point.
"you should yeah," he replied in a whisper, still staring only at her lips.
and as she began to remove the blood that remained, he crashed his lips against hers once more, unable to hold back for a second longer. abigail could not help but laugh happily against the boy's mouth, appreciating the spontaneity he was showing. he smiled in the same way when he heard the melodious sound coming out of abigail's mouth.
"sorry, couldn't help myself," he whispered, ungluing himself from her before proceeding to give her a charming little wink.
"i forgive you, but now you really must let me finish," abigail pointed a threatening finger in his direction.
he raised his hands in the air innocently, "yes ma'am, go on."
