J. Bellingham- Night Visits
A month ago you had this big fight, that finally ended things, after all those little arguments that lead to him being distant. Those little stupid arguments, that made all good memories disappear, vanish in the heat of the argument. Those arguments that you now didnât even know what they were about. Those stupid little arguments that led to this big even stupider one. The argument that made you leave the house, leave him.
The boy that made u smile no matter what. The boy that was always there for you, showering you in kisses. The boy that you had created so many perfect memories with. The boy that loved you and you him more than anything in this stupid world, that you shared so many intimate moments with. The boy that would always dedicate his goals for you. The boy that you were so unbelievably proud of. The boy you had left because you couldnât deal with any more of the pain he was causing you and you were causing him. The boy-Jude Bellingham
After you had left you were a mess, you had gone back to your apartment, balling your eyes out. You loved Jude but you just couldnât handle the constant arguments. The way he got jealous about everything and everybody. The way you would argue. The way he would comfort you after a fight, tears streaming down your face. After that night you had met up, discussing the whole situation, coming to the mutual agreement that breaking up was the best decision for both of you.
The following up month was horror for you both. Jude couldnât help but miss how you would always stand at the front rows of his games cheering for him, wearing his jersey with the name Bellingham on your back. All those nights you would stay up late doing whatever you wanted. He missed your touch and affection, how you always made him smile. He was broken, missing you more than anything. His body limp from feeling empty, his apartment missing you and your stupid dancing sessions, and your beautiful laugh.
All this was a month ago. You were currently lying on your bed sleeping peacefully when you heard your phone going off, waking you up. You groaned as you pulled your phone off its charger looking who would send you a message in the middle of the night.
< Open the door please > your eyes scanned over the message shortly before your legs slipped out of the covers of your bed, your feet carrying you to your door pulling at the door knob and opening the door swiftly.
Outside stood a wet Jude looking at you hopefully. His appearance was awful, his body limp and shoulders slumped. He didnât look good, well I mean he looked handsome, but not like the normal bright Jude.
âCan I come inâ he asked quietly. The smell of rain and his cologne filled your nose. You stood there, for a short moment, it was just you him and the sound of water drops hitting the ground. He looking at you as you pulled the door completely open letting him in.
The first time this hd happened was a week ago. Jude was lying in his bed awake, in the middle of the night. Thinking of you and how he missed you so much. He couldnât sleep without you by his side. So in a moment of weakness he had gotten into his car leaving his apartment behind, appearing at your door step in the middle of the night, desperately wanting to see you. You had let him in not caring about what would happen the next morning. That night just being two lost lovers, searching for escape of the reality of their situation, about what they didnât have anymore. You had slept together. In the moment, it had just been you and not the world around you, the darkness of the night stopping everything time and life. It was like in the whole universe, just you and Jude existed. Jude had left early in the morning for training not waking you up or anything. He didnât want to talk, he knew it wouldnât end well. The thing was that, that wouldnât be the only time he would visit you at night trying to forget everything just needing you.
So here you were, letting your ex-boyfriend again in your apartment in the middle of the night, hoping to seek escape. You both knew this couldnât keep happening like this. You knew you shouldnât have let him in, but here you were. He walked into your home, as soon as the door closed, grabbing you by the waist kissing you. You melted into his touch, into those warm hands on your hips that you missed so desperately. Loving the warm feeling in your stomach that his lips gave you. It made you feel at home at peace.
You led him upstairs lying in bed with him. He was on top of you, kissing you as if it would be the last time. His tongue fought with yours, your legs wrapped around his waist tightly.
He pulled away just staring into your beautiful eyes. The rain hitting the window of your room. It was just you and him. Your eyes glossy. God how you missed him. His head dipped down as he kissed every single part of your face.
âI am sorry, I am so fucking sorryâ Jude whispered over and over again, his voice breaking, warm thick tears rolling down his face.
âI love you,â âso so muchâ he repeated quietly again and again. âI love you, I am sorry tooâ you whispered, as if no one except for him should hear it, your heart aching in pain. Now your own tears rolled down your cheeks, your hand holding his head close.
The night consisted of apologies and promises, that he would do better. Broken words between kisses. Him holding you close never wanting to let go ever again. Your head rested on his chest, crying yourself to sleep. He stroking your hair.
The next morning you woke up snuggled against a familiar warmth. Jude. His body heat radiating keeping you warm. His arms slung around you protectively. Why was he still here. He did have training today didnât he. You thought about waking him up asking him to leave, knowing it would be the right decision. But then caving because the feeling of him next to you, you didnât wanna let that go. You wanted to keep that for as long as you could. So closing your eyes you enjoyed the moment. That was until Jude woke up.
âMorning beautifulâ his raspy morning voice, god how much you loved it. He smiled.
Pulling yourself together, you pushed yourself up, hands on his chest looking at him under you.
âWhat are you doingâ you exhaled questions filling your head
âKeeping my promisesâ he answered calmly watching you
You pulled yourself of him completely in disbelief.
ânoâ your broken voice filling the room. You sat up standing up from the bed
âYou canât just show up when you want to, promise something and decide to stayâ tears brimmed in your eyes
He sat up in your bed, trying to understand the feelings displayed on your face.
âBecause-â the tears slipped out of your eyes
âBecause we canât-â âwe had an agreementâ you answered turning away from him trying to control all those feelings cursing through your veins.
He jumped of the bed standing in front of you taking your hands in his. the warmth making you relax. He looking at you with those beautiful brown eyes. His face sad, carrying a thousand emotions.
âI love you, and thatâs all that counts, I realised that while you werenât by my sideâ âIâd rather have those stupid arguments, than donât have you at all, I love you so fucking much and being without you just hurts so much I canât do that anymoreâ âI love you and you love me thatâs all we need to know, the rest we can work out later, togetherâ he inhaled sharply waiting for your answer. His hands squeezing yours slightly. He was trying to convince you to keep him with you. To give you two another chance. The moment he had stepped a foot into your apartment last night, he only had one thing on his mind. Getting you back. Getting you back into his arms and life.
You mustered his face trying to read him. Did you love him. Yes. Did you miss him like a little child. Yes. Did you want nothing more than to be back in his arms. Fuck yea
âFine, but promise me we will try and do betterâ you whispered exhausted.
He looked at you a smile on his face. Letting your hands go pulling you into a hug. Your hands found his ďżźlower back, your head rested on his chest.
âI promise, I promise a million timesâ he mumbled into your hair kissing it.
There you two were. Two lovers who couldnât let each other go. Who were trying to make the right choice. Standing in the middle of the girls apartment hugging never wanting to let each other go. And they didnât.
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