You hadnât meant to come. In fact, youâd rejected the invitation to his birthday straight away, but Beau being the annoying friend that he is, had pretty much harassed you into coming anyway. Heâd played the puppy-dog eyes card and spent days trying to make you feel guilty in a joking way and in the end, you had to admit to yourself that there was no getting out of it.
Especially as the reason for your reluctance was a 6â1 hockey player â a mutual friend â and you couldnât exactly tell Beau that.
Mat â said hockey player â and Beau had been drafted the same year and been two peas in a pod ever since. Youâd moved to New York not too long after the draft and simply joined their friendship.
Fast forward two decades and the mutual attraction between you and Mat had led to a rather questionable situation. To be exact, you werenât even quite sure what this thing between the two of you were.
It was supposed to be the typical friends-with-benefits-situation: Casual hook-ups whenever either of you were needy or needed a distraction and nothing more; a no-strings-attached-thing.
It was something that matched Matâs lifestyle of sleeping around and being focussed on hockey with no time for a proper girlfriend and while you werenât necessarily big into meaningless hook-ups, you were comfortable enough around Mat to let him take care of your needs without making you feel cheap.
And with him, you never had to grapple with those agonising thoughts about whether it might actually be more than that for him after all. Â
That was until everything felt like it was shifting. Until lately, what you did felt serious more often than it didnât.
At first, youâd brushed it off and convinced yourself that it was because you were friends first and foremost and other than for hooking-up, Mat still needed you as his friend, but then, slowly, but surely, his actions had taken on a vibe that felt like a lot more than just friends.
Like whenever heâd ask to come over after a heavy loss and look at you all soft when youâd open the door in shorts and a t-shirt that was too big on you. Heâd sneak under the covers with you and bury his face in your neck to breathe you in; letting you scratch his back and head, all while melting into you. Heâd hold you tightly like you were everything he needed and fall asleep in your arms without even the tiniest attempt at funny business.
Or when heâd ask you to wait for him after games you attended. Heâd greet you with a hug that felt a little too long for a friendship and would hold your hand in his car later like it was the most normal thing.
Or when heâd casually remember your coffee order and favourite take away.
Or when heâd notice things before anyone else did. Like when you got tired and heâd ask if you wanted to head home.
Last week, when youâd shivered a little from getting chilly, heâd wordlessly draped his hoodie over your shoulders. And then a couple days before when youâd been out together and youâd been overwhelmed by the amount of people, heâd gently placed his hand on the small of your back as a quiet remember that heâd got you.
It really was beginning to mess with your head and you had to remind yourself every once in a while, that you were just friends.
And the situation right in front of you, was a pretty obvious reminder that he could be with anyone and there was absolutely no reason at all why heâd choose you.
Mat was a few feet away talking to Jess, one of Beauâs friends from Washington. Youâd met her a year ago when Beau brought her to an Islanders game to introduce her to Mat.
Up until today you werenât sure what his intentions had been, but Jess was great and beautiful. And very into Mat.
And from where you were standing it looked a hell of a lot like Mat was into her as well. He was quite a bit taller than her, head tilted down to her while Jess was blinking up at him seductively and when Mat said something and made her laugh, her delicate hand came up holding on to his biceps.
Heâs not even that funnyâŠ
Annoyed from the scene â and your own jealousy; not that youâd ever admit that â you turned away; eyes set on the bar. There was no way you could do this sober.
About half an hour, two drinks and a few conversations later, you found yourself back at the edge of the room. For a while, you watched conversations unfold and people having the time of their lives, laughing and getting drunk with friends.
 Letting your gaze roam over the crowd, you told yourself you were just people-watching to kill some time, but every glance lingered a fraction too long for it to be casual.
âWho am I even kidding.â, you sighed under your breath when you couldnât find either Mat or Jess. As much as you wanted to avoid thinking about it, you knew that Jess ticked every single one of the boxes Mat checked when looking for a hook-up, so heâd probably taken her to the hotel or whatever.
You were just about to go back to the bar for another drink, when suddenly, a pair of arms snuck around your waist and pulled you into a warm body.
Being able to recognise his smell and the way you fit into his embrace like you were made for him bordered on pathetic, but at this point youâd somewhat accepted it and just hoped it wasnât showing for everyone else.
âMissed you.â, Mat hummed.
âWas right here the entire time.â
Ducking his head into the crook of your neck, Mat chuckled quietly.
His breath was warm against your neck and while him holding you like this usually made you relax in his hold, even after a while the tall centre felt you still tense in his arms. Tense and quiet. Both something you rarely ever were with him.
âYouâre quiet.â
âIâm not, Mat.â You didnât mean for it to sound so snarky, but your emotions were getting the better of you no matter how hard you tried to be normal.
âYou are.â, he argued quietly, pulling his head from your neck and leaning his chin on the top of your head to still stay close. âAnd youâre only quiet when youâre upset or annoyed.â
âMaybe Iâm just tired.â
You felt the deep sigh that left him. âCâmon, y/n, I know you. Your eyes get droopy when youâre tired. And your cheeks go a little red. Youâre not tired, youâre upset.â
âHm.â
Without having to see your face Mat knew you just rolled your eyes, annoyed that he knew you so well. And because he knew you so well, he decided that it was time to test a theory heâd constructed in his head over the past hour.
âWas it Kendra?â
He felt you stiffen even further in his hold. âNo idea who that is.â
Mat laughed quietly, knowing well you were lying. âWe both know thatâs a lie.â
âWhy would I care who youâre talking to, Mat?â, you huffed.
You were well aware that you were being childish and difficult, but you hated being put on the spot and this conversation felt a lot like that. And you really werenât ready to be the one who made the situation between Mat and yourself complicated.
âYou tell me, y/n.â You could pretty much hear his smirk. âYou practically glared holes through her head.â
âI did not.â
âOh, but you did.â, Mat laughed. âIt was the scary look you only ever get when girls get too close to me.â
âYouâre imagining things, Barzal.â Feeling too confined suddenly, you tried to wiggle out of his grip, but Mat only held on stronger. His large, warm hands splayed over your stomach and held you tight to his front.
âYou sure?â He dropped his head, making sure he was speaking directly into your ear. âCause when she touched my arm you suddenly went for a drink.â
You hated how heâd noticed it. Why did he have to be so damn attentive. âCoincidence.â
âYeah? So you werenât jealous?â His lips brushed your cheek and the very well known pleasant ache settled beneath your ribs.
âNo.â
Mat surprised you by spinning you around; his hands on your waist and that insufferable smirk on his lips. You hated how hot he looked.
âLook me in the eye and say it.â
Automatically, your gaze flicked to his lips for a second. You regretted it immediately. âIâm not jealous.â
âYou hesitated.â, Mat stated without an ounce of doubt. Instead, he looked smug and you couldnât even begin to put into words just how annoyed it made you feel. But even that annoyance couldnât stop the warmth from spreading in your chest.
âYeah, cause youâre annoying, Mathew.â
âHm.â, he hummed non-committedly as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. The back of his fingers brushing your cheek gently. âI think itâs because you care.â
Rolling your eyes at him you take a step back. âWeâre friends, obviously I care.â
âThatâs not what I meant, and you know it.â
You were gradually feeling more cornered than you were comfortable with, even if it was Mat you were talking to. The conversation, which had felt light-hearted and somewhat playful at the start, had taken on an uncomfortably serious and sombre tone and you didnât like where it was heading.
You couldnât fool him, he knew you to well for that, you were well aware, and if he kept going, it would inevitably end with your little friends-with-benefits-situation being over â probably just like your friendship.
And all because you couldnât keep your feelings in check.
Fuck.
Averting your eyes, you crossed your arms â effectively creating a small barrier between you and Mat. âYou can flirt with whoever you want. Itâs none of my business.â
âDidnât say that it was.â Infuriatingly, Mat was still grinning. âBut you hate the idea of someone else having my attention.â
âI donât get jealous, Barzal.â Your sharp eyes met his still soft and slightly mocking ones.
Mat knew you were close to snapping at him, but he couldnât help but push your buttons a little more in hopes to make you break and admit what he was hoping you were holding back. Â
âSo, you donât have a problem with me taking her home?â
You wanted to hate him for his cockily raised eyebrow and tell him that of course thereâs no problem, but instead your heart dropped and silence enveloped you. You really hadnât expected him to be serious about her.
âErmâŠâ, you clear your throat. âNo, IâŠwill you?â
Mat exhaled slowly. His heart broke a little at the at the way your face had fallen. He wasnât used to seeing you so insecure and he hated it. He uncrossed your arms and gently held onto your hands, thumbs brushing your knuckles in hopes to reassure you a little.
âYou still donât get it.â
âGet what, Mat?â, you sighed.
âThat I donât care about those other girls.â
You narrowed your eyes at him, even if you could see the sincerity in his. âYou were flirting with Kendra like twenty minutes ago.â
âYeah.â, he admitted, feeling slightly ashamed for it now. âAnd the entire time I was wondering why you looked so upset.â
âI wasnât ups-â
ây/n.â, he interrupted you quietly. âYou were. And IâŠI liked that you cared.â
Your heart did something complicated in your chest and the nerves creeping up had you averting your eyes to the floor. âYou shouldnât.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause this is supposed to be casual.â
âWellâŠmaybe I donât want casual anymore.â
Your eyes snapped up to his. Silence.
âWhat?â
âYou heard me.â
âMattyâŠyouâreâŠyouâre not the relationship-type of guy. ItâsâŠI mean, you said it yourself andâŠandâŠyou just-â
You were at a loss for words. There was no way Mat Barzal, Mr. No-strings-attached-only, the man who was seemingly allergic to feelings other than pure happiness and devastation because of hockey, had just admitted that being serious with someone didnât sound like something to run from anymore.
What. The. Hell.
âI just said I donât want anyone else.â His warm brown eyes bore into yours with the deepest sincerity youâd ever seen on him. There was no smirk on his face, no glint in his eyes, just raw honesty all over his pretty features.
He watched your expression soften as if youâd just noticed how serious he was about this. About you.
âYouâre not just saying that because I got jealous?â
âI thought you werenât jealous?â A small, relaxed smile appeared on his lips, and you gently squeezed his hands in jest.
âMat.â
âFine, yeah.â, he laughed under his breath. âIâm saying it because when I saw you upset and turning away, somethingâŠitâs justâŠthe second I thought you might walk away from me tonight, it messed with my head.â
You stayed quiet, but took a step closer to him.
âI flirt with girls because thatâs easy.â, he admitted; a small, embarrassed blush coating the tops of his cheeks. âAnd I know thatâs a little messed up. Probably a lot messed up to be honest, but I need you to know that no matter who I flirt with in my messed up way, youâre the person I look for in every room.â
You swallowed hard. âYouâre making this complicated.â
âNo.â Bringing one of his hands up, he pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger, smiling softly when your eyes met his. âIt was complicated already. We were just really good at pretending it wasnât.â
Fingers running along your jaw gently, his eyes softened.
âIt became complicated the second I stayed the night and kissed you over breakfast. When I remembered your insane coffee order like it was my own and brought a spare sweater just in case you got cold. It became complicated when needing you stopped meaning just sex and I instead craved your hugs and cuddles and back scratches and conversations, y/n.â
Mat cupped your cheek and breathed a soft laugh when you automatically leaned into his touch. The warmth and overwhelming feeling of affection that always creeped up on him whenever he held you, lodged itself behind his ribs.
He kissed your forehead before dropped his against it. Â
âI only want you, y/n. Not when itâs convenient and I crave some physical attention. I want all of you. And Iâm done pretending like this â us â is nothing when youâre obviously everything to me.â
âMat.â, you breathed, your hand coming up to hold onto his wrist. âYou really mean that?â
âYeah.â, he smiled. âItâs always been you. And itâs taken me way too long to realise it and to be honest about it.â
Pulling back a little, so you could look at him properly, you searched his face for anything that would prove he was lying, but there was nothing but sincerity in his eyes. He looked at you in a way heâd never allowed himself to before and you could feel it in every single part of your body.
For a split second, you realised that youâd entirely forgotten about the room full of people, but then Mat nudged his nose against yours and pulled your attention back to him.
âSo, what do you say?â
You laughed quietly. âI really like you too, Matty.â
Mat shook his head in disbelief and before you could get the chance to say anything else, he dipped down and captured your lips in a kiss that had your heart bursting in your chest. Â Â
Hi love! Can I please get prompt 15 from the fluff list no. 1 with Cale Makar please?
Thereâs no further request other than that theyâre best friends and turn into lovers - if possible :)
Thank you!! xx
list no.1, fluff prompt no.15: holding hands and neither of them knowing when (or wanting to) let go
It happens completely by accident. at least, youâre pretty sure it does.
you and cale are walking back from the beach after sunset, flip flops still dangling from your fingers while warm summer air sticks to your skin. the boardwalk is still crowded despite the late hourâmusic drifting from bars nearby, people laughing somewhere down the street, the distant crash of waves behind you.
cale is talking about something, but youâre not really listening anymore. because somewhere between crossing the street and weaving through a crowd of people, his hand found yours.
and fucking stayed there.
at first, it made sense. just a practical, friendly notionâwhen the crowd swelled, too many bodies, and cale grabbed your hand so you wouldnât become separated.
completely normal between two friends.
except now youâre three blocks away from the busy part of town, walking down a quiet sidewalk with absolutely no reason for him to still be holding on. but for some reason, he is.
fingers warm against yours, loose but secure, thumb occasionally brushing absentmindedly across your knuckles while he keeps talking like nothingâs happening.
meanwhile your brain is actively short circuiting. because this isnât how people who are supposedly just friends hold hands. right?
you risk a glance toward him, which you immediately clock as a bad idea.
the soft glow from the streetlights catches the side of his face, hair still messy from the ocean, pink and skin warm from the sun. he looks relaxed. completely comfortable. like holding your hand is the most natural thing in the world.
and somehow that makes it even worse.
ââŠand then landy almost dropped the entire tray,â cale finishes whatever story heâd been telling, looking down at you like heâs expecting a laugh.
but you just blink, âwhat?â
he grins slowly, amused. âyou werenât listening to a single word I just said, were you?â
âI was!â
âsuch a liar.â he teases, voice all low and teasing. hand flexing against yours. oh, so he does realize youâre still intertwined! you canât decide if thatâs better or worse than the alternative.
you look away quickly, only for your attention to immediately drop back down to your joined hands swinging softly between you.
unfortunately for you, cale notices that too.
the conversation dies for a second, lull filled by evening birds chirping and distant music from across the street. even though youâre both actively looking at your joined hands, neither of you let go.
your heartbeat suddenly feels very loud.
âthis isâŠâ you start without thinking, then stop once you realize you donât even know what youâre going to say. not about this. about him.
âwhat?â he prompts, gently.
you hesitate. ânothing.â
caleâs mouth twitches slightly like he knows exactly what you were about to say, but he doesnât press on the subject. he doesnât need to.
another few steps pass, hands still intertwined like delicate vines. ones that still, neither of you are acknowledging.
at this point, itâs becoming a bit ridiculous.
âyou know,â you start carefully, staring straight ahead, âusually people let go after crossing the street.â
âmhm.â his thumb sweeps over your knuckles again. still doesnât let go. doesnât even think about it.
your stomach flips stupidly. âsoâŠâ
âso?â
âyouâre still doing it,â you swallow, look up at him, âholding my hand.â
finally, cale looks back down at you fully. thereâs something softer in his expression now, quieter despite the noises all around. âdo you want me to stop?â
âno.â the answer comes way too fast.
and both you freeze at the raw honesty of it. you because youâre mortified. cale because heâs like, so obsessed with you itâs not even funny.
his smile appears slowly after that. not teasing. far from cocky. just fond in ways that scream anything but friends.
âokay,â he says quietly. and then somehow, his fingers lace more securely through yours. tightening and grounding and your heart genuinely stumbles.
the rest of the walk home feels strange after that. but a good kind of strange. every accidental brush of his shoulder against yours suddenly means too much. every glance lingers longer than before. the air between you feels charged with something neither of you quite knows how to name yet.
when you finally reach the air bnb cale rented for the both of this summer, both of you stop near the front steps without needing to say anything.
he looks down at you.
you look at your hands, and then laugh like how theyâre still intertwined is some sort of new discovery. âoh,â you muse softly, almost laughing now. âweâre still holding hands.â
âyeah.âbut Instead of letting go, cale just smiles a little, before tugging you impossibly closer while warm summer wind moves through the quiet street around you.
surprised, you stumble into his chest. âwhatâs going on?â
âcan I kiss you?â
your lips part, half shocked but also half giddy. because how is this your life? a beach vacation that he paid for, because he claimed you deserved it, and now heâs asking to kiss you. right on the sidewalk, sand still on your nose, and hands still fucking intertwined.
things I wonât let ai take away from human writers
em dash
ânot x, not y, but zâ
short sentence stacking as a stylistic choice
none of these belong to ai. these are all what human writers have been writing since day one, way before ai was invented. ai was trained to mimic how human writers write â so em dash, not x not y but z and short sentence stacking would never have been used by ai at all if ai hadnât learned and mimicked them from human writers.
no, you are not âfighting against aiâ by accusing every work that has em dash, not x not y but z or short sentence stacking in it as ai-generated, you are helping ai harm the writing community by engaging in witch hunt and scaring human writers away from creating/sharing their works for fear of being wrongly accused of using ai.
speculations, accusations and ai witch hunt harm the writing community as much as ai does, if not more.
