too weird to live, too rare to die?

Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm legal. My hobbies include running and thinking I'm more funny than I actually am. I love toaster strudels, laser tag, The Killers, Iron & Wine, The Office, and muhfukin Pulp Fiction. My dream.... is for a pizza delivery guy to show up at my door with a pizza and tell me it's already been paid for. EDIT: my dream came true, (s/o to Alex)

[the-artificem]

he looks so offended by his own clapback im crying

[elionking-deactivated20191020]

When you the master roaster but you in a professional setting but someone slip up and you instinctively fire on they ass

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

wheat thins

[tomsbrain]

It’s nine-three. Nine is divisible by three!

[useyournameuseyourname]

person I dislike: *coughs*

me: can you not

[monsterking-archive-deactivated]

[useyournameuseyourname]

Me babysitting: tells the kids colors have no gender

[current-comix]

[sydneyrenee]

Pulp Fiction (1994)

[meme-rights-activist]

If you don’t say thank you when the waiter/waitress refills your drink I will fuckin say it for you

[7daysof-a-weeks]

I AM THIS PERSON ALWAYS

[fag]

i’m Elizabeth

[kumagawa]

[centurycolor]

the dude didn’t even wait a solid half hour before the shit fell from his jaw

[wilderwraith]

me before taking a personality quiz: [deep breath] remember who you are

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

ok... cis male, tall and lanky, brown hair that i always hide under my hat (i don't leave anywhere without it!), italian/japanese, kind of a nervous wreck, terrified of ghosts and my fav color is green!

aw omg would date u sound adorable

[batz]

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

SHIT FUCK. FUCK GOT DAM. FUCKENING SHIT. SHIT, FUCK , D AMN

[macklemuffin]

when ur friend bemis is being unreasonable

[powerarmor]

me: humanity is awful i can’t believe this there is no goodness or love

me: life is ok actually and i have a reason to live

[useyournameuseyourname]

just a reminder

[useyournameuseyourname]

I dropped this candle and the glass broke but the candle is still….. Lit.

[useyournameuseyourname]

when u tryna make the best of situations

[useyournameuseyourname]

wen u tryna be romantic but u poor

[useyournameuseyourname]

wen ur mom tells u the car is leaving and u not ready yet

[useyournameuseyourname]

wen I’m tryna get with u but also keep things casual

[useyournameuseyourname]

when u got high priorities and low standards

[useyournameuseyourname]

wen u show up underdressed to the party