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❛ this is the comedy police ! that joke’s too funny ! ❜

he’s incredibly tired (even more-so than usual, if one can believe it), and while he might not have thought twice about their response otherwise, the threat of some authority figure being summoned instills mild panic.

he doesn’t hurt the stubby.. bear.. thing, but he does appear rather angry all of a sudden.

“i’m not going back to training--”

undyne might not have any real intention toward letting papyrus into the remnants of the royal guard, but sans is well aware that she’s not completely ignorant to his own strength and power (and much lower capacity of actually giving a fuck as to how others are doing or how his actions might affect them), and--

well, it wouldn’t be the first time she had tried to recruit him.

a sudden blast of magic energy sets the immediate area glowing with a flash of light, and just as soon as it appears, it’s gone, just like the skeleton who conjured it.

(it’s not until a bit later, with him sitting alone on his home’s roof, that he realizes the incident might’ve been the little bears attempt at a joke. goddammit.)

#pandateddyclaws

zechv

*whispers seductively* i dont care

" What did the jar of mustard say to the ketchup? What's tomato with you?"

“what makes the mustard think it’s good enough to talk to ketchup in the first place? i mean, it’s negative for the ketchup either way, but do you think the mustard’s suffering from condiment-ia?”

#pandateddyclaws

“Can I hold your hand?”

it’s an odd request, especially so when one considers one of his first interactions with the creature being him detatching his own arm in a (half-assed) effort to weird them out a bit.

but if they are good and papyrus still sees fit to trust them (with toriel’s trust not yet wavering either), then he will too.for now.

“asking that..? gotta hand it to ya, you’re brave. but--sure, kid. knock yourself out. and if my arm comes off again, i promise it’s an accident this time.”

#pandateddyclaws

“You look comfy.”

this person, whoever they were, was definitely not like any human he had ever seen before.. and yet, they weren’t a familiar monster either.

it sets him on edge, though his expression and stance don’t change.

“i wouldn’t try resting on me if i were you--i’m just skin and bones.. minus the skin. but, y’know--if you’re telling a skeleton that they look comfy, then you must be pretty bonely, huh?”

#gems-and-dragons

"SANS! COME TO THE LIVING ROOM! THERE'S SOMETHING YOU MUST SEE AT ONCE!"

he feels like it has been months since he last emerged from his room, his movements especially sluggish as he trudges toward the door and eventually opens it.

“…yeah? what’s up, pap…”

the only thing that stops him from falling over and sleeping is the doorframe he’s leaning against.

bad time for you!

"BEHOLD SANS! I HAVE IMPROVED THE QUALITY OF YOUR HOT DOGS TO ENSURE THEIR MAXIMUM FLAVOR AND APPEARANCE. WITH THIS YOU'LL HAVE SO MANY CUSTOMERS YOU WON'T HAVE A CHANCE TO SLACK OFF! " * A plate with a hot dog made of spaghetti sitting in a bun made of spaghetti with spaghetti sauce on top is placed in front of the shorter skeleton. The spaghetti dog is crunchy.* "NYEHEHEH! ONCE AGAIN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAVE CONQUERED ANOTHER PROBLEM."

of course, he takes the plate as soon as it is handed to him, and at first, he merely stares at it, amazed as to how papyrus had gotten the spaghetti to stay in such a shape.

“uh... that.... that you did, pap. i’ll.. add it to the menu as soon as possible.”

and he means that, but he’s not sure what he’ll do if this.. bizarre half-frozen spaghetti-dog thing is actually well recieved.

#plot twist: tons of people think it's amazing and sans dies a little more on the inside #coolestskeleton

nkwon-blog1

Undertale - enjoying holiday Sans and papyrus

#self #pap

"SANS!"

he purposefully keeps quiet for a good thirty seconds after his name is called, and he can’t help grinning a little wider when he can hear papyrus getting increasingly frustrated, only for sans to speak just when the younger of the two was about to yell.

“yeah? what’s on your mind, bro?”

#coolestskeleton

c-a-k-e-deactivated20170914

#thoughts.

shirelaphan-deactivated20140526

#thoughts.

"Sans whats a boner?" (As a skeleton certainly he's the one to ask about bone related things.)

“--uh.”

he can’t tell if the little panda is messing with him or not, but even if they are, he eventually sees fit to err on the side of caution.(read as: he doesn’t want toriel pissed at him if he says something inappropriate to someone she would see as a child.)

“something... dumb. i’ve heard people use it as a really mean nickname though, so i’d advise you to not use it, lest you look like a bonehead in the process.”

#pandateddyclaws