University of Western Topeka

The official blog of the University of Western Topeka, ranked as one of the top universities in Topeka and the third best in the country (with a duck mascot)! Go Ducks! Visit our website at www.uwesterntopeka.org!

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UWT is no longer able to accept letters of recommendation from household pets. We apologize to affected applicants for this inconvenience.

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www.uwesterntopeka.org

Follow UWT on Twitter!

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Sing along to UWT’s fight song!

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ATTENTION: Squirrels with red spray-painted tails have been trespassed from UWT property. If seen, please contact campus safety immediately.

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CLUB SPOTLIGHT: MODEL UN

The 2014 Western Topeka Model United Nations Conference, hosted by the Armchair Diplomat Society, was a resounding success -- particularly for the UWT team, which managed to win every individual award and come home with the coveted "Best Delegation" award. For the better part of three days, participants from around campus participated in an active discussion of world issues and worked with other delegates to develop consensus-driven solutions to hypothetical situations while still staying in character. In crisis, cooler heads prevailed as Canada withdrew its troops from Cape Verde and World War III was avoided thanks to the decision to host a peace summit at the Victoria's Secret fashion show in Pyongyang. The award winners, recognized for their innovative ideas and/or frequency of speeches, are as follows: Best Delegate: Representing KATE MOSS, William Thomas, UWT Outstanding Delegate: Representing MIRANDA KERR, Vickie Zapata, UWT Honorable Mention: Representing FABIO, Mutsuhiko Takamatsu, UWT Best Delegation: University of Western Topeka Organizers hope to invite teams from other institutions to the conference in the future.

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ATTENTION ENTOMOLOGY MAJORS

PLEASE REPORT TO DINING HALL IMMEDIATELY AND BRING TEXTBOOKS. Urgent assistance needed in identifying unknown insect.

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Attention UWT Students! Contrary to popular belief, adding "Mild" sauce to a dish that's too spicy DOES NOT lower the heat to that level!

A message from the UWT Student Health Clinic

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We apologize to the numerous students who unsuccessfully attempted to reach us at 1-800-BE-A-DUCK, which was printed on all written materials since 2004. We were unaware that this phone number belongs to the University of Oregon. Please try contacting us again through other means.

Associate Dean of University Phone Services Jack Villegas

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Peer leader Amber Smith (’16) introduces duck anatomy to new students in the “Getting to Know Ducks” segment of orientation

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UWT organizes and debuts potential Topeka bid for 2024 Olympic Summer Games

It is Topeka’s destiny to become a major world city.

It is the University of Western Topeka’s destiny to truly rise and join the ranks of the world’s greatest and most prestigious institutions of higher learning.

In order to achieve these goals more expeditiously, UWT has organized a Topeka Athletic Legacy Committee and charged it with planning for and gaining the hosting rights for a “major international sporting event of global and perennial significance.” 

Taking inspiration from the unprecedented ambition of Qatar’s successful bid for the 2022 FIFA World Cup, the committee has chosen to target the 2028 Olympic Summer Games. In the wake of the termination of Boston’s bid for the 2024 games, however, UWT has encouraged the city of Topeka to serve as its replacement.

The initial findings of the committee are that such a bid would be technically feasible with the cooperation of federal, state, and local authorities and would require organizational support from the University of Western Topeka, which would stand to gain in many different ways from the event. 

(All cash incentives for voting members of the International Olympic Committee will be privately raised, with no utilization of taxpayer dollars).

Below are excerpts from the committee’s study of the requirements for an Olympic Host City and Topeka’s qualifications and potential improvements to those ends.

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Graduation Spotlight: Nick

NAME: Nick “Gatsby” Frazier

DEGREE: B.S./Ph.D.

MAJOR: Narwhal Photography (Emphasis in North Arctic)

MINORS: Nuclear Physics; Caribbean Narwhal Research 

POST-GRADUATION PLANS: Joining the UWT Tropical Narwhal Photography and Research Center (Albany, Bahamas) as Professor and Executive Director

First of all, congratulations on your graduation. Where did your nickname of “Gatsby” come from?

My friends from high school joked that I have such large dreams they are basically impossible. They described me as having "Gatsby" sized ambitions. Now, as one of Topeka’s most renowned narwhal photographers and a professor right out of college, I’ve shown them what’s possible.

How did you get into narwhal photography?

I was ice fishing in canada and fell into the water with my camera. A narwhal came up near me before I was pulled out, and I took as many pictures as I could. Since then, I’ve been hooked.

With such a demonstrated interest in narwhals, how/why did you begin studying nuclear physics?

Because narwhal bodies are the ideal shape for space travel. I believe future space shuttles will be shaped like narwhals, and I think narwhals could theoretically move through space themselves. They could become "space horses" if given the proper oxygen supply, and we could ride them around space much like pilgrims rode horses in the 1600s.

That’s incredible. But why is the Bahamas your next step?

It’s the ideal place for a narwhal space photography program in the upcoming decades. UWT wants to be at the forefront of the field, so we’re foreseeing the advantage and planning for it accordingly.

Finally, as you graduate and look back on your time on campus, what made UWT special for you?

The amazing opportunities it provides. Things like summer classes in Palatka, the incredible duck spirit on campus, sporting events, duck duck goose tournaments, historical downtown Topeka, the incredible amount of socials on campus, saving Brent, interactions with campus safety, food fights, raising my own family of ducks for a first year UWT project...they are just endless. Also, they gave me a job after graduation.

CONGRATULATIONS TO NICK AND ALL UWT GRADUATES! GO DUCKS!

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UWT’s First “Car-Free Campus Day” Makes Statement, Sets Records

In a show of support for Earth Day, all parking on the University of Western Topeka campus was banned for April 22, 2015. 

“We wanted to emphasize how much quieter and less polluted campus could be if there weren’t cars around,” explained Steven Price, Assistant Dean for Sustainability and Finance. “It was also important that our students and faculty discover alternate ways of getting to campus, such as walking, taking the bus, biking, or Uber.”

Student support for the effort was high. “I’m so into trees,” declared one student interviewed Monday.

While much of the campus community eagerly participated in the first “Car-Free Campus Day” and parked on surrounding streets and sidewalks (and in the lots of surrounding businesses), dozens of cars still inexplicably found their way into UWT parking facilities.

“Our officers wrote more tickets today than we did all last year,” reported Parking Services Director and Business Ethics Professor Emma Mills. “We even had to call in off-duty staff to help out and pay overtime! One dedicated officer left his son’s graduation when he heard what was going on.” The actions demonstrate how Campus Safety and the Parking Services office will “stop at nothing” to maintain order at the university, Mills added.

The effort was such a success that local leaders are already planning another. “After yesterday, I think it’s completely obvious that environmental activism doesn’t automatically have to be anti-business,” said Mike Ocasio, Owner and General Manager of Awesome Towing, Inc., who noted that his company set a single day record for customers helped. Ocasio not only opened his heart to the cause, but also his wallet, donating 5% of the proceeds to the World Wildlife Fund. “If we don’t give back and think about others in our times of good fortune, where will others be when we need help?”

Future UWT students and faculty will directly benefit from yesterday’s initiatives in more ways than one, with all revenues from citations contributing to the financing of a new parking lot just off the quad. “It’s a project we’ve been looking forward to starting for a very long time, and the money we raised yesterday gets us that much closer,” a beaming Mills concluded.

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UWT Plans Immediate Mitigation of Removed Heritage Tree

MONDAY, APRIL 13, 2015 -- It is with deep sadness and regret that the University of Western Topeka confirms the loss of one of the most treasured heritage trees on campus, a 46-foot-tall Ohio Buckeye (Aesculus glabra) known as “Brent.”

Members of the UWT Physical Plant and Construction Division, working to install a new water fountain this afternoon, unintentionally removed and incinerated the 70-year-old tree due to a minor misunderstanding of the symbols used on a printed site diagram.

Administrators reacted swiftly to the problem. “As part of an urgent process of loss mitigation, staff returned from a local home improvement store this afternoon and distributed a number of potted plants to offices throughout campus in accordance with standard policy,” said John Arbre, UWT Vice President of Construction, Planning, and Sustainability. “We look forward to continuing the replacement process by planting further ‘seeds’ in the minds of our curious students.”

The incident demonstrated the need for further training on tree removal and site planning procedures, according to Arbre. “As a silver lining, all of the new employee handbooks on this issue will use paper made from Brent’s pulp, the Topeka campus Paper Production and Manufacture students gain real world experience, and the drama department may finally be able to build that new theater they wanted but whose permits were refused because of the heritage tree,” he concluded.

                                     “Always in Our Hearts and Binders”

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URGENT UPDATE FROM CAMPUS IT SERVICES

Due to a recently uncovered security flaw in the campus network, we have reset all users' passwords to "PASSWORD"- change yours ASAP!

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UWT has the highest squirrel-to-student ratio of any university in northeast Kansas!

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DID YOU KNOW...

...that the mandatory Communist Party membership question on the UWT Freshman Application dates back to 1950? That's a while ago!