I’d Be Eli-ing If I Said I Was Straight

Eli • 21 • she/he/they/fae pronouns

[cutetanuki-chan]

I miss them so much

[rosiefingereddawn]

Gideon the Ninth is technically a murder mystery whodunnit except instead of collecting clues and solving the murder everyone is just like "Hmmm Gross. Yikes.... anyways back to our little tasks"

[wyyrdplayy]

Old wip I'll probably never finish

[hyperrbolic-orange]

Augustine and Mercymorn, griefly: we didn't want to become Lyctors. Our cavaliers killed themselves to force us to ascend, so you see we had no choice but to—

Harrowhark Nonagesimus, an ice pick already halfway through her temporal lobe: skill issue

[aurvxina]

[devil-ribs]

[cadaverpilled]

is this harrow the ninth?

[cutetanuki-chan]

the gods have forgotten the song of their love

guess he didn't brush her hair and dress her everywhere

[green446004]

patreon | prints

[future-crab]

What if you were Pluto’s most devout nun and you found out the only two people you’ve ever had romantic feelings for were God’s dead girlfriend and God’s dead daughter. Like what are you even supposed to do with that information.

[cpericardium]

Gideon digging for every negative adjective possible to describe kids four years younger than her

[goldinavonlea]

i don’t think the emperor or any of his surviving original lyctors can possibly comprehend how grateful they should be for whatever harrow’s done to scoop gideon out of her brain because if harrowhark nonagesimus was in possession of the the full knowledge that her first enemy and only friend in the whole world Gideon Nav had given her life so that Harrow could sit at a dining room table while God and his first two saints got wine drunk and argued about which of the cavaliers they’d murdered to achieve immortality was the most bangable and made your mom jokes then i do not believe there would be any force in the known or unknown universe that could keep her from deicide

[384302]

I love love love the moment in Gideon the Ninth where the Third challenges the Sixth in a clearly unfair move, and Gideon, half-on-instinct, still faking a vow of silence, simply unsheathes her sword, at which Harrow doesn't miss a beat and says her "The Ninth House will represent the Sixth House" line, while Gideon just smiles.

In Gideon's head this is "I am not standing for this shit anymore. For the love of God, Harrow, please understand what I'm doing and back me up here. Oh thank fuck you've got it. I'm so happy I could kiss you."

In Harrow's head this appears to be "For fuck's sakes, Nav, what do you think you're doing. Ok, think. Can't give anything away. Have to project unity, but fuck you, Griddle, for making me do this."

But for everyone else this is the legendary, mysterious, terrifying, bone magicians of the Ninth House, with no warning, stepping between the Sixth and the Third. The skull-faced cavalier who hasn't said a single word simply drawing her sword. The shockingly powerful and inscrutable necromancer matter-of-factly declaring an alliance that no-one, even the supposed allies, knew about. The sinister smirk on the cavalier's face. And the line from Harrowhark: "Death first to vultures and scavengers."

I love it so much and I love additionally the moment that this sets up in the climax, which is essentially the same emotional beat, the key changes being 1) both Harrow and Gideon have become open and vocal with each other; 2) both Harrow and Gideon are working together consciously as well as instinctively; 3) their opponents don't back down so they follow through. "Nav, show them what the Ninth House does." "We do bones, motherfucker."

[beroebluejeans]

I love how Tamsyn Muir was like, in this world everybody’s totally cool about gender and sexuality, but there’s a new invented binary that’s culturally and religiously defining and dictates who people are allowed to love and/or fuck and the roles they play in society.

They’ve written volumes and volumes of religious texts about how to conform to these sacred binary roles and filthy porn about people fulfilling or breaking the stereotypes of these roles. The role a person fulfills is determined before they’re born and dictates every aspect of their life. Once in a while someone who’s supposed to be on one side of the socioreligious binary is born more suited to the other side and has to hide it all their life (Coronabeth). Sometimes people fall in love in a way the socioreligious binary declares blasphemous and they decide to love each other openly anyway, and it shocks and scandalizes people no matter how wholesome and lovely and mundane their relationship is (Abigail and Magnus).

And these sacred binary roles are not equal, oh no, as much as the religious doctrine crows the importance of both roles, one is supposed to sacrifice endlessly and unquestioningly for the other, body, mind, and soul. And these binary roles have existed for ten thousand years and were created by God and underlie the whole structure of the universe! But here’s the secret: there was a time before this sacred binary existed, and God is just Some Guy who made this shit up.

[margarettherelentless]

Unreliable Narrator: Not Paying Attention

Unreliable Narrator: Actively Hallucinating

Unreliable Narrator: Six month old Infant

Coming soon in the Unreliable narrator series! Ancient Rage Barbie!

[wyyrdplayy]

Giving the people what they want (Gideon in armor)

Oldie that I never posted here??? BTW this is available as a print on INPRNT, consider checking out my stuff! The whole site is on sale for labor day weekend and I'm tight on $$$ this month. Every little bit helps 🙏

Shop gallery quality art prints by Jo G.

[nottobehornyonthemain]

Imagine you’re some little evil woman sitting in Hades’ throne room when Orpheus walks in to make a deal to get Eurydice back, and Hades is like “yeah ok, just don’t look back otherwise she has to stay here” then walks out of the room. Almost immediately after hearing the conditions, Orpheus breaks his own neck so that it is physically impossible for him to turn it, and then demands that you gouge out his eyes for good measure. Eurydice then gets really upset because she’s convinced this is a sign that Orpheus hates her and never wants to see her again, and Orpheus is completely convinced that this was a normal and logical thing to do.

You are literally the only person in the universe who recognizes this as an act of love. They both then insult you to your face for thinking this is anything other than very normal (Orpheus), or petty hatred (Eurydice).

You are Ianthe Tridentarius.