What if’s and what might’ve been aren’t two things Ezekiel takes into consideration often. He’s comfortable with who he is. — The man he became. That rough around the edges, willing to do what it takes to secure self - survival, prick everybody has come to know him as. It would be reassuring to say there’s certain things he’s done that keep him awake at night : to humour the possibility that there might just be a conscience stemmed away behind all those scowls, all those scars. Some semblance of a man who could one day seek REDEMPTION, but it wouldn’t be the truth. He doesn’t pretend to be any better than he is nor does he have the inclination to try. Life sets people on a path from birth and he followed his with complete confidence in every action he took. Liana isn’t like him. Liana considers possibilities. Zeke remembers them as a child, curious and innocent, two words no one will use in his eulogy. They’re older now. Wiser, but that same sense of wonder is there sometimes. He sees it in moments like these and Ezekiel wishes he had the answers to give them, but he’s never been a man of many words. The most he can offer is an opinion. One he believes with EVERY fibre of his being, because while Zeke hasn’t ever longed for better for himself, it is something he always wanted for them. For the sibling that gave him some understanding of what it meant to actually have family. ‘ There’s enough those Burkes in the world. ’ The hand on her shoulder slips further around, arm embracing them, hanging loose even as they attempt to look away. ‘ It was about time one of us did something different. Else we would’a come too predictable. ’ Merlin knows he has. ‘ The fuck you apologisin’ for? Can talk to me. Y’know that. ’
It would be safe to say that Liana learned almost everything they know from Zeke in some way: for better or worse he was the north star of their life for so many years, testament to a bond unbroken by time, by change, by progress. Some things they learned simply from watching the way he lived his life and deciding that it wasn’t what they wanted for themselves. Some, from attentively guided lessons. And some, too, from conversations like this. The speculative and existential nature of their thoughts came from somewhere else, somewhere that felt--and simply had to be--more nature than nurture. It wasn’t something they found anywhere else in the Burke family, least of all in Zeke, though it was never a point of contention. Still, he humored them when they got this way and it was something they’d always appreciated. Despite the lack of eye contact, when his arm wraps around their shoulders to pull in a bit closer, Liana leans in against him. Her head falls against his chest, evidence of their familiarity, and she lets out a long, heavy sigh. Eyes flutter closed for a moment as she imagines that other Liana--the one who was Burke through and through. Self-assured and a fraction malicious, smile darker at the edges, sharper in low light. Still an auror, no doubt, or perhaps a hit-wix like their brother. Vindictive, perhaps, and closer aligned with the dark underbelly of the still-brightening world forming around them. It’s not a thought she wants to hold onto long, eyes fluttering back open as her hand lifts to rest gratefully against Zeke’s relaxed one. A small, brief touch. A silent thank you. “Not sure Mother Dearest would agree,” the words slip past her lips before she can stop them and if there’s a hint of bitterness to them, she won’t look it in the eye. “I know, I know.” This is more comfortable for them both, Liana thinks. The sibling roles holding prominence over the existential undercurrents. “I just think... I don’t know. I think maybe life would’ve been easier that way? Less... alienating.” Odd words to put to it, she’s sure, considering she held the golden child role uncontested from the moment she’d been born. But there was something about being so different from the rest of her family that had always been so painfully obvious. “On bad days, it feels like easier would’ve been better. Does that make any sense at all?”