how i feel writing the character with deep religious trauma into a nepo baby with deep religious trauma but it’s cool because i also gave her a girlfriend
featuring: fem!diego, fem!johnny, f!gyro, hot pants
warnings: sfw and nsfw headcanons, some spoilers for hp's backstory, not proofread, 18+ mdni, wlw freaks, WHOLE HOUSE THIRSTY.
a/n: happy pride month~ ❤️🧡🩷👩❤️💋👩
👑 DIANA BRANDO
A mix of himedere and tsundere; she can act all high and mighty one minute then stutter and blush the next when her soft side slips out. Only you—her sweet childhood friend—are privy to this. She’s pretty much an asshole to everyone else.
After her father, Diana developed a strong distrust for anyone of the opposite gender. She’ll sneer at guys who ask her out and tell them to fuck off.
"Fatherless behavior? Why would a man get the credit for the effort that I put into being a horrible woman?"
But if you see her staring at another man unblinkingly from the other side of the room…
She’s probably having gender envy.
Too mortified to admit that she’s a Cortis fan. She got into K-pop only because you kept begging her to, and the first group that caught her attention, every single guy is gorgeous. It really stuns her ego to see many men live her dream…
Has ‘GO!’ on loop when it first released, also a mini album filled with Martin photocards that she will stare at during lunch.
Every week is fashion week for her. Perfect hair, perfect makeup; she smells really expensive too. You won’t catch her in the same fit two days in a row.
In fact, she has a modeling gig on the side! She insists you be there at every photo shoot so you can admire how perfect she is.
Speaking of her hair, it has this glossy finish and the tresses just slip right through your fingers when you touch them. Diana will act annoyed a bit, crossing her arms. “Tch, you better not mess it up.”
But she secretly loves the attention.
She also loves it when your period syncs up. She can keep you to herself all day in bed and cuddle.
One time, while watching I’m In Love With The Villainess, you made a random comment about how she looks like Claire.
Next morning, the bathroom door was unlocked. You didn’t notice that when you pushed the door and walked in, still sleepy. Your vision cleared when you splashed your face with water, then you finally noticed Diana standing beside you with an embarrassed look, her curler in one hand while her phone on the other was blasting some kind of hairstyle tutorial, both of which she swiftly hid behind her back before urging you outside.
You talk to your family on FaceTime twice a week. Usually, your Mom will ask you to pass the phone to Diana (then yell at her for not wearing the blue light glasses she got her). Your childhood friend will roll her eyes, but put them on anyway.
"Are you happy now? Yes, yes, I'll take care of myself, and your daughter too… Marry her?! Ew, no way!”
🔞
Bratty switch. Diana will let you have your fun, but if you’re cooing at her too much, she’ll have no problem flipping you over. When this girl’s on top, believe me, she can get very mean.
Matching lingerie set. Definitely takes yours off with her teeth and kisses along the valley of your chest and inner thighs.
If you get flirted with while at a social event, she’ll immediately drag you away into an empty corner. Her fingers slip underneath your dress to play with your cunt while she makes you choke on her tongue, sneering about how much of dirty slut you are.
One day she got caught up in traffic on her way to work, but you’re already there without knowing. A guy tried chatting you up, saying that you can be his partner since the shoot was already starting. You didn’t think much of it; Diana would have refused anyway, so you just temporarily took her place.
Needless to say, she wasn’t happy when she arrived and saw his arm looped around your waist.
Ends up eating you out in the dressing room right after with the door wide open. The next time you’re with her, Diana makes a show of lacing your fingers together and kissing your cheek. Nobody in the studio dares to look at you ever again.
She hates, HATES any kind of holiday that mandates her to go back home and breathe the same air as the people who fucked her over. The only reason the blonde isn’t on the news yet is because you’re right there with her, greeting her relatives with sweet smile, all the while a vibrating egg buzzes between your legs.
Diana holds the remote and changes the tempo to her liking. If your face turns red and your legs start to buckle, that’s all the excuse she needs to pull you away from the crowd, claiming that you’re sick and needs to be ‘taken care of’.
You’re then pinned against the door of the guest bedroom while her entire family is literally one wall from hearing y’all fuck like rabbits.
Diana’s strap is deep inside your pussy, her thrusts short and snappy. Taunts you about not being able to keep your voice down but she’s guilty of doing the same thing.
Makes a cute, whiny noise when and bites down hard on your neck when she cums. That’s how you get bruises that last for days.
📘 JOHNNIE JOESTAR
Luka from Alien Stage if he was a woman.
Seriously, her hair is platinum blonde, she has freckles that are even more prominent on her pale skin. She's basically a porcelain doll.
Despite Johnnie's delicate look, she's far from someone easy to mess with. Doesn't have to do much given her dark, piercing stare would scare boys off... but you did hear her bending some guy's elbow backwards last semester.
Pretty horrible posture. She half-nods when you point it out but will just go right back to slumping after a few minutes.
Isn't in any club or have anyone to impress, so Johnnie dresses whatever is most comfortable for her: hoodie, sweat pants, slip-on shoes. She always has this sweet milky scent on her, though. It's like having a dream in your arms when you get to hug her.
Also got into K-pop because of your nagging. Johnnie dislikes the idol culture, so her sole focus is on which group has the best song.
She ends up getting attached to SNSD. Her bias is Taeyeon; got emotional as fuck watching their Into The New World live performance.
Works as Student Assistant for some amount of time before realizing this job actually requires her to move around instead of just sitting on her chair maladaptive daydreaming (same). Once the check hit the bank, Johnnie immediately bailed to get another job outside of school.
The most horrible thing she ever did was lie out of her ass about how the library closed early on Friday, forcing you to drive 15+ minutes to the nearest Office Depot and subsequently camp at a nearby cafe to study. Johnnie works as a receptionist for the gym across the street, which means she gets a free ride back and forth. This goes on for about two months until you finally found out. She wasn’t apologetic one bit lol.
🔞
Top. Argue with the wall.
Sometimes Johnnie will volunteer to drive, but just so she can squeeze your thigh and ghost her fingers along your panties underneath your skirt. Also slams the brake really hard at the red light to see your tits bounce.
Another possessive queen. She’s gonna feel you up while you’re politely telling this guy that you’re not interested, giving him her death glare over your shoulders until eventually he scurries away.
Doesn’t feel like moving again once her back hits the mattress. She’s far from a lazy lover, per se. Her favorite positions are you sitting on her face or bouncing on her strap. She’s glaring at you the entire time, watching the way your tits move as you use her to get yourself off.
There’s a cozy gaming setup in her room. Johnnie loves having you on her lap while she plays Stardew Valley… except you’re completely naked, grinding against her leg and begging for her attention.
Practically spoils you when you two scissor. Her hands roam your body, squeezing and caressing while your clits grind against each other.
Did I mention that she loves boobs.
Has a blast when it comes to playing with your nipples too. It goes like lick-lick-lick-lick-bite-chuckle-kiss-lick-lick….
Nights with her are always slow and sensual. Once she orgasms, it’s gonna take a while to get Johnnie in the mood again. You usually come to her for comfort, so she doesn’t feel the need to rush anyway.
🪩 GYRA ZEPPELI
I just know Diana mad af because she spends two hours getting ready every morning, yet Gyra just slips on a tank top and still looks like she just walked out of a Hollywood film set.
Her height is her entire fit, plus the fact that she’s so effortlessly charismatic! It’s in the Zeppeli’s blood at this point. This woman can yawn as loud as she pleases and scratch her ass while walking on campus and still have people looking at her like she’s God.
With that being said, she’s super stylish as well. Gyra just saves those clothes for da clerb.
Has the warm and friendly older sister vibe that everyone adores, especially the Medical freshmen. Her fanclub has roughly 160 students, all of which are girls.
A diehard Bunny. Her bias is Haerin, but she sees all of them as her precious babies. Was really sad to see Daniella go.
Anti: “I hope New Jeans leave HYBE soon, their music sucks.”
Gyra: “Aww thank you so much, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY—“
One evening, you go on Threads to see her post something under the NJ topic. And I’m so deadass… it’s a video of her Roblox avatar kneeling in front of the Buddha statue in a random Vietnamese temple as she prays for NJ’s disbandment. It has around 400 likes and lots of comments saying “whatever keeps the fandom alive ig 🥀”
You later realize she was using Marco’s account lol.
Runs a small but stable tooth gem business in a studio she bought downtown. It isn’t posted anywhere on social media since she’s not looking to make a profit. If someone wants an appointment, they just need to come up and ask her directly. Lots of her friends frequent the shop.
2/3 of the money she makes go toward the green yuri merch. The rest goes towards pizza takeouts that she’ll invite you over to share.
Anytime you swing by the studio, either Ditto or Super Shy would be playing in the background as she cleans around, humming and dancing
🔞
Jooyeon Na from Sadistic Beauty Side A.
Gyra gives off this feeling that you can play around and call the shots with her... she’s just as much of a mess as you are and doesn’t even bother to hide it. I’m talking spit, squirt, sweat, tears. The filthier, the better.
Loves dousing both of you in scented body oil. The glide is insane when you two trib. You always get so wet for her, as she does for you. Like Johnnie, she can’t keep her hands off your either. The oil makes your skin glow under the light and it’s the prettiest thing she's ever seen!
Gets pussydrunk so fast… Gyra’s full on drooling by the time she gets to your sweet cunt. Good luck getting her to stop licking unless you’re literally kicking her off.
Loves to hit it doggy style while you’re both oiled up from head to toe; she thinks it’s hot when your ass bounces against her hips with each thrust. She’s moaning even louder than you.
Her fanclub begs to see you two kiss on numerous occasions, something that Gyra still refrains from actually doing cuz Hot Pants would kill her what if she can’t help but pull down your shirt and start dry-humping you in the hallway instead…
One time you two got freaky in her studio. You were coming down from your high, trying to catch your breath…
WHEN SUDDENLY
“By the way, I have an appointment coming up in five minutes~”
You hurriedly got up and cleaned around on bambi legs, cursing her out while Gyra just cackled like a madwoman. You guys opened a few windows and turned on the air purifier, but it of course, didn’t do much. Later when Jolyne arrived with Ermes, she stared at you like this.
The entire place smelt like pussy, literally nobody was fooled.
💉 HOT PANTS
She's a little shorter than Gyra in terms of height, but you won't notice that when you see her. Hot Pants' presence alone is commanding and powerful enough; she’s respected by most and even feared by many.
Go-to fit: a dark turtleneck and a pair of high-waisted grey trousers with Black Chelsea boots. Has a pair of reading rimless glasses that she always keep in her coat's pocket, along with one of your scrunchies.
Like Gyra, most of her admirers are girls. On average, she receives four confessions a month.
Her real name is Odelia Caldwell. She knows the religious burden that comes with it; while her healing process has been going well, Hot Pants will still tenses up if someone refers to her as such.
So you call her Pansy instead 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯 since Victorian time, the flower has been famously recognized as a thought of love. To give your lover a bouquet of pansy means to say that you're thinking them, or a piece of jewelry in the likeness of themselves.
She blushed when you explained it to her. For a moment, you're scared that she might call it childish, but her hands tighten around your waist, pulling you closer.
"... you can call me that when we're alone."
Already has her eyes on you since orientation week when you helped other professors with setting the stage and kept falling on your ass.
You were kind of spooked seeing this gorgeous woman at the VVIP row just stare down at you without blinking. Did your clumsiness piss her off? Meanwhile girlie was just looking cuz you're cute and she's gay lol.
The strangest thing she ever said to you was: "You smell like a freshly-cooked bowl of rice."
Kang Yuna from Bad Thinking Diary if she was a green flag.
After Katseye's 'PINKY UP' traumatized her, you put Hot Pants on Alien Stage. Good news: she loved it. Bad news: her bias fucking died near the end.
Her faves are 'My Clematis' and 'Sweet Dream'. She even learns a little Korean so you two can sing together...
⁉️
The Caldwell family is old West Coast Catholic money with deep philanthropic roots.
After the unfortunate passing of her brother and her subsequently fleeing to the Italian covenant as a teen, her parents poured their grief (and an enormous amount of inheritance that traced back to her great-grandfather's pharmaceutical patents) into funding many faith-aligned scientific advancements, which soon went on to become the backbone of many universities' labs, scholarships, and ethnic medical researchs across the country.
As the only remaining child, Hot Pants is, in legal terms, the future heiress and primary beneficiary of the Caldwell legacy.
She despises the title with a burning passion. Her family's influence follows her everywhere and it makes her incredibly isolated from the common people. What she has now is what she earned from being a devoted infirmary head and theology TA.
As of now, her parents are still alive, and wait for her to come home and take over the foundation properly, something Hot Pants surely won't be doing anytime soon.
🔞
There's a reason you only spend the weekend with her, not weekday because by the Lord, you'll be on a wheelchair the next morning and she really doesn't want you to fail your classes.
Once the door to her apartment clicks shut, you're not gonna see the sun again. She'll have you in every position imaginable, ranging from her living room to her shower.
This girl has crazy switch-up. Hot Pants can be on her knees kissing your thigh one second then make you choke on her strap the next.
Has been on business calls while she's actively mounting you through the bed frames.
Does that condescending thing where she pretends to slow down and cup your cheeks while you're drunk on the pleasure to gently ask if you're okay. Then speeds up when you try to open your mouth. It's cute to see you become a whimpering mess underneath her.
Pours the wine down your body and follows it with her tongue. Sucks your clit like she's trying to drain the life force out of you.
Sometimes, you’ll tease her back by sending nudes while the woman’s out of town. Once back home, she bends you over her knees, spanks your cunt, and rams her fingers into your pussy over and over until you’re crying.
“Too much, baby? You shouldn’t have whored yourself out like that…”
OMG I DUNNO IF U TAKE SUGGESTIONS OR REQUESTS BUT I LOVE FEM!DIEGO ID CONSUME ANY PIECE OF MEDIA OF FEM!DIEGO X READER LIKE ID ACCEPT ANYTHING EVEN IF ITS SMUT OR FLUFF OR ANGST 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
of course!! i’m already working on a fem!diego fluff + smut headcanons along with fem!johnny, fem!gyro, and hp 😍🤭 it will be posted tomorrow! happy pride month!!! 🧡❤️🩷👩❤️💋👩👩❤️💋👩
hot pants is a successful neurosurgeon who goes home once a week. you’re a girl doing two remote customer service jobs who almost never leaves her apartment. you both live alone, make a shit ton of money, and have the worst sleeping schedule imaginable. two flats on two separate buildings facing each other, but somehow the same floor with the kitchen window lined up perfectly so that you both catch a glimpse of the other.
hot pats usually comes back around 3AM on a random morning and heads straight to the counter to make coffee. conveniently enough, something from work will keep you up that day and you also want to make coffee. your lights turn on at the same time; it goes on for weeks without fault. she notices you, sometimes she said hi, or even opened the window and talked to you a little. you notice her too, you think you have a little crush, but she seems so busy…
you wonder if you can come over the next time you two make coffee.
diego just landed a huge deal and is now larp being a functional guy on insta by posting vlogs of him playing piano, going to gyms, reading at cafes. as his best friend, what would you comment under his post?
drop a random charlie kirk gif knowing his new boss is MAGA
”i can see your nipple through that shirt”
”not a jack of all trades but a hoe of all hobbies 😊😊”
diego: you’re hanging out with hot pants again?(remembers anger management therapy) …i’m not jealous… it’s just that we don’t spend as much time together anymore… (remembers not to sound like a shelter dog) whatever, i have better shit to do anyway (remembers not to sound like an asshole) i miss you. i still keep the flower ring you gave me when we were 8 (remembers not to overshare) uhh— (remembers to provide positive affirmation) that shirt looks good on you (remembers to end with verbal appreciation) you’re in the Brando’s will
sigh, just thinking about how Hotpants would definitely think her girlfriend is the most beautiful creature in the world. They would be such couple goals.....
Sigh i love hotpants and her girlfriend.... 🩷🩷
I want in fact more of you. In my mind I am dressing you with light; I am wrapping you up in blankets of complete acceptance and then I give myself to you. I long for you; I who usually long without longing, as though I am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy, really, utterly long for every bit of you.
(Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena)
—
She can’t take her eyes off you.
But there’s nothing shocking, or remotely surprising about that fact. She has that in common with the men around her. The worm that twists between the stone cracks as for the thunderbird with wings that dwarf the entire sky. Like them, she will never know enough. She will never reach the point where her gaze doesn’t wander, where her eyes don’t eventually find their way to yours.
Long ago, God breathed the breath of life into man’s nostrils, and from there he became a living being; connection to the divine. And for the men as for every creature that has ever roamed the surface of the Earth, God has also made them with a purpose. A reason to be.
Such things are not hard for her to perceive, coming into this race. Death and despair hug every corner she turned, swallowing every face she came across into they became a mockery of what she herself had failed to protect. It's a materialistic world at the end of the day. For many, there's fame. For others, there's money.
For her, there's you.
She struggles to remember the last time she has talked to Him without guilt and shame. How many of her prayers each night that barely make their way through the tip of her tongue before it is drowned in another gut-wrenching sob. Her palms are cold yet her hands are warm; her days long and stretched out beneath the unforgiving sun.
Sometimes, at a rest stop, Hot Pants asks to use your handheld mirror. Intricate floral carvings at the back in ebony; when turned over, the old silvered glass catches her face in the soft glow of the oil lamp. Your fingers thread in her hair. Her bob has been too long to leave yet too short to braid back. Her heart is alive and pumping; she gazes without hatred of her form, and without understanding.
Stiffly, she smiles. The corners of her mouth tremble with effort, like the wrinkled silk of a torn chrysalis where a butterfly has strained against the confinement. Its wings are fragile and shaky when it emerges, awkwardly unfolding to the world. There’s a beauty in trying, and there’s a beauty in failing, too. Your soft laugh tickles the shell of her ears, hands veiling her eyes as you press your lips against her temple, and hers, on the inside of your wrist. Hot Pants’ head sinks further into the crook of your neck; she stares at you unblinkingly over the gap between your fingers.
Morning hasn’t melted away the layer of snow blanketing the ground, but you two find a hot spring on your way to Colorado days later. Tucked between the moss-covered stones and the tall evergreens, it glitters turquoise blue in the cold midday sun, crystal clear where the stream parts and the pebble at the bottom is fully visible. She scans the area one more time, then nods.
Your clothes come off fast without a second, lowering your body into the water. Inch by inch, the heat engulfs your calves, your thighs, your hips, then settles heavily around your chest. Tendrils of plume billow upward in the wind, embracing you in the earthly scent of sulfur and mineral. A blissful sigh left your lips. When your eyes meet hers again, they shine with beckoning as you extend your arms towards her. Hot Pants smiles again, saying that she will join you after checking on your steeds, and watches you get a little pouty.
The base of your neck, the arch of your eyelids, the slight flutter of your hair as you turn away.
Her eyes are on you. Hot Pants clasps her hands together and prays.
translating poems for my beautiful yuri (hot pants/reader)
i like to think that in an alternative universe, HP found comfort in your presence and realized that the salvation she seeks has been with her the entire time. she then abandoned the race at the last stage and left with you. maybe you'll both go live in the wood as cottagecore lesbians lol
p/s: the poem is Giản Dị by Hồ Dzếch! i’ve only roughly translated the first part...
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