Battlelines

[valleyhillmusic]

Pre-Show editing. Feeling pretty stellar today. Could be partly due to coffee intake, but as I sit here editing vocals on the Allied Worship project I am realizing that my hopes of being a full time frontman of VALLEYHILL and a producer and songwriter for others is actually unfolding as I write this. Like, right now. Each vocal I edit, mix I bounce down, guitar take I sift through, and show I get to perform is a step towards it. @murs316 said it best in his track "Everything": There's birth and there's death but the space in between is where the journey takes place and you give it all meaning. It's waitin on us all. There's no need to pretend, no freedom in the feeling when you're fearin the end. All good things come to it. Walk, don't run to it." The point I think is to live it at a walking pace; not in a hurried fashion, keeping score and beating yourself up when the checklist isn't fully checked. Breathe. Live.

[valleyhillmusic]

@morgandeperno I hung out down at the Winston-Salem #prideparade this morning. In addition to picking up some rad HRC shades, I also witnessed a multitude of happy human beings walking, talking, breathing, smiling, exchanging stories, empowering one another and enjoying the sweetness of who they are; not who others think they should or shouldn't be. What a site to observe, indeed. (at Camel City BBQ Factory)

[valleyhillmusic]

I went on a run this morning in Bartlesville, OK. And this thought was on my brain: "Do you control your time, or does time control you?" It's a blindingly fast-paced race, this world we live in. When we stumble upon calm and solace - let's get drunk on that moment; for it's a fleeting thing.

[valleyhillmusic]

I've learned quite a bit on this 10-day trip. I started out heading to Nashville to do some songwriting and then to Winston-Salem to surprise my fiancé. Taking this time away from the grind has allowed me to disengage from an unhealthy workflow/lifestyle long enough to recognize how truly taxing and unhealthy it had become. Often I think we can be swallowed up by the workflow we create for ourselves without ever realizing it. The craziest thing to me, is that I have become totally comfortable with/accepting of the level of stress and even unenjoyment as if that's just "how it's supposed to be." Obviously if you are passionate for and want something bad enough there is a clear understanding that it wont be easy and it will take time; but if it's something you love, the pressures applied on one's self to make it work can be suffocating if left unacknowledged. I don't know how it came to this, but I'm going to try and take on author Elizabeth Gilbert's approach to her passion: to never put pressure on it to succeed or provide. The best thing to do is try with every ounce of our being to let it remain the thing we love, not allowing it to become anything we HAVE to do. Income is a great blessing, but the cost of squashing or applying tremendous pressures on a passion to produce will assuredly sap it of it's sweetness. @paigenblue and I wrote with a brilliant lyricist this week named Suze who referred to her additional jobs as her "side hustle." I think the best thing we can do as artists is to seek out a side hustle we can find joy in so as to keep our passion pressure free. The by-productive of unhealthy will always radiate heaviness in every way -- and I'm done sweating that out of my pores. What better way to let the old ways die and the new ways birth than to spend it with the most important person in my world. Cheers to death and double cheers to life. Bryan (at Camino Bakery)

[valleyhillmusic]

Track #3 "Single" available now thru all major digital outlets -- link to iTunes in bio! So much fun stuff coming your way this month.

[valleyhillmusic]

Trying to be less anxious to earn...instead, being more anxious to learn. Earning, then, is merely a byproduct- not a goal; and enjoyment of the adventure will not suffer as a result. Photo || @coreygross #lifegoals #solarity #positivethinking #photography #coreygross

[valleyhillmusic]

T-2 days until our second EP "Solarity" is available for you. Track number 3 is titled #Single -- it's about a single guy. And a single girl. We thought the title pretty well summed things up.

[valleyhillmusic]

The irony. I feel so blessed to have what I do in this life. The freedom to pursue my dreams, the luxuries of clean water, food in plenty, and a roof over my head. Even the excess things like swimming pools and enough clean clothing for weeks. All of these things, and I still feel the heaviness a lot of days. But as Rob Bell put it in one of his latest podcasts (paraphrased), "when we go into the heart of our fears...when we can acknowledge that the thing we are pursuing or protecting could fail...it is then that we can no longer be crippled by that fear. When we stop white knuckling and expecting guarantees, it is then that we can enter into the 'light' on the other side of heavy." I hope I can start more days with open palms, ready to receive whatever it is, joy-filled or painful, with a bit more lightness.

[valleyhillmusic]

Risking It || Come Run With Me

Everything great comes with a risk. And TONS of failure.

Permit me to be brutally honest for a moment -- this band has been a 7 year risk, with so much more monetary loss than gain. And if that's not single-handedly one of the scariest things to think about as as 27 year old man with a fiancé, I don't know what is. How we have been able to continue moving forward even still is the summation of divine blessing and countless timely miracles.

So why keep going? And at what point do we succumb to the pressures around us, allowing others to repo our own aspirations and replace them with their own dreams for us?

I've heard it said that if you don't work for your dream, you will surely work for someone else's. And that, my friends, is where we drew the line. When you feel that pull within you; waking up every morning with the desire to create on this blank slate we call a day, you know you're on to something. If we fear it, can realize the possibility of failure, yet still feel the skipping of our heart whilst daydreaming of the success that might come of the hard work -- then perhaps this is exactly the path we need to take. I will refrain from saying YOLO (just did), but let's be honest; our time is short, we are all uniquely gifted and beautifully crafted -- we may as well make our days count even if the risk is great and failure is real.

We wrote the song Come Run With Me quite some time ago; and it was one of the first videos we released as VALLEYHILL:

The meaning behind it correlates with what I said above -- but more specifically, it's asking the question Will you follow us? If so, I can guarantee these 3 things:

1. It will be a wild ride filled with highs you didn't think were naturally obtainable and lows that are so low they hurt. We will face discouragement and defeat, most likely in copious amounts (side note: I hate that word "copious" -- still trying to warm up to it).

2. People talk. There will never be a shortage of outside opinion to cloud your judgement and stifle your creativity. I've come to realize the people we spend the most time with have the greatest influence on not only who we are, but what we do. So the first task then is surrounding yourself with individuals who will pour into and build you up; spending less time with those who are quick to tell you what they'd do different, snuff out your dreams, or convince you how unrealistic or unachievable they might be. Steven Pressfield in his book War of Art said it beautifully, stating that through the process of self discovery,  "Yeah we lose friends, but we find friends too."

3. Lastly, I cannot tell you what it will look like in the end, but it's the process that we must make the focal point. The world paints a glorious picture of what success looks like, but often times we don't look close enough to see the brushstrokes it took to make the masterpiece. I'm talking about those brushstrokes. And if it's a huge dream, chances are, you will need a few brushes.

But what comes out the other side, your masterpiece --

WILL BE GOOD.

Bryan

[valleyhillmusic]

Keep Your Head Up (Why.)

To be clear from the onset -- we did not release this video so we could strike up theological debate. This is simply a waste of time when peoples' lives are at stake. We knew full well that homosexuality/LGBTQ was still a hot button topic, and we felt ready and willing to wrestle with it for the sake of love.

When my own flesh and blood called me in June of 2013 stating the only reason as to why she's still here is because she couldn't possibly put our family through the pain of losing another sister/daughter, I have to believe there are others out there who feel the same; only some may not have a reason not to end the pain and suffocation they bear. The pain and odds are so stacked on and against them that dying is not just a fleeting thought, but a true way out.

This blogpost is not about what we believe is or is not a sin. Although this can be a crushing weight to bear knowing people out there believe (without ever knowing who you really are at the heart) that you will go to hell for being yourself. Rather, this is about a human being just like you that should be treated as an equal. Without using this blog as a platform to preach, I do believe we are called to do one thing above all else; treat one another the way we wish to be treated. I am certain I've known this from the point I could begin storing my first memories as a child, and I'm quite certain you were taught the same. If we abided by this, I cannot even imagine the consequences and what this world would look like as a result.

But for some reason, human beings are programmed to compete. It's dog-eat-dog out there and at a time where we need to pull together more than ever, some choose to divide and instead throw stones. This video was an attempt to show the various instances of rejection and heartbreak that someone like my sister faces for being who they were made to be.

She has said time and time again, "If given the choice, I would never have chosen this." And if you believe it's a choice, reflect for a moment, if you will, on the exact point in your life where you chose your sexuality; your gender type. I believe it not to be that simple.

And I digress.

The bigger problem, I contend, is not what's going on around us, but what's going on within.

Often I'm finding that we the human race are so consumed with trying to fix and make the world around us better and right, that we neglect the work we need to do within ourselves. In biblical words, "let he who is sinless cast the first stone." We all have work to do, and better to be the best versions of ourselves than bring down those around us; scurrying out of the limelight just quick enough so nobody can call us out for the secrets and sins we've tucked away.

At the same time we must try to realize that the world is full of love, beauty, grandeur, excitement, opportunity; yet, acknowledge it to be also filled with fear, hatred, pain, suffering, injustice, segregation, greed, lust, anger. Upon accepting these truths, with the gifts/talents/platforms/voices we've been given, what shall we inject back into this world -- the love and support? or the hate and condemnation?

We believe love will always win. Don't you?

Bryan

[valleyhillmusic]

I Am The Worst (How Are You?)

I just became engaged at the beginning of this year. She is the girl of my dreams and reassures me by the minute that when the right one comes along, you will know it.

But let us rewind back to my high school/college years. I was certainly looking for "love" but I have to say, now, that I didn't have the slightest idea as to what that looked nor felt like then. And when I was single I began to look at every girl --  not as a human, but as a potential. Reduced to what may or may not fit into my world as an ideal mate (emphasis on the possessive “my”).

For years I held on to this mindset and allowed my eyes to live wide, sizing up complete strangers and all of their features. Until she came along. Then, all of the sudden the strangest most unfairytale-like thing happened -- my entire world didn't change; rather, it was immensely challenged. Dissonance rung out within the walls of my skull consistently. The way I talked about and perceived girls wasn't just a switch I could flip. But I wanted it to be. I read in the Bible that it is better to gouge your eye out than to lust with it. Yikes. Seems a bit drastic...especially after realizing what it is we're attracted to. Attraction is a magnetic force and it's far easier to be drawn to it than to push away. And in this instance, it made me feel like a heavydirtysoul.

Got that word from one of my new favorite jams by twenty one pilots:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hts6PzULHSY

More recently, I have made it a focus to try and catch myself before saying something unkind or judging aloud. Alas, it still happens; and I blame the humanness. But am I to cut my tongue off as well?

My fiancé and I talked about this recently -- and much to my surprise, it was refreshing to know her eyes had gone through the same adjustment towards men after she met me, something we agreed is still a work in progress at times for the both of us (because human beings are beautiful things -- after all, when God created man and woman he was so pleased he took the next day off). This talk with her lifted that dirty feeling just a bit.

And it is with this roundabout reflection story that leads me to a point I'd like to put out there:

Whatever it is making us feel dirty; wherever your eyes tend to go, or whichever secret it is you'd rather keep shelved in the darkest part of your mind, chances are someone else (most likely someone you know, perhaps even your fiancé) is struggling to the same degree. And as one of my favorite authors Rob Bell put it, how therapeutic to hear the words "me too" at times like these.

It is unrealistic to keep our eyes totally to ourselves and our mouths completely shut. Let us be brutally honest: none of us possess that strength. So then, the next best thing is to share the struggle; living it out, seeking answers and betterment with others. The heaviness tends to lift when we don't do it alone.

And this is one of the driving forces behind this band and why we make music in the first place. To feel the feels together.

Bryan

[valleyhillmusic]

Here With Me (When I Am Isolated)

 I am currently wading in the trenches of a creative block.

I used to come to the verge of tears in these moments. A potent concoction of being fearfully stuck, the anxiety of not moving forward, and the fundamentalist's pull from behind to go back to what I know was good; all of this while simultaneously clinging to the dreamer who has vacated my body and now resides among a sky full of ominous clouds -- the slightest poke of sun who may or may not show its full self at a time I need it to be shining.

I begin to isolate. Can I be alive if I'm not even able to do what I love?

Even more important question:  Do I even love it? Especially knowing full well it comes to this so often -- sometimes monthly. Or am I doing this music thing because it's all I've known these last 8 years and have started a business that has incurred debt to move forward? Are my hands tied?

NO.

My creative side is still here with me. And I have no idea why, but it took hearing this song to really strike that chord in my heart and mind:

http://youtu.be/YzR8BCmV9Ew

Are my hands tied? -- NO. They never have been, and they never will be. Often times when we face these questions, I contend we are simply too close to the painting. How can you truly enjoy, celebrate, and/or momentarily bask in progress when your focus is only on the lack thereof? Or on what you haven't yet completed? I had a conversation with a good friend recently, who kept setting up coffee dates and the girls would ultimately flake on him for no reason. No joke, consecutively -- and often. He started to look at himself and pick at who he was; I suggested he take a step back and look at the big picture:  back to when he mustered enough confidence to actually put himself out there for the first time and ask a stranger if they'd like to take a chance at exploring one another over a shot of hot energy (tends to help move conversation along). He pondered that for a bit. Sometimes we need an outside perspective, and we surely will not find it in isolation.

My point in all of this is multi-faceted. When we come to a place where we feel stuck; like there's a lack of excitement or shortness of breath in life -- this is often, and unfortunately, just what we need. A place where we are faced with a choice:  

1. Stay. Enter complacency and acceptance. Should we chose this, we will surely miss the moment to change our mindset; and thus we sit. This is often where dreams and excitement go to die.

2. Move. Enter uncomfortability and doubt. Even if it means stepping back just long enough so you can appreciate where you are because of where you've been. And if stepping back costs you a bit of time, better to step out of the rat-race just long enough to see how disgustingly fast we are expected to move, than to be trampled by it. Better even to blindly seek a deeper understanding of our current place, as opposed to be defeated by it.

So then - let us aim to appreciate the valleys however we possibly can with every fibre of our being. And, once we've smiled (at even our smallest victories ) -- let us move.

Bryan

[valleyhillmusic]

Cruisin' the streets with my @valleyhillmusic crew. Truthfully, I can't wait to be waking up in a new city every night. Definitely feeling blessed as of late. It is far too easy to be future-minded and miss what's going on now with all of the gifts right under our nose and people on our path. At the same time I feel cursed; I always crave more; sometimes to the degree that I become ungrateful for the things that are happening now because I continually see it bigger and want to be where I am not. I remember the first placement we ever received on MTV. The idea that our music could even be considered for use on a national level never crossed my mind and I remember thinking to myself, "I wish I could bottle this feeling up so I'll always know what it tastes like." I admit that with financial burdens, ever present busyness, and that desire to be further along as a band, I don't get as excited as I should about every single blessing. In a recent ranting conversation to my mom, she listened to all I had to say, and then calmly told me to me, "grow where you are planted. Even if you don't like the soil you're in." And I think there is amazing truth to this. I need to be reminded often that we are so lucky to have all that we do in a country where we can actually pursue things we dream up in our heads. So here's to us, living now, and cherishing the blessings and this life.