Whatever that fucking means. Since I know what it means, it sets the stage for this post. Niggas be lying. These past few months have been filled w/ directing my attention to a certain young man. Our time together has been nothing short of exciting. I did lsd for the first time w/ him, had sex on lsd w/ him, kicked it, meeting family, going on, meeting friends... All that good shit. So much fun. But with a fuckton of fun usually comes a shitload of baggage. Especially with men. He tried to say that I had baggage but mine has diminished greatly over the months & his is growing. I thought that the type of relationship we had, it was a budding one but one that was him & I. WRONG! WRONG! YOU JUST WRONG! First, I think me and this girl I follow on Twitter may both be talking to him but she doesn't live in the state. Lmao. I think she called while I was sucking his dick in my car, one time. Second, i was just recently told (after the most traumatic situation of them all) that this isn't the relationship I thought this was but we are in an open relationship. Yay! 🎉🎊🎈😒😒 yeah, hoe. I'm not excited b/c that shows me that we're on two totally different pages. Completely. All I see and think about is him when it comes to shit like that. I've tried to entertain other niggas b/c I've been so "eh" on him the whole time but when the nigga started kicking it w/ me 24 hours and shit, it was like, gotdamn... I can't entertain anybody else under these conditions. SCRAP THE ROSTER! Bitch. Betch. B I T C H. The nigga left MY house to literally go home and kick it w/ his ex. And they fucked raw. Bitch. I'm not even sick b/c I knew he was a hoe but gotdamn, nigga. Right in the feels, though? He told me he feels like I know more about him than he does about me. Well, I don't want some trifling nigga to know shit about me if he isn't going to be around. I'm an open ass book once I stop being suspicious of you. I'm still suspicious and rightfully so. I don't like ppl getting to know me and they don't plan on being around. What's the point? I clearly need a few days to figure out what I'm going to do b/c nigga. If I actually get into a relationship w/ this nigga one day and he does some foul shit like this, I will have to Kill Bill this shit since his family loves him or whatever but that nigga is going to see a whole other side of me that I put away in the midst of our recent argument. It's not fair. Since he had his physical selfish moment, I will have an emotional one. It's not fair to me that I became emotionally involved and when I looked for clarity, I didn't get any until the levees broke. It's not fair for me to go through this. To continue to hear her name being talked up. It's not fair to me that I now have a constant reminder to a terrible memory with someone I think I care for. We had a kind of clean slate but this? We've been talking since May.... That's where I'm back at. I wanna know where you are and who you're w/ when you aren't around me now. For what? Does it really matter? Nope. It doesn't. This really is a time thing. Time has to fix this. I simply cannot for I do not have the answers, sway. I'm so open and accepting of like, love, lust, teamwork. It's so obvious to me. Like, all I ask is to not have me in no bullshit and give me your all. If you need my help, I'll help you. I hold it the fuck down. I'm sexually open right now and if you show me you really fuck w/ me, you get all of me. Now, I feel like I have to withdraw, hide and put pieces of myself back on the shelf b/c I now realize the leveling of the playing field. I believe that b/c this is the first time in a long ass time that I've done this whole truly developing a relationship w/ someone thing, I'm having a touch time just being like "oh, fuck this shit, nigga. Bye." Also, there's a hint of "nigga, we done when I say we're done" there. Not because crazy or torture 🌚. But like, how dare you pull me in and push me away like this, fucknigga? Me. M E. V. Valentina. MOI, NIGGA. Amazing ass, dope ass, always with it ass ME. Nigga. I am a motherfucking catch. How can you fail to realize that greatness is right in front of you? Lmao. Like, I don't understand. It's as simple as the alphabet, babe. Fuck w/ me and I'll fuck w/ you. In a good and bad way.
