god's worst mistake

Val | they/them | i stan lucifer because i have daddy issues and i stan satan because i feel strongly in my bones that he, too, would be utterly enraged by conspiracy theorists who say the pyramids of giza were made by aliens | obey me art & writing blog | follow me on twitter @vals_art_crimes

[outofcontextchrisfleming]

Two bite brownies?? Don’t tell me how many bites to take per brownie, Trader Joe’s, okay for me, they’re zero bite brownies. I suck those things down like a BURMESE PYTHON

[beelzebubs1trulove]

[thehouseoflamentation]

*Crawls out from under rock and taps mic*

“Simeon x Diavolo AU where Simeon falls to the devildom Lil Nas X style”

*Crawls back under rock*

[pandora-whowalksbetween]

“You hearin this too?”

[asmosmainhoe-deactivated2024091]

AHAHAHAHJSBSKSNKDNSN

[somebody-1]

[taoluv-deactivated20230522]

OKAY THEORY TIME !!

(i broke my heart writing this)

okay so you see this part of beels body??

well when he was an angel— he wore this sort of gold necklace ? on the same area the black marks are

and i was thinking — when he fell down to the pits of hell fire the gold melted on his skin and left those black marks,,, imagine the betrayal and pain he was feeling then and there 💔)))): imagine belphie comforting him as beel sobs into belphie’s shoulder 💔 i can’t do this bye

AM I THINKING TOO DEEP INTO THIS??? OR DOES IT MAKE SENSE ????!!!

BUT EITHER WAY,, IN CONCLUSION,, PROTECT BEEL AT ALL FUCKING COSTS. NO EXCUSES.

[asmosmainhoe-deactivated2024091]

How dare you making me sad like that

[fishheadakira]

Salt Bae Barbatos

[hyuwul]

some doodles :0)

[snowandseven-deactivated2025032]

when will Lucifer learn that Diavolo is a 5 year old in an ancient demon body

[starrynightlullaby]

Let me tell u how it started...

And then...

Poor Mammon, forever on bathtub duty

[malscare]

i love diavolo bc his lvl 10 call is just him telling you to come outside to look at a bird. the dynamic is literally

[obeymeclown]

BEEL AND HIS TEETH

That’s it. That’s the whole post

Have a nice day.

[elopawa]

Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor UR+ card animations

[thalfox]

You asked for it, and now it's here!

Obey Me! Theories discord

Hit the link to join a server for chatting theories, headcanons, and speculation, with writers, artists, bloggers, memers, and more! (24 hr link)

The Rules are pretty straight forward - confirm by hitting the react emoji beneath them and you're in.

NSFW/🔞 requires additional confirmation to access. The other channels MUST be kept suitable for minors ⚠️

Pick your favourite character and what you're studying at RAD in Sign Ups along with your username colour & (if wanted) your pronouns 🌈

Introduce yourself in Intros Go Here to say hello and tell us about yourself!

OM! Theories houses all the theory, headcanon, and spoiler channels 🤓

OM! Chat houses all MC, meme, and random chat channels 📢

OM! Fanworks houses all fic, fanart, and blog discussion and link channels 🙌

Senior Library houses all NSFW/🔞 versions of all channels 🤫

Whether a lurker or a chatterbox, all are welcome!

Any issues, please contact myself (admin) or the mods, listed separately in the online list.

This is a space free from bullying, bigotry, harassment, abuse, fan/char policing, and toxicity. It is a positive fan space for everyone who enjoys sharing and reading theories and headcanons.

I hope you enjoy!

~

Further reading:

OM! Theories Masterpost

~

[thalfox]

Link updated for December 11/12!

[incorrect-obeyme]

MC: see you guys i'm going home now!

MC: [runs straight into beel's arms]

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

Photos The Brothers Would Have of You on Their D.D.D.

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Is this a way to indulge myself in one of my favorite hobbies without needing to take out my camera? Yes, yes it is.

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Warning: one(?) uncensored swear word lol

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Lucifer

This man is sneaky.

He doesn’t have much time to take too many pictures if you, but believe me when I say that at least 50% of the pictures were taken without you noticing he ever did before he showed them to you.

You think he would have only aesthetic pictures of you, right? Well, there are, but there is also like, 2 pictures in a row of you and his brothers in face mask chilling in the common room’s floor while playing cards, which is followed right after to a picture of you drooling on something before he woke you up.

Sometimes he asks for you to “look this way” before taking a pic.

If you ask why he will simply reply that you looked too stunning to not keep it forever as a memory in the form of a picture.

If he asks for a selfie, he will most likely let you sit on his lap, his cheek touching your head slightly as he leans onto you. The result image will have him looking extremelly soft.

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Keep reading

[pon-ee]

Have you ever considered that because Lucifer the avatar of pride is a bird he has a mating dance? Maybe he gets out his jazzy yellow pants and vibrates down the hall at you?

Muffled in the distance: lemmi smash

[scott-protozoan]

More cursed emojis (this time with asmo)