Value King

[valueking]

He looks like a parody of a human being

[valueking]

Everything's a dildo if you're brave enough

[valueking]

Never let an old person book stuff for you, because they’ll just mess shit up

[valueking]

If you've got many eggs in many baskets, you're bound to break a few

[valueking]

Helen's stuff is like gas; it expands to fill the space

[valueking]

You’ve gotta have a spreadsheet, otherwise you don’t know where you’re going

[valueking]

When you're balls deep it's going to be right up the where it matters

[valueking]

Blind people have eyes, they just don't work

[valueking]

If it's a no, piss off back to your Glens

[valueking]

What's the matter, have you got sand in your vagina?

[valueking]

you have opened the door to hell and all sorts or hippies are coming out

[valueking]

it’s something you don’t talk about until it goes wrong. It’s like guttering

[valueking]

"I just picked it up and started playing"

[valueking]

"I don't come here to enjoy your personality. Put your cock away and do your job"

[valueking]

"That's not how adults should decorate"

[valueking]

For £600, holding the new iPhone should be like holding God's cock

[valueking]

It shows a lack of respect for the gravity of the situation