What I’m I Doing With My Life

“Natalie” | 1999 | Lesbian (somewhat relevant) Sometimes indulgent. Mostly archival. I do not upload. 🚫 Minors do not interact! ⚠️ This “blog” contains 18+ content. That includes graphic “robogore” as well - please block that tag (and others) if you are not comfortable with seeing those sorts of things.

[enrai999]

Wing’s chicken wings （back parts of wing) his back parts…can see like a chicken wings… …pillow cover.

I love wing.

[mouseycometz]

Megatron scary asscheek jumpscare.

(Or Unicron).

(Megacron).

(Unitron).

[fuccerito]

comm for @gods-sugar-daddy !! jazz riding tarn + self-sparkplay!! 😳💕

[fuccerito]

learning 2 animate,,, 👉👈

[fuccerito]

THEY R IN LOVE!!

[fuccerito]

oh no, sg jetfire has captured oh starscream!! whatever shall he do!! comm for @emsiesecretstuff !!:)

[fuccerito]

MORE COMMS N TRADES FROM TWITTER !!

[randomassthoughtsisme]

A collection of some of the best James Roberts' Tweets:

Context for last tweet:

Not a Jro tweet but, the tweet and responses are too good not to share:

[deceptifaggot]

Hey op you forgot this one

[ellen-andriodo]

Look at the art of megatron g1 and tell me that it's SO VERY WRONG..

[atomicdarc]

Y know, sometimes we can see Starscream using him in his gun mode in G1, so...

[another-transformers-blog]

Gives you a whole new perspective on his gun mode…

[atomicdarc]

The horrors.

[msparetta]

Whatever im not gonna post that dumb collar thing

[msparetta]

I think i can post these here they're not illegal LOL

[msparetta]

auuuugujhuhjhgfsdufgh

[msparetta]

whatever

[msparetta]

Sighs

[msparetta]

[valveplug-and-robogore]

@umbrakinetix tags

[k-ke]

[archie-sunshine]

Survey Says-! (18+ Rodimus/EVERYONE)

Chapter 6: Jackhammer (Rodimus/Whirl)

Rodimus is NOT bitter about the results of the crew satisfaction survey, in fact, he’s fully prepared to change! He’s determined to change his crew’s minds, and what better way to do so than to get to know them- in the carnal sense that is. 

There are no problems with this plan in Rodimus’s mind. There are many in Ultra Magnus’s. Magnus engages in some unfortunate(for Rodimus) damage control as head of Cybertronian Resources. Rodimus is not easily deterred. 

Read on AO3 Here! Other Chapters Here!

____________________________

FIC TAGS: Rodimus/Everyone(But y’know, not like. EVERYONE. Just a lot of various background characters and also more specifically with some others), Takes place post dark cybertron, but pre the whole ship disappearing thing and the mutiny, smut, Chastity, denial, Rodimus is a slut, Ongoing humiliation, HR Violations as comedy, Ultra Magnus is clueless, sticky sexual interfacing, comedy, sexual comedy, dubious consent (if you squint and tilt your head), contains illustrations

____________________________

Authors notes: Okay so sadly this is another where I didn't have the energy to draw anything for it, but all you whirl enjoyers out there i promise i will get you back soon!!

CHAPTER TAGS: rodimus/whirl, humiliation(but like more than usual), sex toys, painplay, masochism, overstimulation(again), crying during sex, poorly negotiated kink(but they're both into it i pinkie swear), valvedom, unintentional spike torture.

There were very few that would describe Rodimus as ‘introspective’ or ‘capable of self reflection’. Rodimus liked to think he was, likely because he personally believed he could do anything that he set his mind to. Currently, it just so happened that Rodimus had set his mind to considering his current position.

“Make yourself comfortable…” Whirl hissed in what was likely supposed to be a seductive tone. He promptly dropped that attempt to continue, “Or don’t, I don’t fraggin care.” He snickered. 

Rodimus shuffled awkwardly into the hab suite, stepping around broken bits of machinery and empty cans of engex drinks to alight upon the berthmat at its center. He grimaced a bit as his pede found its way into something sticky on the floor. 

In a flash of uncharacteristic introspection, it occurred to Rodimus that somehow, after the series of hard knocks these 7 cycles had given him, he had managed to reach a new, even lower low. 

Rodimus cleared his vocalizer with a click. He felt like it was louder than he meant it to be. Whirl eyed him from the corner of the room as he closed and locked the door against intruders. “So- Whirl.” Rodimus began, trying to relax himself back into a comfortable, easy confidence. “What can I do to help you tonight, pal?” He flashed a charismatic smile. 

Whirl stared at him just a bit too long without saying anything before snorting and beginning to plod around the room. Rodimus tried not to look stung by the continuous snicker he let out as he moved. “Heh- heheh- Well, ya see, Cap, I’ve got a bit of a problem.” He seemed to be looking for something, crouching down and pawing around under his desk.

“And what sort of problem would that be?” Rodimus asked. He ignored the way Whirl’s blades were twitching on his back. They usually only did that before battle, which meant Whirl was excited, which wasn’t a good sign. Usually a soon to be interface partner’s excitement would be a good thing; on Whirl it made Rodimus feel twitchy. And not in a good way.

“I’ve been in a bit of… shall we say… a dry spell.” Whirl began, now on his servos and knees peering around for whatever he was searching for. “Can’t say why, but I don’t seem to be raking 'em in like I used to- AH! There we go.” He cackled to himself, dragging a boxy little holding case out from under the desk and clutching it in his claws as delicately as he could. 

“... Alright…” Rodimus nodded along understandingly. He tried not to let his mind race with thoughts of what might be in that mysterious case. “I can certainly help with that, what sort of-”

“And that’s not mentioning how tough its gotten to handle things myself.” Whirl continued, glossing over what Rodimus had said as he laid the case on his desk and popped the latches on it. He chuckled dryly to himself and clacked his talons together for emphasis. “But I got myself a little gadget when we stopped on Cybertron.” Whirl’s optic squeezed in what looked like a devious smile, but honestly could have been a lot of things. He was hard to read like that. 

“Uhuh…?” Rodimus was starting to struggle with where this was going. 

Whirl finally flipped the case open, reaching inside and delicately plucking out a long, ribbed false spike with an enticing, round knot at its base. It was coloured a plain pale blue with a thick, sturdy suction cup on its base. He snickered a little again, beginning to approach the other mech. “Bitch and a half to finish with just this though.” 

“... So- you want me to-” Rodimus blinked, optics darting between the toy in his claws and his bright pinpoint of an optic. His vents caught as Whirl shoved him onto his back and straddled his lap. Rodimus canceled out the 4 popups begging to open his panels. This was really getting old at this point. Rodimus braced himself for- something- he didn’t know what. A desperate part of him hoped that Whirl would use those strong claws to pry the magnetizer off, and an even more desperate part- the part that remembered the topical patch still heavy in his subspace- hoped he’d be able to fit that toy between his jaws.

Rodimus let out an undignified shout as he felt the suction cup impact harder than needed against his spike cover. He gritted his dentas and growled in pain, squirming under the helicopter as he laughed again. Rodimus’ cheeks burned. 

“All I need from you is a pair of hips and a pair of servos. Easy peasy.” Whirl chirped jovially, taking a moment to bat the false spike now stuck to Rodimus’ panels. He giggled immaturely as it wobbled around before coming to a stop against Rodimus’ belly. 

Rodimus could feel his optics flickering. It was getting unbearable nowadays, even the barest pressure on his panels made his processor fill with useless pleas to open them. He held his vents and stubbornly shoved the popups aside. “Hhhaappy to help, buddy…” He gritted out unconvincingly. 

Whirl laughed again. “It’s a real turn on when you look like you’re nursing an amputation wound when a fella’s trying to get off.” His panels opened with a soft click.

“Is it actually?” Rodimus huffed out in concern.

“No, I’m lying, try to at least look like you want this, man.” Whirl chuckled out breathlessly. He’d let his valve cover open first, leaving his spike retracted. He crouched over Rodimus’ hips and raised his own up carefully. He didn’t immediately sink down onto it, instead opting to pin the shaft of the toy against Rodimus’ abdominal plating with his valve and rut the soft silicone between its lips. Whirl let out a gutteral, pleased sigh. “Aaahh, thats better… hah, and you run so hot it might warm up and feel like the real thing too…” 

Rodimus’ servos gripped the berthmat so tightly he feared it might have ripped. He gritted his dentas impossibly harder, squinting up at Whirl through bleary optics as he watched the ex wrecker rock himself back and forth on the false spike.

It was humiliating enough for it to not be his, it was humiliating enough for Whirl to be laughing at him through his sighs of enjoyment. But the worst of it was that it felt… good. Rodimus struggled to admit that, even to himself. The pressure on his panels was searing, so close but so far, enough sensation to tease and arouse, but not nearly enough to get anywhere. At this point it wasn’t so terrible, just the lightest pressure urgently pushing against his soft valve mesh, but he knew when his array was fully online it would be nightmarish. 

Whirl slid up to the tip of the toy and teased it against his gleaming node. He sighed again, gently, rattling in his vocalizer like it didn’t belong. “You could do with not laying there like a dead body. C’mon, Rodders.” He breathed, squinting his optic at him. Rodimus stiffly brought his hands up to grasp Whirl’s thighs lightly. His unconventional anatomy made this pose easy for him, deftly rolling himself against the captain’s faux spike until it was once again positioned at his valveport. 

“Hold it in place for me.” Whirl ordered. Rodimus was quick to obey, awkwardly holding the toy upright to slide against Whirl’s opening before catching. Whirl let out a hitched little grunt before sinking further down. “Aahhh, yeah, yeah, thats great… That’s really really great…” 

“H-heh, thanks-” Rodimus smirked.

“Shh.” Whirl hissed. The other mech watched as the helicopter steadied himself, his claw twitching to go for his node before he grunted in annoyance and snatched up Rodimus’ hand off his plating. He urgently directed it to his node. “T-there, work on that for me.” 

Rodimus swallowed thickly. “Uhuh- I got it.” His voice came out wobbly and uncertain. He stroked his thumb down over the node’s hood, rolling the bud under the pad of his digit. A bit of pride bloomed in his chassis when Whirl’s vocalizer spat out static, his hips more urgently pressing between Rodimus’ touch and the toy inside of him. There was a ravenous quality to his movements already, chasing, desperate. 

It soothed Rodimus to know he wasn’t the only pent up person in the room.

Rodimus closed out another flurry of prompts in his processor and sat up. Whirl grunted a little, leaning back awkwardly to accommodate his protruding chassis. His claws swung back behind him to steady himself. Rodimus’ free hand shifted around, running carefully over Whirl’s plating to hold the small of his back. He deftly adjusted his digits on the other mech’s node, curling under the hood to stroke it’s underside. The blinking LEDs in it flickered and brightened, unaccustomed to the touch after such a long time. Whirl’s helm leaned into his shoulder, a series of grunts and hoarse wheezes escaping his vocalizer as he chased after his own pleasure. 

Rodimus felt a pang of desperate panic that this might be over too soon. He swallowed it down where it sat warm and uncomfortable in his tanks. It didn’t matter to him how long this took. This was for Whirl, he was here for him and not for his own pleasure. 

He ground his hips up into Whirl’s, letting out a wince as his oversensitive array was mashed harder into the back of his panels. He could feel his processor beginning to slow as it worked through all the stimulant data now clouding it. Rodimus rutted his hips up again until Whirl’s node was bumping against the fat knot at the base of the toy. Whirl let out a jittery little laugh, breathless and unfocused as he rocked his hips up into Rodimus’ digits. He wrapped his thumb and forefinger around the node and tugged ever so lightly, earning a gritted back moan again. 

Rodimus tried his best to keep focus, but he found himself distracted. The press Whirl’s toy gave on his panels each time he came down on it was starting to get painful now. Somehow, for some reason, through his addled state, Rodimus found himself chasing that press. Any stimulation at all would do at this point, it didn’t matter that it ached. If he angled his hips just so he could brush the edge of his own node against his panels. He winced with each movement, his vents beginning to catch and fans kicking up louder. Rodimus’ digits grasped tighter at Whirl’s back, pulling him down into each buck his hips gave.

It wasn’t long after that that Whirl let out a choked off, surprised groan. Charge licked off of his form as he overloaded, shuddering as his transfluid began to pool onto Rodimus’ panels and magnetizer. His engine purred against Rodimus’ loud and rattly as he wriggled his hips against the toy. Rodimus’ intake felt dry as he pet his digits carefully along Whirl’s back strut. 

“Feel good, Whirl?” Rodimus mumbled hoarsely against his chassis. Whirl hummed an affirmative and curled his awkward anatomy further around the captain. He had tucked his chin around his back over Rodimus’ spoiler, his long neck slotting between his kibble easily. It was sort of like spooning a razor snake, but he figured if it made Whirl happy, then that suited him just fine.

It helped that he was warm too. And surprisingly gentle in a way he rarely was. 

After a long moment of comfortable silence, Rodimus began to wriggle, attempting to extract the toy from Whirl’s valve. Whirl let out a displeased grunt, canting his hips to keep it firmly pressed inside. “Not done.” He growled raspily. “Taking a break.” 

“Huh?” Rodimus huffed out confusedly. “Not done- What do you mean, not done?”

“I mean I’m not done!” Whirl snapped, disentangling himself from Rodimus’ cuddling. “Primus, you’re dense, I’ve gone stellar cycles without relief and you haven’t even gone a decacycle without nearly melting your panels off!! Gimme a few more overloads and I'll consider it even.”

“E-even? Whirl, come on- I usually just-” Rodimus started to explain, trying to ignore the heat in his face as Whirl jeered at him. He thought about jabbing back with ‘well after a billion cycles or whatever I figure you’d have some patience’ but was interrupted when Whirl began to grind on the fake spike again. Rodimus gritted his dentas, digits going tight on Whirl’s platting.

“I don’t care what you usually do, this is a special case.” Whirl huffed. “I need this more than you do, cap.” 

Rodimus groaned. That ache had worsened, now his valve was throbbing in both need and pain behind his panels. “Ghhhnn- You’re some kind of case for sure-” He hissed indignantly. Whirl just kept riding him, letting out another hoarse laugh as he leaned back. 

“Well if you’re gonna have an attitude that's fine, but can you make yourself fraggin useful for once?” Whirl panted, letting his spike panel slip open. His spike extended against Rodimus’ abdominal plating. “Need me to tell you what to do with this too?” 

Rodimus sneered at him and took his spike in his hand. “You know, I’m the one doing you a favour.” He hissed, beginning to stroke. 

Whirl’s optic flickered and dimmed. He moaned happily, rutting his hips up into his hand. “W-well yea, but only because you fragged up and you’re kissing aft over it.”

“I could just leave if you’re gonna keep being an afthole at me.” Rodimus leaned up, a spark of anger beginning to burn in his chassis (alongside the lust and humiliation already mingling there). Whirl just eyed him, his optic narrowing down mischievously. 

“Sure you will, cap.” He sneered, going still for a moment atop his lap. Rodimus rubbed his thumb over the tip of Whirl’s spike, drawing the lubricant budding there across the rest of his shaft. He felt the other mech’s engine rumbling quietly, maybe with pleasure, maybe just that cruel amusement that made Rodimus’ tanks twist. 

He twisted his wrist joint, tugging upwards sharply and earning another gasp. Rodimus focused his attention on Whirl’s spike, grinding his hips up carefully into his valve. It seemed to soothe Whirl further from his glare, as he eased himself forward onto his servos and let himself be toyed with. His optic flickered lazily, transfixed on his own spike in Rodimus’ hand. 

He felt that pride gathering up again, not quite overcoming the embarrassment still lingering, but he could still feel it. He stroked quicker, watching his prefluid bead and begin to drip over his digits. His fans whirred quicker than they should have at that display, but it was getting difficult to care.

Rodimus paused with a start as liquid dripped from above onto his servo. He looked up, blinking in confusion at Whirl. Whirl didn’t seem to care, as he was too busy staring at Rodimus’ servo on his spike and drooling onto his fingers. Gross. 

“... Didn’t tell you to stop.” Whirl hissed, another gob of oral solvent flicking out onto his servo. Rodimus swallowed his cringe and kept jerking his hand. He drew his thumb over the textured plating and protoform that made up his spike. He imagined what it might feel like in his valve, how the ribbing would catch each caliper and make him gasp. It was easy to get lost in the thought and forget what this all was for, but it made for a decent distraction as oral solvent continued to leak around the panel that hid Whirl’s intake. He ground his hips up into Whirl’s valve again.

“... I’m gonna get the knot in you.” Rodimus mumbled absently. Whirl snickered, tilting his hips up to show Rodimus a better angle of his valve. The faux spike pushed against the upper nodes of his valveport, stretching the mesh and showing the ex wrecker’s node proudly. He began to bounce his hips again. Rodimus was transfixed by the display, watching as Whirl’s node nudged the girth of the knot with each stroke. He moved his hand faster on Whirl’s spike. 

“There we go, now we’re getting somewhere.” Whirl gasped out, pulling himself up to the tip of the spike before sinking slowly back down until his valve hit the knot. He situated himself more comfortably before bearing down on the knot hard. Rodimus gasped out. Pressure warnings flared in his helm, he could hardly see past his HUD as it filled with emergency popups. Rodimus moaned out wantonly. He could feel his spike housing spiral open, the tip of it nudging urgently right behind where the suction cup had been attached to his panels. Sparks danced over his prone form, his servos flying to grip Whirl’s legs. 

“Hey-! I didn’t say you could stop!” Whirl hissed. Rodimus let out a staticky apology. He wasn’t sure if Whirl understood him, but he was sure it didn’t matter as Whirl roughly pried his servo off his thigh and directed it back to his spike. Rodimus shakily continued to stroke, closing out as many popups as he could, but giving up again as his panels pressed down harder against his desperate array. 

His optics had flickered off at this point, too much stimulus making his processor swirl. A cloud of steam escaped his dermas, heady and thick. Whirl reached forwards and gripped Rodimus’ helm, tipping it down. “Look, look-!” Whirl cackled. Rodimus had to manually force his optics to open, and when he did he was greeted by Whirl’s valve, stretched wide around the fattest point of the toy’s knot. The groan he let out was so painfully desperate it made his plating crawl. Whirl just laughed at him again. Rodimus’ array twitched as he did.

This was too much, it was all too humiliating. Rodimus moved his hand on Whirl’s spike, grasping clumsily at the base and rubbing his thumb against the underside. He could feel the transfluid tube beneath his warmed mesh. It made him salivate. 

Whirl let out a low, pained whine as he shimmied further onto the knot. He panted, bringing his hips up a bit. Rodimus watched the silicone between the knot and suction cup stretch as he did. There was a constant stream of fluid dripping from within Whirl’s valve, making a mess and mingling with Rodimus’ own as it leaked from his panels. 

Rodimus was shocked from his reverie as Whirl finally slammed his valve down, forcing the rest of the knot firmly inside. Rodimus cried out desperately, curling forwards as his spike twitched and throbbed in pain behind his panels. Whirl let out a deep, satisfied moan, leaning back as he rocked his way through a second overload. Transfluid splattered across Rodimus’ chassis and abdomen, some hitting him in the face as he wheezed in pain. Tears pricked at his optics, but he paid them no mind. 

He was much too busy grinding his dentas and bucking into Whirl’s valve. The pain was searing, but Rodimus’ slow, needy processor keened for more of it, more of anything, anything that would touch his spike, even if it dumped warnings and popups into Rodimus’ helm. He shuddered out an indulgent groan, leaning his chin against the end of Whirls chassis as he continued to thrust up into his warmth. 

“H-hah- frag, Rodders, that hit the spot…” Whirl rasped, sighing as he savoured the feeling of the thick knot inside of him. “Primus you look like you’re gonna meltdown.” He reached forwards, drawing a rough claw down the side of his cheek, then up to his crest to push him over onto his back. He adjusted his position slightly, curling over Rodimus’ frame and beginning to bounce his hips. With every movement, it ground his spikehead against his panels, dragging painfully back and forth, stinging and sharp. 

Rodimus groaned, rolling his helm back and shivering. It hurt. It hurt and it made his tanks feel hot and tight, but in his delirium he rolled his hips back to meet Whirl’s, chasing each and every lance of pain, desperate like a turbofox in heat. 

“Y’know, I hope you don’t get like this when it’s your actual spike someone’s riding.” Whirl snickered. “That’d be embarrassing for you.”

‘Not as embarrassing as fragging you’ he might have said. All that came out was a long, whining, mindless “Please!”

Whirl was getting rougher, grinding and frotting his spike against Rodimus’ abdomen as he slammed his pelvis down against his panels over and over and over. He could feel each shock of charge from his pedes to his finials, rattling in his dentas and across his glossa with nowhere to go. He heard a wet, sucking pop as the knot pulled free from Whirl’s valve, followed by another as he popped it back in. “Hah- You look so stupid, cap.” He huffed out. Rodimus whined, his hips bucking involuntarily. Whirl’s valve sank down to meet him, earning another pathetic whimper from the captain. He could feel the warmth of his valve from behind his panels, it was driving him mad with need. “It’s a good look on you, not so stuck up like usual. Maybe I should do this more often.”

Rodimus wheezed and rolled his head back. There was no space for anything in his processor but this all consuming, depraved lust. In a flash of tank-churning lucidity, Rodimus realized he was getting off, not just on that stinging pain, but on being used. Once, with Swerve, was an accident, twice, with Brainstorm and Perceptor, was a coincidence. But now… He peered up blearily at Whirl, bobbing his hips and gripping at Rodimus’ waist with his claws, drool frothing and bubbling from his intake with each hedonistic bounce. This was becoming a pattern. 

Whirl shifted his hips again, more directly grinding Rodimus’ spikehead against his panels, and the embarrassment of the situation washed away like sand in the tide. Rodimus wailed. His optics stung with washer fluid tears, his hands frantically searching for anything to grab onto. Whirl helpfully, roughly grasped his wrist and pushed it back onto his spike. 

“Do your job, Roddy, Primus,” He snarled, adjusting himself to roll his hips between Rodimus’ hand and the toy, “I give you one thing to do, and you can’t even do that?! Fragging get it together!” 

Rodimus hiccuped and nodded, doing as he was told and shakily beginning to stroke again. “S-sorry-” 

“Don’t get all weepy on me-” Whirl scoffed, dragging his spike between Rodimus’ digits. His processor felt fuzzy and unfocused, his glossa thick and dumb in his mouth. Fluid dripped down his cheeks. His array was starting to go numb. He drooled stupidly up at Whirl, sniffling. Whirl rolled his optic.  “Aw, what, you want me to stop?”

“Nn-No-!” Rodimus gasped out, wriggling his hips mindlessly against Whirl’s. Whirl shivered a bit, his optic shrinking to a pinpoint. 

“Oh wow you really are a freak huh?” He whispered, seeming surprised. There was hunger in his expression. Rodimus shook his head weakly. He wasn’t, he didn’t mean to be, he wasn’t. Whirl just cackled hoarsely. “You are, you’re getting off on it, even though it hurts doesn’t it?”

“H-hurts-” Rodimus echoed, optics flickering and dim as he chased the pain and pleasure Whirl’s bouncing had offered. 

“Figures you’d be a masochist, you were already shareware.” Whirl hissed, curling over him and grasping his face in his claws. Rodimus twisted his wrist and kept pumping Whirl’s spike, faster, quicker, he needed to make him overload again. “It’d take a sick pervert to frag up as bad as you and use it as an excuse for your crew to abuse your frame like a cheap whore.” 

Rodimus’ moan sounded more like a sob than he meant it to. He was dimly aware he was fully crying at this point, but it didn’t matter. It was too much. He was getting closer, he could feel his own spike twitching in his housing, almost in time with Whirl’s. 

“Ohhh, you’re a mess, Roddy…” He hissed, leaning down to murmur in his audial. “Does it hurt that badly, cap?”

“U-Uhhaha– uhhuh-” Rodimus hiccuped out weakly. He swiped his thumb over Whirl’s tip. Need burned his frame. He felt like he was going to die.

“Good.” Whirl growled. 

Rodimus blue-screened the second he realized he was overloading. He could dimly hear his own staticky, cracking cry, accompanied by Whirl’s as he spent his spike across Rodimus’ plating. More clearly, he could feel every throb, ache, and sting in his array, his sensors screaming with overstimulation as Whirl rode out his own overload against his panels. Rodimus couldn’t think, couldn’t move, his joints locked as he shivered and quaked through his climax. It was painful, it was hellish. 

Primus, it was exactly what he needed.

*

Rodimus wasn’t sure he wanted to be seen at this moment. In fact he wasn’t sure he wanted to ever be seen again but that was neither here nor there. 

“Keep this between us, but I think Swerve has been price gouging.” Whirl murmured in his audial. Rodimus fought off a shiver. The position was dangerously close to how it had been back in his hab an hour or two ago. 

Rodimus just looked at him, unconvinced. “Is that so?”

“It feels more expensive.” Whirl said simply, carefully grasping his cube and taking a sip with his straw. 

“You know usually you buy a fella a drink before you take him home.” Rodimus joked, allowing himself a sip of his own cube. The high grade burned on his already raw throat, but left a sticky-sweet aftertaste. 

“I’m trailblazing a new and fun backwards version of the rule.” Whirl shrugged. “If you have complaints, you can talk with my press team.” 

Rodimus chuckled quietly. He absently swirled his engex around in his cube. It was getting harder to deny that the way he was acting was anything but his own doing. He shouldn’t have found it hot that he kept getting used, he shouldn’t have found it hot that he kept getting bullied, and he definitely shouldn’t have found it hot that the sex he was having was painful. In fact he should probably talk to someone about that…

He mentally shifted some files around in his processor, accessing his checklist of one on ones. He found quickly that Rung’s designation did not have a tick next to it. 

Rodimus didn’t exactly feel like getting psychiatric help would necessarily make his situation less awful, and usually he would have avoided it like the plague… but if he was going to be in the area anyways, he supposed it couldn’t hurt…

[archie-sunshine]

Survey Says-! (18+ Rodimus/EVERYONE)

Chapter 5: Software Update (Rodimus/Brainstorm/Perceptor)

Rodimus is NOT bitter about the results of the crew satisfaction survey, in fact, he’s fully prepared to change! He’s determined to change his crew’s minds, and what better way to do so than to get to know them- in the carnal sense that is. 

There are no problems with this plan in Rodimus’s mind. There are many in Ultra Magnus’s. Magnus engages in some unfortunate(for Rodimus) damage control as head of Cybertronian Resources. Rodimus is not easily deterred. 

Other Chapters Here! Read On AO3 Here!

____________________________

FIC TAGS: Rodimus/Everyone(But y’know, not like. EVERYONE. Just a lot of various background characters and also more specifically with some others), Takes place post dark cybertron, but pre the whole ship disappearing thing and the mutiny, smut, Chastity, denial, Rodimus is a slut, Ongoing humiliation, HR Violations as comedy, Ultra Magnus is clueless, sticky sexual interfacing, comedy, sexual comedy, dubious consent (if you squint and tilt your head), contains illustrations

____________________________

Authors notes: Okay you guys simply MUST hear me out on this one okay? this one was the fun chapter for archie to have fun writing. okay? okay. btw this chapter is extra long bc it kinda got away from me

CHAPTER TAGS: Plug n play, brain fuckery, submission, bondage, brief loss of bodily control, threesome, throatfucking, thigh fucking, rodimus is ignored in favour of whatever the fuck percey and brainstorm have going on

The broken dataslug felt like it was a thousand tons bouncing around in Rodimus’s subspace. He could keep kicking himself about his fuck up, and probably would be for the forseeable future, but he was on the way to fix things. He could faintly hear the sounds of work down the hallway from the lab, the fizzle of sparks and the whirr of machinery. Rodimus prayed that he’d catch Perceptor alone again.

He tried not to feel too upset when he heard the sounds of conversation floating from the laboratory.

“-mit its impressive, certainly, but the scale is a bit much for our current facilities, wouldn’t you think?” Perceptor’s voice reached Rodimus first, even and calm even slightly shouted over the sound of the power tools working.

“You lack vision, dear Percey, I think we could absolutely handle it!!” Brainstorm called back. 

Rodimus paused, waiting for something from Nautica before approaching the door. He started as the door swung open on its own, the aforementioned femme jolting at the sight of him. “Oh! Hello captain.” She greeted, offering a cheery little smile. 

“Nautica.” Rodimus smiled back politely. His finials twitched a bit as he felt her field tense back against her just a bit too late to hide the knowingness in it. He attempted to retain a cool demeanor. “Where are you off to?”

“Just on my way out!” she chirped, averting optic contact. “Going to Swerve’s, maybe I’ll see you there later, bye!” The bot scooted around him, ducking under his spoiler and trotting off down the hallway.

“Rodimus?” Perceptor called from within. 

Slag. He could already hear the sound of work halting as his presence became fully known. The speedster stepped into the lab, the door closing behind him with a pneumatic hiss. “Yes, hi, sorry for dropping by unexpectedly.” 

“...Again?” Perceptor added, biting back a smirk. He was sitting at one of his work stations, in the process of putting something together that Rodimus had no hope of understanding. Brainstorm was similarly engaged, though as Rodimus had entered he’d taken the time to spin lazily around in his seat, resting his cheek knowingly in his palm with a suggestive look in his eyes. 

“... Yes. Again.” Rodimus muttered. 

“And how could us two geniuses be of help, Rodimus?” Brainstorm prompted, amusement clear in his tone. A flare of heat churned in Rodimus’ tanks, his optics flicking back and forth between the other two mech’s faceplates. “... What’s with these looks, what’s going on here?” Rodimus snapped out, crossing his arms. 

Brainstorm snorted involuntarily, quickly resetting his vocalizer. “WELL, Perceptor was just recently telling us about a very interesting project he worked on-” 

“YOU TOLD??” Rodimus blurted out incredulously, mortification washing over his frame. It wasn’t as if he was mad at Perceptor for kissing and telling, in fact he hoped most of his partners were inclined to do so. It was more… the whole vulnerability of the matter, that someone else knew he’d been desperate enough to ask for help.

Perceptor shrugged a bit. “I talk about my projects with Brainstorm most of the time we work in the lab.” Projects. Rodimus fought off a shiver. That was what he was in his eyes, then, a project… that should have been insulting, probably.

“Good for morale.” Brainstorm agreed, beaming at his lab partner. He then turned back to Rodimus, all affection in his expression melting out in favour of a mocking smile. “You’d know all about morale, wouldn’t you, captain?”

If he weren’t already in enough trouble with cybertronian resources, Rodimus might have throttled him. “Yep.” He gritted out instead. “Look- I just need a new copy of the… project you gave me.” 

Perceptor cocked his head in confusion. “A new copy? Is there something wrong with the last one I gave you, Rodimus?” 

Rodimus shriveled. It was embarrassing enough to come crawling back, it was embarrassing enough to ask for a new one, but now with someone else- someone else not sworn to secrecy(with some apparent caveats)- in the lab? This was torture. 

He sheepishly reached into his subspace, pawing around for a moment as he approached Perceptor’s desk. He daintily set the crushed dataslug on the table there, offlining his optics in preparation for the reaction. 

Rodimus was right to do so, clearly, as Brainstorm burst into laughter. Perceptor cleared his vocalizer, clearly covering up a snicker of his own as he prodded at the shattered circuitry with a stylus. “... You broke it already?”

Rodimus looked away, fidgeting uncomfortably under the two scientists' gazes. “... I actually broke it the same night you gave it to me-”

“THE SAME NIGHT??!” Brainstorm gawked, now peering over Rodimus’ shoulder. “Oh you poor thing.” He crooned mockingly, patting him on his back plating gently. 

Perceptor reached into a drawer of his desk, absently picking out a new dataslug and placing it on the table. “Alright, you have a seat Rodimus, I’ll get you a new one.” 

Rodimus blinked. “Oh- You don’t need me back on the-” He gestured at the table he’d been on during his last visit. 

Perceptor finally glanced up from his work, raising a brow ridge at him. “... No? I have all my work backed up here.” He said, wiggling a datapad in his hand. 

“Oh. Okay.” Rodimus blushed a bit, feeling stupid for assuming. It wasn’t as if he’d wanted to spend another half hour getting toyed with and experimented on like some sort of science project… He’d just come to get a new copy of his magic overload stick, that was all. 

This was a good thing. 

Rodimus wasn’t disappointed even a bit. 

Brainstorm brushed past him, now leaning over Perceptor’s shoulder to read the datapad. He mouthed the glyphs on the screen, brows knitting together as he squinted at the lines of code. 

“Feh.” Brainstorm sniffed finally, rolling his optics. 

Perceptor paused, turning to face the other with a pointed look. “What?”

“... I don’t know, I just feel like you played it a bit safe, Percey.” Brainstorm said. He had that tone to his voice that he only seemed to get when he was trying to play it cool while also silently begging you to ask him what he meant by that. 

“What do you mean by that?” Perceptor scoffed. 

“I don’t know, I just…” He leaned back, arranging his frame into a haughtier, annoyingly smug pose. He examined his digits nonchalantly. “... Expected it to be a little bit more interesting.” 

Rodimus swallowed, optics bouncing between the two of them. “Interesting…?” He mumbled out.

“Well, the client in question didn’t ASK for interesting, he asked for some help, and I gave it to him, and he was happy with it!” Perceptor huffed, spinning in his chair to further face Brainstorm. 

“And I’m sure he was! I’m only saying that there are a lot more interesting ways one could have solved the problem, and your methods of efficiency are always very admirable, Percey.” Brainstorm put his servos up placatively, his tone infuriatingly condescending. 

Perceptor scoffed again, standing up from his seat. “Well, if you’re so certain you could have done a better job, why don’t you prove it, Brainstorm?” He sneered, jabbing an accusatory digit into Brainstorm’s chest. How Perceptor managed to remain oblivious to the giddiness in Brainstorm’s field was a mystery to Rodimus, it was nearly bowling him over. 

“I’d be happy to!” Brainstorm grinned, swinging his helm around to face Rodimus. “What do you say, Captain?”

Rodimus thought for a long few klikks. Brainstorm was just as smart as Perceptor, he could likely play Rodimus’s processor like an instrument just like him too, but his disposition was generally more… unpredictable… in a way that might not have been conducive to his goals. 

“... Fine, but I don’t want to hear about anyone else hearing about this, okay?” Rodimus conceded. It was only when he saw the look in Brainstorm’s optics go from excited to elated that Rodimus considered he might have made the wrong choice.

*

Rodimus was beginning to feel like a bit of a third wheel. Which was odd, because it was him who was currently laying on an examination slab, tilted just a bit upright, while the two scientists bickered over him. He could see his own diagnostics and files brought up on a myriad of screens and datapads that Brainstorm had hooked up around him. Rodimus wriggled uncomfortably on the slab, itching a bit at Brainstorm’s plug in his diagnostic port. He felt less like a mech and more like a missile the scientist was working on. The thought made Rodimus’ plating feel hot and uncomfortable.

“Well see, there’s the problem-” Brainstorm tsked, snapping Rodimus from his thoughts as his servo came down to grip the crest of his helm and tip it to show Perceptor the interfacing port on it’s back. “Who puts an interfacing port at the back of someone’s head?” 

“H-hey!” Rodimus started, giving Brainstorm a pointed glare. 

“Ahh… I see, that definitely could pose an issue then.” Perceptor nodded a bit. 

“Not if you use a topical patch instead of a plug.” Brainstorm waved his servo dismissively, releasing Rodimus’s helm to return to his work. 

“But then that makes it harder to take off if you want to stop.” Perceptor said, as if it were an obvious problem. 

Brainstorm just laughed, “I have many doubts that Rodimus would worry about stopping.” 

“I can- I’m still here you know!” Rodimus snapped. 

“Well then you can answer our query then, would you feel more comfortable with a datastick or a topical patch?” Perceptor asked, holding up either one in his servos. Rodimus turned his helm to consider them. 

“Uhh-” He began, cut off quickly when he felt the shiver of a command being typed into his processor. 

[Action input- Test- Tactile sensors]

Rodimus felt a shudder ripple over his body, each of his sensory inputs warming up briefly before turning off, showing each one was in proper working order. The mech rolled his digits into fists, letting out a shaky vent. “E-either one is fine- I don’t- I don’t care.” He offered helpfully. 

Perceptor frowned and sighed. “Fine then.” He broke his attention off from Rodimus when he heard another chuckle from Brainstorm, his frown sharpening. 

“Ahh, Perceptor… Really, this code is just adorable, it’s like you didn’t even think of all the ways one can manipulate a sexual code.” Brainstorm mused, mostly to himself. 

[Action input- Stimulus reaction- Anterior node- 50%]

Going from zero sensory input to fifty directly on his node was not what Rodimus would describe as ‘cool’ or ‘fun’. A sudden shout punched itself from Rodimus’ chest, his hips jumping off the table as if his valve were attempting to escape the pressure. His pedes came down with a clang, his body arched up in a quivering bridge. “A-AH- FRAG- Brainstorm-!” Rodimus gritted out, waiting for the stimulation to go as he squirmed. 

“See, you probably noticed a big amount of his pleasure based coding centers around his valve, right, but-” Brainstorm started to explain, gesturing with his stylus at one of the screens for Perceptor’s benefit. Rodimus blearily noted the diagram was some quick three dimensional mockup of his array. “You know even if a majority of the frame’s favoured stimulant nodes are in one place, it doesn’t mean you-”

“BRAINSTORM!!” Rodimus wailed out, still writhing. The pleasure was burning, his body alight with charge demanding a place to go. 

[Cease action input]

Brainstorm sighed and rolled his optics as Rodimus went limp on the table. The whole situation would be sexy if Rodimus were more into the blatant negligence the two of them were clearly treating him to. He tried to focus on steadying his fans as they kicked on. 

“As I was saying, I think there are more interesting nodes you could stimulate, in addition to those in the array, to give a more interesting experience.” Brainstorm finished. “At least for a project as boring as ‘data stick that makes you overload’ anyway.” 

“B-boring? Primus, Brainstorm, I should’ve considered how scientifically stimulating my own problems were for you before coming here, that’s on me.” Rodimus huffed out indignantly, pinning the jet with a glare. 

“Oh, your problems are incredibly scientifically stimulating Rodimus, I can think of a dozen ways to solve your whole panels plight off the top of my head, but Perceptor chose the most boring solution-” Brainstorm rambled exasperatedly, going through a few more codes before hitting the enter button on his datapad. 

[Action input- test- oral tactile sensitivity]

[Action input- test- audial sensitivity]

[Action input- test- tactile sensitivity- thigh and hip plating]

Rodimus squirmed. His optics flickered a bit as his processor fought to follow all commands at once. A fuzzy, tingly wash came over his glossa and dentas, then the same over his thigh and hip plating, as if someone were stroking over each bit of plating very lightly. Finally, his audials became suddenly more sensitive, taking in each minute whirr and buzz of the room around him. The sensations came to a slow, easing stop after only a few seconds, leaving Rodimus with an odd feeling in his tanks. 

“Boring?” Rodimus finally breathed out, glancing at Brainstorm. 

Brainstorm didn’t make optic contact with him, he was too busy inputting commands. “Yes, boring.” 

“Would you mind enlightening us then, Brainstorm, on what the dozen other ideas you had are?” Perceptor prompted, folding his arms and leaning back in his seat. 

[Action input- Sensory stimulus reaction- valve calipers(1-10) 15%]

[Action input- Sensory stimulus reaction- valve nodes(1-6, 10-18) 10%]

Rodimus moaned lowly, offlining his optics and gritting his dentas. That felt more familiar, his valve squeezing around a phantom sensation, more akin to digits than a full sized spike. 

“Well if we wanted to go closer to brute force, there’s technically nothing in the statement ‘crew members are not allowed to remove the magnetizer until the period of punishment is over’ doesn’t extend to one… applying a local anesthetic and removing the lower modesty panels entirely.” Brainstorm started. 

“N-no- thats- I don’t want that thanks-” Rodimus’s tanks squeezed uncomfortably. His legs instinctively came together around his panels, earning him a tap from Brainstorm’s stylus.

“Keep those open please, I need to keep an eye on your panels. In fact you could do with squirming a lot less- Ah, don’t worry.” Brainstorm was speaking a thousand miles a minute, leaving Rodimus’s already foggy head spinning. 

[Action input- disengage automotive directives from user: Rodimus- neck down]

Rodimus’s entire body went slack with a thud as his legs hit the slab. He let out a choked off cry, willing his frame to move and finding himself limp as a ragdoll.

“W-wait!” Rodimus squeaked out. 

“Don’t panic, your body is in good servos, Roddy.” Brainstorm cooed, patting his leg briefly before going back to his work. “Now, I know you’re still keeping up those one on ones, right, Captain?” 

“Y-yeah- Hey, listen, I know I move a lot but this is-” Rodimus began to protest, trying his hardest to ignore the ongoing sensation in his valve. 

“Relax. I’ve got a way to make those more fun for you if you’re going to be using your intake…~” Brainstorm sing songed, his optics scrunching in an impish little smile. “Here, hold on, I’ll give you your body back in a second, just-” He began, rolling his seat away out of Rodimus’s view and returning with a few yellow painted metal loops. He handed two of them to Perceptor, who seemed to understand the idea just fine as the two of them arranged Rodimus’s limp form into a wide, spread out X shape. 

Rodimus dimly felt the familiar sensation of four magnetizer cuffs activating and latching to the metal of the table. “W-why the frag do you even have those in your lab-?” Rodimus asked. 

“Don’t ask.” Brainstorm answered, “They’ll just keep you in place for me while I work alright? Do I have your consent to mess with your mouth?” He made a show of asking, clearly more for Perceptor’s benefit than Rodimus’

[Action input- previous input disengaged]

Rodimus was quiet for a moment, the ongoing feelings in his array making him feel like he was about to start leaking. He gave his restraints a testing wiggle, finding himself stuck, but still able to squirm, to a more controlled degree. He cleared his vocalizer, his intake feeling dry as he spoke. “... Yeah okay.” 

Brainstorm’s optics flashed just long enough for Rodimus to feel regret before the data inputs came through.

[Action input- cease all inputs- area:Valve]

[Action input- reduce gag reflex- 100%]

[Action input- increase tactile sensitivity- Glossa-60%]

[Action input- increase tactile sensitivity- Dermas-60%]

[Action input- increase tactile sensitivity- Intake- 40%]

[Action input- increase oral lubricant production- 50%]

[Action input- sensory link- tactile oral sensation = pleasure center activation]

Rodimus was overwhelmed for a moment, letting out a glitchy, confused grunt as his intake tingled with sudden sensation. He ran his glossa over his dentas experimentally, turning more pink at the shudder of pleasure that ran down his spinal strut at the feeling. “Oh- Brainst- ah-” Rodimus wheezed. Even just moving his mouth to speak felt oddly good, every brush of his tongue over the expanse of his palate suddenly feeling charged with arousal. 

“A brief look at your more recent updated data in your pleasure centers shows general intake sensitivity has already had some spikes on its own, I’ve just..” Brainstorm trailed off, reaching out to playfully tap Rodimus’ lip with his stylus. The feeling sent tingles down Rodimus’ frame directly to his panels. “Heightened the effect. You can call me a genius now.” 

Rodimus groaned weakly, too busy squirming in his bindings to pay the scientist much mind. The feeling was weird, good, but weird. He appreciated the thought but it wasn’t like he wanted to go around getting a reputation for finishing just from oral. He had some semblance of dignity to uphold.

A semblance of dignity he was apparently giving up for the time being as he greedily ran his glossa against the roof of his intake, sending sparks skittering across his plating. Rodimus keened, optics flickering and going dim with want. 

“Really, this is just gratuitous.” Perceptor scoffed, his faceplate bright pink from Rodimus’ lascivious display. He turned his vision away from him to Brainstorm. “When do you have the time to think of this kind of… thing?” 

“Unimportant,” Brainstorm dismissed, standing up and setting his datapad aside. “I have more tests I’d like to run! Rodimus, be a dear and open wide for me?” The scientist patted Rodimus’ cheek, holding his stylus up and wiggling it between two fingers. 

The captain complied, letting his jaw drop open and his tongue hang out. 

“Very good, Rodimus.” Brainstorm cooed, running the edge of his stylus slowly down the flat of the other mech’s glossa. Rodimus’s valve cycled and squeezed around nothing, his spike twitching and stirring in its housing. 

“Nnghhuhuuuhh…” Rodimus answered intelligently. He dimly heard Perceptor clear his vocalizer, but chose not to care, instead opting to curl his glossa around the edge of the stylus and stroke against it. 

Brainstorm chuckled, freeing his stylus and running it along Rodimus’s top derma. “It’s very easy to remap pleasure centers to elsewhere in someone’s frame, I could do this to anywhere you liked, but I figured this would be the most advantageous, yes?” 

“Y-yeahh…” Rodimus mumbled breathlessly, trying to keep himself as under control as possible. He shook his helm to try and clear the fogginess in it, only to let out a wanton moan when Brainstorm’s free servo came down on his helm crest to hold him still. 

“Try not to thrash so much, or I’ll have to take your bodily control away again, and we don’t want that, do we?” Brainstorm hissed, before letting go of his stylus in favour of gripping Rodimus’ tongue between his middle and index digit. Rodimus’ squirmed, trying to hold his helm still as his back arched up off the table. He felt like his whole frame was on fire in the strangest way. He fought to keep from making a further fool of himself, but it was a losing battle. Brainstorm released his glossa, instead shifting his servo to pet his digits over the surface of it. 

Rodimus moaned dumbly and began to suck at them on reflex, letting his optics fully go offline as Brainstorm worked his digits gently in his mouth. 

Brainstorm leaned down, chuckling as he murmured hotly in Rodimus’ audial. “And  I could go further than this, too, I could increase some more of your priorities, make every bit of these  ‘apologies’ make you-” 

“Alright, I think that’s- that’s quite enough, Brainstorm.” Perceptor interjected. Brainstorm drew his digits from the captain’s mouth with a wet pop, standing back up straight. Rodimus definitely didn’t crane his neck after his servo, and absolutely did not let out an embarrassing noise at having his mouth empty.

“Oh not at all!! We haven’t even tested his throat’s responses!” Brainstorm feigned ignorance at the lewdness of it all, putting his still wet servo on his hip as he gestured across Rodimus’ coolant slick frame. “I’m going to put my spike in his mouth and see-”

Perceptor sputtered for a moment. “This is hardly scientific-” 

“Well sure, but it’s more fun if you pretend it is, isn’t it?” Brainstorm chirped, stepping around the side of the table to stand by Rodimus’ head. He hit a button on a nearby console and the slab tilted back until Rodimus’ helm was level with Brainstorm’s modesty panel, at which point Brainstorm carefully rearranged the other bot so that his head was hanging languidly over the edge of the table. “How are you doing down there, Roddy?”

“F-feels weird… good…” Rodimus panted. Had he been more eloquent at the time he might have said something like ‘it feels like my panels are going to fall off’ or ‘please put something in me’, but Rodimus’ foggy mind somehow spared him that added embarrassment. He simply stared at Brainstorm’s panels hopefully, letting out a relieved whine as he saw them transform away. 

“Yeah… thats good, I’m glad. Percey, if you wouldn’t mind monitoring the datascreens while I test?” Brainstorm asked, absently petting over Rodimus’ jaw and neck as he coaxed his spike from it’s housing.

“Er- Of course, thats just fine.” Perceptor agreed, turning to watch the readouts with his faceplate almost entirely pink. 

Rodimus craned his neck out to Brainstorm’s slowly extending spike, hungry for it in a way he’d never felt before. The first brush of the tip against his dermas sent shivers down his back strut, his engines revving involuntarily as he rolled his tongue against the slit. All this teasing and excess charge couldn’t be good for him, but by this point, Rodimus hardly cared. 

He let out a grateful moan as Brainstorm slid his spike carefully into Rodimus’ intake. The captain was vaguely aware at this point that he was salivating more than usual as a ribbon of oral solvent slid headily down his cheeks. Rodimus was startled at the ease with which Brainstorm managed to press his spike into his throat, but any untoward feelings about the matter melted away, replaced with arousal and desperation as his body blazed with charge. He sucked greedily at the intrusion in his mouth, laving his tongue over the topside of Brainstorm’s spike. 

“Aaahh, that’s just wonderful-” Brainstorm sighed out, leaning over Rodimus’ body to stroke his servos over the speedster’s overcharged chassis. “I’m so good it scares me sometimes.” 

Perceptor chuckled dryly. “All vitals look to be reacting normally. Though, the lack of gag reflex could pose some worries couldn’t it?” 

“Oh, you’re too cautious.” Brainstorm dismissed him, beginning to pump his hips into Rodimus’ throat. He disregarded the muffled groans Rodimus was making in favour of teasing his digits along the sensitive edges of the other mech’s spoiler. 

“Hardly! I just think things through longer than you do.” Perceptor chuckled again, but there was a note of breathlessness to his voice. 

Again, that was probably lost on Rodimus, who was too busy straining his wrists against his restraints in an attempt to grab Brainstorm and press his spike even further into his mouth. He needed it, needed it in a way the other mech couldn’t hope to understand. He swallowed his own drool uselessly, mewling at the feeling of his throat tightening and rippling against the scientist’s spike. He thought he might die if he didn’t keep using him. Every intrusion was getting to him, the feeling of his digits groping at his prone form, the weight of the spike in his mouth, the burning connection of the plug in his diagnostic port. He was helpless. The feeling was so alien, so wrong, so frightening, and yet all Rodimus could do was moan for more. 

“Mm-muh-!” He moaned out, gurgling in mindless ecstasy as Brainstorm redoubled his efforts of pounding into his mouth. 

“You seem a little bothered, Percey~...” Brainstorm cooed to his partner mockingly. “Is something wrong?”

Perceptor reset his vocalizer with a meaningful click. “No- Nothing, its uhm… only a very… unprofessional display…” 

“Well… I’m sure he wouldn’t mind helping you out as well, if all this… unprofessionalism is making it hard for you to focus…!” Brainstorm’s words were heavy with implication and lust, each snap of his hips rocking Rodimus’ frame. The meaning behind his retort finally dawned on Rodimus’ groggy mind, and the bound mech writhed and squirmed, drool bubbling from his lips as he whimpered in need. “See?” Brainstorm chuckled darkly, thumbing lightly at the bulge his spike left in Rodimus’ throat. 

It was hard for Rodimus to focus on much other than the weight in his mouth, so he continued to worship, rolling his glossa over each node and biolight and ridge, drinking in each involuntary twitch and gasp Brainstorm let out. He hardly noticed when the magnets on his ankles came away, barely gave any mind as the table below his lower half bowed out, only really giving the movement any mind when he felt Perceptors delicate servos grasping his thighs. His digits seared against Rodimus’ leaking, overcharged panels, making the captain buck and squirm and squeal around Brainstorm’s spike. 

“R-Rodimus, is this alright with you?” Perceptor asked, voice heavy with need. Rodimus nearly cried out when Brainstorm pulled his hips back to allow him to respond.

He coughed and swallowed, his mouth drowned in oral solvent and prefluid. “G-hhahh- Go f-for it, please- f-frag- anything-” Rodimus babbled, leaning out to try and get the spike back into his mouth. He whined low in his vocalizer as Brainstorm slipped his spike back home, soothingly petting over Rodimus’ chassis and neck. Rodimus went slack under the two mechs’ ministrations, luxuriating in the rolling sensation crashing over his frame. He felt Perceptor’s spike pressurize between his slick thighs, drinking in the gasp he let out as it slid against the charged heat of his modesty panel. 

Rodimus could hardly tell the magnetizer was there anymore, the ache of his array was negligible when compared to the heat of the spikes in and against him and the servos gripping at his dewy plating. His mind went blank, arcs of charge rippling over his body with each thrust, both of the other mecha grounding their own lust through him. Rodimus was lost in it, swallowing intakefuls of solvent and fluid, face growing sticky and messy as his mouth hummed with perverse delight. 

He could feel every bit of his plating vibrating, every inch of metal and protoform alight with need. Pleasure gathered heavy in his tanks, drawing him closer and closer to the edge. He couldn’t get enough, squirming between the two scientists, puffs of hot air filling the room with steam. He swallowed around Brainstorm’s spike and felt his valve clench under his panels. Perceptor’s spike between his thighs sped up with a punched out moan from the microscope, his digits digging into Rodimus’ plating and threatening to leave scratches there. 

Rodimus felt Brainstorm’s rhythm begin to stutter, his servos coming down to grip the table as he chased after his overload desperately. “O-Oh- Perceptor-” Brainstorm huffed out, steam billowing from the slits in his mask. 

Rodimus might have been offended. He should have been offended. The blatant way with which the scientist ignored him, even as he spent his overload down Rodimus’ throat should have made the captain bitter. But instead that heat just gripped him deeper, his engines roaring with lust as Rodimus himself tumbled over into his own climax. His body was strung out taught, writhing and groaning in ecstasy. Transfluid spilled from his dermas and over his face, spurting in equal measure around the seams of his modesty panels and magnetizer. He dimly heard Perceptor gasp and moan at the display, and keened as he felt jets of fluid paint lewdly up his abdomen and across his chassis.

Rodimus laid bare, steaming, panting as Brainstorm slowly dragged his spike out of his intake. Rodimus’ head swirled. He barely recognized the feeling of Brainstorm unplugging his diagnostic cable, hardly noted the stickiness coating the better part of his faceplate and crotch. He allowed himself to bask, savouring the afterglow of his much needed overload as it hung cloyingly to his frame. 

*

Rodimus couldn’t help but feel like he was being rushed out. By the time he was being ushered to the door, he was still a bit out of sorts, a topical patch containing the affectionately named ‘intake interface initiative’ code in his servo. 

“Let me know if there are any bugs even though I know there won’t be! And happy trails, take care, buh-bye!” Brainstorm said hurriedly, offering a slightly breathless grin as he shoved Rodimus through the door of the laboratory. 

“Uh- Yeah, thanks for-” Rodimus was only able to get the sentence halfway out before the door slid closed behind him. He let out a long, tired sigh, massaging his vocalizer lightly. It was a little bit raw, for good reason. “... Cool.” He muttered, beginning his trek back to his office. 

Rodimus eyed the topical patch in its casing, flipping it between his fingers casually. He wouldn’t admit this to Brainstorm or Perceptor(or probably anyone else), but the thing kind of scared him. He was certain there had to be some other bug in there that made his processor work wrong, otherwise he wouldn’t have… well he wouldn’t have gotten so into whatever that was.  

He reminded himself frequently what these meetings were: a means to an end. He was getting to know his crew better, he was making a connection, he was showing them he was dependable and generous. What was more generous than sucking spike? Not much, from Rodimus’ point of view. 

It was weird to let himself get so lost in the whole matter, like that code had made him do. Yeah, made him. That was it. It wasn’t so bad to let himself enjoy the attention now and then, especially when he’d actually been able to use his array during, but if he got that carried away… just from sucking someone off? That was a bit embarrassing. 

Some part of him considered the situation- prone, experimented upon, disregarded but praised, teased… used. It couldn’t have been any of those feelings that had made him act that way.

It was the code! 

It must have been. 

Rodimus shook his helm, tucking the patch into his subspace delicately. Some parts of his plating still felt sticky, his jaw ached, his vocalizer was raw, there were black paint transfers around his thighs and hips from Perceptor’s groping. He looked like a cheap shareware whore. 

…

Rodimus closed out the prompt in his processor to open his panels for what felt like the thousandth time. He let the door to his office close behind him and sat uncomfortably at his desk.

He eyed the fresh stack of datapads and the order his workspace had been brought to and frowned. Ultra Magnus had been there while he was away. Again. 

Rodimus took a long, deep vent in. 

Just 5 more cycles until his midway meeting with Ultra Magnus. He’d lie his aft off about how much he’d changed, he’d get that magnetizer off, and then things would go back to normal. He’d get through the list once and for all, and everyone would finally recognize how much he did for his crew. 

Rodimus briefly considered what it would look like having to endure another 16 cycles if he was unable to convince him. 

He swallowed thickly and did the unthinkable to keep his mind off that grim idea.

Rodimus started working on his datapads.

[archie-sunshine]

Survey Says-! (18+ Rodimus/EVERYONE)

Chapter 4: *Hacker Voice*I'm In. (Rodimus/Perceptor)

Rodimus is NOT bitter about the results of the crew satisfaction survey, in fact, he’s fully prepared to change! He’s determined to change his crew’s minds, and what better way to do so than to get to know them- in the carnal sense that is. 

There are no problems with this plan in Rodimus’s mind. There are many in Ultra Magnus’s. Magnus engages in some unfortunate(for Rodimus) damage control as head of Cybertronian Resources. Rodimus is not easily deterred. 

Other Chapters Here! Read on AO3 Here!

____________________________

FIC TAGS: Rodimus/Everyone(But y’know, not like. EVERYONE. Just a lot of various background characters and also more specifically with some others), Takes place post dark cybertron, but pre the whole ship disappearing thing and the mutiny, smut, Chastity, denial, Rodimus is a slut, Ongoing humiliation, HR Violations as comedy, Ultra Magnus is clueless, sticky sexual interfacing, comedy, sexual comedy, dubious consent (if you squint and tilt your head), contains illustrations(but only on AO3)

____________________________

Authors notes: PSYCHE! I lied to you, this one is REAL PERCEPTOR HOURS!! Also theres no illustration in this chapter because I! am! sick! Next one i'll try for but for this one i didn't really feel like it. Also perceptor might be out of character but idk i dont know enough about him sadly. NEXT chapter will be very intensely self indulgent and incredibly batshit kinky, so be warned

CHAPTER TAGS: Rodimus/Perceptor, plug and play interfacing, orgasm denial, rodimus continues to have terrible luck, sexual science experiments, not following proper lab safety procedures, etc etc

“Brainstorm! I’ve got a project for you to work on!!” Rodimus singsonged as he stepped into the laboratory. He paused, glancing around at the seemingly uninhabited room. “Brainstorm?”

He jolted at the sound of someone clearing their vocalizer. He quickly spun towards the sound. “My apologies captain, Brainstorm is currently off shift.” Perceptor explained evenly, standing from his station. 

Dammit. Rodimus cursed internally, clamping down his field to prevent the other mech from catching the disappointment in it. “Ah, I see- Sorry for bothering you then, keep up the good work!” He said, beginning to back out of the lab. 

Perceptor cocked his head. “Perhaps I could be of assistance? What was it that you needed, Rodimus?” 

Rodimus cleared his vocalizer, doing the math in his head. On the Rodimus Narc Scale, Perceptor ranked pretty high. He was about as straight-laced as anyone on the lost light could be expected to be. On one hand, it would be absolutely mortifying to beg Perceptor to remove the magnetizer.

On the other hand, Rodimus was going to die if the magnetizer stayed on. 

“... Yeah, maybe you can help- just-! Uhm… can you keep a secret?”

*

Perceptor frowned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I see.” 

Rodimus’s optics flitted around nervously. “S-so… is there any way you can get it off?” This had to be a new low for him, laid out on a hastily cleared off work table while Perceptor closely examined his panels. He had to admit he was a bit aroused at the thought of being a slutty little science project, which he wasn’t exactly happy about. He tried to stomp down whatever feelings he was having about the whole situation, averting his gaze from the contemplative bot hunched over him.

“I’m afraid that I must once again defer to Ultra Magnus’s rulings on the matter: Crew members are not allowed to remove the magnetizer until your period of punishment is over.” Perceptor said, giving Rodimus a piteous look. 

Rodimus looked at him helplessly. “But-”

“However, if you are feeling… *ahem* any discomfort from…” He waved his servo generally over Rodimus’s closed panels. “Lack of stimulation, shall we say… I may be able to help in some other way?” 

Rodimus immediately perked up. “Yes, absolutely, totally, what is it?” 

“I’m no mnemosurgeon, but…” Perceptor cleared his vocalizer again awkwardly, reaching his right servo over to the back of his neck and carefully procuring his diagnostic cable. Rodimus blushed a bit, feeling incredibly stupid for not considering the possibility of plugging. It wasn’t his style anyway, he liked it more tactile, but at this point, he’d take anything he could get. “I believe I could find some way to relieve your… tension.” 

Rodimus sat up, nodding enthusiastically. “Sure, uhm- how do you want me?” 

Perceptor reached forwards with his cable, brushing his digits lightly over the captain’s neck cabling. “This position will work, just hold still- ah, there it is.” An arc of charge connected the two of them briefly as the scientist plugged into Rodimus’s neck port. Rodimus felt a zing through his circuits as Perceptor made his presence there known. “Now, to warn you, you may feel some… unfamiliar tactile stimulus, this is perfectly normal, but I’m mostly going to be looking through your processor to put together a code to give you some relief alright?”

Rodimus blinked. “Sorry?” 

Perceptor cleared his vocalizer again uncomfortably. “I’m going to put together a dataslug to plug into your ports to make you overload. And I need to look through your processor to put that together.”

“Ah.” Rodimus felt his faceplate heat up. 

“Indeed. Could you drop your firewalls for me?” Perceptor turned his vision away, picking up a datapad and beginning to take notes. 

“Can do, thanks again Percey.” Rodimus swallowed, focusing on lowering the firewall. He felt a shiver run down his back strut as the other mech began to rifle through his databanks. It was an odd sensation, similar to someone tickling the back of his neck or whispering in his ear. It wasn’t necessarily sexual- yet- but it left tingles racing up and down his plating as he felt Perceptor work. 

[Can you see this message?-P]

Rodimus shivered again, the message appearing at the front of his processor. He allowed his optics to go offline, focusing on the attention Perceptor was giving his mind. 

[Yep, loud and clear-R] 

[Splendid. I’m going to be stimulating some areas, you ping once for positive, twice for negative, understand?-P]

[Got it-R]

He could feel the other bot probing around, his processor feeling warmed. It almost felt like he was a book that Perceptor was leafing through, each priority tree and code flicking past like files in a cabinet. He felt Perceptor stop, then felt a wash of sudden heat wrack his frame as the code [Action input- pleasure centers online] appeared at the front of his mind. Rodimus pinged once, letting out a shaky sigh. 

“S-sorry-” He muttered absently, briefly reminded of the professionalism he was at least half attempting to keep around the other mech.

“It’s quite alright captain, again,” Perceptor began, not looking up from his datapad. Without warning, Rodimus’ leg jerked, his reflex codes accidentally engaging as Perceptor prodded at them. “Any accidental physical stimulus is quite natural. You may react however is normal for you.”

[Action input- Prefluid Production- Off]

Rodimus huffed out a nervous laugh before gritting his dentas. 

[Action input- Test- valve calipers]

He swore it felt like Perceptor’s digits were stroking over his processor, his whole frame shuddering as the calipers in his valve cycled down against Rodimus’ will. He pinged once again, earning an appreciative hum from the other mech. Rodimus’ digits clenched, scratching at the workbench as Perceptor engaged the code again, his valve squeezing around nothing. 

[Action input- Test- anterior node]

Rodimus squawked out a groan. His hips canted up off the workbench as he felt his anterior node twitch with sudden pleasure. He quickly pinged yet another positive. He let out a punched out breath as the stimulation ceased and let himself go limp on the table again. 

[You are doing quite well, Rodimus-P]

Rodimus let out an embarrassing whine, trying to quiet himself. He felt like he was going to die of embarrassment. Perceptor seemed to pause for a moment.

[Your pleasure centers react very enthusiastically to praise.-P]

Rodimus’ face flushed. He kept his intake clamped shut, refusing to let him embarrass himself even further. 

[Is that a bad thing?-R]

[Does it feel bad?-P]

[Action input- Test- Praise reaction]

Rodimus writhed, optics flickering on and off as a wash of giddy pride and pleasure came over his frame at Perceptor’s behest. 

“N-no-” Rodimus choked out. 

[Then it’s not a bad thing-P]

Rodimus quivered, biting down on his lower derma. He felt his spike housing open below his panels, then let out a pained hiss as his panels attempted to open. Perceptor quickly deactivated the directive, mumbling a quiet apology before continuing his work. 

[Action Priority- Tactile stimulus]

[Action input- Raise tactile sensory absorption]

Rodimus’s plating suddenly felt alight with sensation, every inch of contact with anything setting his frame on fire with pleasure. He let out a long, pained moan as heat overtook his body. He didn’t need to look to know he was most likely steaming from the seams at this point, though his assumption was confirmed as Perceptor winced and inputed another code.

[Action Priority- Vent heat] 

He let out a relieved sigh as his vents kicked on higher, squeezing his legs together. Even just the feeling of his own plating shifting together was enough to send sparks of charge down his frame. 

[Action input- array pressurize]

Rodimus groaned, wincing in pain as his array pushed needily against the back of his panels. Perceptor had paused in his ministrations, as if waiting for Rodimus’s negative ping. Rodimus squirmed, the discomfort of his spike aching for freedom leaving a warm feeling in his tanks. The captain’s faceplate flared with embarrassment at Perceptor’s amused hum. 

[Did you know that your receptors for pain and pleasure are much more linked than average?-P]

Rodimus attempted an annoyed growl. He only embarrassed himself further at the pained whimper it turned into. He onlined his optics to glare at the scientist pointedly.

[What are you implying, Percey?- R]

Perceptor didn’t respond, but Rodimus caught the pleased smirk he’d allowed himself as he tapped away on his datapad. 

[Action input- Test- Pain reaction- 10%]

[Action input- Test- Pleasure reaction- 50%]

Rodimus let out another pained moan, his plating tingling and stinging with charge. His array ached. His processor felt fuzzy, optics flickering again as his frame twitched. He rutted his hips up at nothing, only succeeding in shaking the table when he went despondently limp. He keened as the sensation left him. He thought he might dent the table with how tightly he squeezed it. Rodimus only whined louder when the command was retracted, his frame buzzing with remnants of false pain and pleasure with no real source. 

[You make such a fascinating subject, Rodimus-P]

Rodimus wheezed out another mouthful of steam. 

[Your pleasure centers are connected to some unorthodox stimulus, did you know that?-P]

Rodimus fought to get his words together, willing his mind to put together a response as he cleared and reset his vocalizer. “W-what?” He croaked out dumbly. 

[Don’t worry about it.-P]

[Action input- Sensory stimulus reaction- Anterior node- 75%]

Rodimus’s back arched up off the table. An animalistic, glitching howl escaped his throat. His optics fritzed and went offline again, legs kicking and twitching. “O-OH- FRAG!” He shouted out, reaching to desperately paw at his panels. “G-GOD- Percey-!!” Rodimus’s hips bucked and jumped, chasing the phantom stimulation the only way he knew how as it drew him closer and closer to an edge. 

[Action input- Sensory stimulus reaction- Valve calipers(All)- 80%]

“PERCEY-!”

[Action input- Sensory stimulus reaction- Spike- 50%]

His helm clanged against the worktable, half drowned out by the desperate wail he let out. “I’m- S-SLAG- Oh- Primus- Perceptor- I’m gonna-” Rodimus babbled, his voice glitching desperately. 

He screamed in despair as the stimulus was ripped back from him. Perceptor canceled the codes, leaving Rodimus twitching and steaming with frustration. 

“C-Come on- Perceptor-!! Please- frag- I was SO close!!” Rodimus cried, turning his helm to give the scientist his very best puppydog eyes. Perceptor simply reached out and disconnected his diagnostic cord from Rodimus’s neck port, biting back a cruel smile. 

“I know, I can’t have you leaking all over my table.” He said curtly, opening a drawer and plucking out a fresh dataslug to plug into his pad. Rodimus watched his digits deftly working at the datapad, considering how a set of dextrous digits like that would be better served attending to his aching array. Rodimus swallowed dryly, rubbing his legs together. 

After a brief moment of silence, Perceptor unplugged the dataslug and handed it to Rodimus. “There we are. This should suffice in bringing you as many overloads as your spark desires.” He said. “You’ll want to plug this into your interfacing ports rather than your diagnostics for the best effect.” 

Rodimus sat up, hopping off the edge of the work table. “Thanks again… sorry for um… y’know.” He waved his servo implicatively. 

Perceptor smiled. “Not to worry captain. I’d be happy to work in your processor again sometime.” 

Rodimus didn’t like how that offer made him feel. “Cool.” He said, before turning and beginning to wander off out of the lab with his prize in hand.

*

Rodimus quivered, clamping a servo over his intake as the feelings wracked through his frame. It had taken him only as long as it took to return to his habsuite, close the door, and lay himself out on his berth to plug that dataslug into the port on the back of his helm. He’d half expected it to be a quick thrill, a program to get him off and be done with it.

He was endlessly thankful that it wasn’t.

Waves of intense sensation rolled down his frame, leaving Rodimus slick with coolant and rapt in intense pleasure. He could feel each sensation like someone was spiking him better than he’d ever felt before, calipers cycling and shifting in perfect rhythm, mimicking the intense feeling of being stretched. The tactile sensors on his spike lit up one after the other as if it were being stroked. 

“Oohh- f-frag-” Rodimus moaned through his digits. Drool was slick on his dermas, steam creeping through his knuckles as the intensity slowly began to mount. Rodimus’s optics glitched and flickered. He’d have to consider plugging like this more often. 

He keened as he finally felt the code engage his anterior node, his frame glitching with charge. Finally, finally, after days with no release- The code engaged all sensors at once, and Rodimus threw his helm back against the berth-

*CRUNCH!*

All the sensations stopped. Rodimus wheezed and panted, frantically glancing around. No- What- He reached a servo around to the back of his helm, pawing for the-

His digits came away clutching the smashed dataslug. 

Rodimus wailed in anguish at his misfortune. He felt like he was going to weep, all hope of overload dashed at his pedes in seconds by his traitorous frame. Rodimus buried his face in his servos, screaming into his palms and kicking at the air in frustration. 

*

Two cycles passed. Doubletap, Railspike, and Pincher got checked off Rodimus’s meetings list. Rodimus seethed each moment he spent in Ultra Magnus’ presence. He swore how pent up he was would trigger any latent outlier powers any day now, allowing him to really and truly burn holes in his plating with his hateful glare. 

And what was worse, the longer he spent like this, the more desirable the other mech was to him. He had convinced himself that it was a matter of ‘taking Ultra Magnus down a few pegs’ when he fantasized about the other mech, however, it was hard to keep his mind from wandering, and his plating from heating, when he remembered who had been the cause of his torture. 

It was when Rodimus caught himself pretending the spike in his mouth was Magnus’s and not Fervors during their one on one that he finally decided to swallow his pride and make the agonizing walk of shame back to the lab to beg for the scientists’ help again.