âYou are stronger than you realise. You are crueller than you realise. The smallest words will break your heart. You will change. Youâre not the same person you were three years ago. Youâre not even the same person you were three minutes ago and thatâs okay. Especially if you donât like the person you were three minutes ago. People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires. You wonât like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep. Youâll forget your email password but ten years from now youâll still remember the number of steps up to his flat. You donât have to open the curtains if you donât want to. Never stop yourself texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9.30 a.m., tell them again. Make sure you have a safe place. Whether itâs the kitchen floor or the Travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place. You will be scared of all kinds of things, of spiders and clowns and eating alone, but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself. Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it. You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed. Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to survive. You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call. You are good at something, whether itâs making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Donât ever let anyone tell you that these things donât matter. You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you youâll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin. Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you. People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, âWhy didnât you call me back?â or âHeâs an asshole.â Make sure youâre listening. You will be okay. You will be okay.â
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