V a m p i r e.

♛ r i c k y. Will you follow me down this dark path? — ∙ • ✄ • ∙ — ⌠ Transition Blog ⌡

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I've had a pretty intense work out days for the last two days. I'm pretty proud of it considering I'm actually sticking to this work out. And it's causing me to eat less. Feeling really good about this!

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Finally another transguy with longhair :3 You rock! (I don't feel like such a minority anymore!)

My hair actually isn’t that long anymore! It got really damaged and it was just so bad at my ends. It’s still really damaged, but it feels a lot better then what it was. Mostly I just layered it, got bangs, and trimmed the bottom. So it’s about to my shoulders now. When before it was going down my back. I always prefer long hair over short hair. But after awhile it’s a lot for me to handle, and I like having a cut that I can style and have fun with. 

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I don't want to be rude, but I don't think you're trans. If you're wearing makeup, and doing all this girly shit,it's no wonder people at driving school used female pronouns.. readjust your idea of gender and what it really means to transition... its not cool to be a transtrender

Ahaha oh my. Really this again? Honestly? 

Dude, I’ve known I was trans since I was little. And I’ve been out since Middle School. I’m pretty sure I know what I’m doing.

I know what gender is, and me wearing makeup and liking some feminine things has nothing to do with it. Yeah I like makeup and certain types of fashion. Are you saying guys can’t do that too? Because I’m pretty sure all people I look up to for makeup/fashion wise are all guys. It has nothing to do with my gender. And I just laugh every time someone points out you can’t do this and that because it’s not masculine. Not all guys are masculine. Yes I still like to be a bit masculine, but I like to be androgynous in my own ways. Not all guys have to go around wearing baggy clothes, and having short hair, have facial hair, like sports, etc etc. Those are stereotypes  And being a transguy does not mean I have to be like the guys you see on TV.

Trust me I know it’s not fun to be trans, it’d fucking hard. I’ve been dealing with it for years. I’m not doing this for the hell of it, that would be dumb and pointless. I know what my gender is, and I don’t see it any other way.

And really ‘transtrender’? That’s so dumb. I promise you I’m not one of those people.

The reason people at driving school used to use my female name was because of my voice tone and my name legally. And in fact I didn’t wear makeup at all at that point, and wore nothing but jeans, a t-shirt, and sweatshirt. I just started wearing makeup again. Because people were giving me shit about it. But hell I like it, and look more masculine with it half the time (depending how I do it). 

So even if you don’t want to sound rude, I still think that was pretty damn rude. And don’t be close minded. 

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Update 4.27.13

So the main thing to update about would be that I finally got a haircut after a year of letting it grow out. Along with that I dyed all my hair red. Though it kinda killed me hair to make it red, It looks really nice and I'm working on constructing it.

I'm gonna be officially signing up for beauty school, which starts this June. I'm super excited to finally being able to start this. Considering it's always something I adored. 

Started working out, mostly P90X. I'd really like to get in shape by the end of this summer. It'd be nice to start my senior year off fresh. But other then that, I'm gonna be looking for a job while finishing up my Junior year. 

- Ricky

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New icon alert~!

I really need to start updating this account more, but I really haven't had much transition updates. But I'll start posting more I promise!

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Things to blacklist

In case you don't want to see any of my random posts of just personal things.

Ricky's Rambling

Ricky's crushing

Ricky's update

Ricky's asks

Rickyw {face}

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Can It be next year already? Or at least the summer? I'm ready to finish my Junior year already, considering it's one of my worst highschool years. Next year I'll only have 3 classes a day and beauty school the other half of the day. So that wont me so bad, also considering I'll have my license so I can leave the house whenever my parents drive me nuts.

I gotta start looking for a job now that driving school is over though. I know a place that's hiring but I really don't wanna work in food, but then again the place isn't really that busy. So I might just suck it up and do it. Considering I'd like to save up for my move out next year and have plenty of money for it. Plus it's be nice to have the extra money!

But I'm just kinda really excited about moving out. I know I still have time, and I want to appreciate the time I have here with the little things. But I really will enjoy leaving Indiana. I've always disliked it here. Plus when I'm move I'll be surrounded by all my friends I care deeply for. And I'm sure being in a better environment will get rid of my depression.

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I told her I was trans and she's totally supportive. Not that I was afraid that she wouldn't be, I just hate telling people because of past experiences. Ah, there's the weight off my chest.

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Update 3.28.13

So today was the last official day of driving school besides my make-up day. And it was really stressful, mostly because of the test we had to take. I suck at tests, and I can't take them without getting really jittery and uncomfortable. But I needed a 277 to pass, and only got a 241. But my teacher gave me some extra credit and said he'll give me work to do on my make-up day so I don't fail. I just hate that my father always gives me this disappointed look that makes my skin crawl.

Anyways, So I've been working on my beauty care. Like keeping my nails nice and skin taken care of. I've been washing my face every night, putting acne things on it, and so on. Which has been helping a lot. Also the nights that I do wear makeup I've been washing it off before I go to bed instead of leaving it on.

School starts up next week and I have to crack down. But I know everytime I say that, it never happens because I have such a hard time being motivated for anything. But I have to pass everything.

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UGHHHHHHH.

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Ugh she keeps talking about how she wants a cute cheesy romance relationship and someone that she doesn't have to be fake around. Someone that will hold her and be all cute with. And wishing she wasn't afraid of affection and such.

And I honestly just like her a lot. Kinda wish I was that person. Because I'm the exact way. And I wanna be that person to make her happy. Just gotta be patient and hope once my birthday hits things will go smoother. But I'm not even sure if she'll ever feel the same.

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Driving School

Okay I'll tell you my experience on driving school since it's almost over and all. Everyday I go from 5:00-7:30 pm. Which honestly isn't to bad. I managed to make a few pals who are decent to talk too. Though it's strange because they're freshman and 8th graders. So I try not to get annoyed at their immaturity. Anyways, but what annoys me after several times. And I do mean several. They continue to call me female pronouns. Even after I've corrected them since day one. I just kinda find it annoying when they do it constantly. And one girl manages to do it everyday, and after awhile says sorry. I don't understand considering none of them know I'm trans or would have any clue. Just kinda something I always question.

But besides that I only have two days left and I'm done. I need to start scheduling drives though, but hopefully I'll be driving soon so I'll be able to leave the house more.

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Besides depression starting to hit me harder then ever lately, I managed to cheer myself up by buying a plush of one of my favorite pokemon.  and random photo of myself I took today.

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Update 3.17.12

So I'm going to work on my theme along with an official username that's actually creative. But besides that I'm gonna start making vlogs again hopefully, though I don't have the best camera. I think I'm just gonna upload them on my cosplay channel, that way I can just stop using so many accounts and just use that one. 

Anyways! for a little update in my life. I started driving school, which I'm actually getting ready for right now. Which I'm kinda nervous about current because I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt and a scarf. Which an outfit I've always loved, but been afraid of because I can;t stand to be in public without a jacket. Because my hips always throw off my passing. But I'm just gonna do it anyways. I want to start getting a better fashion sense and not just wear band tees, jeans, and a sweatshirt. I just have to get money to buy all the clothes. I think the big thing actually pushing me to want to do that is that in the summer I'll be starting beauty school, which is basically my college. I'm really excited to start it considering I'll be able to graduate by the time I graduate highschool! Which makes me feel really good knowing that. Because my plan is to move to Utah by the end of next year. I'll be getting an apartment with a couple of my close friends. But first I gotta get a job to start saving up.

Yeah life has been getting way better, along with making new friends. I've been nothing but happy lately. It's such a great feeling considering where I was last semester. I've been doing better with school, closer to my mom, found a girl I really like, and have a bunch of amazing friends that mean a lot to me.

But as for transition plans I've still gone no where, and I can't really do much until I'm 18 cause of my father. So I'm hoping when I move out to Utah I can actually start things officially  Though I want to start T before I move there, but I don't know how that will go because my father doesn't want me to do anything. I'm still waiting for the doctor to call me back with a number for a therapist she recommended me but I still haven't gotten it.

To sum everything up plan wise; Get liscene, Get a job, Start Beauty school, Graduate it and highschool, move to Utah, start transition, take a photography & Japanese college course at some point, go on a date with the girl I really like, work on more cosplays, and just get moving with my life! (~￣▽￣)~

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This is my transition blog, but I haven't really had anything transition wise to talk about. So i post about myself sometimes or just show photos of my face.

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