Vanessa had her head tilted, laying to one side, as she listened to the Warden speak about her power. To be honest, she likes listening to him, his words were so well chosen, as if she was reading a book, not hearing another human being speak. She didn't dare raising her eyes to look at him, partly because she still felt stupid for her outburst before, partly because what he said was painted alive inside of her by her imagination, and she didn't want to ruin all the things she was seeing - the stars, the darkness, the Yin and Yang - by seeing his mouth speak them, and realize that in the end, these were nothing but spoken words.
It hurt, what he said, it hurt to hear that she was in fact darkness, and was in fact pain, but it didn't only hurt ever so numbly, because he explained that this was needed too. It hurt like remembering a dear childhood friend you were forced to leave behind. "Thank you, Sir...", Vanessa said lazily, still a little trapped in her own world, but she looked up just in time to see his little smile, causing her to mirror it on her own lips.
As Rhys Bowen stood up and walked around his desk, Vanessa instantly sat upright again, most of her muscles alert, and her heart beating again. It was happening - unless he just came to pat her on the fully covered shoulder saying 'Don't do this, lad.'. But he wouldn't. Vanessa knew, that he understood her, or that he at least knew where she was coming from - and she knew that he was actually going to do it. "Yes! Thank you.", she said eagerly, as she turned her body to face him.
Suddenly it was there, a wave running through her body, as if she was swimming in the ocean - surprised by it, even though she knew it was coming. It was cold and gave her goosebumps, as if it took some of her own warmth with it, as it exited her body. Vanessa had never really been conscious of her own power before - but as it left her, she felt it so clearly. It dripped down from her head, ran from her hands down her arms into her body's core, as if it was water she couldn't see - and in her core... it just vanished. Slowly, roughly, not as smooth as it had gone off her limbs - as if her power fought against being separated from her, as if it was sticky and left trails in her. Then it was gone, and Vanessa felt empty.
It was very different from how Vanessa had imagined it. She had heard that this was how one felt after having their powers negotiated, but somehow, Vanessa had never really considered the powers such a part of her - more of a burden, actually. So why wasn't she feeling lighter? A little irritated, but still with a hopeful beating heart, Vanessa pulled off her gloves and gently rubbed her own hands against each other. It still felt exactly the same, just... a little more sensitive. But maybe that was just placebo?
Vanessa looked at her hands, then at the Warden. "...may I?", she asked carefully, holding her hand out towards his hand a little. It was not that she didn't trust his abilities, and she did find it a little embarrassing to ask the Disciplitarian for permission to touch him - but before she went out into the world, she needed to feel, to see, that it really was gone now. That she was free, even if only for an hour.
