you'll wish that you never did

Vanessa Quinn Pearson. ☾ twenty-one. writer, pop punk enthusiast, & overall burden on society. @nessaq: i don't care if judging people by their zodiac alignment "isn't a fair enough assment" but thanks for the input

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Ben honestly hoped this would be the first of many nights Vanessa spent at his apartment. It definitely beat her sneaking into her moms house, he figured, and he was never going to complain about her company, so he was hoping this went well. Hanging up his backpack on his typical hook, he put Vanessa’s next to it then moved to the laundry closet doors, dropping their wet clothes into the washer, figuring the least he could do is wash her wet clothes for her, but he’d get to that after the shower. Looking at the brunette, he smiled as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, eyeing the way she moved in the space. His eyebrows lifted up at her question, head tilting back and forth to the side a few times. “I might.” He breathed out through a chuckle. Ben smiled as she moved over to him, her arms moving up over his shoulders had his hands looping around her waist, pulling her close to him. “There’s not much to see, it’s not huge or anything.” He smiled down at her, squeezing her sides and dipping his head into her neck. “And I thought we were gonna order take out then shower, huh?” He murmured into her skin, hands moving down over her ass to squeeze there next as he breathed out a sigh, inching back to look down at his girlfriend. “I’ll show you, c’mon.” He moved his hands from her ass to slide one up her arm, lacing their fingers and turning to walk towards his balcony with her hand in his. “I just smoke out here, there’s a plastic chair I got at Walmart, but.” He laughed, opening the door so she could peek outside if she wanted to. 

It still felt a little bit weird, Vanessa had to admit, but she figured the best way to feel more comfortable was not to act like anything was going through her head about it. She and Ben were dating, and it certainly wasn't like she didn't like spending her time with him. Add to that the fact that she hated the place that she technically called home, there wasn't a lot of bad to be had about staying over at his apartment. It just wasn't typical for her, that was all. Brows lifting at his confirmation to her teasing, the brunette breathed out a laugh of her own. "Well, I'm here, so I wanna see it first." She sighed, turning her head to brush her lips over the shell of his ear after his head had dipped down into her neck. One of her hands eased up into the back of his hair, squeezing gently at the strands as she let out a low hum at the squeeze to her ass, her body arching subtly toward his. She breathed out an airy sounding sigh as they separated, hands linked, and she lifted them, bringing their joined hands up toward her mouth to bite gently at his thumb knuckle before letting them swing heavily back down between them. "Oooh, Walmart. We love a home decor expert." She teased, voice turning jokingly nasal in further playful example. Turning from the quick peek she took out onto the open patio, she glanced over the living room set up - simple, but comfortable, like she'd already seen. 

Looking at the large TV hanging on the wall, she snorted out a huff of a snicker and shook her head. "Guys and their big TV's, I swear. We almost had a seventy-two inch TV at one point because of--" There had been a smile growing on her features, the distantly familiar memory something that was easy to get caught up in the amusement of, because she remembered vividly how funny it was at the time to hear her dad rattle on about how it was 'a man's right' to have a TV that big, and how, at the time, her mom had been so head over heels for him that she got damn near close to letting him have it. That was a different life, though, and it was that realization that had Vanessa cut off the way that she did, bright look on her face faltering rather quickly. Clearing her throat quietly, she walked ahead of Ben further through the living room to the kitchen, but didn't drop their hands, keeping her arm outstretched behind her as she walked. Having a quick look over the counter space, the girl clicked her tongue. "You're so fucking clean. I don't know what I expected, probably something gross. Guys tend to be gross in their own space."

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Pulling away from the red light, Ben was ready to get home. No interruptions, no other people, just him and Vanessa, exactly how he liked it. Keeping his hand on her thigh while he drove in the direction of his apartment, he nodded his head at her answer, head lulling in her direction for a second. “Think about what you wanna order, so we can call right when we get there, I’m starvin’.” He squeezed at her thigh after speaking, head looking back at the road. Finally they were pulling into the parking lot of his building, parking in his reserved spot and cutting the engine. He didn’t move right away, he just looked at Vanessa beside him, watching the way she looked up at the large building in front of them. He wondered idly what was going on in her head, but he figured they’d get to that later. As she leaned over to kiss and nip at his jaw, Ben’s hand moved from her thigh to the side of her face, grinning before breathing out a sigh. He shrugged his shoulder up, turning his head to kiss the corner of her mouth a few quick times. “I mean, it’s late enough we probably won’t see anyone, I’m on the second floor so it’s not like I’m all the way up.” Ben answered, grinning. “I can give you my shirt though, if you want it, it’s all just gonna come off once we’re inside anyway.” He grinned, playfully scratching his dulled nails along her cheek before kissing her lips once more, finally inching back and pulling the keys out of the ignition, pushing himself out of the car. He opened the back door and grabbed Vanessa’s backpack and then his own, then the pile of wet clothes from the back seat. “Take my keys, baby.” He held them out to her, knowing she’d have an easier time opening the door than he would with his hands full of their things. They were up the elevator and to his door without seeing anyone, which again he wasn’t too surprised by considering the time. Nodding for her to open the door, he nudged it open with his foot after she unlocked it, closing it behind them once they were inside with a light flicked on. “Home sweet home.” Ben sighed, walking a few steps backwards from where Vanessa was, watching her carefully. 

The small smile curled at the girl's lips inched wider as he kissed at the corner of her mouth; yet another thing Ben seemed to be so good at, making it easy for her to smile. Vanessa recognized that she was probably a little in over her head, but she was rolling with it at this point. She gave a tilted nod of her head in agreement with his assessment, considering what time it was. She had every intention of grabbing her own things for herself, but she also couldn't say she was terribly surprised to find that Ben beat her to it, so she took the apartment keys instead and took whatever direction he gave so that she knew she was headed the right way to get to his place. Taking in a slow deep breath through her nose as the front door was pushed open, she stepped in slowly, unconsciously chewing at the inside of her lower lip. Quirking a brow at Ben's words, she was only looking at him for a moment before taking in her surroundings. She hadn't expected much, because she had a good idea of the sort of person Ben was - making good money with his dealing or not - but it was nice. It was homey in a simple and comfortable kind of way. There was the lingering smell of old cigarette smoke, undoubtedly clinging to Ben's clothes from all his life as a chimney, and all. Toying absently with the collar of her over-sized shirt, she wandered a little through the living room, peering out the back glass onto the balcony patio curiously. "This is pretty cool." She murmured, thinking out loud as she half-circled back in Ben's direction. She dragged her hand along the back edge of the couch as she moved back toward him. "Do you have a takeout menu drawer? Are you that organized?" She toyed, brow furrowing in a teasing questioning expression as she looped her arms up over his shoulders. "You should probably give me a tour or something, isn't that polite or whatever?"

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Ben was honestly the tiniest bit confused about how this hadn’t happened for them yet; they’d been dating far long enough for him to have Vanessa to his apartment. Whatever the reason it hadn’t happened yet, he wasn’t going to worry about it, especially considering they were on their way to his place now. Thankfully he was a relatively clean person, or else he’d be rushing in ahead of her to clean up anything lying around, at most it was going to be his clothes in the bathroom that he’d taken off before he showered but that was not at all the most incriminating thing in his apartment. Pulling up at the red light, he glanced fully in her direction, grinning at the girl beside him now. Most of his anxiety had faded now, and all that lingered was a subtle tension in his shoulders that he was hoping the hot shower they were planning would fix. “I’m already in trouble.” Ben breathed out in a sigh, but then his head nodded when she continued, mentioning how they had all night which they truly did. Grinning as she leaned over to him, he kept a firm foot on the break as he kissed her back, but his hand at that she held squeezed at his, leaning into the kiss more. Humming out a groan as she sucked at his lower lip, he moved his other hand from the steering wheel to hold the side of her head, kissing her further. The sound of a honk had Ben snapping back, but his eyes rolled and a ‘fuck off man’ rolled off his tongue as he pulled his foot from the break and pressed on the gas, flying through the intersection with a smirk shot in Vanessa’s direction. “I dunno, gorgeous.” Ben answered, one hand back on the steering wheel and the other back on her thigh. “Chinese sounds good, it’ll probably take longer than pizza too, so we could get our shower in first.”

The sighed words that left Ben brought a subtle smirk to Vanessa's lips, though she couldn't deny the way that it felt like her stomach took a leap up into her chest for a couple seconds. He was stupidly good at saying and doing things that made her feel ways she wasn't familiar with, always in a good way. As they eased back from being so rudely interrupted, the casual question about food came easily. Her hand landed on top of his in her lap while she looked over at him still. "True. Chinese leftovers are usually better than leftover pizza, too." She shrugged loosely with one shoulder. She toyed absently with Ben's fingers for the remainder of the drive to his apartment, though the motion stopped as they were pulling into the parking area for the complex. The girl's head lifted from being lazily leaned against her seat to look out her window, looking curiously at the building that Ben lived in. It still felt a little weird, her being there, if only because of the newness of it. She was used to having to go back to her mom's house - sneak back in, rather. There was a split second's worth of envy, that Ben had a place his own, somewhere that the space belonged to him and only him. However, she also couldn't shake the momentary thought that maybe coming here could end up being something that served as a kind of safe space; a better home, even, maybe. She was getting ahead of herself, though - as she could when it came to 'claiming' places that weren't her mother's house. Looking back over at Ben, Vanessa smiled faintly before leaning over across the middle console again to press a couple of kisses against the edge of his jaw, then graze her teeth there gently. "Should I put pants on before I go walking around?" She asked with a snicker, still leaned closely toward him.

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

He wasn’t naive enough to think that Vanessa couldn’t tell that something was up with him, he hadn’t exactly hid his anxiety well considering, but he hoped they could just skirt by it, at least for now. They were heading back to his apartment now, the little shell she’d picked up for him sitting in the center console of his car and his hand rest on top of her thigh. Tonight was apparently coming with a lot of firsts, first jumping into the ocean and taking Vanessa back to his apartment. It’d been a long time coming, really, she should have been there with him weeks ago but they just kept jumping over that step somehow. Glancing over at the girl when she spoke, smiling subtly as she toyed with his fingers. Letting out a laugh as her teeth grazed his knuckle, Ben breathed out an airy sigh after the fact, fingers wiggling in her grasp playfully while he nodded her head. “Probably should have gotten you there a long time ago.” He answered, voice a little softer as he spoke again. “I thought we could take a nice hot shower and hang out in bed, maybe order something to eat if you want.” His hand lifted both of their hands to use his finger to brush a wet piece of hair from in front of her eyes. “Or we can just fuck all night, totally up to you.” Ben grinned, smirking at her as he stopped at a red light, turning his head fully in her direction now with a squeeze to her hand. 

Now that the adrenaline of jumping into the ocean was slowly but surely settling down, Vanessa had reality to focus on again. Sure, she and Ben weren't talking about that little moment he seemed to have - subtle as it was - but she tucked it into the back of her mind all the same. Now the focus was the fact that they were going back to his place. For the first time since they'd met. It dawned on Vanessa, too, that there was conversation to be had about the fact that he had his own apartment, where he lived alone, as a casual twenty-one year old. She knew about his more than average paying job, but still. Quirking a brow at Ben's immediate reply, she listened wordlessly to him, though her head lulled to a tilt as he started listing off suggestions for what they were going to do. Vanessa snorted out a laugh at his tacked on added suggestion, her eyes rolling though a smirk remained present on her features. "Don't leave things up to me, baby, I'll get you in trouble." She teased with a faint wrinkle in her nose. As they slowed to a stop and he looked at her more fully, Vanessa let go of his hand and shifted in her seat toward him, hand falling against his jaw. "We've got all night, right? Can do a little bit of everything, probably." She toyed, leaned in close, nose brushing his. She inched in further still to press their lips together. Her hand slid up into the back of his hair, fingers gripping onto the short strands as she kissed him, letting out a deep sigh through her nose. She sucked his lower lip into her mouth, between her teeth and sinking them in noticeably with a low hum. Her tongue traced over it a moment later before easing passed into his mouth, kissing him deeper. It wasn't until several seconds passed the honk of a car behind them sounded that Vanessa made any move to pull back. A middle finger was held up toward Ben's back windshield, at the car behind them, before she finally pulled back and flopped into her seat again, looking up at the green light in front of them. "What do you think," She started casually, back in her seat fully, head lulled against the head rest in his direction. "Chinese or pizza?"

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Unfortunately, Ben was aware of the fact that he wasn’t a very good actor, and despite his best efforts he was pretty sure she saw right through him. He just felt unsettled by it, and he was very much ready to get out of the water even if it meant he had to jump again. He wanted to make Vanessa happy, maybe now that he’d done it once already he’d be over it, sounded like bullshit but it was a hope he had as he trudged out of the water. Arms over his chest as they stood in the sand, Vanessa shivering in front of him, he rolled his lips together at her announcement that she was going back to the car. Sighing, Ben walked a few steps behind her in the sand, starting to shiver himself while they walked. He’d suggest it again when they got back to the ledge, if even just for show. He really didn’t want to jump again, but he would if she wanted to. Lost in thought, he didn’t see her stop and nearly ran into her as she bent to pick something up. 

Halting at the arm against his chest, he looked down at the shell in her hand, a small smile on his face. “Thanks.” He huffed out a laugh, but his smile widened as she kissed his face. Getting back up from the beach to where his car was parked, Ben glanced over his shoulder at the ledge, thinking about asking but before he could the lights of his car flashed, turning to see Vanessa holding his car keys. He didn’t argue it, he was too cold and anxiety ridden now to think try to fight her on it. Instead he opened the back door of his car and pulled his sweatpants out of his backpack, quickly pushing his wet trunks down and pulling his sweatpants up his legs. Plopping down in the drivers seat after shutting the door, he turned his car on and blasted the heat, the luke warm air even feeling better than the air outside. “Hey.” He said to her as she sat down in the passengers seat, hand landing on her thigh. He didn’t say anything else, just leaned over to kiss her gently, mouth just barely moving against hers before he inched back, smiling softly. “Baby, your lips are a little blue.” Ben chuckled lightly, pulling the car in reverse to head back to his apartment with her. 

Despite it being a nice enough gesture on Ben's behalf that he was trying to play willing to jump again, Vanessa wasn't really in the business of making him do something that he didn't actually want. She'd put an abnormal amount of trust in Ben, going into a relationship with him, and part of her trust in him had also been that he wasn't pushing her into anything she wasn't good with, either. It was a mutual respect thing, a trust thing. She was an asshole, sure, but she wasn't that asshole, if he didn't want to jump, she wasn't going to make him, even if she would have done it again. Presenting him with the shell she had noticed and picked up from the sand was as much a playful trophy as some sort of peace offering, trying to diffuse whatever tension there may still be - though admittedly she didn't feel much of it, she just had a vague idea that something was going on up in that beautiful head of his. Grabbing his keys and unlocking the car before he could offer again was both a successful avoidance as much as it was because she was in a hurry to no longer be half naked in a wet bikini.

She rifled around in her bag for the over-sized band tee and pair of underwear she had stuffed in there, getting her bikini off - because who fucking cared about being naked in the beach parking lot at night, right? - before she pulled the dry clothes on. The adrenaline of her jump was slowly but surely subsiding as she resolved to settling down more for the night - though god only knew what they'd get up to at the apartment. Getting shoes on was pointless, instead the brunette grabbed one of the towels from the back seat and plopped into the passenger seat, covering her cold legs with the towel. Looking over with a 'hm?' when Ben called for her attention, Vanessa only hummed further into the gentle press of their lips, one hand lifting to the edge of his jaw before it fell away again when he pulled back. "Like I said, I'm fucking freezing." She laughed lightly, though it seemed that her teeth chattering had stopped for the time being finally. As they pulled out of the beach lot and got on their way, it dawned on the girl once again, that she hadn't actually spent a night with Ben yet. Going on drives or not making it home until the late, late hours of the night didn't count and she knew it. Sinking in her seat, she let her head lull sideways, glancing at bed as he drove. "So," She started simply, toying with the fingers of his hand at her thigh before lifting it from the spot, bringing it toward her mouth. She grazed her teeth against one knuckle before kissing softly at the same spot, light brows raising. "Your apartment, huh?"

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Ben was feeling a weird combination of anxiety and adrenaline. He was sure that if they’d done the same jump during the day he’d feel better about it, but it was the not knowing of the circumstances that were throwing him for a loop, and he didn’t love that. The push and pull of the ocean wasn’t helping his nerves though, so he fought to stay close to Vanessa for both of their sake, doing his best not to wear the bouts of panic that he felt on his face. As she answered his question, Ben was ready to get out of the water. “Can’t breathe like because of the adrenaline or can’t breathe because of the water?” He asked, clarifying, but if he had to guess the answer to the question he’d say it was probably both, considering he felt like he wasn’t doing best on the breathing front either. Despite the fact that his head was giving him lots of warning signs, his mouth betrayed his brain. “We can if you want to.” He called over the waves, shaking his wet hair out while he tread in the water. 

It was odd for him, to have so much anxiety over something so normal, over something that put him in potential harms way when he’d done that before. Again though, the circumstances felt a little different, considering, but it still felt weird. Shaking his head as she mentioned leaving, Ben followed her as best he could towards the shore, being tugged a few feet away from her by the current but making it up onto the sand all the same. The cool air immediately hit him and he sucked in air through his teeth, coming up behind her with his arms over his chest in the same way she had hers over her chest. “V, we don’t have to leave yet.” Ben breathed out. “You wanted to do this, lets go do it one more time.” Ben urged, not wanting her to cut this short for herself even if he didn’t love the idea. “I’m good, I’m good, lets go.” Ben nodded her forward for her to lead the way to get back to the ledge so they could jump again and then he’d be done. He could do one more time, right? 

Letting out a light laugh, Vanessa called back a 'both' in answer to Ben's question, because it was the truth. Whether she knew Ben for very long or not, Vanessa like to consider herself a smart enough person, she was intuitive enough. Sure, she didn't always take advice or remain logical when it was herself in question, but this was a little different. Because she was aware rather easily of the fact that Ben didn't actually answer her question correctly. His saying that they could jump again if she wanted to was not confirming that he wanted to, in fact it nearly did the opposite. As they finally reached the sand after a slightly challenging swim to get there, Vanessa’s question about if he were alright was more generalized than about jumping again. Quirking a light brow as Ben said they didn't have to leave yet, the girl didn't speak right away, teeth still chattering together as she remained planted where she stood - shaking a little, but still planted. She squinted faintly as he appeared to urge her further, and she came very close to asking him if he really didn't realize she was onto him.

By some miracle she managed to refrain, however, and instead she spared a glance in the ledge's direction, gaze thoughtful. It was all of two second's consideration before she shook her head once and started up the beach, getting to the dryer sand. "I'm fucking freezing." She shuddered as she walked. "I'm going back to the car." She turned her head half over her shoulder to call toward where she had moved away from him. Arms still tight across her chest, she shook notably as she trudged through the sand, looking down so that she didn't step on anything weird - it was a SoCal beach after all, god only fucking knew what could be there. Pausing, though, the brunette tilted her head as her gaze caught on a seashell that was actually full size and not just a partial piece. Squatting down through her shivering, she picked it up and turned it a couple times in her fingers, examining it, before standing and swinging the one outstretched arm in Ben's direction. Incidentally hitting him in the chest, but that was beside the point. "For you," Vanessa announced, holding the shell out in front of him. "Your 'I survived' trophy." She added by way of explanation before leaning in and smacking a shaking kiss against his cheek - salt water be damned.

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Jumping off the ledge into the water, Ben would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. He’d done plenty of reckless things, gotten into countless fist fights or drag raced a car or two, he deals drugs even, but for whatever reason, this scared him. The uncertainty of the water and the dark felt unsettling, but either way he knew he had to jump or else he wasn’t going to ever live it down. He was underwater still when Vanessa landed with a splash, only hearing the sound of her breaking the surface to sink down into the depths. Pushing himself back up to the surface, he blinked quickly, trying to spot Vanessa around him while the tide pulled him in different directions. He could see the grin on her face and he definitely didn’t feel the same. “The jump was cool.” Ben called to her as he tried to pull a smile onto his face then swam closer to where she was. “How many times do you jump? Like in a row?” He asked, really working on keeping his voice level. He really didn’t like this, it was an anxiety attack waiting to happen and he didn’t even know he had anxiety about the water like this, but he attested it too the many factors that contributed to it. Treading next to her, he bit back the question about getting out of the water, taking a deep breath in through his nose. Vanessa had wanted to do this with him, and he wasn’t about to ruin it for her. “Do you wanna do it again?” 

Breaking the surface of the water, feeling the push and pull of the tide dragging her this way than that, Vanessa felt a little dizzied by it all. Between the free-fall, the abrupt cold, the motion itself, it all combined with the rapid thrum of her heart, the pulse of adrenaline shooting through her, and it was a dangerous cocktail. She'd gotten into plenty of trouble, done a number of less than safe things while riding the high of adrenaline. Turning to find Ben, grinning over at him, she wasn't honestly sure what to expect from his reaction. They had a number of things in common, sure, but her propensity for danger and reckless self endangerment? May not have been on that list. "Never more than three, I usually can't really breathe after the third one." She admitted with a laugh, eyes flicking back toward the cement ledge they'd just jumped from. Easing closer to him as he moved nearer to her, the brunette lifted her eyebrows at him at his question. "Do you want to do it again?" She countered. 

Given it was his first time, not to mention the fact that it was easy enough to read that he was not nearly as enthused about current circumstances as she was, she wasn't about to make him do anything that he didn't like or didn't want to. That wasn't the point. Giggling despite herself as the tug of the current yanked her sideways away from him a little bit, she shook her head as she swam carefully back toward him again. "We can leave, don't worry." She conceded, offering him a faint grin still. Glancing the distance toward the shoreline, Vanessa nodded her head in that direction before taking the lead and starting to swim that way. Her heart was still hammering away in her rib cage, and she probably could have done at least a second jump, but maybe there was enough to be said about how wired she already currently felt by the first one. After a handful of minutes, getting pushed and pulled by the tide as she swam, the girl reached the shore and quickly looked in Ben's direction to make sure he was still there with her, too. Being out of the water, her teeth almost immediately began chattering together, the breeze on her wet skin earning a shiver before she folded her arms tight across her chest and bounced on her feet in the sand, facing him and speaking unevenly through her chattering teeth. "You okay, baby? All good?"

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Ben really was expecting something to follow his comment about being well read, it would have been very much like Vanessa to say something teasing to him but he was pleasantly surprised when the moment passed by and she didn’t say anything. He realized though it might have been the fact that he’d mentioned her showering with him, which would have meant her coming back to his apartment with him, which hadn’t happened yet. “That’s right.” He breathed out, head nodding. It was about time for that, wasn’t it? They’d been dating a few weeks now, it only felt right. Plus it’d stop her from having to sneak into her mothers house, which Ben felt was an added plus. Grinning as she dramatically fake gagged at him, all Ben could do was smile at her as he spun her around on his finger. Walking up to the ledge with her, Ben half expected her to just jump without him, but he was thankful she didn’t. Looking at her when she spoke, Ben rolled his eyes. “Please, as if I’ll ever live it down if I pussy out now.” He laughed, peering down over the edge into the water. It was pretty fucking high, and chances were if it were day time and he could see where he’d be landing he’d be a little less apprehensive but he didn’t have that, so he’d just have to take a leap of faith, obviously. Stepping beside her, he looked at Vanessa with a grin, leaning over to press a kiss into the corner of her mouth then stepping up onto the ledge and launching himself off to jump into the water. 

The prospect of spending the night at Ben's apartment was new, and it seemed like such a casual invitation, but Vanessa wasn't sure what else she really expected. It wasn't like much of their relationship thus far was exactly formal in the least. They were moving passed the subject for the moment, however, because they were getting up to their ledge instead. In the few times that Vanessa had done this in the past, she'd always given herself an extra few moments to think of what she was jumping for. That was paused momentarily to give her boyfriend one last potential out, however, as the dark haired girl looked over at him with a faint grin. "At least you know." The girl snorted out a laugh in response to his answer. She half expected that Ben suggest they count down and make sure to jump at the same time, but then he was going ahead of her, Vanessa's brows shooting upward as he did so. She let out an easy sounding laugh as he went down and she watched him for a moment. 

It wasn't as long of a hesitation as she might have made typically for her thoughts - for fun, to stop thinking, to let go of being angry for now, to feel something - before she was jumping off, too. Ben had already hit the water, she was distantly aware of the sound of his splash as she flew downward toward the water. Unable to help herself, an excited sort of squeal left her on the way down, and only several seconds later she was hitting the cold water - always colder than she expected, no matter how many times she'd done this - and sinking downward. The back and forth of the tide always caused her to take an extra moment to catch her bearings, so to speak, before she was more able to push back up the few feet to the surface. Vanessa sucked in a quick breath as she came up out of the water and she had to laugh as she was caught by a wave that tossed her sideways before towing her back the other direction again. She could feel how fast her heart was beating in her chest, the adrenaline of the moment really kicking in. Half-twirling where she bobbed in the water, she sought out Ben finally, brows lifted and a wide grin on her face. "Tell me that shit's not fun, I dare you."

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Coming up behind Vanessa, he was no stranger to putting himself in her space. It felt normal for them to basically be attached, and he wasn’t going to let it stop any time soon. Rolling his eyes, Ben nipped at her shoulder. “Pardon me for being well read.” He sighed out then chuckled, kissing over the spot he’d nipped at. “Maybe tonight you can see it instead of just thinking it, huh?” He answered, the smirk on his face practically dripping through his words. Letting his arms fall away from her as she pulled out of his hold, Ben quirked a brow at her when she walked backwards, pulling him along with her but that didn’t stop the smile from forming on his face. Stepping into her when she stopped, Ben’s arms slid around her waist again, kissing her just as slowly as she was kissing him, letting his arms around her pull her into his chest as he breathed out a sigh when she inched back, swinging their hands between them. “You make all parts of my life more fun.” Ben murmured, grinning at her knowing how what he said was extremely cheesy. “Are we doing this or not, V?” He asked lifting one of her hands with his to twirl her around gently, smiling as he did so. 

There definitely was a playfully teasing retort, commentary about her boyfriend being a little loser or something of the like, that lingered on the tip of Vanessa's tongue, but she was nicer than that for the moment at least. It was his follow up that had her quirking a brow, smirk already on her lips twitching wider. "Oh, is that right?" She toyed back at him. Going to either of their places was a little untouched territory thus far. Her own home was because she still lived with her mom, and that was just a bad idea waiting to happen. They were still early enough on in this little relationship of their's that she hadn't spent the night at his apartment. Staying out super late? Sure. She typically went home, though, so that would be a first if it did end up happening after all. Making a fake gagging sound, complete with dramatically stuck out tongue at his words, the girl sneered with a wrinkle in her nose a moment later. "You're disgusting, anybody told you that?" She teased. Turning in a slow spin as their hands lifted, the girl hummed under her breath before giving a nod of her head. Picking up her pace a little, she approached the stone steps that led up to the ledge they intended to jump off of ahead of Ben. Stepping up at the edge of the cement, she pushed a hand back through her hair as she looked down at the dark water; the only thing remotely visible being the distant white-wash of the waves when they immediately rolled in. Twelve feet was a long way down, and it felt it. She'd done this a number of times for the thrill of it, for the inconsistency of how it could go, for the adrenaline of it all. She'd never done it with someone else, though. Glancing at Ben, Vanessa quirked a light brow at him. "Last chance to back out."

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Sighing at the way his girlfriend clearly avoided eye contact in way of an answer, he couldn’t help the way he automatically pulled her into him and scolded her gently. And while she was technically right about him dealing drugs, it still felt a little different than jumping into water from a high distance while alone. “I’m sorry I don’t want anything to happen to you, damn.” He laughed after she saluted him, shaking his head a little. Hypocritical? A little, but he didn’t particularly care either. Smiling as her hands fell away from his face, Ben spun to smack his hand against her ass playfully as she stepped back to the front of his car. Locking it and bending to tuck his keys to the left of a tire under the car, he jogged the short distance after her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind as he reached her. “I was just reading at home, I had a deal this afternoon but it’d been quiet so I figured I’d start The Institute finally.” His head dipped into her shoulder as they moved slower than they would be if he were just walking beside her but Ben found it near impossible to keep his hands off Vanessa when he was around her, so walking slower was just something she was going to have to deal with. “Then you texted me and I showered which I’m regretting now and here we are.” 

Once again, Vanessa gave a dramatically fluttered roll of her eyes at her new boyfriend's words. Whether they were sweet in sentiment or not. The smack to her ass as she walked away ahead of him had her let out a purposeful, playful yelp before she shot a smirk back at him over her shoulder. Heading toward the ledge they were going to be jumping off of, the brunette couldn't say she was terribly surprised when Ben's arms wound around her. They had grown to have a collective personal space, the two of them, it seemed. She enjoyed it more than she'd admitted. "The life and times of Ben Waters, everybody." She snickered with a subtle teasing quality to her tone, her hand tapping against his arm where it was wrapped around her. "See, now I'm just thinking about you in the shower." Her smirk was present in her tone as she leaned her head back against his shoulder behind her. She pushed forward out of his hold a moment later and turned to face him, walking backwards. Both of her hands lifted to take each of his and tow him along with her for a moment before she slowed to a stop and pulled him into her. Arms lifting up over his shoulders, she was slow, almost teasing in the way that she kissed him, but left it at just the press of their lips. Nothing deeper, nothing further. It lasted for a few seconds before Vanessa eased back and took another step away from him, taking his hands again and swinging them in the gap she had left between them as they started moving up the beach again. "Glad I could make your night a little more fun then." She concluded finally, grinning faintly at him.

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

While there were still lots of things about Vanessa Ben was curious about, he knew enough about her to expect surprises, and new information was never a bad thing, neither was spending time with her. More reason not to question the location she asked him to meet her. When she answered his question, Ben inched back from where he’d been kissing her neck to quirk an eyebrow at her. Before he could question it really, she was continuing. “Jumping.” He said flatly, then let out a chuckle with a shake of his head. “Okay.” Ben laughed lightly, pulling his shirt up over his head but stopped to watch Vanessa as she shimmied out of her remaining clothes. “With who?” His face scrunched up, a bit confused about who Vanessa was casually jumping into the ocean with but then it clicked as he looked at her face. “You’re telling me you’ve been jumping off that ledge into the ocean alone? For how fucking long?” He shook his head. “Listen, there’s difference in wanting an adrenaline high and literal death wish, you know that right? The oceans unpredictable, there could have been riptides or who fuckin’ knows what lese.” Ben murmured, moving over to her and grabbing at her hips with a shake of his head. “No more jumping alone, got it?”

Reckless self endangerment was kind of a hobby of Vanessa's she had to admit. She had mentioned it casually once while she and Ben were hanging out, but based on the increasingly reprimanding way he was looking at her he must not have taken it as seriously as she had meant it, in reality. Rolling her lips together, the brunette lulled her head sideways on her neck, coyly averting her gaze as a simultaneous answer and actual avoidance of his question about who she'd been jumping with. A dramatically fluttered roll of her eyes followed as he spoke and she righted her head once again. "Are you sure you get to lecture me? Don't you sell drugs, or something?" She countered, quirking a brow. Huffing shortly, Vanessa sucked in air through her teeth as Ben's hands found her hips and he shook his head at her. "Alright, fine. Aye, aye, captain." She lifted a hand to her forehead in a vaguely condescending salute before both hands moved to either side of his jaw. "Stop looking at me like that, I said fine. Now, come on." The girl smushed his cheeks with both hands for a brief moment before stepping away from him to go back around the front of his car now that her things were discarded in the back seat. Dragging her feet through the sand as she stepped onto the beach, she glanced back at Ben as he started to catch up to her a moment later. "What was going on in the wonderful world of Ben tonight anyway, huh? Something more exciting?"

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

While Ben wasn’t totally sure why Vanessa was telling him to meet her at the beach after dark, he wasn’t going to question it much either. He knew enough about the girl to know she had something up her sleeve almost all the time, and that they still had plenty to learn about each other despite having started dating already, he was alright with all of it though. It was fun getting to know her, sharing things with her, he was happy to do so. Still, he was curious about where this evening was going. Pulling up at the beach, an easy grin spread across his face as he spotted his girlfriend. Slowing to a stop, he parked his car and got out, one arm immediately going around the brunette’s waist to hold her and lift her off the ground just barely while the other still held his backpack. “Hi, gorgeous.” He sighed out, pressing his forehead into hers while she slid her hands down his chest. “It could be anything when it comes to you, V.” Ben murmured, his hand squeezing at her side as he held around her waist still. His head ducked into her neck though, kissing and nipping playfully at her skin before inching back. “What are we doing here, baby, tell me?” 

Vanessa recognized the fact that she was the slightest bit lucky her new boyfriend didn't ask too many questions when she had him meet her somewhere. Of course, she thought that was part of why they clicked as surprisingly well as they seemed to; the fact that neither of them particularly cared about rules or societal expectations. They both did have abandoned buildings they hung out in, did they not? Humming out a low laugh at Ben's reply, she pressed in close to him, personal space being a stranger when it came to being around each other. "You're right." She conceded with a subtle tilt of her head, a vague sense of mischief in her tone. She huffed out another light laugh as his mouth worked momentarily at her neck before she was lifting her brows at him. "We're gonna go swimming." She noted plainly. Dropping her hands from Ben's chest, she stepped back to slide her backpack off her shoulders. "More accurately, we're also gonna go jumping." She added casually as she opened the door to the car's back seat to toss her backpack inside. The cropped denim jacket she wore over nothing but her bathing suit top followed before the girl bent to pick up the shoes she had toed off. Her statement was a little more dragged out as she pulled her fish net socks off and tossed them in the back seat as well, though she paused with her thumbs tucked into the band of her plaid skirt to look in the direction of the high ledge they'd be jumping from and giving an indicative nod. "Off of there." She explained, a grin twitching at her lips before she shimmied out of her skirt. "I've done it plenty of times, it's fine."

[vanessaquinn]

With no more secret hiding spots to show each other, Vanessa had come to the conclusion that in order to keep things 'fun and interesting,' she was going to have to drag Ben along with her on her various self endangering activities. While they were rather characteristic to her at this point in her life, she imagined -aside from the whole selling drugs as a job thing- that Ben wasn't doing much that was too crazy. Like, say, going to the beach at night to jump off a ledge into the water. He probably didn't do much of that. But what did she know. She had taken the last bus she could get for the night, ignoring the subtle side eyes given to her for her less than shy attire, before she was dropped off up the street from the beach that she had texted Ben to meet her at. The beach was technically closed already, but Vanessa didn't care. She was already planning on doing something she wasn't supposed to, simply being on the beach after hours was a lot more mild in comparison. 

There was a set of cement stairs leading to a man-made ledge probably about twelve feet or so up, overlooking the water. Lifeguards sat up there sometimes, or she’d noticed hoards of teenagers during summer vacation take it up as their hang out spot. It was distinctly marked with three separate ‘no jumping’ signs, though, which– well, she tended to ignore those, obviously. That was why they were coming here, after all. Shuffling into the empty parking lot, she looked out in the dark toward the water before shortly the sounds of a car pulling up had her turning with a faint grin. Hurrying around the front of Ben's car as he was getting out of it, the girl flung her arms over his shoulders, around the back of his neck, to pull him in as she kissed a few quick times at his mouth. "Hi, baby." She hummed, dropping back off her toes to stand in front of him, grinning a little more notably now as she slid her hands down his chest. "Sooo, any idea what my plan is?"

[vanessaquinn]

Vanessa’s Look;;

Night Beaching with Ben ( 2/21/20 )

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

Though he had a feeling that something would happen between him and Vanessa going into tonight, he wasn’t sure exactly what it was. But with her in his lap and half naked already, he was willing to bet he knew what it was now, and he was on board. Kissing her slowly, Ben welcomed her tongue into his mouth, gliding his against hers while he held her sides. For now he let Vanessa take the lead, guiding his hands up to her breasts after she took her bra off had him humming against her lips. Looking up at her with lipstick around his mouth now, he squeezed pointedly at one breast while the other tweaked lightly at her nipple. The roll of her hips down into his earned a groan from Ben just before their mouths collided. He kissed her for another few seconds then inched back, dragging his hands down her sides to guide her body back and forth over his lap while he caught one of her nipples between his lips, sucking and toying at it with his tongue, eyes on her face. His hands moved her slowly but stopped after another moment, lifting to unbutton her shorts and unzip them. Pushing her back to stand up, Ben wasted no time in pulling her shorts and tights down, waiting for her to toe out of her boots before he could get them off completely. Getting them both off her legs, Ben looked up at her with his bottom lip between his teeth, knowing he was plenty hard in his jeans but really feeling himself throb seeing she wasn’t wearing any underwear. “Fuck, baby, you’re so hot.” He sighed, dragging his hands up her thighs for moment but then he was grabbing her hips to spin Vanessa around. Ben pushed on her back for her to lean forward, her ass in his face as she did so and that’s exactly what he was looking for. His hands slid up from the backs of her knees to her thighs, eyeing over everything he could see in front of him as he slapped a hand down on her ass, smirking at her where she looked back over his shoulder. “Good girl.” Ben murmured, leaning in to press his lips over her ass while his finger slid up and down her wet slit. 

Things were happening fast now, which Vanessa was okay with. She liked fast, fast was fun. Fast meant plenty of time for more later. Guiding his hands to her breasts, she let out a moan into his mouth at the way he touched her, back arching subtly into the work his hands did. She didn't need his guidance to continue the rocking of her hips against him but something about it she couldn't help but let out a hum at, that control factor of it. Her fingers in his hair squeezed near the base of his neck as his mouth found her nipple, the girl catching her lower lip in her teeth as she looked down at him. Before she knew it, she was standing naked in front of him, humming out a faint laugh at his sighed compliment, fingers pushing back through the front of his hair. She didn't have time for a playful retort, because then she was being turned around, half bent over. She held loosely at the bar railing at first, but they tightened as his hands dragged up her thighs. It was the smack to her ass, though, that instead earned a stuttered gasp before she hummed, swaying her hips a little bit as she glanced back at Ben behind her. "Your girl, huh?" She breathed, voice wavering just slightly as his finger teased against her center. Biting down on her lip, the brunette circled her hips slowly against his finger, eyelids fluttering as she worked to stay looking back at him as her breathing slowly became more shallow. "What if I'm not good, though?"

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

There was a specific reason why Ben hadn’t hooked up with Vanessa fully yet, sure they’d messed around, gotten each other off a few times but it was different when it came to sex, especially for Ben. He liked Vanessa, and he wanted to make sure what he was feeling was totally real and that he let her know how he was feeling before they took that step. He had a feeling though, now that they had and that she was his girl, it’d be something that happened a lot, not that he was complaining at all. As he inched back from the kiss, tugging at her bottom lip with his teeth, his eyes stayed on the girl’s face noticing the shift in her gaze, a similar one to what he assumed happened on his face too. His head lulled back as she leaned in to kiss at his jaw and down his neck, a sigh leaving him as he nails dug into his skin. Letting her suck on the spot she was working on for a few seconds, Ben moved her to straddle him in the seat, hands moving up her thighs to her hips then up under her shirt, fingers dancing along the bottom of her bra as a hum left him. After another beat his hands were curling at the black material of the top she wore and pulling it over her head slowly, eyes flickering to her body as more of it came into view. Tucking his thumb under her chin, he guided her down to kiss him while his other hand palmed over her bra covered breast, humming into the deepening kiss. 

Admittedly, Vanessa had more or less assumed that something of this nature was going to happen when she brought Ben to the theater with her. Whether it was the simple sucking his dick that she had hinted at a couple times already or something more, she had the idea in her head that there would definitely be more than just casual hanging out going on. So the fact that she found herself sucking a nice bruise into the side of Ben's next, well, she wasn't surprised about that. She hummed once again against his skin as his hands crept up beneath her shirt, but then she eased back to get it taken off when he pulled at it. Kissing him back as soon as she was pulled in, Vanessa let a long sigh out through her nose as she worked her mouth against his. Her tongue pushed it's way between his lips, easing into his mouth to deepen the kiss further. Hands lifting from his chest, the brunette reached behind her back without moving her mouth from his, unhooking her bra after a few seconds and letting the straps slide down her arms before tossing it aside. For just a moment, she inched back from kissing him only to locate both of his hands and guide them over both of her now-bare breasts. Her own arms looped around the back of his neck, one hand combing through his hair, nails dragging along his scalp as she started a slow rock of her hips against his and brought their lips together again.

[vanessaquinn]

benxwaters·:

While he was thankful Vanessa wasn’t running for the hills after finding out what he did as a “job”, he would have stopped for her. And if it came down to it, he’d quit any second if it started making her worry or upset with him. He’d pick her over just about anything, he realized. Ben’s hand at the back of her head fell to rest on her shoulder loosely while she droned on about him, eyes rolling at her playfully. Her nose brushing back and forth against his earned a smile from him, lulling his head in her direction when she inched back. His arm lifted to being draped across her thighs to take one of her hands off his neck, lacing their fingers and bringing it to his mouth to kiss it a few times. “The only thing I am..” He paused, letting their linked hands fall to her lap before continuing. “Is obsessed with you.” Ben sighed out the last part, a fond look on her face when she spoke again. She had her teeth in him, that was for sure. “You got me.” Ben breathed, leaning in to kiss her slowly. “You got me.” He murmured against her lips before his tongue darted across her bottom lip, teeth pulling at it when he moved back after another second. 

The energy is the open space of the theater was slowly but surely changing, Vanessa realized. The seriousness was wearing off, they were easing back into territory fairly familiar for them. It was one of the several things about being around Ben that came surprisingly easy. Watching with a lifted brow as he guided one of her hands away from his neck, the corner of her lips ticked upward as he kissed at the back of it. "Oh, is that right?" She sighed back at him, still keeping her face close to his. Admittedly, hearing the confession, the way the words were breathed right out of him, stirred something in her stomach, in her chest. Might have also been a little hot, but that was probably beside the point. Once their hands were dropped again and he was leaning in to kiss her, Vanessa moved her hand back to the side of his neck to join the opposite hand that had stayed there. They slid around to the back at first, her fingers linking together to deepen the kiss, but before that lasted too long, Ben was mumbling something against her lips and tugging at her lip. A breathy laugh escaped the girl just before he eased back, her tongue darting out over her lip following his teeth. She blinked slowly at him for a couple of seconds, gaze vaguely dazed with something between fondness and something a little less soft. After another moment, the girl dipped her head down to press a few kisses down the sharp line of Ben's jaw, down to his neck. Her hands shifted out of the way, finding his chest once against where she curled her fingers to tease her fingernails over his skin. When her mouth did reach his neck, she found a spot she evidently deemed good enough to suck sharply at, humming against the spot as she undoubtedly left a mark there.