Its been one month since I got to Vegas and got to see him, for the first time in 12 years we were face to face. 12 years of tip-toeing around eachother, hiding feelings, hiding relationships, just building an intense friendship. 12 years of sporadic contact, of always feeling like something wasn’t being said... 12 years came down to one night, December 3rd...
A 4 hour phone call, a dancing around the words that were at the tip of our tongues...until finally the weight was lifted off and the tension floated away “I love you” was said and we never looked back. Every feeling, every word ever said, every catch up, everything came down to those 3 words. The ones we always knew but could never say out of fear. But he said it and I cried and we cried and everything just felt like i always should have, Everything felt good.
January 25th, I ended up in Vegas, the first time we were to meet. He flew in and I drove in, and I spent an afternoon in my hotel room freaking out and doing my make up. Then at 12:17, my phone lights up with the question of what tower and what floor. By 12:43 I was knocking on his door, and when he opened it, it felt like this wasn’t the first time we were seeing eachother in real life. It felt like this is what we did all the time. He invited me in and we were nervous. And we talked and we caught up... and he sat across the room from me and I tried so hard not to stare. I kept my eyes on the view of the strip below. He came to sit next to me and we joked like we always do, and we laughed and it felt normal.
And then he kissed me... he leaned in and whispered come here, and he kissed me. And I swear the moment our lips met I could taste the next 60 years of my life. His lips are the only ones I ever want to kiss. And that entire weekend, I kissed him every chance I could. Laying next to him, sitting next to him, getting ready for the day as he was tying his shoes or getting ready to shower. In the elevator going up or down, in the car at stoplights, waiting to cross streets on Fremont, waiting for our table at biwon... I kissed him every chance I could. His hand fit perfectly in mine, his hands are the only hands I have ever felt comfortable having on my body.
Sunday came and we cried leaving eachother...and I cried for the first 100 miles of my trip back home.
I don’t know where I was going with this but its been a month since I’ve been complete, and I miss him so much. Facetimes and phone calls and messages don’t hold the same when you know what he feels like, what he tastes like, and what loving him in person is like.
Fate is funny, but its working. At least, I hope.
amandla
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
germansingergirl
andulkaphoto
romaincrisis
origamiaround
2087
gamechangershow
